03x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

(siren wailing)

- [NARRATOR] Coming up, major nudity...

- Have we caught you at a bad time?

- [NARRATOR] ...graphic language...

- Look at that van. Does that say "prick?"

- [NARRATOR] ...and scenes of a bedroom nature.

- Can you scratch my pinky?

- No, no. Oh!

- [NARRATOR] Extreme situations that call

for an extreme police response.

- Dream team. Dream team. (siren wailing)

- [NARRATOR] This is Scot Squad.

(upbeat rock music)

(car horns blaring)

Scotland's cops are constantly adapting to combat crime.

(siren wailing)

One man fully clued up on the evolution

of the crime fighter is the Charles Darwin

of law enforcement, Chief Commissioner Cameron Miekelson.

- Oh, the force has changed considerably

since I joined a few years ago now I can tell you,

but for the better.

You know, we're better equipped. It's fairer.

The younger recruits now, they're fitter, they're faster,

they're leaner, they're not taller.

I'll give you that. They are not taller.

And maybe, if you were to push me, call me old-fashioned,

but I think the only thing I regret about modern policing is

getting rid of the height restriction.

You know, I think, look, I think there's just something,

there's a certain gravitas isn't there?

With a gentleman over six feet tall, you know?

You're not any less of a man if you're under '".

You know, although technically you are.

There is just simply less of you.

You know, it's a question of authority. Look.

(phone ringing)

Who's taking this guy seriously?

But other than that, the force has definitely improved.

- [NARRATOR] On the big city streets,

the best are taking the concept

of policing better to bigger heights.

Street cops Sarah Fletcher and Jack McLaren

are using the full force of fairness.

- It's important to be inclusive in the police force

and be non-judgmental about people's lifestyles,

religion, backgrounds, all that sort of thing.

Even in the most, kind of, confusing circumstances.

We were responding to a burglary

and we were firstly confronted with a moody teenager.

- Mom, it's the police.

- And then down the stairs came the owner of the house.

- Good afternoon, police officers.

Thank you so much for coming. Thank you.

- [PC FLETCHER] And she was naked.

- I've seen more naked women than most, I would imagine,

but it's still a shock when you're not expecting it.

Usually I expect or instigate it, but it was a shock.

- Do you want me to put some clothes on?

- Uh, no, if that's how--

- You sure? I can easily put some clothes on--

- If you're comfortable, no--

- No, I'm very comfortable like this.

This is me all the time.

If you're uncomfortable, I'll--

- Are you a nature-ist? Is that what you do?

- [HOMEOWNER] Yes.

- Yes. - You okay with that?

- [OFFICER MCCLAREN] Cool, yes.

- That's fine. - [OFFICER MCCLAREN] Uh-huh.

Good. - So you've had a break-in.

- Yes. - [PC FLETCHER] Yes.

So if you want to take us to where the break-in--

- Yeah, we just--

- [PC FLETCHER] Over there?

- Wanna come this way? - [OFFICER MCCLAREN] Uh-huh.

- [PC FLETCHER] Yeah.

- When you're in someone's surroundings

and you're invited in,

you need to be as comfortable as they are

and make them feel comfortable.

So if she's in the buff,

we've not necessarily got to get into the buff,

but we've gotta be comfortable with that.

- We would always take our hats off

in entering someone's house,

but that's as far as I'm certainly prepared to go.

- Aye.

- So in here you maybe think,

did they come from up there or no?

- No, no, let me just show you, just--

- [OFFICER MCCLAREN] Okay. - [HOMEOWNER] Just over here.

- [PC FLETCHER] Yep.

- [OFFICER MCCLAREN] And that scratch,

that wasn't there before, no?

- [HOMEOWNER] You see any fingerprints?

- Um, no. No, not at the moment.

- Do you need a hand or anything, Jack?

- [HOMEOWNER] No. Fine.

And then down here.

- Uh-huh. Whoops.

Here, if you look, oh, sorry, I touched that.

- No, that's okay, um--

- [HOMEOWNER] Look down in there, there's DVDs.

- DVDs. Right.

(upbeat music)

- [NARRATOR] A naked ambition

to serve his community

is something Volunteer Officer Ken Beattie has in spades.

From pounding the pavement, to nailing noise nuisance.

- So, just pump up a bit.

- No, ma'am, don't pump anything up.

- [NARRATOR] Always keen to assist,

ever ready to wade in and lend a hand.

- In my job you need to always be ready

to help people at all times.

- [TOMMY] Help!

- Two secs, sir, I'm just coming for you.

- [TOMMY] Cheers.

(V.O. Beattie grunts)

- Are you okay, sir?

- [TOMMY] No, mate. Listen, I need your help.

It's the first on the right, mate. The door's open.

- So I rushed into action.

It transpired that this man had broken both his legs.

You know, he was bed bound,

so I went into the house and I offered my assistance to him.

- Ah, mate, go on and do us a favor?

- [V.O. BEATTIE] Oh, of course, sir.

- Go on, my telly remote. I can't reach it.

- Sorry. Sorry.

I'm Volunteer Officer Ken Beattie.

- Volunteer?

- Volunteer Officer Ken Beattie.

Can you, are your arms okay?

- Good for you mate. (Tommy yelling)

- [V.O. BEATTIE] Oh, God! Don't move.

Don't move. Are you okay?

- Can't even move, mate.

- What happened to you?

- The lady--

- I get very sore legs, as well, in my job.

I'm walking around a lot.

- [TOMMY] Aye?

- And yep, there you go.

- Ah, good man. - There you go.

- Just watch that. Watch that apple juice down there, mate.

- Okay. Apple juice--

- It's not apple juice! That's not apple juice, mate.

(television playing softly)

(Tommy sighs) - Can you scratch my pinky?

It's really, really itchy. My pinky toe.

- [V.O. BEATTIE] Scratch it?

- Aye. No, no, no, no, not your finger.

- Oh, sorry. Sorry.

- There's colored pencils or something.

Or a fork. I don't know, whatever you can get,

just bang the end a bit.

- [V.O. BEATTIE] There's plenty of things--

- Plenty of stuff you could podger it, mate.

Just find a wee podger, and go for it, mate.

- Do you want the rubber or the lead?

- Lead. Wee pointy bit.

- [V.O. BEATTIE] You sure?

- Give me some of that.

- It might be quite sore. - That's it.

Up and down, up and down. And a bit up.

(television playing softly) Oh, yes.

Tell me that action about it.

Oh, I already had dinner.

- I mean, if you're not too busy,

could, a wee cup of tea, mate?

The kitchen's just through there.

(V.O. Beattie grunts)

Honestly, honestly, I really appreciate this.

- It's no worries at all. No worries at all, sir.

- Straight through, mate. - Okay.

(uplifting music)

- [NARRATOR] No problem is too big or too small

for Desk Sergeant Karen Ann Millar,

and when it comes to problems,

whether she finds that problem herself...

- Hooray, Officer Karen.

- [NARRATOR] ...or the problem finds her...

- Where do you want these? Do you want them there?

Or behind the desk? Or I'll put them behind the toilet?

- [NARRATOR] ...she always makes the right call.

- Thanks very much, sir. Bye-bye.

(phone clicks)

- Morning, Officer Karen.

- How are you doing, Bobby?

- Look, I was wondering, I'm in a rush today,

I was wondering if you could help just

put my files up for my new business model.

- Alright.

- I know how you're always saying like, get motivated,

positive thoughts lead to positive thinking,

all that kinds of stuff.

- [SGT. MILLAR] Yeah.

- So can you put that up in the station?

Maybe put that down there for the customers?

- [SGT. MILLAR] Bobby Muir's speaking clock?

- Yeah. - Okay.

So what kinda business is that gonna be?

- Well, basically, see when you pick up your phone, right?

- [SGT. MILLAR] Uh-huh.

- See, if you dial that number--

- Yeah. - I'll tell you the time,

but I'll have a big chat with you as well.

- Okay.

Um, I mean that's a nice,

that's a nice kinda positive suggestion.

I'm not sure exactly where the money-making element

is of that particular business model?

- It's baby steps innit?

I was also thinking as well, like,

see if you wanted to stop smoking and you couldn't stop--

- [SGT. MILLAR] Mm-hm.

Then I hang about with you and every time you go to smoke,

I, like, slap it out your hand.

But I wanted wouldn't do it, like, bad.

I'd be like, what are you smoking for, eh?

I thought you wanted to stop?

And then, I was thinking about having like,

you know how all these kinda fancy places

are starting to open up?

- It's like, punting gravy, 'cause I love gravy.

- A gravy restaurant? - No, gravy van.

Like, drive a bit in a van and just punt it.

Or a cinema pal.

Like do you know how sometimes you go to the cinema--

- Uh-huh.

And, you know, you've not got a pal?

Well if you phone my number, I would be your pal.

I'll go to a cinema with you.

- I mean, yeah, that's a nice idea.

I mean, you're probably gonna find that you're only going

to be able to have one customer at a time,

so you'd probably have to charge them quite a lot,

'cause you know, what you're looking for

is strong income potential, a good strong income stream.

And that means that you're busy,

you're out there, out there doing business,

outside, you know, and that's great.

- Thank you very much Officer Karen.

I'm gonna go away and, honest to God, right? I swear.

See, the next time you see me, I'm gonna be on my way now.

- In that case, I'll probably not see you tomorrow.

- Hey, and I don't forget my pals, Officer Karen,

so see you later, eh?

- [SGT. MILLAR] See you later, Robert.

- Bye, see you, Officer Karen.

- [NARRATOR] In today's Scotland,

not only do the Scottish police force deal

with today's criminal,

they must recruit to stay ahead

of the criminal of tomorrow's world.

A world that is already here today.

- My name's Archie Pepper.

I'm the head of the force's, and, let me get this right,

our Covert Inadvertent Alert Investigation Unit.

It's a unit. I'm the head of the unit.

Basically, if some fanny commits a crime

and then brags about it on Facebook, I take screenshots.

You do need certain qualifications,

but this is, it's a little different what I do.

Yeah, I didn't go to like police academy

or anything like that, or police university.

You know, I went to the University of Hard Knocks.

You know, Dundee. I did graphic design.

But I didn't just walk out of uni and into the job.

I had a job before.

You know, I was an ice cream correspondent for Buzzfeed,

but you know, it has parallels.

reasons mint chocolate chip

is an underrated ice cream flavor.

reasons your Uncle Barry's a roaster

and he is getting to jail.

The good thing is you don't need official qualifications

when people are just gonna write on Facebook.

"Just robbed a bank, lol."

You just take a screenshot and get on with your day.

(upbeat music)

- [NARRATOR] Back at the buck-naked break-in,

Officers McLaren and Fletcher hope

that the evidence reveals as much as the victims.

- There was some DVDs of whatever nature

and the laptop, most importantly, which was--

- Contained a lot of holiday photos and personal,

you know, family photos.

- Which are all gonna look the same, '

'cause of, obviously in the scud.

- [HOMEOWNER] We haven't touched any--

- Oh, there's another one.

- [PC FLETCHER] Is this your, um, this is your--

- This is--

- Hello, officers. Thanks for coming.

- This is Jack. - [PC FLETCHER] Hi.

- Jack.

- Yeah, yeah, nice to meet you, Jack.

- I'm Jack, too. Yeah.

That's plenty similarities, then.

- Want me to bring tea around?

- No, absolutely fine.

We'll just get this investigated--

- And I don't know what's happened with this.

- Then there was a broken vase on the table

that had blood on it, which we established pretty quickly,

wasn't their blood.

Definitely not your blood?

- [JACK] Definitely. - No.

- That's brilliant news because that's SOCO.

- SOCO? Who's SOCO?

- Scenes of Crimes.

Different department than us,

so that's-- - It's not us.

- It's not our jurisdiction.

- We're just bodies that, I mean,

we're people that go on the...

- Scenes of crime can go in there

and do their stuff find DNA,

which was a proper result for us,

I mean, we could get to,

'cause it's not our department.

- So, oh, there's a wee here there, as well.

- Well that's not one of yours, either?

- Oh, no, not mine.

Not mine. Definitely not. - Definitely not.

- Maybe should've had a wee shave this morning, Jack?

- So, we'll get that seen to, as well,

so it'll rule out if it's anything to do

with either of you.

- Thanks very much for your help.

- [OFFICER MCCLAREN] Take care, cheers, thank you.

- Thank you. Bye-bye. - Thank you, Jack.

Like me to help you there? (skin slaps)

- [JACK] Yeah, you can dry.

- [HOMEOWNER] Okay, cheers.

- We like to think that, in every circumstance,

we treat everyone equally

and we will handle everyone in the same way.

- [NARRATOR] Meanwhile, the cleanup continues for Beattie.

- I ended up cleaning for him

because it was incredibly messy.

You know, there was stuff everywhere.

- Doing a grand job, Kenny boy. Cheers, man.

- Okay. I do the washing for the prostit*tes once a month.

They bring all their laundry to me.

So that's why I'm so good at ironing.

So I was hoovering and ironing and washing,

you know, just general police work really.

(can hisses)

- There's nice smell off that, innit?

- Yeah, mm, hurts, actually.

So tell me, what exactly is it you do for work?

- Well, just kinda like used to do deliveries and that.

- Deliveries for the Chinese or Indian?

I'm quite partial to Chinese.

- No, like deals and that.

- Deals? - Mm-hm.

- Like, um, watches or socks?

- Drugs.

- Excuse me? - [TOMMY] Aye, drugs.

- Drugs?

Drug, you don't...

It turned out that he was a drug dealer,

which was quite a shock to me.

You know, I'd been helping a drug dealer,

which is something I'd never thought would've happened.

Oh, my God, I can't believe I've been cleaning up after you,

you scumbag, you drug dealer.

Yeah, there you go. How did you like that?

I've been running around after you--

Then his mother came back.

- No! Ow! - Tell you what.

Don't touch that. There you go.

Try and watch the TV now, Mr. Drug--

(door slams)

- [MOTHER] What's going on here?

- [V.O. BEATTIE] I'm Volunteer Officer Ken Beattie.

- [MOTHER] Right.

- Pleasure to meet you.

- Yank?

What are you doing here?

- Well, I was helping your son tidy up your house, actually.

- Are you trying to say I've got a dirty house?

- I'll tell you something. Your son is a drug dealer.

- Aye. How do you think his legs got broken?

- Might want to watch out when you're doing the stairs.

- Turns out she actually pushed him down the stairs

and she threatened to do something quite similar to me.

So I ended up staying for another five hours,

cleaning up the house some more.

Maybe I'll think twice about helping someone

because anyone could be a drug dealer.

And that's what I've learned from that.

I could be a drug dealer. Definitely not a drug dealer.

- Well, of course,

I can only enforce the laws that are currently in place.

You know, the laws is fluid.

For instance, at the moment alcohol is legal,

cannabis is ill*gal.

That that could change.

You know, currently, there's a prohibition on cannabis.

As do, well, America's the example here.

There used to be a prohibition on alcohol.

It's told in The Untouchables, you remember the film.

Big Sean, you know, is the Irish American cop.

Remember the line?

He puts one of yours in the hospital,

you put one of his in the morgue.

Classic old-school policing, I like to say.

And then of course at the end of that movie,

the wee lad saying,

"Elliot, Elliot, they might be repealing prohibition."

And then he goes,

"What you do, I'll have a drink then."

That could be us tomorrow. Cannabis could be legal.

Now, do I immediately spark up a big doobie?

Unlikely. Never say never.

- [NARRATOR] A breaking crime situation is escalating.

It's time for Archie Pepper, covert cop...

- Screenshot. You're going down.

- [NARRATOR] To infiltrate the web

and penetrate the cyber wall.

- Okay so we've just got word through

that there's been a robbery of a jewelry shop

and a diamond necklace has gone missing.

So, down on the ground, they'll be trying to, you know,

run around, put up wanted posters, whatever they do,

and, easiest way, just start searching online.

You know, keywords. Diamonds, necklace.

There's certain things just pop up,

crop up now and again.

You know, like, um,

"Spoiled again, he knows me so well," that kind of thing.

So just start peppering that search bar

with words like that.

And let's go for "lucky girl," "diamonds."

(keyboard clacking)

Okay, so what have we got here? Diamonds, fae bae.

Chelle Duncan. There you go. A picture of the necklace.

Let's find out who bae is.

Give me five minutes so I can crack this one.

Honestly, it's an absolute piece of pie,

so you'd be amazed.

Eh, up, here we go. Man in a suit.

He's got his arm around her in a way that suggests

they're not blood relations or casual acquaintances.

I think it's your bog standard bae. That's such a bae photo.

Let's get them. Okay, John. That's his name?

John. He is bae. We've got bae.

There we go. John Osborne. Let's add him.

Here we go. John, straight away again,

a hundred percent record.

There we go. There he is.

Just checked in at Kreme Krunch two minutes ago.

So I'm just, I'll just get on the phone.

Get the boys to go sort him out.

Check yourself into the jail, John.

You're going down for a very long time.

Yeah, that's just one way of doing it.

And most of my time is spent just sitting here,

just waiting for people to hand themselves in.

You know, don't call me a hero.

You know, these people are clowns.

(upbeat music)

- [NARRATOR] Scotland's ring roads

can be a circus of shoddy driving.

Road ringmasters Hugh McKirdy and Surjit Singh

have the street skills to fix the fuss.

- That's not yours, boy.

- I'm , I had it for a year.

- You're ? - [PC MCKIRDY] Aye.

- You're a bit tender, wee man.

- [NARRATOR] Inspecting the unacceptable,

spotting the signs.

- Honestly,

you see some sights when you're patrolling

about the streets.

Look at that van. Does that say...

Does that say "prick" at the back of that van? Says rat--

- [PC SINGH] Yeah.

- That's fine.

Wasn't any normal type of van.

It had been absolutely abused.

- Look, he's got more written on the side.

- [PC MCKIRDY] as*h*le, shagger.

- Alright, pull-- (PC McKirdy laughs)

- Don't know if I want to meet you.

(siren wailing)

Excuse me, sir,

you need to come to the side of the road.

Come out of your van. - [DRIVER] Okay?

- It's just a bit offensive, all these on the side, there.

- Alright. Oh, aye, that.

- "as*h*le." - Yeah.

- "Shagger." - Aye.

- Alright, want to come and explain this?

- Um, aye, it's fine. It's easy to explain.

It's the wife that's done this.

- Right, the wife. - [DRIVER] The wife, yeah.

- Your wife?

- My wife, yeah. The wife. My wife.

- Right.

- [DRIVER] It's got her written all over it, to be honest.

- [PC MCKIRDY] Yeah?

- It's "shagger," "prick," "slimeball."

- [PC MCKIRDY] Right. - [DRIVER] Prick.

- She calling you a shagger? She calling yourself a--

- Aye, me. Me. That's me.

- [PC MCKIRDY] You're the shagger.

- I'm the shagger.

- Why? Why is she calling you that?

- Well I've been playing away from home a wee bit, you know.

Well it was with her sister.

- What? - Yeah. Aye. I know.

- Hold on.

You've been having an affair with your wife's sister?

- Yeah. Yeah. I'm the shagger.

- Your sister-in-law? (PC McKirdy laughing)

- Yes. I love women. I love the female form, you know.

- Trousers are all ripped up.

- [DRIVER] Aye. She did that, as well.

She didn't stop at the van.

- [PC MCKIRDY] Have you not got a spare pair

of trousers you could've worn today?

- She's kind of done it to all of them.

- All of your clothes have-- - Aye.

- [PC MCKIRDY] How'd you manage to get out of this?

- I've got good people skills. I'm quite a charmer.

- It's as easy as that?

- Aye. Very charismatic.

- We did advise him to take his van back to his house.

There's no way we could let him drive

about the streets with that bad language

on the side of his van.

Rat isn't as offensive as prick.

- [DRIVER] Aye.

- Superheroes named after rats.

- Aye.

- You don't get superheroes named after pricks.

- Is it Roland Rat?

- Right? Don't got Roland Prick.

- No, no. That would just be inappropriate.

- To be honest, we can't have this on the road.

Have you got another mode of transport, by any chance?

- I've got a car back at the house. Yeah.

- Okay, let's get you back to your house.

- [DRIVER] See yous there?

- [PC SINGH] Aye, yeah, we'll be right behind you.

(uplifting music)

- [NARRATOR] The Scottish Police Force Command Center

provides the essential info Scotland needs.

- Old people smell. It's just not a police matter.

- Maggie LeBeau gives crucial advice to the public so

that they can sleep safe in the knowledge that

that knowledge is keeping them safe.

- I feel really sorry for people

who get caught out by scams.

I really do, but the simple rule is,

don't give your credit details out over the phone.

Often you'll get a celebrity phoning you.

You know, it's will.i.am phoning

to say he wants you on The Voice,

and that he's spinning in his chair as he speaks to you.

Don't believe him.

We find that celebrities rarely call the public.

They're just not interested in the public.

So, just remember that. You're not interesting.

You're a no one. You're not lucky. You're not a winner.

Remember that, and you'll do fine.

(upbeat music)

- Today, a very important entry in the diary,

seeing the P.M., not the prime minister, the pipe major.

Because, amongst my myriad of duties,

I have to personally choose and approve

of all the tunes that the police pipe band play

when they enter a competition.

And the boys have a big competition coming this weekend,

so I'm gonna listen.

I'm gonna do it right here.

Make the choices right in this room so

that I don't lose any valuable desk time.

(traditional bagpipe music)

Some of them choose themselves, of course.

I'm particularly partial to Highland Laddie.

Mairi's Wedding, it's a bit on the nose,

but you can't do without it.

The Hills of Kintail, of course. Spectacular.

But I'm thinking of throwing a curve ball this year.

Mixing things up

and maybe see if the lad can do something contemporary.

(bagpipes playing "Single Ladies" by Beyonce)

Yeah. Keep up. Keep up.

(Chief Miekelson whistling)

(upbeat music)

- [NARRATOR] From Single Ladies, to the ladies' man.

The cops move to replace the defaced vehicle

so this cheat in the sheets can get back on the streets.

- [PC MCKIRDY] Yeah, it's not good, is it?

- [DRIVER] No, it's not.

- [PC MCKIRDY] What are you gonna do about it?

- I'll swap that for the car. I've got a car.

(garage door clunking)

Ah, for (beep) sake. No (beep).

t*ts, as well. That's new.

- [PC SINGH] I thought they were eyes.

- She's never--

- No, they're t*ts. I know her.

- I thought 'cause she'd seen you, she'd--

- It's open to interpretation.

It's like a bit of art, you know.

- I'm watching you. - [DRIVER] Yeah, yeah.

Well, or the woman that you are cheating with,

like that sort of--

- [DRIVER] I'm watching her.

- Anyways, we'll come back to the car

and we'll get the details.

- Okay. Aye.

- We'll get everything we need.

You might want to, well, I was gonna say,

you might want to close that over,

but not with what's on the door.

- No, it's--

- Having a affairs, that's not against the law,

but abusing somebody's property, vandalism, that is.

- [DRIVER] Right, cheers. Cheers.

- [PC MCKIRDY] So we have to deal with that thoroughly.

- Hopefully they can patch things up, you know,

'cause no one wants to see a breakup.

- Wee man did not look like a shagger, I'll tell you that.

(upbeat music)

- [NARRATOR] Not all partnerships are made in Heaven,

but rural cops Charlie McIntosh

and Jane Mackay form a dream duo.

- [PC MCINTOSH] Get down, get down.

- [NARRATOR] Whether it's tearing

after hoods on the hillside...

- [PC MCINTOSH] Come back! Stop!

- [NARRATOR] ...or breaking for a breather by the roadside.

- I don't know if you are aware of this,

but it's actually our three-year anniversary.

- Ah, yes, yes. - You know, as partners.

- Yeah, I remembered.

- Yeah. I've actually bought you something.

- No way. I've got you something, too.

- Just a wee thing.

- I didn't know when to give it to you.

I thought I'd wait 'til the end of the shift, but--

- Well, yeah, I've got a great thing here.

It was just a little thing, but--

- Me, too. Me, too.

Right, I'll give you mine first, alright?

- Okay. - Okay, close your eyes.

- Oh.

- Okay, I think you're gonna love it.

Ta-da!

- Oh!

- [BOTH] A Trio.

- Yes. - Biscuit.

- Like, one, two, three. Three years.

- Oh, wow.

♪ Trio, trio ♪

- Thank you. (PC Mackay laughs)

Oh, thank you.

I had to go to, like,

two villages away to be able to get them

because they don't sell them like everywhere.

- I didn't think they even made them anymore,

but just makes it all the more special.

Thank you. I will treasure it.

- I was gonna give you the whole packet,

but I ate the rest, so--

- Ah. (PC McIntosh laughs)

- Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Do you like it?

- I love it. - You can save it 'til later.

- Thank you. - Okay. What did you get me?

- Ah, it's not really, I don't even know if it's worth it.

Really, you've really trumped me there--

- You should, please, please.

That's not fair, I gave you a present.

- I know, I'm kind of embarrassed there--

- I should get a present.

- Okay, you don't need to give it to me.

- Okay, it's just, remember, it's just a wee thing.

It's not, you know.

I'm just glad we were on the same wavelength.

- Is this-- - Here you go.

(paper crinkling) - This is a handbag?

- Yeah, just, it's just a handbag.

- No, it's actually a Mulberry handbag.

- Is that a good one? I--

- That's beautiful. - Well.

- Charlie, those are worth a fortune.

Where did, you didn't buy this, did you?

I mean, you bought it,

but you bought it in a sale or something, right?

- Well, I mean, I wouldn't spend that money obviously--

- I've always wanted a designer bag.

That is so nice. Thank you so much.

Oh, that is, but seriously-- - What?

- Like, it is too much, though.

- Yeah, no, no, don't worry. I didn't buy it.

I got it from the evidence lockup room.

- What?

- I don't think you're allowed just

to take things from the evidence.

- Oh, no,

I know the guy on the desk there

and they said no one's claimed it

and it's not gonna be used.

- Oh, so it's like,

after a certain amount of time, you can get things back--

- He said, "Hey, Charlie..."

Yeah. So there you go. It's yours, regardless.

- Charlie, thank you so, so much!

- Yeah!

- I'm gonna pop it back there so it keeps nice and safe.

(PC Mackay smooches) - Oh, thank you!

- Oh, I'm so sorry I only got you a biscuit.

- What? No, a bag and a biscuit. I mean--

- Yeah, but I should've at least given you all the biscuits.

- I'm just glad you like the bag.

- Thank you. Thank you. I love the bag.

(upbeat rock music)

(Chief Miekelson laughing)

- Oh, hey!

(arcade game blooping)

- Well, yes, a little bit of controversy

that I've used police funds to purchase

this vintage Pac-Man machine.

I think it's the very model that I played at police college.

Wonder if it still has my top score.

(PC Miekelson laughing)

No, but seriously, it's,

playing Pac-Man is absolutely vital training

in police pursuit procedure.

Some of the first criminals that your young Bobby

on the beat meets and confronts

is the shoplifter in the supermarket.

Your shoplifter is running up the cheese aisle.

You're pursuing him,

and then he takes a left,

double backs down mixed spices in home baking.

Do you follow him or do you double back yourself?

Cutting down through fruit and vegetable,

thinking, "I'll cut him off at toiletries."

So that's the kind of decision,

the life and death decision

that a young Bobby has to take

on frontline policing every day,

and playing Pac-Man is vital in training.

- [NARRATOR] The training never stops,

nor do the Scott Squad.

(upbeat rock music)

(sirens wailing)