03x26 - Captain Scrooge

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just off the shores
of Never Land ♪

♪ A hideaway at sea ♪

- Yo-h*!
- Yo-h*!

- Let's go!
- Let's go!

♪ A pirate band
outwits the plans ♪

♪ Of Captain Hook and Smee ♪

- Yo-h*!
- Yo-h*!

- Let's go!
- Let's go!

♪ The merry crew
of Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Through and through ♪

♪ They're jolly buccaneers ♪

♪ Join with Jake
and the Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Come along
We need some volunteers ♪

- Izzy!
- Ahoy!

- Cubby!
- Ahoy!

- Skully!
- Ahoy!

- Maties!
- Ahoy!

Yooo, yo-h*!

♪ Jake and the
Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Climb aboard, me hearties
and be a pirate true ♪

Let's go!

♪ With Jake
and the Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ We'll set the course
together, come on ♪

♪ And join the crew ♪♪

Yo-h*, let's go!

Ha-har!

To start today's adventure,

everybody say
the Pirate Password:

Yo-h* h*!

[all] Yo-h* h*!

[Jake] Captain Scrooge.

Boy, Cubby, it took you forever
to find that treasure of yours.

[chuckles] It sure did.
I thought it was lost for good.

I can't wait to open it.

Whoa! Look alive, Skully.
This is my treasure.

[squawks] Greedy crackers!

Hold steady, Cubby.
We always share our treasure.

I know, Jake, but I worked
so hard to find this.

I sort of don't feel
like sharing.

Yay-hey! Don't be like
Captain Scrooge!

Who's Captain Scrooge?

You've never heard the story
of Captain Scrooge?

It's a great one,
and I'd be happy to tell it.

Come on, maties.

Come and hear the tale
of Captain Scrooge,

the richest and greediest
pirate ever!

[giggles] Cool!

OK, Bones, ready to grab
that treasure?

Wait! Not yet.

That puny pirate's tale is
about the richest pirate ever.

If we listen in,

it may lead us to even bigger
treasure I can pinch.

Maties, mark well the tale
of old Captain Scrooge.

Once upon a pirate time,
there lived a greedy captain

who sailed the Never Seas.

Captain Scrooge was his name.

He was a grumpy, old sea snake

who cared more for treasure
than he did for anything else

in all the world!

He had a loyal and
hard-working crew,

but they never got to share
any of the riches.

Even so, they were
all very excited

'cause tomorrow they were
all planning to go to

the Great Pirate Feast.

♪ All me jolly maties
All me merry crew ♪

♪ I'll gather up me treasure
and divvy up with you ♪

♪ The Great Pirate Feast ♪

- ♪ Every crew ♪
- ♪ Everywhere ♪

♪ It be time to share ♪

♪ At the Great Pirate Feast ♪

♪ There be treasure for all ♪♪

Enough!

I do not pay you to
warble and caterwaul.

I pay you for working.

Oh, we're just in a lively
spirit, Captain Scrooge.

We've done all our chores,

and now we have plenty of time

for tomorrow's
Great Pirate Feast!

It's the one day a year

when pirates from
across the Never Sea

meet up to celebrate
with their maties.

And everyone shares
their treasure!

[gags] Share their treasure?

That is preposterous!

[Cubby] My favorite part
of the Pirate Feast

is the yummy
coconut crunch cookies.

Bah, humbarnacles.

We can't wait to go!

Well, you will have to,
because you are not going.

Why should me crew get a day off
to lollygag on the beach?

Where is the pirate
profit in that?

But Captain, think of
poor Tiny Cubby.

He so loves the
coconut crunch cookies.

They make me feel
warm and happy,

and remind me of why
I love being a pirate.

Well, then, let me remind you
of why you love being a pirate.

Start peeling these
codfish for dinner!

And the rest of you swabs,
back to work!

And I don't want to hear
a pirate peep

about feasts, maties,
cookies or sharing!

Captain Scrooge shares his
treasure with no one!

[all sigh]

[Jake] OK, g*ng,
I think we're done.

Captain Scrooge is such
a mean, old sea snake.

I can't believe he's going
to keep us from joining

in the Great Pirate Feast.

His greedy heart seems
to only want treasure.

Well, then, let's all hope that
Captain Ebenezer Scrooge

finds the meaning of the
true pirate spirit.

Here! Here!

Aye!

Well, even if we can't go
to the Pirate Feast,

we can still celebrate.
Ha-ha!

Hit it, Cubby!

[harmonica playing]

♪ Yo-h*
Matie, yo-h* ♪

♪ Gonna sing it out
so all can hear it ♪

♪ Yo-h*
Matie, yo-h* ♪

♪ Got the meaning
of true pirate spirit ♪

Treasure! Adventure!

♪ By thunder, they be great
It's true ♪

♪ But to share it
with your maties ♪

♪ Now that's a jolly
pirate crew ♪♪

Stall that racket!

I cannot count me treasure

with all that jumping
and jangling nonsense.

[sputters] But Captain,
we were just having some fun.

You want to have fun?

Then I expect you all to be
up extra early tomorrow

to search for treasure...
for me!

[laughing] 96,301, 96,30...

- [knock on door]
- What in blazes?

Yes, yes! What is it?

Mommy Scrooge!

Ahoy, Ebenezer!

Jolly Pirate Feast to ya!

But... what are you doing here?

I just sailed by to remind you

to bring plenty of treasure
to share tomorrow

at the Great Pirate Feast!

I am not going!

Captain Scrooge does not
share his treasure!

Ebenezer Bartholomew Scrooge,

if you do not change your
Scroogie ways,

you will end up alone,
treasureless and miserable.

Bah, humbarnacles.
Wha!

Do not humbarnacles me,
young man.

I can see you need to learn that
there is more to being a pirate

than keeping treasure
for yourself.

Tonight, you will be visited
by a pirate spirit

who will teach you the
meaning of what it is

to be a true and good pirate.

Ouch!

Now promise me you will listen
to the pirate spirit

like a good boy.

Yes, Mommy, I promise.

There's my darling Ebenezer.

And I expect to see you tomorrow
at the Great Pirate Feast.

Ta-ta!

Pirate Feast, humbarnacles!

[yawns] I'll get a fresh start
counting in the morning.

[blows]

[snoring] Pirate spirit, bah.

[snoring]

[coins jingling]

Wha! Who is there?

What a mess!

You, sir, are a sloppy pirate.

Who are you?

Treasure Tooth's the name,

I'm the spirit of pirate past,
present and future.

Good, then put yourself in the
past and shove off.

I'm trying to get some shut-eye.

[screams]

Can't do that, Scroogie.
You've got a lesson to learn,

and you're gonna start
with the past.

Your pirate past.

[screams]

♪ Past, present, future ♪

♪ Last week, last year ♪

♪ It goes back quite a ways ♪

♪ The past is already done ♪

♪ Just like yesterday ♪

♪ Like a birthday party
that you had ♪

♪ That you remember once ♪

♪ The past is already done ♪♪

Frogwash, this is all
a bucket of fish.

I'll be going back to me bed.

Not so fast.

You promised your mom
you'd listen to me.

[grumbling] Very well.
Get on with it.

[yelling]

Now follow me back in time
to your past.

And watch your step,
it's a long way down.

[Captain Scrooge whimpering]

[children laughing]

- I bet you can't catch me.
- Oh, yes, we can.

Right behind you, Flynn.

[all laughing]

Screeching sea eels!

Those pesky tykes are
giving me a headache.

I'm not surprised.

One of those pesky tykes
is you, Scrooge.

Ah!

- Ha-ha! The coconut is mine!
- Not for long!

- I'll get it next!
- No, I will!

Why, why that's me,
as a lad,

and those are me first mates.

There's young Flynn,
young Red Jessica,

and bless me pirate soul,
there's young Mr. Smee.

Ahoy, maties!

They can't hear you,
Scroogie,

this is the past.

Long ago.
We're just here to watch.

Rising tides! I win!
[laughs]

Well played, Flynnie.

And for winning, you get the...
[chuckles]

...buried treasure.

No fair!
I want the strawberries!

Now, Ebenezer,

Flynnie won the game
and the treasure.

Uh, don't let worry fill
your sails, Eb.

I'm happy to share.

Share! [scoffs]

I want it all for meself.

[Young Red Jessica]
Yo-h*! What's this?

[gasps] A treasure map!

- Treasure?
- Ooh, what's it say?

Aye, let's have a looksie.

No! I mean, allow me
to hold on to it.

You never know what
scoundrels may be after it.

But I found it.

[laughing] The treasure
will be all mine!

[gasps] I need to hide this!

The map will be safe here.

You never shared the map
with your mates, did you?

No! Of course not!
Why should I?

Oi, what a piece of pirate work
you are, Scroogie,

hiding the map from your
friends like that.

It was a long time ago.

I've forgotten all about
the map.

Hmm, the map.

[grunting]

Ow!

Not so fast,
you map grabber, you.

It's time to get back
to your own time.

[snoring]

[chuckling]

I was just dreaming about meself
as a boy with me young mates.

Blast! Thunder!
I nearly had me old map.

But now, I remember where
I hid it all those years ago,

in that statue's mouth!

Get up, you scurvy swabs!

There's treasure to be found!

What are we looking for,
Captain?

Something I lost long ago.

[yells] Save me, Smee!

[chuckles] Why it's just an
old stone tiki, Captain.

Nothing to be afraid of.

Yes, I can see that.

[muttering] A-ha! Got it!

Oh, cool! An old treasure map!

After all these years,

the mystery treasure
will be mine!

You know, Captain,

whatever this
treasure might be,

it would be perfect to share

at the Great Pirate
Feast tomorrow morning.

And then we can have coconut
crunch cookies, too.

I've told you, little
water weasels,

they'll be no sharing
of treasure,

no Pirate Feast
and no cookies.

Now, find me this treasure
and be quick about it.

[children] Aye-aye.

[gasps] It's you!

Next time you plan on
running off,

leave a note in a bottle
or something.

I'm a ghostly spirit,
not a mind reader.

[scoffs] I have more
important things to do

than waste my time flitting
around with you.

[snaps]

Blasting thunder.

You're learning your lesson,
whether you like it or not.

This time, it's in the here
and the now.

The present.

♪ Past, present, future ♪

♪ Right here, here we are ♪

♪ Drop anchor and relay ♪

♪ The present is the
time we're in ♪

♪ We call it today ♪

♪ It's happening right
where you're at ♪

♪ That's how you know how ♪

♪ The present happens now ♪♪

This is a load of
stink fish pie.

If you are done wasting me time,

I am going to catch up
to me crew and me treasure.

You want to be with your crew?

Fine, I'll take you there.

It could be you learn
something worth learning.

[Captain Scrooge] Ah!

Coconuts! This treasure map
has two X's on it.

Look!

Yeah, the first X is to a key,

and the second X is to the
treasure that the key opens.

You know, I'd feel better

about finding treasure
for Captain Scrooge

if he wasn't such a meanie.

"Meanie"?

I'd be just as happy

if Scrooge never found
his silly old treasure.

Yeah, I think we should keep it.

Well, crew, like it or not,
Scrooge is our captain,

and it's our job
to find treasure for him.

You see, spirit,
the lad knows his place.

Even if he is a heartless,
greedy old sea snake.

[all laughing]

Maybe someday, old Scrooge
will become a good pirate.

Maties, the first X on the map
is right over here.

Spirit, do they really think
I'm a greedy, old sea snake?

Everyone thinks you're a greedy,
slimy, old sea snake.

They did not say "slimy."

No, but that's what
you'll always be

if you don't change your ways.

[Jake] Yo-h*, we found
a treasure key.

Did you hear that, spirit?

They found the key
to me treasure.

Hold on, the night's not over.

No treasure yet.

[grunting]

Bumbling butter fish.

If it were not for that
pesky pirate spirit,

I'd have that treasure by now.

Ah, I'll just get it meself.

[whimpers]

Sorry, I needed a midnight nosh.

Now, where were we?

You are leaving and I
am getting me treasure.

So you just want treasure, eh?

Well, you're going to get
what's coming to you.

[chuckles]

'Tis about time.

Be careful what you wish for,
Scroogie,

the future can be
a lonely place.

That's where you're going next,
to visit your future.

It's a place that hasn't
happened yet,

but will happen if you
don't change your ways.

♪ Past, present, future ♪

♪ Sunrise, sunset ♪

♪ And many more to follow ♪

♪ The future hasn't
happened yet ♪

♪ Just like tomorrow ♪

♪ Like a treasure map
you started ♪

♪ But you haven't drawn the X ♪

♪ The future happens next ♪♪

Hoo-ha, look at that.
The treasure.

Ooh! [laughs]

After all these years,
it is mine!

But if this is the future,

then why didn't me crew take the
treasure for themselves?

What's this?
A note?

"Dear Captain Scrooge.

We found the key
and the treasure,

but we couldn't find you.

So we left them here in the
hopes that you can enjoy

your good fortune.

Signed, your faithful crew."

Uh, I still don't understand.

Why would they do this?

Because they are loyal maties,

and they don't take
what's yours.

No, the treasure is all mine!

[party music playing]

What is that music?

Oh, it's nothing. Nothing.

Just the start of the Great
Pirate Feast, that's all.

Sounds like they're having a...
a jolly good time.

Oh, pay no attention to it.

Spirit, what becomes of me crew

if they do not partake
of the Great Pirate Feast?

What do you care?

Why should your crew get the day
off to lollygag on the beach?

Where's the pirate profit
in that?

Aye, but...

what of Tiny Cubby?

Will he enjoy any of those
coconut crunch cookies

he loves so much?

No, this year he'll have to
settle for old codfish bones.

No! But the cookies make
the lad warm and happy

and remind him why he
loves being a pirate.

So does peeling codfish,
right?

Now, stop wasting time.
That's the treasure.

It's yours for the taking.

After all, that's what makes
you happy, isn't it?

[sniffles] Treasure always
made me happy before.

I suppose it's all any
pirate really needs.

Thundering cannons, I have never
seen such riches.

[laughs]

That's odd, I am not happy.
I should be happy.

Spirit, why am I not happy?

Spirit, where are you?

[gasps] I do not want
to be alone!

[voice echoing]

[grunting] I don't
want to be alone!

I don't want to be alone!

[gasps] Huh?

I am back in me own time
and in me own cabin!

It is morning! Ha-ha!

There is much to do!
So much to do!

[snoring]

[Scrooge] Rise and shine,
ya swabs!

[gasping]

Quick, tell me what today is.

[stammering] Um, the day
we take a bath?

No, no!

Is it still the day of the
Great Pirate Feast?

Aye, Captain.
The feast is about to start.

Oh, h*! Leaping lizard fish,
then we haven't missed it!

"We"?

Yes, of course, "we."

We are all going!

- And we're going to have...
- [laughing]

...plenty of those coconut
crunch cookies, too.

Awesome coconuts!

Captain, are you
feeling all right?

Never felt better, me lad!

But what about the treasure?

This... belongs to someone else.

Someone very dear to me.

Now gather up the gold
in me cabin,

we're off to Never Land and the
Great Pirate Feast!

♪ All me jolly maties,
All me merry crew ♪

♪ I'll gather up me treasure
and divvy up with you ♪

♪ The Great Pirate Feast ♪

- ♪ Every crew everywhere ♪
- ♪ It be time to share ♪

♪ At the Great Pirate Feast ♪

♪ There be treasure for all ♪♪

Jolly Pirate Feast, my son.

I knew you'd be here.

Thanks to you, Mummy.

Milady, I've something
very special for you.

Oh, Ebenezer,

it's the map from when we
were wee pirate kids.

I'm sorry I ever took
this from you.

Why, Ebenezer, you are
a true gentleman,

and a great pirate.

[kisses]

[chuckles]

Well done, Scroogie.

Ahoy, me maties!

A very jolly Pirate Feast
to us all

and to all a day to share!

Way-hey!

[Jake] And from
that day forward,

old Captain Scrooge was
a good and true pirate

who shared his treasure
with his maties.

So if everyone shares
their treasure,

it brings us all
closer together.

That's right, Cubby!

Yo-h*! That's the way to go!

[Captain Hook] Blast!

[grunt]

Captain Hook, what are you
doing here?

I bet he's after our treasure.

Me? After your treasure?

Why, I would never be
a Captain Scrooge.

Well, Captain Hook, would you
and your crew care to join us?

We're just about to share
our treasure.

And we've got plenty
to go around.

We would be delighted
to join you.

♪ All me jolly maties
All me merry crew ♪

Coconut crunch cookies?
That's your treasure?

Yep, they're super awesome!

And now I know,
it's always best to share.

♪ Gold doubloons
for every mate to share ♪

Yo-h*, maties!

Thanks for joining us
on today's adventure.

And a very jolly
Pirate Feast to us all,

and to all a day to share.

♪ At the Great Pirate Feast ♪

♪ There be treasure for all ♪♪

Yo-h*!

[giggling]

All aboard now!
It be Christmas!

Every matie wants to be
on Santa's list.

Have you all been good,
jolly buccaneers?

[laughs]

♪ Load the cannon
with confetti ♪

♪ Jingle bells
and let's get ready ♪

♪ We're gonna make a great,
big noise ♪

♪ It's Christmastime
Ahoy ♪

♪ Singing merry yo-h*
holiday ♪

♪ To all me pirate crew ♪

♪ A merry Christmas to you ♪

Hey, hey!

♪ Yo-h* h*,
Yo-h* h* ♪

♪ h*-h* h*,
Yo-h* h* ♪

♪ A merry Christmas to you ♪♪