Well, I'm not the kind to kiss and tell,
but I've been seen with fire up,
I've never been with anything less than a
man, so fine, I've been on fire with Sally
Field, gone fast with a girl named Bo,
but somehow they just don't end up as
mine, it's a bit divine life I
lead, I take my chances, I
die for living in the movies,
I die for living in the movies,
I die for
living in the movies,
I die for living in the
movies, I die for living
in the movies, I die
for living in the movies,
Can I see you a second?
Oh, sure, Pat.
I've been going over
that stunt stuff you've
been teaching me, I
think I've got it down.
At a hang of 180, you hit the wheel hard,
first you slow the vehicle.
Right, hit the brakes.
The emergency brakes?
Yeah, yeah, the emergency brakes,
and then you turn the wheel.
Right, look, Pat, I hope you're not going
to try any of this stuff, especially by
yourself, unless you know exactly what
you're doing, it could be very dangerous.
Thanks, Allie, this stuff is fascinating.
What was that all about?
Oh, Pat was interested in stunt driving,
so I was teaching him a few things.
Uh, he didn't want my advice?
Well, I asked him, and he said he didn't
want to bother an old pro like you.
Old?
Why would he say something like that?
Why did you leave me in Hawaii?
I didn't know how.
The other meaning of aloha,
you left without a reason why,
yeah.
Now I sit and cry, yeah, trying to watch
the waves at Waikiki.
Oh, what I mean is, I'll love
you till the day I do Hawaii, yeah.
Then you knew I didn't know, aloha also
means goodbye.
Aloha.
Aloha.
Aloha, what do you think, Mr. Winger?
I mean, this is perfect for the beach,
right?
Fabulous stuff, huh?
What do you think?
What do I think?
I can tell you in two words.
It stinks.
That is, without a doubt,
the single worst act I
have seen in over 20
years in the music business.
So you think we've got a few bugs dying in
us?
Those bugs need to get exterminated.
Where is the girl?
You used to have a pretty girl in the act.
Girls are good.
Uh, she left.
Creative differences.
Smart girls.
Look, I couldn't sell this act.
I couldn't give it away.
You better get yourself another manager.
Mr. Winger, wait.
Not so fast.
We've got a whole other routine worked
out.
What kind of act?
Country.
Real good old boys.
Country?
You guys... Give me a break.
Those are our roots.
Aunt Sadie loves our country act.
She said you would, too.
Your Aunt Sadie is a wonderful woman.
Why she ever went and married that
insurance salesman is beyond me.
All right, all right.
When can I see this act?
This afternoon.
Four o'clock.
Right here.
All right.
This better be good.
Country.
I don't do country.
Well, I had to tell him something.
How about a poker band?
I know where I can score an accordion
sheet.
Yeah, I don't know how to do country.
Lenny, you're a musical genius.
You can play anything.
Mira, where do I fit in?
Oh, mariachi, country.
What's the difference?
A few feet are Rio Grande.
Hey, I'm just glad we own the club.
We're sure not making a living with our
music.
Hey, we might not have the club much
longer.
The balloon payment is 20 Gs.
No sweat.
It's handled.
Lenny just got his family trust and he's
lending us the money.
I already cashed the check.
The 20 Gs are in the safe.
That says it's a good investment.
You cashed the check?
Had to make sure it wouldn't bounce.
Lenny, tell me something.
Most people get their trust when they're
Now, what happened to you?
Nobody trusted me.
Hey, let me tell you about this.
Not that I didn't jump in a car all the
way over here.
Hey, Ken.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Take a break.
I'll be right back.
How much money are we getting for that
last stunt?
How much we making on this picture?
Well, with two more days of sh**ting,
a few more stunts, 3,000 tops.
But we're still $5,000 short of paying off
the plumber.
You see, that's what I can't see.
How can a plumber charge $8,000?
And the earthquake didn't damage anything
in the house.
Well, the problem was under the house.
They had to dig up your whole backyard.
You should consider yourself lucky.
Lucky?
Because some jerk built my house on the
third largest fault in California.
That's lucky, huh?
I suppose we've heard from Pearl.
In a manner of speaking.
Pearl just sent this air express.
For what?
Well, that figures.
What is it?
I think it's a job.
Colt, have I got a honey of a deal for
you.
I think I've heard enough.
Don't touch that button.
This isn't Mission Impossible.
You're doing this.
The skip is Cliff Hance.
He was arrested on an industrial espionage
charge.
He worked for Dunloe Aircraft.
He skipped two months in prison.
A month ago.
I finally traced him to an apartment near
your set.
Go get him.
Well, that makes me sure I'm taking the
job.
You need money, Savers.
You always do.
So I'll be generous.
I'll pay you three thousands.
Three thousand.
She can forget it.
I've not taken less than eight thousand.
Oh, all right.
Five.
But that's where I draw the line.
Capisce?
I'm going to risk my life for a measly
five thousand dollars.
I've seen your plumbers, Belle,
Colt.
That's why.
Now get to work.
Don't wonder when you're going to get back
in town.
I'm Cliff Hanton.
Well, Mr. Hanton, I've heard about you.
Yeah?
Uh, can we talk?
Mick is my associate.
We can talk.
Okay.
I understand that you sell things,
like plans, you know, for designs,
technology, that kind of stuff.
Whatever that's a demand for.
Well, I got the plans for Dunlop's new jet
engine.
I figured some of the aircraft company ought
to pay plenty to get the hands on, huh?
There might be some interest, yes.
Don't play games with me, Quinn.
I'm not desperate.
See, I just got a nice piece of change
today.
So you want a piece of the action or not?
Well, sure, if what you've got is the real
thing.
Do you, uh, do you have the plans on you?
I'm not stupid, Quinn.
I'll bring them this afternoon.
It was here.
I swear it.
I put the money in myself.
Well, now it ain't great.
Here goes the club.
This doesn't seem like such a good
investment anymore.
It's not my fault.
Somebody must have broken in.
If they didn't take this.
Who else was here today?
Well, I'll tell you who.
Our faithful employee.
Well, he's not getting away with this.
Come on.
Are you Cliff Hanton?
Uh, no.
You must have me confused with some other
guy.
Well, look who's here.
We're officers of the court.
You skipped bail in Los Angeles.
Ah, no.
Like I said, you got the wrong guy.
Well,
I think they are the paramedics.
Well, wait a minute.
Wait.
We're gonna ask the questions.
Who are you?
What do you want with Hanton?
We're bounty hunters.
He skipped bail in L.A.
Beautiful woman like you.
I'm intrigued.
So am I.
What's a bounty hunter?
You know, man.
Steve McQueen.
Want him dead or alive?
Uh, we better have a talk, all right?
Yeah, what about?
We'll help you nail Hanton.
That's what.
We want him, too.
He stole 20 Gs from us.
We'll talk at the club.
We've got to get back to Mr. Winger now.
Yeah, I'll audition.
Hey, how'd you guys like to hear some
really dynamite country music?
I
miss my cow and it's got my goat.
I'm just a chicken when it comes to love.
But now my deer are the antelope.
One place since you've gone away.
What have we got here?
Maybe if I close my eyes, it'll all just
go away.
I'm so foolish for your love, girl.
You lie to duck, you fill the bill.
I miss my cow and it's got my goat.
I'm just a chicken when it comes to love.
I'm so foolish for your love, girl.
You lie to duck, you fill the bill.
Well, Mr. Winger, what do you think?
Real k*ller, huh?
More like slow death.
What are you guys trying to do?
Make earplugs fashionable?
You didn't like it?
I hated it!
And where's the girl?
I mean, if you're gonna play terrible
music, at least have a girl along with it.
I told you, she left the group.
Well, I'll take my cue from her.
My heart can't stand this.
Not to mention my eardrums.
Mr. Winger, wait.
Give us one more chance.
We got a whole other way to go.
I hope it's out of town.
Mr. Winger, it's so hot.
So radical.
I don't even want to tell you.
Some other group might rip us off.
Aunt Sadie promised she'd come to the
first gig you book us.
All right.
One more chance.
For Sadie.
And then that's it.
That's our agent.
He loves us.
Here we go.
Now, I was playing especially for you.
Could you feel it?
Uh, no, but I could hear it.
You said you could help us find Hanton.
Well, we're looking for him, too.
He ripped us off for 20 Gs, and that's the
money we need to keep this place.
And we could work with pros like you.
Hey, if everything works out okay,
bingo.
You get Hanton, and we get our money back.
Well, I'm sorry, but we work alone.
Yeah, if Hanton's got the money on him
when we grab him, you'll get it back.
Yeah, just tell us where to find him.
Uh-uh.
You take the whole package or nothing.
Hanton's girlfriend used to sing with him.
He's in the band.
All we gotta do is talk to her,
and he's in the band.
Howdy, partners.
I wouldn't be in this business if I
didn't.
Well, that's good.
And you know this is the real thing.
Oh, they're the real thing, all right.
Only these plans are incomplete.
Well, I figured if I came in here with
everything, I was gonna leave with nothing.
You don't have much faith in the people
you're doing business with.
Well, I don't have much choice.
I mean, you meet me with $100,000,
and you'll get the rest of these plans.
I'm afraid that figure's way out of line.
I could see maybe 50-55.
Well, okay, like I said, I'm not
desperate.
That's it.
Okay... okay.
Small bills.
You meet me tomorrow, one o'clock,
Bikini Beach.
This beach movie reunion is a terrific
thing.
I used to love those pictures.
I did some of my first stunts on them.
Were you a fan, Jody?
Um, no.
My parents didn't let me go to the movies
until I was about ten.
It wasn't that long ago.
Oh, yeah?
Hey, guys.
Hey, Benton.
Great.
Hey, thanks.
Hey, yeah.
Listen, Howell, you got any free time?
I'd like to practice some of those things
you showed me.
No, I don't think so.
We're pretty busy today.
I got some free time.
Oh, thanks, Colt.
But I don't want to be any trouble.
Oh, no.
It's no trouble.
Actually, after what happened,
we were filming State Fair.
I'm surprised you'd volunteer.
State Fair.
Oh, yeah.
I remember.
What happened?
Oh, I took out one of the race cars and
put a few scratches on it.
Yeah, they towed it back, and the director
held me responsible.
And it really wasn't fair, because I was
the one that racked up the car.
Anyway, we'll do it tomorrow, Howell.
I think I'm really ready to give it a try.
Mommy-o, Daddy-o, look who it is.
I don't believe it.
It's Pat Boone, white shoes and all.
How you doing?
The name's Jocko.
Hi, Jocko.
I've been a fan of yours for years.
Really?
The first time I heard
love letters, I mean,
I knew just then that I
had to be a musician.
Don't worry.
We won't hold you responsible.
What kind of music do you play?
Like nothing you've ever heard.
Yeah, you should hear it sometime.
Yeah, I'd like that.
See you guys later.
See you, Pat.
I thought you were a bounty hunter.
Now, what are you doing here?
Well, I'm also a stuntman.
Well, great.
We're all in show business.
What about Hatton's girlfriend?
You found her?
Sure did.
I'll try.
All right.
You two stay here in case we're needed.
Let's go.
How are you, doll?
Nice dress.
If this is your car, Jocko, it's too late.
I've already started riding.
Nah, don't you remember?
I got the limo.
Since when is an ambulance a limo?
What's the difference, right?
So how you been doing?
Missed a brute?
Yeah, like a sore throat.
Who's this?
Your side man?
Uh, Colt Seavers.
I'm a bounty hunter.
I'm looking for Cliff Henton.
Cliff?
Well, I know he's a heel, but a criminal?
Well, the judge will decide that.
I take it you're not seeing him anymore?
No.
No, I'm old-fashioned.
If a guy's gonna cheat on me, I want him
to do it someplace other than my apartment.
Yeah, well, you know where he might be
hanging out?
Hey, look, I don't hold a grudge.
If Cliff's running, he must have a good
reason.
You know what Cliffy boy did to us?
He took 20 Gs out of his face.
Oh, come on, Cliff.
Why do you guys have money like that?
It was a payment on the club.
If we don't get it back, we're gonna lose
everything.
Look, if Henton's innocent, he'll have
every chance to prove it.
Huh.
Are you sure it was Cliff who ripped you
off?
No doubt about it.
I know a place where Cliff might be.
You see, there's one thing he just can't
resist.
Nah, come on.
Just gotta meet this guy and I'll give you
tonight to take off.
Uh, I don't know.
I should meet my girlfriend.
Oh, come on.
You just got paid.
It's time to help a party.
Mmm, okay.
Ha, ha.
Then you called the...
This is Cliff's favorite beach.
When he wanted to go hunting, this is
where he'd go.
Yeah, I can see why.
There's Cliff, all right.
Hey, how are you, pal?
Jocko, man, I...
Where are you going?
What about our party?
Not this time.
Hey, where's our money?
Jocko, I was going to give you that money
back here.
What?
Hey, Sam, I'm a little short right now.
You give me a couple hours, I'll double it
for you, I swear.
We just want what's ours.
How about you, buddy?
You want to make a lot of money?
Oh, I'd love to, but not with you.
Come on.
Remember, our first priority is those
plans.
What if we have to pay for them?
Right.
Hold it.
Play a meter maid in an ambulance?
They're not cops.
But he's got cups on.
I don't care.
One of those was plans.
Come on.
It's
just this guy I gotta see, and then you
can have me.
How about that, huh?
You've got a better chance of getting anti
-lightning, pal.
Come on, go on, tell him about me.
You know, I'd rather hear about the car
that's on me.
Take it, Connor.
Tell him.
Is that a friend of yours?
I don't know who that is.
Take him out, but be careful.
And now, the idea?
No, I swear, I don't know who they are.
Come on, Si.
Let's show them we mean business.
It
might be time to play chicken with you.
There's only seventeen grand here.
It's short.
Where's the rest of the money?
Oh, I told you, I needed it.
Now, you let me go, and I'll get the rest
back.
It's not too late.
Too late.
Yeah, forget it.
What are we gonna do about the money?
Cole, isn't there anything we can do to
help?
After all, these guys are struggling
artists.
Forgetting about my plumbing bill.
I need every penny of that five grand.
You have a five thousand dollar plumbing
bill?
I wish it were only five.
Are you gonna tell us who the guys were in
the car?
I told you, I've never seen those guys
before in my life.
Right.
What else has he got in that thing?
Just these.
That's a card from a marine chap here in
town.
I got a boat, okay?
Some blueprints.
Looks like some kind of an engine design.
Wait a minute, Cole.
This is a jet engine.
Good old Howie.
Is that what you stole from Dunlop?
Uh, that belongs to me.
I'd appreciate it if you'd put that back.
Yeah, yeah, I'll put it back.
Better keep the evidence intact.
Well, I better be getting back to the
club.
You should hope there's no act like
Fenway's around.
Hey, Jocko, I'm sorry about all this.
Give my best to the guys, will you?
Hey, why don't you come over and see us?
I'd love to see you.
Well, I would, but I gotta get back to
work.
I left my cart parked in the red zone.
See you around.
You know, I gotta go, too.
I'm due on the set.
You guys mind staying with him?
Hey, it's my idea of fun.
I'll be back in a couple hours.
Here.
Well...
What'll it be?
Gin or Crazy Eight?
Rock!
Rock!
Right.
If I had it, I would have left the
business.
And now I'm leaving you.
My apologies to Aunt Sadie.
Good luck.
God bless.
Get yourself another agent.
Mr. Winger, wait.
We still got this whole other act.
What is it?
Jazz?
Gospel?
A marching band?
I'm not interested.
Ahem.
Well, I guess it's back to giving mambo
lessons.
I know who those guys are.
A bondsman from L.A.
hired a bounty hunter to bring in a
hantler.
The guy's name is Colt Seavers.
Now, the thing is, he's also a stuntman
working on a picture here in town.
If he gets handed back to L.A.,
we can forget about those plans.
And a whole lot of money.
Listen, can you find out where the Seavers
are staying?
Yeah, my sources are just a phone number.
Don't call away.
I can't believe it.
Here I am at a great beach resort.
There's waves and the sun and... guys.
And I'm stuck in a hotel room playing gin
rummy with Howie Munson.
Are you gonna play or what?
Oh, yeah.
Hey, uh, you know, your friend the bounty
hunter, he ain't too smart.
Anybody who lets me out of here,
I'm gonna give him $25,000.
Forget it, handsome.
Will you please make your move?
Right, right.
Jim.
What do you think?
What?
I don't believe it.
You don't even care and you still win.
Who is it?
Room service.
We didn't order room service.
Nobody move.
Let's go.
Uh, well, I'd love to.
Where's the key?
I said, where's the key?
Open it up.
And don't do anything stupid.
Get to your car.
We gotta catch somebody.
Hey, hop in.
I'll drive.
No, that would be too dangerous.
Dangerous?
This is what I've been waiting for.
Either I drive or no car.
All right, all right.
Yeah,
well, the guy who jumped
us is... he's all we got.
Howie, how'd you like that?
Not bad, huh?
Yeah, it was fine.
Keep up the road, will you, pal?
You got no cars.
Will
you watch that side?
I got it, Howie, I got it.
Relax.
With a little more practice, I can be good
at this.
Look, I want to help.
I want to see the band get their money
back.
But what can I do?
You don't have any idea where Ant might
have gone?
No, I took you to the one place I knew
already.
Then we know he won't be going back there.
Great.
For all we know, the guy could be on a
plane to Timbuktu by now.
I don't think so.
Ant was planning on making a lot of money.
My guess is, by selling
those plans we saw, he
must have stolen them
from the Dunloe aircraft.
Yeah.
That's where he was going to get the money
to bribe us.
By selling industrial secrets.
And the guys who sprung them, they must
have been buyers.
Only if they'd find out who they are.
Wait a minute.
This was with those plans, wasn't it?
Maybe they're the buyers.
The marine shop?
Why not?
It's as good a cover as any.
Let's find out.
How are we going to do that?
Stake it out until if Hatton shows up?
No, no.
They could rendezvous anywhere.
I want to make sure Hatton shows up right
where we want him.
How are you going to do that?
By going into the industrial espionage
business.
Howie, if you just care for some of that
gold bullion, we can...
Can you use it on the picture?
Yeah, sure.
No problem.
I want to help.
The guys will too.
That's too dangerous.
Besides, the best thing you can do is go
on home and forget all about Hatton.
Can't we at least be there when you punch
him out?
If my plan goes right, I won't be throwing
any punches.
Just a lot of bull.
Yeah, we ordered it from the factory.
We'll call you when it comes in.
Thank you very much for calling.
Can I help you?
I'd like to see the boss.
What makes you think I'm not?
Higher expectations.
You wanted to see me?
Yes, I think you have something I want.
Or at least you can get it.
And what might that be?
The plans to Dunlow's new jet engine.
I don't think I can help you as you see I
sell maritime goods only.
Gwen, let's not waste each other's time,
shall we?
My name is Phillips, Garson Phillips.
I used to work for the CIA.
Oh.
I gave it up, but I found out how much
more money I could make.
Freelance.
Read about a guy named Phillips.
He's wanted for smuggling arms out of the
US.
Well, then you gentlemen are acquainted
with me.
I still don't understand why you've come
to me.
Well, my current employers, they want
those plans.
I've been after them ever since I heard
this punk Hanton had them.
I track Hanton here.
To you.
Old connections come in handy.
I found out exactly what it is you do.
And just who are you working for now,
the Russians?
Oh, there's any number of countries.
We'd like to get their hands on those
plans.
Let's just say I work for the highest
bidder.
Frankly, that's all they are to me.
What if I said I'd already made a deal for
the plans?
I'd say I could better that deal to the
tune of a half million dollars.
In gold.
He's lying.
I happen to bring along my sample case.
Do you mind?
Please.
Half a million dollars.
In gold coins.
Well, I can get you the plans.
I'll need a little time, that's all.
Very good.
I'll have to verify those plans.
So why don't you have Hanton bring them
here, huh?
Two hours ought to be sufficient,
gentlemen.
Good day.
Hey, guys.
How much do you think I can get for this
classic?
Well, I wouldn't try to retire on the
proceeds.
Maybe I should do a solo act.
Did you guys ever hear me do Honolulu
Baby?
Unfortunately, yes.
You know, I'm going to miss this place.
You remember when we had the record
company president at the front table?
Yeah, if we hadn't set him on fire with
the special effects.
Who knows where we'd be today?
I've been trying to call.
Where have you been?
We gave a farewell concert.
A freebie in the park.
Not even the pigeons listened.
Listen, Colt needs our help.
He just won't admit it.
What's up?
Well, Hanton got away, but Colt has a good
idea where he's going to show up.
I figure there might be more reward money.
We could save the club.
You're looking for some men with muscle
and the guts to use it.
Yeah, but there's no time to find anybody
else.
You guys will have to do.
I'll give Hanton five more minutes.
I'm going.
Relax, relax.
We'll be here.
It's those guys again.
What are they doing here?
I don't know, but if we don't do something,
they're going to rouse up everything.
Come on.
Wait a minute.
The halls are right there.
Now wait, baby.
The troops have arrived.
We'd better just un-arrive or we're all in
trouble.
Colt's already in there.
Hey, there goes that little fly ball now.
Wait a minute.
You're not going anywhere until we say so.
You know, we should grab him before he
goes in.
Well, then let's do it now.
All right.
Yeah.
Sorry, but a couple of you stay here just
in case, all right?
All right.
Let's get him.
Come on.
Come on.
Hey, I said no surprises.
What is this?
Hello, Hanton.
That's the bounty hunter.
What?
Colt, you're okay?
Take care of these guys.
Take care of these guys.
Take care of these guys.
Take care of these guys.
Y'all firsthand.
Hey, come on.
Take care of those guys.
Oh my God!
Aah!
Aah.
Hey, I'm really glad you could make it.
I think you're in for a real treat.
And Mr. Wing, I know
you've written us off, but
I think tonight we're
going to change your mind.
Yeah, sure, okay.
Have Sadie give me a call.
I humor them, yeah.
They're nice guys, but they're strictly
from hunger.
However, Pat, if you're looking for
representation, I have a small agency.
That's because I'm very selective,
like a boutique, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, I think I do.
What do we have?
Milk for me.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, milk.
Same here.
Ladies and gentlemen, could I have your
attention, please?
You know, despite some pretty rough times,
tonight's a special occasion, because out
in our audience tonight, a dynamite
entertainer, Mr. Pat Boone.
He's inspired us to look back a couple of
years for tonight's show, and if it works.
..
I think you'll be seeing the birth, or
should I really say, the rebirth of a band.
And also, we've decided on a name I think
we can live with, Sha Na Na.
And, after much too long of an absence,
a beautiful lady, the fabulous Dora.
All to share, yeah!
We do Ron Ron.
We do Ron Ron.
We do Ron Ron.
You
know what those boys need?
A good agent.
You know, Sean and I haven't really found
ourselves since going 50s.
They've refinanced the club and they've
lined up six new gigs.
Shaka says there's only one problem.
Yeah, what's that?
They can't get the grease out of their
hair.
Yeah, well, success does have its
problems.
Speaking of problems, did you pay the drag
cleaning bill?
Done.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Cover tubing, cover your elbows,
risers, aluminum elbows, and labor.
Grand total of $8,064.21.
There you go, guys.
You did a good job, guys.
Thanks very much.
You're thanking them?
They should be thanking us.
Believe me, Coltrane, the amount of work
those guys did.
$8,000 is very reasonable.
Come on, I could've hired lawyers for
less.
You gotta look at it this way.
You were gonna have to
change those pipes sooner
or later anyway, even
without the earthquakes.
So now everything's taken care of.
You won't have anything
to worry about for
years, at least as far
as plumbing's concerned.
Howie does have a point.
All right, all right, all right,
I suppose so.
I just hope there's no more earthquakes.
It was a fluke.
One in a million.
I mean, how often do those things happen
anyway, huh?
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