Ah, the greatest of sporting spectacles.
The most sacred of all pastimes.
Watching the big game.
Hey! Down in front.
On these glorious occasions, there is no greater love than that between the average man and his television.
Modern sports fans, however, can fully immerse themselves in game day with a new home theater system.
The advanced technology practically puts the viewer on the field.
Gawrsh.
Ow!
A convenient trip to the neighborhood electronics boutique will fulfill all the average consumer's needs.
Here lies a high-tech wonderland, where audio-video dreams come true.
The heavenly journey begins with a few key components.
The DVD, the CD, the LD the DVR, the VCR, audio receiver, AV cables, TV tables, satellite dish with satellite, the Blu-ray, the Green-ray, the Hoo-ray, the hi-fi I-Y, HDMI, the heebie-jeebies and E equals M-C squared.
Oh! And don't forget the batteries.
Hm?
They're not included.
Selecting the proper television is of utmost importance, and there are many models from which to choose.
A conservatively-sized unit is the most prudent selection.
I love you.
Let's move on, shall we, to delivery day!
The wait is over!
Kickoff in high-definition is just a few connections away.
And any moment now, the sights and sounds of the big game will fill the home.
The delivery truck will arrive promptly, between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m.
Any moment now, the roar of the stadium crowd will reverberate 'round the room.
Any moment now, the viewer will be hopelessly lost in pure televised wonderment!
Any moment now.
Ah, right on time.
As the friendly drivers delicately deliver the electronics with their usual professional precision, one should take great care in unpacking the fragile components.
Items can shift slightly during shipping.
The enclosed instruction manuals are of great assistance to the average man.
Be sure to read all the provided literature.
After removing the audio/video cables from their consumer-friendly, hassle-free packaging...
...connect them to the appropriate cable jacks, which are conveniently located in the back.
Yeah.
Doi-de-dee-dee-da-dum-bum-bum-bum.
The modern sound system includes a multitude of speakers to provide the perfectly balanced soundscape.
The center channel...
...left and right front speakers, a-bit-more-to-the-left and a-bit-more-to-the-right speakers, surround speakers, surrounding-surround speakers, and various-overkill-to-ensureeventual-deafness speakers!
And the all-important subwoofer.
One should carefully mount each speaker in its proper yet discreet location.
Perfect!
And now, the marvel of the most modern home...
Oh! For Pete's sake, look at the time!
Huh?
The big game's starting!
Quick, quick! The remote control!
No!
Wait!
You did purchase a universal remote.
Uh-huh.
Yeah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey!
At last! Installation is complete!
It is?
Gaze upon that pristine picture.
Savor the surround sound.
It's almost like being there!
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How to Hook Up Your Home Theater (2007)
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