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01x07 - To Be or Not to Be Evil

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "G vs E". Aired: July 18, 1999 – May 12, 2000.*
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G vs E pitted a group of agents who are assigned to "the Corps", a secret agency under the command of Heaven, against the "Morlocks", a group of evildoers from Hell.

01x07 - To Be or Not to Be Evil

Post by bunniefuu »

man I'm nervous don't be yeah but you don't understand this is a big chance for me to audition for Todd charlson te

entertainment mod have audition for him tons of times well the thing about Todd is he he can be a little theatrical what

do you mean well I mean when you meet him in person he's a little intimidating he's really loud yeah heard A monster

well I mean he didn't become the single most prolific creator of teen entertainment in the Free World by being Mr Nice Guy you know what I mean out

broken and de see what I'm saying I will gut you like fresh trout I laugh about you with my

hot head cheerleader girlfriend I hate you I hate youth I hate you I will bring

you down k*ll

you oh you're perfectly pathetic isn't he pathetic Jessica deeply I can I can

do less pathetic if you don't like no no no no no pathetic is what we're looking for the honesty the Integrity the

intensity the the colors I had color I'm ready to put an offer on the table

right now Jessica you're offering me the price oh and much much more what could

there be more I mean just the chance to work with you I'm incredible what can I tell you I'm No Ordinary slasher F

director Gus see I respect actors I know a real actor like yourself just wants the opportunity to to practice his craft

like little practice oh yes we all get practice and the first all you have to do is one Teensy little thing this this

is our standard contract for non-represented talent it covers all media all broadcast domains and it's binding what it's a Teensy little thing

Gus you sign my special contract and I will give you your career and you'll

give me your soul I mean so how do you think that hack Marl strep still

works yeah how ow you see think's no good to

me gas no sign

you're going to be star [Music]

guess I'm not afraid of you I'm watching You Peaches I can see you and your pretty

little pigtails who are you you know who I am

you okay what why you got your hands in your ears you scared no I'm not scared

oh child I'm scared it's not like I don't know the end of this show I mean they k*ll the guy comes back again they

k*ll him again he comes back again just wait minute wait you hear something at the front door oh come on I'm not that

scared you don't have to be embarrassed you know these movies are made for people who don't do what we do see what we see you know that's all right I'm

going to change the channel you be afraid no do yeah I can't stop on get me out of here

annihilate your thirst with an extreme taste you don't like me you can just take me the hell away what get off it

appears the vascular bundle inflame the synoptic nerve conduit resulting in severe trauma to your

leg I'm afraid we're going to have to amputate who W holy that's Rea tussle think of amputation as a new

and better way of life who Rea tussle man only the most incredible actress of her generation never heard of that's cuz

she got too much Integrity To Go mainstream Hollywood old school Indie actress well performance in White Widow

and social significance saved my life man I had no idea you idolize actors Henry that was a time I would have done

anything to act but have had no natural talent I don't be so hard on yourself look at

your girl now she's on call there's not much work for middle age actresses okay

she got to eat to thepress to watch but aren't you also married to a woman you know what

you you are a bigamous l*sbian you got to be kidding me I don't hate your friends in

the whole barrel of monkeys there's only one that I can't stand get the

door hi all right that's it isn't that Norris from the movie yeah he's a shovel

haded job and the k*ller the guy is everywhere

mother you this guy is on every station he must have to cut a

deal yeah that's weird a man torn from his family

m*rder*d in his prime only to return to Earth resurrected we'd like you to

become an operative in the core fight evil save Soul as an agent of the almighty cour Chandler meet your new

partner with no magic no special powers forbidden from intimate contact

unrecognizable to those from their past lives Smite and Henry mcneel now fight

to save lost soul against the minions of Darkness deals with the devil are bad it's our job to stop is he always like

this it is a battle of good versus E G versus e that's what it is

[Music]

[Music] hi his name is Gus wi and we were

watching him on I yet again know who you are and I saw what you did last winter

for and then he was on every television show yeah I mean we kept clicking you know I me and boom boom boom there he was boom boom boom boom boom boom I

don't think you guys have much of a case I mean these character actors don't they go on streaks not like he's Tom Cruz

I think this Gus guy is working too much not to raise suspicions where's this guy

this is Jasper Ray a renowned and renounced fian actor we heard you had an actor case so we brought Jasper into

consult good morning all sorry I'm late look if this Gus guy is gone fian he's just the tip of the iceberg these

Hollywood morlocks they're capable of making hundreds of deals Hollywood morlocks it just gives me the creeps to

think about I mean just imagine since the silent era all these little PR and

Peoria getting on the bus headed for Hollywood straight into the arms of the morlocks ah but this town's really

different now thanks to the efforts of this office and the rise of indie film I think you should let these boys

investigate Gus Gus could be the gateway to Major Hollywood morock you're the expert Mr Ray how do you suggest that we

proceed I know this one casting director one phone call and he gives you work as they player on any TV show I get you

work on show that gazi is working on I'm afraid we're going to have to amput W you hear that Char we're going to be on

the TV show great okay okay maybe it's worth a try go make contact with this

Gus wine see if he made a deal and if he did find out who converted him probably a

producer those are the worst of all what do you mean you wanted to try something different different doesn't sell tickets

I want the same poster as the last four minus the girl with a five instead of a four don't call me until you're

done oh this is perfect you know who I am and you saw what I did last winter

five is already in production no Tim you remember we do it the old Corman way

make the poster first then the movie were you even going to tell me that I'm not the guidance counselor Kate field high anymore Tim we haven't decided

anything yet you know I signed my soul in Blood and you're treating me like I'm an actor oh Timmy Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim I

forget how fragile my little actors are here's this

you know nobody's calling me sh listen I was thinking about going another Direction with that part but don't don't

be sad besides I wanted to talk to you about another project anyway another

project what kind of project you know how actors these days become producers well I can help you with that

transition Dam it the chance to work as a producer no I'm an actor get over

yourself actors are disposable Todd I it was bitching about work now

listen you must find us our guidance counselor this one here is about to join us Morlock any minute now we need a new

face we're going to have to work fast to find somebody and make him famous before you start to sh**t so what type should I look for I was thinking we could bring a

little ethnic diversity to Cape field high we always hear in basketball

baseball and football about the first step that first move if you don't make the first step you're going to be in for

a long day so we teach our young in to make that first move and make it to

win and go go go

go so is this what it takes now mother to bring us together finally oh son I

wish things were different oh mama

mama cut cut cut what's what side all right oh who hires these labotomy cases look

at I am really sorry everybody it must be there first day okay let's get back to one everybody

let's keep the noise down please sh oh sorry we blew that tap well like I

always tell the young fellas eat the free food and don't look in the camera light comes on you little whips

get nervous don't you don't tell me you're still nervous I mean not now now to all the time unless of course you're nervous about your contract sometimes

you know you got to make some kind of deal if you want to get booked around here you know sometimes you got to make a deal with some uh very powerful people sometimes you even got to offer them

your soul mhm look if these circumlocutions are your inept way of asking me about my

contract with Todd yeah I got one I did sign and my life is better and I get to

do what I like I get to act you got something better than

that all right we going to have to talk to you all right maybe you should be nervous nervous maybe you didn't read the fine print on your contract you're

in some serious Mr Scott are these extras bothering you Mr wine well to be

honest I am a little uncomfortable hey hey hey hey hey hey I am walking here

don't touch me you two will never work in this town again oh I've always wanted

to say that come on man we need this job to get our sad car actors we just want a chance to do what we love nice work Baby

D oh excuse me Dr Kildare you're just acting like a buffoon on the C I'm sorry

I don't have your acting background do you know how hard it is for actors to get work in this town huh I don't know about

that Jessica Seligman I'm a producer for Todd Charleston I was just on my way to

visit one of our actors Gus wine and I saw you standing here and just had to

say that uh we're always looking for new faces you have a certain quality ethnic

diversity that uh Todd likes quality huh us uh I'm I'm Henry this is Charla

Henry are you currently represented uh no no not currently Miss

call me Jessica you know I'm not really into this whole teen slasher thing working for Todd is really just a foot

in the door but um I am holding the auditions for his upcoming project you

should audition wow well um you know me and Charlie here are kind of

Partners you could bring your little friend if few must but wow Todd

Charleston so uh will we uh get to meet the man call my office for the details nice work today

ciao CIA you got nothing to say here no apology nothing you just leave me hanging in the wind huh look like Fame

and Fortune has got someone's here to spinning all different direction son

much like well much like the tributaries we live adjacent to I appreciate the fact that the Fathers and Sons can

converse with such a falconar and eloquence but that in no way helps me determine whether I should go to third base with Josie ah son please excuse my

metaphorical meanderings it's just my incredibly convoluted way of saying you

you got to go with your heart the loss of innocence in our own lives that's why

this show has Universal appeal I think this was created by the same guy who makes slasher Fones I don't get it kids

don't talk like that we need to study this style of action see there's a certain manner of honesty it gets good performances let's look

another one let's not look we're not going to do the audition now tell that's no way to be a team player please Todd

Charleston is Major Zeitgeist figure we must study his work I want you guys to follow through on this audition I want

you to get next to this Todd guy speaking for myself I don't think I could convince anybody that I'm an actor

that's true he wasn't even convincing as an ex why thank you Henry but that's what I'm talking about boys I can coach

you mold you hey let him mold you this Charles was nothing but a new fangle version of a classical Hollywood Morlock

we got to do everything in our power to bring him down break a leg [Music]

fellas to act we need [Music]

space acting is a serious business you have to have the passion for it I am

here to teach you don't interrupt me when I'm talking I want you to stand yes you too A E I O u a e i o u a e i o u do

it again you a e i o inter it's all

right no he wants me to do it what is the first thing that touches the stage your feet that feet you put the toe

first then the heel and then it's ball heel ball heel B heel B heel P remember

this side's full yeah direct stand tall and nothing will ever fall balance in

everything in everything you do and everything in life very good boys this

acting exercise is all about repetition I want you to repeat over and over and over again and emotion you look angry I

look angry you look angry you look angry I look angry I look angry it's all about

connecting from moment to moment the actual truth I thought acting was all about lying truth truth your afro is at

an awkward middling length my Afro is at an awkward middling length your afro is at an awkward middling length my Afro is

at an awkward your afro are my AF my Afro out an aqua milon by George you've got it it's also about trust as an actor

you must learn to trust each other this is a very important thing you must trust

each other I want you to repeat that you must trust each other that's good we

have talked a great deal about honesty truth and trust you have done very well

especially you Henry now it is time for you to go out into the world and show

them that Jasper has taught you

[Music] everything thank you okay so let me tell you a little bit about what it is that

we're doing here today you are a redneck whose daughter died under suspicious circumstances in the B and you are Kate

field High's savvy new ivy league educated guidance counselor Mr Finster

this is the dot on the map where you grew up and you've return to give something back to the

community okay I got to just whenever you're

ready when we found Mary L's body there were distinct shovel marks on her neck

please I know that your loss was quite traumatic but I I don't want to hear about Norris I think you ought to let

the children know about Old Norris listen to me Prescott I will not pollute

the children's Minds with the myth of a shovel handed janitor don't tell me what

okay let's take it back to your line Henry really accuse each other with these words don't be afraid to go off

book listen Prescott I will not pollute the children's Minds with the myth of a

shovel handed janitor don't tell me no I will tell you I care about these

children as if they were my own this place this place is a a hot bed of

ignorance I just want the children to rise above it supposed to improvise man

Henry you took my script now maybe you don't understand what I'm saying to you

Prescott mhm um Southern I like children my daughter died okay

that was a very spirited read W yeah callbacks are on Thursday I think you

have a very good chance I don't know about your little friend count of a package still listen to me Henry you're

not going to get anywhere in this business with people dragging on your coattails and you could go really far

you have got natural Talent wow natural Talent

wow this is like being real actor sitting around waiting for the phone to ring shut up Smite will you make a big joke out of everything but you should

have taken the audition a little bit more serious I tried ah you could have tried harder oh excuse me Mr James ear

jones look I don't want to have to carry you through this case what are you talking about it's hard not to get excited I'm sure you define you want the

part and then you have to wait and wait and wait yeah they say waiting is the worst part of the whole business yeah you seem really tense

Henry like I care if we get car backs

or hello yeah this is Henry

really uh-huh all right wait I did oh that's excellent so

I'll see you Thursday then all right thanks I made callbacks it's marvelous

marvelous I am so proud of you

youor CH man I'm sorry man I'm sorry she didn't give you any feedback or nothing

man Jessica thought you were great they're just going in a different direction with the part you know someone

a little younger well yeah that makes sense cuz you know I read a little more mature yeah exactly don't K yourself you

know okay so uh whatever I don't pretend to be other people very well maybe I'm

just a little too honest for this game so Henry my main man congratulations our own little thespian

so get on down that audition and when you see Todd skewer him you got

it in a moment got it look man you're not upset about this whole call back

thing AR you n it's just another slasher flick Henry it's not Lawrence of Arabia no but actually I'm a little more

worried about you you're lot more enamored of this uh World hey I hate to see you get sucked up in all this Henry

look at me you put your g*ng face on you go in there and you kick some a*s all right show this guy how to really make a

slasher movie all right show man yeah yeah let's check this

out in the moment in the moment K all right it's about to work is the

actor prepared I'm good okay just like in the first audition no chitchat it's just

about the work work okay Henry I am

going to be reading you I think Old Norris is still around

these here Parts listen Prescott I will not pollute the children's Minds with this myth of a shovel handed janitor

don't tell me what I can or cannot say they're not your children no that's what you're wrong Prescott that's right they

are your children you a big city man you know more luck in

the house just say the word Henry I got you back got to teach these people how to raise their kids ain't that right huh

yeah so what are you going to do with me huh what's not about you I want to

educate these children not fill their head with violent fairy tale maybe I don't want my kids being educated by some city boy like you huh I don't care

what you want people like me are the only hope of these children people like you you mean black people black people

black people I'll black upside your head I me educated people oh you people have a temper see you don't belong here

you're an outsider no I do belong here I would to raise here just like you and I'm a teacher and I want to teach the

truth in a world full of lies

yeah he's my finer Jessica break out the

contract go Henry our standard contract for

nonpresented Talent you offer me a part come on Henry

what are you waiting for just ice you see this isn't only an agreement for you to be in this film no it's something

much greater than that see Henry I can give you your Celluloid fantasy and I respect actors more real actor like

yourself this wants the opportunity to to practice his

craft old school Indie actors legendary Gods Idol Oh no came over me

see I I I can't just you know just sign

anything just just yet you know um oh um excuse me I'm sorry I don't mean

to interrupt I'm sorry I I should have introduced you sooner Mr mcneel Miss Rea

tussle she's playing the lead Mrs Grady she was in the other room just watching to see who she may have a chance to work

with was time I mean from you know who I am and you know what I did last one5 I didn't mean

to interrupt you but I just had to Comm myself and tell you what you did just

now so alive so human so

real I hope that we can work together together I can't I coming from you no no

no no could you move the cart back please I got to get through here Henry all we

need is a signature you want me to go back this way yes I know Henry no okay I'll go

forward I mean yeah yes do you want me to move the car

forward or back no you can't

what what are you

thinking oh and one one more thing oh

you're going to be a star Henry Henry's going to live forever he's

going to learn how to fly wait wait wait wait wait wait wait chill I'm going to Mo the car back okay yes ready

great what are you thinking of what do you want crack or something look before you say anything all right I know what

I'm doing okay how could you you cut a fan deal to be an actor I can always renounce all right oh when after a

couple of guest spots on spelling entertainment you had a job to do simple job look you think I don't have a plan

huh okay of course I could have whacked charson back then all right but he's as bad as all the old Hollywood Mor loocks

this way I get into his world Deep Cover you know what I mean I'll save hundreds of souls Deep Cover nowhere in my core hand book doesn't say anything about it

look look I'm going to get us Charleston's rodex okay that way we'll find out all the actors he made false hry start over here you made a fan deal

there's no way that you can explain that because you see Henry you're never ever ever supposed to do that never ever

remember what Ray said about trust huh remember what Ray said about trust huh how can I trust

you look I know what I'm doing okay don't worry man forever I got a plan I

got a plan one of our agents is going on the cup we tried to teach our agents to

be deceptive while undercover one must be awful careful Henry you're now going

undercover keep one thing in mind deception deception

deception been a long time okay what's a long time

actually for the last few years I've been uh

celibate oh what a waste well tonight baby you are going to

drink water in the desert yeah

M sunshine you are going to rise to new

heights we'll start you off in commercials get blessed guest spot on

sitcom yo yo yo what's up what's up supporting roll in a Teenage Head excuse

my metaphorical Meandering son it's just my incredibly convoluted way of saying

follow your heart then the lead in a courtroom drama isn't it true that you

are also married to a woman and that you're a bigamist and a

l*sbian and before you know it your feature filmed APO I know what I'm doing I know what

I'm doing know what I'm do listen Henry for and deck are real skeptical about your Deep Cover plan it's about trust

chanler remember it's about trust congratul congratulations congratulations are you currently represent agents and lawyers in town we

just need going to make you you made the right choice Henry

maal can't believe this is happen doing I know what I'm doing I

know what I'm doing Henry no this is his exchange would you like to leave a message um look no no I I want to talk

to Henry in person please on your about the work you look amazing can I take a message no no look I don't want to leave

a message for Henry I need to talk to him now it's urgent could you just just put him on the phone please I'm sorry I

can't you cut a Henry are you there get on the phone

pick up the phone let see and

Mr maximum exposure to F to the Future Henry can't give out that number this is

his agency agency this is his phone number where is he I'm telling you Fame Chang Chang g to his forgot all about us

oh who you know how's it going with Henry my client my my St my partner great better than I imagine anything you

want everything you want so good I'm out control live forever my name is

Harry star what kind of star what kind of

star a superstar no word how long it's been

weeks that's bad I can't believe Henry would go f in I can it's called

Temptation time for you to intervene directly Chandler if you know what I mean [Music]

so have you seen the jows on gwynnis I'm telling you she is not going to be able to get AR rest of time and what is she now 22 23 23 oh that's over oh man our

guest of honor has arrived my man oh we finally closed huh

my man is attached to direct you still know who I am and you still saw what I did last winter 6 and I am very excited

to combine the Twin Tower talents Mr Henry mcneel Mr ran teren

what's up what's up what's up hey well you know it's an honor to meet you Mr Taran Nino you I love smacky jacket oh

thanks now let me tell you something I'm one of those whities you know that glorifies the black man for profit okay

so all you got to do is play it black and I'll make you the next samul love goody or Lawrence Fishburn oh Lawrence

Fishburn you I love Deep Cover yeah I heard that hey you know what the 21st century is going to be all movies all

hip-hop John lcard ra Kor new Doggy Dog Citizen Kane Carol Kane Big Daddy Kane

Stanley tubri Ernest Lu Ice Cube [ __ ] huh it's all about the black man in the

movie you heard oh my God it's Rees te you're the

dope come give it to me in cinema scope hey baby excuse me Mr mcneel can speak to

you for a minute all right your little dream is over Henry all right no no more lies no more excuses I am dragging you

out of this Hollywood hell hole here if it isn't the loser shut up I'm not

talking to you now come on let's get out of here get him out of here here all right all right all right all right all

right nothing worse than hangers on come on man Henry help me out here huh it's about trust remember must trust each

other it's about trust see you wouldn't want to

be put on your water wings cuz it's going to be a long swim to shore SED like you didn't know me oh so Henry left

the building in over his AF I just feel like if I could get him alone away from those jerks I could bring him around oh

face reality Chandler Henry sold you out think about it if Henry tells the other side half of what we know we are in big

trouble he's a dead man plain and simple we already know that well then we'll k*ll him all over again because at this

point Henry mcneel is the single biggest threat to this division he is a turn coat a quizzing a traitor bitter pill to

swallow not that bitter nobody made him go over nobody put a g*n to his head he wanted to be famous he wanted to be a

big star he wanted to be recognized huh it's sick egomaniacal Behavior okay

Decker what do we do bring in the disinfectant the disinfectant there's a special division here kind of a core

within the core Black Operations Black Ops they come in they spread around a little disinfectant and then they tidy

up a little bit we've had a disinfectant on the roster here at all times wait a minute what does a disinfectant

[Applause] do remove stains Walker

this this is the moment if make something true everything else will work itself out

settle and action oh my God a Jonathan

my favorite student did oh my fault didn't

believe you have dug your own grave counselor no no Gus I need you to take

that line again and you have to k*ll him with your words you hear me and Gus you sell that a action you throw your hand

back convince me you are here to k*ll settle and action you have dug your own

grave counselor cut cut

cut so sorry about the snap one that last setup hey I hear lunch today is really good if that's any constellation

yeah you know what they say eat the free food and don't look in the camera sorry BL that take huh well like

I was tell a young fell eat the freeo and don't look in the

[Music]

[Applause] [Music]

camera wow is this a makeup trailer yeah

[Music]

[Applause] hey you might get a shave nice to get a

good little shave after lunch it's nice you deserve it lots of big scenes today huh lots of

big scenes today oh yeah yeah yeah yeah we're doing the cl*max of the movie oh

that's where all those things get so BL I hate that oh it's so good to be the

dominant species uh sir I wanted to well thank

you for the opportunity to work I have felt so fulfilled as a as a person as a human being get to it sir I just have to

tell you sir I'm feeling very suspicious of of Henry this wouldn't perhaps have anything to do with the fact that you're

no longer our newest addition to the cast now what it Gus that Henry's had all the attention in these last few

weeks no it has to do with the fact that I found this in his trailer some weird looking ancient knife why do you suppose

you would have something like

this there is only one reason why anyone would have a knife like this to k*ll

someone like me soaked in the blood of Innocence this is the weapon of choice

voice of the core this is the only way to k*ll morocks we wouldn't want that now Gus would

we you're not the makeup Lady you

[ __ ] what's going on out there Henry had this telling you sir I

found it in his personal belongings do you know what that means

guys huh it means he's working for the other side this is like a wooden

steak for a vampire I never trusted that guy anyway H his work it was far too

honest what should we do now we're sh**ting his last scene after

lunch I suggest we play it cend a ver hey get that out of here

a oh

Henry you are up my man all right hey where that new makeup assister

Lady go I have no idea okay people we are back from lunch

once we get these dead bodies into place folks we can roll then after Henry's Fallen G give me one beat and then we'll

finish him now Henry it's very important that you hit your mark because I've got three

cameras going so I really want to get it on the first tank great that'll make it more honest honesty exactly Scott yes

sir why don't we Clear the Stage I think a scene with this intensity needs a little intimacy don't you yeah yeah

definitely okay why don't we try doing this in one take H shall we poor

[ __ ] are my little children ready settle and action oh man oh my God

Jonathan oh

no you've dug your own grave counselor

yes let's take this from the top I hate extras

this one's for messing with Henry get him again and this one is for making all those bad

movies save my life [Music] CH yep look man I know you think I lost

my head and I was tripping but I knew what I was doing no you [Music]

didn't we still down you going to rounce your deal give up your little acting

career your startup hell yeah Fame

sucks every little thing is going to be all right

[Music]

than got you ow that cor [ __ ] tied me

up Jessica I renounced my FY do what I renounced my FY

do you could have been a star I'm an agent for the

call it's about to work man thank you Chandler Gus renounced

this deal but he still wanted to act so we put him in Omaha doing regional theater it's like an addiction I tell

you when you can really inhabit the life of another person okay okay so it's a vocation Jasper but there's something

unnan about it good morning here he is hey look I got the

pcka Rolla d*ck see I told you I knew what I was doing all along had a very Advanced plan of action oh yeah

absolutely Mr Pier I mean mcneel okay all right maybe I did get sucked into

the whole hwood thing you know but sometimes it's hard to avoid evil you know okay Henry so you got a lot of

natural talent but when Jasper here reawakened it you went out of your ever loving mind luckily for us Chandler

didn't have any talent to be reawakened that's know what I hear Chandler I hear you a very good as dead man in the movie

well it's a part I've been rehearsing for a very long time

[Music] n

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