02x22 - The Cat's Meow

[bunniefuu]

Lemon Pie

you write your eggs

Oh Thank You Vicki these eggs are fried

and I I wanted them my scrambled now

they're scrambles it's much better Vicki

you can wipe your hands okay Thank You

Vicki just for that you can do my

laundry and remember this time the

starch goes in my shirts not my shorts

bye James

bye no honey something just occurred to

me here you're trying to make Vicki as

close to a human child as possible and

because she's never had a friend or a

toy to play with like Jamie's head well

you're right honey that's a good point I

have no friends or toys of course one of

these days she just might have a new

sister to play with No

is there something I should know no

there's something you should do

hurricane Bonnie I'm blowin out before

she blows in oh I'm about to make a

banana cream pie I'm wondering if I

could borrow a cup of sugar oh sure and

a cop all right and some cream cream and

a few bananas sorry we have no bananas

oh you have lemon Oh Vicki what's new

one of these days I just might have a

little sister to play with you don't

understand I think I feel it moving I'm

not expecting a baby I just overheard

Ted and I saying that maybe someday we

might like to have one and she just

misunderstood that's all oh well if I

were you I'd tell people I was expecting

till I lost that time

Rony here's your things okay oh do you

happen to have a recipe for a lemon

thyme it just so happens that I make an

fantastic lemon pie Oh wonderful why

don't you make it and call me when it's

done

[Music]

[Laughter]

A Surprise

Vicky did you pack him all the crumbs

off the couch I'll accept the one

reading the book I resent being called a

crumb by a crummy robots hi what's in

the box dad a surprise yes Vicky I

brought you your very first toy good

idea Ted I wish I'd thought of that just

what she's always wanted a dead cat it's

electronic it's battery-powered huh

where do you see this thing work and it

responds to voice commands just like

Vicky watch this watch this

[Laughter]

[Music]

no Jamie on account it's it's got wheels

I can roll over I don't have wheels

Vicky stop showing off me on occasion

[Music]

gesture I've always wanted a dead cat I

didn't know better I'd say that she did

that on purpose it like she's jealous of

the cat yeah exactly but she's a robot

how can I have hunk of plastic and wires

be jealous sure she could be jealous if

somebody mistakenly programmed her to be

well how do you mean - well remember

back when I first brought Vicky home we

had quite a case of jealousy around here

yeah he was a pain in the neck

not Vicky you you were jealous because

Vicky was getting all the attention you

said nobody loves me at your party or

loopers earlier hmm and you even

pretended to run away from home the

point is Jamie you programmed her and

now under the same set of circumstances

she's imitating your jealousy this is

fantastic

this is the first case of sibling robot

rivalry

[Music]

come on we don't want to be late for

dinner with the Gilbert man honey can't

we get out of it no wasted evening I

mean the Gilberts are so whoa I've been

making excuses to them for a whole year

yeah let's make it two wait wait wait

Jamie come here

yeah dad listen I hate to leave Vicky in

the middle of her first emotional crisis

so I want you to keep a close eye on her

sure keep playing with the cat and watch

Vicki's reactions if she does anything

unusual phone me up the Gilberts and

I'll rush right home okay and if she

doesn't do anything unusual call me at

the Gilbertson I'll rush right home

matter honey can't you take a joke why

don't we play now I've got it kitty

chase your tail

deal the cat's cuter Nikki do you want

to play with kitty

yes I'm having my first emotional crisis

[Laughter]

you've turned into a crazy jealous robot

now go away before you really do ruin

kitty

nobody loves me I'll do what Jamie did

I'll run away from home and the crazy

jealous robot I'm running away from home

Running Away

you are where are you running away - I

don't know I'm not allowed out of the

yard watching you why do you want to run

away from home nobody loves me nobody

pays attention to me nobody plays with

me whenever I run away from home I make

plans I make a box line sometimes they

even make reservations running away is a

last resort before you do that you

should do what I do

get your folks attention I being

obnoxious how do i dip noxious Oh lots

of plates you can have a tantrum you can

slam doors you can cry and lock yourself

in the bathroom and then there's my

favorite holding my breath like turned

blue yeah

really scares them with my red hair

white eyeballs in blue face I look like

an American flash

come with me Vicki I'm gonna help you

run away I can't leave the yard of

course you can serve yourself you're

liberated women in a few years with a

little luck you'll be able to sue for

sexual harassment on the job find you

come on okay I'm the liberated woman

Vicki Vicki Vicki man where'd she go

Vicki you've got your family right where

you want him let him sweat a little

you'll get anything you want let him

sweat a little right feeling guilty

works wonders on parents I read that in

the art of biography of Joan Rivers what

are you doing here I'm running away from

home oh my what can the problem be

is it something your mommy or daddy did

to you or to each other tell Bonnie all

the dirt

no dirt I clean it up every morning I

also vacuum the carpets and mop the

floors and dust the furniture after and

finish doing the laundry you do all that

now you hear that Turkey that is what a

good little child does for her mommy

your dish far from a camp for mrs.

friends'll don't you push me now go

ahead Vicky tell me more what else do

they make you do around the house

I also wake everybody up in the morning

and make their beds and fix their

breakfast poor little dear what kind of

monsters would make somebody do all that

housework do you have any free days mom

no no no no no you can stay right here I

even cook you a nice frozen TV dinner

okay you don't even defrost mine I'm the

only kid in Seattle after left dinner

well knock it off lamb chop poor

mistreated little waif bonbons gonna

make you all cozy and comfy now we'll

start by getting into beddy-bye and

you'll have a little nappy food before

didn't buy nappy poo with me you just

yell get your buns between the sheets

well I'm gonna read you a nice bedtime

story would you like that piggy here's

one of Harriet's books love's flaming

desire

that's my place I make notes Harriette

French is why don't you go to your

little closet and get your little

sleeping bag and put it by your little

bit and shut your big mouth hey you are

fret I'm gonna hold my breath to my face

turns blue well good because then it'll

match your other end which is going to

be black and blues don't pay any

attention to her binky you just stayed

that sweet freshest strange little girl

that you are

okay bonbon Derrick gazed at Felicia

as he stared through the window she

stepped from her bath

the Sun glistening on her read my

bedtime story later kid later

[Music]

The Gilberts

there is nobody duller than the Gilberts

did you notice that fake Picasso he was

yawning out of all three miles

Jaime wasn't even there and they put him

to sleep

I'll go carry him to his room Oh Jaime

Jaime who's this

Harriet what are you doing here I ran

away from home you didn't run far enough

Jaime here your parents must be worried

sick

hey hey hey where's Vicki I hate to tell

you this dad fit looks like Vicki ran

away from home too

what is this an epidemic Janey are you

sure I can't find her anywhere

that little traitors in my house she's

taken over my bed and my mother really

missed that bed come on honey we better

go get her

come on Harry you better come home too I

told you our Vicki was Danny so where's

my reward your reward is I'm not gonna

tie your lips in a knot little sweet

talker you

[Laughter]

Vicki what are you doing here I'm

reading character facie into a strong

mesoderm and crushed her to his heaving

chest Bonnie

[Laughter]

Derek Derek is that you Bonnie it's me

Ted she already knows yeah

come on Vicki no no no no no that's

right that's right

Vicki you poor mistreated little waif

she told me how you make her wait on you

hand and foot you how kids exaggerate

well you don't think that we believe

everything Harriet tells us about

Brandon and you do you what have you

been telling them precious

man has to be a juicy stuff just

ordinary things like when you're mad at

daddy you shrink your shoes in the

microwave no no biggie

my what a fun family Vicky let's go home

I'm a pawn this tweeted little Waifs oh

hold my breath till I turn blue stop

Vicky night Barney yeah my best to Derek

and his heaving Jess come on Vicky

[Music]

you're back

kitty I'm running away from home again

Vicky stop you don't ever have to run

away or be jealous again because we love

you much more than we do kitty don't we

that's right Vicky well kid he's just a

toy but you're a part of our family we

love you like we love Jamie yeah and

we'll never play with Kitty again he's

all yours

he's all mine

[Music]

she likes kitty looks like the beginning

of a beautiful friendship

nice kitty ham now that's what I call

putting out the cat

[Applause]

[Music]

thank you

[Music]