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02x05 - New Orleans/Atlantis

Episode transcripts for the TV show, " Scooby's All-Star Laff-A-Lympics". Aired: September 10, 1977 – October 28, 1978.*
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The sporting competitions in which the characters are called upon to compete are often comical or offbeat versions of Olympic sports, races, or scavenger hunts.

02x05 - New Orleans/Atlantis

Post by bunniefuu »

[theme music]

[creaking]

[male narrator] It's Scooby's All-Star Laff-A-Lympics

starring Scooby-Doo and the g*ng.

Scooby-Doo.

Blue Falcon and his mechanical misfit..

...Dynomutt Dog Wonder.

That's me. Ha-ha-ha.

And introducing the world's first superhero

Captain Caveman and his mystery-solving companions

the Teen Angels.

Captain Caveman!

And it's round-the-world, triple-team competition

with the Scooby Doobies, Yogi Yahooeys

and Really Rottens.

[sniggering]

Forty five stars in the Laff-A-Lympics.

[instrumental music]

Yes, it's Scooby's All-Star Laff-A-Lympics!

♪ Ready set let's go ♪♪

Yeah.

[male narrator] Greetings, sports lovers, it's time again

for another All-Star Laff-A-Lympics.

Today's athletic event will blast-off

in romantic old New Orleans.

[instrumental music]

Then, we'll take you on a TV trip below the Pacific Ocean

to the wettest place in the world

the legendary lost city Of Atlantis

where our winning Laff-A-Letes

will be awarded the Laff-A-Lympics gold.

boom

Now, to the outskirts of New Orleans

where the world-famous teams are tensed for action.

The Yogi Yahooeys.

[cheering]

The Scooby Doobies.

[cheering]

And the Really Rottens.

[crowd booing]

As usual, the scoring will be 25 points to the winner



So, now it's on to our first pulse-pounding competition

the All-Star Laff-A-Lympics

antique-aircraft distance contest.

Huckleberry Hound will be flying for the Yogis.

[crowd cheering]

Tinker and Speed Buggy for the Scoobies.

[crowd cheering]

And flying for the Rotten team

their crackpot pilot, Mumbly.

[sniggers]

Okay, reporters, over to you for an explanation

of this exciting event.

Suffering Sopwith or without.

What's to explain?

Whichever plane flies the longest distance wins.

Huh, those klutzy contraptions even get off the ground

I'll eat my hat.

[sniggers]

[engine sputters]

[sniggers]

Do you still think they won't fly, Mildew?

- Wish I had some salt. - 'Why?'

These skimmers taste better with a little salt.

[male narrator] Pilots, man your planes.

The great-distance flight is ready to go.

First to take off will be the Scooby entry.

Hah. Just let him try takin' off.

[laughs]

[wind howling]

[male narrator] And there's the lift off, folks.

bam

Oops. They're hung up.

Golly, Speedy. Full throttle.

Fast.

[coughs]

O-okay, Tink.

[Speedy sputtering]

[laughs] Watch 'em fall flat on their faces.

Ooh, why, being dirty..

Dadgummit!

[whirring]

[clanging]

[male narrator] And the Scoobies are finally airborne.

But the strain is causing Speedy to overheat.

Hey, Speedy, keep the front end up

and I'll climb back and unhook that rope.

[sputtering] Well, I'll try, Tink.

[male narrator] Talk about courage, folks.

While Speedy's pushing his pistons to the limit

Tinker is valiantly attempting

to undo the Rottens wrongdoings.

Uh-oh!

Speedy!

[sputtering] Uh-oh.

[male narrator] Oh, Tink, you must be in your aircraft

to qualify for this event.

You're tellin' me?

[gulps]

We're about landin', too.

[male narrator] This could be it for the Scoobies.

Oh, but, no, a fantastic mid-air catch by Speed Buggy

has saved the day and Tinker.

And they've set their distance mark.

Heavens to Murgatroyd!

It's a 500 yarder, a record breaker

and almost a neck-breaker, too, already.

[all cheering]

[male narrator] Congratulations, Scoobies.

And as for you, Rottens

thanks to your sneak-evil trick, you've earned..

A five-point penalty for cheatin'.

[grumbling]

[male narrator] Next up is Huckleberry Hound, flying for the Yogis.

[crowd cheering]

glub glub

[laughs]

I'd like to see this Bamboo b*mber trying to fly

with a load of fresh cement.

Here I go.

[crowd cheering]

Oh, shucks. I seem to be draggin' my tail.

[Mildew] 'You are draggin' your tail, Huck.'

Plus a couple of hundred pounds of cement.

The Rottens are at it again.

Continuin', even.

[pedals squeaking]

A little old cement shouldn't bother nobody.

[whirring]

splotch

I hate sloppy pilots.

- What nerve! - You got my the boots dirty.

Unforgiveable.

[male narrator] Wow! Terrific!

Huck made it, folks, but with only half a plane.

Hey, Hucky, I hope you know that flyin' half a plane

is aerodynamically impossible.

Gosh! I'm sure glad you told me, Mildew.

I might've kept on flyin'.

[whoosh]

[tires screeching]

Not bad, Huck. Sloppy, but a safe landing.

Yeah, you might say safe, but sadly..

[giggles]

This is fantabulous, Mildew.

Their 1000-yard flight has doubled the Scoobies'.

But there's still the Rottens comin' up.

What a rotten shame.

[male narrator] The Rottens have just earned another penalty.

Minus five points for their cement cheat.

Making them ten score points in the whole.

Well, Rottens, what do you have to say about that?

How would you like to wear your headband for a belt?

[male narrator] Alright, next will be the Rottens.

But beating the Yogis won't be easy.

Ah, with our super-vertical

horizontal, anti-stall tri-plane

it'll be a cinch.

[sniggers]

[male narrator] And with a prop in front and one on top

we wonder if it'll fly straight up or straight out.

Well, with all that horsepower

he should go somewhere fast.

[whirring]

[Mumbly grumbling]

kaboom

[male narrator] That was quite a flight.

Zero altitude, zero distance.

I think it's a record.

A 1000-yard flight for the Yogis



and zero for the Rottens.

Like El Blanco, even.

[male narrator] And the scores add up like this.

The Yogis are first with 25 points.

Second place, Scoobies, 15

and the Rottens, 10.

Uh, minus 10 penalty points

leaves a big fat zilcho.

[all cheering]

[booing]

[male narrator] Be that as it may, All-Stars.

Now, let's zap over to the one and only

New Orleans French quarter for the Mardi Gras.

Our second sizzling event, the Chinese dragon race.

Attention, athletes, everybody under the dragons

that's in the race.

[male narrator] Well, do you Rottens

expect to win by cheating?

[all laughing]

[male narrator] I see. There's no doubt about it.

Is this the centipede

uh, I mean, dragon-race route?

True, Mildew, and anything can happen.

They start here on Bourbon Street, then down Canal

and then dash up Desire

then through Pirates Alley around Jacksons Park

to Crawdad Bayous.

Thanks, Snag, now I know where not to be to stay in one piece.

[male narrator] Now, the Laff-A-Lympics dragons are on the starting line.

[buzzer buzzing]

And there's the starting horn, or whatever

and the race is on.

♪ Dum dum dum dum ♪♪

[male narrator] Wow, here they come, folks.

[laughs] And we'll keep it that way.

[Mumbly sniggers]

[Daisy coughing]

Dadgummit, you're supposed to smoke-screen them, not us.

[coughs] You mumbling-head.

bam

Well, I see that the Rottens are most fortunate.

How's that?

[Mildew] 'I don't see a knot'

'in their tail.'

[male narrator] It's an even race. Oops.

No, the Scoobies have turned into Pirates Alley

and the Yogis are off course.

But look, here come the Rottens from out of nowhere.

And the Yogis are back in, too.

Grape Ape. Grape Ape.

[male narrator] Uh-oh, here's trouble.

The Rottens and the Scoobies are stuck at a red light.

They put their neck in..

A green light lets them jump into the lead!

At Jackson Square, the Yogis and Scoobies

are gaining on the Rottens who are leading.

Ah! We'll give 'em the slip, eh, Creepley?

That's right.

Ha-ha. The oil-fashioned way.

[giggles]

[male narrator] Oh, no! An oil slick.

Hit your brakes, teams!

But, what, folks, the Scoobies and Yogis

are slipping and sliding past the Rottens.

Lasso those dragons' tails, Creepley

and we'll overhaul them.

I never miss.

Everybody, get ready to pool in.

[whirring]

[Creepley] Yike! I missed.

[male narrator] What a terrific technique

shown by the Rottens.

By snagging their own tail

they've cruised across the finish line

for a looping first.

The Scoobies are second and the Yogis, third.

It seems that the Rottens rolled into the Bayous

for a cool dip after their win.

[cheering]

[male narrator] Now, let's take a look

at our final half-time scores.

The Yogis get ten for third place giving them 35 points.

The Scoobies second raises their number to 30

and the Rottens grab 25 for this win

and a good chance for the gold.

Now, let's join Mildew and Snagglepuss.

Oh, no. I'm through.

I'm resigning, kaput.

But suffering seasprites, Mildew.

Just imagine how picturesque

it'll be reportin' from Atlantis.

Not for me, I get prune wrinkles

from being underwater, so I'm staying here

where it's nice and dry, where it's..

[male narrator] Ha-ha. If only you knew, Mildew.

And now, fans, we bid our reporters bon voyage

as they disappear under the sea on their way to Atlantis.

So be sure to join us there later

for the concluding, cataclysmic second half

of the All-Star Laff-A-Lympics.

boom

[instrumental music]

[male narrator] Welcome back, sports fans

to the fantastical All-Star Laff-A-Lympics.

In our second half, we'll take you



to the legendary lost city of Atlantis

for our concluding cataclysmic events.

Now, let's meet our powerhouse teams.

The Yogi Yahooeys, the Really Rottens

and the Scooby Doobies.

[all cheering]

At the conclusion of our first half

the Yogis were winning with 35 points

the Scoobies second with 30 points

and the Rottens close behind with 25 points.

But moving right along, I see our jockeys are saddled up

and ready to race.

For the Yogis, it'll be team captain, Yogi Bear.

[crowd cheering]

Babu for the Scoobies.

[cheering]

And Dirty Dalton for the Rottens.

[booing]

And here to describe this event

is that super-sport born to water, Jabberjaws.

[crowd cheering]

That's me. Yeah. Now, now.

And this is my original watercolor

of the race route, fans.

Starting at H2O Avenue

the jockeys will pass the Davy Jones Locker

and circle King Neptune's palace to the finish line.

splash

[spraying]

[laughs]

Oh, no!

No respect, no respect at all.

Not even from my own painting.

Attention, there's the start signal, folks.

[trumpet blowing]

And they're off.

'Uh, except for Babu, who's under.'

[sputtering] Stop horsing around, will ya?

Let's face it, Babu.

You have a weight displacement problem.

Uh-oh, not for long.

Yapple dapple!

Oops!

Oh, not fair.

[male narrator] Meanwhile, the Rottens

are really churning along

trying to edge out the Yogis.

Hey, Dirty!

Bein' a cowboy, you sure can ride.

[Dalton] You ain't doin' so bad yourself, Yogi, so..

[Dalton grunts] Hold this.

[laughs]

[male narrator] Oops, I looked away a second

but now I see the Yogis have dropped out of the race.

Yahoo!

[male narrator] Does this mean Yogi's out of the race?

Hey, hey, hey. No, just under it.

[male narrator] Forget it, Babu, you're too big

for that tiny sea horse.

Uh-oh. Look again. Yapple dapple.

[male narrator] Wow. Babu just maybe a big finisher after all.

[all cheering]

[instrumental music]

boing

splash

[screeching]

Uh-oh. Yapple dapple!

[male narrator] What on Earth! The Scoobies have vanished.

Now it looks like only Yogis are left in the race.

[all cheering]

[male narrator] Oops, correction.

I see that the Rottens are in the race

taking a shortcut to Neptune's palace.

And I might add

the Scoobies are still in the race, too.

Above it, even.

[male narrator] A flying sea horse?

Now I've seen everything, folks.

Finally, our jockeys are back on course

as they race around Neptune's Palace to the finish.

The Rottens have the lead, but can they keep it?

Chat. With some extra horsepower, why not?

[male narrator] Hmm, un-sporting, but speedy Rottens.

Meanwhile, the Scoobies sea steed is dragging its wings

allowing the Yogis to take over second place.

Too bad, Babu.

Now maybe this will teach you not to yapple dapple

or dapple yapple.

It did, Snaggle. I won't yapple or dapple.

Oh, no, Babu. Please.

No more magic.

[male narrator] Oh, wow, this is going to be

super-super close, folks.

Guess the Rottens have maintained their lead to win

and it's the Scoobies second and Yogis third.

[all cheering]

Wrack!

[male narrator] Well, folks..

the Rottens 25-point win

has put them first with 50 points.

Which leaves the Scoobies and Yogis tied

at 45 points each for second place.

[crowd cheering]

Phew, with the score this close

the tension is electrifying.

So our athletes will be giving

their all to win the final event.

The courage testing "Rescue-The-Mermaid" contest.

[crowd cheering]

For the Yogis, it's Grape Ape.

[crowd cheering]

Captain Caveman for the Scoobies.

[crowd cheering]

And for the Rottens, Dinky Dalton.

[crowd booing]

Heavens to horrors galore.

This contest is fraught with dangers.

Hazards, even.

'Our rescuers will have to traverse a maze'

'and a seaweed jungle'

'that's infested with giant denizens of the deep'

'to rescue the mermaid.'

[creaking]

'What's this? A Cindy Bear mermaid?'

[male narrator] Yes, Snag, because of the hazards involved

no mermaid would volunteer to be rescued.

So Cindy took her place.

That certainly was courageous, Ms. Cindy.

Oh, sure, sugar.

I think it's, oh, romantic

havin' those brave athletes face those dangers

for little old me.

[chuckles]

- Oh. - Hm. I see.

[male narrator] Anyway, our athletes have now entered the air lock

and the contest is on.

[dramatic music]

Unga bunga. Uh-oh.

[growls]

[growls]

[chuckles]

[male narrator] Now, the Scoobies have a straight shot

through the maze.

Grape is almost over it while the Rottens

have passed it completely.

Oh, no! Dinky has been caught by a squid!

[Dinky laughing]

You means octopus.

Now I can win this contest

while the others tangle

with Orful's big cousin, eh, Orful?

[laughs]

Yoo-hoo, over here!

Coming, Cindy.

Grape Ape. Grape Ape.

My! He's such a gentleman.

He must be a Southern simian.

[chuckles]

[mumbling] That's her.

Captain Caveman!

[male narrator] The Yogis still have the lead.

[mumbling]

Rubber rock, uh..

squeak

squeak

[squeaking]

[grunts]

Hey, hey, Orful.

You gonna let your oversized cousin

do this to your pal?

Y-yes.

Darn, that's even rotten

for a Rotten.

[male narrator] This looks bad, folks.

The giant squid has captured

all of our contestants.

Hmm, not.

[grunts] Captain Caveman.

[squeaking]

[male narrator] Yes, folks, it looks like a ticklish situation.

That's it.

Kitchie-kitchie-coo.

Grape Ape. Grape Ape.

[Grape Ape laughing]

[laughing]

[male narrator] Oh, I see.

Ticklish situation.

So that's what gave you the kitchie-coo idea, huh?

Uh-huh. Grape Ape. Grape Ape.

[screeching]

Back that a-way, fish.

Hey. Giddy-up!

[male narrator] This is really exciting, folks.

As the three contestants charge to the rescue

it's anybody's win now.

bang

Uh-oh, bad time for a power failure. Hm.

[male narrator] And it looks like the Scoobies

are out of it.

Oh!

[male narrator] Fantastic!

It'll either be a three-way collision

or a rescue, but no

the Scoobies just ran out of power

and Dinky has overshot the clam.

Now, it looks like, yes, it is.

The Yogis have made the recue to win the contest!

Oh, you great, big, purple hero, you.

Gee. Grape Ape. Grape Ape.

[male narrator] Well, that's our contest, folks.

As you saw, the Yogis won

and the second closest were the Scoobies

while the Rottens were third.

And this gives us our final scores for the day.

The winning Yogis have 70 points

while the Scoobies and Rottens have tied

for the runner-up spot at 60 points each.

[crowd cheering]

[male narrator] And so, as we bid farewell

to glamorous Atlantis

let's have a last word from our reporters.

Huh. I must have been fantasizing.

Atlantis, mermaids? Really?

That was too fishy to be real.

Really?

What? Well, uh..

Let's make that half fishy.

[laughing]

[male narrator] Now, as our reporters go

laughing off into the sunset

let me invite you to join us next week

for another super sensational

All-Star Laff-A-Lympics!

boom

[theme music]

[squawking]

[squawks]

[screams]

[music continues]