03x09 - It's All You, Snoopy

[bunniefuu]

"Snoopy on the Move."

Hey, Snoopy. Wanna play catch?

Unless you have other plans.

You know, Snoopy,

you should make more of an effort
to get along with the cat next door.

It's not like you can just move your house
somewhere else.

Why does Snoopy always have to fight
with the cat next door?

Not that one.

Dogs and cats are sworn enemies.

Nope.

It wouldn't be natural
for them to be friends.

How about this one?

Coconut? How dare you?

You're right. What was I thinking?
How about this one?

Looks promising. Classical form.
Good chip-to-cookie ratio.

This is acceptable.
Thank you, Big Brother.

Anyway, I told Snoopy
he should try to get along with the cat.

It's not like he can
just move his doghouse somewhere else.

I don't think he got the message.

Mom won't like you using
her good throw pillows.

Snoopy, your doghouse is an outdoor house.

This is the indoors.
You can't put an outdoor house indoors.

You're going to have to move it.

And leave the pillow!

I think that went well.

How about that game last night?
How about that Joe Shlabotnik?

I mean, he was on the bench
most of the time,

but you could see him sitting there
really concentrating.

Why is Snoopy's doghouse
on the pitcher's mound?

Snoopy!

You can't just move your doghouse
onto the pitcher's mound.

How am I supposed to pitch a winning game?

I'm sorry,
but you're going to have to move it.

All right, let's play ball.

And not on first base either.

He's rounding second!

Good grief.

Snoopy, I like you
as much as the next person.

That's why I feel
so comfortable asking you

to please get your doghouse
out of my pool.

Thanks, Snoop--

I think you need some professional advice

on how to get along
with the cat next door.

Usually, when I do house calls,
the house doesn't come to me.

I'm hoping you can help Snoopy find a way
to get along with the cat next door,

so he can stop moving his doghouse
all around the neighborhood.

We need to discover
what you two have in common.

That's how friendships are formed.

Do you like music?

Maybe the cat likes music too.

He definitely doesn't like bagpipes.

Who does?

What about flowers?
Who doesn't like flowers?

What about pizza? Everyone loves pizza.

One moment, please.

My bill.

Good grief.

Snoopy, the pizza's here.

I sure hope this works.
Lucy's advice cost me my entire allowance.

I'm proud of you, Snoopy.

You're showing yourself the better dog
by offering up the paw of friendship.

Thanks, pal.

Great to have you
and your doghouse back home.

Once again, pizza saves the day.

"Referee Snoopy."

You ready
for a little one-on-one, Franklin?

You bet.

Sorry, Snoopy.

Three players make for an odd game
of one-on-one.

You can be the referee.

It's an important job.
You uphold the rules and settle disputes.

Plus, if you think about it,
nobody wins without a ref.

You're a natural-born ref, Snoopy.

That was our fairest game yet.
I barely remember who won.

I did.

Let's hear it for the ref.

I know you're not supposed to use
your hands in soccer, Snoopy.

I'm just on my way to the game.

Well, you're the ref.

Everyone knows you swing the rope
to the right in a clockwise motion.

And any jump roper worth
their salt will tell you

that you always swing counterclockwise.

This has been going on for ten minutes.

Care to make a ruling, ref?

We'll abide by your decision.

I guess that's one way to settle it.

Sally, I wanna watch the baseball game.

There's always a baseball game on.
I wanna watch my movie.

A cooking show?
Neither one of us wants to watch this.

Hang on, they're making a soufflé.

I've always wondered how that's done.

Word's going around
that you're a world-class referee.

Well, we have a world-class problem
in need of world-class refereeing.

We were preparing these sandwiches
for lunch…

When my blockhead brother suggested
we slice them down the middle.

Everyone knows you're supposed to
cut a sandwich into two halves.

No, you always fold a sandwich.

Good grief.

As I was saying,

if you slice the sandwich,
the flavor leaks out.

Perhaps you've heard the expression,
"The greatest thing since sliced bread"?

Well, the greatest thing since that…

is a sliced sandwich.

You see what I'm dealing with here?

You guys talking sandwiches?
I cut mine diagonally,

makes it easier to dip in ketchup.

That's grilled cheese specific.

Not necessarily.

I couldn't help overhear.

My feeling is,
why cut or fold a sandwich at all?

Just grab the whole thing and enjoy.

You're wrong.

-You've got it wrong.
-No way! You!

You're all forgetting
the most important part,

cutting off the crusts.

The crust? That's the best part.

I like mine cut into ladyfingers.
Like at high tea.

I'm a fan
of the classic center cut myself.

Finally! Someone else with good sense.

That way, you get one rounded-off piece
and one squared-off piece.

-What? Philistine! You got it all wrong!
-You're wrong.

You monster!

-You monster!
-You're wrong!

Come on, ref. Who's right?

-Come on, ref.
-Who's right?

Lay down the law.

This has nothing to do with me, does it?

We've been arguing
proper sandwich-cutting technique

and have asked Snoopy to referee.

I see.

There's an old saying that I think applies
to a situation like this.

"In matters of taste,
there can be no dispute."

It means making a sandwich
isn't really like sports.

There aren't any rules.

At the end of the day,
everyone just kinda likes what they like.

Wouldn't it be boring if everyone agreed
on everything?

I guess we did get a little carried away.

That said, it's never a good idea

to leave a plate of sandwiches
with a hungry beagle.

Our sandwiches!

To be fair,
that does kinda solve our dilemma.

All right. Let's just order a pizza.

-Good idea. Cheese only, please.
-What?

-No, you gotta get pepperoni.
-Anyone like pineapple?

"Interview With a Beagle."

I have a very important favor
to ask, Chuck.

As an assignment for summer school,
I need to interview someone interesting.

Wow, Peppermint Patty, I'm flattered.

-I never thought--
-Not you, Chuck. Snoopy.

Snoopy, I'd like to interview you
for my homework assignment.

What do you say?

I'll mark that down as a yes.

See ya, Chuck.

You do realize
that dogs can't talk, right?

Thanks for agreeing
to the interview, Snoopy.

First question. Where were you born?

Wait. Chuck told me this one.

Daisy Hill Farms, right?

This is gonna be easier than I thought.

I'm worried about Patricia.

She always gets a D-minus in class.

And I'm fairly sure interviewing Snoopy
won't help raise her grade.

Snoopy may be interesting,
but he's not much of a conversationalist.

What about food? Any favorites?

Classic.

This interview is going even better
than I expected.

Let's discuss travel.
Have you been many places?

If you could travel anywhere
in the world, where would you go?

Hawaii?

Or maybe the top of Mount Everest.

Or perhaps an underground cave
full of crystals?

Perhaps Branson City, Missouri?
Or Walla Walla, Washington?

Well, I can't think of anywhere else.

Of course. The beach.

Would you say
surfing is one of your favorite sports?

Marcie says, "Surfing is more
of a lifestyle than it is a sport."

I don't know what that means,
but agree or disagree?

Uh-oh.

A few more follow-up questions.

Have you tried surfing on four feet?
Is it easier? Harder?

Any advice for first-time surfers?

I've always felt surfing was more
of a lifestyle than it is a sport.

Do you think Peppermint Patty is learning
anything from Snoopy?

I'm afraid not, Charles.

It's hard to do an interview
when your subject can't answer questions.

Wipeout!

Last question. What do you do to relax?

A day at the spa. Of course.

Thanks for the interview, Snoopy.

You've given me a lot of great material.

This is sure to get me an A-plus
when I hand it in tomorrow.

I fear another D-minus is
on Patricia's horizon.

I tried to warn her.

We can't stand idly by and watch her fail.

-Sir! Sir! Wait!
-Peppermint Patty!

I've been thinking, sir.

There's still time
to interview someone else.

You're welcome to interview me
or Charles here.

I have a button collection.

Thanks, Chuck.

Thanks, Marcie.

No need. I learned a lot from Snoopy.

-You did?
-But Snoopy can't talk.

I learned your imagination can take you
any place you wanna go.

I learned it's good
to do things that challenge you.

And that kindness is the answer.

Well, looks like this interview
isn't over yet.

What do you know. She did learn a lot.

And so did we.

Yeah. Like my dog lives a far more
interesting life than I do.