05x09 - No Rms Ocean Vu

[bunniefuu]

I'm trying to kiss and tell, but I've been
seen with Farrah, I've never been with

anything less than a nine, so fine,
I've been on fire with Sally Field,

gone past with a girl named Bo,
but somehow they just don't end up as

mine, it's a death defying
life I lead, I take my

chances, I've died for
living in the movies and TV,

kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my
knee, never

spent much time in school,
but I totally, it is plenty,

it's true, I hire my body
out from bay, hey, hey, the

hey, it's only hey, hey, hey, I might jump
an open drop...

Even for those who have it all,
life can be mundane.

For me, it's a death defying life.

For the routine of wealth is still just
that, routine, however, there is one thing

that will always break routine,
there is the incomparable fragrance of Zoe

DeRoy, a fragrance the women of Europe
have known for years, a fragrance that

always creates the extraordinary,
Zoe

DeRoy, let the extraordinary happen for
you.

Super, just terrific.

Cut.

Beautiful.

All right, that's good.

We have to strike these two lights on...

Alec, I can't stand leather next to my
skin, I'll get hives the size of grapefruit.

Look, I'm sorry, I just talked a wardrobe.

Where's the model?

You're just the stunt man.

Alex told me to take the scene all the way
through.

Well let me tell you, that can be changed.

He's the director.

I can change that too.

Well I can see you and your leading lady
are getting along great.

How did we get rope?

I hope you enjoyed this commercial anyway.

Simple.

We needed the money.

Plus, the trip to the Caribbean didn't
seem like a bad idea at the time.

Well, it does now.

Who does she think she is?

Zoe DeRoy.

One of the richest women in the country.

Yeah.

You know, those rocks around her neck are
real.

If diamonds are a girl's best friend,
then she is well liked.

Yeah, well, not by me.

I can't wait till we get through with this
commercial.

Zoe.

Great nose.

Really terrific.

May I introduce Barrett Terrell and Zoe
DeRoy.

Enchante.

Zoe, Barrett owns this house we're
sh**ting.

As a matter of fact, one time his family
owned the whole island.

And now he's graciously allowing us to
throw the promo party here.

Oh, Alex, do I have to go?

I'll simply die if I have to rub elbows with
some bridge club or chamber of commerce.

Zoe, this is for the press.

Fashion people.

I mean, you're the centerpiece of the
whole campaign.

You and your jewelry.

You have to be there.

Zoe, just make an appearance, please.

All right, I'll make an appearance.

Attagirl.

You'll love it.

Well, I, uh, I better get things rolling,
huh?

A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Ryan.

I shall look forward to the party.

I want to see.

For sure.

Well, we're off for the weekend.

What should we do?

There's good fishing all around these
islands.

Why don't we go up to Kingston?

I'd like to hear some reggae music.

Hey, guys.

Glad I caught you.

Colt, I got some great news.

You are invited to the promo party.

And, uh, you folks, too, if you'd like.

What's so great about that?

You know I hate publicity parties.

I know, but wait.

Here's the good part.

You get to escort Zoe DeRoy.

Alex, that's the worst news I've ever
heard.

In fact, that is not gonna happen.

Oh, wait a minute, Colt.

Look, I'm asking you as a friend.

I'm in a real bind here.

Look, Zoe is gonna be wearing that
expensive jewelry we're using in the

commercial, and,
uh... I need security.

So hire some guards.

I'm a stuntman.

Well, I know, Colt.

I tried.

They just can't get down here in time from
Kingston.

Besides, you also happen to be a bounty
hunter.

The best there is, right?

Come on.

What's one afternoon?

Eternity.

If it's with Zoe DeRoy.

Alex, if you check this
out with her, you know

she and Colt aren't
exactly getting along.

Hmph.

Okay, okay.

So, uh... We don't tell her.

Come on, Colt.

You can work undercover.

It'll be exciting.

I'm sorry, Alex, but being in the same
room with her is too close.

Okay, Colt.

You can have it your own way, but as your
friend, I, uh, think I ought to tell you.

You ought to be thinking of your future.

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, nothing.

Except when I get done here, I'm,
uh, sh**ting six more spots with DeRoy.

Beautiful locations, beautiful models,
beautiful money for the, uh, right stuntman.

Well, uh...

Haven't I always been there for you when
you needed a favor?

What's one afternoon?

All right.

Colt, that's your sixth.

Come on.

It's only one sandwich.

They just cut it into six pieces.

Hey, guys.

You look marvelous.

Having a good time?

I'm a real ball.

Well, good.

Just, uh, remember your future.

Well, if it's any
consolation, Zoe doesn't

appear to be having
too good of a time, either.

So what if my club's restricted?

I hardly think these people would want to
be where they weren't welcome.

Anyway, how could they find the money to
join?

Do you have that kind of problem in New
York?

I wouldn't know.

I quit my club because they let people
like you in.

Excuse me.

Doesn't look good.

I don't know, Colt, but she's taking your
future with her.

You're in my way.

I feel bad for what happened on the set
about the hives and the leather and all.

I just want to apologize and be friends.

Don't apologize.

I don't want to be your friend.

Can I buy you a drink?

You know, until you approached me, I
couldn't imagine this party getting worse.

Now I can.

I'm leaving.

No, Alex asked me to keep an eye on you.

Why would he do something so sadistic?

He's concerned about the jewelry you're
wearing.

You're not leaving, are you?

Yes, I'm going flying.

I just got my license.

That's why I'm leaving.

But you can't.

The party would be nothing without you.

To tell you the truth, the party is
nothing with me.

Oh, that.

Hey!

Believe me, this was not my idea.

And I'm not getting in this car with you.

You said you were invited.

It's insulting for her to leave like that.

You have to get her back.

Look, Tyrell, it's more insulting when
she's here.

Now, will you relax?

We've got enough shots for the press.

As long as the jewelry's safe.

Everybody, freeze!

This is a robbery, do as we tell you,
and it won't turn into a m*rder.

All right, I want you to hand over your
wallet.

And your jewelry.

Now!

Come on!

Come on, now!

Thank God Zoe's gone.

What did we luck out?

Speak for yourself, it took me six months
to save up for this.

All right, who's Tyrell?

I said, who's Tyrell?

I am.

All right, let's move it, pal.

You're open and you're safe.

Come on, move it!

Where is she?

I have to hurry.

She's on her way to the airstrip.

There's someone with her, a stuntman.

You let her get away?

I couldn't stop her, I tried.

All right, how much lead do they have?

A couple of minutes.

You'll catch them if you're quick.

All right, let's go.

Please, can we talk this over?

No.

Look, I don't like doing this any more
than you do.

That's doubtful.

I promised Alex.

That's your problem.

You know, you're making this real tough on
me.

Hey, cowboy, I didn't ask for a bodyguard.

I'm going to go flying, and that's that.

Would you leave the rocks with me,
huh?

I'd travel light, but not that light.

What's going on?

We're being shot at.

Hey,

she won't get far leaking gas.

And there's no other place on this island
to set it down but right here.

That's right.

Who were they?

Probably...

Ah, it's dead.

So the radio's dead.

So what's the big deal?

It wasn't just the radio they hit.

Take a look.

Let me say one thing before anything else.

You're fired.

And we can forget the radio.

I can't fix it without parts.

Why aren't I surprised?

You know, this isn't exactly the way I
intended to spend the afternoon.

I don't even have the right clothes for
this sort of thing.

Clothes?

Well, I'd be more concerned about food and
water.

Why?

You just go into town or the local village
and get us some.

I wish I could.

We're on one of a chain of islands the U
.S.

Navy used as target practice.

Deserted.

Probably has been since World w*r II.

They had spotters here.

You mean there's no town?

No hotel?

Not even a... a motel?

Zip.

And there's no way off?

And no way to call for help?

Catch on quick.

I'm stranded on a deserted island with
nothing but a ham-fisted stuntman?

This is an outrage!

An unmitigated, intolerable outrage!

I'm glad we agree on something.

Wait a minute.

Where do you think you're going?

It's nuts and berries time.

You are not leaving me here.

You're giving me orders?

I thought I was fired.

Not till we get back.

You stay here.

There's nothing to eat here.

You want company, you come with me.

I can't go through the jungle in spiked
heels.

Well, take a walk.

Hmm.

I'll be right back.

Thank you for the information,
officer.

There's no sign of Colt or Zoe.

The plane's gone.

They haven't landed in Kingston,
which is the only airport in range.

Excuse me.

My God, the jewels!

The jewels?

What about Colt?

What about Zoe?

Oh, right.

Sure, I'm worried sick.

Look, a small plane like that's got an
eight to one glide ratio.

So even if they did go down, there's still
a good possibility they're still alive.

What do you say we take the chopper from
the chute?

Wait a minute.

You have any idea how much it costs to
take that thing up?

As much as losing Zoe's jewels?

Take the chopper, kids.

You have my blessing.

Yeah?

You're right.

The Coast Guard hasn't reported anything
down.

You'd better find them before the search
party does.

You know, this is going to be more trouble
than it's worth.

Look, you want to get paid, don't you?

Maybe we'll just squeeze the money out of
you, Terrell.

I haven't got it.

I wouldn't have tried this if I had.

Now, I suggest you get yourselves a very
fast helicopter.

Nice talking to you, too.

Look, I'm going to fly a pattern of ever
-broadening concentric circles.

That way we'll cover everything.

Makes sense.

You know, Holly, it
bothers me that we never

got any kind of radio
communication from Colt.

Yeah, that bothers me, too.

Of course, there could be several
explanations.

None of them are too heartening.

I can't believe this.

I've got blisters on my feet.

Actual blisters.

Things only working people are supposed to
have.

You led me to hell and back, and still
there's no food, no water, nothing.

Not quite.

Take a look.

Water!

They've got water!

It's supposed to be.

It's the ocean.

What good is it?

You can't drink it.

We're going to fish.

Fish?

What do you think they're going to do?

Leap out of the water into our hands?

No, we're going to catch them.

With that?

Going to beat them over the head?

You don't have any bait.

Sure I do.

Your necklace.

Come again?

Your necklace.

Come on.

It'll attract the fish.

Let me have it.

You are not going to use my $250,000
heirloom necklace as fish bait.

Look, you either give it to me or I take
it.

You wouldn't dare.

I don't believe this.

I am a DeRoy.

As close as this country comes to royalty.

And you are a stuntman.

A tradesman.

Philistine.

You'll pay for this.

I know, I know.

I'm fired.

Anything on your side?

No debris, nothing.

Well, that's a good sign.

I'd hate it if those emeralds were
underwater.

There's some islands up ahead.

Yeah, the Navy owns those.

Who knows, maybe they got that far.

Let's take a look.

I'm sure that stupid pole of yours won't
even work.

Hey!

Oh no, it took the bait.

What?

Must have been a female.

My necklace!

Hey, can I have an earring?

I was just kidding.

Come on, baby.

Oh, I don't believe it.

Well, I hope you like the sashimi.

I adore it.

There you go.

You did it.

You really did it.

Just like any other good boy scout.

Shh.

What?

Shh, listen.

I don't hear anything.

Listen.

It's a helicopter.

A rescue party.

Yeah, let's just hope it's friendly.

Of course they're friendly.

I love them already.

Here, over here.

Down there, the island.

Yeah, what about it?

Thought I saw a reflection of metal in the
trees.

Let's go down there and check it out.

Yeah, that'd be great if they did crash.

Save us a lot of trouble.

Hey, they spotted us.

Thank God, we're saved.

Hey, hey!

I can't see them.

They're

gonna come from one foot.

We gotta put some distance between us.

Let's go.

Hurry up.

Where do we go?

It's an island.

You can dump a bag and take their chopper
if you'll just hurry up.

Look, I'm a socialite, not a sprinter.

At least try and stay on your feet.

I can hear them, this way.

I heard them.