01x21 - Like Father, Like Son

[bunniefuu]

you see if the water's boiling yet

Oh now would you throw out this garbage

please throw out this garbage

no I meant put it in the big can by the

garage now clean it up Vicki women from

my new husband thanks a lot Jimmy I'll

be late today mom I'm going to the

peewee league football tryouts after

school good for you Jamie

you're a chip off the old block huh what

do you mean dad well I was yeah I was

kind of a star on my high school

football team of course I don't like to

brag Vince win so what position you

going out for a quarterback like your

dad

no spectator like my mom I'm not trying

out for the team dad I'm just gonna go

watch my friend Reggie try out I'm glad

you're not gonna play football it's a

violent brutal sport yeah honey come on

it's not that bad name one good thing

about it short skirts on the

cheerleaders well Jamie why aren't you

going out for the team the ball just

doesn't interest me anymore

a loss I'm not interested in football

Ted stop pushing him who's pushing no

pressure no big deal it's up to him

meaning either goes out for the team or

rates his old man's heart and I don't

want him getting hurt that makes two of

us Connie honey kids are protected

nowadays I mean they got pads for

everything they got knee pads hip pads

shoulder pads they even have deodorant

pants come on Jamie you won't let me

down

you're a Lawson doesn't mean that much

to you dad sure it does Jamie

I'd be real proud of you okay I guess I

could give it a shot hey

Lawson's don't just give it a shot they

really go for it you know what I mean

I want you to go out there with a real

positive attitude like a tiger got it

got it well let's hear it tiger sound

like a pussycat I want to hear a real

tiger a real tiger

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

why don't know why I keep wasting my

time watching those junky soap operas

and you better off to get rid of the TV

sets get rid of the TV set yes it was my

fault I gotta watch what I say in front

of you what happened to the television

set she has to watch what she says in

front of me got the picture well I guess

we needed a new one anyway right what's

the football for you going out for the

peewee league it's a surprise for Jamie

so he can practice at home Oh Vicki come

here now your hands about the same size

as Jamie's see if you can grip it like

this grab it like that perfect fit now

make like you're throwing it like this

make like enjoying it we needed a new

one anyway

hi what's going on around here

Vicki gotcha let me go clean that up

Thanks so out of the first day of

tryouts go how'd you do huh the good

news is that most of my passes work um

well great what's the bad news they were

caught by the people sitting on the

bench

come on Jamie you had a bad day big deal

you'll get better and I bought this

football home so you can practice at

home here huh in fact why don't we go

out back right now and I'll give you

some pointers okay I don't feel much

like practicing right now dad

come on Jamie it'll be fine come on

let's go tiger okay now Jamie this will

be real good practice for you the idea

is to throw the ball through this tire

without hitting the side I'll show you

what I mean feedback lengths it's all

the resolver all the rest of very funny

Vicki you go get the ball I see Jame the

old arms a little rusty I mean after all

it's been what whoo-ha ten twelve years

since I was a quarterback in high school

your memory is a little rusty - who

asked you

Oh dad maybe I'm just not cut out to be

a quarterback what are you saying you

sound like a loser not a Lawson come on

you're not a loser like father like son

huh okay that's the spirit now Jamie

passing is the most important skill a

quarterback in half but it's not

everything scrambling is important too

right being able to fake your opponent

out sure you're right what I mean

okay Vicki you out make like you the

other team and get down like this okay

okay okay now when I give you the big

Hut you charge it me got it

okay ready what

looks like to knock down your big Hut

Jamie yeah you get the idea huh keep

practicing cheerleader outfit why are

you dressed like that

well this morning's breakfast I've

happened to hear you were going to try

out for the peewee football team how'd

you happen to hear that I have timing

ear up against a kitchen door

Harriette one of these days they're

gonna bronze your ears and put them in

the snoopers Hall of Fame oh thank you

pom-poms cute of course and I'm a

cheerleader in high school a lot bigger

pom-poms no what do you mean no I've

worked on it all afternoon you win great

if you insist

if you care about your name Jamie ready

ready here goes ha ha what about the

rest of my name they don't know how to

spell it

Larry do you know what L OST spells lost

yeah

now why don't you put a GE T in front of

it and do it

[Music]

see you guys tomorrow

how you doing son

not so great coach Simpson yeah oh sorry

I had to cut you from the team Jamie I

wish I had room for everybody but I

barely have enough uniforms for the

whole team as it is I understand maybe

I'll make the team next year

yeah I can be the tackle any dummy look

don't let it get you down son it's just

a game Hey look good out there they

Reggie keep it up okay let's told you

we'll sorry you got cut Thanks when I

made that touchdown

did you like my victory dance I did come

on let's go home

that's the one place I wish I didn't

have to go what do you mean you see my

dad expects me to be a football star

like he was how do I tell him I got cut

from the team you have to tell him

sooner or later

yeah I'm kind of leaning toward the

later like as a surprise for a 75th

birthday

[Music]

blue 47 what what what feedback he fires

[Laughter]

when I want your opinion I'll give you

one I suppose you think you could do it

better I suppose I could do it better

c*ck little robot aren't you

come ahead try anyway what happened to

the garage uh well I guess I yet mmm I I

threw the ball a little hard I forgot my

own strength you know that's not our you

forgot

so how was practice it was quite a day

I knew it you know what well your smile

tells it all you made the team first

string quarterback right I don't want to

brag modest just like me

oh gosh Jamie I'm really proud of you

congratulations

I gotta tell your mom my son the

quarterback man if I got a problem my

built-in computer is capable of solving

problems not this one

you see I didn't really make the team

your father thinks you did yeah and I

think it's best to let him keep on

thinking that so better not say anything

zip your lip zip my lip

[Music]

that's why I've been working on you care

for three days that's nice and guess

what I can do your whole name now that's

nice and guess what I know you got cut

from the football team that's not so

nice how'd you find that out here yet I

went to the field to cheer for you and

they told me Jamie how could you do

that's me I've worked my pom-pom to the

bone on there now I can't use it

but I guess that's nothing compared to

your problem oh and what problem is that

Harriette that you haven't told your

father yet hurried how'd you find that

out knowing me how could you ask a dumb

question like that you're so right

rabbit ears it it'd be a real shame if

someone told your father you got cut get

the picture now nuclear okay Harriet

what do you want well let me put this

[Music]

let me put it this way

okay Kimmy and I guess it's alright if I

tell your father the truth no wait

okay I'll take you on a date to the

movies the movies and you'll buy me

popcorn and holds my hands Harriette

melt butter on the popcorn is my hand

will slip out of yours you're pushing

your luck woman and they want you to

call me sweetie pimp there is no way

that I'm gonna call you sweetie poo Oh

pipe down

sweetie poo Oh

think you can help me with this please

separate the laundry into two piles

separate the laundry into two piles

Oh

I did it again stupid you did again

stupid hi Jamie practice okay

Jamie you're being careful aren't you I

still think that football is a very

dangerous sport don't worry mom I

planned on me hey hey hey Joe Montana

jr. come here Jamie I want to show you

this I just remembered an old high

school play

46 trap flea-flicker just writing it

down for you looks awful complicated dad

yeah maybe that's why we never used it

well you're all excited about the big

game Saturday

huh I can't wait well you don't sound

very excited what's wrong nothing's

wrong dad come on you can't fool old dad

what's wrong well I guess I should tell

you you don't have to I already know you

do

first game jitters as steady as a rock

Jamie yeah I throw with this one

so could you do me a big favor you name

it don't come to the game Saturday Jamie

you got to be kidding I was even

planning on getting there a little early

like Friday play as well sure you will

have to fun of my bean there's being

able to stick it to the other fathers

you can call them up after the game and

stick it to them in the comfort of your

own home Jamie Jamie sit down and relax

you'll be great you'll dazzle them

you'll tear them to pieces like father

like son huh yeah I can't wait to go to

that game on Saturday well I guess one

of us should be there ready to go Reggie

yeah what are you gonna doing your dad

finds out you're not playing a game

tomorrow we're gonna do this can't play

on a sprained ankle

good thinking just on time you got it

flying off the bench put on a real

pained expression on my taste like this

it'll be even better if you live on the

same foot

[Music]

you would you go into my bedroom and

dust the bureau and the nightstand yo

and the nightstands having a robot in

the family sure makes life easier easier

for you not for me honey I can't

understand this

they're evil the local paper carries the

lineups and schedules for the peewee

league home games and Jamie's name is

not on the roster huh must be an

oversight or maybe there's some

favoritism going on I won't be long

honey I'm gonna go have a little talk

with Jamie's coach hey don't be one of

those pushy football fathers who's pushy

I'm entitled to an explanation and if I

don't get one then I'll be pushy don't

forget to wear these what for maybe you

won't hit a man with glasses what

happened to your lady I kind of twisted

it in practice today I was afraid that

was gonna happen let me have a look at

oh no it's okay

the coach I redid its dad home oh you

just missed him you had to go have a

talk with your coach coach Simpson yeah

dad go mom bye your limp it's gone well

what do you know it's a miracle

thank you

[Music]

Thank You coach a Simpson yeah that's

right I mean Ted Lawson Jamie Lawson's

father oh yes how do you do what can I

do for you well I'm just a little

puzzled about something Jamie's name

isn't in the lineup for tomorrow's game

oh now I'm a little puzzled uh didn't

Jamie tell you he was cut from the team

cut that's right dad I just wasn't good

enough

I feel excuse me mr. Lawson sure you

hang in there why didn't you tell me

because I knew how disappointed you'd be

when you found out your son's a loser

Jamie you're not a loser sure I am I let

you down no you didn't Jamie you tried

your best that's all anyone can ask yeah

but my best wasn't good enough to be a

chip off the old block you mean the old

blockhead what are you talking about

Jamie I'm disappointed in myself not you

I turned into the kind of parent I've

always hated the one that pushes his kid

into something he doesn't want I was

using you to be something I could never

be a football star but you were a star

quarterback in high school weren't you

well not exactly

you mean it was alive well not all of it

and the part about being in high school

was true the other part being a football

star well I only played in one game for

two minutes yeah but you should have

heard the cheers when I left the game we

want Lawson we want Lawson that must

have made you feel good now the cheers

were coming from the other team thanks

for telling me the truth dad yeah

I feel a lot better knowing that you

were as bad at football as I am you do

yeah you were right like father like son

yeah

[Applause]

she's not small what dude lovely and

bright and soft words she's a small

wonder a child like other girls

she's a miracle and I grant you she'll

change you a new sight she's small

[Music]

[Applause]