01x10 - I Do Like to Be Beside the Seaside

[bunniefuu]

every time I look at

you I'm so glad that you're the

one I've been growing closer

to as the years have come and

gone sharing for good or

ill hardly a day

aart old out side but still

young

[Music]

at come in it's a

shop good morning it's never three

months since you read our meter doesn't

time fly well you know what it is have I

missed tea then no there's some in the

pot here help yourself you haven't seen

Albert in your travels I suppose have

you yeah uh no well he went out about

half an hour ago to get some tobacco I

think he must have gone to Nottingham

for

it morning

Albert morning Albert he no one Barber

hey just off to work know we're planning

to Wich out around the potteries

certainly no Mr C is in one of his funny

moods you're up about Eary hi I've just

been to the station police fire our

power Railway I'm taking eth to

Blackpool tomorrow in one of those

British Rail have it away days I knew

they were trying to improve things

that's going a bit fast discuss you know

what I mean a bit Parky this time of

year still it' be nice going a bit of

fresh SE

a e doesn't know about it yet it's a

surprise and I don't let on will you oh

we won't say a word hey what day is it

tomorrow Saturday tell you what we'll

come and wave you off hi oh well that

that's really nice of you Norman Albert

Coming Love sh no not a word

[Music]

how long does it take you to get a tin

of tobacco oh the shop was full oh come

on we'll never get out at this rate hang

on a minute now what is it I think I

better go go you know the doings I

thought You' been all but I might want

to go when I'm out and there might not

be anywhere to go so you know how the

cold affects me oh all right hurry up

then thanks for the tea you haven't used

much gas we can't afford to use much at

your prices I hear Mr Coler is doing a

bit of gardening now who told you next

door oh nosy Nora she's a m of

information tells me everything all the

Scandal who's had new curtains who's

behind with the rent which house Milkman

stays longest at can't stand nosy

Parkers which house does the Milkman

stay longest

at i d tell you see I look upon myself

as a repository for other people's

Secrets a kind of father Confessor oh

really yeah people can confide their

most intimate secrets in me and they go

no further very nice for you I don't

suppose you've got any Intimate Secrets

you'd like to confide well as a matter

of fact I have oh that's good it's very

intimate and very personal that's all

right you can't shock me what is it your

FES

undone you're pulling my leg

serves you

right hello oh good morning Mr ker if

you finished we want to go out I thought

you said it was tomorrow

what nothing oh yes H nothing oh nothing

no nothing nothing no no no thought we'd

just um go out for a walk very nice yes

you know get a bit of fresh air listen

to the birds and look at the flowers

flowers H you'll not see any flowers

this time of year where were we're going

where's that the sh

[Music]

he are

m'am

o you're all right Albert oh oh my KN I

think I've got pin and needles oh

they're nice where'd you get the flowers

from from that new Grave up there you

can't steal flowers from other people's

Graves well I only borrow them I they

got hundreds of bunches up there they're

not Miss half a dozen Bloons you get

worse I'll thank you not to put stolen

flowers on me when I'm gone did you

enjoy your walk not much my mom and

dad's Grave's been

desecrated what do you mean well you

know when my Mom and Dad we had that

inscription for Tom United forever all

well somebody's written underneath City

for the

cup yes oh well I have a work with the

stone Mason you soon get it

we hope so I see Mr won's had a stone

put up for his

ver about time too shouldn't been buried

for any5 years ever such a nice

inscription no more sorrow no more pain

at Heaven's Gates we'll meet again well

she'll be lucky pardon well he'll never

get to Heaven's Gate he's one of the

biggest Rogues in stove it could repent

I hope he doesn't for her sake she

couldn't stand it when he was alive

excuse me I I'm looking for a grave oh

oh well you've come to the right place

I'm trying to find dson Sarah dearly

beloved of Charles oh yes I know that

one you go up here you turn left at the

Headless Angel Jarvis Henry sleeping

gently sleeping then right at the black

marble cross Williams Frank gone but not

forgotten you'll find Dobson next to the

green cherub Harker Emily two greatly

loved in life to ever be forgotten in

death you can't miss it it's covered in

Weeds

come on let's go home and I'll make a

nice cup of tea I got a better idea than

that why don't we go to The Rifleman oh

we shouldn't be wasting our money on

drink but it won't cost us anything oh

they're giving it away now no it's

Friday what's that got to do with it Bay

day the prob will be full all the fellas

will be there from the factory one of

them is bound to buy us a drink

[Music]

all there's nobody in I can see that

shop oh hello Albert Mrs colia where is

everybody oh well it's early yet but I

mean the lads in the factory usually

here by this time no they stopped coming

in some time ago oh you've been watering

the beer well no more than usual no well

I don't understand it I mean payday and

nobody in perhaps they've all gone too

total oh no fear no it's ever since they

started getting paid by check oh well uh

best be getting home Ethel well aren't

you having a drink oh that's very kind

of

you I was offering to serve you not

treat

you well we might as well have one now

that we're

here here you good I love a pine and a

sweet cherry for me small ah

right well that'll be uh just 80 P

please Albert

80P I can remember the days when you get

drunk on a

tner these days you need to get get a

mortgage yeah well don't blame me I only

work

here there you go Albert all right thank

you yeah

cheers thank

you J cheers

sh be a minute now where you want to you

know oh yes it's a cold

weather velvet oh I do like to be beside

the

Seas always singing as

Norman Kia it's all right Norman I know

all about it what Blackpool tomorrow how

do you know we've got a mole in the

street

you can't keep a secret around here for

very long but I don't want to spoil

Albert's bit of pleasure I'll wait till

it tells me would you like a drink oh no

thanks I've just come in for a packet of

H 20 tip please John no all right

nor 75 P

please did you say have a drink have a

drink thanks very much just a

pound come on sh up are we going is

Norman going to buy us another drink

no oh well back to the Grind see you

later here go Albert I've been thinking

about

tomorrow tomorrow yes I thought we might

go over and visit our

David no no I don't um I don't fancy

going over there well why ever not

you're always going on about not seeing

enough of him I but I I just don't feel

like going over tomorrow well what about

going over to Manchester to see our Mary

we haven't seen know for a while no no

no it's no it's too far it only takes

3/4 of an hour on the train you do make

things awkward I don't know what you

mean well I'll have to tell you now tell

me what well I'd um plan to take you out

for the day tomorrow oh Albert what a

lovely

surprise and I've always liked

Blackpool yes well I I knew that

that's I never mentioned Blackpool

didn't you love you knew didn't you eh

huh you knew all the time Yes Albert but

it's still a lovely

surprise here's the L bound to my should

drink hello lunch

[Music]

are this must be it are you sure well

that's what he said on time D what

platform number two Blackpool there

doesn't seem to be anybody on this train

well it's better than being full we can

stretch our legs is we doing Johnny yes

you're all

right hey bring us a sticker Ro back we

would to see any hey I wonder if that

Chap's still on the pier what Chap's

that the one with the foot ointment

marvelous stuff he's got testimonials

from all over the world that's nice for

him a wonderful place Blackpool you get

him a joker for me what time did you get

there I don't know um excuse me what

time does this train get to Blackpool it

done it pardon the only place this train

is going insiding well where's the black

pool train then Platform

One come on nor get this door

room need to rush why not it left 2

minutes ago

[Music]

[Music]

all right all

right give us a drink give us a drink

what's up with you you ill or what yes

I'm dying of bloody thirst there's no

need to swear it's not opening time yet

it's 10 minutes past opening not time

yet yeah not by my watch it's not they

are told her you were wrong he's got a

shop Steward's watch the work oh very

satirical oh we're going to have a drink

or what all right keep your shirt

on

right what do you want uh I have a

bottle of lger right and what are you

fancy G

apart from me that is well apart from

you practically everything go on you

love me blushing um a tomato juice a

tomato juice my love you can have the

greatest of pleasure you're so L BL

dropped dead in here last week it didn't

did it I did I was waiting for a

drink

patience it's opening time it'll be

closing time if you don't pull your

finger out all right that will be

please there you go my

Lord you uh say Have a Drink don't you

yeah you're not catching me with that

one again there you are a pound oh fine

keep the chain keep the chain thanks

very

much it

again here I'm only joking go on how's

your wife oh still breathing worst look

you do say some awful things about her

oh well she's always nagging I mean

rabbit rabbit rabbit when we go on

holiday the only part of her that gets

sunburnt is her tongue I don't know why

you got married oh well that's the old

story is't it I were young and foolish

she were young and pregnant I don't

believe after things you say oh well I

can't help it love I'm an impulsive liar

not impulsive compulsive no you're both

wrong it's

repulsive you can't insult me experts

have been trying for years come on

Norman drink it we've got some shopping

to do oh by the way

did Albert and his Miss get off all

right eventually they miss their train

we put them on one for Preston they get

a local connection to blackp from there

knowing them they'll probably end up in

[Music]

Southport oh Albert it's

freezing oh we should never have come

it'll it'll it'll warm up when the when

the tide comes in ask me it'll never

warm up this side of Christmas cheer up

love smell that Doo salt in the

air that's the fish and chip Shu across

the street the golden place oh good well

we going have some fish and shets for

lunch

eh first things first what's that

where's the

[Music]

jent last I'm frozen I'm sorry love Miss

zip St we go to the tower it's

[Music]

Waring closed well let's get on a tram

down to the pleasure Beach we could go

in the fun house

[Music]

everything's closed Albert it's quieter

in there than the cemetery I expect not

many people go on holiday this time of

year only D figures like us I'll tell

you what I'll buy some fish and chips at

the golden Place fish and chips we can

get that at home no I want a proper meal

at an hotel hotel that's going to set us

back a bit well we spent out so far come

on let's go mat

[Music]

I ha they doing a roaring trade in here

keep your voice down we're not in church

are we sh good afternoon sir good

afternoon Madam how

do a table for two is it there only two

of us here would you care to leave your

coat no no no thanks I'll h on to it

very well this way

Madam oh thank

you

up would you care for an aera sir a what

an a drink sir while you're studying the

menu I'll have a sweet cherry please a

sweet cherry for Madam and I'll have a p

he have the same the same very good sir

what' you ask for a Sweet Cherry for I

wanted a pint you don't drink pints in a

place like this oh sorry I

spoke it's very nice here yes

hi

Albert what's the matter I always took

me napkin in me collar not in here you

don't wouldn't have had all this palab

in the golden place oh stop grumbling

and look at the menu

five hey what's the matter have you seen

the

prices no wonder the really place is

empty ladies don't look at the

prices Calbert 75p what's that it's a

cover charge for coming

in 75 pet to come in

I better not go to the toilet they

charge me a pound to

pee shut up and decide what you're going

to

eat terine do Che that's Pat Pat I don't

fancy that c*ck or creat cette

deer it's prawn c*ck why don't they

put prawn c*ck it's French oh must

be something to do with us being in the

common market all the Posh places write

their menues in French how do you know

so much about it well I watched the

cooking programs on the

telly are you having the pra no no I

don't like bronze well um why don't you

have some

soup isn't any yes there is look it's

there

potage potage

well what sort of soup is that

vegetable right I love

potage and um fish chips and

peas they don't have fish and chips in

places like

this sweet cherry for Madam oh thank you

and for you

sir are you ready to order sir no no I'm

not I am very well Madam I think I'll

have the pron and the pom Alum met and

the petty P what's that fish chips and

[Applause]

peas that's

£450

Albert £450 for fish chips and peas you

can get them for 90p at the golden place

they throwing in the bread and butter as

well and very nice too

pardon I go there myself wonderful

value the prices they charge here are

diabolical Liberty et why don't we go

there no sense in chucking good money

away well it is a bit expensive here but

we'll pay for the Sherry don't worry

about that Madam have them with my

compliments oh thank you very much my

pleasure

enjoy K what a nice man

chips mushy beas here we

go

I oh thank you so much

[Applause]

[Music]

Madam oh sorry some fish and chips oh

they were good though weren't they you

can't beat fishing chips no pity about

the car

oh never mind that we can't let that

spil we got three hours before we cat we

got to enjoy our all all

[Music]

[Music]

oops

[Music]

M well it's warmy here yes and I didn't

like the way those seagulls kept dive

bombing me either oh well you know they

say it's lucky if one does it on your

head I wouldn't know about

that you will not oh

look you're having me

on do you want to walk down the end of

the pain and watch some fishing in this

weather no thank you

I've enjoyed

today so have

I they've had some good times in

Blackpool

e yes we have

L remember the first time we came here

when we were recording yeah we stayed at

the SE

view Mrs lawon and and there was a mix

up in the boings and she put us on our

honor in a twin beded

room and you made me go out on the

landing to get unrest I

remember I'll tell you something

now I never slept to Wi that night I lay

awake trying to BL up the courage to

climb out of my bed and get into

yours I was awake most of the night

wishing you

would I

was still I'm glad you didn't yes so am

I you were waiting

for if you had your life over again

would you do the same yes I would yes

yes have no complaints oh that's nice

mind you um there is one thing that I

would change knowing what I know now

what's

that well next time I would get into you

a

bit hey come on this still got some time

before the train I tell you what I'll

take you to yates's Wine Lodge and buy a

glass of Dash champagne oh lovely come

[Applause]

on

I I'm so

[Music]

[Applause]

glad I've

[Music]

been years comeone

caring the good or

ill I the day

of

all still

[Applause]

[Music]