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03x24 - When You Hear the Beep

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Small Wonder". Aired: September 7, 1985 – May 20, 1989.*
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Chronicles the family of a robotics engineer who secretly creates a robot modeled after a human girl, then tries to pass it off as their adopted daughter, Vicki.

03x24 - When You Hear the Beep

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

Jared hey J what's this nothing not a

thing except that no who is that her

name is Brandi Ross she's 13 and she

started school yesterday great and she

has a boyfriend named Tyrone who can

reduce you to bite-sized chunks for

my face I'll take my chances

Brandi doesn't know it yet but she's

about to crumble to read you power well

then you better make it fast she can't

hold much more water

my motto is rappin and trap I'm just

gonna slide up tour say hey dump me a

fool

stick with race cuz I'm smooth and cool

yes are you okay oh come back when you

learn how to talk see it smooth and cool

what happened to your edge I don't know

I looked at her just get those big soft

brown eyes said you calves I just can't

explain it it's like something suddenly

took my breath away

maybe your shorts are too tight no Jamie

is love for the first time in my life

I'm in love again but am I such a

numbskull

I'm not gonna do well you can tell her

yeah but what if I get cold feet again

well stay away from her isn't gonna warm

them up don't you call her over the

phone when you're not looking into our

big brown cow eyes

I can't even do that but folks grounded

me from using the phone I'm not grounded

why don't you tell me what you want to

say to her and I'll tell her I'll ban

your message service and then she can

leave a message

hey that's a good idea Jamie you're a

real pal hey what are pals for that'll

cost you a buck you know you can make a

fortune from all this however our class

is drawn it from using a phone yeah

how's the class huh

all I need is a phone answering machine

and I got that Vicky

you'll be my phone answering machine and

we're gonna be rich what do you say to

that maybe your shorts are too tight

[Music]

the laundry is put away oh thanks Viki

oh they're just doing me some good it's

important for a woman to keep her

chassis classy you want to give it a try

I'll try

it's not moving oh you have to jump up

and down Vicky jump up and down nicely

to drop in Vicky I've got to keep my

chassis classy I was just showing Vicky

how to use the trampoline how's your day

honey

not as good as my nights gonna be come

here not in front of the it K that means

me backwards well he said changing the

subject huh I ran into mr. Jennings

today oh the president of your company

no his son Harold the future president

and so I invited him and his wife over

for dinner tomorrow night

can't hurt to play a little office

politics understand sure oh you know

actually I like Harold his wife Cynthia

I can't stand she's always walking

around with her nose up in the air like

she's smelling something and what she's

smelling is us

can I have something to nibble on before

dinner how about some carrot sticks how

about an ear in front of the egg kay

[Music]

hi binky

where's Jamie he's in his room doing his

homework oh well I won't disturb him

give him this book for me please

Cyrano de Bergerac it's so romantic

all about a poet with a big nose he's

madly in love with a beautiful girl

Roxanne but the poet is too embarrassed

to tell the girl he loves her like would

Jamie me like Jamie and you yeah he

doesn't have a big nose but he says I'm

always sticking mine into other people's

business

Thanks I'm hoping if you read it he'll

get up enough courage to confess his

love for me just in case I crossed out

the word Roxanne on every page and wrote

in Harriet

you should read the book to Vicki okay I

just read it

that's impossible

anyway as Cyrano said thy name is like a

golden Bell hung from my heart and as

Jamie said get lost Harriet Jamie's

message service please leave your

message at the sound of the beep just

from the seventh grade alone if this

keeps up I'll be able to buy this

seventh grade you can play back that

last message Vicki tell Brandi I'm going

with my folks tomorrow so I won't be

able to meet at 10:00 in the schoolyard

yo

thank you an idea Vicky what if brandy

goes to schoolyard to meet Tyrone but I

send Reggie instead what do you think

I think if Tyrone finds out you'll be

the bite-sized chunks Tony what's going

on I've been trying to phone you for

over an hour and the lines been busy who

have you been talking to myself

shopping for tonight's dinner with the

Channing's that's why I was trying to

call you they had to cancel out oh I

couldn't be more disappointed I guess

the phone was out of order

I guess it isn't what was wrong

Jamie's message service

no wonder the phone was tied up well I

got a message for him the phone's gonna

be okay he's gonna be out of order

Jamie's message service please leave you

message at the sound of the beep

[Music]

answering machine well leave and there's

a Gerald surely you can handle that

without my help

right hello Ted this is Harold Jennings

it looks like Cynthia and I can make

dinner tonight after all

we'll be over at 7:00 hey Harold goodbye

Harold

we're looking forward to it who didn't

have to say we were looking forward to

it Harold we don't want them to start

thinking they're our equals

I'd like Ted and John and so do I after

a fashion always remember that you are

the boss you are the man in charge say

it Harold I am the man in charge

good now go finish ironing my blouse

what's all this about Jamie's message

service it's our new business we take

messages for the kids who are granted

from using the phone want to leave a

message it'll cost you a buck Janey you

tied up the phone for over an hour

what if there was an emergency and don't

you realize you're helping these kids

disobey their parents really now that

you put it that way maybe I'm not

charging enough you're not gonna be

charging them anything you're out of

business and you're grounded from using

the phone until further notice no buts

if you want to save yours

I don't want you taking or plane back

any more messages in fact erase all

those messages from your bubble memory

module oh I know message just came in

dad I don't know it was I don't care if

it was et phoning home a key just

between us

who is that last message from I forgot

jams Auto Sales be 1:09

I still say it was a good idea Vickie

but I guess we're out of the phone

business for good I loved you ever since

one night when a voice that I never

would have known under my window

breathed your soul to me can you just

say a simple hello don't you have a

romantic bone in your head turkey Rock

didn't give you the book I gave the

turkey the book yeah great book I used

to squish a spider then tell me I'm the

most desirable enchanting creature on

earth but I'll settle for frecklehead

I'll give you one thing Harriet you sure

are persistent I sure am NOT going to

give you just 24 hours to read a book

Amy but what if I don't then I'll give

you 48 hours

[Music]

and voila lei speciality de la maison

pepperoni pizza adventurous for you I'm

so glad that Jenni's canceled dinner

tonight I am just gonna relax and pamper

myself

don't I get any pampering you got it

give me your foot I'll show you how the

other half lives

oh no no come on ma'am real men don't

polish their toenails real men let them

grow and use them to spear buffalo head

we're two consenting adults in the

privacy of our own home hand over that

foot well you still respect me in the

morning why not you look good as a

brunette and a blonde

I can take it back if you don't like it

well gee honey I don't know I'm so used

to you the way you are I mean what if I

suddenly came home as a redhead of your

nose and exploding pants

yeah I look like Orphan Annie with

eyeballs do you think it's too busy with

my outfit

[Laughter]

mrs. Jennings we weren't expecting you

[Applause]

daddy warbucks oh please please come in

come in I left it on your answering

machine

answering machine Vicky what is that

odor do you use a garlic deodorant it's

pizza pizza oh I love pizza what kind is

this oh if it's pepperoni go ahead and

have some oh I can't

Cynthia won't let me eat any food that

ends with Tony you know I hate to see

cheese dangling from the end of your

nose there's been a mix-up about this

evening

yeah listen why don't we what we'll go

change and we'll take you out to dinner

we were just relaxing and fun well I'm

sure that you two do the same never just

once though I'd like to kick off my

shoes like you Ted and put my feet up

and bite into a great big pizza Herald

control yourself for once Cynthia I

don't want to control myself I want some

pizza Harold if you touch that box I'm

leaving

I'll wait for you in the car and if I

smell pizza on your breath you're

sleeping on the sofa tonight I'm really

sorry about this Harold why don't worry

about it heaven this makes the whole

evening worthwhile

no no just enough to keep me on the sofa

thanks for everything

can I use some of your cotton ba*ls

please for your toes no for my ears

[Music]

hi Reggie I was just I've got it all

worked out for you to get together with

brandy this morning at the schoolyard

what's your talk my Jamie she's

expecting to meet Tyrone but you're

going to show up instead numbskull oh

man

you know happens when I say brandy she

makes me crazy I can't talk my Chiefs

stick to my teeth what can I say that

wasn't sounds stupid you could say your

name is like a Golden Bell huh in my

heart and when I think of you I tremble

and the bell swings and rings

[Music]

that's Wow would you get that from Vicky

Sara no de Bergerac a book about an ugly

guys who tells his handsome friend what

to say to win the heart of a beautiful

girl

hey man see your problem reg how's that

well Brandon needs a beautiful girl and

here the handsome friend hey yeah

and you're the ugly guy so what's the

plan well I haven't read the book but

Vicky has she'll be fair though and tell

you what to say right Vicky what you

talk about Jamie

and will behind right here red so if you

get into trouble come on over to the

drinking fountain for a drink think

he'll tell you what to say okay what do

I say first Vicki a kiss the word is

sweet

what will the deed be a kiss the word is

sweet

but with the deed be I elipse afraid

even if it's burning name are your lips

afraid giving of it's burning name got

it

there's yes go get a pal

you're the one with the speech problem

well uh do you want your Jesus wheat and

don't be afraid to bring your lips what

I need some water

[Laughter]

Vicki can visit of the line shall my

eyes drink the side of you like wine

with a look that is a kiss

got it are you okay what were you saying

I've got why do my eyes and not the side

of you and kiss my drink

I need some more water I blew it again

they kick it from another line do you

begin to understand me a little can you

feel my soul there in the darkness

breathe on you hope I got it do you mind

telling me what is going on brendi did

you begin to understand me a little can

I breathe on your soul while you filming

a darkness

what are you saying I have no idea

excuse me look I demand to know what is

going on Oh God

[Music]

what he's trying to say is that he's in

love with you but he can't look into

your cow eyes without making me breathe

really well why didn't you ever tell me

this Reggie

because his cheeks stick to his teeth

well nobody's ever talked to me like

that before Reggie

tell me morn you're a weird little way

um duh Walker

why not I guess her run isn't showing up

hey when you got it how you got it well

it looks like everything turned out okay

thanks to Cyrano and you Vicky

hey when you get it how you got it

[Applause]

[Music]