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01x09 - Episode 9

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Portland Bill". Aired: 4 October 1983 – 25 June 1986.*
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Set in a fictional lighthouse on the Guillemot Rock, just off the coast from the fictional village of McGuillycuddy.

01x09 - Episode 9

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

oh come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland

this is my lighthouse on the gillamat

rock

[Music]

one day

ross was having a terrible time trying

to scrub the steps

clean while comedy and dogger tried to

catch a fish for tea

gosh puff grass

it'll take ages to get this moss off

i'll be here till next week at this rate

i wish i could help you go on comedy

well i'm busy right now busy relaxing if

you ask me oh i am am i snap comedy you

just wait until tea we'll see who's been

relaxing when i show you how many fish

i've got those two

always bickering

[Music]

they were so busy arguing they failed to

notice the weather had changed for the

worse

and that's when i popped my head out the

door come on you do there's a storm

brewing you best get inside quick

i'm off to light the light

and so they bundle up their things and

rushed inside

don't forget hey get this right here

slam in the door behind them

did you get everything ross

let's see uh

bucket mop

fishing line

where's talker

quick rush the door

ah

there he is

i'm dogger thank goodness you're safe

i laugh comedy and thanks for saving my

sillwester wow

the storm was at its height but our lamp

was shining brightly

and there was nothing more to be done

so i made us all a nice cup of tea

[Music]

you know it says in the old days we used

to call this solar storm a good news

storm

how could it be a good news storm cried

ross the wind so strong it nearly blew

us off our feet

i agree comedy and what about all that

thunder and lightning

yes you wait i said it's a good news

storm all right i'm sure of that

oh by the way comedy

how many fish did you catch

none

not a wand

thanks to your good news storm

how about you ross i said did you clean

the masts off the steps afraid not bill

sorry grass

i'm beginning to wonder if those steps

will ever be finished

well i don't know about the steps being

finished but the storm certainly is i

smiled let's go outside

[Music]

[Music]

when we stepped out onto the rock

ross couldn't believe his eyes jumping

jellyfish the storm has washed the steps

clean

hey a look cried comedy the net i left

out is full of fish

you were right bill it was a good news

storm it's done all out of work for us

well of course

they thought the good news was that

they'd get the rest of the day off but i

soon put them right

the good news is for me

because you probably

can run all the way up and turn the

light off

while you ross can cook the fish for my

supper

now that's what i call good news

[Music]

come on dogger i'll take you for a walk

oh

[Music]

i'm going to the mainland it's a lovely

sunny day

and as i roll i like to sing it helps me

on my way

i'll do a spot of fishing

to see what i can catch

a message in a bottle

or a tasty silver fish

roll my boat

sing my song

i'm going to the mainland i'll get there

before long

when is the sea like a restaurant i

don't know when is the ceiling

restaurant when it's full of fish and

ships

ships

[Music]

do

[Music]

roll my boat

sing my song

i'm going to the mainland i'll get there

before

how about another stop

it was a lovely sunny seaside day

and i was in mcgillicuddy

when eddie asked me to look after his

shop while he went on his deliveries it

won't take long bill grandma tyree is

due back any moment now and then she'll

take over ah that's all right eddie i

said you get going

oh my

that's a fine kettle you've got there

yes isn't it smile eddie look it's got a

special type of whistle that plays a

tune when the water's boiling i'm just

off to deliver it to mrs landing all

right oh then eddie bye boy

[Music]

now when eddie arrived at mrs mundy's

cottage and gave her the special kettle

she was so pleased with it that she

wanted to try it out at once

would you like a cup of tea well yes

said eddie that would be very nice

thank you

and so mrs lundy went off to use her new

kettle well eddie hadn't been waiting

long when finished stare the crafter

turned up

he was taking boomer his prized bull to

the pasture

ah hello eddie said finister have you

got any of my favorite toffees in the

shop yet

yes uh a new batch came in this morning

oh that's good small finish there i'll

just pop along and buy a bag now

will you hold boomer for a while

if he gives you any trouble just whistle

it too he loves music

it's really as good as gold back soon

and with that finished hair rushed off

to get his toffees

now eddie stone maybe mcgilly cookies

shopkeeper mayor policeman postman meet

the man and waterboard inspector

but one thing he's not and that's a

whistler

in fact he couldn't whistle to save his

life

which was a problem

because boomers started to get playful

um easy boy

come back

well boomer was very keen on vegetables

and everybody knows that mrs lundy has

the best vegetable garden in mcgilly

cooking

so

boomer decided to take a closer look

and there was nothing eddie could do

about it oh what's that creature doing

on my vegetable patch

oh

miss mrs lundy um

finister left me in charge of him but he

do um know any good tunes that music

quietens him down oh

yes all

[Music]

no right he's going to eat up my prized

cabbage well just then mrs lundy's

special kettle came to the boil oh thank

goodness cried eddie someone's whistling

a tune but mrs lundy just laughed no

one's whistling eddie that's my new

kettle

well said eddie it certainly made boomer

happy come on boy this way

well finisteranoi walked back to mrs

lundy's college and there was old boomer

the ball quietly grazing in the lane

i told you he was no trouble didn't i

had it said finister come on boomer time

we were off

no trouble cried eddie he nearly ate up

mrs lundy's prized vegetable garden and

if it wasn't for her whistling kettle

well

just then mrs lundy came out the

kettle's on for another couple well i

tried to warn her but it was too late

the special kettle started whistling oh

no roid eddie he's back

and in charge boomer dragging paul

finisted right smack into the middle of

mrs lundy's prized vegetable patch

well i said to mrs lundy i think you

better give your whistling kettle to all

boomer there

do you know

she didn't take a lot of persuading

oh come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland bill

[Music]