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Rent Free (2024)

Comedy Movie Collection.
(Buddy/Dark/Black/Parody/Screwball/Slapstick/Sketch/Satire/Spoof/Mock/Comedians/etc.)

Moderators: Maskath3, sidolanters, GabrielAlejo2341

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Comedy Movie Collection.

Rent Free (2024)

Post by bunniefuu »

(gentle music)

(low battery tone

beeping) (typing)

(phone charging tone)

What? I'm at 5%.

Where's your charger?

You're in my room

right now, b*tch.

(phone chimes)

Can you stay off

Grindr for one minute?

I haven't felt the touch of a

human c*ck for a whole week.

Leave me alone.

(phone chimes)

What do you think?

New York six, Austin ten?

Gross.

Since when are you

into older guys?

Since I'm probably

gonna need a sugar daddy

if I'm gonna live in

this expensive a*s city.

That make you Rob

and Lindsay's sugar baby?

Stop.

How about I get off Grindr

and you stop texting Anna.

We're talking about rent.

Rent. What's that?

f*ck you.

It's your last day here.

Don't you wanna do

some New York sh*t?

Barely have enough

for the Uber tomorrow.

So, haven't you

seen those TikToks

where they go a

whole day in New York

without spending money for sh*t?

Like, we could totally do that.

I don't wanna do a

TikTok challenge.

It's not a challenge.

It's our last day together.

Jordan, we're not gonna

spend money on anything, okay?

Not a single cent.

(upbeat music)

I wanna brain

I want everything

I wanna brain with

everything in it

I wanna build a bird

house in the sky

And watch capacity

Hit the limit

I wanna mine

I wanna mine (indistinct)

And I'm gonna clear

the streets of my nature

I want to walk

through the town

With not one thing

going on upstairs

I wanna go

Where everyone

is (faint lyrics)

The ferry will be

docking shortly.

(music lyrics drowned

out by subway noises)

(touch screen beeping)

I wanna heart

The exact shape and

size of a broken heart

It's gonna last forever

With room to spare

(faint lyrics)

(indistinct lyrics)

I'm gonna go to

where everyone is

And tell my friends

all the good they did

So when I'm wrong I

can look at myself

In the mirror and see

the future with your eyes

That's amazing.

Fire. Fire.

I'm honestly so surprised

at how much free sh*t

there is to do here.

Y'all should have come

to our free community event.

Oh my God.

Last week we did a

guided origami sesh.

Well, I'll come to the next one,

because you know what?

I f*cking live here now.

Yeah, you do. f*ck, yeah.

(Ben and Jordan cheering)

Well, we're only doing the

classes once a month now.

Yeah, some randos may have

been stealing our furniture.

It's all love though.

It's all love.

Man, I feel so f*cking alive.

Like, I feel like I'm not gonna

run outta sh*t to do here.

Like, I don't have to swim

and hike the same

three places on repeat.

What do you mean?

You love that sh*t.

No, but there's no

space to create there.

You know, like, there's

no community of artists

in Austin anymore.

I mean, ever since

Big Tech rolled in,

it's like there's no,

no counterculture.

- Counterculture?

- There's no f*cking culture.

The city's dead.

Dead and buried.

RIP in peace.

- Rest in pieces Austin.

- RIP Austin.

Haters.

Why don't you come

and stay J-boy?

Split the room with Ben.

Nah, I don't think

Anna would like that.

What, you don't think

she'd ever leave Austin?

Nah, she's so rooted there

with work and her friends,

I don't think she ever would.

And... I don't think

she likes New York.

- Ooooh.

- What the f*ck?

She says it makes her anxious,

and she doesn't

like the smell, so.

Rich b*tch.

I'm sorry, what's wrong

with rich b*tches?

Nothing.

No, nothing's wrong with them.

No, no, I love rich b*tches.

No, they are,

like, they're so like, good

and like, they're beautiful.

- Oh. - And, and they're like,

oh my God.

They have great skin

and they're smart,

and they're funny.

(Camera shutter snaps)

And we let our friends live

rent-free in our apartments.

I knew I was

forgetting something.

(Lindsay chuckling)

[Anna] How was your last day?

It was fun.

Me and Ben did a

bunch of free sh*t.

Rob made a cheeseboard.

[Anna] Rob made a cheeseboard?

[Jordan] (laughs) Yeah, I know.

He's like a bougie

version of himself.

It's kind of weird, actually.

[Anna] Oh, did you

pay me for rent yet?

I uh, actually wanted

to talk to you about that.

Okay.

You know, work's been

really hard for me lately,

and I'm glad we're

staying at the place,

but I just don't know if

I'm gonna make enough

for next month's rent, you know?

So you want me to

pay rent this month?

[Jordan] Do you think

maybe you could help me out?

Okay.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I just, if I couldn't

pay rent for the month,

I probably wouldn't

have gone to New York.

We got the tickets

like six months ago.

But you're spending

money while you're there.

We're not.

Rob and Lindsay have been

(whispers) Rob and

Lindsay have been paying

for like, everything.

Okay.

Well, you have to

fly in four hours

so you should probably

get some sleep.

Okay.

Goodnight.

[Anna] Goodnight.

(sighs)

I'm so f*cking stoked

you're here, buddy.

I'm getting college

flashbacks already.

Oh, do you remember senior year

when we made that

big a*s grab bong?

(laughing) Holy

sh*t. Yeah, dude.

College was such a f*cking blur.

You used to get so

horny when you smoked.

(laughs) Yeah.

Still do. Can't help it.

I was just thinking about

how we used to get so high

and you would let

me suck your d*ck

while you played Fortnite.

(coughing) Yeah, man.

That was crazy.

So, is Lindsey like cool with.

What?

I don't know, like, does

she know you used to do that?

Like, is she cool with you

doing stuff with guys?

[Rob] Yeah, man, I'm, (laughs)

I'm so f*cking high, man.

I just...

(upbeat music)

(train screeching)

(Rob moaning)

What the f*ck?

(Rob and Lindsey

arguing indistinctly)

Should I say something?

They've been talking

for like an hour.

Say what? What

the hell happened?

(wall tapping)

Uh, hey Ben, can we just talk

to you out there for a second?

He said you were cool with it.

I said she was cool with

me experimenting in college,

not doing stuff now.

Well, it sure looked

like you were fine

- with doing stuff now.

- I was confused.

I was smoking a lot of weed.

Yeah, I mean, so the

weed made you g*y?

Okay, Ben, so I just

think the main issue here is

that it's just probably

not a good idea

for you to live here.

I...

What?

It's just not the vibe anymore.

Um... I sold everything I own.

I sold my f*cking car.

I, I have literally

nothing back in Austin.

I, I just have like the two

bags in there and that's it.

He f*cking started it.

How did I start it?

You touched me on the back.

You broke the touch barrier.

f*ck you guys.

Jordan, pack your sh*t.

You could still

stay here tonight.

Ben, we're not throwing

you out onto the street.

Why would you f*cking do that?

'Cause I told you, that's

what I thought was happening.

And we used to fool around.

Ben, he's married.

So, there are plenty

of married people

who're in like ethically

non-monogamous relationships.

Don't be ignorant!

Maybe they'll

change their minds.

Are you joking?

(sobbing) I can't

live there anymore.

That was the most humiliating

moment of my entire life.

And I probably shouldn't

have said that thing

about Lindsey

being a Jew chaser.

Yeah, that was

really out of pocket.

(crying) I'm gonna to be

homeless. I'm gonna be homeless.

You're not gonna be

f*cking homeless.

[Ben] Stop shaking me.

Hey, get your f*cking

sh*t together.

It's gonna be all right.

We're gonna go back to Austin.

We're gonna f*cking

go back to the apartment,

and we'll figure

out the rest there.

I don't wanna go back to Austin.

I'd literally

rather k*ll myself.

Don't say that.

I got you. f*cking got you.

(Ben crying)

Horniest man alive

can't stay off the d*ck.

Stop.

Rob? Really?

That was my frat

boy summer, okay?

(train screeching)

(gentle music)

(car trunk slams)

I gotta sh*t.

[Jordan] Hey, um, you

could just wait outside

for a second?

[Ben] What? Why?

[Jordan] I feel like I should

probably talk to Anna first.

- [Ben] That's so psycho.

- This isn't f*cking sitcom.

[Jordan] Yeah, it's just, she

just might need some easing

into the idea of you being back.

[Ben] I gotta take

like a really big sh*t.

[Jordan] Ben, wait.

(door bursts open)

Hey.

Hi.

Did y'all go for a ride?

- Yeah.

- Hi.

Hi.

How was the move?

(Jordan sighs)

(gentle music)

That's so f*cked.

[Jordan] I know.

They just changed their minds

last night after we talked?

Yeah. It's crazy.

God, I actually

feel bad for him.

What is he gonna do?

I don't know.

Do you think maybe he

could stay here for a little bit

until he figures it out?

Yeah, that's fine.

(chewing)

Hi.

Hey.

- How are you?

- Not good.

It's really shitty.

I actually feel like Rob and

Lindsay are terrible people.

Yeah, they are.

[Anna] Did you do

something or say something?

Okay.

- Well, oh, I'm just asking.

- No, I get it.

It's always gonna

be something I did.

No, I'm not saying

it's something you did,

I just... I mean...

There is something.

That doesn't make it

okay for them to ruin my life.

[Anna] What did you do?

What did you do?

[Jordan] Rob told

Ben that they were open.

[Anna] Do you

actually believe that?

[Jordan] What?

That they're open?

Do you really not see

how f*cked up this is?

Really?

I'm not even asking

you to be cool with this.

I just need you to under... You

are asking me to be cool with

this.

You are asking me to

be cool with your friend

living in our apartment

for God knows how long.

(loud bang) (footsteps)

Where are you going?

Caleb's picking me up.

f*ck me for being vulnerable.

[Guys] f*ck New York.

(laughter)

I love New York.

Me too.

Oh, hey, no, no, no,

brother, f*ck that.

You gotta delete

that f*cking timeline

through your head right now.

It's not your life anymore.

This is your life, right now.

You're supposed to

be making me feel better.

Dude, New York's

not even that great.

It's expensive as sh*t.

Man, you would've hated

to live with Rob anyway.

He was the worst roommate.

Yo, true that.

That m*therf*cker

used Venmo request me

if I ate some of his goldfish.

And I've never ridden anyone

a*s about rent or utilities

the entire time

we've lived here.

You don't pay for the utilities.

So they just flipped

on you just like that?

They didn't give you

a reason or anything.

They said some bullshit

about Lindsay's dad finding out

about it and not

wanting me to stay.

Yeah, like that

dude f*cking cares.

He owns like 10

buildings up there.

Right?

(smoke detector chirps)

Man, when are you

gonna fix that sh*t?

Randy, I said I'd

get to it this week.

Will you please get

off my d*ck about it?

Can we just have a

good time? Thank you.

How can you be friends

with someone for 15 years

and not call them

out on their sh*t?

He's a messy person.

He doesn't always

think things through.

What? Like you?

He's family to me,

Anna. He's family to me.

I know that makes me cringe

to say, but it's f*cking true.

Both of you need to figure out

how you're gonna coexist here

or else it's not

gonna f*cking work.

While I pay rent

for both of you.

- Wow.

- Got it.

f*cking wow.

You know, maybe,

maybe this is...

Maybe this is good.

Maybe, maybe we're

supposed to do this

before we renew the lease.

What do you,

why would you say that?

We have two weeks to renew.

We said we were gonna renew

so what the f*ck are

you talking about?

What the...

What is happening right now?

(Anna crying)

Anna?

You haven't had

a job since 2020.

You can't pay rent.

You don't have a five-year plan.

You don't even have

a one-year plan.

How the f*ck are we supposed

to have a future together?

Is this f*cking,

is this happening right now?

Anna, what the

f*ck is happening?

I just, I think that I

should live in my own place

while you figure out your life.

I just, I don't like how

much we fuse together.

I feel like we should

have different lives

and separate finances.

We can do that together.

- We can do that together.

- Listen to yourself.

You can't exist without me.

Ben doesn't have to live here.

- Ben doesn't have to stay.

- This isn't about Ben. No.

We'll figure something else out.

This is about you.

This is about the fact

that you can't have

an adult relationship.

We're adults in a relationship.

What the f*ck else do you want?

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck this!

This is gonna be hard.

We're just gonna have

to rip the band-aid off.

We're just gonna have to do it.

- Do what?

- Now.

Why don't you just stay

with Jordan and Anna?

She hates me.

And I feel like if

I stay with them,

I'm gonna be the

reason they break up.

I don't want that

blood on my hands.

Hey dude, why don't

you just stay here?

Cody's gone for like a month.

You could totally

crash in his room.

You sure that's a good idea?

[Caleb] Oh, don't even

think twice, dude.

Where you're f*cking friends.

Really?

[Caleb] Mi casa

es tu casa, right?

I'm just being a b*tch.

I'll be fine.

(smoke detector chirping)

(birds chirping)

(water running)

The f*ck?

Jordan?

(water running)

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey. Hey, hey.

Jordan?

Hey, hey, hey, Jordan?

What the f*ck is going on?

Jordan, wake up.

(slapping)

Maybe don't k*ll yourself

with your girlfriend's Ambien.

She f*cking left.

Yeah, I can see that.

Was she in a hurry or something?

It all happened so fast.

I just.

Hey, hey.

Hey, it's gonna be

okay, all right?

It's gonna be okay.

I know you're freaking out

and you probably should be,

but we're gonna figure

this out together,

you and me, all right?

We're both f*cking

(crying) broke.

Oh, wait, what do you

mean you're broke?

How are you gonna pay rent?

Anna was gonna pay for me.

We have to be outta

here in two weeks.

f*ck that.

No, let's get outta

here right now.

Let's go!

Right now?

Yeah, look at this place, man.

We can't stay here.

It's a shell of its former self.

It's bad f*cking vibes.

We gotta get outta here.

Let's go.

(sighs)

Where?

(upbeat music)

(smoke detector chirps)

- [Ben] Hey.

- Hi.

[Ben] Sorry. I just

got your message.

Whoa.

It's not my room.

(kissing)

(washing machine chimes)

[Randall] Dryer's broken.

(sighs)

(camera clicks)

Very nice.

Now let's try one.

Just lean, just move your

head down just a little bit.

Yes. Just like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Perfect. (Camera clicks)

Nice.

Yes.

(bang)

(footsteps)

Oh, Seor Jordan.

- What's up buddy?

- Hey.

Hey, thanks for hooking

me up with that job today.

Are you kidding?

Thanks for covering for,

what the f*ck is his name?

Kyle. Thank you.

You saved our bacon. I

appreciate you being here.

Of course, definitely.

Did you wanna see

some of the pictures I took?

No, I'm sure they're good.

That's all right.

You get paid by a company check?

Is that right?

Uh. Venmo. Venmo works.

Ugh. All right.

What's your name?

It's gonna be @Jordan.

[Curtis] Jordan.

Jordan Arriaga.

A-R-R-I

Two R's.

A-G-A.

It's TX.

TX.

And send. All right.

You're set. Thanks.

(computer booting up)

Hey, you know, I saw on the

website that y'all were hiring

for a full-time position.

You know, I'd really

love to throw my name

in the hat for that.

[Curtis] Buddy, don't, don't

ever listen to what they say

on the website.

They haven't updated

that sh*t in years.

No, we don't have a

full time position.

I'm sorry about that.

I can put you on a waiting

list if that's helpful, but.

Okay. Yeah. Cool.

[Curtis] All right.

Sounds good.

[Caleb] He's stressed,

bro. He's stressed, bro.

- He's getting lined up.

- He's f*cking stressed.

- No, no, no.

- He's getting lined up.

[Caleb] Go, go, Dustin.

His hands are down.

His hands are down. Come on.

His legs are weak.

Take 'em. Take 'em.

Take that sh*t.

Take that! Go!

f*cking go!

(Rendall cheering)

- f*cking go.

- Good night.

That's f*cking it.

That's what we're gonna

do for my birthday.

We're gonna do a f*cking

championship f*cking fight.

And we're gonna

do bestie rounds.

We're gonna do me versus you

and then we're gonna

do Ben versus Jordan.

- That is so f*cking g*y.

- (laughs) That's so g*y.

[Randall] Is it g*y to

have a theme for your party?

[Caleb] Yeah. Thank you, bro.

A coke and molly theme maybe?

Yes, please.

Yeah, I can make that happen.

(smoke detector chirping)

Randy, if you say a

f*cking word, I swear to God.

No way, guys.

I got something.

(sports on TV)

Oh no f*cking way!

(upbeat music)

It's fixed.

(everyone cheering)

Hell yeah.

[Randall] That's

f*cking right, bro.

(upbeat music)

Where's your keys?

Have you given any thought

about what the f*ck

is gonna happen

when Cody gets back tomorrow?

I don't know, we'll move

to the couches downstairs.

You know, for the last

two week I thought maybe

'cause you kept saying that

we'd figure it out together

that we'd figure

it out together.

We are figuring it out together.

Look, let's just talk

about it tonight.

But the party's tonight.

Ben!

(upbeat music)

(app chimes)

I wanna be there for you

I wanna be there

I wanna be there for you

And I don't care

If you don't treat me right

You're still the one I wanna

hold the whole cold night

If you don't treat me

right, I don't care

I wanna be there

(app chimes)

He wants to be there for you

I wanna be there

I wanna be there for you

And I don't care

if (indistinct)

(phone chimes)

I don't care (splash)

(app chimes)

He wants to be there

I wanna be there

Ben?

[Ben] Professor Gelman.

(chuckles) Just, just Ron.

I didn't recognize

you with the beard.

Wow, this is such

a great surprise.

You know, they don't have

pics on these delivery apps,

you know, they're so impersonal.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Wow.

Well, I'm sorry

to ruin your hopes

for your students' futures.

Come on. Stop it. Stop it.

We're all just doing

what we can, aren't we?

Ah, is the sweet green here?

So Ben, this is Arturo.

He's a grad student

in from Mexico City.

We're hosting him

in our guest house.

Yeah, we were just

(chuckles) Grading papers.

Grading papers, yeah.

Did um, did you say

you have a guest house?

We do. Yeah.

We just finished

renovations actually.

You want a tour?

No, I've, I've gotta

get back to work.

[Ron] Sure, sure. I got you.

Well, that means you

should definitely come over

for dinner then.

Oh, okay.

[Ron] You still got

my number, yeah?

Yeah, I do.

All right, well, hope

to hear from you, okay?

- Okay.

- Thanks for the grub.

- All right.

- Bye bye.

(app chimes)

(chuckles)

[Ben] Like this.

[Caleb] During class?

That's f*cked up.

Feels kind of nice.

It did, but he

just had this like,

creepy over-enthusiasm

about my essays.

Like I could practically hear

his two inch b*ner springing up.

But anyways, he actually looked

kind of good with a beard.

And a hundred dollar tip,

that's like automatic hand job.

Ew. Have some class, bro.

No, I'm gonna have

to take the guest house

and be his live-in f*ck sl*ve

if I'm gonna save up

for New York at this rate.

All right, no friend of mine

is ever gonna be a sl*ve.

You guys can just stay

here as long as you need.

Cody's coming back tomorrow.

You guys can sleep on the

couch as long as you need.

Well, then we should

probably text him

- before he gets here.

- All right, dude,

how about we just

clean up his sh*t first thing

in the morning and

then we'll talk to him

when he gets here, all right?

But right now y'all gonna do

this birthday molly with me.

- Okay.

- That's for you.

Are you sure?

- f*ck it.

- That's yours.

Where's Liz?

I dunno who the f*ck

you're talking about.

It's like, I know that New York

is like everybody's f*cking

place that they want to move to,

right, ut I've made my

peace with that, right?

Because like, I have

known my whole life

that I may have

been born in Texas,

but I'm sure as f*ck

not gonna die here.

For sure, I feel

like dying anywhere

that's like not coastal

would be so tragic.

Like you were

meant for New York.

Oh my God, thank you

so much for saying that.

Yeah, man, I feel like

you were meant to be there.

I literally just said that.

Neil, can I say something?

I'm sorry, but you're

one of the only friends

from high school that we

still have that lives here

and like no one

else understands,

but like, you were the

first out g*y guy that I met

even before Ben,

because Ben wasn't out yet.

And like, and like, I

really appreciate that

because I could finally

accept the fact that I was bi

and like, even though I

only want to date women,

I can still explore

that side of myself.

You know what I'm saying?

So sweet.

Yeah, he didn't though,

but like, that's okay.

It's the thought counts,

- right?

- Yeah. I did, I did.

I hooked up with that

guy freshman year.

I've just been in a

relationship this whole time.

Yeah, I'm bi and Neil's

the first guy I ever dated.

And the last.

(everyone laughing)

I'm gonna get water.

Okay.

Okay, is he okay or what?

(group chattering indistinctly)

(water running)

Hey Jordan.

Val.

- Hey, what's up?

- Hey.

Water.

Yeah, you know, I'd

say sorry about Anna,

but it seems like

you're doing good.

Yeah. Great.

It's been, what,

two months, right?

Two weeks, but you

know, I'm so great,

still so. (Chuckles)

Glad you didn't leave.

Like, LA sucks.

- Mm.

- Yeah.

Austin's basically LA at this

point, so why bother, right?

Is that why you guys broke up?

What?

Um

I'm sorry.

Did, did you like no know or?

Um.

Of course I knew. (Laughs)

I'm just f*cking with you guys.

(everyone laughing)

Oh my God.

(upbeat music)

(indistinct chatter)

Hey.

My God, Abby.

Hey.

- I love you, Abby.

- I love you. Hi.

Hi.

- Lemme just tell you.

- Yeah?

If I could have your hair

cut, I absolutely would.

It's unbelievably perfect.

Hey Jordan.

- This is all perfect.

- Thank you so much.

[Ben] This is Kyra.

She sells hats.

This is Tristan. He sells drugs.

Hi. Can I just...

Selling drugs is the most

important job in the world.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You hear that, babe?

I can teach you.

You have no idea

how good I feel right now.

I bet I do.

Drink some water, yeah. (Laughs)

I need to talk to you.

Will you come with

me for a second?

- Okay.

- Come on.

[Kyra] OK, bye.

What's going on?

What's going on?

Listen, I'm so f*cking

overwhelmed right now,

but in the best way.

There is so much love out there.

And Anna, f*cking

withheld her love, right?

- Yes.

- Right?

Mm-hm.

But everyone out there

loves me so much.

Everyone out there

loves you so much.

It's just so much.

(exhales sharply) Just,

f*ck, I just need a second.

- I wanna move to New York with

you. - What?

I wanna move to New

York with you b*tch.

You're just saying

that 'cause you're.

f*ck you. No I'm not.

Listen, I've been thinking

about this ever since Anna left.

All right, I know Austin.

I love it here. I know everyone.

I know where everything

is. I love everyone here.

But it's like, you're right,

I need to change my

whole f*cking life.

We both do, so let's

just do it together.

Yes.

Holy sh*t, am I f*cking

dreaming right now?

No, this is not a f*cking dream.

This is f*cking real.

Do you remember when

we were in New York

and you were saying that

we could go a whole day

without paying for sh*t?

- And we did that.

- We did.

Yeah, that was all us.

We f*cking did that.

Exactly.

So it's March right now.

Uh-huh!

Well, what if we just

moved to New York at the end

of the year and we just

like spent the rest

of the year not paying any rent

and just like saving

up a ton of money.

Oh my God.

Wait. Whoa. Okay.

Wait. What do you mean?

Well, think about it, okay?

We're not paying any

rent here, right?

And when Cody comes

back, the guys will talk to him

and we can stay here for at

least two more months at least.

Right, okay, and then after

that, what are we gonna do?

Well, you just f*cking said it.

- Our friends.

- Our friends.

Okay?

- Oh my God.

- They f*cking love us.

We can just stay with them.

And, and we don't even

have to stay that long

because if we

outstay our welcome.

- We can just go some else.

- We just go somewhere else.

- Exactly.

- We can go somewhere else.

We're staying with

Caleb and Randy.

Yeah, but then we

can stay with Abby,

and then we can stay

with Neil and Joe

(knocking)

[Randall] Yo, what the f*ck

are you guys doing in here?

- One second.

- Hold on. Hold on.

Here, look at me.

I f*cking love you.

I f*cking love you. I

f*cking love this plan.

Oh my f*cking God.

And look, it'll be like

a social experiment.

- Yes.

- Yes.

Let's f*cking do it.

Let's do it together.

Let's f*cking do it.

- Yes. Yes.

- Yes. Yes.

- All right. Guys.

- Guys.

What the f*ck are you doing,

trying to keep me

outta my own room?

(everyone chattering

indistinctly)

Dude!

Oh f*ck! I'm sorry.

Oh, we just washed these.

Randy. It's fine. Shut the up.

I'll wash it later.

f*ck you, man. You

mean I'll wash them.

But whatever man, I

don't give a f*ck.

And I know you steal

my f*cking Adderall too.

I don't know what

he's talking about.

(Ben snorting)

I f*cking love it, dude.

I f*cking love it.

Social experiment.

Back what I said.

Yo, yo, yo, how do you

guys come up with this sh*t?

I mean, look at our

lives, man, right?

Like, we don't

have sh*t going on.

We don't have sh*t to lose.

So it's like the universe

is just telling us

to roll with it.

And.

[Caleb] Cody, what the f*ck

are you doing here so early?

I texted y'all in the

group chat yesterday.

What the hell happened here?

It's my birthday.

Can y'all not? It's

a family quilt.

sh*t. Sorry.

[Cody] It's like a f*cking

hurricane tore through this

place.

In my f*cking room.

- Caleb said it'll be fine.

- He just gets like this.

They just gotta run it by him.

And maybe we can stay in here

or we can stay in

Randy's or we can stay.

Yeah, I'm f*cking

telling them, dude.

[Cody] Who gives a f*ck

about the smoke detector?

Hey guys. Um.

So, uh, Cody's being

just such a f*cking as*h*le

and we're like trying

to talk to him,

but he's just like, um...

f*ck guys, I'm really sorry.

He's just like the biggest

f*cking as*h*le on Earth.

And, and, uh... f*ck,

guys. I'm sorry.

What about our mattresses?

I'll just ask Caleb if

we can keep them here.

I was thinking we could

even try to sell them.

That'd be an easy hundo

at least for each of us.

Do you still think

this is a good plan?

Oh, f*ck yes, I do.

Just trust me, all right?

(gentle music)

(traffic sounds)

(birds chirping)

I'll just be a second.

[Tristan] What's up guys?

What's up?

Hey.

Abby, I set a f*cking

reminder on my phone.

It's been two weeks.

Okay, I will talk

to them, alright?

I just don't wanna kick 'em out.

I care about these guys.

They're going through

a rough patch.

Isn't the g*y one your ex?

From like freshman year, yeah.

And also he's not

g*y, he's bi, okay?

Is he though?

He broke your heart. Now he's

eating my f*cking pistachios.

(Jordan coughing)

Hey, um, you ever need

any help running product or...?

Like, (chuckles) like a runner?

Yeah, like a runner.

Do you ever need any

help with any of that or?

No, man, I'm flattered,

but it's not that

big an operation.

It's just, I basically

just sell to my friends

and my friend's

friends. But um...

- Cool.

- Yeah.

No, that's cool.

- I'm sorry. Yeah.

- No, that's cool.

You ready?

[Tristan] Let's just stay here.

[Ben] Yeah, hang out with us.

(thunder)

(everyone laughing)

(Ben coughing)

[Kyra] Dude, are you okay?

(friends laughing)

Ben?

Ben?

Can we talk about

the plan again?

I said plan's simple, okay?

We just stay outta people's hair

and we do favors and

sh*t for them if they ask

and we focus on making money.

Yeah.

I just dunno how I'm

gonna do that last part.

You're creative.

Be creative.

Hey, hey.

Hey.

You need any help?

No, thank you. I'm good.

Teaching my class at

First Street today.

Oh, cool.

How's your day going?

I just updated my website

and portfolio, so that's cool.

That's good.

I've been looking for jobs,

but everything pays

so f*cking little.

[Abby] Yeah.

Thinking about doing deliveries,

but then what would Ben do?

You know?

I just wanna get paid to

take my stupid little pictures.

Do you do video?

(intense dance music)

(kissing)

(moaning) You better get to it.

I gotta get back to work.

Let me eat your a*s

first. I'll be quick.

Don't be too quick.

(Ben moaning)

What's your rent?

Oh, wait, don't,

don't, don't tell me.

Hey, I saw snacks downstairs.

Can anyone have those?

(bags rustling)

Honestly, it was

just great being able

to take pictures again.

[Ben] Oh, that's nice.

Yeah.

[Ben] Is she gonna pay you?

I don't know. We haven't

really talked about that yet.

[Ben] You need to ask her.

- I don't know.

- You should.

But they're like hosting us.

Yeah, but you gotta get

your f*cking bag, dude.

(sighs)

(crickets chirping)

This is so good,

you guys. Thank you.

Of course.

We wanted to pay you back

for being such great hosts.

Yeah, thanks for letting us

use your groceries

too, honestly.

Of course, at least someone's

putting 'em to good use.

You know?

(everyone laughing)

I think Abby's subsisted

solely on 3AM Whataburger

for like all of freshman year.

Ah, yeah, that was my

eating disorder that year.

So yeah, that

sounds about right.

Thank you for bringing that up.

- Thank you.

- You were a mess.

I was a mess, probably

'cause I was dating you then.

[Ben] Hey!

What was that like?

[Abby] What?

Being his only girlfriend.

It was fun, yeah.

I got a lot of my good

sleeping T-shirts out of it.

You know?

- Fun?

- Yeah.

- Really?

- Yes.

You f*cking hated me.

I didn't hate you. I didn't.

I didn't hate you.

I just, I thought you had a lot

of issues with

women, that's all.

Issues with women.

What the f*ck?

[Abby] (giggling) What the f*ck?

I don't have f*cking

issues with women.

What do you.

- You don't?

- I don't. I don't.

Is that what all your

female friends are telling you?

Is that the feedback

you're getting?

(Ben belching)

Nice.

I don't wanna talk

about this anymore.

[Abby] Well, let's not

talk about it then.

Okay, great. Let's

change the subject.

[Abby] Let's change the subject.

What did you guys do today?

I taught one of my dance classes

and he came and filmed it.

- Really?

- Mm-hm!

- That's really nice.

- It was really nice.

Are you gonna pay him?

Huh! Okay. Uh...

So you guys said that you

would be out in two weeks.

Is that right?

(gentle music)

[Woman on TV] There's

nothing you can do

to convince me that God

did not take an extra day

to (indistinct).

(gentle music)

(birds chirping)

(spraying)

(Neil clapping)

All right, it's

karaoke night, b*tches.

Did he say karaoke night?

(indistinct chatter)

They're not f*cking

working. They're dead.

Why did you not charge

it like I told to?

I couldn't find the charger.

The case is the charger.

Why did you not

put it in the case?

(Gio sighs)

(Neil imitates him)

[Richard] Okay, it's kinda

like a social experiment.

Exactly.

It's more of a survival plan.

A whole year, and you've

already crashed at three spots

in one month?

Well, the idea was

the calendar year,

so three months and three.

Three months. Three spots.

Does anyone have cigs?

(women laughing)

Dude, she picked

your clothes out for you?

No.

(women laughing)

She just helped me with

my fashion sense, that's all.

I totally get that.

It's like whenever me and

my ex broke up, I didn't.

[Lena] Drink, oh!

[Evie] Yeah, they're drinking

whenever I bring up my ex.

- That's so mean.

- Yeah.

[Lena] Friends keep

friends accountable.

Yeah.

I feel like if I

didn't have Ben,

I'd probably crawl into a pit

of despair and not come out.

Facts.

That's why I've been doing.

It's like no one tells you

that when you break up

with someone after four years,

it's like you're losing

your best friend too.

Yeah, exactly.

(Ben snorting)

Body by BJJ, baby.

Oh, I wish I could

get into that.

You should. You're

a f*cking man.

Don't you just have that desire

to pummel another

man into submission.

Literally. No.

I wanna be the guy

that gets pummeled.

(Richards snorting)

Hey, do you think that

Jordan and I could ever crash

at your place?

Oh. (Laughs)

Yeah.

Mm. Nah.

Like, I just enjoy

my privacy too much.

No, look, it's cool.

I shouldn't even have asked.

(knock on door) - [Neil]

Let me in, you f*cking c**ts.

Line for the host.

(Chuckles) Come on.

I swear to f*cking God,

if another Swiftie belts

their hearts out out there,

I'm going to get the

f*cking g*n. It's that serious.

Thank you.

Richard, have you

been working out?

sh*t.

(Neil snorting) (door closes)

Sorry, there are people

f*cking in my room.

Neil said I could lie

down here for a second.

No worries. I'm just grabbing

Neil's poppers real quick.

I did too much coke.

I think my heart's

gonna explode.

Here, do some box

breathing with me.

What's that?

It's a tactic used by Navy SEALs

to help regulate their bio

rhythms under pressure.

Just close your eyes.

Inhale for four.

(Jordan inhales)

Exhale for four.

(Jordan exhales)

And then (knocking)

- Hey.

- Hey kiddos.

Hey.

I was just getting my

sh*t together, box breathing.

Cool, have you seen how

crazy it's getting out there?

There are people

f*cking in our room.

Boys. Boys, boys. (Chuckles)

Oh, room for one more?

Mmm.

I love my chosen family.

- Me too.

- Mm.

Now, can you please

help me get these f*ggots

out of my house?

(birds chirping)

What if I narrated every

single detail about having sex?

Do you think that's something

that would be

particularly interesting

or scintillating, Gio?

[Gio] I'm sorry, I

just asked about that.

[Neil] Have you ever heard

somebody explain a joke?

It's the worst.

[Gio] Okay. I

know. I, I'm sorry.

[Neil] Dumb f*ck.

And here we have...

The "Rose Quartz."

These stones are

absolutely gorgeous.

Just 19.99.

Okay, okay, I get it.

I'm not finished.

I know.

I can't buy any of

these right now.

I just told you I

don't have any money.

You can sell these!

Like me.

And your friends

can join in, too.

Ben, Anna, they'd love it.

You already know what I think.

Don't start with

me about pyramids.

Mom, I'm sorry.

But what about the protein

shakes and the coffee?

Isn't it the same thing?

Alright.

That's your loss.

Do you think Anna would

like to hear about this?

I can give you a

brochure to show her.

We don't talk anymore.

She moved to Los Angeles.

Just because you broke up

doesn't mean that you can't be

friends.

You and Dad aren't friends.

Can you give me a ride

to where I'm staying?

Sure.

So what's Ben up to?

I'm sorry.

Babe, I'm sorry but

you're being f*cking b*tch.

Oh, hey, hey, just

leave that right there.

Gotta scan your ID first.

Oh, I left my wallet upstairs

so just f*cking leave it, dude.

Okay, but then I'm

gonna need a tip.

I tipped you in the app already.

(sighs) Okay. Just one...

Hold on.

What's up?

Oh, hey.

(water running)

(music) (exercise

machines clanking)

(women chattering indistinctly)

So it's her friend's

apartment's gym.

Why the f*ck did

you go back there?

Because I still have a key

and I can't afford

a gym membership.

Well, did she see you?

I don't know. I thought

she was in f*cking LA.

Facebook's been trying to

get me to go out there forever,

but there's just no

f*cking way it's happening.

What do you even do there?

Um, I'm a content supervisor.

What's that?

I don't know anyone who

uses Facebook anymore,

but apparently it's just

this cesspool of beheadings,

shootings, child t*rture porn,

people going absolutely f*cking

sicko mode on each other.

And my team goes through a

portion of the traffic every

week

to weed out the

t*rture and porn.

But yeah, it's

super demoralizing

and actually really

spiritually upsetting.

But I don't know.

I'm basically numb to everything

by this point, so. (Chuckles)

So Gio, are you still

working at the library?

No, I got laid off,

so I've just been

helping friends out

with creative projects lately.

But I get to live my

house husband dream.

[Gio] You always make

me feel so dumb, like.

[Neil] Keep your

f*cking voice down.

You disrespect is out

of control tonight.

Now don't look at me.

Look down at the ground.

(birds chirping)

[Woman on TV] Come

back to a neutral (indistinct).

(exhaling)

I love this chick.

Sorry, I asked Neil if I

could just work out here.

You're all good.

The stretches are

damn hard though.

You need a hand?

Yeah.

How's that feel?

(laughs) It feels good. Thanks.

I think that's good.

(sighs) What time

does Neil get home?

(kissing)

(Ben knocking on door)

Hello?

Hi, I'm your Munchr driver.

I just delivered your sushi.

Uh. Yeah, I just got it. Thanks.

Did you need help figuring

out the tipping function?

Um, I'm sorry?

I just, I noticed that you

didn't leave a tip in the app.

Um, I... Were you going to?

Hey.

Hey, just need to get

my laptop charger.

Sorry. My bad.

Oh dammit! I'm sorry.

(sighs)

(crickets chirping)

You guys totally f*cked?

What?

Don't act like I haven't

noticed how flirty you've been

ever since we got here.

I felt like the wife would

get cheated on a g*y porn,

and now you guys can't even

look each other in the eye?

(sighs)

- Oh, oh my God.

- Please.

You f*cking dog.

You're an animal.

What, is that the first

guy in four years?

Have you even

f*cked a guy before?

I'm obsessed. I need to

know everything, okay?

Every last nasty little detail.

I'm not telling you anything.

What? Why?

I tell you everything.

I told you how I threw

up on that guy's d*ck

'cause it smelled

like barbecue sauce.

Maybe I didn't

want to know that.

Well, you would tell me

everything about you and Anna.

That was different.

Look, you're making me

feel real weird about this,

all right, can you

please just chill out?

Please?

Okay, fine. I get it.

I still can't

believe you did that.

I mean, that's the first

cool thing you've done

since you've been

single honestly, f*ck.

f*ck, wait.

- What?

- Well,

I think you may have really

fumbled the f*cking bag

- for us here, dude.

- What do you mean?

Well, what if Neil finds out?

Or what if Gio tells him?

Well, that's not gonna happen.

It was a tiny little shared

moment between the two of us

and now it's in the past.

Well, he looks like you

just k*lled his entire family.

Are you coming

after me for this?

Seriously? You?

Are you totally incapable

of feeling like a f*cking

hypocrite for once?

Okay, I am a

calculated risk taker.

I calculate the risk.

And I don't care if you think

that I just do whatever I want

because what you've done here

is another level

of carelessness.

So you calculated the

risk when you f*cked Rob?

You are really f*cking mean

when you're under pressure.

You know what, congratulations

on getting your d*ck wet

or a*s, I wouldn't know 'cause

you won't f*cking tell me.

(gentle music)

(crickets chirping)

I totally sympathize with that,

but like, if it's getting

hotter it's also kind of a vibe.

Like, I don't know, it just

makes me like so nostalgic.

Like summer vacation, like

windows down, music up.

Anyway, babe, why don't

you get off your phone?

You're making everyone anxious.

Oh my f*cking God. (Chuckles)

I just had the craziest

f*cking idea: Movie night. Ah!

Movie night. Movie

night. Movie night.

Like high school.

- Okay, sure.

- Movie night.

Movie night. What?

[Neil] You just listen to what.

[Gio] No, you listen,

you listen to me, okay?

(thud)

Ow, that's my head.

[Gio] Don't f*ck' say that.

I'm so f*cking scared.

It's okay. I don't think

they're talking about you.

They're so f*cking toxic.

We can't stay here.

I haven't slept a whole

night since we've been here.

[Neil] No, you(glass shatters)

[Gio] I'm sorry. I didn't

know I'd break it, okay?

[Neil] (yells) I f*cking

got that at Epcot.

(tense music)

(zipping)

[Jordan] So where do we go now?

[Ben] I was thinking

maybe we should split up

for this next one.

[Jordan] What?

[Ben] I don't know, two of

us is just too many variables.

So I'm gonna try to

crash at this top's place

for the next couple days.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

This was your idea.

What the f*ck am

I supposed to do?

Sleep in the f*cking car?

I can ask Scott if he'd

be cool with you staying too,

but I'm gonna need at least

tonight to sell him on the idea.

Man, f*ck you.

(turn signal)

What are you doing?

No, man, we're so

close to downtown.

Just drop me off at his place.

I'm sure you'll

find a way there.

Get the f*cking outta the car.

(door slams)

(sighs)

(birds chirping)

(Jordan knocking)

Like I knew it was

always gonna be hard

and like I thought I'd get over

it and like recover from it,

but like, just feels like

something broke six months ago

and like it's always

gonna be broken.

[Jordan] It won't.

It feels that way.

It's felt that way

for me too sometimes.

I mean, when me

and Anna broke up,

I felt like I was never

gonna be happy again.

And... I'm sure

I'll be happy again.

I mean, our relationship was

half as long as you and Amy's

I just need to stop avoiding it.

Like, I'm always

avoiding everything.

I mean like, look at

my f*cking apartment.

- It's not that bad.

- Come on,

you're not gonna

hurt my feelings.

I feel like if I

clean everything up

and throw everything out,

it's like I'll admit that

she's like actually gone.

Hey.

(junk rattling)

Come on, come on.

I don't know what I was thinking

offering up my place to you.

I'm sorry, like, I guess I

just, I really want to help.

You are helping me.

Let me help you.

What do you mean?

I mean, I'll help you

clean your apartment.

Every time I get depressed,

I force myself to clean my

apartment, and it f*cking sucks.

But after I finish, it's

like I instantly feel better.

You'd do that for me?

Of course I would.

(upbeat music)

Do you want a mop

Do you want an ashtray

Do you want to stop

Do you want to keep going

Do you need a friend

Do you want to eat breakfast

Wanna play pretend

Wanna dance like

(indistinct)

Every time

Every time I ask

you a question

You just whine

You go ahead and shake it

Well, what do you think?

I like really appreciate it,

but I'm just like not used

to seeing it so empty.

I'm so sorry. Um

I like, I just like really

need to be alone right now,

so can you please go?

Can you like leave

like right now? Please?

Can you... Okay.

Can you like please go?

- Please.

- Okay. Okay.

Go. Please.

(gentle music)

(crickets chirping)

[Ben] You really don't

mind if I stay for a bit?

I think you might

be the first bottom

in history to ask that.

Rude.

No, I hate sleeping

alone anyway.

You know Dolly Parton

hasn't slept alone

since she was like 16.

Why would I know that?

It's romantic to

sleep in the same bed.

Yeah, yeah that's why I hate it.

Not like with you.

I just like haven't slept with

someone in the same bed

since my ex and I broke up.

Sorry.

That's fine.

I guess I've slept in the

same bed as Jordan too.

Who's Jordan?

My best friend.

(distant police sirens)

(knock on window)

[Man] You can't sleep here.

Um. I'm just waiting

for a friend.

[Man] You can't do that either.

It's 2 in the morning.

(police walkie talkie)

Hey, um, sorry,

I know it's late.

[Ben] No, I was awake too.

[Jordan] My place fell through.

Could I come over there?

[Ben] No man. My place

actually fell through too.

Do you wanna come pick me up?

Where do you wanna go?

[Ben] I was trying

to avoid this,

but you think you got a

three hour drive in you?

(gentle music)

(motorcycle engines)

Well, hello. Hey.

(laughs) Morning Dad.

How are you Benny?

What's going on? How are you?

Jordan, it's so good to see you.

It's so good to see you.

Well, how was your trip?

I only got your text

about an hour ago,

so I rolled accordingly.

That was about all I could do.

Don't get too excited, dad,

we're just here to do laundry.

Well, and this is

just a place to do it.

I've got a washer and a dryer.

You know, we've got all the

roll mop cons around here,

that's for sure,

I'll tell you that.

Hey, just go ahead

and drop 'em anywhere.

Now we're gonna go upstairs.

We're gonna go to my room.

Well, yes.

Oh, the Ben Coleman

Museum of Natural History.

You'll, you'll be

excited to know

that I haven't changed a thing.

Thanks Jeff.

- Jesus Christ.

- Man. I missed your dad.

Top or bottom, you

got a preference?

Wait. I'm afraid to ask.

(groans)

(gentle music)

(ducks quaking)

(water running)

[Jeff] Up and at

'em there, Jordo.

[Jordan] Hey Jeff.

(Jeff chuckles)

God, that smells good.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Now, in your many travels,

do you recall my critically

acclaimed... firehouse chili?

Oh my God, that's incredible.

- Amazing. Right?

- Wow.

Well listen, it's

not gonna be ready

for a country minute or so.

It's gotta reduce.

So if you're hungry,

there's leftovers in the fridge.

Thank you, Jeff.

What is it, a f*cking school

holiday at the firehouse?

Dad said, you're only here

because you're homeless.

I'm not homeless.

Well, then where do you live?

Right now, here in my home.

This ain't your house, brother.

It's not yours either.

Y'all two living

here rent-free too.

I just got my own

place, dickhead.

And I pay utilities though.

Shut the f*ck up, Andy.

- Shut the f*ck up.

- Make me pay too?

I feel so sorry for you.

It's all right.

With your broke a*s.

Jesus.

I get the whole prodigal

son thin you're rolling through,

but I mean, look at

your poor brothers here.

It's practically inhumane.

Look, I just don't

want you telling me how

to live my life or where.

Got a little joke for you.

Why did Jesus

Christ, our Messiah,

never moved to New York City?

Because he wasn't real.

No, but I get that an awful lot.

Because he searched

the entire town

and still couldn't find

three wise men and a virgin.

(everyone laughing)

It's like everyone he

encountered was stupid

and had had sex before.

- You get it, don't you, Andy?

- Screwed up lefties.

I got it, daddy.

- You got it.

- I got it.

All right. Good man.

I'm glad you get it.

(inhaling)

Dad, are you vaping?

It's CBD. It helps me relax.

Hell, with everything I read

about that city and Austin.

[Andy] Don't even

get me started.

[Dane] Yeah, Jordan, you

trying to come work out with us?

Hell yeah. At the firehouse?

No, dude, I don't go to

work when I'm off work.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, now we're

going to LA Fitness, baby.

- Ready to ride?

- What about me?

So what's been

like bumming around

with our ingrate of a brother?

It hasn't been easy, bro,

but we're making it work.

I'm honestly just worried about

how I'm gonna make money

while I'm here.

You just got into town, boy.

Just take it one step at a time.

Live in the moment.

There ain't nothing

better than getting high

after a nice pump, brother.

It's one of life's

most simple pleasures.

Taco Bell!

Didn't we just eat?

Please, no more country

music. (Car engine starting)

[Radio] Celebrate 20

years of Texas country

on 99.5 The Wolf.

(country music)

(guys chattering indistinctly)

Sun don't set on me

(indistinct lyrics)

I haven't told her

yet that I'm gone

And she deserves

a better end

Before the night

returns again

I loved her far too

much to just forget

But I'd never burden

her with all the debt

Oh the horses are a curse

But to see her

face was worse

Walk on down

and hit the road

Thinking oh God she

deserves to know

Her eyes aglow

Thinking oh God at

least she'll never know

(crickets chirping)

(dog barking)

Seriously, man, you've

been talking smack all week.

Like we were gonna pound

forties in the parking lot

before we saw this movie.

20 minutes 'till show time.

Okay, all right,

all right. Let's go.

[Jordan] You want to come?

No, you guys go ahead.

You wanna help with the dishes?

(water running)

Dad, if you're gonna help,

you wanna gimme a little space?

(water running)

You know, you used to

be quite the little cuddle bug

when you were a kid.

I remember when you were 13

and you and Jordan

used to snuggle

and cuddle underneath the

blanket and watch movies.

I remember y'all

watching "Excalibur" often.

You know how special

a friend like that is, right?

There are gifts in life, Ben,

that you just can't take

for granted as a man.

And having a friend like

that is definitely one of them.

I know.

Do you?

Dad, your hands are all soapy.

Not anymore.

I'm serious, Ben.

A friendship like that, it takes

commitment on both sides.

It's a bit like a marriage.

Hell, it should be

stronger than a marriage.

And you can't be lazy about it.

It's really not that deep.

Yes, it is.

That boy is struggling like you

and you need to be there for him

just like he's been there

for you all those times,

all those so many

times in the past.

I need you to listen to

me on this one, okay?

I need to know that

you're hearing me.

I get it.

Okay.

(water running)

(crickets chirping)

[Commentator] Back

here in Houston,

time now for the McDonald's

McNugget of the game.

(phone buzzes)

f*ck! Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Thank you, God.

Oh my God. Thank you, Jesus.

What's going on?

I got approved for Sittr.

What's a Shitter?

It's this house-sitting app.

They're like really

strict about vetting.

I applied like two f*cking

months ago, but I got in.

We're in.

[Jeff] Never thought

I'd see you so excited

about getting a job.

Dude, look at this place.

All right, we got

our first assignment.

Look, isn't that f*cking sick?

It looks nice.

We can finally get out of here.

(dog barking)

(Jeff shushing)

They let you have one guest

as long as you scan

their passport,

I think, because they

want me to stay overnight.

It's this loaded

tech entrepreneur

and he's out of town

for the weekend.

What?

I don't wanna go.

What do you mean?

I mean like, what's the plan?

We stay at a rich

person's house for two days

and then what?

I mean... What are we gonna do?

Jordan, we're regressing

every day we stay here.

I can literally feel myself

moving backwards

through puberty.

Okay, then you can go

and I'll stay here.

What?

You can't stay at my

family's house without me.

That's weird.

Hurry up. Okay.

(upbeat music)

Bye Ben.

(everyone speaking indistinctly)

- Bye y'all.

- Okay.

Sun don't set on me

(indistinct lyrics)

I haven't told her

yet that I'm gone

She deserves a better end

Before the night

returns again

(phone falls)

(suspenseful music)

(crickets chirping)

I am telling you, man,

this place is gonna

be f*cking sick.

(alarm pings)

What the f*ck!

(keypad chimes)

(alarm pings)

(keypad chimes)

(door unlocks)

Ew!

It looked better in

the pictures, okay?

Holy f*ck!

Oh my God.

The, I, I swear to

God, every time one

of these f*cking motion

sensor things goes off,

I sh*t myself a little bit.

Tackiest all f*cking sh*t.

All they have is

f*cking Guinness.

(Ben yells)

(sliding door)

Who the f*ck are you?

I'm April.

Who the f*ck are you?

I'm April.

Are you supposed to be here?

My stepdad owns the house

and sometimes he doesn't

tell me when he puts it

on that stupid house

sitting app, so.

[Ben] You scared the

f*cking outta me.

I'm sorry, I just, I

can't jerk off at my dorm

so I have to come here

and do it sometimes.

[Ben] So you're like a student?

No, I'm an RA.

[Jordan] Don't you have

to be in school to be an RA?

Obviously not.

So do you guys want to like

hang out or something maybe?

(thunder rumbling)

(rain spluttering)

You guys have been

friends for like how long,

you've never checked

your compatibility before.

Shut the f*cking up.

You're a triple Taurus.

What does that mean?

And you're a Leo, right?

That means you guys are

like not compatible at all.

Okay, I don't get

what the big deal is.

It means that you're

like astrologically opposed.

It would be like if North

was friends with South,

that would be like

f*cked up, wouldn't it?

Yeah, it'd be f*cked up if

directions had friendships.

What is this? f*cking Pixar?

Well, if anything, wouldn't

that be one of the reasons

that we are such good friends?

No, actually,

because sometimes

like an earth sign

can extinguish a fire sign.

Meaning that like

y'all's problems

that you have are probably

coming from some past trauma

or like an unresolved

physical intimacy thing.

Wait, have you guys ever f*cked?

No. No. Jordan is not my type.

That's weird because

you guys are like both

exactly my type.

What?

I'm just saying, can you imagine

how good the sex would be

between an earth sign, a

fire sign, and a water sign?

Like I'm gonna

slip off the couch

from how wet my p*ssy

just thinking about it.

No, thank you. No.

No, thank you.

I'm just saying if you guys

f*cked and got it over with,

it would solve

all your problems.

What problems?

Yeah. What the f*ck?

Why would you say that?

Whatever. I'm just

gonna get outta here.

Good.

Have fun, like f*cking

jerking off in your dorm.

Yeah, we don't wanna

f*ck each other.

(birds chirping)

(dramatic music)

(bottles clanking)

Geriatric millennials

like wine, right?

I like wine.

sh*t makes me nauseous.

[Jordan] Where are you going?

Um, I'm going to

some guy's house.

Do you need to use the car?

[Ben] Nope. He's

calling me an Uber.

Damn, on your sugar

daddy sh*t again?

[Ben] You sure you're gonna

be okay here by yourself?

[Man On Laptop] I wanna

share a story with you

about how I became rich.

Imagine your life a year

from now, two years from now,

five years from now.

What's it gonna look like?

Imagine a life with less,

less stuff, less stress.

(dog panting)

(crickets chirping)

- Benny Boy.

- Hey.

Hey.

What you got?

I brought wine.

You shouldn't have.

Come on in. Come on, come on.

So I'd like you to

meet my partner, Erica.

Mmm. Hello!

Hi.

Ben.

I brought wine.

Thank you.

I didn't know you were married.

15 years.

Yeah, we met when we

were both copy writing

for the Austin Museum

group and now she runs.

And now I run the

damn place. (Laughs)

Where's Arturo?

Arturo had to go back

home for a family emergency.

Oh, so no one's

staying back there?

Not at the moment, no.

Why don't we take

this to the living room?

How's that sound?

[Jordan] You always

said you wanted to live

with your friends.

I know.

Yeah, I don't know how any

of them were living

together before.

There's just all this

unnecessary drama,

but it is just while

I figure things out.

LA's a really big commitment.

And like a few weeks

turned into a month

and then it turned

into three months

and now I'm just like forgetting

what my whole plan was

in the first place.

I know how that feels.

Are you like homeless?

(Jordan chuckles)

I mean, we've always

found a place to crash.

Ben was pretty good at

lining the spots up.

Some were better than

others, but it got pretty rough.

We went back home for a while

and stayed with his family.

Are you serious?

Yeah, that part was

kind of nice actually.

That's crazy.

I'm

I'm actually kind of

proud of you though

for sticking to a plan.

Yeah, I mean,

after this I don't really

know what I'm gonna do.

But...

(chuckles)

"When really the unbridled

eras of baseball players"

[Ben] Oh my God.

"Is as old as Rome itself."

[Ben] Oh my God.

It's a shame.

It's a real shame you're

not writing anymore.

I mean that.

There's a texture to your words.

Like a longing for a

an idealized male form.

That's what I feel.

[Rob] So powerful.

I was pretty horny

when I wrote that, yeah.

(laughs) You kids

love that word.

Mm, come here.

Come off that thing.

Take a load off. Have a seat.

Why aren't you still writing?

I thought about like

doing something with that

when I was at UT but

after I graduated, after 2020,

I was just like,

it was enough just to

like try to exist, you know?

- Mm.

- Wow.

My friend and I, we

came up with this plan

to crash at our friend's

places without paying any rent

for like the whole year.

It has been a lot

more exhausting

than either of us

thought it would be.

You know, I think it was,

it was Virginia Wolf who said,

"To write one must have

a room of one's own."

"To write one must have money

and a room of ones own."

[Rob] Yes. Money.

Which is money is

a huge part of it.

She was also talking

specifically about women.

- Of course, of course.

- That's part of it, yes.

But what I'm trying to say

is that like, look at it, right?

He's exhausted.

That's no way to live.

I mean, your whole

generation is so restless.

They feel the impending

doom of the future,

what little we have,

so that all they wanna

do is live these fast

and high anxiety

lives all the time,

even when you're having fun.

Right.

It's like they go to

shows and concerts and.

And it's too much.

It's like they just wanna

get trampled to death.

You ever hear the band Low?

Oh.

- We used to go to shows.

- Sit down in chairs. (Chuckles)

Can you imagine a

band doing that today?

Wow. No, that that's crazy.

(record playing)

- Chairs. - Haven't played this

in a while, babe.

Mm-hm! That brings me back.

[Rob] Yeah.

So what are you gonna

do about your lease?

Try to find a sublet.

They're gonna be so pissed.

(Anna laughs)

I am gonna have to k*ll 'em.

- Yeah.

- Mm.

Yeah, I don't think

there's any other option.

I'll help you.

Oh, good. Thank you.

Of course.

We can bury 'em in

our back actually.

Oh, great. Okay.

Yeah, it's a good

spot. Trust me.

(both laughing)

I am gonna ask you something

and I want you to

process it, okay?

Okay.

I know you have no

reason to trust me right now,

but just know that I've

been thinking about it, okay?

Okay.

So like, do you guys

think that you'd be cool

with someone staying back there?

Like just, just

for a little while?

Absolutely.

Of course we would.

Of course.

Being around young

people, so stimulating. (Laughs)

You're so tense.

Look at your drink.

- Come on.

- It's too full.

It's too full.

Drink, drink, drink.

(humming)

Drink, drink, drink.

(indistinct music playing

in the background)

(Erica laughing)

Come here.

(Rob and Erica laughing)

Oh. Okay. Oh.

(kissing)

(vomit splattering)

[Erica] Oh sh*t!

[Rob] Okay.

Get me some towels.

- Yeah.

- Hey.

Hey, hey, hey. It's okay.

(crickets chirping)

(birds chirping)

Did you sleep out here?

What time is it?

It's 10. Gotta check out.

I already packed your stuff.

I'm hungry.

(indistinct chatter)

I think I'm gonna like move

back home and save up

and then move to New

York once I figured it out.

Good man. Good for you.

Yeah.

I'll uh, figure out like a bus

ticket situation or something.

Maybe head out tonight.

Nice.

Is it weird that I kind of

wanna see the old place?

(footsteps)

It's f*cking empty.

[Jordan] Wait, wait.

[Ben] What?

No.

Holy sh*t, this apartment

complex is such a piece of sh*t.

Has it been empty

this whole f*ck' time?

Looks like people have

been staying here.

Ooh sh*t.

It's noon.

(both laughing)

f*ck!

I hope this is the last

f*cking time I move,

like one last time

and that's it.

Moving's a part of life.

You can't just not do it.

- That's impossible.

- Why not?

After this past few

months, I refuse.

I'm just gonna find

a place I love.

I'm gonna live there forever.

You can't just live in one

place for the next 50 years.

That's what old

people used to do

before the Great

Depression or whatever.

(Jordan laughing)

f*ck!

So what are you gonna do?

Um, I'm gonna work my

f*cking a*s off all summer

and then I'm gonna move to

the cheapest room in Brooklyn

that I can find for the fall.

That's smart, man.

[Ben] Yeah.

I um

I think I'm gonna move to LA

with Anna.

LA?

f*cking LA?

[Jordan] I knew you'd

be dramatic about this.

I'm not being dramatic

I'm not f*cking

doing this with you.

I'm not being dramatic.

[Jordan] I'm not

f*cking doing this

- with you.

- I'm not, (shushing)

I'm not being dramatic.

It's just f*cking funny to me.

You're gonna end up

right where you began,

like the past three months

were just you f*cking

circling the drain

and dragging me

along for the ride.

Forget how mean of

a f*cking drunk you are.

I'm not doing this with you.

No, sh*t.

Yeah, you're not, you're

not doing this with me

because you're

bailing on our plan,

which is a really good

plan... Your plan.

And it could've worked

if you gave a f*ck.

I'm taking a nap.

I didn't bail on sh*t...

Why are you naked?

[Ben] Because it's

200 degrees in here.

I didn't bail on sh*t, okay?

You told me in the car that

you wanted to move back home,

that you were gonna go

to New York on your own.

Yeah, and if you

wanted to be a good friend,

then you would've moved with me.

Why would I move with you?

We aren't having any fun or

anything, do you think we would

in New York?

Yes! Obviously, that was

the whole g*dd*mn point.

Do you really think

things are gonna be better

between you and Anna in

LA? Because they're not.

Yeah, it's gonna

be the exact same

except I won't be there

to be your therapist.

No, it won't.

[Ben] Did she tell

you that last night?

Yes. Actually.

We had a good talk.

She apologized.

She wants me to go to LA

with her so we can be together.

And you're gonna do that?

[Jordan] Yes. I want to.

This is so f*cking

predictable of you.

You're always doing this.

You're making the

safest possible choice

because you're f*cking scared.

I am scared.

I'm not f*cking like you.

I don't have any

other f*cking choice.

You were always so scared.

You're scared of losing Anna.

You were scared of me

and us and everything that

(kisses)

What the f*ck was that?

I don't know.

Just wanted to try that.

Did it make you feel anything?

- Not really.

- Me either.

f*ck! Why didn't it

make us feel anything?

I don't know.

Just didn't feel... right?

I mean, you're a good kisser.

Thanks.

Just felt weird,

and not in a good way.

Like incest vibes?

What? No. Jesus.

I just...

Why did you even wanna do that?

I don't know.

Maybe April was right.

Maybe we have all this

resentment in our systems

and we just needed to

get it out and just kiss.

She said we needed to f*ck.

(sighs) I'm too drunk for that.

Me too.

Could get drunker.

(gentle music)

- You're drunker than me.

- You don't even feel any pain.

[Ben] I wish.

Come on. Here you go.

(Jordan growling in pain)

I don't wanna play anymore.

(gentle music)

Do you think I'm a bad friend?

Don't say that.

How come I feel like you

don't wanna see me again?

That's not true.

This year would've been

impossible without you.

I only made it through

because you were there for me

and all I wanted was to be

there for you in the same way,

but I never was, and I'm sorry.

What do you mean?

I don't know.

I'm just gonna miss you a lot.

You can always stay

with me when you visit LA.

I'm not f*cking visiting LA.

(both laughing)

I'm trying to be nice.

Yeah, well, how about you

come visit me in New York.

I will.

You better have a

couch for me too,

- f*ck.

- A couch.

I'm probably gonna be

sleeping under a staircase.

(Jordan laughing)

Suck it. We're spooning then.

You wish!

(gentle music)

(birds chirping)

[Jordan] Hey, could you Venmo

me for the tacos yesterday?

[Ben] Yeah, how much were they?

[Jordan] 21.50, I think.

[Ben] 21.50 for tacos?

[Jordan] You had like five.

[Ben] Yeah, because I

thought you were paying.

[Jordan] Just send me 20.

[Ben] I filled your tank, b*tch.

You should be paying me.

[Jordan] All right,

all right, sh*t.

You could at least

take me out to lunch.

[Ben] Fine, but we're

going somewhere cheap.

(acoustic guitar)

(electronic beat)

I was feeling down

when you called today

Last few months

haven't gone my way

I miss being together

sh**ting the sh*t

Making mistakes for

the thrill of it

I've changed since

we were friends

But you got a halo

from the past tense

Yeah you got a halo

from the past tense

Haven't seen Charlie

since he had that kid

Steve and Elaine are

own a suburban skid

I miss being together

talking the talk

Tripping down the

sixth street sidewalk

I've changed since

we were friends

But you got a halo

from the past tense

Yeah you got a halo

from the past tense

Do do do

Do do do

Do do do

Do do do

Do do do

Do do do do