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Parrot Kindergarten (2025)

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Parrot Kindergarten (2025)

Post by bunniefuu »

[groans]

[shallow breathing, exhales]

[shivering, exhales]

[Mickey 17, VO]

How did I survive that?

[groans] It was some damn fall.

-[beeping]

-Oh, sh*t. My comm's busted.

[gasping]

My thermal's busted too.

I should have got

snapped in half

and died on the way down,

instead of slowly turning

into a meat popsicle.

[vehicle whirring]

Timo?

Timo!

Timo, I'm down here.

Ow. [grunting]

[coughing] Timo.

[echoing] Mickey?

T-- Timo!

-Timo, I'm down here.

-Mickey. Whoa.

-You haven't died yet?

-[chuckles]

-No.

-Hold on.

[groans]

[Timo humming]

[gasping, chuckles]

[Timo gasps]

Oh, sh*t.

-Your flamethrower's still good.

-[chuckles]

Not a single scratch.

It's a good thing I thought

to come down here.

Weapons will be happy

to see this.

Hey, I'm gonna

turn this in, okay?

I can take it.

You're not mad, right?

That I'm just taking this?

I mean, it's not looking

very good for you, right?

-Also, line only goes this far.

-Uh-huh.

Yeah, no, we-- we're cool.

You shouldn't have to

take the risk.

[Timo]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Plus, they're gonna reprint you

back out tomorrow anyway.

Yeah.

Hey, Mickey.

Yeah?

What's it feel like to die?

I'm sure you're used to it

by now. Still... [chuckles]

[scoffs]

[winch whirring]

How many times is this?

You're Mickey... 16?

[Mickey 17] 17. Jerk.

18 after this one.

Well, it was nice knowing you,

have a nice death.

See you tomorrow.

[creature chittering]

[Mickey 17, VO] Oh, great.

[scoffs] Why not?

[creatures continue chittering]

That's a pretty big one.

Hopefully, I'll just

get swallowed in one go.

It's got to be better

than slowly freezing to death.

I guess.

[creatures grunting, chirping]

[shrieks, roars]

[roars]

[rumbles]

-[Mickey 17, VO] Or maybe not.

-[wet drip]

[whirring]

[thudding]

[Mickey 17, VO] But they just

printed me out again

every time I died.

All my data is saved, and

I just get a whole new body.

They do all this, kind of,

regular uploads of memories

-and my personality traits...

-[group laughing]

...and re-implant it back

in my brain.

That's some

crazy technology, man.

Let's just say it's--

it's advanced.

It's very advanced.

-[object rattles]

-[group cheers]

-[man] Yes.

-[machine beeping]

[man 2] Oh, come on, come on.

Wait. Would you just

hold on a second?

Just like--

Calm down. Calm down.

Just relax, breathe.

That's right, breathe.

-[group] Oh!

-[man 1] Yes!

[Mickey 17, VO]

The whole body printing

and memory transplanting thing,

to be honest, was so

ridiculously ahead of its time,

that it caused so many, like,

ethical fights

and religious blah, blah, blah,

that it was actually

banned on Earth,

and they only allow it now

in outer space for Expendables.

Like me. [chuckles]

So, from the second

we left the atmosphere,

they made me work my a*s off

all the way to this planet.

Gave me

one mission after another.

Uh, Tech, what's going on?

The extra cable's here already.

[male tech]

Um, the thing is, Mickey...

Hey, Medical,

you wanna tell him?

Tell me what?

[female tech]

Hi, Mickey. How're you doing?

Are you experiencing any

vertigo, nausea or dizziness?

Uh, I-I guess I am feeling

a little dizzy.

[man] It's only gonna get worse

from here, Mickey,

with a nice fever too.

Truth is, you're exposed to

unthinkable levels

of radiation right now,

which is why we sent you out

in the first place.

Okay.

[man]

If you could give us a full

description of your symptoms.

So, a couple things

I wanna go through

on our cosmic radiation

checklist first.

How long until

your skin starts to burn?

Then, how long

until you go blind?

And of course,

how long until you die?

That's the real nut

we're after.

[Mickey 17, VO]

There was this one time

in my fourth grade

science class,

I messed with a lab frog.

I just figured

this all must be my punishment.

[man]

Mickey, take off your glove,

so I can see what's happening

under your space suit.

-[grunting]

-[air hisses]

Oh! Oh! Wow! Did you see that?

[inaudible]

[printer whirring, rattling]

[shallow breathing]

Good morning.

-Good morning.

-Keep yourself hydrated, Mickey.

You'll start to feel

extremely parched.

Arkady,

I think the dose was too high.

Who cares, Dorothy? He's

gonna be dead in ten minutes.

Just focus on getting

all the blood samples.

He's gonna bleed

through his eyes,

nose, mouth, ears, and rectum.

Make sure to collect separate

samples from every hole. Okay?

And keep the memory upload going

at the same time.

[computer whirs]

This Mickey's special,

you know that, right?

Out of all the Mickeys, you

will have the shortest lifespan.

-I heard. Ten minutes.

-Well--

Actually, good news,

it's more like 15. [chuckles]

-Much better, isn't it?

-[chuckles]

[Mickey 17, VO] I would

have been filthy rich by now

with life insurance, except...

[chuckles] ...obviously,

Expendables are uninsurable.

There's no workers' comp,

no unions, no pension benefits.

Now, I wouldn't be surprised

if you were thinking

at this point,

"Well then, why-- why did you

do this to yourself?"

Well, because

I had a friend who told me

that one day macarons

would sell better than burgers.

And because

I trusted this shitty friend,

and I got an enormous loan

from a wonderful gentleman

to open a macaron store.

-[gasping]

-[train horn in distance]

[both grunting]

[straining]

-[beeping]

-[Mickey] Oh, sh*t.

[both gasping]

-[beeping]

-[electricity zaps]

-[beeping]

-[grunting]

[yelps, grunts]

-[grunting]

-All right, all right,

calm down.

I'm well aware

that you have four weeks left.

Just think of this

as a little field trip.

A taste of what may unfold

should you fail to reimburse us

in a timely manner.

Besides, you two have

a lot of time on your hands,

with your little macaron shop

gone under.

This is quite a show you got

on here for me, quite a show.

The message is clear,

I hear you.

I hear it loud and clear,

"I'm late. I'm late.

The money is late."

It's coming.

Two people behind...

[Mickey 17, VO] Darius Blank.

A name I wish I'd never heard.

Mr. Blank isn't all that

concerned with money.

He has plenty.

This building's just one

of his many assets.

Watching his delinquent

borrowers die,

savoring the details of death...

that, he truly enjoys.

The message is clear. You can

stop now. We can stop, you know?

It's-- It's... I hear you.

You know, two weeks,

two weeks is all it takes.

All it takes now.

A-A-And more is coming,

there's more coming,

more money is...

-[revving]

-More money is, is, is...

[saw continues revving]

[screams]

We caught that gentleman

four days ago

in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia.

Looks expensive.

Rest assured,

anyone who misses the deadline,

we chase them

to the ends of the Earth.

[Mickey 17, VO] So we decided

to get off of Earth.

Nothing was working out, and

I got no family relying on me.

So, I applied

to the colony expedition,

but there's, like,

a million other people

with the same idea.

Seems like the whole

of this rotten planet

was running away

from something.

I guess everybody's

got money problems.

But anyway,

we had to get on this ship,

because it was

the last one of the season.

[switch clicks]

Waves upon waves of people

desperate to leave Earth.

It's clear anti-migrationists

are talking to a brick wall

when they insist on

fixing up the Earth,

instead of risking lives

by migrating to another planet.

It feels like

these passionate applicants

are already off in space.

More importantly,

this is the expedition

led by former congressman,

Kenneth Marshall,

who lost his last two elections.

Is this failed politician

now trying to establish

a kingdom beyond the stars?

Is it his fanatical supporters

who won him

a generous sponsorship

from a particular religious

organization and corporation?

So many questions

left unanswered.

Let's go and talk to the crowd.

Excuse me, are you

a Kenneth Marshall supporter?

I am. I am, big time.

I am a full-on supporter.

I basically am the one and only.

Are you from

M-Marshall's official channel?

-I'm from EC 20--

-No way.

So Marshall's watching this

right now?

-Oh, my God!

-You need to pick me.

I swear, please pick me.

[woman] You need people young

and healthy for the expedition.

[announcer]

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have another

mild sandstorm today.

Access is now restricted

to gate three.

Please visit our stand for

discounted goggles and masks.

Additional five percent off

with Marshall Pay, as always.

The other expeditions

wouldn't take me,

but they're wrong, I promise.

I can fix toilets.

I make gingerbread.

You gotta take me,

give me a shot.

[woman] Take us to the clean

star, Marshall and Ylfa.

Take me with you!

[storm rumbles]

Expendable.

You're applying to be

an Expendable?

Seriously?

You read through

the whole application?

[exhales] Yeah. [sighs]

[Mickey 17, VO]

I should have read through it.

I mean, I didn't have

too much of a choice.

I don't have any

bona fide certifications.

I don't really have

any skills whatsoever.

Then I find out

Timo's already called dibs

on a position for himself,

as a flitter pilot.

He only just got

his learner's permit

a couple of weeks before.

No idea what he had to

come up with to pull that off,

but you gotta give it to him.

-Excuse me.

-[chain saw revving]

Is there, like, some

construction going on?

Sorry, what?

You don't hear like a...

...like a ch-chain saw?

Uh, no.

[Mickey 17, VO] I wanted to get

the hell outta there.

Somewhere where the sound

couldn't follow me.

Far out into space.

You read through the paperwork?

Yes.

You read it, so you know, right?

This is gonna be

a pretty extreme job.

But it's also gonna be fun.

I'll explain all the details.

[Mickey 17, VO] I got so

distracted by that smell, uh,

the smell of this woman's hair.

It was like it brought back

some far away memory,

or something.

That giant tank downstairs

is called a cycler.

It takes organic waste produced

in the spaceship,

apple peels,

chicken bones, rotten eggs,

dead bodies,

human waste, you name it...

then it combines, refines,

and recycles them

and sends a portion

to this printer.

Raw materials for a human body.

Once you die,

and the Committee approves,

it'll print a new version

of your body within 20 hours.

Take your clothes off,

change into this.

[Mickey 17, VO] I couldn't even

hear anything she was saying.

It was like all of my senses

were focused on my nose.

Like, real dj vu,

but for a smell.

We're going to do a full scan

of your biodata.

That means you'll be reprinted

exactly as you are right now.

Forever.

I better pop this.

Otherwise,

it will be there every time.

[Mickey 17, VO]

Well, I'm glad she didn't know

about the one on my butt.

[beeps]

[Mickey 17, VO] So,

after she does the body scan,

she uploaded my memories.

Called it

a "personality backup."

And I gotta do this

once a week,

so I don't have any big gaps

every time they print me out.

[red haired woman] In the past,

you would have needed

a hard drive the size of

a commercial refrigerator

to copy an adult brain.

Now, this little brick.

Clever, right?

[Mickey 17, VO]

So, I was injected with some

special solution.

It brought back

a flood of old memories.

Too many memories.

We were heading home

from the supermarket.

I asked to sit

in the front seat.

I said, "I'm big enough."

And that's when

I saw the red button.

I just pressed it

and she crashed.

[sobbing]

Put it to your head

and pull the trigger.

This is the final requirement

to become an Expendable.

[gasping]

Prove to me

you have faith in the system.

From now on,

you need to get used to dying.

This is your job.

[wincing]

[grunting]

-[hammer clicks]

-[fire roars]

[Mickey 17, VO] I began the

four-and-a-half year journey

as Mickey 1.

When you're stuck in a

spaceship for that long,

food is everything.

-[alarm blares]

-[male voice] Warning,

Mickey 1.

Seven calories over

the current ration allocation.

[Mickey 17, VO] On that

first day in the cafeteria,

I think I might have

started thinking,

"What have I done?" a little.

The whole room was full of

people eating this crappy food,

and there's total silence,

like, you could hear

a pin drop.

Until, Kenneth Marshall

and his wife, Ylfa, walk in.

[cheers and applause]

And a whole bunch of people

just started going nuts.

-[cheering]

-[scattered praise]

[Mickey 17, VO] I was thinking,

"What the hell

am I doing here?"

[cheers and applause continues]

[Mickey 17, VO]

But that's when I saw her.

Nasha.

[cheering continues muffled]

[Mickey 17, VO]

That was the first time

I saw Nasha Barridge.

On day one

in this long journey.

[mouths words]

[cheers and applause]

[inaudible speech]

[inaudible speech]

[cheering continues]

Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!

All right, enough. Enough.

Keep that up for one minute

and you waste five calories.

That's two percent

of the precious meal

you're eating right now.

As you know,

our number one priority

is to conserve food resources

until our arrival at Niflheim,

so that we maximize

our survival rate.

So, listen up.

Sexual intercourse, for example.

-Each...

-Session.

...session consumes

a whopping 100 calories.

-At least.

-At least.

Depending on the participants,

duration times friction

equals...

The point is, Kenneth is talking

to the Committee

about banning

all sexual activity on the ship.

[woman] What?

Well, I don't have

a problem with that.

[exhales]

Darling, are you sure this is

the right time to bring that up?

Honey, I'm sorry.

I was just trying to help you.

No. It's okay.

Am I doing okay?

Should I go harder?

-Yes! Yes, go hard.

-All right.

[inhales]

Fellow pioneers,

once we've arrived in Niflheim

and we've secured

our food production,

we will launch the greatest

sex encouragement campaign

in history.

[cheering roars]

[Nasha laughs]

You will spread your seed

across the planet.

-[gasping]

-[cheering echoes]

First we survive!

Then we thrive!

Then we go forth and multiply!

Propagate the species!

We shall infest the land!

[cheering]

Marshall! Marshall! Marshall!

[Mickey 17, VO]

And so we started infesting.

[chuckles] With love.

[murmuring]

[chuckling]

And then, unfortunately,

this is...

[Nasha] Yeah.

And now do this bit.

[Mickey] Ooh.

-[Mickey] Oh, yeah.

-Come on, it's not that big.

[laughing]

[Nasha] I'm sorry.

[Mickey 17, VO]

Those four years

would have felt like 40

-if it weren't for Nasha.

-[giggles]

She stayed with me

in the best of times...

[beeping]

...and kept by my side

in the worst of times.

[breathing shakily]

[Mickey 17, VO]

Not everyone gets lucky enough

to find a soulmate like this.

None of this

would have happened

if I'd never

boarded this spaceship,

so all hail the great

loan shark, Darius Blank.

Thanks, Darius.

But it wasn't like

I was slacking, though.

I was super busy every day,

taking care of Nasha,

and she's

an all-in-one elite agent.

And it's not easy

supporting someone

who's a soldier, a police

officer, and a firefighter.

But what she sees in me,

I got no idea.

I'm just grateful.

But as soon as

I step out the door,

the ship was filled

with mostly... dickheads.

Hey! Mickey, right?

[scoffs] Can we just ask...

Well... what's it like to die?

You know, when you're reprinted?

Yeah, how does that feel?

Come on, just tell us.

We really want to know.

[Mickey 17, VO]

Imagine spending years,

elbow-to-elbow

with these bozos.

He won't tell us.

It was enough to push anyone

over the edge.

-"You'd have to k*ll me first!"

-"Over my dead body!"

Sometimes even Nasha,

-who is a model citizen...

-Over your dead body?

...would have to step in

and remind us...

Over your dead body?

...that we were

all one big happy family.

Where do you think you're going?

[Mickey 17, VO]

There to help one another.

There to have

each other's backs.

A tight-knit

harmonious community.

What do you say?

[announcer]

And the Committee has reduced

Mickey 9's rations by half

and assigned him

to manual cycler cleaning

until further notice.

[man] Congrats, man!

Hey, Mickey.

You must be hungry.

Have some more.

Uh, thanks, Kai. Um--

Do you change your shampoo?

[Nasha] Shampoo?

There's only one shampoo

in this entire spaceship.

-Thank you.

-[Timo] Okay.

[Mickey 17, VO]

It was a very long trip

-in a beautiful community.

-Hi.

But, uh, Nasha was obviously

my one and only, you know.

For real.

And as for my one and only job,

I was proud of it.

[printer warbles]

Felt like

I was part of the team.

Matthew! Matthew!

-I'm on the last level! [groans]

-Come on, hurry up!

[groans] Quickly!

[Marshall]

My brother travelers...

-[Ylfa] And sisters.

-[Marshall] And sisters.

It is long that we have come,

four years together

in this ship.

And I, we, love you

like our very own family.

And here we are,

right below us awaits

our very own planet of purity.

[coughing heavily]

What the f*ck is wrong with him?

He's so annoying.

Maybe he has the flu

or something?

Like a virgin vanilla ice cream.

Touched

for the very first time.

It's gonna be really cold.

Whoever's going down there first

is gonna freeze to death.

[Arkady] That's it, Mickey.

Deep breaths. Fill your lungs.

Imagine there's

an unknown virus in the air

and you're sucking in

every single microscopic

particle floating around.

All the viruses

fill every alveoli.

-[inhales]

-[inhales, exhales]

-So good!

-[all exhale]

[vomits]

[Matthew] So good! Brilliant.

[Mickey 17, VO]

There really was

an unknown virus in the air.

A lethal one.

[printer thudding, whirring]

[all groaning]

[grunting]

[groans]

[groans, sighs]

[printer warbles]

Dorothy! Dorothy!

Oh, wait. He's alive.

[soldier] So f*cking what?

I'm fine.

Thank you.

[Mickey 17, VO] In the end,

thanks to the lab rats,

Mickey 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16,

getting stabbed, gassed, dumped

and burned, we got the vaccine.

My great gift to mankind.

And so,

we didn't need oxygen masks,

and we could see our breath

as much as we wanted.

Look at that, Jennifer.

Ridiculous.

I can't believe we still live

in that thing.

[Jennifer] I know, right?

Landfall was ages ago,

and we're still eating

the same crappy

in-flight TV dinner.

[Kai chuckles]

Precisely why we ought

to build residential complexes.

You know, grow crops

as soon as possible.

-[Jennifer] Yeah, sure.

-You know, spread the seed,

infest the land,

propagate the species.

[women chuckle]

[Mickey 17] It's freezing.

Whoa. Look at that color.

-Yeah.

-It's beautiful--

-[groans]

-[women laugh]

[soldier] He's such a klutz.

You should learn

some breakfall moves.

-[Jennifer] You okay?

-[Mickey 17] Yeah, I'm fine.

[soldier] Come on.

[chirping]

[Mickey 17] What's breakfall?

[soldier] Look at Kai.

Textbook perfect breakfall.

-[Mickey] Yeah?

-[Jennifer] Shut up.

Kai. What is it?

[chirps]

[soldier] Oh, God! What is that?

-[Jennifer] Oh, my God!

-[creature chirps]

[Kai screams]

Get it off! Get it off!

-[soldier] Mickey!

-[machine g*n fire]

[creature chirps]

[Jennifer] What the f*ck, man?

What the f*ck? What the f*ck?

[Mickey 17, VO] What was that?

What the heck was that?

[Kai] I don't know,

but there are more in the hole.

[chitters echoing]

-[Mickey 17] What--

-Let's get the f*ck out of here.

[soldier]

Come on, Mickey, let's go!

[growls] Go, go, go. Move! Move!

[chirping, chittering]

[coos]

[machine g*n fire]

-[loud rumbling]

-Jennifer!

[rocks rumbling]

Thank you.

[computer beeps]

Mickey. Mickey, it's Marshall.

You f*cking

useless little as*h*le!

You're an Expendable!

You're here to be expended,

damn it!

And why is Jennifer Chilton,

a precious, fertile female,

-dead and not you?

-[soldier] Come to my room.

-[Ylfa] Honey, try this.

-[Kai] Leave me alone.

[chattering]

That's what

I want to know. Disgusting.

[Ylfa] Really?

You don't like my sauce?

No, no, no, no, darling.

-Those things, look at them.

-The f*ck's going on?

They're vicious, aren't they?

-[sobbing in distance]

-Hungry's more like it.

Hey, you! Stand still.

Don't move.

They lust for human flesh.

They're creepy.

Oh, honey, that's perfect.

You should

call them "creepers".

I'll call them "creepers".

I'm calling them "creepers".

Preston, are you listening?

Expendable, I've decided,

and the Committee,

that going forward,

your rations will be halved.

[Mickey 17, VO]

So, my shift doubled.

Fourteen hours every day,

seven days a week,

until I brought home

a creeper sample. [panting]

Timo! Timo!

[vehicle whirs]

[panting, grunting]

[grunts]

[microphone clicks]

[Timo] Mickey, sexy chewy,

your favorite.

Chose it myself. Enjoy!

-[ice cracking]

-[shouts]

[shallow breathing]

[groans]

[Mickey 17, VO]

How did I survive that?

[vehicle whirs]

-[exhales]

-Mickey! Whoa.

You haven't died yet?

[scoffs]

What's it feel like to die?

[creeper grunts]

[Mickey 17, VO] Even on my 17th

go-around, I really hate dying.

[creeper grunts]

[Mickey 17, VO] Still.

Always.

-[rumbles]

-Every time.

-[wet drip]

-Bon apptit.

[gong rings]

[bell dings]

-[groaning]

-[creeper grunting]

[Mickey 17, VO]

Where am I? What's going on?

[panting] I'm not coming out

of the printer?

[exhales] I'm still 17. [sighs]

Why didn't that thing eat me?

I was passed out.

[baby creepers chirping]

Did I not look tasty enough?

[chirps, chitters]

Oh, God. It--

It was saving me

for the kiddos.

[sighs] What a great mom.

-Oh, please just make it quick.

-[chirping]

Come on guys, big bites.

Big bites!

Ow.

Where are you taking me now?

Has my meat gone bad

after all that reprinting?

[grunting, groaning]

[creepers squealing, groaning]

[grunts]

Oh! [grunting]

[chirping]

[spits]

Hey.

[creeper rumbles]

I'm still good meat.

I'm perfectly good meat.

[voice breaks] I taste fine.

[deep chittering]

[imitates deep chittering]

Ditching me out here

in the middle of nowhere.

It's not cool!

[creeper rumbles quietly]

[shivering, exhales]

[music plays in distance]

Hey! Hey!

Stop!

Hey!

[music playing]

Hey. Hey!

[grunting]

-Whoa!

-[marshaller] Keep it coming!

-Hey wait! Stop!

-[marshaller] Bring it in!

No, stop!

You can't come through.

-What?

-I said stop.

-What's wrong?

-[driver] What is it now? sh*t!

Hey, look how big that rock is.

Are you blind?

You can't just have

the authority

-to bring something

like that in.

-[coughing]

You think you can jam something

that huge through here?

Science requested it,

so don't give me sh*t about it.

You try to jam it in,

and scratch anywhere

on this gate, my gate,

it's on you.

On me? How?

Blame the guys in Science.

They cut into the site,

but I got specific orders

to bring it as is.

[quartermaster] Well,

I don't f*cking care, okay?

They're in a meeting over there,

I can't reach them.

I'm not taking the fall

for this.

Every time you come in here,

my gate, gate three,

you act like you own the place.

[driver] Why would I

wanna own this sh*thole?

[quartermaster] You should

shut the f*ck up, okay?

[driver] You know what?

You need to get laid.

-f*ck you!

-[shivering]

Oh, damn, Mickey!

Didn't expect

to see you out there today.

[shivering]

Wait. Is that the time?

It's 3:30?

That doesn't make any sense.

That's right, that's it.

Straight down, hold your line.

Hold your line.

Do you remember--

Do you remember when I left?

-What did you say?

-Hold your line.

[quartermaster]

No. No, no, wait, Buzzard.

That's not how you do it. Jeez!

Shut it off at the mains.

The switch. Hey!

[marshaller]

No, no, don't. Stop! Stop!

[quartermaster, shouting]

sh*t! What did I tell you?

f*cking shitbrain.

-Coming through. Line out.

-[whispers] Hi, Steve.

[sighs]

[male announcer]

It's that time again.

The dinner of your dreams

with Kenneth Marshall.

Who will be this month's

lucky guest of honor?

A grand surprise awaits.

Hang on to your ship,

because the dove of luck

just might come

fluttering its wings

with an invitation for you.

From dove, with love,

over and out.

[radio tone dings]

[sighs]

[exhales]

[gasps]

[screams]

[gasping] What is this?

[sighs] Why aren't you dead?

Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, God.

No, no, no.

[stammering] You're 18?

They printed you out today?

What the f*ck is going on?

According to Timo,

you should be sliding out of

one of those creeper's assholes

right about now.

[sighs]

Do you have to put it like that?

Oh, God. I'm completely f*cked.

What do you mean?

We're Multiples.

[Mickey 18 grunts]

[sighs]

[sighs] I gotta k*ll you.

k*ll me? [chuckles]

I mean, you should

probably k*ll yourself

if one of us has to die.

[sighs] It's been, like,

two hours since I was printed.

I've barely had a life.

Well, I was never dead,

so you don't count.

Go back to the cycler!

-[grunts]

-[weight clanks]

[Mickey 17, VO] Multiples.

Where do I even begin?

Mankind is not equipped

to deal with

the legal and ethical

implications

of adopting

this human printing technology.

[flashbulb pops]

Please tell me,

can any of you

honestly guarantee

that the technology

will not be abused?

[Mickey 17, VO] No one in their

R and D department

could come up

with a convincing answer.

But the real problem was that

one of the brains

behind human printing

turned out to be

a certified psychopath,

Alan Manikova.

I think it's him. [sighs]

Are you sure?

[Mickey 17, VO]

There was this series

of particularly brutal murders

targeting homeless people,

and only one

eyewitness account.

But it matched Alan Manikova's

appearance to a tee.

The cops thought

they had their man,

except Manikova had

a sure-fire alibi.

-[kids clamoring]

-At the time of the m*rder,

he was getting his make-up done

for a children's science show.

...come and help me

with the red blood cells

and the white blood cells,

please?

[Mickey 17, VO]

But the cops had his number.

When they raided

Manikova's house,

they brought two sets

of handcuffs and warrants.

They were on to him. Or rather,

they were on to them.

Which one's Manikova Prime?

You?

Or you?

[Mickey 17, VO]

Yep, there were two.

One for the m*rder

and one for the alibi.

Manikova had printed

another Manikova

-without the company knowing.

-[sniffing]

[Mickey 17, VO] And so

here's a question for you,

are they accomplices or did one

act under the other's orders?

Are these separate,

independent crimes,

or were they one person

from the get-go?

They only get half portions

in jail,

or do they get

a full meal each?

Police, legal experts,

philosophers,

everyone was stumped.

But while Manikova 1 and 2

were both

locked up

in an interrogation room,

another homeless man

was brutally m*rder*d.

Lo and behold, Manikova 3.

-[metallic scrape]

-[thunder rumbles]

-[stabbing]

-[man grunting]

[Mickey 17, VO] I think it was

some cheap tabloid reporter

who called them Multiples,

or some professor or something.

Whoever came up with it,

it stuck.

-[camera shutter clicks]

-[beeps]

And pretty soon the word

"Multiples"

spread fear and contempt.

So Multiples are an abomination.

They destroy the natural order.

Each soul shall

only have one body. Right?

One soul, one body.

The Lord, he only blesses

this one-to-one union.

But former congressman Marshall

does have a point

worth considering.

It would be a shame

not to explore

the potential application

of this advanced technology.

I was happy to receive an

invitation from this committee.

You were subpoenaed,

Mr. Marshall.

Sure, sure. In any case,

I want to take this opportunity

to speak

as an Expedition Commander.

Human printing is a sin.

-Multiples are Satan's work.

-[shutters clicking]

However, I've been contemplating

how can we use

this abomination

for our common economic benefit.

I propose...

a trial run of human printing

far from Earth

under the strictest oversight.

Limiting such individuals to

one per expedition, per planet,

under the designation,

"Expendable."

Multiples,

in the case of Multiples,

we exterminate

every offending individual

in totality, mind and body, all

for the sake of public service.

[speaker]

On this Niflheim expedition,

all Multiples will immediately

be arrested, ex*cuted,

and permanently deleted.

[bangs gavel]

[Mickey 17 groans] My head.

What the hell is this guy?

Nasha told me that

Mickey 3 was whiny and clingy.

5 was, uh, indecisive.

And apparently, 8 was pretty

annoying and kinda stupid,

but none of them

were complete nutjobs.

Even this lunatic is scared

of being a Multiple though.

That's permanent deletion.

Trying to trash me

in the cycler.

[fire roaring]

If one of us has to go...

[sighs]

...it ain't gonna be me.

-[fire roaring]

-[liquid bubbling]

[sighs]

-[weight clanks]

-[quiet inhale]

[gasps]

[grunts]

[yelping]

[gasping]

Half it! Half it!

Half, half, half!

-What?

-Half it. Half!

I'll half it with you.

I'll half the rations. We could

split the workload, too.

And we can take turns dying.

[shouts]

[grunts]

And you're 18,

so you can take all even numbers

and I-I'll just cover, like,

19, 21, and the odd numbers.

Are you afraid to die?

Kinda, yeah.

You died plenty of times.

What are you so scared of?

Until now, I died and...

I was just born again, you know.

It felt like it was me

continuing on. [gasping]

But now...

once I die...

it'll be over for me.

It'll be you living on.

You get what I mean?

[Mickey 18 exhales]

I don't like you.

You're such a little b*tch.

But I'm you.

I'm not you.

I'm not gonna live like you.

-I'm gonna k*ll you.

-[shouts]

-[gasping]

-[whistling "Yankee Doodle"]

[yelps]

[whistling continues]

What the f*ck, man?

Are you trying to get noticed?

They don't even have cameras.

Take that off, dumbass.

Amateur. Your first time?

[man] No, no.

This is the pure stuff, right?

Undiluted?

[Timo scoffs] Who do you

think you're talking to?

This is pure, uncut Oxy.

It's f*cking rare.

You only get

two Oxyzofol capsules

in one flamethrower, man.

[inhales]

[Timo] What is that?

[man sighs] I feel it.

[Timo] What are you doing?

That's not a thing. Open it.

Should we just k*ll

that son of a b*tch?

-[man] I was just joking around.

-What?

Don't act surprised.

Your memories are my memories.

The money he blew.

That b*stard put most

of the loans under our name.

In Darius Blank's ledger,

we're the ones on the hook.

That needs fact checking.

-[Timo] Have fun, man.

-[footsteps recede]

Let's k*ll him.

Are you crazy?

He-He's, like, my only friend.

Friend? Same orphanage

doesn't mean sh*t.

Wait, wait.

[whistling]

[chuckles] Timo.

Mickey, what...?

Looks like business

is blowing up, huh?

What're you talking about?

Another junky coming in.

[chuckles]

[grunting]

-[Timo screams]

-[Mickey 18 grunting]

[Mickey 17] Timo!

Hey! Are you mental? [grunting]

Wait until I get out of here.

I'm gonna k*ll you!

The f*ck is this? [grunts]

Come down lower!

You f*cking idiot.

[grunts]

-[Timo grunts]

-[grunting]

-[gasping]

-[metal clanking]

[Timo] Okay.

-Okay. Come on.

-[metal scrapes]

Mickey, help me. [panting]

What is that? Why is it so red?

That looks hot.

What are you doing?

[Mickey 18] I want you

to have a go at dying,

you son of a b*tch.

-[Timo] What?

-[sizzling]

Come on!

[gasps]

Stop. Stop!

[shushes]

[metal banging]

-[Mickey 17 gasps]

-[man] Oh.

Is that Mickey?

Hey, what's going on?

[Nasha]

Mickey, what are you doing here?

Uh, Timo accidentally fell in,

but, uh, he's all right now.

You wanna keep dealing,

m*therf*cker?

Watch what you say.

[gasps, groans]

What happened? You okay?

What's up with your hand?

[Timo groans]

Just taking out the trash,

and I tripped into the hole.

I would've been a goner

if not for Mickey.

I almost became cycler dust.

[chuckles]

[Nasha] Hey.

You all right?

Told you to stay in bed.

It's only been a few hours

since you were printed.

[Mickey 18]

Yeah, I should've done.

-[man] You heard the rumors?

-Huh?

Some guy out there

is dealing undiluted Oxyzofol.

What? That's crazy.

That's pretty messed up.

Between us, Timo,

a drop here and there before bed

to take the edge off, I get it.

But the pure, uncut stuff

is crossing the line.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

That's bad.

Nasha, take Mickey home.

I'll wrap up here.

Yes. Thank you.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[scoffs]

Well, today I feel like B6.

-B6?

-Yes. [giggles]

-Flying Nasha?

-[imitates bird, laughs]

It's definitely

the right place for that one.

[Nasha]

What's going on with you?

[Mickey 18] Mm! [kisses]

[giggling] This isn't like you.

B6? [exhales]

[gasps] B6 was ours, Nasha.

[Nasha laughing]

-Mickey?

-[gasps]

Hey, brother.

I was just headed to your room

to get you, but here you are.

[pigeon man]

Looking good, Mickey.

Yes, sir. Okay.

You stand there.

Arm around, please.

Great. Good. Uh, big smile,

Mickey, would you?

-Hold that.

-Yeah, big smile. Great.

Sorry. Could you just stand--

Great, thank you.

Okay, and action.

Congratulations.

This month's lucky winner,

the fortunate soul

who'll have the privilege

of a private dinner--

At the camera--

who'll have a private dinner

with the one and only

Kenneth Marshall is...

-Down the barrel.

-[grunts]

-It's Mickey.

-[exhales]

Great. Big smile.

-Smile.

-[exhales]

There. Amazing. Okay, cut.

Now, Marshall wants you

to come ASAP, okay?

He's got a whole feast prepared

just for you.

The Lord is truly blessing you

today, Mickey.

First, I need to

go back to my room.

You get to stuff

your f*cking face, Mickey.

[Mickey 17, VO] I bet that

freak is probably drooling

all over my beautiful Nasha

already.

It's disgusting. [gasping]

What's even more disgusting

is that I'm drooling

at the thought

of the tenderloin steak

I ordered

for Marshall's dinner.

This is so wrong!

[Ylfa] So glad you seem

to be enjoying it.

-[Ylfa, Marshall chuckle]

-[Ylfa] How's the sauce?

Oh. [muffled speech]

Oh, sorry, sorry.

[chuckles] Please, continue.

Yeah, yeah, Mickey. Uh--

Listen, going back to everything

that happened with, uh--

Jennifer.

Yes, Jennifer.

Jennifer...

Chilton.

I know, I know. [chuckles]

When we lost

our dear Jennifer Chilton,

I may have gotten a little angry

and said some

terribly unkind things.

I know it's late,

and I want to apologize.

[chuckles]

He's always like this.

Such an adorable man and then

suddenly he's all cutthroat.

[chuckles]

[whispers] Darling, I'm trying

to make it here. Okay?

Sorry. You're still squishy,

fresh out of the printer.

Continue feeding yourself.

[door whooshes]

Oh. Anyway, we have

another special guest here.

Hi, Kai.

Sorry, I'm late.

-[Marshall] You look very nice.

-Thank you.

[Marshall] Come. Come.

-[Ylfa] It's good to see you.

-[Marshall] Sit.

You okay? Emotionally?

Yeah, I feel fine, sir.

Thank you.

I'm glad to hear it, Kai.

I'm so sorry about Jennifer.

I hear you were extremely close.

Your best friend.

[whispers] But I knew you'd

stay strong throughout it all.

Thank you, ma'am.

But we didn't invite you here

simply to comfort you.

We've had our eyes on you, Katz.

-On me, sir?

-[Marshall] Mmm.

May I ask why?

You're one of us.

With your impeccable genetics,

you are the perfect specimen

for the colony I envision.

[chuckles]

Well, thank you, sir.

That's why the church,

I mean, um, company,

has chosen me

to lead this expedition.

The Earth's beyond saving

with all its muddy people.

But you,

you're something special,

and I'm creating a world

on a pure white planet

full of superior people.

Like you. And us.

Isn't that right, darling?

-Yes. Mmm. It's his vision.

-My vision.

-His sensibilities.

-Sensibility.

But let's be honest, with

your medical records in hand,

you ran to join our expedition

instead of

one of those pathetic planets

where they plant microchips

in their artificially

inseminated baby embryos.

You really are

the perfect candidate

for Niflheim's

natural child birthing program,

-aren't you, dear?

-[scoffs]

Mr. Marshall,

am I just a uterus to you?

No! No, no, no. [chuckles]

It's nothing like that, Kai.

No, this man is not one

to objectify women.

All my husband means to say

is he has very high standards.

His only dream is

of a planet exclusively

for a pure human race.

That consumes real crops,

and real meat,

and dinners with delicate,

delicious sauces.

Oh, sauce is the true

litmus test of civilization.

People who devour burnt meat

are barbarians.

Do try the sauce, Kai.

Here, I made it myself.

Oh. Thank you.

But first, I'd like to say a few

words in Jennifer's memory.

A prayer.

Always ready for a prayer.

Jennifer, when I first met you

at the cafeteria

four years ago...

[sniffles]

You were...

Dear Lord...

Jennifer Chilton's

one and only soul

was taken

from her wonderful friend, Kai.

Dear Lord...

-Jennifer Chi--

-Rejoice in the Lord

Our one and only

Almighty let us sing

For our Father's grace

Thank God, Almighty

Free at last

We're going

To the Promised Land

A sea of white

In your light

Your Kingdom

In front of our eyes

-Hallelujah, hallelujah

-Oh!

We serve

With our chosen hearts

-[retches]

-Medical.

Right here right now

Forever and ever

-Amen

-Amen

[Mickey 17 gasping]

Apologies, sir.

This is embarrassing.

The cultured meat

that he just ate

includes an experimental

growth hormone.

Obviously, it's still risky.

I'm so very sorry, sir.

[gasping continues]

You're sure it's not

because he was eating so much?

He was stuffing

his friggin' pie hole.

No, not quite, sir. You see

the red rash on his neck.

It's a side effect

of the growth hormone.

-Ah.

-[Arkady] I'm so ashamed.

I take full responsibility and

resign my position immediately.

No, no, no, not at all.

I mean, artificial meat is crap.

How are we

supposed to improve it

unless we fail upward

to perfection?

-No. Arkady...

-[Mickey 17 gasping]

...stand tall in your failures

like me, my friend.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

[Kai] Commander.

So you are testing out

your in-flight TV dinner on him?

In-flight TV dinner?

[Mickey 17 screaming]

Is that what the young troops

are calling it now?

Excuse me.

[Mickey 17 screaming, grunting]

Are you in a lot of pain?

[grunts] I'm being punished.

[gasping]

-What?

-[Mickey 17] It's my punishment.

I should've gone to Nasha

and not come here.

-[scoffs]

-[Mickey 17 groans]

Ew.

Dorothy, bring me Purple Joe.

Sir, you remember

the special painkiller

-we've been developing?

-[grunting]

Yeah, Purple Joe.

It's a quick fix

for injured agents, right?

Yeah. Since Mickey here

is in such awful pain,

it's a perfect opportunity

to try a little test, so...

-Give it to him.

-Great, all right.

[gasping]

[quiets]

[Arkady] Come on, Purple Joe.

[whispers] Okay, here we go.

-[bangs table]

-[groans]

Don't touch him, please.

-Mickey, can you see me?

-[grunting]

Mickey? Mickey!

-[man] Oh, sorry.

-Get back down there.

-[Dorothy] Mickey? Mickey?

-[glasses clattering]

[Ylfa] Oh, God. Oh, God.

[women scream]

[strained shouting]

-Oh, my God.

-Oh.

[continues shouting]

Oh. What do we do?

[shouting continues]

[screams]

Apologies, sir.

The painkiller's not working.

Oh.

[groaning]

[Arkady] Don't film this,

Preston. Please, turn it off.

[gasping]

[Marshall] This is better,

right? More humane.

[Arkady] Yes, sir. More humane.

-No, no, no. What are you doing?

-Huh?

You can't tear a hole

in my f*cking carpet.

[gasping]

Well, we'll just sh**t him

from the side.

But what about the blood?

This is a Persian Tabriz!

Honey, calm down.

sh**t now.

What the hell is going on?

This was supposed to be

a f*cking dinner!

He's your guest.

Agent Kai Katz, what the hell's

going on with you?

He's a meat matrix.

He's a g*dd*mn print job.

An Expendable.

He signed up for this.

Yes, sir.

[Marshall]

This is for our planet, agent.

I'm sorry, sir.

[Mickey 17] Commander.

[panting]

Please don't sh**t.

I'm okay now.

[Marshall] I don't think so.

He still seems

like he's in a lot of pain.

Of course he is.

[grunting]

Are you really okay?

Just... thank you for dinner.

-[gags]

-[Marshall sighs]

My room's just there. You need

to clean up and rest, Mickey.

[panting]

Don't worry about me.

I can walk.

I just need to get back

to my room. Nasha's about to--

Actually, we're going to mine.

[exhales]

[Kai] Here. It's dry.

I drink this

whenever I have a stomach ache.

It's from Earth. It's precious.

So I've been saving it.

But I made some for you.

-Thanks.

-Sit.

You know, Mickey,

I didn't want to ask you this.

But just this once, okay?

And I'm so sorry.

What's it like... dying?

You asking because of Jennifer?

Yeah.

We locked eyes

in the last moment.

What did she feel as all that

ice came crashing down on her?

I can't stop thinking about it.

Um...

I don't think it's what I--

what I usually feel. It's--

Well, I die so often...

Because you know you're

going to wake up again, right?

Because you die knowing that.

No...

I always feel scared.

It's terrible, dying. I hate it.

No matter how many times

I go through it, it's scary.

Still. Always, every time.

But you're here.

And Jennifer isn't.

Out there.

The entire universe.

She's nowhere.

You don't look like

you were printed out.

You're just a person.

Are you and Nasha open?

I have to go.

Nasha, please forgive me.

The guy that

you're having sex with...

[gasping] ...that's not me.

[gasping]

That's not me!

You m*therf*cker.

How dare you touch her!

[grunts]

[gasps]

17!

[door thuds]

I knew this would happen

at some point.

Wait, wait, wait. Stand-stand--

Stand next to each other.

Wait, take this off.

-[chuckles]

-What?

Yeah, I want you

to look the same.

[Mickey 18] Mmm.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

[chuckles] Oh, my God.

-[snorts]

-[laughs]

Nasha, uh, h-how can you

laugh right now?

This is a Multiples violation.

I'm-- I'm as good as dead.

Oh, come on! [chuckles]

When else am I gonna get this

chance? I mean, think about it.

You would be so psyched

if there were two of me.

[laughs]

This is "Mild Mickey."

And this is "Habanero Mickey."

[Nasha, Mickey 18 chuckle]

This is so exciting!

It's so different.

Nasha, you're different, too.

You don't seem like yourself.

[sniffs]

Oh, Jesus.

You just did Oxyzofol with him?

Just a teeny tiny bit,

with a ton of water.

Do you want some?

Yeah, yeah, relax.

Just take it easy.

Nasha!

This piece of sh*t

just tried to k*ll me earlier.

Right here in this room.

Look, I was bleeding.

Like you weren't thinking

of trying the same thing.

I saw you sneaking up behind me!

Hey, hey, hey, shut up. Shut up.

Now sit down.

Okay, attention.

From now on, I'm gonna feed

you both as often as I can,

so be good boys,

and don't fight.

Now, 18 tells me you guys

have sorted it out already.

Eat half, work half.

Alternating deaths,

evens and odds.

[chuckles] It's a great system.

Negotiation done,

so everyone just chill.

Okay?

[kisses]

[inhales]

Can you leave us alone

for a second?

Why? What's the problem?

[giggles]

God damn it, I'm leaving.

Oh, you're such a baby.

This guy needs some Oxyzofol.

[Nasha] You can relax.

[sighs]

[door thuds]

Is that the door?

Oh.

Oh, f*ck.

[gasping]

Kai!

Wait up, let's talk.

And talk about what?

I don't care

about your private life.

Okay. Fine. But what's up?

What's the rush?

Where are you going?

I just witnessed a Multiples

violation with my own eyes.

As an agent,

I have a duty to report it.

Okay, fine.

But since when have you

been coming to Mickey's room?

This is your first time, right?

What's up with you and Kai, bro?

Why was she here?

Oh, man.

What are we supposed to do now?

She's gonna go

straight to Marshall

-and report us, isn't she?

-[music plays]

You need to relax.

Nasha's handling it.

She can convince

anybody of anything.

[whistles]

Oh, my God. Besides...

this moron is busy

with his clown show.

...who wander in the dust

and lay them

on this beautiful, manly,

handsome, hunking...

This f*ck.

Such an attention wh*re.

...oozing with charisma...

rock!

And what did that as*h*le

serve for dinner?

Was it good at least?

You really wanna know

what went down at that dinner?

So, the one with 17

on his chest,

that's the Mickey

that was in my room just before?

Mm-hmm.

-And the one you were grabbing?

-[snorts]

He's 18, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

You can have 18,

and I'll take 17.

What?

There's two of them.

Why not share?

-One and only

-[Mickey 18 grunts]

So, let me get this straight.

You were sh1tting your pants

on the floor,

and he comes up and stabs you

in the neck with a syringe?

[off-key singing on tv]

That's what happened?

I wasn't, like,

sh1tting my pants.

I was just puking up

a little bit.

That's not the point!

I've seen you rubbing up

on Mickey every chance you get,

you f*ck.

You know, I've always wanted

to kick the living sh*t

out of you.

Nasha, come on,

I'm trying to be considerate.

Mickey 17

was about to double-dip,

-if you know what I mean.

-[inhales]

Move on from you to me.

In fact, we almost--

-Double-dip? Shut up!

-Oh.

Mickey is not some cookie

you can split in half.

17 and 18 are both Mickey.

Both my Mickey.

So, then after Marshall

f*ck you sideways,

you really let him

have it, right?

Right?

[off-key singing on tv

continues]

What did you say?

[stammering] I just said,

"Thank you for dinner."

[tv chatter continues]

You said what?

"Thank you for dinner."

Thank you for f*cking what?

For putting... [stammering]

...a g*n to your head

before he blows your brains out?

God, you're such a little b*tch!

f*cking loser! [growls]

-[exhales]

-[tv chatter continues]

I guess--

I guess I am kind of a loser.

What?

Is that what you are?

Huh? Is it?

Free at last

We're going

To the Promised Land

[music continues, indistinct]

[strained shriek, groans]

[on tv]

Hallelujah, hallelujah

It's not your fault.

-Amen!

-[cheering]

[Mickey 18]

Let's k*ll that f*ck.

This guy with the k*lling.

"k*ll this, k*ll that.

Why don't we k*ll everybody?"

You can stay here

and watch TV if you want.

Wait, wait, wait. [grunts]

You can't negotiate sh*t

with that attitude.

I mean, Jesus.

You're high on Oxyzofol.

[footsteps]

[Nasha] Mickey?

-Hey, what the--?

-[grunting]

[gasps]

-He-He has your g*n.

-[Nasha] g*n?

We have to stop him. [grunts]

What? Where's he going?

[cheering]

Why? Why,

why is Commander Marshall

cutting into that big,

beautiful, handsome rock?

[laser buzzing]

-[sputters]

-[yelps]

[grunts loudly]

-[all groan]

-Ooh!

-[all groan]

-Ooh.

[cracks]

Beautiful.

It's sleek, hot, exquisite.

-Exquisite.

-[cheering]

This is where our names

will be etched.

Mine and yours. And you!

-[cheers and applause]

-And you! And you! And you!

And you, my beautiful Ylfa.

Almost every single one of you

will be remembered

throughout history

as the proud founders

of Niflheim's first generation.

-Yes!

-[cheering]

-Our cornerstone black diamond.

-[hooting]

Beautiful, shimmering purity.

This rock will become the

symbolic monument of Niflheim,

the one and only

pure colony planet.

-The one and only...

-One and only.

Niflheim!

[together] The one and only

-Niflheim.

-The one and only!

The one and only!

[audio slowed]

[inaudible]

[chitters]

-[shouts]

-[chitters]

[Preston]

No, don't touch it, sir.

Maybe it's contagious.

[Marshall] It's contagious!

[scattered screaming]

[woman] You touch it, you die!

-Mickey?

-Everyone run!

-Stop! Stop!

-Mickey!

-Stop! Go back!

-Mickey!

Seal the exit!

Isolate the chamber!

[alarm ringing]

-[screams]

-[Marshall] Stay calm,

God damn it.

Sterilization.

Initiate stage one. Agents!

Into your hazmat suit!

-Arkady.

-[Arkady] Yes!

-Move your a*s.

-[Arkady] Okay!

[Marshall] Capture it!

Capture it alive!

It's here! It's here! That's it!

-That's it.

-[chittering]

Get it, get it, get it.

Get-- Get-- God damn it!

Hey, Expendable,

you don't need a hazmat suit.

Catch the g*dd*mn thing!

[imitates creeper chirping,

chittering]

-[Dorothy chirps]

-[creeper chitters]

Catch that thing now, you idiot!

Grab it!

Mickey!

Where's the other Mickey?

[grunts] I don't know!

Mickey, in here!

In here. Come on!

-[creeper thuds]

-Come on, we got it! We got it!

-[straining]

-[Nasha] No, no, no.

Take the g*n!

[grunting]

[Nasha] Mickey, no!

[b*llet whizzes]

Multiples.

[Nasha] Don't sh**t.

I've got him under control.

Don't sh**t.

[Marshall]

Yes. Calm down. Calm down.

We have everything

under control.

[Preston]

You rock, Marshall! Bravo!

Those lowlife Multiples have

ruined our precious symbol of--

-[chirps]

-[woman screams]

[chittering]

[squeals]

k*ll it!

-[Preston] Get down, sir.

-[chirping]

Open fire!

[squealing]

Sterilize me!

[squealing]

[squealing]

Arrest him. f*cking Multiples.

[gasping]

[squeals]

[deep grumble]

[wind howling]

[creeper grumbling]

Tell the Committee

you were aiming at the creeper

behind Marshall.

Otherwise, you could get

permanently deleted.

[sighs] f*ck that sh*t.

You really think Captain

Creampie's gonna let us live?

He's probably gonna

sh**t us himself.

[sighs] He's a nutjob.

Doesn't listen to anybody.

He's the biggest, dumbest nutjob

out of all the Mickeys.

And that's saying something.

[scoffs]

He screwed my entire life up.

[Mickey 18] Oh, really?

We all got f*cked the minute

you decided not to die

and came crawling home to mummy.

That wasn't my fault.

That was a creeper's fault.

Creeper?

Well, if that creeper's eaten me

like it was supposed to,

then we wouldn't be

in this situation,

but they all kicked me out

and now I'm a g*dd*mn Multiple.

They kicked you out?

Yeah.

They were all pushing me

and pulling me,

and I mean, they all threw me

back into the snow.

Maybe I don't look tasty enough

or I smell off.

I don't know.

Maybe if I was in

some kind of sauce.

[Nasha] Hold on.

You're telling me

they saved you?

Think about it.

You should have died

in that crevasse.

The creepers saved you.

Uh, yeah, I guess

if you put it like that...

they were sorta seeing me off.

Maybe I should have

said thank you.

Yeah.

I don't think

they were gonna eat you.

-Right?

-[chuckles]

[Nasha] Oh, my God. [chuckles]

We have to report this

to Science. They save humans.

Yeah. People need to know this.

They saved me.

[man grunting]

-[grunting]

-[clanks]

Hey. Where's the f*cking ladder?

You were supposed to bring

a f*cking ladder.

-I don't know--

-[grunting]

Look, here. Let me help.

Stop. Stop, stop, stop. Stop.

I'll do it myself.

I'm coming down myself.

Get the f*ck off.

-Come on.

-[Mickey 17] Hey, Timo.

What are you doing here?

Oh, wow.

You two really

are Multiples, huh?

But it's you. Yeah, I see it

in that schmuck face of yours.

You're the one

who gave me this. Right?

-[Mickey 18] Oopsie.

-[scoffs]

Here you go, guys.

You guys must be starving.

Thanks, man.

I knew you'd be coming for us.

[food clatters]

What are you up to?

What's all that?

[Timo sighs] So, um,

here's the thing.

I need to sh**t a video

and send it to Earth, ASAP.

Video? To Earth?

Yeah. Um...

It's for... [scoffs]

...Darius Blank.

Darius Blank. Who's that?

Found this at my door today.

It's written by hand.

It's beautiful handwriting.

This is from

Darius Blank's associate?

Yeah. His associate. [chuckling]

f*cking, his associate.

You know what I mean?

Like, of course.

Of course, the loan shark

of all f*cking loan sharks

would figure out a way

to send one of his guys

to follow us all the way here,

to Niflheim,

to where we are, right now!

That's like a million

f*cking miles from Ulaanbaatar.

You know what I'm talking about?

Do you know how far that is?

"No matter what pittance

you managed to scrape together,

we found that sending it

to Earth will cost you

an intergalactic transfer fee.

More than...

half the total sum."

The f*cking associate!

I have no idea who that is!

I don't know who that is.

Isn't that f*cking crazy?

"Send a visual work of art.

A video file that captures

the details of death."

[sighs] Read the back.

It says chop up into

a minimum of 13 pieces.

Chop up? What the f*ck is this?

Hey! What did I say

about the close-up?

Close-up is

more important, okay?

So, take the 32K camera,

and put it over here

for Mr. Darius Blank.

You understand?

[chain saw revs]

I'm sorry, Mickey.

Now, you see, it's all there.

Right? In the letter.

If I sh**t this video,

and I send it to him,

he'll let me live.

[saw sputters]

If I don't, they're gonna

send their guy,

and he's gonna k*ll me first.

What am I supposed to do?

Come on, dude.

If I die, that's it for me.

But you're an Expendable.

They'll just

print you right back out.

Please, Mickey, I'm your friend.

Okay, please, do this

for your friend. One time.

You gotta do this for me, man,

I'm your brother.

[sighs]

I'm sorry. [sobs]

I'm sorry.

[voice breaks] I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, sh*t.

Should have k*lled this guy

when we had the chance.

[sobs] You gotta just do this

for me this one time.

That's all I'm asking.

I'm so sorry.

Stop crying, you prick!

Getting on my f*cking nerves!

[sniffs]

Why don't you guys do

Rock, Paper, Scissors, okay?

And then we'll just

sh**t the loser, yeah?

No? All right. sh**t him.

Him?

Yeah, him.

I wasn't expecting that.

Thought you'd choose him.

-Yeah, you'd think so, but

the soft one is easier. Come on.

-Okay.

-[taser zaps]

-[grunting]

[body thuds]

[gate opens]

You're a dumb f*cking b*tch,

Timo.

If you do this, and

what's-his-face lets you live,

you think

that'll be the end of it?

You don't think I'll tear you

to f*cking pieces myself?

[Mickey 18] Oh, my God.

What is the big deal?

Aw, just take me instead.

Tie him up.

What?

Just chop me up, not him.

[sniffs]

Look at him.

Shot him one time with

the Taser, it's like he just

boofed a f*cking electric eel,

man.

But you can chop my whole body

up into ten Mickey chunks,

and I'll still be fresh

as the freshest sashimi.

Head held high.

Darius will love that.

I just need

a little of your help.

My help?

Um...

I kinda need more

of that... Oxyzofol.

[both laugh]

Yeah, I got some Oxy.

But undiluted.

[scoffs]

You want--

You want undiluted Oxy

right now?

Yeah.

Just think of it as the...

Think of it as the final...

cigarette before execution.

It's the least

you could do for a friend.

-Give him yours.

-What?

-Come on.

-No.

I'll give you a freebie

next time. You know me.

This was expensive.

-[grunts]

-[bangs cage]

-[taser shoots, zaps]

-[Mickey 18] The keys.

-[grunts]

-[groans]

[chain saw revs]

[Mickey 17] Nasha.

Don't.

Do it. [sniffs]

[gasping]

[man] Nasha, what are you doing?

What's going on here?

Nasha. Stay put.

-[revving slows]

-[sighs]

[Mickey 17, VO] That did

kind of shock me a bit.

I mean, she literally was gonna

cut his head off

with a chain saw.

Uh, but then, I thought about

it, and I was so... touched.

She's the only person who'd

ever lose it like that over me.

And it wasn't

the first time either.

[knocks on glass]

[Arkady] Hello? Can we help you?

[whispers] Nasha, just go.

-Take it off.

-Hey, hey, hey.

-I need to go in there.

-What are you doing?

Take it off.

I am going in there.

You've left him in there alone.

-[Arkady] But that's his job.

-[coughs]

[Nasha]

I don't care if it's his job.

[Arkady] Okay, look,

I'm gonna call security.

I don't know what else--

[Nasha]

I am security! Give me the suit!

[chuckles]

Threes, threes, threes.

-Arkady 3.0.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[chuckles]

[whispers] You're okay.

Shh.

[quiet gasping]

[Mickey 17, VO] Nasha,

she's the only one

who's always been there for me.

She's always loved me.

Every me.

Even him.

The me

I don't understand at all.

-[Nasha] What is this?

-[man] Oh, you don't know

about this.

They've been circling

the whole night.

And still more coming in.

What are they doing?

We don't know. They can break

through solid ice and stone.

Imagine if they all come

for this ship. Terrifying.

But it couldn't even

tear through the sack

at the cafeteria.

[squealing]

You hear that? It's coming from

the one we captured yesterday.

Keep going, keep going.

Wait, what-- You mean, the baby?

Well, yeah, it's been screaming

and crying like one.

And that's when

they all started gathering.

[Mickey 17] Wait.

-Hey.

-Mickey, don't stop.

That was--

That was the one that I...

-Keep moving.

-Never mind.

Hi! How ya doing?

[Arkady] Excuse me.

Come on.

Sorry, passing through.

Hey. Why did they set up

the Situation Room there?

Beats me. I was just told

to bring the prisoner.

[Arkady] Apparently,

Ylfa made a big scene.

She wants the creeper now.

[Nasha] Dorothy,

I have crucial information

about the creepers.

Mickey needs to file an official

report with the head of Science.

Oh, wait.

[imitates creeper chirping]

[imitates creeper chirping]

-[chirps]

-[chirps]

Yes. I knew it.

Yesterday, at the cafeteria,

when you held onto the baby,

I saw it.

You saw that?

I don't know what it means,

though.

Oh. So, you're just imitating.

Well, originally, I--

[Arkady] Dorothy, look alive!

It's really hectic right now.

Let's talk later.

We're recording their sounds

to see if we can analyze

any kind of pattern.

[announcer]

The Committee is declaring

a level three emergency.

Sole commanding control

has been granted

to Commander Marshall

by a vote of...

...36 to 21.

[baby groans]

-Thank you.

-Oh.

[chirps]

What an event. This is

a truly novel ingredient.

[screams]

This opens up a whole new world

of potential sauces.

Mm. It's such a great...

How should I put it?

Opportunity, ma'am. Yes, quite

the opportunity. Just super.

Yes, it is a super opportunity.

[creepers screeching]

Oh, wow.

It's such a godsend, too.

It is free from

harmful pathogens, correct?

Yes, ma'am, sure.

[coughing]

[footsteps continue]

Which dickhead is it? Mickey 18?

Keep his head still.

Now, I can tell you two apart.

Filthy Multiples.

Oh, yeah. That does seem fair.

Oh, goodness. Burnt meat.

Well, that's nothing, honey.

Wait until these two are

scorched sausages in the cycler.

How are you gonna handle

that stench?

I'm going as fast as I can.

[whispers] Mickey. I'm so sorry.

You two. This brick

stores your memories, right?

Now, you'll watch

as I permanently

delete your being from it.

That way you'll understand the

meaning and terror of finality.

No more reprints!

That's what you both

should be thinking when you die.

Dead forever!

Now that the memory is gone,

which body goes first?

One at a time is twice the fun.

-Creepy.

-[Nasha]

Commander Marshall, sir.

May I say a few words?

Regardless of who burns first,

a simple fact is,

we currently have

two Mickeys here before us.

Due to no fault on their part,

I might add.

One of them

is being falsely accused

of firing his g*n at you.

But the truth is, he was

concerned for your safety.

He was the first

to notice the second creeper

coming out of the stone

behind you,

and as you are well aware

-the day an Expendable

is printed--

-Enough.

You defending these idiots.

Should be mopping up

your own sh*t.

ill*gal possession of Oxyzofol.

Concealment

of a Multiples violation.

It's disappointing.

And attempted m*rder

with a f*cking chain saw?

[creepers chittering]

I mean, it's quite

the colorful rap sheet,

don't you think, Miss. Barridge?

[Marshall] Mmm.

The clouds of w*r are billowing.

Look at those vermin swarm.

Mankind must unite

at this critical juncture.

Why are we wasting our time

with these dregs of society?

Spoken like a true wartime

commander, sir. Very impressive.

[stammers] And a fine entry

to add to your collection

of battle quotes, if I may.

-[Marshall] You like that?

-I do.

-More of that?

-Please.

You keep mentioning that

we're in a state of w*r.

May I be so bold as to

offer two observations, sir?

Be my guest.

Firstly, fighting a w*r requires

a huge amount

of energy and calories.

Seeing as we're in

the early stages of settlement,

and our survival is

in the balance,

I wonder whether

this expenditure is prudent.

Secondly, our apparent enemies

are the creepers.

But do we know whether they

actually want to engage in w*r?

For hours they've been

swirling in circles

doing nothing but waiting.

My God, Agent Barridge.

You used to be a five time

Marshall Cup champion.

"Agent of the Month."

And now, you're sweating

over these alien insects?

How far you've fallen.

[chuckles]

What are you gonna do

when they tear a hole in

the ship and tear off your a*s?

These grotesque sh*t-gibbons.

Grotesque or not,

they are the native inhabitants

of this planet.

And we have proof

that they saved one of us.

They didn't eat him

or attack him.

Saved and not eaten whom?

Uh, me.

They saved me.

[laughs]

Of course they didn't eat you.

You're crap food.

You're recycled Spam baby.

You get chewed up and sh*t out

over and over and over again.

Well, I guess they aren't

just stupid bugs, honey.

I mean,

they knew to pass on crap, junk.

They must have

some cognitive ability.

[Dorothy] Exactly.

Actually, they exhibit signs

of high intelligence.

They may be able to engage

in meaningful conversation.

And we're analyzing this, and...

Sir, you must try communicating

with them yourself.

We're developing

a-a, um, a sort of translator.

[clicking]

Like that, you mean?

You think I'm an idiot?

-Uh.

-[low chitter]

[grunts, spits]

[gasps]

[creeper laughs]

[chuckling]

-[groans]

-[Dorothy gasps]

Four and a half years

across the f*cking galaxy,

just to hear

these g*dd*mn aliens squawk?

Tell me how the f*ck

that makes any sense! Somebody!

[Nasha]

How does this make any sense?

How does your bullshit

make any sense?

Your f*cking f*ck

is what really

doesn't make any f*cking sense

you f*cking idiot!

You call them aliens.

We're the aliens, dumbass.

They were living here before us,

and Mickey...

Mickey was always

just Mickey Barnes.

Do you even understand

what that means?

They were just

living their lives.

Before you came in

with your bullshit!

And you think you get to decide

who lives and who dies.

You are a dumb f*ck!

No wonder you blew

the elections,

you f*cking moron.

[baby chitters]

-[Nasha] No! No, no. No, stop!

-[squealing]

[Nasha] What the f*ck

is wrong with you?

You're hurting a baby!

[creepers grumbling angrily]

Bite.

What?

Falling in three, two, one.

-[grunts]

-[squeals]

Finally, she shut the f*ck up.

[muffled speech, panting]

This is clearly abuse,

one case after the other.

Rolling.

[Nasha panting]

[man in glasses] In 32K.

[boss]

Make sure you get everything.

-[Ylfa] Impressive teeth.

-[Marshall] Yeah.

We need more of our guys.

Sir, now might be the prime time

to initiate Total Extermination.

The ones out there alone

would be more than enough.

What are you talking about?

We're gonna gas 'em,

we're gonna gas 'em all.

[coughs]

What's that look for? Still not

confident in your failures?

No. No. Sir, Arkady 3.0

has gone through several

meticulous stages of testing.

Arkady 3.0

is the ultimate nerve gas.

I have every confidence

in it, sir.

As you should, Arkady.

This has to succeed.

I'll put it in my prayers.

This is the day

we've been waiting for, sir.

Future historians

will mark today as era-defining

for cleansing dangerous species

on colony planets.

Why don't you board

the flitter yourself later?

-You mean when we spray the gas?

-Yeah.

-I pull the trigger?

-Exactly, sir.

If you ride the lead flitter

and appear

to commandeer the operation,

the footage I get,

it will be historic.

And the members, the church

members back on Earth...

-Huh?

-They will adore.

[Marshall]

Yes, yes, the company.

All right. It's time we initiate

Operation Total Extermination.

Honey, can I

have a word with you?

Yes, my love.

I've got an idea.

I hope you both can appreciate

what a great honor my wife

is bestowing on you sh*t stains.

And so I can press

both buttons simultaneously?

Yes, sir. Press them, and

they'll go off at the same time.

They'll also explode

automatically

if they exit the range

of the remote control.

[Marshall] You hear that?

I have you by the ba*ls,

so don't even think

of running off.

You'll each be given a primitive

weapon as you head out.

You cut off as many

creeper tails as you can

and the first Mickey to bring

back 100 tails is the winner.

And the winner doesn't die,

but the loser goes...

-[humming] Boom!

-Boom!

[Arkady] Boom.

[Marshall]

We'll keep score from here.

Your job is to make them

scream so loudly

that every last creeper

comes running in to save them.

We'll k*ll two birds

with one stone, right honey?

Absolutely.

A hundred tails is enough

to make enough sauce

to last a couple years.

[Marshall]

Better be on your toes.

One false move,

and you're man-burger.

[thud]

I get it.

It's all punishment.

What was that?

Our entire life's

a g*dd*mn punishment.

All for pressing that button

when I was five.

Oh. This again! [scoffs]

Accident was caused

by a car defect, you know that.

I don't know.

Well, it wasn't pressing

that stupid button.

-It wasn't Mom's driving either.

-[creepers shrieking]

How many times I gotta tell you?

[snorting]

Sorry, Mickey-- Mickeys.

You need to move, like now.

Can you at least

put the ramp down?

We can't do that right now.

I'm sorry.

-You're gonna have to jump.

-Whoa!

[Dorothy] Mickey!

Mickey!

Wait, Mickey.

Take this.

It's not finished,

but it might help you

-communicate with the creepers.

-Let's go!

It's like a--

It's like a translator thing?

Yes. Good luck.

-For what it's worth, I doubt

Marshall will k*ll both of you.

-Come on.

Come.

-Let's go.

-Well, I...

Uh, anyway, with this device,

I got a job to do.

All right. They saved me,

now I save them.

What are those f*ck doing?

Even I can count dozens of fresh

tails they're leaving behind.

Are they out of their minds?

Oh, honey. [chuckles]

-Should I just press the button?

-Mmm.

Let's sit back and watch.

They'll start chopping tails

as soon as they realize

one of them

has to outlive the other.

[creeper grunts]

[Mickey 17] Hey!

It's me! Wait!

You gotta run away. You gotta

get them all outta here.

You gotta go back to your cave.

Go back to your cave.

[stammering]

Or you're all gonna die.

[chittering]

-[through translator] What?

-Oh, hello.

Um...

Yes, I just, I wanted...

About last time, I...

I wanted to say thank you.

Um...

You remember me, right?

[grumbles]

Mickey.

How do you know my name?

[grumbles]

Secret.

Wait, are they

having a conversation?

Yes. We already explained it

just now.

[Marshall] How is this possible?

Well, it's still a prototype,

but it's like

a translator device.

Dorothy? Oh, no.

Where's Dorothy?

I can't hear a thing

with all this static.

I mean, even the video is sh*t.

Apologies, sir. The snowstorm

is exacerbating the absorption--

What about this?

Will this detonator work?

Yes, sir. That is a special

shortwave signal,

so it'll be fine.

[Marshall]

And who's that big one there?

Is that the queen bee

of the bunch?

Mmm. Looks like a croissant

dipped in sh*t.

[laughs] Uh, official reports

are still being finalized,

but we think everything revolves

around that one,

the Mama Creeper.

So, that one's the boss.

Like you.

[grumbles]

Say what?

You gotta get outta here,

or they're gonna k*ll you

all with this death gas.

That gas, Arkady 3.0,

I got blasted with that.

It's seriously,

insanely painful.

Do you know what gas is?

Gas. Like...

[coughing] Like gas?

[grumbles]

Mind your own business, stupid.

[Mickey 18] Mind my own

business? What about you?

Why'd you save him at the cave?

[grumbles]

Should k*ll him?

No. No.

I'm-- We're very grateful.

That's all.

Then why?

Why k*ll Luco?

Uh, Luco?

[grumbles]

Baby Luco.

Oh.

You group. Shattered.

Blood.

Yeah...

Oh, that's...

That's Luco.

[grumbles]

We save you.

[grumbles]

[slowly] You k*ll Luco.

[chittering]

So, what's the name of the other

baby? The one in the ship.

[grunts] Zoco.

k*ll Zoco too?

What if Zoco dies?

What will you do?

[low growl]

Death.

All.

You mean all humans.

[screeches]

-Extinction.

-How?

[roars] Easy.

[deep pulsing roar]

[all creepers screeching]

[screeching continues]

[pulsing roar continues]

-[Mama Creeper] Cover your ear.

-[pained groaning]

But eyeball explode.

Brain explode.

All of you.

[screeching continues]

[grunts]

Nasha!

Nasha!

[chittering, screeching]

Nasha!

Nasha! Look at me!

Look at my mouth.

[Marshall] What's wrong with

them? What's wrong with him?

And they're saying something.

What is that idiot saying?

It's not sign language.

C3!

C3!

C... 3?

3?

C3? What's C3?

[muffled] C3?

[gong rings]

Bring the baby.

[Mickey 17] Bring the baby.

Bring the baby. [gasps]

If we don't bring her back,

we're all gonna die.

Honey, this doesn't

sit well with me.

Why are those two losers

chatting

with the boss of the bugs?

They think they're negotiating

on behalf of mankind--

humankind?

You should be

standing out there, sir,

ushering in

this historic moment.

You're seeing two bosses meeting

face to face

in a climactic snowstorm?

A moment of destiny?

[Preston] All you have to do

is go out there.

I know I can create

an iconic scene.

A decisive moment in the history

of the Niflheim settlement.

-Bring the baby.

-[Ylfa] I can picture it now.

Adorning the ceiling and

the walls of the grand chapel.

[Preston] Yes, ma'am, yes.

And one final touch, sir.

I think it would be great

if you give them a message

before spraying the gas.

[Marshall] A message?

Without such poignancy, today

would be a third-rate carnival

where we spray cheap pesticide

over c*ck.

Yes, they are disgusting,

filthy, evil insects,

but it will be

their last moment,

and you could offer them

a few merciful words

as a proper farewell,

like a wise, benevolent priest.

Get me a camera crew.

-Tell the first squad

to meet me fully armed.

-Yes, sir.

My love, the Situation Room

is yours. Till we meet again.

[gasping]

C3. Nasha will know

what it means.

It's a whole thing.

I'm gonna get Zoco back safe.

I mean it.

[grumbling]

Not enough.

What else?

[grumbles]

We lose Luco.

[grumbles]

One.

[grumbles] Be fair.

Be fair? Like we have

to contribute a death?

Yes.

Fair.

One of yours. Die.

So, if we bring back Zoco safe,

and a human dies...

[grumbles] Peace.

Drive.

[Preston] You hear me?

Camera crew, unit three,

do you copy?

Okay, the radio signal's

a little patchy right now,

so the car speaker will be

our direct line of comms.

Unit two, do you copy?

Our orders are to safely escort

Commander Marshall--

No one told you to sh**t!

Do not agitate the creepers!

Pipe down.

We're not here to film you.

Really great.

Okay, right after

your speech, sir,

we'll close the canopy at once,

and that'll be the signal for

the air squad to spray that gas.

Glorious annihilation, sir.

[panting]

You. Yes, you. Come here,

what's your name? Matthew?

Oh, Matthew, you have the face

of an angel. Here, try my sauce.

There you go.

Tell me what you think.

[man] Oh! Nasha!

[Ylfa screams]

[man] No! No! Stop!

Hold! She's primed

for spinal fracture.

I'm gonna break

this b*tch's neck.

No, no, no.

Take it easy. Take it easy.

One snap and it's instant death.

[strained grunts]

Nasha Barridge,

what do you want?

[groans] The baby. We have to

take it to the mama.

-That's all?

-Yes.

Guarantee us a safe exit.

Unless you wanna

see me break her neck.

[Ylfa chokes]

-[man] No. Nasha, please don't.

-[groaning]

Look, we secure Nasha's exit,

as negotiated.

Nasha,

can you release her carefully?

[Nasha] I'm gonna get the baby.

Be careful.

[man] Nasha, are you okay?

[Nasha] I need to hurry.

Can I get a flitter?

[man] I doubt it.

You'll have to run.

Arrest that f*cking b*tch!

Ma'am, today you

and the commander have displayed

an impressive range of verbal

and physical abuse

and acts of cruelty

that far exceed

your granted authority.

You wanna be ex*cuted

for mutiny?

All video evidence of abuse

will be presented to the

Committee for review. [strains]

I suggest you have answers

prepared for your hearing.

-Thanks, Zeke.

-[baby cooing]

Maintain control onsite.

[warbling]

When we're within 100 feet

of the Mama Creeper, sir,

we'll start

slowly circling the creature.

-That'll be the cue

to begin your final speech.

-Yes.

The other camera will track

alongside you from the outside,

making the scene

absolutely spectacular, sir.

I'll keep my speech

short and tight.

A marvelous address.

No need to edit.

And then I blow up the Mickeys.

Un bouquet final.

You can do this, Nasha.

We'll get things

under control inside.

-Open the gate.

-Okay.

-[Nasha] See ya.

-[Zeke] Good luck!

[grunts]

[Mickey 17] Nasha's gonna

figure this all out.

Zoco will be back safe.

Who is that?

Who's coming?

Oh, sh*t.

[screeching]

[Mama Creeper roaring]

Wow.

[Marshall] Wait.

What is this bullshit?

[roaring]

[Marshall]

Which one's the mama?

What the f*ck

am I supposed to be looking at

when I make my speech?

I was gonna send them off

with some dignity.

Now those barbarians

can f*ck off!

-Is that bazooka ready?

-Yes, sir. Loading now.

We're gonna blast

that mama b*tch into oblivion.

Who needs a f*cking speech?

I'll go hard, honey.

That's the mama there, sir,

can you see it?

It has a different shape.

[Marshall] Yes, it's her. Aim!

-It's not her, dumbass!

-[grunts]

[soldier] Sorry, sir.

[chittering]

[gasps]

Mickey!

Nasha! Nasha!

[stampede rumbling]

Mickey?

[mama roaring]

[grunts]

[roaring, chittering]

Time to say goodbye.

What?

Blast at the nearest pile!

Tear through them all until

we get to the mama. Smash them!

Camera, make sure

to get the blood and guts.

Wait. That one there.

sh**t that one first.

It's bigger.

Fire!

-Fire now!

-[soldier] Yes, sir.

[low rumble]

Fire!

No, sir, the b*mb vest!

Head shot, you f*cking idiot!

No! No, sir. It's too close!

[shots exploding]

[g*nf*re echoes]

[soldier] Wait, sir! Stop, wait!

[shouts]

[gasps]

No, where-- Oh, my God.

[Nasha] Mickey!

Nasha! Hey!

I knew you would make it.

Is the baby okay?

[gasping]

[Marshall] No, no, no.

What's going on?

Look!

[Mickey 17] We have Zoco!

Nasha brought her back.

Look.

[grumbles]

Uh, Nasha,

Zoco's okay, right?

[Mickey 18] Hey!

Are you seeing this?

One human! [grunting]

[gasps]

[Mickey 18, Marshall, grunting]

You're also afraid.

We're both afraid.

[exhales] Yeah, I'm afraid.

[Marshall]

It means you're human.

You're important.

Come to me, my boy.

[click]

[creepers shrieking]

[sobs]

[sobs]

[exhales shakily]

[fire rumbles]

[mama grumbles softly]

[pigeon man] Okay, guys...

Guys, don't be shy. If you could

sit down. Take your seats.

The groundbreaking ceremony

will come later,

but we'll start

with the Expendable stuff.

Mickey. Mickey,

come up to the front, mate.

Could someone

please sit in the front row,

you f*cking introverts?

Hello, everyone.

I'm Nasha Barridge,

member of the Committee.

-[cheers and applause]

-[chirps]

[Nasha] After weeks of debate,

we have finally come

to this momentous day.

The day we abolish

the Expendables program.

I would like to thank

my fellow Committee members

for their support.

I've been really

feeling the love.

And especially,

for fighting right to the end,

and persuading the Committee

to permanently

abolish human printing...

I would like to thank

our very own Mickey Barnes.

[light cheers and applause]

And to be fair,

I'm just so f*cking happy

I get to grow old with Mickey.

It was really sucking

getting old by myself. Okay.

[scattered chuckles]

Despite the hours of

peaceful discussion...

All right.

So, you hit the button.

-Mm-hmm.

-Wait.

Nasha will give the signal.

You hit the button.

Wait. And then over there, boom.

Do I get up and press it or--

No, in my seat, right?

I honestly couldn't give a f*ck.

[Nasha] Henceforth,

on Niflheim as on Earth,

human printing is now

permanently abolished.

[cheers and applause]

Here today, the human printer

will be burnt to ashes

and erased from memory.

[Mickey 17, VO]

Nasha's such a natural.

I think she could even run for

Committee chair next election.

Blows my mind still to think

that this amazing woman

just six months ago was rotting

with the rest of us

in that shitty prison.

[inaudible dialogue]

[Mickey 17, VO] The day

Marshall got blown to dust,

Ylfa went into shock and was

taken to the psych ward.

Rumors went around

that she slit her wrists there.

Everyone else involved

was shoved into jail.

And somehow lucky Timo

squeezes out on parole.

But as soon as he got out,

he spent every day

dreading the moment

he'd come face to face

with the man

who delivered the letter.

The associate of Darius Blank,

who one day finally jumped him.

[groans]

[Mickey 17, VO]

It was a fight to the death.

In the end,

the associate

became, uh, cycler soup.

Except for one ear.

Even at the trial, Timo

chooses to represent himself.

[Timo laughs]

As he had his grip on me,

he brought his knife around

to my mid-section right here,

and he sliced...

[Mickey 17, VO] And he got

released on self-defense.

Classic Timo.

But our trials on the other

hand, were never-ending.

-Damien, sit down! Sit down!

-[crowd clamoring]

Became a whole political fight

between all the pro-Marshalls

and the anti-Marshalls.

But by then,

Nasha had made up her mind.

She'd overhaul the Committee,

and change it herself.

So after she got out, she

really did run in the election.

And she won in a landslide.

On her first day

in the assembly,

Nasha was so cool

about the whole thing.

I was very, very nervous.

I don't think

she really noticed, though.

Mickey. I've got the upgraded

translator. Just came out.

[beeping]

Okay, let's be fair,

can I ask you a question?

[translator chittering]

Go.

[Mickey 17]

What you said before,

about extinction and all that,

when you were all like...

[imitates rapid chittering]

...and like screeching

and everything.

Mmm.

Would that really

make our brains explode?

From like the pitch?

[grumbles]

Explode.

-[babies chirping]

-[Mickey 17] But you said...

...that our eyeballs

would explode.

Mmm. Why not our eardrums?

'Cause it's like sound.

[grumbles]

All explode.

-[babies chirping]

-Really?

Well, can you try it right here?

Right now?

[baby creeper chittering]

[screeching]

[grumbles]

[laughing]

-[scattered chuckles]

-[baby burps]

[Mickey 17, VO] Who said

bluffing was only for humans?

Gotta love that, uh,

poker face.

Yeah and nice burp, too.

[footsteps]

[tools rattle]

Uh, hello.

What are you doing here?

In the middle of the night.

Well, I just...

I thought you were

in the hospital all this time.

Hey, watch it. Look down.

Don't step on it.

It's a priceless delicacy, that.

Go on. Take a dab.

Have a taste.

Oh, what? Now you're too good

for sauce off the floor?

You think anyone else

would allow scum like you

to taste something so refined?

What is-- What is it made of?

Rude! Not how it works.

A taste of faith comes first,

then I tell you what's in it.

Mickey, you don't think

I'm letting you taste this

out of some high regard

for your palate, do you?

It's the opposite.

A true masterpiece

would be a sauce

that could appeal to even

an ignorant cretin like you.

[scoffs] Whatever. f*ck it.

Taste it, waste it,

I don't care.

You're worthless now.

Much better to bring back

my usual taster,

the supreme one

with an actually refined palate.

[machine rumbles]

Wait, that's...

Even his kidneys

are more handsome than you.

Not this. It can't be.

[coughing]

Of course it can.

-Admit it, it's what you want.

-[gasping]

-It's what everyone wants.

-[coughing]

Hey Ylfa.

I just remembered.

You died the day after Marshall.

Go ahead, touch me.

See if I'm ghost or human.

[Mickey 17, VO]

Ever since I was a kid,

I've had scary dreams.

This time I wasn't scared.

I just thought to myself,

"What would 18 do?"

f*ck off.

[cheering]

What are you doing?

Press the button.

Mickey. Press it.

Do it.

[beeps]

[Mickey 17, VO]

I am glad the printer's gone,

but a part of me

can't help feeling guilty

that I didn't let all the other

Mickeys have a chance at life.

But I have to

stop feeling guilty.

[woman in crowd] Mickey!

[Mickey 17, VO]

It's okay for me to be happy.