04x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

(dramatic music plays)

- [NARRATOR] Coming up,

a message from a medium.

- Is that you, Jean?

- [NARRATOR] A takeaway delivery goes large.

- Chicken tikka masala, mix pakora (knocks door).

- Brother, free hugs.

- [NARRATOR] And a public interaction

gets super sized.

- Free hugs.

- Oh (groans). - Oh God.

- [NARRATOR] When crims go fast,

these cops get furious.

If you value all that's good and true,

remember, always

bet on blue.

- I'm driving, sweetheart. Keys.

- [NARRATOR] This is Scot Squad.

(intro music plays)

- [NARRATOR] (horns honking) You don't need

thermal imaging to tell you

that Scotland is an international hotspot.

With a new cold w*r threatening to sizzle,

Chief Miekelson warms his hot seat.

- You glance them with it.

You glance them.

- [NARRATOR] And plays it cool.

- Scotland is a nuclear nation

and it's an honorous task

to police a nuclear nation.

'Cause in the event of nuclear w*r,

Faslane's a target.

And then what happens?

What are we gonna be dealing with?

Well, I'll tell you in one word

what we'll be dealing with,

mutants.

So I'm gonna suddenly

be policing mutants.

It keeps me awake at night.

The idea of bams with giant hands

'cause that could happen.

Pickpockets with extra long fingers,

going to be in one street

and he's pick-pocketing around the other street.

But don't worry, there's a contingency plan.

We're gonna leave a unit in place at Faslane

so in the case of nuclear strike,

they'll be mutants too, okay?

We fight fire with fire.

Bams are gonna have big hands;

we'll have big hands, too.

Now you're saying, this is farfetched.

Yeah, it may be,

but it could happen.

And these are the problems

that I have to

wrestle with.

And I have to wrestle with them

with normal sized hands.

(inspirational music plays)

- [NARRATOR] The human touch

is a touch humans regularly need.

Desk Sergeant Karen Ann Miller

slips on kid gloves to handle delicate issues

with kind

cop

care.

- Morning Officer Karen.

- Hello Bobby. What can we do for you today?

- I've got a sore tummy,

I was wondering if you could help me.

- Really, I think NHS is your best bet.

- I went for a meal last night in a restaurant

and I think I got chicken,

but there was like bits of prawn in it and stuff,

and I still don't feel right.

- It'll pass in a few hours, I'm sure.

It's really not a police matter, I'm afraid.

I'm really busy, okay?

- What is this anyway, Officer Karen?

- I'm going through some old files

and they've obviously been

in the station for a while

and I just, I need to get on with it.

So if you wanna just nip home,

speak to your doctor, okay,

and I'll just get on with this in the meantime.

(Bobby sneezes)

- Oh.

(Bobby farts)

Okay.

- You all right there?

- I'm...

- You want to, maybe?

- I'll just go right.

- Okay. - Okay.

(suspenseful music plays)

- [NARRATOR] An expl*si*n of crime can blast

through the underworld without warning.

Urban crime fighters,

Sarah Fletcher and Jack McLaren

flush out the dodgy doers of dank dirty deeds.

- Ever since the police force has begun,

it would been in a constant battle

against the criminals.

Every now and then,

the criminals do come up with it,

with something that gives them the upper hand.

And you've sometimes gotta put your hands up

and applaud it

and say, well done.

- We got called recently to an industrialist estate.

A young boy had been robbing offices.

We were hot on his heels

and we chased him down an alleyway,

and then (blows air) he was gone.

Just disappeared.

- [PC JACK MCLAREN] Yeah, like literally gone.

(gravel crunches)

- No, there was nowhere for him to go.

Nowhere. We quickly had a search of the area.

- Do you think he can like pop his shoulder out

and squeeze out?

- He was thin.

He was skinny, wasn't he?

Nah. It was like black magic.

You know, you start to think,

is there something directly spiritual

going on here?

And then you gave yourself a shake

and realize he's probably just hiding.

He shawshanked us, tunneled it.

Really freaking weird.

(tunnel rustles)

(Sarah laughs) He was hiding in what looked like

an air vent from the building.

It was a brilliant disguise.

It was actually a children's play tunnel

that he had spray painted silver.

But it was fantastic.

- [PC SARAH FLETCHER] It was very inventive.

Genius, in fact.

- Get back in there.

- Show us how it's done.

- Do that again.

(tunnel rustles)

That is absolutely magnificent.

I love that. - Genius.

- Every day of the week, I would fall for that.

Every day of the week.

As ingenious as it was hiding from us,

it didn't stop him going to jail.

- I mean, we've arrested

plenty of tubes in our time,

but this was the first time

we'd actually arrested a tube.

(upbeat music plays)

- Very exciting day.

Campaign launch.

Always gets my juices flowing, here we go.

Awareness beats carelessness.

You got that there? Okay?

Now, rolling out across nationwide today,

and it's the usual thing.

As soon as you look at it,

suddenly you get a wee bit nitpicky.

'Cause it doesn't...

It doesn't actually rhyme.

You think it's gonna rhyme

'cause they're both end in ness,

but it doesn't really rhyme.

And you know, if you can't do the time,

don't do the crime.

Twenty's plenty, okay?

Rhymes. They get in there,

on a subterranean level.

So maybe, I mean,

it really should be awareness beats careless,

but that doesn't really fly, does it?

Awarenessness beats carelessness.

Ah, now there you go.

Awarenessness beats carelessness.

Now I'm aware that awarenessness isn't actually a word,

but it looks like a word.

You know, and that's half the battle in this game.

What's a word anyway?

I mean,

language is always evolving,

isn't it?

We could, you know... If I was to say to you,

the cyber boys have hacked the botnet,

you'd go, oh, find them.

Crack the internet case. years ago.

It's just Doctor Who.

So you've gotta keep with the flow.

So awarenessness, not a word today,

could be a word tomorrow,

particularly if we make it a word,

'cause we are the authority in this land,

and we can make words just happen like that.

So Jean, could you pull all those posters

and get 'em reissued

as awarenessness beats carelessness.

(music plays) It's not a word today,

but it will be tomorrows.

- [NARRATOR] The Scottish Police Force

has a fast track that rewards ambition

and promotes greatness.

Road Cop Surjit Singh gets set

to mount the greasy pole,

given a leg up by partner, PC Hugh McKirdy.

- Well, obviously every day

is a very important day within a police force,

but sometimes it can be days

that are bigger than others.

Aint that right, PC Singh? - Well...

- Much bigger days than others.

- You see, - Tell 'em.

- It was a continuing evaluation

on my road to becoming a sergeant.

We had an inspector come out

to observe me.

- PC Singh, I presume.

- Indeed.

Officer Danielli.

- Inspector.

- Inspector, of course.

We had some incidents

where we pulled some drivers over.

One was a speeding driver.

- Seatbelt? - It's okay, it's fine.

(clears throat)

- (chuckles) He dropped that.

- And the other was someone

who was driving without insurance.

- Afternoon, sir.

- The reason why we've... (stutters)

we've pulled you over

is because we checked your...

- Registration plate. - Registration plate, yeah.

So what was your surname?

- Aston.

- Is that a real name?

- Do you realize how r*cist you're being?

- How am I being r*cist?

Yeah, I was a little bit nervous,

but I think... - You were a bit chatty.

- Everyone would be in that situation.

- Everybody would be. It happens.

(stammers) It's because... I mean, obviously I was a bit,

a wee bit more laid back.

Because obviously I wasn't getting assessed.

- Excuse me, have you got pen?

- Got a pen? - Please.

- Normally, always get your pens.

- Nicely reliable. Bookies' pen.

That's Charlie Diamonds.

- That's Charlie Diamonds, EH.

You around there often?

- I've been known to frequent on a Saturday afternoon.

- If I didn't make conversation,

it's not because I was nervous

or anything like that.

I was just focused.

- Don't worry about this.

This is a make or break time,

PC Singh, it's a four hour written exam

at the end of this shift. That'll test you.

- Yes sir.

- I am joking. Of course, PC Singh.

I'm just trying to put you at ease.

- You, Hey, you need to come up with me often,

sir, but I laugh.

When the inspector hinted

that he was feeling a wee bit peckish,

I suggested that we go for a wee donut.

- Two of them had gotten out the car

to go to the donut shop and I was left in the car

and I was... I guess you could say,

reevaluating the day as it had gone on.

(screams) You idiot.

- (woman cries) (yells) Get your keys now.

(car engine runs)

(thief yells) (PC Singh struggles)

Come on, come on. On that car

- You okay, ma'am?

- Me and the inspector,

grinning like Cheshire cats,

with the donuts on our hands

and absolutely proud as punch

seeing PC Singh that apprehended the male.

- What do you think, sir?

I told you he was great.

Well, we're absolutely delighted.

He proved himself, to not only me,

but he proved himself to the man in charge.

The boss man.

And you know, I must mention here, PC Singh,

but if you know already,

the big thing in Scottish Police,

there, I'll tell you what,

you're the next big thing.

- In the back of that car. You stay in there.

- Sergeant Surjit is ranking at top.

I see myself at one of the other lassies

in Destiny's Child

and he's Beyonce

and eventually he's gonna join up with Jay-Z

and I'll just be thankful for the memories.

(upbeat music plays)

- [NARRATOR] Criminal data never stops streaming

into the Remote Investigations Division.

Cyber detective, Archie Pepper,

is the ace on the case.

All over the place

and all over your face.

- We try to utilize all of the latest technologies.

One of them we use

is facial recognition technology.

For example, it's able to look at a CCTV image,

scan it, and it can locate the faces of people

in that image.

It's not perfect.

For example, in the first draft of results,

it said that Nicholas Lyndhurst

had robbed three bookies in the Granton area alone.

And said that Goldie Hawn punched a bus driver

in East Kilbride.

And there was one report

that said that Hugh Edwards had been

seen on a moped in Kinross

with his top off, shouting the word, fanny.

And I know that wasn't Hugh Edwards

'cause he was hosting the news that night.

- [NARRATOR] And Archie has some crucial advice

if you are thinking of placing your face on the net.

- People do ask me that,

you know, can you be safe online?

And the answer is no. That's what I tell them.

Categorically.

You can't be safe online.

It's the Wild West out there.

You know, I'm the sheriff.

You know, back then in the Wild West,

it used to be g*nshots.

Now it's screenshots, you know.

(imitates g*nshots)

(upbeat music)

- [NARRATOR] Out and about on the beat,

PC Ken Beattie is the volunteer rebooted

to become a verified cop.

- I've never actually had a colleague before.

- I can tell.

- I was very close to prostit*tes

when I was on the streets.

- [NARRATOR] The re versioned regulation rozzer

keeps his peepers perpetually peeled.

- Do you ever worry that

the walkie talkie antenna is gonna poke in the eye?

It's important in my new role

to constantly be aware of my surroundings

and always be alert.

- Tea, eh?

- Yes, please. Milk... milky tea. Just hot milk.

Dip it four times.

Thanks Gareth.

- Free hugs, my man.

- Nice hugs. Free hugs.

- Free hugs.

Yeah.

- Oh, aw.

- Yeah.

She knows, man.

- I've never seen him like it.

People would hug him.

- Brother, free hugs. - Free hug.

I needed this today. Thank you.

- And then that was it.

They'd walk away happy.

- He knows, man.

Hey, when's the last time

you let a stranger really touch you, man?

- I've not been touched for a long time. Just...

I'm not gonna lie.

- Oh (groans) - God.

- I absolutely loved it.

That feeling of human contact

is something that I don't receive a lot.

- Oh. - Oh.

- So it was lovely

to feel that embrace.

I do feel quite...

happy. - Hug special, man. Hug special.

- It is very special, isn't it?

A woman then approached

claiming that he had pick pocketed her purse.

- He stole my purse.

- I was like, no, no, no,

this man's just offering free hugs.

But she was insisting.

- Okay, let's just calm down (woman yelling).

I went to radio.

No radio.

He then fled the scene (yells)

and I chased him in hot pursuit.

(man struggles) Come on, you. Up you go.

I grabbed him,

pulled him back to his feet.

Searched his bag, and sure enough,

there was a purse and my walkie talkie.

- [WOMAN] That's my purse.

- There you go, madam. Gareth!

- Dipped four times.

- Unbelievable. Four times. Thank you.

- Wanna a hug?

- That's the last time you hug anyone.

I'm still learning.

Every day is a school day.

If your school was dangerous

and full of criminals, which mean boys.

(upbeat music plays)

- [NARRATOR] Cops and canines combine

as PC Leanne Hunter

and PD Bonzo

work together.

- And we're going up

and we're going down.

Yeah. Bloody brilliant.

- [NARRATOR] To be the public's best friend.

(bites ice cream) (woman yelps) (man yelps)

- We've been partners for a long time.

We are technically the same in rank,

although I would say, he's probably superior to me,

in most areas.

Faster.

Stronger.

You know, sharper on the case.

More legs.

At a push, I'm probably better at paperwork.

But that's, I think... the only area

where I could possibly say, I outdo him.

- [NARRATOR] The police aren't slow to recognize

the best in show.

Today, the partners are called

to a medal ceremony with the chief.

Top dog (knocks door)

- [CHEIF COMMISSIONER CAMERON MIEKELSON] Come in now.

- [NARRATOR] meets top dog.

- Bonzo. There we go. What's your name?

- Leanne.

- Well, Leanne, have a seat.

Have a seat. - Nice to meet you.

- How are you? Bonzo.

- Here we go. Sit

- Man of the moment. Dog of the moment.

- Yes.

- So now we are...

did I detect a little accent there?

- Yeah, Australian.

- And what are you... find yourself here.

How did you get over here?

- I love dogs.

- Okay. There are no dogs in Australia.

You had to come here for...

- Scotland does dogs better.

Greyfriars Bobby for Scotland

or you know, Skippy for Australia?

You know, I kind of think

there's no comparison there.

Looking at Greyfriars Bobby.

I mean, he's loyal,

he's noble,

he's (indiscernible).

You go and rub his nose

when you, when you go to Edinburgh,

you know, 'cause it's, it's good luck.

And I think he's almost a role model

for a lot of young dogs.

Skippy on the other hand,

you know, what did he do?

Jumped.

- As a partnership, you and Bon...

That's the thing, isn't it?

It's you and Bonzo.

- Yes. - With the emphasis on Bonzo obviously.

Not that you are the junior.

I mean, I'm not downgrading you.

It's not like you know... (stammers)

- Yeah, I know.

- You are the auburn haired lassie from Abba

and, Bonzo's Agnetha.

So tell me about the incident.

- Well, we were in pursuit of a criminal

and it got to the point

that we had to go over a motorway

and Bonz here just shot right over, you know,

in the face of old oncoming traffic

and took him down in a Little Chef

on the other side of the road.

- That's why they're so good.

Because you wouldn't do that.

I mean... - No.

- You're not stupid enough to,

but he's stupid enough to.

- Brave. - Brave. Oh, I mean, exactly,

would be the word, - Yeah.

- that would be more appropriate.

Well, look, let's crack on.

This is an official ceremony,

so I'll put on my hat.

Here's the medal.

You don't get one yourself,

but it is for both of you. - Yeah, yeah.

- Come on, Bonz. - Okay, Bonz.

There we go, Sir, how are ya?

Thank you very much for your service, Bonzo.

Does he salute? Have you trained him to...

- I don't think... - salute?

- I don't think a dog's arm could.

- They can't salute,

but you can catch criminals in Little Chef.

And for that,

we thank you, sir.

Good. Leanne, absolute pleasure.

- Thank you. - Okay.

(inspirational music plays)

- [NARRATOR] Decoration for the police Alsatian.

And down the station, there's incarceration

for every celebration.

- Obviously throughout the year,

there are a lot of special occasions and...

But that doesn't mean that

the custody suite's any quieter.

Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas.

You can see a slight increase in crime.

Obviously, Mother's Day in particular.

Mothers who have assaulted fathers,

mothers who have assaulted other mothers.

Mothers who have just assaulted

members of the public.

Children will want to...

to mark that day by bringing gifts,

many of which, unfortunately, we can't pass on.

Your son, eh, sent you some pakora,

as a Mother's Day present.

Flowers are always tricky for us

and we can't allow vases.

If you wanna have a quick look at 'em.

Eh, that was nice, wasn't it?

Chocolates are also challenging for us.

We can't be certain that, eh,

that lovely looking box of black magic

isn't contained a very different kind of magic.

I mean, in a lot of ways,

the police year is very like the hallmark year.

If there's a day for it,

there's a crime for it.

If you can send a card for it,

I'm probably gonna bang someone up for it.

You have a nice Mother's Day night.

- [NARRATOR] When rural partners,

McIntosh and Mackay go hunting

for a needle in a haystack.

They bring out the fine toothed comb,

no question not worth asking,

something nothing-ey,

could turn into something something-ey.

- We were called out to,

what was essentially a fairly routine break in.

- Hi there. - Hi there. Zoe Ferguson?

- Yeah, there's definitely things missing.

The TV is gone.

A computer tablet.

- Does it have any covering

or distinguishing features on it?

- I stuck a big sticker on the front.

- Big sticker. - Just of a smile.

- Okay. - Just to remind me

to be happy, but it's gone now.

- Not much had really been taken,

a couple of bigger things,

but essentially they'd just kind of gone through

a lot of drawers and made a bit of a mess.

So we thought we'd probably leave it there.

- One of my spirit guides

might have seen something.

- You're a spiritualist,

is that right?

- I prefer chakra princess.

- Chakra princess, okay.

- The women somehow felt she was connected

to a spiritual world

and she called upon this connection she had.

Old Gordie.

Old Gordie. - Mm Hmm.

- Has he told you anything?

- Just give me a moment. - [PC JANE MACKAY] Mm Hmm.

- I'll just have to...

He's saying that

one of them

had a bonnet

as black as muck.

- Wow. - Bonnet as black, okay.

- Yeah. - Like similar to that one

or this one?

- Yeah.

- Yep, yep. Okay.

Yeah, there was another person.

The other one had a picture of a skull

on his thrapple.

- Oh, of course. - On the neck.

- So probably, probably a tattoo.

Old Gordie doesn't really...

he doesn't understand how culturally important

tattoos can be. - Okay.

- Yeah.

- He sees them just as,

as body pictures.

He always calls them because...

but I... - He's still...

- Well, year old dead people are like that.

Yeah, they were just out touch unfortunately.

It all sounded a little bit far fetched.

We thought maybe the only spirit

she's really dealing in was,

you know, a few, a few too many of them.

But actually I think she was perhaps

more credible than we gave her credit for.

- I think there's another spirit

that's coming to me now.

- Okay.

- Um, is that you Jean?

- Yes, yes, yes. It's me.

Oh, it's good to see you, Jean.

She's saying that she sees love in your future.

Something about the letter...

with the letter C. I'm seeing a C.

- What else is she saying?

What's her name?

Maybe we could speak to her some more.

- I think... I think she's leaving.

- How do we tap into the... (stammers)

the spirit there?

If we can get her... - You can't really tap in.

- I mean, I don't even know anybody

with a name beginning with C.

Nevermind anything...

Oh well, apart from Charlie, but...

- (laughs) Charlie, you know, the day we met was crazy.

- Oh Charlie, I love you.

That's what I'm gonna say tomorrow.

- Okay. - That's not gonna happen,

is it?

I can't even get the living

to be interested in love life,

nevermind the dead

(suspenseful music plays)

- [NARRATOR] One issue that's very much alive

for Chief Commissioner Cameron Miekelson

is a brand new IT system

that has given up the ghost,

but he ain't spooked.

- Okay? So, ah, look in the papers again.

Would you believe it?

It's something new every day

that I have to deal with.

We spent . million on a new IT company

to run the database

and it's been breached.

Now don't worry,

we haven't lost a lot of things.

We've got all the DNA.

We've got all the fingerprints.

What we've lost is all the left footprints.

Now you're a criminal.

Don't think you're gonna go out there

robbing places with two left shoes.

That's not gonna work.

'cause we'll be able to catch you by your limp, okay?

And if Peg Leg Parsons watching,

not gonna help you,

we will be watching you.

There we are.

. million down the drain.

Yeah, but look,

we've learned a lesson.

It's an expensive lesson,

but there you go.

I think we spent . million.

You want to either learn a lot of little lessons

or one very big lesson.

We've gone for one very big lesson.

Don't use those IT monkeys again.

(upbeat music plays)

- Even the finest minds are still learning.

And there's a new lesson in street skills

for human sat navs, McKirdy and Singh.

- You know, we have to help the public.

That's our job.

Sometimes you don't know how to help the public

or when to help the public.

And sometimes you're just bullied

into helping the public.

- I think take that should give up to her. I wanna show you.

- Yeah, I'd agree with that. - Aye.

- I don't like him, do you?

- No he's not.

(knocks window) (bike engine runs)

- Yes sir.

- Alright, do you know how you get

to Hawk Street?

- What you wanna do is go straight on,

take your first left.

- Yeah. - First on your right.

(bike engine runs) You just go in,

and there's a cul de sac. Are you having a curry, mate?

- See you later, mate. - See ya later.

(bike drives away)

Somebody's in for a tidy curry.

They... smell that, don't you?

- See, these tiny wee things?

You don't need to do a big massive thing.

It's little things.

- Aye - Brings you closer to the community.

- Doesn't it? - Makes you feel good.

Makes you feel warm inside.

(knocks window) So, you're back.

- You find it?

- You just sent us on a wild goose chase, man.

That is now your problem.

- Hey, get off my roof.

- Hey, you've got responsibilities.

- Get on (opens door)

- [PC SURJIT SINGH] Get that off my roof.

- Oh my god. Chicken Tikka Masala. Mix Pakora.

We're gonna have to chuck it.

- Chuck it? Let's see, it's somebody's takeaway.

Do you know how gutted these people will be

if they don't get the curry?

Do you know how delighted they'll be

when they find out we've turned up with

and they're delivered it safely?

Come on, let's get delivered. - Put your seatbelt on.

- It's only down there. - Put your seatbelt on.

- Get my seatbelt on. Let's go.

It smells bright, .

I'd be disappointed if my food never turned up.

In fact, I'd be absolutely devastated

if I had phoned for a curry,

nobody turned up.

I couldn't have it getting worse.

We're here to deliver your food.

It nearly never get delivered.

- Can you take that then? - No.

- Thank you, we can't accept that

from the public. - No, can't accept that.

- She did try to offer us money,

which obviously, we can't take.

I mean, I would've took a bit of pakora,

but she never offered it.

But that's just what happens sometimes.

You win some, you lose some.

- Still would've been a bribe. - I would've taken pakora.

- No you wouldn't. - I would've taken pakora,

even if it was cold.

It's not the first time I've turned up cold pakora.

- [NARRATOR] From tea time to breakfast time,

The Scot Squad are hungry for justice.

hours a day.

Copper around the clock

- In the place we work, shift work,

and it can be quite difficult.

You know, we work long days

and then into back shift,

night shift, and then,

back to day shift again.

Night shift. So it can get quite tiring.

That was tough, wasn't it? Long...

long night. - That was great.

- Got pumped after a lot of ruckus in the pub.

I go to the gym and I'm very physically active

so I've got the energy all the time.

Ready to go. I called sprint

and, well not everybody is... is like that.

Stayed up. Wasn't tired.

Just flicking through a channel.

I found this geology channel.

It was absolutely brilliant.

What's your favorite kinda rock, do you think?

- Just like a big one.

Sometimes it's hard not to fall asleep

in Jack's company.

- Many different colors of gray rock,

do you think there is?

We're all just rocks. Everything's just bits.

(car engine runs)

(car horn honks) (Sarah screams)

- Jack, what're you doing?

I'm tired.

You know nobody is sleeping

when you're up all night shampooing the upholstery.

That's right.

- That's not true.

- So this morning,

I'm actually appearing in a film,

a student film.

I'm helping out a local young student filmmaker.

Ah, I'm gonna be playing myself

and I'm looking forward to actually, it's good.

It's, you know, it's good PR,

it's good for the filmmaker,

it's good for the young communities.

- So what I'd like you to do

is just look straight into the camera.

- Okay. - And just say your line,

and in the line is,

the zombie crisis is now full blown crisis.

- Crisis. Yep. - (stammers) What would you

like to do with it?

Would you like to go over it a few times

or just wanna go straight?

- No, I can deal with it straight. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

- Once... - Yeah, brilliant.

you face Ben (indiscernible) in the Select Committee,

you can do this in a scootch.

Alright, so the zombie crisis is now a full blown crisis.

- [STUDENT FILMMAKER] Yeah. Perfect.

- And I'm just myself. - Be yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

- That's all we want.

So I'm Cameron Miekelson. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Gotcha. - Chief of Police of Scotland.

- Chief of Police of Scotland. - Yes.

(inhales)

- Alright, we sorted, we running? (beep)

- Right, great.

- The zombie... I'm actually thinking

about the line.

You don't want me to emphasize

particularly any word like, crisis!

- Oh, well it is really up to you.

It's your own instincts, you know?

- Sure, sure, sure. - Yeah.

- Oh, we good again. Right?

- The zombie crisis is now a full...

Actually, what about this?

I say, the zombie crisis is now a full blown crisis.

But don't panic, Chief Cameron Miekelson

has got everything under control.

Would that work for you?

- I feel very strongly

if we just stuck to the script.

Okay. I was just spit balling.

- I just wanted to throw something...

- I appreciate that a hundred percent. I did

- The zombie... I should be standing.

I should be standing. It's a crisis.

The zombie crisis is now a full blown...

- [STUDENT FILMMAKER] Can you say that a wee bit better?

- Panicked. I was going for panic.

The zombie crisis!

Zombie. Zombies!

Zombie.

Once you start saying a word that begin to...

Zombie.

I'm seeing Zumba. I'm seeing dancing.

The Zumba crisis. - [STUDENT FILMAKER] No.

- Zombies.

Zombies-by.

What if it Southern? - What?

- What if it is Southern American?

(in a Southern American accent) The zombie crisis

is now a full blown crisis.

- [STUDENT FILMMAKER] Scottish.

- (in a deep voice) The zombie crisis...

Actually, that's quite nice.

It's quiet but is that tense?

- No, it's about...

- [CHEIF COMMISSIONER CAMERON MIEKELSON] The zombie crisis.

- You know, kind of want, Miekelson. - Miekelson. Okay.

- [STUDENT FILMMAKER] Yeah, yeah.

- The zombie crisis is now a full blown crisis.

- Cut. Okay. - Got it?

- Yeah, we got it. Fantastic. Let's pack up.

- Well, it's a pleasure. Good luck with it.

- Thank you so much.

I enjoyed the filming,

but I'm worried about the end product.

I have to say, I don't think he got the best out of me.

The zombie crisis is now a full blown crisis.

You see, there's more in the tang.

(outro music plays)