03x10 - Hollywood Shorties

[bunniefuu]

Well, I'm not kind to kiss and tell,
but I've been seen with Sparrow.

I've never been with anything less than a
nine, so fine.

I've been on fire with Sally Field,
gone past with a girl named Bo.

But somehow they just don't end up as
mine.

It's a death defying life I lead.

I take my chances.

I die for living in the movies and TV.

But the hardest thing I
ever do is watch my leading

ladies kiss some other guy
while I'm bandaging my knee.

I might fall from a tall building.

I might roll a brand new car.

Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made
Red Hood such a star.

I've never spent much time in school,
but I've taught ladies plenty.

It's true, I hire my body out from pay.

Hey, hey, I've gotten burned over Cheryl
Teague's blowin' up for Rockin' Welch.

But when I wind up in the hay,
it's only hay.

Hey, hey, I might jump an open drawbridge
or poison from a vine.

Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes
Eastwood look so fine.

Darryl Hicks, I have a warrant.

Looks like somebody else might be after
this stuff.

They'll jump in on two counts of as*ault.

You're gonna have to come with me,
Bart.

Excuse me.

Let me handle this.

Damn.

Damn.

Damn.

Damn.

Damn.

Ryan, police department.

Who are you?

Colt Seavers.

I work for a bonding company.

We got a warrant outstanding on your
prisoner.

I know.

I brought him in last time he jumped bail.

Well, it looks like we're both after the
same man.

Well, I could have used you a little
earlier, Lieutenant.

You got the jump on me at the gate.

Maybe I can return the favor.

I'll book him for you.

Sure.

Sign my receipt.

Sure.

Why not?

Thanks, Lieutenant.

Where's the package?

Okay, pull me out.

Come on.

There you go.

Hey, the vent takes a funny turn.

It's too narrow.

I can't reach it.

That's seven million dollars of pure
cocaine you threw down there.

Hey, I'm sorry.

I didn't have enough time to find a better
spot.

Tell it to my buyer.

He's coming in tomorrow.

And he doesn't take losses gracefully.

Yeah.

He k*lled the last guy who didn't deliver.

I'm sorry.

Hey, maybe we can get it out with a hook,
huh?

Ah, now we might break the package.

Too bad you don't know any kids small
enough to get down there.

Yeah, that's just what we need.

A six-year-old juvenile delinquent.

How about a 40-year-old one?

Since when are you in the pool?

I'm not.

I need a favor.

Like what?

There's 500 in it for you.

Who do I have to mug?

All you have to do is get a package out of
a tight spot.

What kind of tight spot?

An air conditioning vent.

I can't do that, Lieutenant.

You trying to hold me up for more?

Would I do that to a pal?

You need a stuntman for a job like that.

Are you kidding?

I got you where I want you.

Good take, guys.

Good take.

Hey, thanks, Colt.

You're a nice guy, Howie.

When are you planning to settle down?

Settle down?

Me?

Sure.

You don't want to end up like Colt,
do you?

Forget it.

I'm just like Colt.

Movies are my life.

Ah, but how about someone who's bright and
intelligent with a master's degree?

And gorgeous.

Yeah?

Well, maybe I should meet her.

Who is she?

Our daughter.

Okay, guys.

What we have here is a smuggling operation
run by the mob.

Let's try a run-through.

And action.

All right, let's go, guys.

Come on, Howie.

Come on.

A little more energy now.

Come on, guys.

Okay.

Wait here.

I'll take care of everything.

And action.

Hi, Lacey.

How'd you get on the lot?

Hey, everybody knows me, babe.

What's the matter?

Aren't you glad to see an old friend?

You don't have any friends.

I got 500 bucks that says Mickey's gonna
be your buddy.

If you're involved, it's gotta be dirty
money.

Oh, come on.

Lacey.

Get out of here.

So which one is it gonna be?

I couldn't make the deal.

Get to the car.

We'll take care of this.

Excellent.

Let's go for a take.

Slow down now.

And action.

And... What are you doing?

That's creepy.

Mickey!

Cole, where you going?

Cole.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

Pete, I need your car.

Take it.

Hey, when am I gonna get it back?

Where's Lacey?

They got her.

You're the FBI guy.

Do something.

We just can't sit here.

Mr. Dwyer, trust us.

Nothing can be done until we hear from the
abductors.

Mickey, maybe we can help.

Here.

What's this?

We pulled our savings.

Nearly $5,000.

This is great, guys.

This is really great.

You know, I hate to disappoint you,
but I don't think money's the object here.

It just doesn't make sense.

I think Colt is right.

Well, what could it be?

Mickey, if we knew, we'd do something
about it.

But for now, we just have to sit and wait.

What are you pushing me around for?

I've gotta deliver the cocaine this
afternoon.

Well, don't blame me.

Your arms are too short.

She couldn't reach it.

Excuses aren't gonna do me any good.

I know somebody.

Call Lacey's husband, Mickey.

He'll have to do it.

Yeah.

We have Lacey.

Ah, that's no good.

The call will be traced.

There's a way.

They have a daughter, Kate.

She doesn't live with them.

What can I do for you?

Nothing.

You mind if I come in?

Yes, I do.

If you're selling, we're not buying.

Well, if I were selling, you couldn't
afford it.

Hold it.

Excuse me.

I'd like to see my father.

Well, he's not here.

Mickey Dwyer.

Mickey Dwyer's your father?

Yeah.

Oh, don't look so surprised.

I happen to be a very tall dwarf.

Daddy?

Oh, Daddy.

The minute I heard what happened,
I came right up.

I'm so worried about him.

Okay, honey.

Just calm down.

You're more nervous than I am.

Kate, I want you to meet my friends.

Colt Seavers?

We met.

Howie Munson?

Hi.

Listen, what do they want with her?

We're not sure, Kate.

If they call, we might be able to find
out.

Uh, Daddy, I'd like to talk to you alone,
okay?

Okay.

Sure.

Daddy, the kidnappers called me.

Is Mom okay?

Yeah, so far.

Now, listen, I'm
supposed to bring you to a

phone booth alone at
the Mar Vista Golf Course.

We have to be there in 20 minutes.

Well, come on.

Let's go out the back.

Wait a minute.

What about the FBI?

I mean, what about Colt Seavers and all of
them?

Forget about Colt.

They want to see me alone.

That's how it's going to be.

We can't take a chance with Mom's life.

Daddy, this is too dangerous for us to do
this by ourselves.

Katie, we have to do what they ask.

Now, come on.

Well, you really shouldn't have been so
surprised about Kate.

Dwarfism, or as it's
known in medical circles,

skeletal dysplasia, is a
result of a mutated gene.

Now, Kate's normal height is simply a
manifestation of a...

Well, right now, it sounds like she's
manifesting herself out here with Mickey.

Come on.

Jody, stay by the phone.

They just turned right.

They must be headed into the park.

Where'd they go?

We lost them.

They gotta be in the park somewhere.

You sure this is the place?

I'm positive.

This is the only phone booth in the golf
course, Dad.

Hello?

Yeah, I hear you.

What have you done with my laces?

Relax.

She's fine.

Who's that woman with you?

My daughter.

Your daughter?

Who do you think you're kidding?

But she is our daughter.

Where are you?

We're right across the street.

And we can see everything that's going on.

You better not hurt my wife.

Then do what I tell you.

Walk over here, very slowly and very
quietly.

Your daughter stays where she is.

We've been spotted.

You stay here, Higgins.

Stop!

You'll k*ll them!

Howie, the jeep!

Where are the keys?

Dad's got them.

Dad's got them.

Dad's got them.

Dad's got them.

Damn!

I don't blame you for being angry with me.

Well, you should have told us when you
received the call in the first place.

I know.

I was scared.

It's my mom and my dad out there.

It's okay.

You thought you were doing the right
thing.

Cold.

I heard what happened.

It's terrible.

Good news travels fast.

There's more news.

Hicks escaped.

Escaped?

He was handcuffed to a cop.

Apparently, he slugged the officer and got
away.

We're covered, though, because you turned
him over to a legal authority.

You get your money, but... Maybe I better
have a talk with this Lieutenant Ryan.

Well, it seems that'll be a little
difficult.

He is on vacation.

Why is a cop on vacation making a bust at
the airport?

Colt, you were at the airport?

Yeah.

Just before Lacey was
grabbed, this guy I know

wanted Mickey to pick
up a package at the airport.

Do you think there could be a connection?

I don't know, but we're gonna find out.

Terry, use your contact at the department.

See what you can find out about Lieutenant
Ryan.

Absolutely.

I'll see what I can do.

Take your hands off my wife!

Come on.

Come on in there.

Come on.

Come on.

Why are you putting me in with them?

We don't want you wandering the streets.

You might get lost.

I'm sorry, dear.

You gotta believe me.

I didn't think they'd do this.

No.

Big man!

Do you know what's going on?

They took me to the airport and shoved me
down into a vent.

There's some kind of package they want
down there.

Did you get it?

I couldn't.

It's wedged in around a bend in the pipe
and I'm not strong enough to pull it out.

That's okay.

Just sit down.

Mickey, no matter what happens,
I love you.

I always have.

I love you too, honey.

Mickey, all we have to do is get the
package and we're out.

Oh, you jerk.

There's no way we can get out of here
alive.

We've seen them.

We can identify them.

If I do it or I don't, we're dead.

Mickey, I'm scared.

I'm scared.

I'm scared.

Yeah, well, what else, Terry?

Well, it seems that Ryan is under
investigation by the police internal security.

They suspect he's involved in dealing
drugs.

An off-duty cop investigated for drug
dealing and now kidnapping?

Thanks, Terry.

Oh, well, you're entirely welcome.

Goodbye.

It seems like I interrupted a drug drop at
the airport.

That makes sense.

Do you remember Sherlock Holmes,
The Sign of the Four?

Kid, this is not the time to discuss
literature.

No, no, no, the plot.

They used a very small
man to get into a place

where an average-sized
person couldn't go.

Well, that's why they needed my folks.

Right.

Let's get to the airport.

Kid, you get back to the set.

You're doing a stunt with Jody today.

Yeah, but I want to go... Kid!

Come on, I wouldn't stiff you.

I'll have it by the time you arrive.

All right.

Let's move it.

I think we ought to wait for nighttime.

We don't have time to wait.

Our friends are arriving in a few hours
for the pickup.

If we don't have the cocaine, heads are
gonna roll.

Ours.

Now, let's go.

Colt, just what are we gonna do at the
airport?

Well, the only place Hicks had time to
hide the stuff was in the warehouse.

Somewhere just big enough for me to fit
through, huh?

You got it.

Colt, there's something I've been wanting
to ask you.

Why are you doing all of this?

Because my friends are in trouble.

Isn't that enough?

Yeah, it's enough.

It's just... Well, it's just that I'm
surprised that you're that close to them.

Why?

Because they're different from me?

I didn't mean that.

I'm beginning to think you're ashamed of
your parents.

That's not true.

It's only because all their lives they've
been treated as outsiders.

Not by everybody, Kate.

Maybe it's the way you've been looking at
them.

Park it over there and stay with the
truck.

Okay.

Well, look, Colt, what else can I do to
help?

Cross your fingers.

Cross my fingers.

Okay.

What do you want?

How about a beer?

One beer or... Beer, Doc.

Let's try this one.

Okay.

You want to give it a shot?

Yeah, I hope this one doesn't end up in
the furnace.

They're no dope but a great show.

They'll sell tickets in there.

George, stay with her.

Mickey, you're coming with us.

Oh, 15 pounds of cocaine?

Five million dollars.

Seven million!

And it's addressed to me.

Funny, I thought it was addressed to
Occupant.

Hand it over, Seavers.

And no games.

Remember, we got Lacey.

Anything happens to us, she's dead.

I'm sorry, baby.

Forget it!

Just forget it.

Let's get out of here!

Hey,

what the hell are you doing?

Catch that car, please!

You've got five thousand bucks if you
catch that car!

Come on, fellas, we're gonna have some
fun.

Mickey's got the stuff!

Faster, Kate, faster!

I'm doing the best I can, Colt!

Mickey, jump in!

I can't get close enough, Colt!

I think I better take over.

I think so, too.

Colt, what are you doing?

Calm down!

Nothing like getting rid of a little
trash.

Okay?

I'm fine.

Mickey, it's now or never!

I think you're right, Colt!

Stay put, Parker!

Stuff's all mine!

Daddy, get in here!

Come on!

Nice friends you made.

Hang on!

Dammit, Colt.

Why did you have to interfere?

Mickey, what happened at the airport?

Where's Lacey?

Don't stop me from saving her.

Dad, Colt saved your life.

But what about Mom?

You think I'd let anything happen to
Lacey?

And those people are dangerous,
Dad.

So... The only way to handle
them is to outsmart them.

But how?

Well, we've got a 15-pound bargaining
chip.

Colt, you're trading with my wife's life.

Why the hell couldn't you let me do it my
way?

Because you both would be dead.

That's why.

Dad, maybe we should listen to him.

He might be right.

But what if he's wrong?

Okay, Colt.

This is your show.

Just make sure it has a happy ending.

Time's running out.

I know all about it.

Colt Severs.

If you want the lady back, we got a deal.

I want her back.

What's the deal?

Leave the package in the trash container
at Woodley and 7th.

After I pick it up, I'll call and let you
know where she is.

No way.

Look, I have to see Lacey alive and well.

We make this an even exchange.

My way or no way.

Forget it.

Well then, there's no deal.

Hello?

Hello!

Hello!

They hung up.

They wanted to make a deal.

Mickey, you have to believe Colt knows
what he's doing.

They'll call back.

They have to have the cocaine.

God, I hope you're right.

Wait a minute.

You're gonna make the trade with Seavers?

Even though he can identify us?

It's not gonna do him any good if he's
dead.

Along with his friends.

Yes, sir.

I want the trade.

It won't work.

Why not?

Because we can identify all of you.

You won't let us out alive.

Seavers, I've got seven million writing on
this deal.

I also have a back door out of this
country.

I don't care who you tell.

All right, we do it this way.

Uh-uh.

Here's how we do it.

Go back to the warehouse near the airport.

We make the switch and I take off.

At four.

Exactly.

Understand?

Not a minute later.

At four.

Yeah.

Now, put the g*n down.

Put Mickey Dwyer on.

He wants to talk to you.

How's Lacey?

Her health depends on you.

I made the deal with Seavers.

So no cops, no feds, nothing.

Or no wife.

Ryan said we have to do it his way.

He agreed to let me handle it,
Mickey.

But the plan's been set, Colt.

No matter what he says, he means to k*ll
us.

If that harder meaning is not acceptable,
he'll never join us on this.

Or maybe I will be a trigger, There's a
embarrassed look on your face.

Is that God seriously wants to k*ll you?

But he doesn't want to k*ll me.

Just out of respect, Don't worry.

I'm not making a movie.

We can hover at 5,000 feet and count the
hares on a fly's leg at sea level.

I see what you mean.

Phenomenal.

He's not here.

He will be.

But we're late.

Only two minutes, Mickey.

All right, Tommy, this is your spot.

You nail Sievers.

All right, we'll keep in touch by walkie
-talkie.

I don't want to leave anything to chance.

I've got too much writing on this score.

Have I ever let you down?

Tommy, do you see anything?

Nothing yet.

I'll maintain altitude.

You think he might not show?

He's already six minutes late.

My bet is he paid for the cocaine up
front.

If he doesn't deliver, he's got trouble.

You're wearing glasses?

Hey, don't worry.

I never miss.

You're going to try to k*ll us all,
aren't you?

What kind of person are you?

Kinda takes what he can get.

Colt, something's wrong.

They'll be here.

They've got to.

Take us lower.

Did you see something?

I'm not sure.

There he is.

Do you think it's gonna work?

Think of it as a stunt.

Think positive.

Let's go.

the the the

Dad, mom's okay.

Take it easy, Mickey.

You ready?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Hold it!

What are you trying to pull, Seavers?

I told you nobody else.

Who is that?

It's my assistant.

She's got the cocaine with her.

I don't like this.

Had to make sure you weren't pulling a
fast one.

Tommy, check out that truck.

See if there's anybody with her.

She's alone.

We'll make the trade simultaneously.

All right.

I got a sn*per.

On top of the South Industrial Building.

Near the corner.

Roof of South Industrial Building.

Move back to the truck, lady.

Okay, let's do it.

All right.

I don't like the payment plan.

My God, Cole.

Don't argue with him now.

We gotta get Lacey back.

There's another one on the roof opposite.

One on roof across the way.

Go!

Lacey, honey, are you all right?

I'm fine.

All right, have your reunion.

You know you're all heart.

It took a long time coming.

Not a nice way to treat your business
partners.

Hey, we did it, Cole!

We did it!

How'd you like that?

Not bad for shorties, eh?

Hey, you're the biggest fan.

The best guys I ever worked with.

Let's get some coffee.

Hey, sounds like a good idea.

It's been a while since we've worked
together, Colt.

Yeah.

Colt, you're someone we see eye to eye
with.

Great from over here, honey.

If Lacey liked it, it had to be perfect.

She's my severest critic.

Don't listen to my husband.

He knows I think everything he does is
wonderful.

Oh, by the way, guys.

You can either come
to our basketball game

Thursday night or watch
us play on television.

You guys play basketball?

Yeah, we have a team called the Hollywood
Shorties.

Yeah, we play for different charities and
at halftime at the pro games.

We raise a lot of money that way.

We raise a lot of eyebrows, too.

There's that number three quarters.

He's been tearing up the court again with
his incredible ball handling.

He's at the baseline.

He fires up a 20-footer.

It's good!

Oh, my, what a shot.

That makes it 17 to 9 with a short ball.

The shorty's in the lead.

Okay, the Laker girls coming up court.

Oh, there's a steal!

Yep, the Shorties have the ball again.

These guys are incredible.

Looking again, another long outside.

He, he hits it.

That's what I call spirit.

That's what I call basketball.

Let me tell you that.

Boy, this program is fantastic.

It does a great job for the little people
and everybody puts on a fantastic show.

Well, the Hollywood
Shorties were founded

more than eight years
ago by a George Reseda.

He's got a range in height anywhere from 3
-foot-6 inches tall to 4-foot-8.

There's another steal.

That's number three-quarters again.

He chases it down in the corner.

All right, Shorties, suck it to him.

What's he gonna do?

It's back to him.

He fires.

It's long this time.

Yeah, the Shorties are gonna win.

Uh-uh, sorry, Howie.

The women have it all over them.

No way.

These guys are playing like pros.

Ha, they have an advantage.

What advantage?

Well, when they dribble, the ball doesn't
have to go as far.

Now, every time the opposing team shoots
the ball and hits the backboard or rim,

the ball's gotta bounce on the floor
before it can be rebounded.

The Shorties are gonna whip the pants off
the Laker girls.

Yeah, I know a lot of people like to see
that kid.

You're back.