01x10 - Mavis of the Apes

[bunniefuu]

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is

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she doesn't look too happy celeste is

pining for bert

it was the meanest orangutan i ever you

keep your eye on her let me know if she

gets any worse

school holiday is getting you down mitch

they've cleaned me out movies popcorn

ice creams

new clothes they're growing on purpose

you know it's a malicious teenage plot

to bankrupt me anything going on

anything to do

any jobs we're broke well someone it

comes out of our pockets these jobs

your rates are too high suzy your dad's

been talking to them

boy you adults really stick together

ken bennett's plane should have landed

we know we're going to meet him at the

front gate

i thought celeste would be happy to see

bert gone he was always bashing her

when he broke her arm laugh can be very

strange

yeah he'll pick up something in a

duty-free shop dirt cheap

mr bennett always gets great presents

he's bringing me a star walker helmet

and an alien neutralizer from japan

you've got no style tim

presents should be a surprise is the

plane like

i don't understand it landed on time

the never seen was to pick up mr spencer

and that that mr bennett two hours ago

maybe they were hijacked oh not after

they've landed

i do hope there hasn't been an accident

limos don't have accidents

sports cars trucks and motorcycles have

accidents not limos

here they come

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enough davis

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wow this is really neat

this is wonderful they say it's

unbeatable by anything but a superior

mind

tim customs got very thorough after mr

spencer lost his temper with it

i can't believe you're trying to bring

an ostrich handbag into australia well

that's why in such a filthy mood

it's no fun being questioned for two

hours did they give you a body search

no they felt sorry for me after mr

spencer raved on about how he knew

people in high places

but uh i'm afraid they confiscated your

star walker helmet and your alien

neutralizer

why because they're on the list of

things considered injurious to small

children

i'm not a small child sorry mate

but i've got you something much better

it's a real collector's item

a john f kennedy half dollar

well you heard of president kennedy yeah

he got shot well you certainly made a

name for yourself

everywhere we went they talked about the

success of your gorilla breeding program

any interest in our plan uh-huh what

plan you haven't told us about any plan

primate world primary world

can you imagine the area between here

and the arboreal primates it's a great

varied jungle as close as possible to a

biologically natural habitat

so they can feel free act normally breed

normally

i might have guessed bragging about your

success

ah our success mr spencer you can forget

primate world

i won't be putting a penny of the

bequest money into that project what

but you agreed it's a question of

loyalty you have no backbone

allowing those petty officials in

customs to humiliate me saying nothing

in my defense

you were bringing in an ill*gal item i

was totally unaware of that you should

have spoken up

i couldn't get a word in well now you

shall

suffer for that omission if the primates

will suffer

better come and have a look at celeste

okay

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she's not playing

see what you mean

that's disgusting yes but it's the best

bit

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do you mean hanky

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you're crying it's just a cult that's

all

it's out of your business you're crying

that's because you didn't get a present

isn't it

it's clean he could have taken me with

him

i love traveling i've always stood by

him

i don't think he even thought of me

one card that's all i got buckingham

palace and those snails in the letterbox

had

eaten the queen standard off the top

and then then he shouted at me

you hurt him i know hey

i didn't get a real present either all i

got was

this coin

you should be very proud of this timothy

i think everyone in the world remembers

where they were and what they were doing

when they heard he'd be assassinated

i wasn't born i used to think thomas was

like him

john kennedy took his wife everywhere

she went to europe with him

jackie didn't have to make do with a

postcard of

a palace

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what's the list come on girl

we love you we all love you i

i know you're missing bird what's going

on

that's celeste under the sack the female

orangutan

who's bert a male he was here online for

breeding purposes

but he was a rotten husband though it

wasn't good

you remember when i put that cast on

your arm

foot broke her arm how awful it's worse

than being shouted at

you know the weird part she's upset that

he's gone

come on girlie show me your pretty face

she looks so sad will she have to stay

alone

she will now primate world would have

been different

the ranks could have had a real family

life in the jungle

well when do we start building it it's

off

well mr spencer got really angry with mr

bennett and that's how he's punishing

him

oh is he

primate world can go ahead without the

aid of a spencer be quest

i don't think you understand i suppose

you think that my committees are simply

a diversion for a bored housewife

heavens no last year we raised more than

one hundred thousand dollars

isn't she terrific what's the estimated

cost of primate world

uh five hundred thousand dollars how

long will it take to build

two years i shall need a report on your

tour of the overseas

zoos mr bennett i shall need veterinary

information on the benefits to the

primates from dr mitchell

have you done any market research on

this

uh i've prepared a questionnaire good we

shall need all the ammunition we can get

to attract big investors

what are you planning mr spencer my plan

is to form

primate world committee my aim is to

raise one million dollars

why one million in my experience

estimates are always wrong

it pays to be realistic mr bennett

you know you're looking very tired jet

lag

must be fancy maver spencer wow

hey i helped who's on the committee

mrs spencer and i'm ex-officio what does

that mean

it means i'm important mrs spencer and i

have discussed the committee at length

she's writing to the governor general

tonight i suppose his lordship here

won't remember his old

friends now he's mixing with society

you might be able to help promise from

the rich man's table

we need some research done a survey

yeah mr spencer's gonna help us missouri

i'm on your side

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you an industrial spy or are you the new

zoo director

i'm a market researcher

sure he wouldn't like to be the new

director that would mean i could go home

i've got a deal for you don't go to

sleep

that's the jet lag i'm not asleep it's

just my eyes keep slamming shut

okay this is the deal i organize the

interviews

and the team nick will do the computer

analysis

it's a base rate plus two bucks a

completed interview it's competitive i

checked naturally

decided and you can have your desk back

this is monstrous harvard not okay done

the primate committee know about this

they suggested it

we know the zoo best and children's

attitudes are important

but tell me something what was the

bottom line

a quarter of the original quote

the twins are really growing up bono and

zuma

he looks a tough little chat he's

already got some bad habits

if he gets worse the keepers won't be

able to go into the enclosure with him

how old are they seven and their mother

died

it's terrible to think of them growing

up without parents

they could turn into delinquents

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oh we are all very pleased that this

interest you are showing in our

mrs spencer what's this primate cake

it's a bit like music full of vitamins

and things they love it

it looks like food for humans you are a

primate too

mrs spencer like try a bit

please

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it's quite tasty this morning okay let

me know if there's anything on you

what's wrong

it's celeste be a dog female r*pe why

the towel when a rains get depressed

their skin dries out

the treatment's quite simple we soak the

tail in baby oil

give it to the animal

so you visit the zoo on average three

times a year

that's my dad he's the zoo vet hey look

at that kiddo

that nice man is talking to the gorilla

they're orangutans look

he's giving the monkey a towel to play

with towel

my towel

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sorry about your towel susie it's okay

dad

with the number of interviews suzy's

getting she'll be able to fly to los

angeles to replace it

hey edge are you there yeah come in andy

look

we can't get celeste into the night cage

i reckon it's going to be too cold for

just a heated pad tonight

oh well you're the only one she responds

to mate

it worries me what

this thinking is celeste

well shelani ate it mitch vader she's

becoming too

attached to humanity

[Applause]

where's your jacket celeste got it

what's happened

i think she made a pass at me

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so that people can see what apes really

like

oh look she's wearing mitch's jacket

mavis this has to stop

what has to stop

go away

i know you've been going behind my back

siding with my enemies

openly defying me making me a

laughingstock

i think you're overreacting overreacting

i thought you loved me thomas i do

it's just that i don't like you very

much at the moment

a good wife would back her husband and

his decisions shouldn't a good husband

support his wife in hers

who do you think you are margaret

thatcher thomas

as a friend of the zoo and chairperson

of primate world committee i see my

responsibilities quite clearly

i intend to fight for a better zoo and a

better future

if you're not with me thomas then you

are against me

so it's w*r mavis

it's whatever you care to make it my

dear

the only surplus male is in toronto

i've consulted two animal behaviorists

and a psychiatrist who deals in the

battered wife

and i suggest that i should withdraw

from her i don't know how long i can

keep that up

she's losing condition fast

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i can't get celestine i reckon there's

going to be a frost again tonight

okay well let's forget the shrinks looks

like i better run the risk of another

amorous embrace no i'll don't julie she

could k*ll you has it occurred to you

that she might need another woman to

talk to

oh come on look first she was beaten up

by bert

well then he was sent away then you

convinced her you cared about her

and when she gives you a gesture of

affection you spurn it

pretty heavy-handed gesture yeah well if

i was celeste i'd have absolutely no

faith in the male of the species i'll

turn to a woman for help

you better get with her andrew

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she spat at me and it's your fault what

did i do well

celeste has seen you and julie together

and she's jealous

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that's my good girl

that's my good baby

oh bennett you want a word with me yes

but you're wondering why i'm standing on

my head i wouldn't lower myself

it's relaxing it puts everything into

perspective you've got odd socks

honestly this is my wife's fault she's

become obsessed with this monkey

business

what's all this nonsense about a

function no don't ask me

ask the chairperson of the private world

committee

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if you want a word with me you'll have

to be swift i have a lot to do before

the function this afternoon

i notice i'm not on the guest list the

businessmen and dignitaries have been

asked to bring their wives

as my husband you'll be coming with me

it's the same thing

really i don't know what's come over you

mavis

do you know i'm wearing odd socks

you used to be so sweet perfect wife the

power behind the throne

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our home was a calm haven

but now i have to search for you at

computer terminals or

hobnobbing with the staff

you've changed it is as if

you were a stranger you haven't been the

same since

since the day i got home yes

that was the day the day i got home

make sure you're ready for the function

dear

and don't try to wear matching socks

i'm sure you all agree with me that

primate world

will make royal melbourne zoo one of

this country's

finest attractions but in these sorry

days

nothing is achieved without money so i

hope you've all brought your checkbooks

with you

now our zoo director mr kenneth bennett

and my colleague and helper mr timothy

watson

will acquaint you with the details of

this great and

noble project

g'day thank you tim

well as you can see by this model

primate world is unashamedly ambitious

we have planned a concept for the care

and housing are you wearing matching

socks

i went out and bought something oh yes

i bought something else too

it's a peace offering i've behaved like

an absolute cat i was too ashamed to

tell you about the

present that was confiscated by customs

[Applause]

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they were brought with love published

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i have something very special for the

first person to write a check

for primate world it's a john

f kennedy half dollar a real collector's

item

dad just making things worse the only

way you can help her is to turn into an

orangutan

no thanks celeste needs love

but she needs a love oh you mean a vet's

compassion doesn't help

what about bono and sumer you reckon

they'd make good vets

have you heard the word surrogate bono

and zuma have no mother

no one to learn from celeste needs to

show her love

so put them together well i've thought

of it but it's so dangerous

celeste could k*ll the twins or they

could both attack her because she's weak

how long will celeste live if she

doesn't start eating

and what about the twins they're growing

up getting strong

they'll have to be separated or

introduced to other ranks sometimes

well it'll make sense but there could be

such a battle that no one survives we

could be left without a single orangutan

dad someone has to take a chance

what do you think

i hope this works it's got to

it's a list

come on girl let me take you away from

all this

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you two okay here fine they attack each

other we'll try and distract them

here come the twins

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bono

here comes celeste zuma

he's gonna spot her in a minute

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huh on your way home nobody's going home

tonight

you want me for an egg yes how much did

my wife's efforts raise today

very impressive well

the spencer bequest will match this

and provide the balance on one condition

i think i can read your mind the project

must be called the

spencer primate world i'm definitely

clairvoyant

thank you mr spencer

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seven get up and see

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what do you think about happy family

still think you're the other one

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oh

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foreign

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