04x07 - Monkey Tiki Trouble/Jake's Cold-Hearted Matey

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just off the shores
of Never Land ♪

♪ A hideaway at sea
Yo h*, yo h* ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go! ♪

♪ A pirate band
outwits the plans ♪

♪ Of Captain Hook
and Smee ♪

♪ Yo h*, yo h*,
let's go, let's go! ♪

♪ The merry crew of
Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Through and through,
they're jolly buccaneers ♪

♪ Captain Jake
and the Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Come along,
we need some volunteers ♪

Izzy!
Ahoy!

Cubby!
Ahoy!

Skully!
Ahoy!

Matey!
Ahoy!

♪ Yo-ooooo! ♪

♪ Captain Jake
and the Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Climb aboard, me hearties,
and be a pirate true ♪

♪ Captain Jake
and the Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ We'll set
the course together ♪

♪ Come on
and join the crew ♪

- Come on, mateys.
- Yo h*, let's go!

Yarr!

[ all chattering
and laughing ]

Look alive. Cubby gets
control of the coconut.

- No way!
- Yeah!

Out of bounds.
I'll get it.

Huh?

Whoa!

Jake, Izzy.
Check this out.

Some kind of raft.

I wonder if there's
a pirate castaway
who needs help.

Crackers. If there is,
he's probably not hungry.

Look at
all the banana peels.

[ gasps ]
Uh-oh.

Guys, look.

This raft belongs
to King Zongo.

Oh, no!

Not that crazy
monkey pirate king.

He and his hairy primateys
are nothing but trouble.

There's no telling
what sort of mischief
Zongo is up to.

Come on, crew.
Let's go find him.

Yo h*, let's go!

Yo h*, let's go!

♪ All aboard, on our way
with Captain Jake ♪

Lead the way!

♪ Come on, crew,
I'm calling you ♪

♪ We're with you
all the way ♪

♪ Band together,
pirates and mates ♪

♪ And anchors aweigh ♪

♪ We'll set sail
with Captain Jake today ♪

Yo h*,
Captain Jake!

Move it, men.
Faster.

Aye, aye,
Cap'n sir.

Soon I'll have
that crazy tiki.

Ha ha ha ha!

Yo, King Z.,
why are we swinging

when we can be on
the beach eating bananas?

Bing Bong, do you want
to continue to sail

on that leaky raft?

Of course not.
Neither do I.

Up ahead, somewhere lies
the lost city of Monkey Picchu,

and a crazy mysterious
monkey tiki that's magical.

I'm hoping it will
get me a ship.

Once I have a big ship,

I can fill it with
golden treasure! Ha ha!

So why are we following
that Captain Fancy Pants?

[ laughs ]

Because that ninny-nose
Hook has a map to the tiki,

and he's going
to find it for me.

And he doesn't
even know it yet.

Come along, men.

Thanks to me recently
plundered map,

ha ha, I found the lost
tiki of Monkey Picchu!

Soon, its greatest
treasure shall be mine!

[ giggles ]

Glory be.

Behold!

The magical monkey tiki!

Oh, oh, what's it do?

I... I, uh...
I don't know exactly.

But I'm hoping
whatever it does,

its magic will lead me
to more treasure.

Busted buckles.

I think you got
a defective tiki.

The heads be looking off
in different directions.

I do not care if
these heads line up.

All I care for
is treasure!

Now back to
the Jolly Roger.

[ monkeys chattering ]

King Zongo? What is
the meaning of this?

Crazy work, Captain.

Thanks for finding
the tiki.

Now hand it over.

What? Never!

[ coughs ]
Monkeys attack!

Unhand me tiki.

I found it
fair and square.

What in blazes
am I doing over there

when I am over here and...
[ shrieks ]

Covered in hair?

That blasted tiki must have
made us switch brains.

Fancy bananas.

So if I'm you,
and you're me,

that means I finally
get my ship.

Your ship.
Ook, ook.

No, you do not.

Come on, tiki magic.

Change me back.

- Give me!
- Blast!

[ whistles ]

Okay, crew,
let's roll.

To the Jolly Roger.

Where are you
big apes going?

Why, we're with
you, Cap'n.

Oh. [ laughs ]
Oh, yeah.

Wait. That monkey
is an impostor.

I mean, I'm a monkey
and he's... oh!

Blasted tail.

Men... I mean, monkeys.

We must go after...
uh, Captain Hook. Ooo, ooo.

[ all hooting ]

Crew, any sign of
monkey trouble?

Nope, but speaking
of trouble,

there goes
old fish buckets.

[ hooting ]

Ahoy, sea pups.

Hey, you, get me
a pineapple and
make it crazy fast.

I'm hungry.

Whoa. It looks like Hook's
finally gone bananas.

Let's check it out.

That be the last
of it, Cap'n.

At last, I have
all the golden treasure

I could ever want.

Say, boys,
do you notice

anything different
about the captain lately?

Not really, but he is
more playful than usual.

Ook, ook!

Re... freshing,
isn't it?

[ yelling ]

Hey!

Yo h*,
Captain Hook.

Is everything
all right?

What? How dare you stop
my jolly fun-making?

Ook, ook.

Crackers.
Hook sounds weird.

Oh, Captain Jake,
something's not right
with the cap'n.

Ook, ook.

Shiver me timbers.

Captain Hook is acting
just like King Zongo.

[ monkey noises ]

Hey, Zongo,
what are you up to?

Me? I'm not Zongo.

That fur-face
banana-brain is.

[ blows raspberry ]

He took me tiki,
me body,

and now,
he's got me ship.

[ gasps ]
I know that tiki.

I've read all about it.

It has powerful magic.

I bet it caused Hook
and King Zongo

to switch brains.

So that means Captain Hook
is inside King Zongo's body,

and King Zongo is inside
Hook's body.

Ook, ook. Ha ha!
Got it.

Hey, no take-backs.

Thunderation!

The cap'n looks like
the cap'n,

but he sounds like
a monkey.

Hey, I think those pirates
are talkin' about King Zongo.

Come on, crew.
Let's go aboard.

ALL: Aye, aye,
Captain Jake.

Blasted barnacles.
Me monkey foot.

[ laughs ]
Oh, the tiki's mine.

Come on, boys.
The ship is ours!

Whoa! King Z.
It is you.

Awesome!

Give me that tiki.

Neener neener no!

[ blows raspberry ]

Zongo, Hook.

The only way to undo
the brain switch

is for you two
to hold onto the tiki

and turn the monkey heads

until they face
the opposite direction.

Well, that's not
going to happen.

Izzy, this is
an emergency.

Then it's
pixie dust away!

Crazy flying trick.

But you can't have
my tiki.

Bing Bong, catch.

- Coconuts!
- Yo h*, oh, no.

You'll never get
my tiki.

- Thanks, Captain Monkey.
- You're welcome.

Hey!

Here you go,
Captain Hook.

Give that back.

Oh, banana burps.

I'm a monkey again.
Crazy!

I'll take that.

Now I'm ordering
all monkey apes

off me ship
immediately!

Not a chance,
blubber pants.

- Fire in the hole!
- Oh, snap.

Crazy!

Oh, thank you,
sea pups.

I don't know what we would've
done without your help.

Now get off me ship,

and get rid of
that blasted tiki.

[ giggling ]

Okay, Captain Hook,
by the way,

you're welcome.

Yo h*, mateys.

For helping Captain Hook
turn back to himself,

we got 12 gold
doubloons.

Let's put 'em in
our team treasure chest.

[ whistles ]

- Whoo-hoo!
- Yeah!

Bah! I never gets
me treasure.

Well, at least we still
have all the golden treasure

we found for you.
I mean, Captain Zongo.

Treasure?

Golden, you say?

Avast! Finally.

It's all mine.
What?

Bananas?!

I hate bananas!!

Yes!

A spell for sub-zero
polarization might work.

Or this one might be
much more chilling.

Uncle Shiverjack,
look what I can do.

Chillyzack, I thought
I told you

never to interrupt me.

You did,
a bunch of times.

But I've been practicing
magic spells.

Watch me wrap up
that old bird
in a block of ice.

Freeze snap.

Aw, frostbite.

Snowblast!

Sorry. I just want you
to be proud of me.

I'm still trying
to learn how to be
a great wizard like you.

Well, obviously,
you need more practice.

Now get back to it.

Maybe one of your books
can give me a few pointers
on casting magic and...

Don't bother me!

I need to concentrate.

I've been up all night
looking for a spell

that will finally crush
Captain Jake and his crew.

The pirates you told me about
who keep defeating you?

Hey, I bet together,
we could stop Jake cold.

Let me help.

Oh, you've helped enough
for one day.

Snowmug, show
my nephew out,

and see that
he doesn't come back.

But Uncle, all I want
to do is help you. Please.

Ow.

I bet I could take on
Jake and those pirates
all by myself.

Hey, I bet
if I captured Jake,

then you'd be
really proud of me.

Look out, Never Land.

There's a cold wave
coming,

and his name is...
Chillyzack.

It's the pirates.

Here's my chance
to put 'em on ice.

Uncle Shiverjack
sure will be proud.

Steady. Just like
I practiced.

[ grunting ]
Freeze snap.

Aw, frostbite!

Hey, go away.

Yo h*, big snow.

Help!

Sounds like
someone's in trouble.

Cubby, grab a leg.

[ both grunting ]

Cold crackers.
Are you all right?

Ah! Stay back.

Don't hurt me.

You're... you're...

Pirates?
It's okay.

We're the good kind
of pirates.

We always help folks
in trouble, like you.

I'm Captain Jake,
and this is my crew,

Izzy, Cubby and Skully.

My name is Chill...

I mean, Zack.

Just plain Zack.

Well, Just Plain Zack,

what are you doing here
all by yourself?

I, uh...

wanted to play
in the snow.

You see, I'm the son
of a fisherman,

and I've never
seen snow before.

You know, you look like
someone we know.

Only smaller.

Uh, maybe you've
seen my dad.

He fishes all over
the Never Sea.

Sounds fishy to me.

Skully, that's no way
to treat a new matey.

Say, Zack, wanna ride in
our new wind sail toboggan?

We'll show you around
Ch-ch-chilly Canyon.

Really? I didn't know
pirates were so friendly.

Yea hey, we're always
on the lookout for new mateys.

Nice stick.
What's it for?

I'm gonna need this
to freeze...

Uh, I mean, it's my,
uh... walking stick.

I use it when I... walk.

All hands on
deck, mateys.

Yo h*, let's go
and show Zack
the snow!

♪ It's a winter
Never Land ♪

♪ Never Land
got a wonderland ♪

♪ Of wintertime fun ♪

♪ Skimmin', slidin',
downhill racin' ♪

♪ Snow's a-fallin',
time's a-wastin' ♪

♪ Come on, mateys,
now the day has just begun ♪

♪ Snow day party,
callin' all me hearties ♪

♪ Snow day,
it's so cool ♪

♪ Hangin' out with
me pirate crew ♪

♪ Mateys old and new
in a winter Never Land ♪

♪ Snow day,
let's go play ♪

♪ Buccaneer sailors
on a sleigh ♪

[ all exclaiming ]

♪ In a winter
Never Land ♪

♪ In a winter Never Land ♪

Coconut snowballs!

Thanks for the guided
tour, Captain Jake.

You're welcome, Zack.

Hey, wanna try out
the toboggan?

Sure.

Here comes the wind.

Show us what
you can do, Zacky boy.

ZACK: Hold on,
everybody!

Sorry.

ALL: Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

Watch out for
that branch.

Crackers!
Hard to starboard!

Or port!
Or anywhere!

Whoa!

I think we're
gonna crash!

JAKE:
Abandon toboggan.

Look out!

- Are you guys okay?
- Everyone's fine,

but it looks like
we're trapped.

But I didn't mean to...

Oh, you've done well,
Chillyzack.

You caught 'em
all by yourself.

Why, you're a chip off
the old ice block.

Uncle Shiverjack?

ALL: Uncle?!

Zack is
Shiverjack's
nephew?

That kid's no matey.

He's a cold-hearted
double-crosser,

just like his uncle.

To think you came
all the way here

to capture Captain Jake
for me.

[ laughs ] It almost bring
a frozen tear to me eye.

I...

I don't know
what to say, uncle.

I think I was wrong
about these pirates.

Wrong? Ye be as right
as icy rain.

I couldn't be
prouder of you.

Proud? Of me?

I...

I don't feel good about
what I've done at all.

Ah, don't be so modest,
dear nephew.

You've trapped Jake
and his annoying crew,

and now, I can finally
get me revenge.

I hate to break up
their little family reunion,

but mighty captain's sword,
turn up the heat.

All right, Zack,
or Chilly,

or whatever
your name is,

But Jake, I...

Nephew, pay no heed to
the pirate's threats.

I finally found
the spell

I've been
lookin' for
all night.

Observe a master wizard
at work.

Snowa constrictor,
arise!

Frozen coconuts.

IZZY: It's some kind
of snow snake.

- Look out.
- No way!

Coconuts!

We're not sunk
yet, mates.

So let's turn up
the heat.

Crackers.
It's not melting.

Pretty good spell, eh?

Stylish, sinister,

and definitely chilly.

- Yo!
- Oh, no!

Not good.

Watch
the feathers!

Stop it, uncle.
Let them go.

They're my...
my mateys.

Mateys?! Has your brain
gone cold?

These pirates are evil
and must be destroyed.

That's what I thought
when I came here,

but now I know better.

Let 'em go or...

Or I'll freeze you.

[ laughter ]

Sorry, boy, but it's clear
you haven't got what it takes

to be an ice wizard,

or to cast
any magic spells.

Oh, yeah?

And freeze snap.

No!!

[ laughs ]
My freeze snap,

it finally worked.

Look what you've done.

Just when I had
those pirates at my mercy.

How could you be
so disloyal?

I wanted you to
be proud of me,

so I came here to catch
Jake and his crew.

But then I found out
they're really warm
and friendly.

Everything you're not.

Ha! You can say that again.
Snowmugs.

Seize my nephew.

No. Stay back.

We can handle
the big g*ons, Zack.

I'll melt 'em,
you freeze 'em.

Freeze snap.

Get up. Get up,
you bumbling snow geese.

Yo h*, way to snow.

Thanks, Zack.

You saved us from
that snake.

And that other snake.

Your uncle!

I'm sorry
he attacked you.

You'll be sorry for the day
you found your new mateys.

Now get over here
and unfreeze me.

Izzy, if that old ice wizard
keeps hollering like that,

he might cause
an avalanche.

Would you call that
an emergency?

Close enough.

[ giggles ]
Pixie dust away!

It's an outrage.

One day, you will all
feel my cold wrath.

Especially you, Jake.

And the same goes
for your bird,

whatever his name is.

Frostbite.

I've never seen
Uncle Shiverjack so angry.

I think I better
hang out here
until he cools down.

Good idea.

In the meantime,
I'll introduce you

to our penguin pals.

You guys have
a lot in common.

Yeah. You love
the cold.

Mateys, for helping
our new matey Chillyzack,

we got nine
gold doubloons.

Let's put 'em in
our team treasure chest.

[ whistles ]

- Whoo-hoo!
- Yeah.

Poor misguided
Chillyzack.

Somehow, his cold heart
isn't as frozen as mine.

This is all the fault
of that warm-hearted
Captain Jake.

But once I thaw out,

oh h* h*, I will make sure
he feels the cold sting of...

Huh?

Oh, is there no end
to my misfortune today?

What?

Snowmugs,
to Frozen Garden.