01x12 - What price honour?

[bunniefuu]

every time I look at

you I'm so glad that you're the

one I've been growing closer

to as the years have come and

gone sharing for good or

ill hardly a day

aart old out side but still

young at heart

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oh so you've got up then I've been up

for ages I thought you were going to

have a li in no no no I wanted to press

me

trousers like a cup of tea oh I'd love

one oh well the kettle's

boiling

Albert what up you've got no trousers on

well I couldn't very well press and with

them on could I but it's not decent

wondering about your underpant suppose

somebody came to the door well all they

could see is me legs you talk as if I'm

standing here in the nude put your

trousers on before anybody comes

somebody already has come who oh Mrs

Lawson next door but one oh my God yes

she she came to borrow the sticky tape

weren't you embarrassed no but uh I

think she

was I I uh went to uh open the uh door

and the wind Bloomer sht

up you get worse anyway there there's

nothing shameful about the human body

that's only your opinion I mean it's

only because we've covered it up that

we're ashamed of what we've got you

speak for yourself I mean they never

wore nothing in the old days did they

who didn't prehistoric men I mean they

never had threepiece suits and frocks

I'd like to think we'd come on a bit

since then yeah

well it's stuffed when you think about

it what is wearing

clothes I mean we all we all know what

we've got underneath that's no reason to

flaunt

it well I think the world would be a

better place if we all went round in the

nude oh don't talk so stupid no no no I

mean it if we all went around naked we'd

have equality well I don't don't know

about

equality but we'd all have

pneumonia I did

it hello oh oh hello love who is

it how you mean who is it oh yes yes yes

yes we're both fine who is it oh well

what for Albert yes yes mhm yes yes yes

tomorrow all right love thank you yes

yes

Terah have you gone death

hey I've been asking who it was for the

past few minutes well you you know I'm a

bit deaf in this ear come and have some

te oh you are aggravating who is that on

the phone oh oh that was our Mary oh

what did she want she's invited us over

at the weekend oh that's nice what for

she didn't say she said uh she had a

surprise for us what sort of a surprise

she didn't say she's nearly as

aggravating as you

are hey happen she's got engaged well

she'd just said so wouldn't she you know

um I'm worried about her what fool well

it's not natural you know I mean uh

nearly 30 and uh not married well she

always was independent I know but it's

it it's still not natural

I don't think she's gone

without Gone without

what you

know you don't mean I

do no no no no not not our Mary why ever

not she hasn't taken the vows I know but

I mean she wouldn't I mean well uh well

our Mary wouldn't it's

1982 Albert there's no Al ultimate

deterrent anymore no what ultimate

deterrent

pregnancy FK can do it today without any

risk I suppose you're suggesting our

Mary's on the pill well if she's got any

sense she is I don't know how you can

talk like that about your own daughter

I'll tell you something Albert klier if

the pill had been around when I was a

girl I wouldn't have been a virgin when

I walked up the aisle

you did everything you could to get me

into your

bed just for a cuddle you

said I knew what you were

after I didn't get it did

I no but you might have done if I'd been

on the

pill well I'll be begged 40 years and

I'm still finding things out about you

well you know what they say Still Waters

Run

Deep I

well I think I'll just slip down to the

post office and collect our

pension Yes dear now sh they long Albert

Yes dear I've never asked you this and I

hope you won't take offense oh well uh

what is it well um when we got married

were you um well you

know

pure you mean was I um um innocent well

yes Ethel what a question to

ask and if I told you you'd be as wise

as me wouldn't

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you are you sure we're on the right

platform for Manchester look I've asked

the fellow in the booking office the

lady in the refreshment room and a

porter now there's nothing else I can do

short of phoning Peter Parker

I wouldn't have minded a bar a chocolate

oh get you one what do you fancy um

fruit and nut

right oh egg what have you doing would

you like some chewing gum I wanted fruit

or

nut oh excuse me yes mister I wanted

fruit and nut pardon well I put 20p in

this machine for fruit and nut and I got

this chewing gum yeah you must have

press the wrong button uh if if I give

you this chewing gum will you give me

20p no I don't like chewing gum can't

you change it sorry those machines have

nothing to do with us British ra just

let the space you'll have to put in

another 20p I haven't got another 20p

hard look

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hey you can't do

that it's too late I've done it hey like

you said these machines have nothing to

do with

you think I better go go where well you

know just to just to be on the safe side

well you've only just been you can't

want to go again I know but uh uh there

may not be a l on the train then I'll

worry about uh wanting to go then I then

I will want to go oh for goodness sake

go on then but hurry

up the 105 local train for Manchester is

now approaching platform 2 calling at

mfield and all stations to Manchester

you know

it Albert the Train's here

Albert excuse me how long does this

train stop as long as it takes to get

the people on and off oh dear do you

think you could get the driver to hang

on a bit what for my husband's gone to

the toilet you better tell him to get a

move on I can't go in there can I would

you go in all

right there's nobody in there it must be

there

perhaps he's in one of the cubicles

could you go knock on the door his

name's Albert

Albert what have you been came out the

wrong sh in the other platform oh quick

it's

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going that's not my wife

sorry out

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I can't see anything give her a

chance

Mary it's your M dad Mar

Mar why don't you shout a bit louder

they didn't hear you in the next

street she's not in she must be well

let's have a look through the

window there's no sign of

anybody boo Mary I'm sorry I wasn't in

you really I expected where have you

been uh I'll tell you later I expect you

both die for a cup of tea you know what

I'm dying for you well you know where it

is does he not your

dad you're looking well Mom mustn't

Grumble now what's all this about all in

good time Mom you're not in any trouble

are you no what is it then you'll find

out in about 10 minutes look sit

yourself

down uh you know where everything is

don't you I'll be back where are you

going

well just got to do something I shall

belong oh see you later dad

Mary where's she gone God knows but

there's something funny going on a and I

know what it is what she's living over

the

brush it's true etel she's living living

of the fell how do you know take a look

in the bathroom shaving brush razor

After Shave not to mention the

Underpants hanging up to

dry perhaps she's taken in washing

a and perhaps pork Vil will win the

European

Cup she's living with a fell anybody in

oh

sorry you must be Mary's parents

I've just called to change me trousers

and uh who might you be Charlie Miller

but ol live here

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well that's it isn't it she's living

with a punk oh sh butt he might hear you

I don't care if he does well perhaps

they're just good friends what with his

trousers hanging up in her wardrobe she

must be out of her mind well it's her

life Albert she's still our daughter

daugh perhaps she's in love with him how

can she be with that

hair besides he's younger than her well

that wouldn't be the first time it's

happened but it's not happening to her I

mean it's not natural only this morning

you were saying it wasn't natural that

she would still be without a fell well

she ought to find somebody more own type

you wait till she gets back oh hope

you're not going to be too angry with

her no no love no no no no no I'm not

angry you're not no I'm just R Furious

well this is it um I want mom and dad

approve of you

hey it's your approval that's important

to me not theirs I still say you should

have told them about us before well

they're a bit

oldfashioned I mean I could hardly tell

them in a letter could I um dear Mom and

Dad I've met this marvelous fell I've

moved in with him and I've let me flap

to a PK rocker little about a fit they

may still have a fit oh I hope not Hey

listen I tell you what can you stay in

the hall for a few minutes give them

time to get used to the

idea

hello oh you're back then is something

the matter should there be well I don't

know but you giving me some very funny

looks well I'm not

surprised look um I've got something to

tell you you needn't bother

we know hey we've met him met who high

water Oh you mean Charlie yes he's

upstairs now in your bedroom changing

his trousers did he tell you he was

living here yes oh good I thought

perhaps you might not approve you

thought right I mean how could you do it

well it seemed like a good idea and the

money's useful money

yes I charge him £25 a

week you mean he pays

you well you don't expect me to let him

have it for

nothing it it gets

worse I'm sorry Mary I felt rather silly

waiting in the hall who's this um well

this is a surprise I don't think I can

send another Alan this is Mom and Dad

I'm delighted to meet you both how' you

do now have you told them told us told

us what well well um you see Alan and I

we and

we we're in love hey in love yes and

we're living

together well I've heard about the

permissive Society this is just bloody

ridiculous what about Charlie what about

him doesn't he object well of course not

why should

he she see Mr colia I have this place of

my own and it seemed ridiculous my

moving in here so I moved in with Alan

and we let this place to

Charlie oh I see he rents it does he yes

oh you hear that Albert well I'm not

deaf it's just the lodger well you don't

mind do you what is there to mind well

some people are prejudiced about Lads

like Charlie oh no not us no no no makes

no difference to us do you know no no no

we we're all human beings well I think

we'll have that cup of tea now oh I'll

go and put the kettle on I'll come and

help you no no no no you stay I want you

and Alan to get

acquainted

well I must say it's nice to meet you

both

yes did you have a good journey quite

pleasant we came by train oh yes it's

quite quick these

days oh the age of the

train

yes oh you're not saying much Mr Cola I

will I

start what's your prospects

pardon who do you work for well

nobody

oh that's nice on the Dole are you or

are you living off our Mary's money

Albert well then how we all getting on

well I wouldn't say it was exactly like

a house on fire did you know that he

hadn't got a job he doesn't need a job

he's got his own

business

oh

satisfied oh well uh has he asked you to

marry him

why well if you're good enough to live

with you're good enough to be his wife

now listen Dad no you listen to me I

know it's

1982 and I know I'm a bit oldfashioned

but I'll not have you living in sin who

says it's a sin it's in the Bible

whereabouts I I don't know I don't know

but it's in there somewhere now look Mr

all right Alan I'll take care of this

the Tea's getting old so uh you don't

approve of us living together then Dad

no I don't and you'd prefer us to get

married yes I would I see a a proper

wedding you mean in a in a church yes

yes just like your mom and me had

Wedding Dress Bridesmaids reception yep

everything all

right huh oh well you mean you agree

well if it'll make you happy oh well

that's Champion oh I'm so pleased Mary

when is the happy day to be well that's

up to

Dad he well you'll be paying for

it go right let's see we'll keep the

guest list down to about what

50 shouldn't cost you more than about

£500 help yourself to Milk and Sugar

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well well what you were the one who

wanted to go out for a walk to think

have your thought I

well well I reckon if we start saving up

now we'll have enough to pay for the

reception in about 10 years time on the

other hand if prices keep Rising the way

they have been by that time it'll be

double and we'll have to start again

what are we going to do well perhaps

they'd uh perhaps they'd settle for just

a small wedding or just just the two of

us and a takeaway after perhaps I should

just live in

sin well it's one we the other Albert

make your mind

up

Mary perap she's out the back

Mary yes Mom oh you Dad dad wants to

speak to you yes

Dad well um it's about um Alan and

you is

that yes well um your mom and I have

been discussing it and uh well uh it is

U 1982 and uh I know it's not you know

exactly the same as when your mom and I

were married and uh well I mean

lots of people do live together well

what's so funny about you you are dad oh

bless

here we're getting married you're not we

are don't don't panic dad there's no

need to panic we're only having a small

do and Alan's pain oh that's

good why didn't you tell us I was going

to until Dad got on his high horse and

started laying the fall down heyy I'm

sorry love when you're getting married

then this afternoon this this

afternoon well that's a that's a bit

quick isn't it well we thought it best

not to wait hey you're not in the club

are

you which one

conservative labor or liberal now you

know what I mean no I'm not no well not

yet anyway you're planning on having a

family though oh yes oh we're going to

be grandparents again oh

have you got the names yet give us a

chance Dad let's get married first why

he seems a nice fellow your Alan I think

he is

hi Charlie you you've met my mom and dad

how'd you do 104 pardon well that sort

of means hello why the hell don't you

say hello Dynamite the brakes buddy boy

that sort of means stop it big eights

and other good numbers for you and your

other half is he from this planet CB

Jingo CB s some band radio sounds like

double dut to me oh thank you Charlie

keep the bugs off the glass and the

Bears off your tail 10 10 till we meet

again it's another language isn't it oh

heck look at the time I better go on get

ready Al will think I'm not turning up

what time are you getting married then

in half an hour oh change

I better do something to my face what

are you going to do I'll give you three

guesses say cheese

everybody

Chee come on Alan let's not keep

everybody waiting all right byebye

thanks for

coming you got a good one there I will

see you later bye bye bye by bye

bye I only hope to be happy Albert after

half as happy as we've been I'll not do

too

badly every time I look at

you I'm so glad that you're

the I've been growing closer

to

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as sh

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be a day

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of still

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