01x01 - Episode One

[bunniefuu]

- [Icky] Billy!

Billy!

- [Billy] Come on, Icky.

- Have you got any ciggies?
- No.

- Any money?

- 5p.

- It's enough for a phone
call, should we do Wally?

- His missus might be there.

- Yeah, come on.

- Alright, Wal, how's business?

- How's robbery, you mean.

- Ah, you haven't been robbed again?

- I've been robbed soft
every day of the week, son.

I've told them, you know,

I've told them teachers to
keep them kids out of here.

- It's no use telling them,
Wal, they're worse than kids,

teachers, they'll rob anything.

You know in our school?
- Yeah.

- There's no books and
pencils, teachers rob them.

It's true that, Wal, try
and blame the kids, stupid.

What do the kids round here
want with books and pencils?

I never bother with school,
it's a bad influence.

- Any road, what can I do for you?

- Just dropped in for
chat, Wal, how's Mrs. Wal?

- Oh, the same as ever,
son, still in a coma.

- [Icky] Is she in the hospital?

- No, she's upstairs getting me tea ready.

- I'd better go for my tea then, Wal.

- Er, you, you haven't, have you, son?

- Wally.

- Alright, alright, I'm sorry,
it's this job, you know,

it makes us so bleeding suspicious,

I sometimes find myself
searching Mrs. Wally.

Tara, son.
- Tara, Wal.

[traffic rumbling quietly]

we're alright, Mrs. Wally's
upstairs cooking the tea.

What's the number again?

- 5475941.

- 5475941.



[church bell chiming]





Four.

[phone ringing]

[phone pips beeping]

[whistling]

[traffic rumbling quietly]

[cheering]

- Here, come on, we'd better
move, they're coming out.

- We're alright.

- If teachers catch us, they'll
give us a load of mouth.

- If they recognise us, I
haven't been in for three months.

[background chattering]

- Are you with us tonight?
- What, what's happening?

- Louie says we're going
down the North End.

- What for?
- What do you think for,

idiot, we're going after the Swanjacks.

- I might have to look after
our Maureen's baby tonight.

- Your ma or your Maureen
should look after the kids.

- Yeah well, me Mam
might be going to bingo.

- Your ma lives in the frigging bingo.

Legs Eleven they call her.

- Whoa, yes!
- Stop it, dickhead.

- Poofter!
- You're the poofter, Higson,

yous two are always
together, aren't you, ey?

- You call me a poofter,
Rabbit and you're dead.

Hey.

- Billy.

Billy.

Hey.

Hey.
- Alright.

- Well?

- What?

- Why haven't you been to school?

- I'm not well.

- Sir, I'm not well neither,
I'm under the doctor.

- [Mr. Ferris] Under the doctor?

- Sir, I am, you know, nerves, look.

- How come you're out in the street then?

- What?

- How come you're not at home?

- Um.
- Sir,

‘cause it's healthier
out here in the street,

than it is in their house, sir.

- [Mr. Ferris] Robinson, you can go, lad.

- Yes, sir.

Billy, I'll see you tonight,

Louie says we'll k*ll them for you.

- [Icky] Sir, I'm here,
‘cause I just coming to see.

- Oh?
- Sir, I was, sir, you know,

with having to have so
much time off school,

thought I'd come and
collect me work, you know,

so I could do it at home,
very anxious to keep up.

- Billy, what's supposed
to be wrong with you?

- Bronchitis.

- [Mr. Ferris] Doctor prescribed
Embassy Regal, did he?

- No.

- Why don't you come in, ey?

Is there nothing, not one
redeeming feature about school?

- You what?

- In all the time you've been at school,

is there nothing you've enjoyed?

- Sir, I like the custard.

- Yes.
- I do.

- So do I, Higson.

- Remember when we went to
that mountain for a week

in second year, that was great.

- You enjoyed that camp?

- It was alright, yeah.

- Mr. Frampton's organising
a camp this year.

If you're in school,

perhaps you could put
your name down for it.

- We leave at the beginning
of the summer term.

- Are you likely to be working by August?

- You what?

- Well, maybe he'd put your name down,

if you were free to go.

But he can't do that, if
you're never in school.

Now look, despite nerves and bronchitis,

I wanna see you both in
school tomorrow, understand?

Well?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Alright, lads.

- Ta ra, sir, mind how you go, see you.

- I might go in.
- What, to go on that trip?

- Yeah, I might.

- We going with Louie tonight?
- Oh, I don't know.

- "Mastermind's" on tonight, you know.

- Great.

[car horn honking]

- Billy, Billy, when we
were talking just now,

did you see anyone near my car?

- No.

- Higson?
- Near your car, sir, no.

- Are you sure you saw no one, Billy?

- [Billy] I said no.

- What's wrong, sir?

- Doesn't matter, goodnight.

[traffic rumbling quietly]

- Who was it?
- Some kids out of third year.

- What did they get?
- A cassette, I think.

- [Icky] Teachers are thick, aren't they,

leaving things in cars around here?

- Yeah. [laughing]

[mellow rock music]

- [Maureen] It's him, Mother.

- What are you doing here?

- What, I live here, don't I?

- [Maureen] Oh, shut up, will you,

I'm trying to watch this.
- Well, if you think

you're getting any tea in
this house, you can forget it,

‘cause there is none.
- What, why not?

- Why not?

Don't ask me why not,

ask the bleeding social security why not.

You stand around for hours,

they have you dashing like a blast,

fight from one sodding box to the next

and you still come out
with nothing in your hand.

- Yeah, I gave you five quid yesterday.

- [Mrs. Rizley] Five quid,

what am I supposed to
do with five lousy quid?

- Oh, just shut it, I'm trying
to watch the telly, aren't I?

- You end up with nothing in this country,

you could be dying in the street

and they wouldn't turn a sodding head.

- For Christ's sake, can't
I even watch the telly

in this hole, just shut up, will you!

- Hey, you, that's me
mother you're talking to.

- Ah, get lost.

- Look, why don't you see a doctor?

- Doctor, what do I wanna
see a bloody doctor for?

- You're sick.
- I'm sick of living.

- [Billy] You, wasn't it,
you got her down the bingo,

didn't you?

- I never opened me bloody
mouth, she got me to go.

- Well, I'm sick of the lot of you.

I've got to live in this sh*t house

and I can't even get off
to bingo once in a while.

- Alright, so it's a sh*t house,

but going to bingo doesn't
help, does it, does it?

Look at it, the place stinks.

What are we doing living in this?

- Who's living?
- Hey.

Now hey, you, you just
leave me mother alone.

You're the kid in this house,

just some short-arsed
kid who knows nothing,

so just shut it.

- Piss off.

- Don't you dare use language like that,

not to me, do you hear?

‘Cause I'll belt you, no
matter how hard you are.

Oh yeah, really bad, yous

running around with
that Louie and his g*ng,

but I'm not frightened of yous.

- Frightened, you?

You wouldn't be frightened if
you were trapped in the road

and a f*cking juggernaut
was gonna hit you,

you haven't got the sense.

- Tell him, Mother, tell him!

Or I'll hit him, 1 will,
I'll frigging swing for him!

- Hey, you, shut it or get out.

[baby crying]

[groaning]

- Hey, mate, have you got the right time?

- Yeah.

- Four quid, alright?
- Yeah, just don't, don't.

- Four quid.

- Alright.
- Come on, quick!

- I've only got...

- What?
- I've only got fivers.

Have you got a pound change?

- Look, stay there and
shut up, till I've gone.

[dog barking nearby]

- Come on.
[car horn tooting]

- I've, I've been robbed.

- How much?
- Five pound.

- Well, did you get hurt?

- No.

- Well, five quid, sod all, is it?

- I've been robbed.

[traffic rumbling quietly]

[baby crying]

- [Maureen] I thought you'd gone out.

- Here you are, go to the bingo.

- [Maureeen] Where'd you get that from?

- Nevermind where I got it from,
just take her to the bingo.

- What time is it, Maureen?

- We'll have to get a move on.

Are you gonna look after our Tracey?

- No, I'm going out.
[baby crying]

- [Maureen] Well, I can't
take the baby to bingo, can I?

- Well, you're gonna have
to, ‘cause I'm going out.

- Oh, get your things, we can
leave her outside in the pram.

- I bet you had that money
all the time, didn't you?

- Yeah, I was saving it.

- Oh, yeah, what are you
saving it for, your future?

- I'll see you.

[baby crying]

- Will the first contestant
please step forward.

When were Liverpool
promoted from division two?

- 1962.
- Correct!

- When was Emlyn Hughes
made captain of Liverpool?

- 1974.
- Correct!

- How many caps did the immortal Dalglish

win for his country?

- 89.
[cheering]

- [Boy] Beep, beep, beep, beep, time's up.

- Your specialised subject,

the triumphs and successes of LFC,

you have scored 31 points.

[cheering]

- 31, that's just beat me personal best.

[shouting rowdily]

- Sit down.
- Hey, where are you going?

- What about Louie?
- Sit down,

you've got to do the general knowledge.

[shouting rowdily]
- Don't play games.

- But I don't do the
general knowledge, Lou.

- You do now, son.
- Yeah!

- Who's running this
programme, I'm Magnus,

I decide what questions, alright.

- [Boy] Go 'ed.

- [Louie] You've got two
minutes on general knowledge.

Starting now!
[laughing]

Who's the Queen's sister?

- What, Louie?
- Magnus.

- Good question.
- I've started so I'll finish.

[laughing]

Name the Queen's sister.

- Margaret Thatcher.
- Correct.

- Not even close.
- Sit down.

- Sit down, pleb head.

- Hey, who's asking the
questions, shut it, you.

What is meant by the term, Common Market?

- Dunno.
- Correct.

[laughing]

- What's an adjective?
- Dunno.

- Correct.
[cheering]

What are we gonna do to the Swanjacks?

- Get them, Lou.
[cheering]

- Who's the hardest in this g*ng?

- You are, Lou.

- Correct, correct, correct.

In your second round you
have scored four million 338.

[cheering]

Icky Higson, you are
"Mastermind" of the year.

[cheering]

- And Louie's the Pope!

[cheering]

Don't worry, when we
get them, they're dead.

It's great, you know,
when you're standing there

facing them, you know it's gonna begin,

it's like being on a stage

with spotlights beaming down on you,

you're like, you're like a star.

[cheering]

- What are we going after
them anyway for, Louie?

- They were on our patch, Saturday night,

two of them were seen on our soil.

- Two of them, Billy, two of them!

[lively chattering]

- [All] Swannies,
Swannies, get the Swannies!

- When we get there,
you stick close to me.

- Why?
- Why'd you bleeding think?

So I can hold your hand.

- Oh yeah, alright.

- [All] Swan, Swan, Swan, Swan!

Swan, Swan, Swan, Swan!

Swan, Swan, Swan, Swan!

- [Bus Driver] Get off
at the next stop, lars!

- [Boy] Hey, come 'ed, open
the bleeding doors, will you.

- I'll open the doors
when you pay your fares,

till then these doors are staying shut.

- No, they don't!
- Yes, they do, lad,

I control these doors

and till then they're
staying shut, alright.

[shouting rowdily]

Yellow alert, customers absconded
without payment of fare.

Mobile now at Stanley Road
Station, alert police.

It's the law for you, lad, I've got you.

Just hold onto him, you men,
- I've got a ticket.

- [Bus Driver] in fact
stop him there, lads,

just keep a grip of him, alright.

Hold him, hold him now.

- Come on.
- Dickhead.

- Leave him, you.

- Says who?
- Says me.

- What's up, Billy?

- Nothing, I'm just telling
him to lay off, that's all.

- And what if he doesn't?

Will you smash Rabbit, will you?

- [Billy] I might do, yeah.

- Did you hear that, Rabbit?

Billy's gonna whip you,

if you take the piss out
of his little Icky Wicky.

[laughing]

I'll have to watch you, Billy, won't 1?

You'll be after me next,
well, you just try it, lar,

‘cause I'll take you anytime, alright.

- What have I said, Louie?
- Nothing.

But I'm in the mood, I'm
in the mood for trouble.

- So let's go get the Swanjacks.

- [All] Yeah.

- Come on, Billy lad, me and
you will take the Swanjacks.

- Seven and six, 76.

Four and nine, 49.

One and eight, 18.

Seven and eight, 78.

One and six, 16.

One and nine, 19.

Untold, number one.

[shouting rowdily]
- b*stards!

- [Les] 28.

All the sixes, 66.

One, five, 15.

By itself, number seven.

- [John] Hey, Les, someone's
left a pram in the foyer.

- Yeah, okay, John.

It seems like someone's
left a pram in the foyer.

Now the baby's crying,
whoever's responsible for it,

please go and see to it.
[hushed chattering]

- [Woman] Fancy leaving a
baby in a pram on its own?

- Now, come on, come on,
girls, it must be somebody's

and if it carries on
crying like this, it'll-

- Get on with it!

- Come on, lad, read the numbers.

- Oh, get off!
- Come on.

- Oh, here, mark that for us.

- What do yous want?

- You know what we want, we want yous.

- We wanna talk.
- Talk?

- Let's talk, instead of fighting,

- Oh, there's not gonna be any fighting.

We're just gonna hit you
and you're gonna feel it.

- But we wanna tell you something first

about our crew being on your soil.

- Well, tell us then.

- Send one of your boys into the middle.

- [Les] By itself, number nine.

Seven and nine, 79.

Four and seven, 47.

Five and six, 56.

By itself.

- Icky, go and talk to him.
- What, Louie?

- Icky.
- It's a trap.

- I said go and talk to him.

- Me, Louie?
- Yeah.

- I'll go, Louie.

- You stay where you are, Icky.

- Chicken.
- He's not a chicken,

it's a trap.

- Trap, bollocks, here
you are, Louie, I'll go.

- Icky.

- [Les] One and four, 14.

Three, zero, 30.

Seven and six, it's 76.

Six, zero, 60.

Three and seven, 37.

- I know him, he's a knifer.

- Piss off.

- If he's carrying a blade,
the boys got a penknife.

- [Icky] Well, what do you wanna tell us?

- [Les] By itself, number two.

By itself, number-
- Icky!

- Just this.
[screeching]

- House!

- [Les] House called.

We have a winner
downstairs, check the card.

- Jesus.
[excited chattering]

- Shite.
- He was a knifer.

- Louie!

- Come back, come on!

- [Icky] It's only me arm,

it's alright, it's only a skin wound.

Jesus, I thought me number was up.

- b*stards!

- For a split second, I
saw me life fly passed me

and you know something?

It was still bleeding boring.

- Come on, we'd better go.

If they find out we're on our
own, they'll come back for us.

- Good, we can take them.
- Oh yeah,

four of us taking on the whole crew?

- We can.

- I've had enough of you
tonight, you caused that.

- It's alright, Louie, it's a skin wound.

- Yeah, he only got
that blade out for show,

you opened your big, fat
mouth and panicked him.

- If Billy wouldn't have shouted,

he would've stuck it in me belly.

- You caused that and now
you wanna go after them?

Why are you trying to
play the hero, Billy?

- I'm not.
- He's after my chair,

aren't you, you wanna lead this mob?

- No.

- You just try it, lad
and your number's up.

I decide when we get the Swanjacks

for what they did to Icky.
- It's only a skin wound.

- I decide and no one else.

Let's get down the South End.

I'm starving, whose got any money?

- I haven't got none, I'm skint.

- Come 'ed, Billy lad,

I'll let you buy us all
some fried rice, ey?

- I'm broke, I've got no money.

- Why?

- I don't know.

- 1 do, 'cause your old girl
spends it all, doesn't she?

That's why your old fella left, wasn't it?

Didn't your ma used to rob his clothes

and take them down the pawn shop?

Oh, I've heard all about your mother.

- Yeah, and what have you heard?

- Did you know his ma
flogged the three piece suite

for money for the bingo?
[laughing]

If you go in their house,
you can't take your coat off,

his ma takes it off the peg
and runs down the pawn shop

for more money for the bingo.

- Billy Bingo, you know
what I've heard, ey?

- Yeah, and what have you heard?

- [Rabbit] I've heard
your ma pawned the pram,

when you were a baby.

- Leave him, Billy, I'm warning you.

- Come on, here's our bus.

- Come on, Billy.

- Nah, I'm waiting for the
next one, I'm going into town.

- Gonna help your ma
carry her winnings home?

Come 'ed, Icky.

- No, um, I'm alright, Lou,
going into town with Billy.

[tutting]

- Your big gorm.
- Go 'ed, you pair of q*eers.

- You big poofs.

[traffic rumbling quietly]

- Curry and chips with rice.

[laughing]

- [Woman] That's yours.

- Are you going in tomorrow?

- [Icky] School?

- Yeah.

I am.

- [Icky] 'Cause of what Ferris said?

- No.

I really wanna go on that trip though.

- I'l come if you're going in.

- Alright.

Hey, I tell you what,

you can give me a knock in the morning.

- Yeah, alright, are you
moving up, mate or what?

- Yeah, go on.

- [Icky] Chips and rice with curry twice.

- Rice and curry with two chips.

- What's wrong with the way I say it,

chips and rice with curry twice?

It's a poem, that, rice
and twice, it rhymes.

They're all thick, you know.

Ow, little sod.

- [Billy] Put loads of curry
on mine, will you, love?

And leave it open.
- Unwrapped?

- [Billy] Yeah.

- [Icky] Ta.

- Uh!
- Get the knife!

[shouting rowdily]

- [Icky] Hey, Billy, give us a hand!

You b*stards, hey, get off!

Get them, will you?

- Uh!
- Get off!

- Come on.
- You get!

- Hello, Billy.

Hey!

Anywhere near the Ship earlier tonight?

Of course you weren't.

- I wasn't, why pick on me?

- 'Cause a fella gave us
a good description, son

and it was your style, son.

- I've been nowhere near the Ship tonight.

- Got any witnesses?
- Yeah.

- You would have an'all,
half a dozen of your mates

swearing you were playing
football at the time.

I could get you for this, son,

but it's not worth the bloody effort.

Won't be long though, will it, son?

You'll walk into a big one

and we'll have you for
something tasty then.

It's all on the cards for you, lad.

There's nothing down for you.

Got any ciggies?

Here.

See you soon, Billy, go on.

- [Maureen] Will you just give
it me, it's mine, you b*tch.

[toilet flushing]
It's mine.

- Don't talk to me like
that, I'm your mother.

- Mother, mother, some effing mother,

when you rob money from your own daughter.

- I won it.

- But it was my card, it
was my card that won it.

- It wasn't your card.

- Look, look, I'll give
you some of the money,

I'll give you some, you've got
to give it all to me first.

- For the umpteenth time,
it was my card that won,

your card was still waiting
for the number I left.

- It wasn't!
- Mam, I've cut me hand.

[Maureen sobbing]

- Listen, you stupid b*tch,

it was my card that won, it's my money,

so shut up or get out!
- Can you wash it

and put a bandage on it for me?

Look, I've cut me hand.

- I will get out, I frigging will!

I'm gonna get our Tommy,

I'm gonna bring our Tommy round here,

he'll get me money off
you, so just you wait,

you b*tch, just you wait!

- Mam.
- What?

What?

What?

- [Billy] I've cut me hand.

- [Mrs. Rizley] Bring him
round here, if she can find it.

She won't get that money out of me.

It's mine.

- [Billy] How much did you win?

- And you won't get none neither,

so you can forget it before you start.

- [Billy] I don't want
it, I've cut me hand

and I want you to wash
it and bandage it for me.

- I'm gonna hide it.

- Look, I don't want your money.

How much did you win, how much?

Look, we can use it, if
you've won a load of money,

we could do something
with it, we could go away,

me and you, Mam, we could get out of here.

- What are you talking about, we?

I'm gonna do something with it.

- But you'll just buy
more rubbish, rubbish,

it won't make you happy,
it never makes you happy.

- [Mrs. Rizley] I'll be
happy when I get to heaven.

- But we can go somewhere,

somewhere where you can get better.

- Better, what are you talking about?

I'm not ill.

- Mum, I've cut me hand.

[siren wailing in distance]

- Get out.

You're after my money,
but you won't get it,

none of you.

- I'm not after your money.

- Get out.

I said get out.

And shut the door after you.

[ship horn blasting]

- [Mr. Frampton] That was
at the camp four years ago,

you can see the river
clearly in the background.

- Where, sir?
- There's no river there.

- Which river is it, where's the river?

- [Mr. Frampton] Use your eyes.

Look, there at the back beyond the tents.

- Which tents, sir?
[tutting]

- There, dickhead.
[laughing]

- Where?

- There.
- Oh, there.

[laughing]

- Right.

[laughing]

Jackson, get out, lad!

- What for, I haven't done anything.

- Out, get out, lad,
get down to Mr. Collins.

- I'm not going seeing him.
- Out!

- I'm going.

[cheering]

[laughing]

I'm going home.

- Good, I wish you'd all go home.

Sit down, sit down!

Simmonds, go with Jackson,
if he tries to leave school,

tell a member of staff.

If there's one more interruption,

this projector goes back into
the staffroom, understand?

- [Class] Yes, sir.

- Right.

[laughing]

This is us doing the cooking.

- Sir, it's upside down.

- [Class] "Sir, it's upside down."

- [Boy] Come ‘ed, sir.

It's going right.

- [Mr. Frampton] You can
see Mr. Ferris there.

[lively chattering]

My God, who have we got here then?

- Sir, it's us.

- Sir, it's Higson and Rizley, sir.

- Open a blind, Carol.

And what are you doing here?

- Sir, we're in your class.

[laughing]

We are, you know, we're on the register.

- You're late.

- Sir, the bus broke down.

[laughing]

- Another bus broke down,

that must be the whole
fleet after all this.

- [Icky] It's ‘cause they're
all getting old, sir.

- Like me, Higson, like me.
- Yes, sir.

- Very true.
- Yeah.

- Why, sir, have you broken down?

[laughing]

- Well and truly, lad, well and truly.

Go down to Mr. Collins,
bring the register.

- Alright, sir.
- See you, tara.

- [Mr. Frampton] If you can remember

where Mr. Collins' room is,

it's been a long time, hasn't it, lad?

- It could be centuries, sir,
but I'd never forget you.

[laughing]

- Tara.
- Dead hard.

- [Mr. Frampton] It's
been a very long time,

hasn't it, Rizley?

- What?

- [Mr. Frampton] Well?

- Well, what?

[laughing]

- Well, what?

Carol, here.

- Ooh!
[whistling]

- Oh, Carol.
- That's it, poppet.

[laughing]

- Give these out, Carol, count them,

I want the same number back after lesson.

- [Carol] Sir, don't you trust us?

- Switch that off, Terry.

You can do some drawing, but I want quiet.

Well?

- What?

- Where've you been for three months?

- Nowhere.
- Nowhere?

- Nowhere.

- You expect to breeze
in after three months

and not even offer an explanation?

- I sent a doctor's note.

- [Mr. Frampton] If you've had
bronchitis for three months,

I'd have had galloping gout.

- The doctor signed me off.

- That doctor would sign anyone off

just to save himself a bit of trouble.

But you know and I know
you've been sagging

for three months, lad and
now you expect to breeze in,

sit down and carry on
where you left off, do you?

- No.
- Well, what did you expect?

- Can I go on the holiday?
- Pardon?

- Can I go to summer camp?

- Ha ha, so that's it, is it?

- [Billy] I've seen Mr.
Ferris, he said I could go.

- Christ, you make me sick, lad.

Because there's a few goodies on offer,

you think you can just appear
and take them for the asking.

You really expected me to
say yes, pat you on the head

and put your name down,
you did, didn't you?

You think it's your right, don't you?

You know, Rizley, since I've known you,

you've never shown a
scrap of human decency.

You're responsible now, lad.

Nobody is ever gonna do a thing
for you, you're on your own

and the sooner you get
that into your head,

the better for you.

- Right, sir, get off!

Sir, sir, Mr. Collins
said you'll have to wait

till break for the register,

‘cause he's looking for
his duplicating machine.

- [Boy] Hey, have you nicked it, ey?

- 1 didn't, I couldn't,
sir, I was with you

when it was robbed.
- Alright, sit down.

- Look, can I go to summer camp?

- [Mr. Frampton] Didn't you
listen to anything I said?

No, lad, you can't go

and even if I was prepared
to take you, you're too late.

- Come on.
- Tara, sir.

- Where are you going?
- What?

- Sit down!

It might be the first time
we've had the pleasure

of your company, but for
today at least you're staying.

- Come on, we'll play OXO.
[laughing]

We can bunk out at break.
- Yeah.

- Hey, you, hey, dozy
drawers, give us a pencil.

- Sod off, I haven't got any.

- What's that?

That.

- [Girl] Sir, sir, he's got me pencil!

- [Icky] Shut it, here you are.

- Quiet!
- Sir!

Do you want any help?
- Listen to her,

"Do you want any help?"
- "Do you want any help?"

- Hey, sir, you don't
half spend a lot of time

in that stockroom.

- Sod off!

- Simmonds!
[cheering]

- Simmonds, you see Higson and Rizley,

I want you to keep your eye on them.

If they try and leave school
out of break, let me know.

- Sir, Higson's in me place.

[laughing]
- "Higson's in me place."

- Come on.

- I'm warning you, Simmo, open
your mouth and you're dead.

- Sir, sir!

- Get!

- You're dead, lar.
- What?

- Louie's after you.
- Why?

- You know why, you had your orders

not to stay in the
Swanjacks hole and you did.

So we're sending the crew over tonight.

- We can take them.
- Not on your own, you can't

and Louie says you're
getting no help from us,

he's allowing them to come
onto our patch for you.

- They won't find us.

- Listen, if they don't
get you, Louie will.

There's nothing down for
yous two, you've had it.

- Come on.
- Where?

- Come back there, we'll
be safer in school.

Come on, lar.

- I'm going to Wales.
- What?

- Are you coming or what?

- To Wales?
- Yeah.

- Dunno.

- What would your ma say,
if you just disappeared?

- There's 10 of us in our family,

it'd be three months before
she realised I was missing.

- Are you coming then?
- Are you going?

I'm not hanging round here on me own.

- Come on then.

♪ We're going on holiday ♪

- Get out of mischief though.
- Get out.

- [Maureen] Get him,
Tommy, the little b*stard!

- Come here, you, come here!

- Get out the way.

- Put that away.

Go on, Tommy, get him-
- He's got a knife!

- Grab him!
- Move!

[background chattering]

Hiya, Mam.
- Where have you been?

Have you been in the house?

Come here, come here, you,
what's in your pocket?

- Look, I haven't been in the house.

I've just seen our
Maureen going in though.

- [Icky] Come on.

- Look, Mam, Mam!

Ta ra, Mam.

- [Icky] Come on.

- Come on.

[mellow rock music]

- I'll have two of them
there, half a dozen Yorkies.

Got any Mars Bars?

I'll have a dozen.

- Two tickets to Wales, please, mate.

- It's a big place, Wales.
- You what?

- [Booking Office Clerk]
Where about would you

like to go to in Wales?

- What if I just want
two tickets to Wales?

- [Icky] That'll do.

- Won the Pools?

- No, the bingo.

- Yeah, but where about
do you wanna go to?

- Benllech Mountain.

- We don't have any stations
at the top of mountains, son.

- Well, the nearest station to it then.

- Look, I just sell tickets,
I'm not a geography teacher.

Where about do you wanna go to, lad?

- Wales.

- Jesus, why do I always
get the funny buggers?

Hang on, these will get you to Wales, son.

- Platform six.
- Okay, okay.

- I've been waiting for you.

- Hey, listen, get that cigarette out

and listen, you shouldn't be here,

the second class compartment.

I'm talking to you as well, now come on.

Both of you out.
- Alright.

- [Train Guard] Any trouble,

you give us another shout, young man.

Alright, cheers.