02x04 - Here Comes the Judge

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

oh no what's

raw oh I set the timer but I forgot to

turn on the oven oh boy there goes

dinner your father's going to growl like

a lion then he should like raw

meat wait a minute I I got an idea come

here Vicki you're an electronic m

Miracle so let's try something stick

your finger in the roast stick my finger

in the

roast now give it your full power my

full

[Music]

power well that should do it very well

done Vicki No it's medium

rare hi honey

M that roast smells great well it should

I've been sliding all day over a hot

stove to make it no

boy well Vicki did have a hand in

it no just a

finger that's enough Vicky finished

setting the

table so how was school today teacher oh

I'm having a wonderful time I wish I

could substitute for Jam's regular

teacher more often how's my robot

behaving in school you know honey I

still can't help worrying when she's out

of the house oh honey she's fitting

right in she's being programmed to act

just like all the other kids in class

great then our grand experiment is

working better than we'd hoped huh she's

becoming more human every day except she

doesn't eat at lunch of course that

cafeteria food will k*ll

you hi Dad hi Dam Mom where's the

furniture polish I want to shine up this

gavel oh it's in the cabinet next to the

oven what's a gavel for J judge always

has a gavel dad a judge you what for

short claims

court teaching Jamie's class about the

American legal system I'm turning his

seventh grade classroom into a courtroom

and then we're going to try some of the

cases of kids who have broken rules in

school clever idea what a great way to

teach kids about the law and the class

chose me to be judge because I'm Fair

smart and popular and because none of

the other kids wanted it

[Music]

well way do you hear my news I saved $50

today how'd you save the money Ed by not

getting a parking ticket you see I

parked in front of a fire hydrant but

when I came out there was no ticket on

my windshield how could you miss seeing

a fire hydrant dad well I saw it but it

was late I was on a side street and so I

just decided to take a chance you know

and I I love putting one over on those

meter maids

[Music]

Vicki I'm appointing you my official

court reporter today court reporter is

not in my bubble memory module well you

record everything you hear and you

repeat it back word for word word for

word now when I ask you when I asked you

to I didn't mean for you I didn't mean

for

you knock it off knock it

off hey man how about serving towels

with your

showers sorry Reggie but during hay

fever season my nose is quicker than my

hand so how's the honorable Judge Lawson

kind of nervous listen Jamie I got to

talk to you

before all clear it's

you boy talk about acid

rain sorry listen Jamie I got to talk to

you in private old buddy old pal sure

Warren Vicki go in class and wait for me

sure old buddy old

pal what do you want to talk about

Warren you're my true friend right right

and friends take care of friends don't

they sure good cuz I'm your first case

in court this morning judge don't worry

w*r I'll go easy on you whatever you did

thanks no buy Jamie I can't believe what

I

you can't believe what I just heard

that's not how a real judge act I've

never been a judge before I guess I'm

going to have to learn through trial and

error not funny oh you got to be tough

or they won't respect you like that

judge whopping on People's

Court yeah I'll tell you what Reggie why

don't I make you my BFF I'll be judge

wner and you can be rusty

all right we'll throw the book at him

the book we'll throw the whole library

at

him all right class let's settle down

please now by the end of the week we

should all have a better idea of how the

American system of justice Works Baya

call the court to order please okay here

ye here ye the court is now in session

the honorable Judge Jamie law presiding

All

Rise here come the judge here the the

you may

sit Vicki call the first case

please the seventh grade versus w*r and

right the defendant will take the

stand how you doing

[Music]

buddy that's how you doing your honor

buddy

you are accused of running up the down

staircase

right how about serving towels with your

showers the court will come to order

please now where were

we here ye here ye court is now in

session the honorable Judge Jamie Lawson

priding All Rise you're going

to stop

that's enough class please continue your

honor you've heard the charge Mr Enright

how do you plead oh I'm guilty your

honor buddy I throw myself on the mercy

of the Court

well running up the down staircase is a

serious

offense on the other hand nobody was

hurt think wner

on the third hand somebody could have

been hurt so when you put all the hands

together I sent you to washing dishes in

the cafeteria for 6

months way to go

whoppy your honor usually the punishment

fits the crime you're right you also

have to eat the food in the

cafeteria I think your sentence is a

little too harsh anybody else think my

sentence is too

harsh

overall next

case the next case is the seventh grade

versus Reggie Williams he's charged with

throwing water balloons off the school

roof he didn't tell me you were on the

docket what's the difference you're

going to let me off besides will watner

stick it to Rusty

but it says here there were a lot of

witnesses looks like you're really

guilty that's only because I

am what's the problem your honor oh

nothing just having our private

consultation in my

Chambers according to the evidence

you're guilty Mr Williams I have to pass

sentence unless you have something to

say in your

defense how about this I've got two

tickets to Madonna concert and one of

them has your name on

it case

dismissed all right CL be quiet I think

you better tell me what you two were

Whispering about your honor I object

objection over R court reporter will

repeat the transcript

Vicki he

come stop Vicki just the conversation

between Reggie and Jamie I have to pass

last sentence unless you have something

to say in your defense how about this

I've got two tickets to the Madonna

concert and one of them has your name on

it case

dismissed Jamie you can give me that

gavel but why because in our legal

system no one is above the law including

judges tomorrow the first case on the

docket will be the seventh grade versus

judge Jamie Lawson the charge

accepting a

bribe oh

man there go the

[Music]

judge that was a great dinner honey

great it was

fantastic it's hard to believe that a

woman's so young so beautiful so

intelligent

and she can also be a gourmet

cook it won't work your honor you still

have to stand trial tomorrow for taking

a bribe they go to

judge go to J it off Vicki dad you

wouldn't really let Mom put your own

flesh and blood on trial would you hey

don't drag me into this you'd used your

head you wouldn't be worrying about your

tail and I'm just thinking think of you

and Mom think of the shame you'll feel

when you tell everybody your only son is

breaking rocks on a chain

g*ng I tell them you're learning the

construction business from the ground

up Jamie you broke the law and you have

to pay the consequences well so did Dad

he's not paying any when did I break the

law yesterday you said I love putting

one over on those meter mates

well that's

different why do grown-ups have one set

of rules and kids another he got a point

there

Ted what do you want me to do go out and

get arrested sure we could be some

mates enough Jamie well at least you

gave me a last meal before they hang

me and we'll send a priest to

yourself Vicki I've got to convince the

court tomorrow that I didn't do what I

did or I'm in trouble they'll hang

you they're going to make hamburger out

of me unless I have someone like Perry

Mason defending me in

class Perry Mason hasn't lost a case in

836

reruns hey wait a

minute I know someone who'd make as good

a lawyer is Perry Mason you I'm not

programmed to be a lawyer you will be

once you finish reading that book mom

has the one about the great lawyers and

their famous cases you're going to save

my neck Vicki not to mention your

[Music]

tail oh meter maid uh over here please

meter maid

sir I am not a meter mid the expression

meter made went out with toots g*n mall

and 23

scoo I'm a parking enforcement

officer oh sorry about that well officer

uh I would like you to give this car a

ticket as you can see it's illegally and

thoughtlessly parked right in front of

this fire hydrant well what's the matter

does it belong to your ex-wife

no no no no this is my car your car well

as long as you're here why don't you

just move it well I will as soon as you

give me a

ticket what are you some kind of a

[Music]

nut I know it looks that way but listen

I have a very good reason so please give

me a ticket I deserve a ticket in fact I

demand a

ticket okay you want a ticket you got it

honey thank you name Ted Lawson Ted is

that an unusual name for a

nut no it's not unusual at all that's my

twoy old boy's name today is his

birthday got him a 2-year old girl with

training wheels

yeah would you like to see his picture

well uh listen I I really don't have

time and I've got it oh see handsome

little dude isn't

he yeah he sure is got a smile just like

his father no front teeth

oh yes yeah real cute uh now how how

about my ticket oh I can't give you no

ticket not to M's name sake now why

don't you just move your car are you

saying you're not going to give me a

parking ticket mhm have a nice

day I will not have a nice day unless

you give me a ticket oh you'll get over

it

honey meter made meter made meter made

meter m

just like my little teddy when he

doesn't get his

[Applause]

weight all right class let's begin

you've elected your new judge and will

abide by his decision go ahead

Vicki here ye here ye the court is now

in session the seventh grade versus

Jamie Lawson crooked

judge oh

[Laughter]

rise you really stuck it to him when you

a judge he's going to k*ll you ah don't

worry I've got Na Up My

Sleeve um you can also down now you

don't have to if you don't want to but

it'll be

nice sit

class you're on may I approach the

bench your honor isn't it true that all

people have the right to have an

attorney defend

them that's correct that's correct good

I wish to call my attorney and who is

your attorney yeah who's your attorney I

call Vicky lson for the defense

[Laughter]

okay go

ahead do what it said in the book what

it said in the

[Laughter]

book those are my glasses in my

book ladies and gentlemen of the jury

your

honor I ask you is this the face of a

man who beats his

wife wrong case Vicki then I ask you is

this the face of a man who's descended

from

monkeys forget it Vicky or is he

descended from Adam and Eve and he's the

worm in the

Apple the defendant is mentally

incompetent and the defense

rests Warren it's your turn oh right the

defendant will

rise I've heard all the facts in the

case and I find you

guilty I will now pass sentence

sentence

suspended hold it he didn't mean that

hold it I didn't mean

that what did I mean Warren you're a

judge and he's guilty but Jamie's my

friend I can't punish him hold that

thought

Warren Warren it's a judge's duty to

uphold the law regardless of his

personal feelings it is yes you're the

backbone of our legal system it's up to

you to defend truth and

Justice well in that case here it goes J

Amy Lawson I sentence you

to erase the

Blackboard

w*r and right I'll never take a bribe

again 100 times truth Warren plus two

weeks detention Justice Warren and death

by the

guiltin well I guess we can suspend the

last part thanks a lot now Jamie do you

have any anything to say yeah I'm sorry

for what I did I was wrong and I deserve

to be punished well you got off easy we

should have thrown the book at

[Laughter]

[Music]

you no

hello yeah Ted I expected you home from

work an hour ago I thought we were going

out to dinner uh Joanie when when you

hear this you're really going to laugh

remember last night we were talking

about me setting a better example for

Jamie yeah well I got the feeling so

guilty about it that today I went out

and tried to get a parking ticket you're

kidding did you get one uh no uh so I uh

I went over the police station and I

parked in the red zone out front well I

bet you got one then no I couldn't find

a cop so I uh I went inside and demanded

that they give me a ticket and then you

got one no the desk sergeant said that

wasn't his

job T that's

hysterical yeah honey it gets even

funnier so when he refused to give me

the ticket well I I told him a thing or

two about what he could do with his

job this is this is really going to make

you scream

honey can you come down and bail me

out K I can't my nails are

wet wet you you wet honey what king I'm

kiding

t t t can you hear me

[Applause]

she's a

small

Wonder lovely and bright and soft curs

she's a

small

Wonder a child unlike other girls she's

a miracle and I grant you she enchant

you at her sight she's a

Small Wonder

brings love and laughter everywhere

[Music]

[Applause]

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