04x18 - Tales of Captain Buzzard

[bunniefuu]

[ theme music playing ]

♪ Just off the shores
of Never Land ♪

♪ A hideaway at sea ♪

♪ Yo h*! Yo h*! ♪

♪ Let's Go! Let's Go! ♪

♪ A pirate band
outwits the plans ♪

♪ Of Captain Hook and Smee ♪

♪ Yo h*! Yo h*! ♪

♪ Let's Go! Let's Go! ♪

♪ The merry crew
of Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Through & Through
they're jolly buccaneers ♪

♪ Captain Jake ♪

♪ And the Neverland Pirates ♪

♪ Come Along
we need some volunteers ♪

♪ Izzy, Ahoy! ♪

♪ Cubby, Ahoy! ♪

♪ Skully, Ahoy! ♪

♪ Matey, Ahoy! ♪

♪ Captain Jake
and the Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Climb aboard, Me Hearties
and be a pirate too ♪

♪ Captain Jake
and the Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ We'll set
the course together ♪

♪ Come on and join the crew ♪

♪ Come on, Mateys ♪

♪ Yo h* lets go! ♪

Yaar!

JAKE:
Tales of Captain Buzzard!

[ dragon roars ]

[ growling ]

Blast you,
Captain Buzzard Bones!

If it weren't for you,
we wouldn't be here!

This is all your fault!

DRAGON: [ hiss, roar ]
[ huffs and screams ]

You can't put all the blame
on Grandpa Bones, Captain!

Yeah! Gramps didn't know

there'd be a big ol' dragon
waitin' for us.

And you were the one
who insisted we come here!

Because that babbling fool
told us a tall tale!

He said there was
a legendary treasure
in this cavern!

What can I say?

There used to be
a treasure. Oh--

but someone must've
found it first.

Still, [ chuckles ]

it was
a pretty good story,
eh?

[ grunts ]

Thanks to you,

we'll never get out alive!

It's hopeless!

Hopeless? Ha! Not hardly!

Why, it reminds me of a tale

about some buccaneers
who could get out
of any scrape...

[c.speakerTop][ whistling ]

[c.speakerTop]GRANDPA BONES: In a fancy,
faraway land,

lived
the greatest swashbucklers

who ever swashed a buckle.

They were...

Jacos, Master of the Blade!

The greatest swordsman
in the land!
Ha, ha!

GRANDPA BONES:
There was Isadore
the Stealthy.

She was as nimble as a cat!

And there was Cubos
the Speedy!

Faster than a schooner
in a hurricane,
I tell ya! Ha, ha!

Together,
they were known as...

The Three Buccaneers!

Jacos!
Cubos!
And Isadore!

♪ Side by side
we'll see that ♪

♪ Justice is restored! ♪

♪ Three friends are we ♪

♪ Defending those in need! ♪

♪ Evil best beware ♪

♪ We'll fight you
fair and square! ♪

♪ Stand aside for
the Three Buccaneers! Huzzah! ♪

GRANDPA BONES: Oh, they were
some kind of heroes,
all righty. Ha-ha!

Why, with them around,

it just didn't pay to be evil.

Oh! And speakin' of evil...

the village was ruled
by Count DuHook!

A nasty snook who stole from
the rich 'n the poor

and kept it all for hisself!

Bah!

No matter how many
schemes I try,

those blasted Three Buccaneers
always stop me!

Will no one rid me
of those meddlesome
do-gooders?

What can ya do,
Yer Grace?

Everybody knows
the Three Buccaneers
are unbeatable.

[ knock on door ]
Ah!

Uh, excuse me,
Your Grace. But, ah,

look who I caught
trying to break in.

Ooh la la!
The Three Buccaneers!

[ gasps ] Whaaa?

Your Sergeant is quite
a swordsman,

we had no choice
but to surrender!

He's a demon with a blade!

[ chuckles ] I am?

Oh, well,
I have been practicing!

I cannot believe it!

But I am loving it!

And I know just what
to do with them!

To the dungeons!

Scoundrels!

You'll stay locked up
until I can arrange

for a fair and honest trial.

In about 200 years!

Until then,

adieu and good riddance!

CUBBY: [ sniffs and coughs ]

Pee-yew!

This place stinks
almost as much
as DuHook!

[ clatter ]
Shh!

We are not alone.

Do my eyes deceive me?

[ gasps ]

It can't be!

No one could ever imprison
the Three Buccaneers!

No one has,
mon ami--

we allowed ourselves
to be caught!

But why?

Somewhere inside
this dungeon

the Count keeps a prisoner
who is forced to wear...
an iron mask.

We've got to find out
who he is

and why his face
must be kept secret!

For any enemy of the Count
is a friend of...

the Three Buccaneers!

I've seen this
Iron Masked Man!

I could take you to him,

if only we could
get out of here!

Not a problem! Cubos,
the door, please.

Oui, oui, Jacos!

Uuuhhh....!

Well done, mon ami!

Isadore! Your turn!

Get the keys, please!

Yes!

The coast, it is clear.

Your friend,

does she not need help?

Not Isadore!

Voila!
Sorry it took me so long,

but those guards never knew
I was even there.

Pour vous. For you!

Ha! The Prisoner
in the Iron Mask

is as good as free!

Follow me!
I will show you the way.

[ snoring ]

[ snoring continues ]

That is he,

the Prisoner
in the Iron Mask!

[ gasping ]

Do not be alarmed!

We come as friends.

Follow us to freedom.

Croissants!

We must move quickly!

[ snoring ]

[ clank ]
Huh?

Oh-oh, dear. Help!

How did you all get out?

I'll take care
of these guards!

Get the prisoner to safety!

I will join you shortly.

Oui, oui, Jacos!

En garde!

En garde!

Yah yah! Yah yah!

[ all shouting ]

Yah!
Whoa!

Ah-hah-hah!
[ fabric tears ]

[ all exclaim ]
Oh, my!

So long, boys.

Whaaa---!

Quickly! Which way?

You got me!
All the doors look alike!

There is no time!
Any door will do!

Ah-ha!
Whoa!

Ha! I'll take him,
s'il vous plaît!

[ Count DuHook laughing ]

It's locked.

Isadore! The key!

Oui, oui,
Jacos!

Got it!

Ah! Fondue!
Where'd they go?

This place is full
of secret passageways!

DuHook must have used one.

Maybe we can find it!

Leave that
to moi!

Hmm.

This looks interesting.

Whoa!
Look!

Last one in is
a rotten soufflé!

Mes amis!
Look up ahead!

[ Count DuHook laughing ]

Keep moving!

It is time for you to visit

my favorite part
of the dungeon...

the Crocodile Pit!

[ evil laugh ]

Au revoir!
Ta-ta! Bye-bye!

Halt, you scoundrel!

We have come to rescue
Monsieur Prisoner!

Too late, Buccaneers!

No!
[ growls ]

Jacos! Isadore!
A little help!

En garde , Du-Snook!

While I fight, you rescue!

Ah!

You cannot stop me!

BOTH: [ grunting ]

Isadore, I'll be right back!

I found a chain.

We can use it
to rescue the Prisoner!

Cubos,
hang on to it tightly!

Hold still, if you will.

I must tie the chain
around your waist!

Cubos! Scullay! Pull!

[ heaving and grunting ]

Huh? Ohh...

Weigh-hey,
s'il vous plait.

We are safe.
But what about Jacos?

[ Count DuHook grunting ]

DuHOOK: And try
one of these!

Yield, DuHook!

Never!
Yah!

On second thought,

I surrender!

Aha! Looks like DuHook

has something you need,
mon ami!

Now we can finally
find out who you are!

What?
No way!

Huh?
Croutons!

At last, I am free!

Whoa!

I'm seein' double!

No!

Your eyes do not deceive you!

This scoundrel is my brother!

I am the rightful
Count DuHook!

No, you're not!

Yes, I am!
No, you're not!

Yes! I am!

Why did he put you
in the dungeon?

Being the eldest,

I am the real Count!

My brother imprisoned me,

made me hide my face,

then took my place
for his own greedy ends!

Sergeant!

Men-at-Arms!

[ gasping ]

Throw this imposter
into the dungeon!

[ stammering ]

Can't you see?

That one is the real Count,

and that one
is the imposter!

Don't listen to them!

It's all a pack of lies!

But everyone knows that
the Three Buccaneers
never lie.

OK, lads,

toss this phony
into le clink!

You haven't seen
the last of me, brother!

Just look in the mirror!
Good riddance.

And from now on,
I shall rule the village

with justice and kindness!

And of course
it's all thanks to...

The Three Buccaneers!

GRANDPA BONES: And so,
the real Count DuHook

restored peace to his village.
[ laughs ]

He found a way to make sure

his evil twin would
never cause trouble again...

[ roaring, chomping ]
[ DuHook screaming ]

Save me!

[ laughs ]

Best story ever, Gramps!

Bravo! Now that's how
you spin a yarn, I say.

A real corker!

Have you all lost your minds?

Certain destruction
by a fire-breathing dragon
awaits us...

and you're gushing
over nursery tales!

[ dragon roars ]
[ gasping ]

Ah! We're doomed,
I say!

Doomed!

[ laughs ] Thanks
for sharing, Hook.

But when things look dark

and the chips are down,
it's no time to lose heart!

And that reminds me
of another story about a hero

who refused to give up...

GRANDPA BONES: A powerful
long time ago,

back when folks
lived in kingdoms,

there was this
very special castle.

It was the meetin' place
of the greatest heroes
of olden days...

The Knights
of the Round Tower!

There was noble Sir Jaxon.

Always at his side was
his super-strong sword

Defend-alot!

And loyal Sir Cubos,

with his mighty steed,
Bounder!

And then there was
the valiant Lady Isolde.

She carried
The Shield of Victory,

which magically
protected her from harm.

And feisty Sir Skullahad.

Why he could fly faster
than a speeding arrow!

[ laughing ]
Oh, yeah,

and then there was
Sir Hookamore.

If ya ask me,
he was a sneaky snookamore,

and he surely was no
bright knight.

Fie on this blasted helmet!

[ grunts ]
Ahem!

GRANDPA BONES:
Now all these heroes
gathered together

whenever they were summoned
by the court wizard,

the remarkable Merlini!

Hail and well met,
Knights of the Round Tower!

Be seated!

Thou hast been
called together on this day

to bear witness
to a wondrous sight!

Behold!

The legendary Golden Goblet!

Only a knight
who is courageous,

clever and honorable

can find and keep
this extraordinary treasure!

♪ The Legendary Golden ♪

♪ Legendary Golden ♪

♪ Legendary Gold-- ♪

Let me get this straight.

We are looking
for someone who is courageous,

clever and honorable.

Aye!

And the one who succeeds

will be known as
the greatest knight

of all time!

Well, then obviously I,
Sir Hookamore,

will be the knight that gains
the Goblet of Gold.

No! I shall
bring home the Goblet!

No, I shall.

No, I.
I.

It is well
thou hast all committed

to embark upon
the greatest of quests!

This map--

ALL: Ooh! Wow!

Ha, ha! Thank you.

--will show you the way.

But be forewarned,

your quests will
be fraught with perils

most dangerous!

most dangerous!

GRANDPA BONES: So, off
they all went to find
the Golden Goblet.

Hurry, hurry!
Step right up, mates!

Who will be the first to risk
life and limb crossing
the Bridge of Swords?

And who art thou,
noisesome knave?

I'm the Troll of this bridge.

It's my job to keep it workin'
when knights come a-questin'.

When someone tries
to cross the bridge,

I do this!

Gadzooks!

T'would be almost impossible
to cross under
such an onslaught.

Well then, that's
the whole point of questin',
isn't it?

Now, don't be shy.
Who wants to give it a go?

I shall!

Ah, ladies first! Good on ya!

Lots o' luck--
you're gonna need it!

I need no luck,

for I carry my magic shield
to protect me!

[ grunting ]

I shall not yield,

thanks to my wondrous shield!

Made it!

Hurry up, mates! I can't keep
cranking forever! Who's next?

I'll go!

Forward, Bounder!

Onward to triumph!

Hey! Stop it! Ow!
[ crashing ]

Ohh! No!

Camelot Coconuts!

Poor Bounder!

Quest in peace.

Alas and alack!

Loyal Cubos has fallen!

I shall try all the harder
in his honor!

Onward to victory!

Aah! Quest ya laterrrrrr...

My poor comrades!

Come, Defend-alot!

Let us avenge their defeat!

Yah! No earthly steel
can best this super-sword!

Hyah! Hyah!

Weigh-hey,
courageous swordplay!

Eee...

You're last
but certainly least,

Sir Tall,
Dark and Devious!

Hold thy tongue, lackey.

[ gasps ] Devious!

Yes, devious indeed.

[ laughs ]

Hey! What's with
the Dark Ages?

[ laughing ]
[snaps fingers ]

Ah! Hey, no fair,
ye sneaky snook!

Tsk-tsk! Thy tactics were
less than noble,
Sir Hookamore.

Well, thou quest in thy way,

and I shall quest in mine!

Could this
be our next challenge?

Three boats for three knights.

Methinks we are each
to take one.

Oh, blast!

This whole realm
is simply lousy
with enchantment!

Who transgresses
on the damp domain
of the Lady of the Lake?

Three knights on a quest!

We bid thee let us pass,
fair lady.

And we are in a hurry,

so paddle aside,
M'lady Prune-fingers!

Oh! I like not this
one's attitude, nor his face!

For such insolence
you will all
face my watery wrath!

[ wicked laugh ]

[ thunder crashing ]

Come on in, the water's fine!

[ wicked laugh ]

Whoa-whoa-whoa!

Izzy!

Whoa!

Whoa!

[ screaming ]

Well, I guess my quest
is washed up.

I cannot endure soggy shorts!

Save me!

Sir Hookamore!

[ gasps ]

A tidal wave!

Mayhaps I can use it
to take me
where I wanna go.

Yeah!

Whoa!

Well done, clever knight!

Thou hast earned thy passage.

I wish thee success
on thy quest.

Now you must excuse me--

it's time for my bath!
[ giggles ]

My heart is heavy

for henceforth I quest alone.

[ gasps ]
Not quite.

Don't look
so surprised.

One might say I hooked a ride!

At last! We have reached
the Grotto
of the Golden Goblet!

At last! We have reached
the Grotto
of the Golden Goblet!

Last one there
is a rotten knight!

That's the golden goody,
all right!

'Tis an honor just
to behold the Golden Goblet!

Behold all you want,
Sir Goody-Two-Gauntlets.

But it shall be mine!

Must thou be both noble
and fleet of feet?

Ha ha!

Ah! Whoa!
[ gasps and grunts ]

[ laughs ]

[ grunts ]

[ screams, crashes ]

Ooh! That smarts.

Got thou!

Oh, isn't this all
just unicorns
and love ballads!

Now Sir Jaxon will be known
as the greatest knight!

Nay. I cannot keep
this great treasure,

for I did not
finish the quest.

The Goblet came unto me
by less than honorable means.

I must return it.

Don't be
an ironclad nincompoop!

If thou doesn't want it,
give it to me!

I put thee back,
Golden Goblet,

to await a knight
who is truly...
[ grunts ]...worthy.

Well done, Sir Jaxon!

You are courageous,
clever, and you proved
yourself honorable.

So... Nothing
up my sleeve...
[ clears throat ]

Abra-cadabra!

Whoa!
The Golden Goblet is yours,

for truly thou art
the greatest knight
of all time!

I shall strive
to be worthy of this honor
all my days!

Hail Sir Jaxon!

What about me?

Don't I get something
for coming in a close second?

Indeed, Sir Hookamore.
Your efforts have earned you
another title.

[ clears throat ] Thou shall
henceforth be called...

Court Jester!

Ha, ha! Very funny!

[ rattles ]

And so you see,
no matter what the difficulty,

a real hero has
what it takes to prevail!

[ dragon roars ]
[ all screaming ]

Oy! If only we had
a hero like that now!

Ahoy, mates!

ALL: Captain Jake!

Looks like you're in a fix!

[ dragon roars ]

Hey, big fella!
Stop bothering our mateys!

Whoa there!

[ grunting and straining ]

[ burps ]

Izzy! Give this guy a lift!

Pixie Dust, away!

[ snorting ]

See? Hee-hee!

What'd I tell ya?
All it takes is
a genuine hero!

Good work,
sea pups! Ha!

How'd you know we wuz here?

We didn't.

But Grandpa Bones once told us
a story about this place

and we thought
we'd check it out!

He said there was a treasure,

but he didn't say anything
about a fire-breathing dragon.

No, he did not.

[ thuds and groans ]

Treasure or no treasure,

things are always exciting
when you're around,
Captain Buzzard Bones!

Yep, it's been
quite a day, all righty.

Y'know, someday this all
will make a great story!

[c.speakerTop][ theme music playing ]