02x08 - All the World's a Beagle

[bunniefuu]

[Lucy] "Birthday Beagle."

[sniffs] Ah.

A boy and his blanket, reunited.

[Charlie Brown] Psst.

I need to talk to you.

Today is a big day.
It's Snoopy's birthday.

- [shouts] It's Snoopy's birthday?
- Shh.

Every year, I try to throw
a surprise party for Snoopy.

And every year, he finds out about it.

[all] Surprise!

We thought you were Snoopy.

Why? He's standing right there.

[chewing]

[sighs]

Not this year.

I'm throwing Snoopy a surprise party,
and he's going to be surprised.

[shouts, grunts]

[yelps]

[chuckles] Hi, Snoopy.

I was j-just, uh, uh, um...

N-Never mind. [chuckling]

[Sally] Uh, what are we all doing
in your closet, big brother?

[Franklin] Telling ghost stories?

- No! Flashlights, on.
- [flashlights click]

We're being secretive.

It's Snoopy's birthday,

and I wanna throw him
the best surprise party ever.

Isn't it a little cramped
to have a party in here, Chuck?

Not here. Outside.

While I'm setting things up,
I need you to keep Snoopy busy.

I'll help you, Charles.

I'm in too, Chuck.

I'll help. But I want a corner piece
of the birthday cake.

Deal.

Now, Linus and I have come up with a plan.

We call it "Operation Beagle's Big Day,"
and you each have a part to play.

If you'll take a look at the instructions
I handed out,

you'll see what we need you to do.

Hey, Snoopy.

[gulps]

Uh, you're probably wondering
what we're all doing in the closet.

[chuckles] Uh, w-we were looking
for our flashlights.

- Found mine!
- Me too.

- Found mine!
- There it is!

I'm always losing my flashlights
in closets.

Hmm.

You know what to do?

Distract Snoopy while we set up the party.

Operation Beagle's Big Day
starts right now.

[Sally gasps] Help! Help!

Snoopy, I need you for a heroic mission.

This envelope contains
something important.

Shh.

It's a secret.

Hmm.

It needs to be delivered to headquarters.

Can you do it?

Aha!

[gears shifting]

[lever squeaking]

[engine starting, whirring]

- [gears shifting]
- [envelope whooshes]

[yelps]

[squeals]

[engine revs]

- [Woodstock chattering]
- Huh?

[Woodstock whooping]

[Snoopy exclaims]

Whoo-hoo!

[Snoopy imitating flying]

Okay, Linus. You're up.

Enter the dastardly villain.

[Linus cackles]

My Sweet Babboo is so complicated.

Whoo!

- Huh?
- I'll take that!

Now you'll never deliver
the secret message to headquarters.

Psst. Don't forget the laugh.

[cackling]

Are you going to just sit there
and let that sweet villain escape

into the remote and sinister jungle?

You have to stop him!

[Snoopy grumbles]

Ugh, yuck.

[animals, insects chittering]

[elephant trumpeting]

[Snoopy yelping]

[sound of lion roaring]

That's an excellent lion roar, sir.

Thanks, Marcie. You do a pretty good
elephant call yourself.

[sound of elephant trumpeting]

Thank you, sir.

[Tarzan yells]

[Linus] Over here!

I'm still getting away with the envelope!

That is unless I drop it.

Oops!

[cackles]

Ah!

Maps! Get your maps!

Can't get to headquarters without a map.

[coins rattling]

That'll be five cents, please.

[Snoopy grumbles]

[treat rattles]

[grumbling]

[sighs] The things I do
for a slice of birthday cake.

[bats fluttering, chirping]

[Snoopy yelping]

[gasps]

[all] Surprise!

I did it. I actually surprised you.

Are you surprised?

You still have to look in the envelope.

- It's something important.
- [Snoopy] Hmm?

[festive horn blowing]

Aw.

Happy birthday, Snoopy.

[blows candle]

[jazz music playing]

[cheering, laughing]

- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday!

Yay!

[noisemaker blowing]

[Woodstock chattering]

[Lucy] "Beagle with a Job."

- [raucous music on television]
- [door closes]

[munching]

Is this what you've been doing all day
while I've been at school?

[TV turns off]

You know, most dogs do more
than just watch TV and sleep.

In the old days, you'd have a job.

Every morning, you'd fetch slippers
and bring in the newspaper.

[snoring]

Snoopy! I'm serious.

We need to find you a job. Follow me.

Look what I found. Jobs for Dogs.

How about truffle sniffing?

Nah.

Therapy dog?

[Snoopy] Nah.

This one's perfect. Guide dog.

[squeals]

[yelping]

[clears throat]
When they say, "guide dog,"

I don't think this is what
they have in mind.

Besides, there aren't any airplanes
around here.

What are you going to guide in?

[screams]

[screams]

[whooshing, crashing]

[birds laughing]

I should know better.

How about we look for a different job?

Hmm, let's see.

You could be a herding dog.

[Snoopy] Hmm.

Just imagine running up and down
the rolling hills,

bravely guiding sheep to safety.

I hope you've got your shades on,
'cause I'm bringing the heat.

[Snoopy grumbling]

[yipping, barking]

Chuck, what's that dog of yours
trying to prove?

That being a herd dog
isn't the right career for him?

[chuckles]

How about this one? You can be a sled dog.

I can see it now.
A bad winter storm is blowing.

There's only one way to get across town,
and that's by sled.

Snoopy?

I hate to tell you this,

but being a sled dog
means you have to pull the sled yourself.

[Snoopy grumbles]

Don't worry. If we keep looking,
I'm sure we'll find something you like.

[gasps]

[objects rattling]

[babbles]

That's perfect. I think you'll make
a terrific neighborhood watchdog,

but there's something missing.

[objects rattling]

[whistle blows]

[whistle blows]

"Excessive speeding"?

I wasn't aware I was going that fast.
Thank you, Snoopy.

[clears throat]

"Blanket without a license"?

Wait, I have one of those.

"Sucking my thumb without a license"?

Wait, I have one of those too.

[gasps]

"Keep up the great work, citizen."
Thanks, Snoopy.

[somber classical music playing]

[music stops]

"Music too depressing"?

[calm classical music playing]

[music stops]

Now it's too boring? How about this?

[upbeat classical music playing]

[whistle blowing]

Everyone's a critic.

[Snoopy blows whistle]

[whistle blowing]

[whistle blowing]

- [Linus screams]
- Hey!

[whistle continues]

What's going on here?

It looks like a traffic jam, sir.

In the park?

[whistle continues]

- [groans]
- I'm late for Space Camp.

- And I've got a date with this ice...
- That can't be good.

[overlapping shouting]

[Lucy] There's no way he has
city approval for this.

[Marcie] I'm writing
a strongly worded letter.

I'm not taking direction from a dog.
Let's go.

He does have a whistle.

Why are we waiting? Let's move it.

Come on!

- [bodies thud]
- [grunting, groaning]

[child] Hey!

[groaning, sighing]

- [Lucy groans]
- [chirping sounds]

[Snoopy whines]

Way to watch out, watchdog. [grunts]

Sorry, Snoopy. You did your best,

but being a working dog
isn't for everyone.

[whines]

Wait, I have an idea.

[TV turns on]

- [laughter from television]
- [munching]

Maybe you're just a different kind
of watchdog.

[both laugh]

[Woodstock chattering]

[Lucy] "Legal Beagle."

Hmm.

Hurry up, Charlie Brown.

You've been lining up that shot
for five minutes.

I realize that, Linus,

but there are so many potential shots
I could take.

Some could lead to victory. Others defeat.

The possibilities are overwhelming.

[Snoopy grumbling]

I'll get you your dinner
as soon as this game is over, Snoopy.

[Snoopy groans]

[growling]

Boy, can that dog ever play marbles.

[stomach rumbling]

- [Charlie Brown] Supper time.
- [gasps]

I hope you enjoy it, pal.

[slurps] Mmm!

[chewing]

[slurping]

[babbles]

[kisses]

[Sally shrieks]

It's really happening!
Yes! Yippee! Hooray!

What's so exciting, Sally?

[singsongy] We're getting a kitten!

[gasps]

[groans, breathing nervously]

Uh, what makes you say that?

I found this can of cat food
on the kitchen counter!

What other explanation could there be?

- [gulps]
- [grumbles]

[grunts]

[sniffing, whimpering]

[teeth chattering]

[sniffing]

[screams]

[grumbles]

[shouts indistinctly]

I had no choice.

The pet store was sold out
of all your usual food.

Besides, they told me
this is just as good.

Even better.

[crying, gagging]

[panting]

[sobbing]

What were you thinking, big brother?

Would you give fish food to a bird?

[breathes heavily]

I'm really sorry, Snoopy.

I promise I'll get you
your regular dog food

first thing in the morning.

[grumbling]

I think Snoopy took
that cat food business pretty well.

He can be quite reasonable
when he wants to be.

[drum playing march]

Charlie Brown, did you feed cat food
to your dog?

Would you give tiger food to a giraffe
Orangutan food to a bear?

[sighs] I wonder if these are
the kinds of questions

big league managers have to answer.

It's not like I had a choice.

They were all sold out of dog food.
I had to buy something.

[groans] I can't stand it.

Frankly, I'm surprised
Snoopy isn't pursuing legal action.

[Snoopy clears throat]

"Round-headed kid, you stand accused
of the most grievous crime.

You are hereby summoned to appear in..."

You're taking me to court?

This is ridiculous!

What reasonable judge would hear
a case like that?

- Hear ye, hear ye.
- [ringing bell]

All rise for the honorable judge,
Lucy van Pelt.

This court is now in session.

We'll begin by hearing opening arguments.

[clears throat]

[shouting indistinctly]

[imitating swallowing, sighing]

[imitating gagging]

[breathing heavily]

[chattering]

[grumbling]

He's making a pretty compelling case.

Even I think you're guilty.

The accused will now have a chance
to give his side of the story.

It's like I've been saying,
I went to the pet store,

and they were all sold out
of Snoopy's regular food.

So, I got him some cat food.

Unbelievable!

This is an outrage!

- What is this world coming to?
- Would you feed penguin food to a lion?

The man in the pet store said
the ingredients were 97% the same.

[children gasping, murmuring]

Quiet in the court! Order, I say!

The court will now hear from witnesses.

All I know is there was cat food
on the counter

where the dog food normally is.

At first, I was suspicious,

then joyful,

then disappointed.

Now I'm wondering,

"What has my big brother
been feeding me for lunch?"

[gasping]

Charlie Brown's pitching was distracted.

A guilty conscience, I thought.

Or maybe just bad pitching.

I don't actually know
what's happening here.

I was just walking by,

but it sounds like
Charlie Brown is guilty.

[groans]

Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!

Order! Order, I say.

The court will now take a short recess.

- [cheering, laughing]
- [Linus screaming]

[sighs]

I have reached a decision.

In the case of Beagle versus Brown,

I find the defendant

guilty of feeding his dog cat food.

Whoo-hoo!

Charlie Brown, I hereby order you
to buy Snoopy his regular dog food

as soon as possible.

Court dismissed.

Phew! Firm but fair, Your Honor.

- The court agrees.
- [coins rattling]

Oh, how I love the sound of justice.

Clinkety-clink.

Supper time.

Here you go, Snoopy.
Back to your regular dog food.

I hope we can put
this whole thing behind us.

[chewing]

Hmm.

[slurps, kisses]

[chewing]

Good grief.

[jazz playing]