02x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

(dramatic music) (police siren blares)

- Coming up. - h*!

- [NARRATOR] A thief has trouble with his fence.

- Ow, my baws!

(police siren blares)

- [NARRATOR] A roadside rammy delivers a shock.

- My car. - How dare you?

- How dare you!

(siren blares)

- [NARRATOR] And a volunteer officer pounds a new beat.

(Ken sings)

(drum bangs)

- [OFFENDER] You cannae arrest me.

- [NARRATOR] Just another big shift

for the men and women of the Scottish Police Force.

- Don't go relaxing.

We're on you.

- [NARRATOR] This is "Scot Squad".

(exciting music)

(siren blares)

(traffic hums) (car horns blare)

As the world moves online,

no one is safe from cyber crime,

not even the Chief Commissioner

of the Scottish Police Force.

Cameron Miekelson is hacked off at being hacked into.

- Oh, no, I tell you,

the week I've had,

the whole system, computer system, IT, went collapsed.

Yeah.

Some hacker, or rogue state, as we now think,

targeted the system, got in there, hacked in.

Next thing I know,

all my emails

being released to the press, you know.

Just...

It's North Korea.

It's definitely North...

Because I said last week,

when there was a protest at Glasgow, I said,

"Of course they can protest,

we don't round them up and put them in camps,

much as we'd like to.

It's not North Korea.

I'm not Kim Jong Un."

Soon as I said it, alarm bells are ringing.

I get into work the next morning,

whole screen gobbledygook.

You know, these emails, they're private,

and this is banter, you know.

It's not public policy,

just because I'm talking to my colleague Sandy

and going, (laughs)

"(bleep) the English Police".

It's just... (laughs)

We're having a laugh.

That's not what I actually think.

Look at the photo, look at that wee photo.

So, I photoshopped Alex Salmond's head on Jabba the Hutt.

Alex would be fine with that,

I know Alex, I play golf with the boy.

I copied him in!

He's fine with it,

but oh, it's all over the place.

I don't know what we're gonna do.

(exciting music)

- [NARRATOR] Scotland's streets,

where the tiniest prank can lead to the majorest dust-up,

and where careless motorists

find themselves on a collision course

with traffic cops Singh and McKirdy.

- Aye, aye.

- A minor collision there, actually.

I'll just go and double check, see it's all right.

Sometimes, it's the little incidents

that become the most memorable.

We were driving along this morning

and we came across a minor RTC.

It turned out to be one of the best mornings of my life.

- [JAMES] How is it not your fault?

- Because you were coming from nowhere,

and I thought you were waving me on.

- Off the main road?

- What actually happened was this young chap James,

car from the side street had pulled out

and banged into the side of him, really.

And James-

- It was Michelle McManus' motor.

Is it you?

It's Michelle McManus.

- I've no idea who Michelle McManus is.

- You all right, what's happening,

you all right? - I'm fine,

but this clown's trying to blame me for this accident.

There's no way it's my fault.

- [JAMES] You came off a little side road.

- [MCKIRDY] Just calm down just now.

- Let's get a full story, okay?

What actually happened?

- Honestly, this joker, he's at it,

it was totally not my fault.

- In this job, you expect to deal with the public,

but you never think you'll ever deal with

"Pop Idol" winner Michelle McManus,

number one hit with "All This Time".

- Do you two know each other, are you friends?

- It's Michelle McManus, she was on "Pop Idol".

- What's "Pop Idol"?

- Oh, my God, mate, you kidding me on?

"Pop Idol".

It was like the original,

the original "X Factor",

see before all that...

All the "X Factor" stuff.

"Pop Idol", what was it like, weren't it?

- Aye, it was,

it was brilliant. - She won it, she won it!

- I did, I won it. - Brilliant, man.

- Apparently, she's some sort of celebrity.

- The first one was Will Young.

- That's right. - Which was ,

were you ? - I was .

♪ All this time ♪

♪ Oh, we've come a long, long way ♪

♪ I waited a lifetime for the day ♪

- Oh, you know the words! - I know all the words!

We should go to "Pop Idol" reunions or something like that.

- McKirdy, McKirdy.

You're on duty here, okay?

- Ah, right, aye, sorry, I need to be...

- Professional, okay.

- Need to maintain professional and that.

- Can I just take your name, please?

- Yeah, sorry, it's Michelle-

McManus. - Michelle McManus.

M-C-M-A-N

U-S?

- Yeah, that's right. - Sorry, was that Mac or Mc?

- M-C's right, yeah.

- McManus, M-C-M-A-N-U-S.

So, how's everything else?

You got any concerts lined up, or...

- Oh, yeah, I've got such a big gig coming up.

- You were on "The Hour" as well.

- That's right, I know.

- What'd they stop "The Hour" for?

- I know, it was ITV, it was nothing to do with me.

- Bad, man.

I wonder if there's any chance I can maybe

get a wee selfie with you,

would that be all right? - Oh, yeah, no,

that'd be lovely, that would be amazing.

- Maybe not just yet, let's sort this out first.

- Aye, hold on, just making sure...

Hey, you, buster.

Obviously, her being Michelle McManus,

that did not in any way influence how I policed today.

I know what's happened.

You've seen it's Michelle McManus,

you've been obviously clearly started.

You've maybe wanted a picture with her

or something like that.

- I have no idea who she is.

- What? - She's just a woman

who drove into my car. - How dare you?

How dare you?

- [JAMES] What?

- [SINGH] Calm yourself.

- How dare you?

Aye, we're gonna...

- So, we've had a discussion, and it's...

Sorry, your name again?

- Michelle.

- It's not a huge damage done, okay?

So, it's a civil matter.

We won't get involved in this.

I won't write you up a ticket, so you're fine.

If you exchange insurance details with James,

we can get this all sorted out, okay?

- (sighs) Just...

- I'm sorry, what was your name again?

- Michelle, Michelle. - Michelle.

- I carried out my policing this morning by the book,

how I would if I turned up to

any other road traffic collision.

- Oh, oh, oh! - That'd be funny,

wouldn't it? - Look at me!

(both laughing) - McKirdy.

(both laughing)

- There you go, you suit that ano, too.

- Oh, thanks very much.

- I know, you do suit that.

- McKirdy, you're still on duty.

Keep your hat on.

- Thanks very much. - Oh!

- Oh, thank you. - Oh, that's tight, ooh!

- Thank you, thank you,

thank you. - Watch your hands.

Thanks. - See you later,

Michelle, all right?

Mum?

Mum, guess who I got my picture with.

Michelle McManus.

- Got an update on the North Korea situation.

Turns out it wasn't North Korea, rather embarrassingly.

It was a wee lassie called Karen,

daughter of a woman I've been dating.

Didn't return the mother's calls.

Lassie takes revenge on me,

so embarrassment all round.

But I think it justifies my position with the woman.

She's clearly not brought up her child correctly.

(exciting music)

(police siren blares)

- [NARRATOR] Criminals are always on the run.

When a lawbreaker gives it legs,

PCs Jack McLaren and Sarah Fletcher

have a surefire method of catching the crook.

Give it even more legs.

- I'm very, very fast.

In a lot of situations, I'm faster than a car.

- I mean, I don't know if I'm faster than a car

because I've not been allowed to chase anyone. (laughs)

But that's... - I don't...

I don't think you are.

But then that's...

That's teamwork, isn't it?

(Jack laughs)

- All right, Officer. - Eh?

Who you running fae, pal?

- Was looking for my dog, mate.

- A dog, aye? - Aye.

That your dog you dropped in a bag back there, was it?

- A bag, what you talking about, a bag?

(police siren blares)

- Well, we'll be finding out.

I caught him,

and Sarah went round the other side of the park

in a kind of pincer movement in the car.

- Jack, what have you done?

- He's put himself behind bars.

(Jack laughs) - Oh, dear.

Right, what's... - Right.

He dropped a bag back there,

so I'll go and have a look for that, right?

- It's just a packed lunch, mate.

Honestly, aye. - Well, I'm hungry.

- It's just a couple of pieces.

There's nothing in it, mate, honestly.

Oh, for...

- Right, what's your name, pal?

- Lo, Logan

Simpson.

- Logan.

Right. - Go.

Ah, ah!

Ow, my baws!

Ah!

- Okay.

Don't shout that in the park.

- Sorry.

- Right, we'll wait for Jack, right.

- Right, aye.

- Do you want me to...

- Would you?

- I could take the weight off you.

- That would be... - I mean...

- That would be great, if you don't mind.

- Probably shouldn't, but...

- Oh!

Oh.

Thanks very much.

Ah.

- What you get up to last night, or...

- What'd I get up to last night?

- Yeah.

- Just watching some film on

one of the channels.

- Well, last night, I just put the telly on to watch

one of the, like, baking programs.

- Oh, aye? - Yeah.

- There's lots of those things on now,

with the chefs. - I do a bit of

amateur baking, and...

- Really? - Yeah.

I mean, I've got some of my cakes with me today,

if you wanted to... - Oh, yeah?

- Jack won't try them, so...

- Oh, no, listen, I'd love to get my teeth into your...

The cakes, I'd love to. - Yeah, my cakes, yeah.

- That would be...

I'll try them.

- Okay. - Right.

Oh.

Mm-hmm. (laughs)

Mm. (Sarah laughs)

That's a big bit.

- [NARRATOR] While Fletcher feeds his cake hole,

this perp's staying put.

(tense music)

Meanwhile, Volunteer Officer Ken Beattie

feels the rhythm of the city street

and steps in to assist a cash-strapped busker

and avert a drummer drama.

- Well, in this line of work, you never know

what's gonna happen.

And today, a rather attractive young lady,

who was playing the drums rather well.

(drum bangs)

- You all right?

- It was very good.

- You enjoying that? (laughs) - Quite loud, but...

- Listen...

I'm bursting for the toilet.

Would you... - Oh, dearie me.

- Sorry, would you watch this stuff for a minute?

- Oh, yeah, of course I will, yes.

- I'll be dead, dead quick, honest.

(Ken clears throat)

I was more than happy to step in and fill the breach,

just to watch her stuff.

But then things took a slight strange turn and...

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm just guarding the drum kit and money.

Oh, no.

Okay, no, no, you can't put, don't put money...

Don't do that.

Please, take... - Give us a song.

♪ A right wee lass, a bonnie wee lass ♪

♪ Was bonnie wee Jeannie McCall ♪

- I was more than happy to do my duty.

♪ I gave her my mother's engagement ring ♪

♪ In a bonnie wee tartan shawl ♪

I didn't think my duty involved playing drums.

♪ Blood on your face ♪

♪ You big disgrace ♪

♪ Kicking your can all over the place ♪

♪ Singing we will, we will rock you ♪

(drum bangs)

Eh...

♪ Never forget where you're coming from ♪

♪ Never pretend that it's all real ♪

- [BUSKER] You having fun? (laughs)

- Never,

ever do that to me again!

Okay?

- Sorry! - And I hope

you washed your hands, young lady!

Probably was one of the

most embarrassing experiences of my life,

since the log flume incident at Loudoun Castle.

- First thing to say about freedom of information

is that it's not technically free.

It actually costs us,

I think it's roughly £. per request.

So, we have to decide how free is the information

and which information should be freest, as it were.

Obviously, we want to release

the figures for car crime in Midlothian,

but do we release figures for

how many taxis I take home per week, you know?

I think it was George Orwell

that said, "Freedom is the right to tell people

what they don't want to hear."

And I don't think the people want to hear

how many taxis I take home a week.

Then again, you know, Bob Dylan,

he said, "No one's free.

You know, even the birds are chained to the sky."

So, you've got a number of opinions.

The only one we're pretty sure shouldn't hold is,

"I'm free,

free to do what I want any old time."

Well, let me tell The Soup Dragons, you're not, okay?

(uplifting music)

- [NARRATOR] For the people of Scotland,

Maggie LeBeau is a calm and reassuring voice.

- Police emergency, how can I be of assistance?

How can I be of assistance?

How much of the Japanese plum wine had he drank

before that happened?

- [NARRATOR] Maggie rolls back the stone

on an Aladdin's cave of gratitude.

- If you want to just follow me in here.

This here is the thank you room,

and that's where we put all the gifts that people give us,

just to say thank you for helping them out

in their hour of need.

Now, we can't accept gifts,

so what we do is we auction all of these off,

and the proceeds actually go to a charity

which helps rehabilitate ex-offenders.

Which is slightly ironic, I guess,

because the person who committed the crime

I dealt with on the phone

might be the person who benefits from this teddy.

But that's fine.

It's the thought that counts.

(uplifting music)

- [NARRATOR] From plenty of presence

to presently preceding presentation to the prosecutor,

as Jack presents the perp with proof

of his unprincipled profession.

- Thanks for sticking around.

Found your bag. - Why?

You sure that's my bag?

- That's definitely the bag that you dropped.

Nine mobile phones.

- Aye, you know, it's...

- [JACK] Nine mobile phones?

So, what, have you got nine girlfriends?

Unlikely.

- Have you got nine girlfriends?

- Scottish Jack Bauer?

Unlikely.

- [LOGAN] I never stole them, man.

- [JACK] Just fess up, mate, you stole.

- Logan. - What?

- Really?

- We'll get the Fire Brigade.

- Wait.

- My feet, here.

You should try that lassie's cakes, by the way,

they're magic. - No, too much sugar.

- We could... - Do what?

- Take the cream off. - Uh-huh.

- And...

Lubricate him.

- Lube him up.

- And push him out.

- Sentence I never thought I'd say the day at work.

We were going to call the Fire Brigade,

but then that's a waste of an emergency service,

when we could just use our partnership, our teamwork,

which luckily, we had some lube.

- Just get it rubbed right in there, that's it.

Ah!

- Quick! - Come on, then.

Right, do that. - Right, you pull.

- Pull!

Ow!

Ow, my feet, ow!

- Watch his face, Jack. - Oh, I'm coming!

I'm coming, ah! - Jesus!

- Ah!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Careful, Jack.

- It's all right.

That was good thinking, that was good police work, there.

Ah! - Shut up.

- Hey, listen, they cakes were amazing.

- You really liked them? - Aye, honestly.

- [JACK] Move it.

- Maybe you could bake me one with a wee file in it.

(Sarah and Logan laugh)

- [NARRATOR] Thanks to the partnership

of police officers McLaren and Fletcher,

the trapped man is now finally free

to go straight to jail.

(tense music)

(exciting music)

Meanwhile, the chief gets set to salute have-a-go heroism.

- I am just about to meet a member of the public, a hero.

Apparently, he's been given some award

for some act of bravery or other.

He did something that stopped a crime being committed.

Technically, that's our job.

But you know, we're happy for you all

to join in, if you want to, you know.

We just won't be sharing the credit.

No, we will be, that's what I'm...

I'm off now

to share the credit with this boy.

Okay, lovely.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.

We're here to meet the hero today and...

Oh, hello, sorry, didn't...

Hi.

Uh...

Hello.

Erm, sorry, no one had told me that you were...

No one had warned me.

Not warned.

Told, no one told me

that you were...

As you were.

Listen, we're having a...

Don't send email. - Yes.

- Oh, sorry.

- I am disabled. - Right, yes.

So, you're going to speak through this.

- [COMPUTER VOICE] That's usually how it works.

- Okay, good.

Well, that's going to be fine.

So, this is...

- [COMPUTER VOICE] Kyle.

- Right.

This is Kyle.

Kyle, perhaps you could take us through

the events of the day that led you to...

To being one of our heroes.

One of our local heroes.

- [COMPUTER VOICE] I didn't really do anything, really.

I just tripped up a mugger

when I was taking an epileptic fit.

Anyone would do the same.

- I see.

So, it wasn't really deliberate as...

- [COMPUTER VOICE] I got mistaken for an automated machine

when I called the police.

So, that's something you have to speak to your staff about.

- Oh! (laughs)

I think he's...

Kyle's having a little bit of banter there.

That is very, very amusing.

- [FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE] Would you feel more comfortable

if I used this voice?

You seem very awkward, indeed.

- Oh, no, I...

I didn't realize you could become somebody else.

I didn't.

That's very clever,

or is that the real you?

Maybe it should just be a multiple choice from now on.

Are you proud?

- [COMPUTER VOICE] (beep) Yes.

I'm proud, okay?

- Okay.

Well, listen, there's no need to swear, mate, you know.

You caught one criminal, you know how many I've caught?

Don't be the big I am.

- [COMPUTER VOICE] You started it

by being an ignorant b*stard.

- Well, there's absolutely no reason to talk like that.

If you'd like to not report that.

I've got a medal for you,

for your bravery

and having your fit at exactly the time you had your fit.

There we go.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Kyle, you didn't give us your surname.

Don't worry about your surname.

If you need Kyle's surname, then...

- [COMPUTER VOICE] It's (beep) Indersin.

My surname is Indersin.

- Sorry, I didn't quite...

I got the (beep) part.

I got...

Oh, Anderson, Anderson.

Kyle Anderson, thank you.

A hero, a hero. (crowd applauding)

- [NARRATOR] The Scot Squad perform heroics /,

serving Scotland all day long,

which for Sergeant Karen Ann Miller,

means starting another shift in the station.

- So, Mr. Stewart, you were saying that they're...

They've been out in the street.

Took her down the Turkish place?

- I did, aye.

- If you unplug it, stick it back in.

Bobby...

I've been behind here for four hours.

What...

What were...

Who...

(door bangs)

- [NARRATOR] Homicide is a crime.

Regicide is a crime.

Countryside is not a crime.

But if it was, it would be solved

by the men and women of the Scottish Police Force.

- Hi, Mrs. Smith. - Yes.

- We got called out to a woman's house.

She'd been broken into.

- Lovely woman.

- She was really nice.

- Lovely house.

- Charlie wasn't in the...

The best form.

- Actually, sorry to interrupt,

but can I just nip to your bathroom for just a second,

just before we... - Course you can.

Just straight ahead of you, yeah,

just straight ahead. - Thank you,

I'll just be a second.

- That's okay, no problem.

- Thank you.

- Sorry, he's...

Had a bit of a dodgy curry last night.

- I make a mean homemade jalfrezi.

I'd maybe just been overzealous with chilies.

- Charlie, do you want me to go ahead and...

- [CHARLIE] No, no, that's fine.

- Will I just talk to... - I'll take it from here.

- Uh-huh.

- Mrs. Smith. - Yes?

- [CHARLIE] What, what time...

Did you get back from work, would you say?

- Oh, I came back, it was just my normal time.

I've got a routine and I was back about half past four.

- Okay.

- Uh-huh. - Right.

Okay, yeah.

And it's good to have routine.

- Yes.

- [CHARLIE] When did you first notice

something was missing?

- Well, it was, everything was fine

till I went into my living room,

and my television was on, which is never on.

I always turn it off.

- [CHARLIE] Yeah, turn it off.

- I was a wee bit embarrassed

and I had to remove the woman from the hall

to proceed with the investigation

in order to save your blushes.

- Yeah.

- And mine.

So, you didn't see any sign

of a break-in at the front door, or anything like that?

- The front door was all locked.

- But that's what partnerships are for, you know?

If one of you needs to go off and do something,

you can rely on the other person to help you out.

- Yeah.

- And these stay locked all the time?

- They're always locked.

I'm really careful with that.

- Okey-doke.

Charlie? - Yeah.

- We've just had a look in the living room

and I don't think there's any way

they could have got in through there.

I think the best idea would be

if you could show me up the stairs

and we'll see if there's anything up there.

- Yeah, come on, we'll go up

and show you where everything is

up there, on you go. - Bingo!

Yep, we've had some success in here.

Yeah, tell me, is your windows always locked?

- I lock them every day I go out.

It wasn't open, was it?

- I just opened it a little smidge

as I was conducting the search,

and I've noticed it looks like it's been jimmied open.

Just some markings around the lock,

and there's actually a footprint on the sill.

- Oh. - Ah.

- Officer.

Yeah, so I think we've found our point of origin.

- [JANE] Maybe I should go and...

- Yeah, it's really clear, actually, so have a wee...

But I'd...

Leave it minutes.

- Oh, don't. - , minutes.

- Cup of tea, maybe?

- Cup of tea would be great. - Tea, come on.

Come in, Officer.

- Any lemon and ginger? - Yeah, absolutely,

I'll have a look, see what I can do.

- [NARRATOR] That crook's footprint above the sink

is their first step towards the clink.

And all over the force,

devotion to duty deserves due recognition.

(phone ringing)

- Hello, Jean, yeah?

Who is it, the Palace?

I haven't ordered a takeaway.

The Palace?

Well, yes, put them through.

Well, really?

In the actual New Year's Honors List?

I'd be honored to have an honor.

Thank Her Majesty for me.

I'm very excited and proud, yes.

I still don't know what the honor is.

I mean, it's not, you know...

Dreaming of a knighthood,

but it's not gonna be the knighthood,

you don't start at the knighthood, you know.

Between you and me, I'm thinking it's OBE.

I mean, it can't be MBE.

I'm not gonna be in with the, you know,

the lollipop ladies and the...

"Oh, you're a janitor, well done you."

"What have you done?"

"Hello.

Formed an under-s football team in your community."

When you look back at the people

who've been honored before you,

you know, the Beatles, John...

I mean, famously gave his back.

I would never give mine back, I think that's disrespectful.

I think them having a joint in the palace

was disrespectful, too, while we're about it.

Wouldn't have happened if I'd been there, I'll tell you.

Yeah, Beatle or no Beatle, right.

Out on your arse.

I don't mind telling you, I'm quite nervous.

I'm more nervous than when I met Kenny Dalglish.

But I'm less nervous than when I met Lulu.

- [NARRATOR] From anticipation to obliteration,

McKirdy and Singh check out

the baddest of bashed up bangers.

(tense music)

- [SINGH] We are in the wreckers yard.

This is where cars come

that have been involved in accidents.

- Each car here has a story, isn't that right?

Some people drive around cars and it's in a terrible nick.

It's in a condition that certainly isn't drivable.

For example, a car here.

Now, this guy was just absolutely chancing it.

Come over here, I mean, look.

He's got weeds growing from the wheels.

Put your zoom in there.

You can see here, look.

The scratches, the dents, he was jumping about in that.

- Hubcap's all rusted up. - And it's no that.

There's folk and pedestrians that can walk by

and get their shirt tail dragged into that

and get caught and there's an injury there.

- Tetanus, yeah,

get a scratch and... - Tetanus.

You can get tetanus off a car.

- It's disgraceful. - You can get tetanus

off a car.

This van here is a consequence of drink driving.

Now, well, when I say drink driving,

the driver didn't actually make it to the motor.

He was drunk, staggered, tripped,

and his head went though the window.

But this again,

it just shows you the dangers of drink driving.

Don't do it before driving, during or after.

- Well, you can drink after you've driven,

but don't get back in the car again.

It would be wonderful

if every single driver could see this place,

'cause it would teach them a lesson to drive safely,

to keep their car in the garage and not the graveyard.

(uplifting music)

- Here, Officer Karen.

- [KAREN] Hi, Bobby.

- I was wondering if you could help me.

- Okay, what's up?

- I've been summoned up to like jury duty and stuff,

but I never even done anything or nothing, right?

- Oh, it just means that you're going to go

and sit on the jury.

It doesn't mean that they think you've done anything.

Don't worry about it, you're fine.

- Aye, but I don't want to do it.

- The thing is, like, if you'll see here,

see how it says it's an offense

that's punishable with a fine of up to £

if you try and avoid jury service.

- Like, see the date, it says it's on Monday.

"WrestleMania" is on and it's on at four in the morning,

and then that's at half nine in the morning.

So, if I watch "WrestleMania", I'm not...

Five, six, seven, eight.

I'm only going to get five hours sleep.

- Unfortunately, I'm fairly sure

"WrestleMania" is not one of the things

that disqualifies you from jury service.

You know, you have to kinda balance it up.

"WrestleMania" is good, but is it £ worth of good?

- So, what would make me, like, ineligible...

In-enigible.

- Ineligible?

Well, there's a whole...

There's a whole assortment.

So, you're not on bail, are you?

- No.

- You've not been sentenced to anything

in the last five years?

- Five years? - Mm-hmm.

- No.

- Okay.

You a member of the House of Lords?

- I don't think so.

- [KAREN] Okay.

- Uncle Jeffy might be.

- You're not in the Navy,

in the Women's Royal Naval Service,

Queen Alexandra's Royal Naval Nursing Service,

or any voluntary aid detachment service?

- No, I don't like water.

- Okay. - I'm scared.

(Karen blows raspberry)

- Grounds of ill health and physical disability.

- Physically fit. - You're physically fit.

- Fit as a fiddle.

- You are probably eligible, Bobby,

so I think you are probably gonna have to go and do it.

- Okay. - Okay?

- Okay.

- So, you just need to put your status,

and then you just need to pop a wee signature on it.

- Okay.

So, status.

The guy is...

Guilty.

- Okay.

Do you understand how jury service works, Bobby?

- I say the guy's guilty,

'cause then why would they be in court if he wasn't guilty?

- We should maybe have another wee look at it.

Do you think you'll be able to sit

and objectively listen to all this evidence and decide?

- Yep, I'll sit and I'll listen

and I won't cause any trouble.

See, if the lawyer says anything, I'll just be like that,

"You're doing a brilliant job, mate."

That's what it's all about.

Sign me up, then.

I'm up for it.

- Right, okay.

- Thanks, Officer Karen, thanks for your help,

and I'll see you next time, right?

And I'll tell you how the guy gets on,

or the girl, who knows?

But I'm voting for guilty, anyway.

Right, see you later, right, Officer Karen,

I'll talk to you soon, right?

- Okay. - Right, thanks a lot,

see you later, bye-bye! - See you later, Bobby.

Mind the door. (door bangs)

- JBE, it was in the end.

Never even heard of it.

Is it a junior...

No idea.

They don't issue many, apparently.

The last guy to get one was Andi Peters.

Ah.

(Cameron sighs)

JBE.

Jobbie, that's what the press will call it.

They don't miss a trick, those boys.

That's the headlines tomorrow.

Oh, dearie me.

Ah, well.

(sighs) It was a nice day out.

(exciting music)