05x28 - I Dream of Beavis

[bunniefuu]

Please don't grant me any more wishes,

Genie. It'll only make Dr. Bellows think

I'm crazy. No, it won't, Master. Not if

you are dressed like Socrates, the wisest

man of all time.

What a dumbassYeah.

Major Nelson, are you nuts?Quick,

Genie, back in your bottle. Yes, Master.

Megan Nelson. This show's gonna

suck now she's stuck in the bottle. Yeah,

that sucks. It happened to me once.

You're a dumbass Beavis. Oh,

yeah. Swap.

Take me out of the house while I'm gone.

Clean up your room. Take out the garbage.

Oh, check it out. I can't believe she's

talking to Snoop that way. Yeah. If that

wasn't his mom, he'd be putting the smack

down. Yeah, really. Those are cool

pajamas. Yeah.

Snoop rules. Yeah, yeahDoggy

Dogg is in the mother-- hey-oh. Oh,

check it out. He's got a phone on the

toilet. Yeah. We got to get one of

those. Dog. It's a

doggy-dog world. It's a

doggy-dog world! Yeah! It's

your world!

Oh look, he just touched your boobs Uh,

of course he did. It's a doggy-dog world.

Two in the morning in the 40s Still

jumpin' 'cause my momma ain't home Hey,

uh, give you a little something for the

Gs Yeah, yeah, hey, that's what a G

thinks. Yeah, I'm a G, I'm a straight G.

Yeah, you're a G for gonad. Gotta put

it... You might get smoked if you

gotta... Hey, watch your back, homie.

Hey, buddy, did you know I'm from Compton?

Damn it, Beavis, shut up.

You're not from Compton. No way, buddy,

I'm serious. Hey, I was kicking it on the

street. It was a hard time.

I used to drink gin and juice. It was

cool. Beavis, you're a white wussy

from right here. No way, buddy, you don't

know. You weren't around this. You know,

me and Snoop, we used to go to the

Compton swap meet together. Beavis, you

used to go to the flea market with your

mom. No way, buddy. See, I wear this

shirt. These are my color. Beavis. Yep.

I'm a straight jeep. Shut up.

Yep. I'm in the Compton swap meet with

smoke. Remember I used to kick it with

Dre. Beavis, shut up.

You've never been to Compton. You're

never going to go to Compton. You're

going to be here for the rest of your

life. You're stupid. You don't have any

money, and you're never going to score.

Well, cool. What is it?

Food?This rules. Uh..

money?

Cool.

It's like that genie chick. They usually

like, give me witches and call me master

and stuff.

I wish I knew who farted.

Wait a minute. This bottle just gave me

my wish, butthead. I know who cut the

cheese. It must have been one of us. And

it wasn't me, so it must have been you.

Yeah. No way, butt-knocker.

Besides, there isn't any chick in that

bottle. There's nothing but a dead mouse

in there. You dumbassIt

must have, like, farted before it died.

Don't wait, but it. And don't call me

Butt Knocker. Give me my genie bottle

back. If that's a real genie bottle,

let's see it give you another wish. Um

I gotta think of something to wish for. Um

Let's see. UmUm

Wait a minute.

Wishing sucks.

I wish. For something cool. Or

something. Uh..

Nothing cool happened, Beavis. Yeah.

That's pretty cool. No it's not, buttwad.

Oh yeah.

You better get rid of that damn bottle,

Beavis. That mouth

stinks. Oh

yeah.

All right people, I have just been

informed that your remaining classes

are postponed until we locate the

source of the even more vile than usual

odor in this room. Everybody report to

the cafeteria now! Yay! Whoa.

Cool.

See, I told you this mouse would give me

a cool wish.

I wish I had nachos. And I

wish I could score. I wish I

was scoring right now with 20 chicks all

at the same time. Uh,

I wish you'd get rid of that smelly

bottle.

nothing's happening. This sucks.

Yeah, really. It sucks and it

stinks. Get rid of that bottle,

Beavis, before I smack you.

Let's leave it in the cafeteria.

Cool.

Girl fight tonight! Yeah, girl fight!

Yeah, yeah, chicks! Yeah, yeah, here's

some chicks, yeah! Uh.. not so

fast, Bevis. Those aren't

chicks. This was that beer commercial

where those poor dudes come in and it's

like ladies night, and they're dressed up

like chicks?No way, really?

Yeah. It's really dumb. No way,

buddy, um.. really?Yeah.

He has some pretty nice boobs for a dude.

Yeah, I guess so.

Whoa, check it out. She's got a b*ner

switchblade. Oh yeah, yeahYeah, that's

cool. I'll save you,

baby. I'll save you. So long as you do it

with me. It's like one of those movies

where they're kicking a*s in a

restaurant, and the guy comes out and

says, Your crab style very good, but it's

no match for my flying cream.

Yeah. Except this is a beer commercial.

I like when girls fight, because they're

like, Yeah, she called me a b*tch and I

said you're a slutAnd she said, Yeah,

well, we'll go outside and we'll see who

the sl*t is, bitchSettle down,

Bebas.

Yeah, you slutWatch your

hands one by one. Yeah, yeah,

bitchAh, uhUh,

yeah. I should have done this at the

beginning of the video. Yeah, yeah,

there's more wrestling rules.

I was in the cafeteria and I found this

bottle with a dead mouse in it, so I took

it to the bottling plant and they gave me



be bad for business and stuff.

that sounds kind of like the mouse we

found.

Um, yeah.

Whoa, I smell another mouse. Hey you! Uh

No creature is stirring, not even amouse.

I just cut the cheese. Oh

yeah. Now that means you gotta like

give us a wish. Let's see...

um.. I got one!

I wish you hadn't farted.

Uh..

What the hell is that?What the hell

was that?

What?What did he say?

Hey buddy, I think I understood something

he said. I think he said river.

Good ear, Beavis. So like

this song must be about like this river?

Yeah Yeah yeahIs that a buffalo?Uh..

I think it's a wolf. A buffalo

could kick a wolf's a*s buddy. Damn it,

Beavis. Wolves eat buffalo. That's

what they do for a living. I'm not gonna

argue with you butthead. Morrissey could

probably kick a buffalo's assShut up,

butthead! Buffalo Roll! Hey,

hey, buffalo!

Well, I just heard another word. I think

he said two. He said two, butthead.

That's not a word, that's a number. Well,

so what, I heard it. Maybe there's like

two buffalo. Yeah.

Or maybe two wolves. Shut up,

buddy. Yeah, buffalo...

Check it out, Beavis. There's a chick in

a river. Oh, yeah, yeah, see, seeSo

that's why it said river. See?He said

river because there's a chick in a river,

see?Yeah, all right. Uh,

okay, Beavis.