02x19 - Victor/Vicki-toria

[bunniefuu]

foreign

[Music]

and she'll make your heart

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

microchips here and there she's a smart

Wonder

everywhere

[Music]

we got ourselves a ball game today folks

Squires to the wind up

swinging a mess

never strikes out to retire at the side

three up three down wow did you see that

Vicky I saw that what a fastball I can

throw a fastball like that

dad's gonna k*ll us

we should get dressed up night so we'll

look good for the funeral

Jamie

Jamie Vicky find out what that pest

wants I'll get the ball

okay can the incredible Funk come out

and play

the pets wants to know if the incredible

hump can come out and play

tell her I'm busy

The Hunt is busy

that's okay I'll come in and play

Vicky that's the last time I called on

you for Pest Control

what you're watching the baseball game

I wish you catch spring fever said a

baseball fever

Harriet I gotta watch to watch this and

pick up some pointers my baseball team

starts practice next week and I'm the

catcher

I'll watch with you a woman should

always be interested in what her man's

doing

Harry do you mind sitting someplace else

anything to please my man

Cleveland would be better

teach me about baseball Jamie

sure

you know what they mean when they say

you're out I'm not sure

I'll show you

now watch closely

you're out

you know what you look like

you look like a pack of bubble gum

chew on it Ted

So Jamie you ready to go to the ballpark

for a little practice huh I've been

ready all winter

Reggie's gonna meet us there damn look

at the door

all right what happened to the door and

don't try to tell me termites well a

termite named Vicky but I guess it's my

fault as much as hers

we should get dressed up nice so we look

good for the funeral

look on the bright side Ted now we've

got a pass-through window for cookies

well Jamie just be more careful what you

tell her all right okay let's get going

you too Vicky you're gonna learn all

about baseball I already know about

baseball oh is that so I'll show you

now watch closely

you're out

[Music]

hey Reggie hi hi

you know if you guys play really hard

this year maybe you can finally beat the

mug lumps and go all the way to the

championship Championship I set up for

next to last place for once

stuck up the bar part

yeah so many teams watched all over us

our mascot was the doormat and our

sponsor gave up on us we don't even have

uniforms this year well maybe you could

talk to the president of your company

Ted United robotronic sponsors lots of

Youth projects that's a good idea honey

okay let's start with a little batting

practice Reggie you hit Jamie you catch

and I I will pitch wait till you see my

world famous Fernando ball Fernando

Valenzuela no Fernando Lamas

it looks marvelous darling you really do

you really do

that really stunk up the ballpark

yeah that you haven't played a long time

don't overdo it relax Joni I'm in great

shape once a jack always a jacket

can I play

yeah sure honey uh

yeah why don't you take this and go to

the Outfield and shag some flies oh that

sounds like fun

can I put this on my hands

oh Vicky let's go over there and stand

out of the way

come on Mr Lawson Give Me Your Best Shot

think you can handle it hey my dad

didn't name me Reggie for nothing when I

come to the plate The Crowd Goes Reggie

Reggie Reggie

glaze it on in here okay here comes my

Fernando fastball

[Laughter]

are you okay

I think I threw something out

dad what happened I think I pulled a

muscle where

everywhere even my hair hurts

I think I better take you home

okay kids I'll be back by dinner time

okay okay hope you feel better Dad me

too

maybe an ice pack will help I had a

better idea put my whole body in the

freezer

what do we do now Jamie there's no way

here to pitch hey maybe Vicky can pitch

to us hey girl pitch are you kidding

oh what have we got to lose besides hi

I've sort of been working with her

it's a waste of time

Vicky

remember that picture you saw on

television this morning

I remember well I want you to throw the

ball just like he did as hard as he can

got it

got it

come on Vicky

you can at least get the ball to me

[Applause]

strike one beginner's luck she can do

that again a million years thanks so

do it again Vicky I'll meet this time

slow it down for Reggie Reggie

slow it down for Reggie Reggie

foreign

[Music]

there's no way she can strike me out oh

no

Vicky

show him a curve

[Laughter]

let's try three four five and six you're

out twice

[Music]

I don't believe it Vicky you're the best

pitcher I ever saw

[Laughter]

wow wow I'm sorry honey you should have

listened to me your body isn't in the

same shape it was 20 years ago my body

isn't in the same shape it was 20

minutes ago

well I think you better limit your

involvement with Jamie's baseball team

with finding the sponsor for it

yeah why don't I call the president of

my company right now

do you think you should bother him at

home on a Sunday he won't mind Bob's my

buddy I mean we are like this

[Music]

Bobby all right Ted here

that Lawson now listen how would United

robotronics like to sponsor a kids

baseball team

Lawson

one of your engineers

law sln

well it was just a thought you know

well if you insist sir

I will never ever call you again at home

on a Sunday

okay

like this huh

I meant to this is me

man Vicky really knows how to throw a

baseball

so bad we don't have someone not to make

a pitch like her yeah we could finally

beat the mugwumps the mug wants we could

beat the Dodgers

hey why can't Vicky pitch for us

because coach Simpson will allow girls

on the team you know she's a girl I know

she's a girl but coach Simpson doesn't

know she's a girl

that's a dumb idea

but without Vicky we're getting buried

again how are we going to convince the

coach she's a boy

piece of cake

it's goodbye Vicky hello Victor

[Music]

still trying to find a sponsor for

Jamie's team yeah this is harder than I

thought

hi my name is Ted Lawson I was wondering

if you'd like to sponsor a kids baseball

team they're a wonderful bunch of kids

uh-huh

I see I

well I'll keep that in mind yeah thanks

anyway

who were you calling oh is uh Wally's

Delicatessen he says they can't sponsor

us but for opening day he'll donate a

baseball made out of chopped liver and a

bat made out of a kosher pickle

[Music]

hi yeah Jamie's in his room thanks

hey Reggie hi Mr Lawson keep trying to

find a sponsor Ted

you'll see say hello to the baseball

team's new strikeout King come on out

Victor

[Laughter]

it's not bad

it's not bad

she's a closet boy

there is no way the coach is gonna look

at her and suspect she's a girl

yeah but looks on everything to give

herself away the first time she walks up

to the pitcher's mouth and you know how

girls walk

I see what you mean

I have to learn how to walk like a jock

watch me

[Music]

you call that a walk watch the master

you gotta walk cool

foreign

I see what you mean you also have to

talk like a jock listen closely yo after

practice let's cruise your cave some

actions stood

why did you slap him on the behind

the tracks do that all the time on TV

yeah of course when a jock talks to a

girl it's different

he didn't slap a girl on the behind only

if you want a fat lip

a jock has to talk smooth to the ladies

like this

hey sweet cheeks what's shaking with the

little Mama's bacon

hi Kimi hi Reggie we're busy Harriet

who's the new job

you mean you don't know ah but he's cute

well this is our cousin Victor hi Victor

hey sweet cheeks we're shaking with the

little Mama's bacon

okay you're my kind of guy

Jamie if you don't treat me nice I may

have to dump you for Victor remember to

the victim of the spoils

well there's nobody more spoiled than

you Harriet what

goodbye Harriet

see you later Victor

all right now if we can fool Harriet we

can fool anyone we just gotta be careful

that my folks don't find out

we're in this together right right

anytime you need me I am here kids

I am gone

[Laughter]

why is Vicky dressed like that

I'm not Vicky I'm Victor the new

strikeout King Victor

and sweet cheeks shaking with the little

Mama's bacon

boy are you gonna howl when you hear

this

you may howl after I hear

well you see I dressed Vicky up to look

like a boy because coach Simpson doesn't

allow

Grim tryouts this Saturday and with

Vicky on the team we're sure to win the

championship

forget it Vicky go change your clothes

it's goodbye Victor hello Vicky

Jamie how could you think of doing such

a thing

would be fair to have a robot on the

team how would you feel winning the

championship getting the trophy getting

a picture in the paper all that

publicity knowing that you cheated

I could live with that

Jamie it's not with you win or lose it's

important it's how you play the game

but we play it so badly

we can't win without Vicky Jamie winning

the championship isn't a matter of life

and death

you're right Dad it's much more

important than that

[Music]

I've got one more picture for you to try

out this is my cousin Victor higher

Victor

yeah after practice let's cruise the

arcade for some actions

great sense of humor huh you should see

us pitching he's fantastic well he

doesn't have to be fantastic to be on

this team all he's got to do is reach

home plate and one bounce or less

how could you better than that coach

even I can't get a hit off Victor it

doesn't tell me much Reggie

all right Victor going out to the mound

and show me what you got

show you what I've got

all right

as hard as you

get as hard as I can

a little fastball

's not even his best pitch coach where

do you see his curve that I Gotta See

oh

no I don't believe it I thought just so

coach come on in Victor

it's a miracle I've been wasting my

whole life for a picture like this

Victor you're gonna take us to the

championship we'll make jumps of the mug

once

[Laughter]

he's a she

uh yeah coach Victor's rolling my sister

Vicky

I thought he walked a little funny

I only dressed her up to look like a boy

because of your rule about no girls on

the team dummy that only applies to

girls they don't throw the ball 90 miles

an hour you mean Vicky can be on the

team are you on the team she is the team

I hope I'm doing the right thing

just as I thought a little stinker

brought Vicky down here when I

specifically told him not to sure wants

to win badly okay Vicky get back out on

that mound and show me what other

pitches you can throw what other

pictures I can throw

Jamie there isn't a team in the league

that can beat us now Vicky is our secret

weapon

yeah right

Jamie how could you even think of doing

such a thing

I have a robot on the team how would you

feel knowing you're cheated

uh coach

could you hold it a second I have to

talk to my sister sure kid Vicky change

in plans remember the other day when Dad

threw his famous Fernando ball it looked

marvelous darling simply mom

right listen closely

got it got it

okay

let's go Vicky knock me down again

[Applause]

oh Tim Vicky's hurt honey robots can't

get hurt don't you see what happened

Jamie programmed Vicky to imitate what

happened to me last week

our son's conscience got to him what's

the matter honey where does it hurt

[Music]

it's got a glass arm what we need is a

pitcher with a mechanical arm

hang in there coach they'll soon have

robots pitching

Mom Dad

you don't have to Jamie we saw what you

did and we're proud of you

straighten up Vicky

well Vicki be okay okay yeah but we

won't we're back to finishing in last

place again yeah but you'll be the best

looking losers in the league what do you

mean well I got a sponsor for your team

here are your new uniforms huh

black uniforms well you're uh your

sponsor insisted on it

Mortuary

it's perfect

without me you're going to be dead and

buried again

[Applause]

thank you

[Applause]

Jesus

[Music]

[Applause]

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foreign

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