03x21 - Undersea Odyssey

[bunniefuu]

Well, I'm not the kind to kiss and tell,
but I've been seen with Farrah.

I've never been with anything less than a
nine, so fine.

I've been on fire with Sally Field,
gone fast with a girl named Bo.

But somehow they just don't end up as
mine.

It's a death defying life I lead.

I take my chances.

I've died for living in the movies and TV.

But the hardest thing I
ever do is watch my leading

ladies kiss some other guy
while I'm bandaging my knee.

I might fall from a tall building.

I might roll a brand new car.

Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made
Redfoot such a star.

I've never spent much time in school,
but I've taught ladies plenty.

It's true I hire my body out for pay.

Hey, hey, I've gotten burned over Cheryl
Teague's blown up for Rocky Welch.

But when I wind up in the hay,
it's only hay.

Hey, hey, I might jump an open drawbridge
or Tarzan from a vine.

Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes
Eastwood look so fine.

All right, Jody, get ready to go.

Don't lose your wig.

Okay, let's roll it.

Okay, they're away.

It's yours.

I got them.

Three.

Draw

a limo or something.

Okay, Mickey, get set to hit the sky.

It's on remote and I'm out of the plane.

Good luck, Colt.

Fantastic stunt, Colt.

Really good.

Unbelievable.

Needs work.

Uh-oh.

Hi.

No.

A simple hello would be nicer.

Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying.

I just came to say thank you, Colt.

Yeah, for what?

For all the good work you've done this
year.

Is this a round trip, first class ticket
to Bermuda?

All expenses paid.

Colt, you're going to Bermuda.

Yeah, well, what's the catch?

Marlins, swordfish, whatever's running
this time of year.

Hotels, tropical beaches.

Oh, life is good.

And the International Billiards Championship
will be set in Bermuda this year.

I know how you like contact sports.

Terry, tell the truth.

You don't give money away for nothing.

It's not for nothing.

It's for you.

God, you try to do something nice around
here, you get slapped in the face.

Colt, you can't refuse.

Yeah, watch me.

All right, give it back.

Just give it back.

You'll save me several hundred dollars.

Second thought.

Now you're talking.

I can't wait to hit the beaches.

Yeah.

Yeah, there's only one ticket.

Well, I've got an idea.

We'll turn in the one first-class ticket
for three coach fairs.

Oh, that's not an idea.

That's a dream.

Then you're dreaming.

Colt, this is like a dream come true.

It's funny.

My romantic dreams usually have a smaller
cast.

Like two.

Oh, come on, Colt.

This wasn't that much of a sacrifice now,
was it?

Sacrifice?

I could be sitting up front in a nice wide
seat.

A beautiful stewardess catered to my every
whim.

Well, Colt, there are more important
things in life.

Like what?

Like sharing.

Like comradeship.

Like marching side by side.

Why don't you enlist?

I'm serious.

Between the three of us, we've got
something.

Yeah, it's called less seating.

I'm talking togetherness.

I'm talking silence.

All right, but I know that deep down inside,
you have a very profound love for us.

Yep, I hate to say it, but Howie's right.

There's nothing like sharing experiences
with someone you know.

Okay, okay, okay.

You've convinced me.

Now...

Would you mind looking out the window and
enjoying the clouds?

Hey, anybody interested in hearing a
little bit of Caribbean history?

Bermuda was a preferred stop on the old
Spanish main for buccaneers.

The likes of Morgan the Pirate,
Edward Teach, and Captain

Kidd found their way to
the many ports of Bermuda.

Seeing that...

Oh, is this paradise or what?

Jody, it wouldn't
hurt your feelings if I

asked you to go sit
somewhere else, would it?

Well, what kind of a quack is that?

Nothing personal.

Only being seen with you ruins any chance
we have.

You outshine all the other women.

Oh.

Well, competition makes the world go
around.

Right, because we want to go around.

Oh, take a look at that one.

Ah, excuse me, kid.

Well,

it sure is hot and you look mighty
thirsty.

You could tell from the back.

I knew it.

I knew it was too good to be true.

Well, how about this?

Um... This vacation just sounded
so great, I had to go on it myself.

You gotta do better than that.

Well, would you believe that spending a week
alone with you was just too much to ask?

Absolutely not.

If I believed in the Easter Bunny,
I wouldn't believe you.

Yeah.

Besides, we're in a room without.

I've got my own room, thank you.

Swell.

I'll see you around.

Wait, wait, wait, Colt, Colt, I have a
girlfriend who wants to meet you.

She's been looking at you from afar.

Yeah, well, if she's a girlfriend of
yours, you keep her afar.

Far away.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You will like her, I promise.

No chance.

All your tens turn out to be twos.

Goodbye.

Uh-huh.

Why don't we go somewhere and get this
filled?

All right.

Colt?

Terry, if you're through talking,
just keep walking.

I would like you to meet my friend,
Claire Howard.

We arrived this morning.

Hi.

Hi.

Here we are.

Are you sure it was Claire?

See for yourself.

Damn.

It's Claire, all right.

If she could find out I was here,
others can't, too.

The lady loves her, Milo.

You ought to be flattered.

Ah, I see she's still wearing that
bracelet you had made for her.

So what?

It's hers, isn't it?

What's the big deal?

Yo, Milo.

Harry talked a lot about that bracelet
while you and Gia went for bed.

Harry was my partner.

He was just curious to see it,
that's all.

What did he tell you about it?

Hey, Milo, all he ever talked about is how
you were a nice guy.

Yeah.

Harry always liked that bracelet.

It's a shame he got k*lled.

You know, Arnie, when you're in a dangerous
business, things like this happen.

You know I feel bad about Harry.

We were close.

Sure, Milo, so were we.

Too bad the gold wasn't on the boat the
way Harry planned.

I already explained it to you.

I dropped it off before I blew up the
boat.

The captain saw me do it, so I had to get
rid of him.

So why don't we go down for it now?

Because I can't dive with this rotten back
of mine.

I told you, I pulled it when I jumped from
a boat.

Me and Mark will go for it.

Just tell us where it is.

Nah, nah.

I go, or nobody goes.

You got it?

You got it.

That's about it.

A little pain.

Pain?

Stuntman and bounty hunter?

Sounds exciting.

Well, it sounds a little more exciting
than it really is.

Have you ever gotten hurt doing any of
those stunts?

Oh, well, scars?

Boy, you could suspect a few of them if
you'd like, privately.

Colt, let's not rush things.

What does a bounty hunter do?

Mostly goes chasing after people who skip
out on bail.

You don't k*ll people or anything like
that?

No, no.

I just bend them a little.

And you get a reward for it?

Pays for the gas.

But, uh, I feel like I'm being x-rayed.

What about you?

Hmm?

Keith.

Keith Barry.

What are you doing in Bermuda?

I'm doing a musical comedy with Goldie
Hawn.

Oh, remember me for the stunt work?

Oh, sure, Colt.

Good luck.

Keith Barry's a great guy.

Get, uh, prepared.

We do Sophie's Choice, Endless Love.

Hi, guys.

Sorry I'm late.

I hope I'm not intruding.

Yes, you are.

It's supposed to be my vacation,
remember?

Now, I promised you an all-expenses-paid
trip to Bermuda.

I did not say for how long.

It's time to go to work, Colt.

Wrong.

I've got my airline ticket.

My hotel room is paid for.

So say good night, Gracie.

There's nothing you can make me do.

How about if I ask?

You didn't.

You two set me up.

Claire called me from Miami.

She really needs your help, Colt.

My boyfriend jumped bail.

You knew all along I was a bounty hunter.

Terry told me.

Why the cross-examination?

I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't
hurt him.

What'd he do?

He was accused of k*lling the captain of
the boat he was on.

Did he?

Of course not.

Milo wouldn't hurt anybody.

Just what were they carrying on this boat?

As far as I know, they were transporting
legal liquor when the boat blew up.

The Coast Guard found Milo in a rubber
raft.

He wasn't sure what happened.

You know where the boat went down?

I'm not sure.

How do you know he's in Bermuda?

After he disappeared.

I asked Terry to help locate him.

Yeah, I found that he had checked out of
the United States and onto this island.

He's also billiards in the International
Series.

Oh, it's something he'd never miss.

Yeah, and being
that this is a British

territory, he's safe
from the authorities here.

But not from the bounty hunters.

You do that kind of work, don't you?

Yes, but not on my vacation.

What if I did find him?

What do you want me to do?

Knock him in the head and drag him back to
the States?

I'm sure that I can talk him into giving
himself up.

I want to help prove his innocence.

Well, all right.

It can't be too hard to find.

This island ain't that big.

Is there anyone who might know where he
is?

Not that I can think...

Well, there is this one thing.

What's that?

When the boat went down, he hurt his back.

So they brought him on the island to see a
doctor.

If I have problems, he needs an
orthopaedic surgeon.

Keep the doctor busy while I hit the
files.

Oh!

Don't overdo it.

Well, Kim Donnelly, famed insurance
investigator.

Colt Seavers, famed bounty hunter.

Fancy meeting you here.

Our island paradise suddenly turned into a
green hell.

Still your old, sweet bounty hunter self.

Well, you bring out the best in me,
you know.

What's the matter?

Something wrong with the old bones?

I hurt my foot.

Oh, probably from chasing ambulances,
huh?

Ha, that same sly, innocent wit.

It's been a long time.

Yeah, but not long enough.

Well, I would just love to stand here and
chit-chat with you all day.

But I'm late for a tennis appointment,
so if you'll excuse me.

With a bad foot?

Oh, that doctor's a miracle worker.

Okay, Howie, let's find out what she found
out.

I'll show you what it is.

Milo Hendricks?

No.

Who wants to know?

My name is, um, Kim Donnelly.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, let's see if Milo's here.

Am I supposed to know you?

No.

But I know all about you.

You skipped bail in
the States, and right now

there's a couple of
bounty hunters on your tail.

I don't know what you're talking about.

There they are.

Remind me to cross Kim Donnelly off my
Christmas list.

I guess this means more legwork.

Well, if Kim Donnelly's
involved, it's a little more

than a simple lover's quarrel
or a guy jumping bailing.

Doesn't she know that she's aiding and
abetting a felon?

Not here.

Milo's not wanted by the Islanders.

Well, it's still unethical.

It's never been a problem for Kim.

What is it with her, anyway?

Do you think maybe she
had to struggle so hard against

male chauvinism that it
soured her or something?

No way, kid.

I happen to know Kim uses a man as her
personal mailman.

Really?

Who?

Jack the Ripper.

Why'd you warn me?

I'm a friend.

Yeah?

For what price?

I'm an investigator for the company that
insured the boat you were on when it sank.

Oh, right, right.

It was a terrible accident.

I'm lucky to be alive.

You're the only survivor.

It seems the captain was m*rder*d.

Must have been a total loss to your
company.

Not if we can recover it.

I didn't realize whiskey was in there.

Is that important?

It's not.

We're talking gold.

Gold?

If it was gold, don't you think I'd have
picked it up by now?

You're no fool, Milo.

You know that I've paid
every boat owner on this

island to be on the lookout
for any move you made.

Hmm.

I knew eyes were on me.

Like a hawk on a chicken.

Only I didn't know it was you.

Well, when it comes to paying off an
insurance claim, nothing stands in the way.

The only problem is...

You need me.

I don't need you.

Wrong.

You help me find the gold.

And I'll keep you out of prison.

We'll have to talk about it.

We just did.

Doesn't this look like a nice place to
spend a few days?

Two days?

This house belongs to our local insurance
manager.

He's in the States for a week.

Nice layout.

Seavers will never find you here.

The refrigerator is fully stocked... and
there's a pool table ready and waiting.

Pool?

My favorite weakness.

Among others.

I know all about you, Marlow.

Do yourself a favor.

Don't leave.

Oh, you'll turn me in?

What do you think?

Now, are we gonna work together...

or are you gonna start picking out drapes
for yourself?

What's in it for me?

Five percent of a lot of gold.

Kim Donnelly?

What's she doing here?

Claire... are you sure there's
nothing else that you're not telling us?

All I want is Milo back.

Cold?

Can I talk with you?

Where's Milo?

Probably.

Who's that person?

That's a good question.

I gather there are some who wouldn't
classify Kim as a member of the human race.

She's the insurance investigator Colt was
talking about.

What in the world would she want with
Milo?

I don't know, but there's gotta be a lot
riding on it.

Otherwise she wouldn't be snooping around.

Has Colt worked with her before?

More like fought with her.

Last time they got together, you could
have seen the fireworks a mile away.

She's not known for her fondness for
ethics.

She wouldn't do that.

She would turn Milo over to the police.

If it suited her purposes, she would turn
her own father in for littering.

Cold, I know that you hate me.

Oh, you're being too modest.

But I suggest that we work together on
this one.

Otherwise we'll both go down the drain.

What's in it for you?

Eight million dollars in gold.

Krugerrands, didn't you know?

No, but I don't care.

All I'm interested in is Milo.

Exactly.

And all I'm interested in is the gold.

Now I can't afford to have you taking Milo
back until I locate the boat.

He's the only one who knows where it is.

You know I'll find Milo.

You catch on fast.

Now you help me locate the gold and I will
turn Milo over to you.

How do you plan on doing all this?

I'll lead Milo to believe that you know
where the gold is.

What about Claire?

She expects me to help her.

Cold, Claire is using you.

Just like Milo thinks he's using me.

You're a hard woman, Kim.

Only when I'm working.

Now is it a deal?

All right.

One thing bothers me about this.

What's that?

You're making too much sense.

Thank you.

You didn't have such a grating
personality.

I might even like you.

Try and get used to it, huh?

How do you expect to sell him on this?

I think I'll do something I never thought
I'd do.

Lie.

How did he find out where the gold is?

From Claire.

No way.

She could never have figured it out.

What's the figure?

Either she knows or she doesn't.

Let's just say she doesn't know as much as
she thinks she does.

And let's leave it at that.

Milo.

I don't like secrets.

Now look, you're going to get what you
want.

Don't try to do better than that.

Claire, you've got to help.

How?

Kim Donnelly's hiding Milo out.

And if I know her, she's
making a deal with him

right now to find the
gold that was on that boat.

I don't know anything about any gold.

You know more than you're telling us.

I just want to see Milo.

Maybe you wouldn't be so eager to see him
again if you knew all the facts.

Facts?

What facts?

m*rder.

That captain wasn't k*lled in that boat
accident.

Milo m*rder*d him.

No.

I don't believe you.

Milo wouldn't do that.

We'll never know if he leads her to the
gold and she helps him get away.

What do you want from me?

You know where that boat went down,
right?

But he asked me to keep it a secret.

Help us find the gold.

Maybe we can find the truth as well.

Claire.

Where's the boat?

All right.

I'll tell you.

It's good to see you smile.

Well, ten percent is a lot better than
five percent.

Milo, I promise you won't regret this.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate
what you're doing.

Think nothing of it.

Not that.

Ten percent of eight million isn't too
shabby.

I said I'd give you ten percent of the
amount recovered.

How did you know it was eight million?

You told me.

No, I didn't.

I only said it was gold.

But you knew the amount the whole time.

My slip, lady.

Then you're bad luck.

Well,

according to Claire's map, this is the
place.

Seven miles northwest of Ledge Flats Reef.

I hope her information is right.

Well, we'll find out when we go down.

Don't you get a hold of that salvage boat
skipper?

Yeah, he's waiting for us with all the
gear.

Including the suction pump and the hose to
clear the sand off the wreck.

They're heading right for the seafarer.

They're heading right for the sunken boat.

Then they don't know where the gold really
is.

I didn't think they'd figure it out.

I don't know.

Call Jody.

Go ahead.

I'll take care of the vacuum pump up here.

Well, they should be at the bottom now
with the suction pump.

When they start clearing
the sand away, they're going

to be in for one hell of a
Fourth of July celebration.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I don't understand.

What are you planting a b*mb on the boat
for?

I don't know.

Isn't that like raising a red flag?

That's the other part of my plan.

Now, why would I booby-trap a decoy,
huh?

Nice.

Lead them away from the real treasure.

Until I can recover it.

From where it really is.

Yeah.

Well, that takes care of Colt and company.

I tell you, it was a deliberate attempt to
k*ll us.

Yeah, or anybody else who got near that
gold.

Marlowe wouldn't do that.

Yeah, well, face it, he did.

Colt, that expl*si*n should have kicked
those coins all over the bottom.

Yeah, well, there wasn't any sign of them.

Maybe Kim Donnelly was wrong about there
being gold on the boat.

Or else the gold has been moved somewhere
else.

I can't believe any of this.

Yeah, well, Kim's got some explaining to
do.

Come on, kid.

I'm getting tired of waiting for Marlowe's
back to get better.

All we know he's gonna dump us the minute
he picks up the gold.

All we need is a brace model to locate the
stuff.

Marlowe's partner pulled us in on the
code.

Let's do it.

I sure hope we can get this thing resolved
pretty soon.

What happened to you?

You look like you just slid into third
base.

Very funny.

Unfortunately, Marlowe didn't want to play
ball.

He tried to k*ll me.

Well, at least he doesn't play favors.

Sorry, hon, but I think your boyfriend's a
fraud.

Hey, girls, hold it.

That's the one.

Hey!

Let me go!

You're hurting me!

Jody!

Let me go!

Come on, honey, get her in the car!

You're hurting me!

They're dune buggies, kid.

I'm

gonna get this brace model to cut your arm
off!

Push him into the shirt!

Okay.

Put

his hands in the water!

Do it the easy way.

No!

Run into him!

All right!

All right!

Nice work!

Are you okay, kid?

Yeah.

Well, then, let's get him!

Wait for that ridge over there!

How you feeling, kid?

It'll be d*ck.

Time to take a shortcut, kid.

Are you convinced about Marlowe?

You were right, Colt.

Well, why'd they grab you?

For this.

What, your bracelet?

We're midway through the 9th International
Billiard Series here in Bermuda.

Denver Jack Willis is in the midst of an
incredible run.

Well played!

Beautiful combination shot.

If he continues at this pace,
the other contestants might

as well put on their swim
trunks and head for the beach.

Colt, I think he's gonna go for the two
ball in the side pocket.

This is a tough shot.

Denver Jack trying to make the two ball in
the side pocket.

He really hasn't played the best of
position here.

And he's going to have to be careful with
this.

Just nick that two ball.

Ever so gently.

He seems ready.

He's done it!

And the streak continues.

Yeah.

You're not paying attention.

This bracelet's gotta have something to do
with the gold.

Good position now.

And I would imagine he'll try to make the
seven ball across the way.

It's really beautiful.

Reminds me of Thomas Gray's poem.

Elegy written in a country churchyard.

We're not talking about cemeteries.

It's symbolism.

Full many a gem of purest ray serene.

The dark unfathomed caves of ocean bare.

That's very pretty, but it doesn't help.

Call me if you see anything.

There aren't many boats heading northwest
off ledge flats reef.

I'll be available by beeper.

Now the five ball.

He's gotta be ever so
careful about this because

miss hit this one and
it's a dead scratch.

Well, he's phenomenal.

He's made another.

At that point, did you just mention the
gems A gem in the ocean?

Yeah.

You wanna hear it again?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Claire mentioned that...

Milo was a billiard lad, right?

Yeah, I think so.

Give me a pencil and paper, quick.

I got a pencil.

Here's some paper.

So, what is it?

All right, when you need to locate
something in the ocean, what do you need?

Latitude and longitude.

Write this down.

Green, six.

The six ball.

G.

Purple, four.

Four ball.

Oh, that's brilliant deductive reasoning.

Another purple, four.

P, four.

And the next one's a garnet, so that would
be the seven.

What do you got so far?

Six, four, four, seven.

There's another ruby.

Ruby?

That's three.

We're on to it, kid.

Wow.





That is really clever, Colt.

Thanks.

But it was really how you gave me the idea
by that poem.

You're gonna go after the gold and the
reward, Colt?

Mm-hmm.

And watch Milo and his thinks come
running.

Then whap, we'll have both.

Look, all you have to do is take me out,
okay?

I'll show you where to dive.

And I know that the insurance company will
see to it that you're amply rewarded.

Sounds good to me.

Great.

We've got a deal.

She's having a boat outfitted right now.

That's impossible.

She couldn't have broken the code.

Get her.

Ha, be a pleasure.

That's the spot, Captain.

That's where he wants you to take us.

Right, I'll get my boat ready.

Great.

For once we got the jump on Kim Donnelly.

Oh, no, don't count her out.

Why?

There's no way she could possibly know the
location of the gold.

Look, that lady has got eyes and ears all
over the place.

Is she nice and comfortable?

Oh, the girl's a real tiger.

She told me Seaver gave her the location.

They're heading for the gold.

Come on, let's get to my boat.

You ready, Colt?

Let's go, kid.

And with these subs, we've got speed and
surprise on our side.

Here you go, Milo.

Stick it to him.

Come on, Mark.

Take care of those two.

And don't miss.

Good hunting.

Boy, I'm sure glad we
were able to drop those

two guys off with the
Florida State Police.

Boy, talk about a quick exit, Colt.

Yeah, Colt had just about all the fun.

He could stand in paradise just as well.

You're not kidding, because then the
island authorities could have held on to

Milo for months, and then where would you
be?

It was Milo.

Colt, I know I acted like a fool.

Oh, don't feel bad, Claire.

After all, love passes and marks its way
with mischief.

Another poem?

Balzac.

Who?

The old reprobate.

So, this is where Colt Savers lives.

Is it my turn?

Can I talk now?

You're a fool.

Here's a little something to help you fix
up this stump.

What's this?

A token of my appreciation.

What happened to the ten percent reward?

You didn't recover the gold.

I had to send down my own divers.

Your token could have been a little
bigger.

You're sharing it.

With who?

Oh, with me.

You?

I had to cover my expenses.

What expenses?

Airline tickets, hotel rooms, you know,
stuff like that.

Wait a minute.

This was supposed to have been an all
-expense-paid vacation.

Oh, Colt, you didn't really believe me
when I said that, did you?

What about it, Colt?

We make a terrific team.

Oh, no, no, no.

No, no, but I'll tell you what.

I have found the perfect match for you.

Who?

Terry.

She's about as double-dealing as you are.

I resent that.

I always put my cards on the table.

And you always have another one up your
sleeves, huh?

I mean...