02x02 - New York/Turkey

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

whirr whirr

[male narrator] It's Scooby's All-Star Laff-A-Lympics.

Starring Scooby Doo and the g*ng.

Scooby Doo!

Blue Falcon and his mechanical misfit

Dynomutt, Dog Wonder.

That's me, he he he.

And introducing the world's first superhero

Captain Caveman

and his mystery solving companions

the Teen Angels.

Captain Caveman!

And it's round the world

triple team competition

with the Scooby Doobies

Yogi Yahooeys

and Really Rottens.

[sniggering]

Forty five stars in the Laff-A-Lympics.

[instrumental music]

It's Scooby's All-Star Laff-A-Lympics.

♪ Ready set let's go ♪♪

Yeah.

[male narrator] Welcome, sports fans.

It's time for another thrill packed

All-Star Laff-A-Lympics.

Today's high speed antics

will begin in the noise

and cement center of America

New York city.

Then via satellite

you'll see our All-Star turkeys

uh, athletes in action in Istanbul, Turkey

for the cl*max of today's

dazzling sports spectacular.

boom

Now let's meet our electrifying Olympiads.

The Scooby Doobies.

[all cheering]

The Really Rottens.

[all cheering]

The Yogi Yahooeys.

[all cheering]

And here's the winner's prize.

The sport world's prize of prizes

the Laff-A-lympics gold medal.

Now over to our on the scene reporters

Mildew and Snagglepuss.

And this is some silly scene to report.

Sufferin' subways, Mildew.

Today's big sport story

here in Central Park

will be a lark.

A blue jay even.

Hmm, there's nothing to carriage racing.

It's unfolding this ridiculous

race route map that's the real challenge.

[Snagglepuss] 'Allow me, s'il vous plait.'

French even.

Starting at the Central Park entrance

at the 110th street

the racers will bypass this

iced over lake, cut through the zoo..

[Mildew] 'And this horsey statue'

'marks the two third's point.'

[Snagglepuss] True, then beyond the outdoor concert theater

is the finish line.

[male narrator] Our first event will be

the harrowing Hansom Carriage Race

through Central Park.

Now here are the carriage-a-teers.

Doggy Daddy for the Yogis.

The Rottens, Mr. Creepley.

Finally, for the Scoobys

it's the Blue Falcon and his winged unicorn.

[chuckles] That's super.

You expected less from a superhero?

That's my buddy, BF.

The scoring will be our usual



Fifteen for second.

And ten for a last place.

[bugle calling]

So, roll 'em already.

[male narrator] And they're off.

The Rottens have knocked off to an early lead

edging out the Scoobys

with the Yogis tailing in last place.

[laughs]

This'll put the little boy Blue on ice.

[laughs]

After you, Blue Falcon.

Thank you, Mr. Creepley.

[instrumental music]

Hmm, I suspect I have been rerouted

onto a rotten route.

[male narrator] Paralleling 5th Avenue

Mr. Creepley is first

Doggy Daddy, second

while Blue Falcon is spinning around in third.

How corny.

An ice skating unicorny?

Heavens to Hoboken, Mildew.

It's not the horsey.

It's the man at the reigns who counts.

Huh, well, this massive bulge in blue muscles

can be counted as a knit for trusting a rotten?

Not necessassararily, Mildew.

The race is still up in the air.

Exactly and that's just where I'll be.

Blue Falcon, away!

[shouting]

That's, ha ha ha ha h*, funny.

splash

This ain't, brrr, funny.

Down, big fellow.

[male narrator] At the halfway point, the Rottens are ahead.

The Yogi's are second.

And hold everything

the Blue Falcon has just regained

his rightful place in the lead.

Hey. He uncheated himself.

Now I'm through being a nice guy.

whirr

Don't leave the goodness, Goliath.

You best use all your pony power.

[intense music]

See you at the zoo, dogface.

Now you know why they call the little fellow

'Goliath.'

Hey!

Knock it off, you big ape.

thump thump thump

Oh, alright, I'm sorry, mummy.

[male narrator] Three quarters through the race

Blue Falcon still holds the lead.

But Doggy is coming up fast.

As for Mr. Creepley, he maybe out of the race

but it looks like he is in good hands.

[laughs]

Sorry, Mr. Falcon.

No apologies necessary, Doggy.

And may the best man, uh, whatever, win.

[all cheering]

[male narrator] Now approaching the finish line

it looks like nothing can stop

the Yogis from winning.

[neighing]

Hot doggone, Goliath, not now.

Yup, huh, here we go again.

[neighing]

You see, Goliath here has this weakness

for every tall bronze filly he sees.

Here at the finish line, fans

we're just in time to see

which cuckoo will cross first.

And that cuckoo is Blue Falcon.

But heavens to Harlem.

What's this?

[indistinct muttering]

Sorry, mom, but step it up.

So your little boy will win, will you?

Come on, Goliath. Give me your hoof.

Or your girlfriend will lose the race for us.

[instrumental music]

There's a tie, between the Yogis and Rottens.

Heavens to how about that?

A neck to neckerchief even.

[male narrator] Now a glance at the scoreboard

shows the Scooby Doobies

are first with 25 points.

And the Yogi Yahooeys

and Really Rottens are tied

at 15 points each.

Now moving over to Liberty island

in New York harbor

half of New York has turned out

to watch the gala

crown the Statue Of Liberty

with a wreath race.

Anyway, let's meet our klutzy climbers.

For the Yogis it's Grape Ape.

'Orful Octopus for the Rottens.'

'And Captain Caveman will represent the Scoobys.'

Remember, you silly savages, no hanky panky.

[male narrator] There's the hanky drop start signal.

And they're off and up.

Captain Caveman!

whirr

Uh, unga moonga.

Eh, off to bad start.

[male narrator] Fantastic, Orful has just shot up into the lead.

Oh, too bad, Orful.

Just a few tentacles too high.

[groaning]

Meanwhile, it appears Grape Ape is up to something.

I am?

Grape Ape, Grape Ape. What?

[male narrator] Oh, well, what's up with the Scoobys?

[mumbling]

Me got idea.

[male narrator] Wow, Captain Caveman really used his head.

Or rather the head of his tyrannosaurus rex

to reach the 2/3rd's mark.

[all cheering]

- Yay, Cavey! - Yay, Cavey!

Hey, Cavey, really cutesy cute.

Except for one little thing.

Your better fetch your pet back.

'New York has a pets leash law, you know.'

Unga bunga.

Leash? Rex?

[laughing]

Mercy, he's right.

How does one leash a 70 ton

tyrannosaurus rex?

[male narrator] Meanwhile Grape Ape is finally up to something, folks.

And here he goes.

The acrobatic ape has done a fantastic back flip

halfway up the statue.

That does it.

If I'm seeing a four ton

gymnastic gorillala

I better retire to the rubber ranch.

[male narrator] Meanwhile the Rottens are back in action.

[mumbling]

There's nothing like having a little pull to win.

[laughing]

[giggles]

[male narrator] Wow, what a race this is, folks.

Although Cavey is 3/4ths of the way up

one more back flip from Grape will put him in second.

But hold it, here come the Rotten's flying up

into first place for what looks like a sure fire a win.

Drat, stop magnetizing, magnet.

thud

Drats!

[grumbling]

Standby for operation "Octopus Lift", Orful.

[mumbling]

whirr

Captain Caveman!

[male narrator] This could be it, folks.

Captain Caveman is ahead.

Past Liberty's head.

Grape Ape is only a shoulder away

from victory, but high flying Orful

is helicoptering up straight for the crown.

Uh-oh.

Grape Ape, Grape Ape.

Unga moonga, time to win.

[male narrator] Uh-oh, this looks like either a three way tie

or a three way collision.

Yes, it's all over, folks.

But who knows who won.

It's a perplexin' puzzler, alright.

Stand aside, savages.

Now here's all the wreaths.

Stack up already.

The winning wreath belongs to the Captain Caveman.

'And in second, the Yogis.'

'And on top for the bottom spot'

'it's the Rottens.'

[all cheering]

[male narrator] And another win for the Scooby Doobies

puts them ahead of a half

with 50 points.

Second it's the Yogi Yahooeys

at 30 and in last

it's 25 for the Really Rottens.

Oh, those savages.

They really have me up in the air.

Personally, Mildew

I suggest you hang in there.

[Mildew] Oh, as if I had a choice.

Let me off!

[Snagglepuss] But it's a 10,000 foot drop, even.

[Mildew] Well, alright, I just won't look down.

But I'll be looking for all you fans

to join me later for the cutesy wutsey

second half later at the All-Star Laff-A-lympics.

'Please!'

[male narrator] Welcome back, sports fans to the final half

of today's All-Star "Laff-A-Lympics."

We're here in incomparable Istanbul, Turkey.

The first event will be

the dare-devilish

high speed unicycle race.

Recapping the previous half's scores

we see the Scooby Doobies are first with 50 points.

Yogi Yahooeys are second with 30.

And the Really Rottens are on the bottom with 25.

So, it's down to the action

with our on the scenes reporters

Mildew and Snagglepuss.

Unicycling? Huh!

Our uncoordinated athletes

should use training wheels and tricycles.

Possibly possible, Mildew.

'But seein' they're ready to race'

'let's introduce 'em.'

For the Yogi Yahooeys

it's Hokey Wolf.

[all cheering]

'Dread Baron for the Really Rottens.'

[all cheering]

'And Scooby-Dum for the Scooby Doobies.'

[humming]

[all cheering]

gobble gobble gobble

Pay attention, you silly uni-savages.

Safety better be first for you.

These teeny twisty Turkey streets are tricky.

But naturally, those Really Rottens

are even trickier.

So, when you hear the starting flute

scoot.

[male narrator] There they go, peddling furiously.

Except for Scooby-Dum.

Whatever it is he's doing.

I'm just doing my usual dum-dum-dum-dum.

Now it's time to convert from a uni

to a chopper cycle.

vroom

[Daisy] 'Get ready, Sooey.'

Here comes our competition.

oink

[male narrator] On our aerial cameras

we see Yogis are first.

The Rottens are second, while the Scoobys

are road rolling fast

on Dread's ill*gal tailpipe.

[laughs]

[male narrator] Oh, hey, Dread, it looks like

you're about to be overtaken by Scooby-Dum.

Sorry de dum dum.

Drat, overrun by that dum-dum.

'Huh, d-rat!'

These here mush melons will mess up them

goody dumplings, Sooey.

oink oink oink

Eddy-tat-tat-tat, lucky, my unicycle is spring-loaded.

boing

boing

Uh-oh!

Darn!

Mushed by my own mush melons.

Double drat, my supercycle's

all collapsed up.

[Mildew] 'Now drat's unnecessary, Dread.'

Here's a spare.

A fair spare, even.

It's about time.

Now I'll show you some real unicycling.

Oh, whoa!

gobble gobble gobble

Heavens to ad nauseam, Mildew.

That takes talent.

Not much, but a little already.

[male narrator] Wheeling down Istanbul's main thorough fare

Hokey is relaxing in first place.

But here comes Scooby-Dum

in a backwards maneuver to take the lead.

Bye-bye.

Dum dum dum dum.

No wonder, I thought he was coming

when he was going.

[male narrator] Oh, no, attention racers

look out for that raising bridge.

What bridge?

Dum dum dum dum.

No problem, being an acrobatic unicyclist.

Oh, boy!

Aah!

[male narrator] Scooby-Dum is really laying on the peddles

to keep his lead.

Hokey is coming up fast.

But what's this?

Dread Baron has just

dropped into the lead

as they approach the fountain

of "Tagar, The Terrible."

Which means they must circle

six laps before heading for the finish line.

By the Prophet's beard. This is absurd.

[male narrator] Folks, our unicyclists are circling so fast

who knows who's first.

swoosh

- I am. - I am.

I am, dum dum dum.

[Mildew] 'Oh brother, here at the finish line'

my eyeballs must be bamboozled at what I see.

No, it's not your eyeballs, Mildew.

'It's our unicyclists.'

'Bamboozled in a bunch.'

[male narrator] And as all three unicyclists

hit the finish, who knows who won.

Sufferin' centipedes.

Do my eyeballs deceive What I perceive?

[Mildew] 'Yes, Snag, flat on the finish for first'

'it's the Rottens.'

'Mashed in the middle is the Yogis.'

'With the Scoobys on top for the bottom spot.'

[male narrator] Checking our scores, it adds up like this.

The Scoobys still hold the lead at 60.

The Rottens move up to second place with 50 points.

While the Yogis hit bottom with 45.

[all cheering]

[instrumental music]

[male narrator] A swimming relay race

across the straits of Bosphorus

is our concluding event.

gobble gobble gobble

[male narrator] And here's our first relay team

ready to take the plunge.

Dinky Dalton, for the Rottens.

The Scoobys, Teen Angel Taffy.

And leading off for the Yogis

will be Mr. Jinks.

Hah, this race route proves our silly savages are turkeys.

Starting with a 100 foot high dive

the first teams will relay their batons

to the second teams, here in the Abadark cross tides

of Turkey bay, out of sunken ship..

Oh, you take it, Snag.

Mercy, Mildew.

The last relay will be in the straits.

Noted for its sudden tidal waves

from nowhere.

[sputtering]

You see what I mean?

[male narrator] Our swimmers are ready.

And there's the start whistle.

First off, it's Dinky.

splash

Taffy makes a graceful swan dive

like the Olympic champ she is.

And there go the Yogis.

Good luck, Jinks.

Uh-uh, are you kidding, kid?

I mean, like, you know, they-they don't call me Jinks

for nothing.

See-see, what I mean?

[male narrator] Oh, a real funny fluffer splash down.

Meanwhile the Rottens and Scoobys are

speeding through the water like twin torpedoes

as they approach the treacherous

cross tides of Turkey bay.

But here comes Jinks moving up fast.

At the first relay change, the second relay team

is ready to take over.

If their teams survive the cross tides.

Oh, I can't bare to watch.

Good, now I can get across

the fast and easy way.

[laughs]

Talk about teamwork.

There goes Dirty, off to a runnin' run.

A mid air runnin' run, already.

blub blub blub

Good going, Dirty.

That's using my head.

[laughs]

[male narrator] Uh-oh, Taffy's caught in the awesome cross tide.

Zowie, I'm okay.

As long as I float over here

the way I plan.

gobble gobble gobble

Hey, Taff, the plan's working terrif..

Okay, stand by, Brenda.

[male narrator] And what a plan it is.

A daring leap over the tides

for a perfect landing.

And a fast baton hand over.

We're two seconds behind, Brenda.

So show 'em some real swimming.

Right on and right away.

[all cheering]

Go, Teen Angels!

Hey, Jinks, what's holding you up?

Like, uh, me, Pixie, you know.

With my miserable bad luck

this cross-current will sweep me

clear to Calcutta.

Yipe.

Oh, need a lift?

toing toing toing

[male narrator] What luck. It's Jabberjaw.

He's just moved into the race.

And it looks like he's giving Jinks

an uplifting boost.

Oh, like, uh, thanks, Jabber.

Oh, finally some respect.

[giggles]

[male narrator] Yes, thanks to Jabberjaw's helping fin

Jinks is over the relay chain.

Taking Pixie with him to fly into the lead.

And what a relay technique.

Pixie passes his baton to Dixie

for a perfect catch.

And the baton's impact tumbles the Yogis.

The Yogi's are ahead on their way to the finish

as Brenda closes in for the baton exchange

with Dastardly right in her wake.

And there's the handover.

Oh, move it, Dee Dee.

boing

[male narrator] Now it's the Rotten's turn.

And Dastardly is off running in mid air.

Uh-huh, you ridiculous Rotten.

You can't run in mid air.

Oh, dadgum, you're right.

thud

blub blub blub

But why did you have to open your big mouth and tell me?

Sufferin' seaweed, I concur with him.

Now we have to swim to the finish, too, Mildew.

Oh, no, not here.

Where those sudden mysterious tidal waves occur.

You mean occurred.

So forget swimming.

We're about to be waved to shore.

[male narrator] Abandon the beach.

A tidal wave's coming.

splash

Oh, well, that was the finish, folks.

Now we'll switch to our instant frame by frame replay camera

to see the race results.

Dee Dee and Dixie are tied

coming up to the finish banner. What's this?

Dastardly was flipped up

and over them both

in the first place to win.

Then ten ounce Dixie

sailed past Dee Dee for second.

Which puts the Scoobys last.

I can't believe it.

We have an incredible upset, folks.

The Rottens' win, give them 75 points.



And 60 for the Yogis.

Now, here are today's Laff-A-Lympics champs, folks.

[all cheering]

It's the Rotten's first.

I don't believe what I hear.

Neither do I, Snag.

gobble gobble gobble

I've been around our athletic turkeys so much

I think I'm hearing them in my headphone.

You need a rest, Mildew.

But maybe I do, too.

I must be hallucinating.

Seeing things, even.

As long as we don't see our

All-Star klutzes till next week

we'll be okay.

gobble gobble gobble gobble

Gah, not okay.

Now they even look like the turkeys they are.

I've slipped a cog.

So, funny farm, here I come.

I have too, Mildew, so..

Funny farm, here we both come.

gobble gobble gobble

[male narrator] And so, as Turkey bids us farewell

we'll say goodbye to Turkey.

But join us next week

where the ridiculously impossible

always happens

at the All-Star Laff-A-Lympics.

[theme music]

clank

screech screech

screech

Aaah!

[music continues]