05x44 - Patsies

[bunniefuu]

And finally, we promise to reach out to

negative teens and lead by example.

Amen. Now, don't say Amen in school,

son. Sorry, Dad. Kids, we've

had a real terrific year. We cleared 15

lbs of broken bottles from the student

parking lot. We sang carols for senior

citizens. That old man hit me in the

throat with his cane. He was old and

confused, Ryan. And we gathered 12

cans of food for the poor. I'd say that

deserves a big PAT cheer. How about

it?But there's one

group who needs positivity more than

anyone, your fellow teens. So

today I want us to go over to detention

and help some kids in need of help.

Greetings, Coach. The positive acting

teens and I were wondering if you'd let

us take these boys off your hands for a

little positive rehabilitation.

Hands.

Rehabilitation.

Beavis and Butthead, do you wish to be

rehabilitated?No.

Well, that's too bad, then, because I

order you to follow Mr. Graham and his

so-called positive-acting teens the

hell out of here, now! Yay! Uh, butt butt

butt butt butt butt butt butt buttUh,

I think this is gonna be stupid. Who

the hell is this butt munch?Okay, you

guys, let's do one more. Why is this dork

here?Um..

Like, behind the scenes at a crappy band

recording session. Yeah. That

guy's poodle hair! These guys

probably, like, went to Supercuts and

said... Could you just, like, make it

more poofy?Yeah, yeah, but but keep the

length. I want it, like, poofy on top and

then long and straight on the side. Yeah,

that would look really cool.

So, like, did you ask the barber to make

your hair poofy, too?Shut up,

butt head. My hair's like this naturally.

How come I'm cool?No wonder you're

such a wuss. Shut up, butt head.

Chicks like it.

That guy looks like a cheerleader.

All those years of hard work and practice

in the garage finally pay off when you

see the looks on those people's faces out

in the audience. These dudes are

like, Look at me. I'm kicking. Yeah, look

at me. I'm strolling my guitar around and

wiggling my butt see?Just like we

practiced. Yeah, look at me. I'm

shaking my hips and kicking just like we

did at practice.

Oh, man. Boy, I'm glad that's

over. Yeah. Check it out, though. They're

not stopping. So what do you think?You

think we got a hit with this one?So you

think we got a hit?Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Oh.

Why, that was funny. Uh oh,

they went to Bon Jovi.

But what if you could go into the future

and either give Geordi his normal sight

back or make Data a real human being?

Which would you do?

What?

BonerI'd fix Geordi's eyes because

Data's just an Android, and so he won't

actually miss not being a human. But

Geordi knows what it's like to see, so he

misses it the most. No way. I'd make Data

a human being because Geordi sees better

without real eyes anyways. Yeah, but

that's besides the point. No, it's not.

You're such a. You're the dummy. Shut up.

Yeah, yeah, yeahCome on. Fight. Yeah,

fight. Yeah. Kick his assDad.

Hey, guys. Cool it, OK?

That's my dad. But don't worry. He's

cool. Really. He doesn't look

cool. So,

Beavis and Butthead, you boys ready to do

something positive?Uh,

no. Yeah. No, thanks.

Well, we understand, don't we, kids?

It's real hard to get jazzed up about

positivity until you've tried it. But

being a positive acting teen is all about

new experiences, open-mindedness,

and change. Change sucks.

So now we're going to change a littered

stretch of highway to a clean stretch of

highway. Come on, guys, high

five. Michael rowed the

boat ashore, Hallelujah.

Michael rowed the boat ashore,

Hallelujah.

Sister helped the trip to sail,

Hallelujah. Hey, buddy, check it out, a

hubcap. Cool.

We're out here, baby.

Dad! Dad! What

happened?Oh, my gosh, Dad!

Whoa. I say, Dad?You

k*lled him! It was a track's fault!

You guys, like, go be positive and stuff?

Me and Beavis are gonna go notify the

next of skin. I am the next of

kin. He's my dad, remember?

Oh, yeah. Uh, your

dad's dead. It wasn't our fault. It was a

truck's fault. Dad!

So, uh, I guess he won't mind if we go

now. Come on, Beavis. I

want a crybaby.

Well, I guess I'm gonna read a magazine

here. Uh, you don't

know how to read, Beavis?Yeah, I do. I

can sorta read. And, um, besides,

there's like lots of pictures of cleavage

in the back of this magazine. You mind if

I, um, if I just read this magazine for a

while?Uh, I don't give a

rat's a*s what you do, Beavis. Okay.

Oh, boy. Yeah.

This magazine's pretty cool, yeah.

Whoa, check it out!

Wow. Whoa!

That's something else.

Uh.. I'm not gonna ask you what you're

looking at, Davis, so quit trying. I'll

be damned. Whoa, check it out!

Does that dude from Love Boat... look, he

looks all old?He's like, like he has a

dog. And I think that's his son.

That's great. UmWhat is this we're

watching, Butthead?Uh, nothing.

Do you have any other magazines?Uh, no.

Get this one. Uh, can

I read it when you're done?Um, no. No

you can't. This is mine. It's

for me. It's for me to read.

Beavis?Well this guy was working

construction and he had like this big

pole like shoved through his butt and

came out the other end and it's like um

he's still alive and he has a gigantic

bunghole now. Where'd you get that,

Beavis?I got it in the dentist's office.

They're like just there, they're free,

you can just take 'em. Boy, this is

boring. Where is that dentist's office,

Beavis?You know where it is, it's over

there by Maxxing Martin. Oh yeah.

I'm gonna go get a magazine. Okay. All

right, see you later. For today's

positive activity, you're gonna wash my

wagoneer! Um, that's not what my

dad said we were gonna do. Your dad's not

here, boy! And for the tenth time, if you

don't shut up, I'm gonna positively k*ll

you! Are you

sure?Uh, I'm

positive.

Well, you just better start to remember.

Mr. Buzzcut says I can keep you in

detention for as long as it takes.

Beavis, you hellspawn! Do you know where

my credit cards are?

No, sir. Positively not.

Positive.

I don't really feel like staring at this

guy's face, butthead. Can you change a

channel?Uh..

You'll probably just have to stare at

some other face.

Oh,

yeah. Whoa, check it out!They got some of

that Kyotepkate up there. Up above the

guy's hand. Uh..

Oh yeah, that is Kyotepkate.

You know, um.. That stuff, like, um..

You know, like, tastes really bad. And,

um, it's expensive. But then, like, um,

it doesn't really work. Eh..

Really?It's supposed to be

for diarrhea. So I took it for, like, a

whole week. And I never got diarrhea.

Uh, leave us. And then about four days

later, this brick pooped out of my butt

Cool. Yeah, it was pretty cool. It

was like, like really big and it was

like... I can show it to you if you want.

You still have it?

Oh yeah, I still have it. It's in my

underwear drawer.

Leave us. I'm

gonna pretend I didn't hear any of this.

Why?