03x20 - It's a Wonderful Tiny Toons Christmas Special

[bunniefuu]

We're tiny, we're toony We're all a

little loony And very, very soony

Christmas will be here We're comic

dispensers We crack up all the sensors

This tiny soon sensors We're so special

you've got cheer So here's at me acres

It's a wonder, let us know Sleigh bells

ring, tunes first sing We need the

mistletoeThe

story has been lifted On Tiny Toon

Adventures Let's start the show! They're

furry, they're funny They're Bess and

Buster funny Montana Max has money

Almira is a pain Here's Santa, let's

Lucky Disney Devil's yucky We're ba*ls

and lucky And Gumbo is insane! At

Active University We trim the Christmas

tree Get the holes and guess what falls

and angles naturally We're tiny, we're to

me We're all a little loony On Tiny Toon

It's our Christmas show

To Grandma's house we go

Please help Buster! He's my best

friend! Something's smother with

Buster! Shut it in! Don't

let anything bad happen to Buster.

So listen, about Buster...

Hey, do you mind?This is private!

Who cares about Buster?Not me.

Please stay care of him! I beg you!

Otherwise, dining room will be jacksless.

I'll have to work on some... chipmunkshow!

Please help, buster!

Uh, it's time for me, sir?Harvey, you're

going to have to go down to Acme Acres.

Buster Bunny's thinking of quitting Tiny

Toons. But why is he going to do that?

Poor kid. He thinks he's a failure.

Errings, Buster Bunny. Aye, nice snack.

He doesn't look like a quitter. Well,

this is a flashback from earlier today.

Christmas Eve. We're on an

absolutely perfect snowy hillside

For an absolutely perfect funk of sled

ride The snow's an absolutely perfect

shade of white On this absolutely perfect

Christmas night All the Schmagoos

down in Schmagooville Oh, what a

positively pretty sloper snow play

On this positively pretty perfect

holiday It's absolutely, positively

pretty hard to believe It's such a

positively pretty Christmas Eve

Sleep, sleep, flawless Sutterly wondrous

Totally stupendous Absolutely

perfect Christmas Eve

Hi, ya, Holiday Toonsers. I'm Buster

Bunny. And I'm Babs Bunny.

No relation. Welcome to our Tiny Toons

Primetime Holiday Spectacular with

celebrity guest stars galore. What's

going on here?Cut. I need

a neck rub. Where's Carlos?How dare

you start rehearsals without me! Monty,

you're late! I was staying in Aspen with

Morgan Fairchild. I had a mishap. Where's

my part?Sir, who's the kid with the big

head?Montana Max, richest

and neatest tune in acne acus.

Don't you want to kiss me under the

mistletoe, Monty wants the cute cuddly

boyfriend's head?I'd rather eat dog

food, queen! Who are these

losers?Are they the celebrity guest stars

you promised us?These are the TV

executives who are allowing us to do this

primetime special.

Hello. Buy yourself a real

network.

Ew, he's smart. He's a smart young man.

We'll take charge. I like him. Monty,

I didn't think you'd show up. So what?

So, he wrote you out. What?!

Money!

Oh, I understand. My faux pas,

go on with your little holiday skits.

Don't mind me... Don't mind me...

ruining it. All

right, let's move on to... to Lucky the

Rigby's Reinducks.

Lucky, didn't you get the rewrites?The

new pages are yellow, see?Now it's Urkel,

the red-nosed rain dude.

Cute me. Let's do the Eberneezer sneezer

sketch. Hey, hi. I'm the ghost of

Christmas past. I'll tell you, I've seen

so many past Christmases, I gave

candle-riding lessons at the three of

wives milk.

Bogo, you got the new Yellow Pages?Sure.

and a half, couldn't I?This'll spice up

your act of an eezer sneezer. I'm

scared of you, ghost. Hey, this

kid's cuter than those twins on that

Saget show.

Now this is good. You are

so lost, Edward. Yes, I am.

But let's be everyone.

Cut. Starting to get the idea, Harvey?

Yeah, a little mouse should use a tissue.

You're supposed to be watching the Blue

Rabbit. Oh. Uh,

could I offer some unsolicited criticism?

Certainly. Get it together!

Okay, moving on. Ta-da!

Plucky, the lonely fruitcake nobody

wanted for Christmas. Pink pages, Plucky.

Now it's Urkel, the lonely fruitcake.

Oh, great. Now the pages are pink. What

next, the color purple?I do not look like

James Dean. Could you put my collar up

higher and put more grease on my hair?

Take that with your eyes stubborn in a

show about zip codes. Places where the

Shira Shira likes dents.

Wow, you look great.

Thanks, I need it. That costume's

perfect. Ah, this old thing.

I only wear it when I don't care how I

look. Thank you, Mr. Sensitive.

I'm the ice...

Look at Buster flirt with her. How can

you stand it?Oh, he's not. I

don't care. Ha! Admit it, Babs.

You're jealous. I am not!

But can you blame me if I

am?

They say we share a share alike That

means I borrow whatever bass will lend

I share with you, you share with me But

that doesn't mean I loan you, my

boyfriend Yeah,

I share with you, Beth Acme, piranhas.

I share with you But Buster's not up for

grabs Share You share

and I share Just 'cause it's Christmas

You share and I share

Cut! Your new girlfriend fell through the

ice. Hey! I

love this! Eat your heart out, Bob

Mackie! Anybody wanna

move on?Oh, what a guess. Orange

pages?Maybe chartreuse?

You're our little drummer, Duck.

I am?Oh, thank you, thank you!

Prepare yourselves for a dynamite

performance, executives! You'd better

believe it, Duck.

Come, they told the Duck,

pa-rumpa-pum-pum. Pa rum, pa

pum, pa rum. Pa pum, pum.

Cut?Oh, it's over. Cut!

I quit.

Like everybody quits. That?Oh, Buster,

why don't you just--

I gave up at the Cosby Family Christmas

to do this. Boy, I'll tell you, this is

worse than that road picture... Beam me

up, Santa. What?!

Bontana Max is now in charge of the Tiny

Toons Prime Time Holiday Spectacular!

Sorry I failed you guys.

Ah, come on, Buster.

Like, I've never seen Blue Boy that down

before. What did we do?Maybe we should

medicate on this awesome junk. She means

price. That's what she means.

So, Harvey, this is where we came in. Any

questions?Uh, yeah.

How come he's not wearing any pants?

Harvey. Oh, no, it's worse than I

thought. Buster's about to throw himself

out of the picture.

Uh-oh. Goodbye, cool sirs.

I'm out of here. What are you waiting

for, Harvey?Go.

Is that your punchy cord, pal?

Phew! Thanks, Luster. No problem.

Hey, how'd you know my name?I'm your

guardian, too, angel. Yeah, and

I'm Frank Capra. See ya around.

Thinking of throwing yourself out of the

picture, eh

So what if I am?Who cares?I wish I was

never on Tiny Toons.

You got your wish. There's no Buster

Bunny on Tiny Toons. You're

nuts. Warners would never let me out of

my contract.

What are you, Tacobia Myers?You're

waitin' for me. I, I, I, I told

ya, I'm your guardian Toon Angel, and

Buster Bunny, this is your cartoon...

without ya. Montyville?

Yeah, yeah, you see, without you around,

Monty was put in charge of everything.

What is this, some kind of practical joke?

You're d*ck Clark, right?No, no, and

I'm not Ed McMahon, either. And you're

not the star of Tiny Tooth. Throw me.

Well, it's not pretty. It never is.

I'm tiny, I'm toony I'm just a little

loony And every afternoony I'm invading

your TV I'm Babsy I'm Lucky I

work with him, I'm Lucky For tiny tunes I

won the best performance by a duck down me

And I'm a zany mega-star And there's lots

of other tiny tunes But who cares who

they are?He's Plucky the Mallard He's

Bunnier Dente Ballard It's tiny to an

adventure's coming, run, duck, fun!

And now my song is done!

Hiya, holiday ducksters! I'm Plucky Duck!

And I'm Bat's Bunny! No relation.

Whoa! How could we be related?He's a

duck, I'm a rabbit! I don't get it!

Then get this!

Now that's funny! Today's

theme is, once again, ducks. I hate

my life. Let's say buh-bye to my

co-hosts, 'cause in today's show, I'll be

playing all the parts. Stop!

You can't drop an anvil on Babs. What are

you, goofy?No, I'm Plucky Duck, and I

resent that comparison. Say, what are

you, a spy from Disney?Plot!Don't you

know me, Pluck?No, and I refuse to

fraternize with riff-raff and boys.

Remove this rabbit.

Nice try, Katzenberg.

Come along, bimpy bunny boy.

Sneezer, you've got to know me?Name's

Sneezer. Hit the road!

I feel like I'm in a bad episode of

Quantum Leap. Well, join the

club. Acme

Lu, my Almy Mater. Somebody will remember

me in there for sure.

Is it me, or shouldn't it have caught on

by now?Hey,

wait a minute. Montana Mac is Business

University. And now, a

word from Montana Mac. Good afternoon,

anonymous students of Monty Lu. As you

know, it is Christmas Eve, and in respect

of that, I'm offering you a shorter day.

Only 18 hours of class. As for me, I'm

heading to Aspen with Morgan Fairchild.

Later, losers!

Ah, thank goodness, my homeroom. This is

where I learn wild comedy cakes. It's not

funny in there anymore.

How can I become a successful actress?

Just wear your underwear on the outside

and Warner's will give you a

multi-million dollar deal.

Disturbing, isn't it?I don't

get it. Oh, brother...

Let me spell it out nice and plain.

You were never on Tiny Toons! You

never insisted, and everything is

different now! Get it?Got it.

Good. If I

never existed... What about--

Babs?Yeah. I mean, she still

has tiny tunes. But does she have-- I

mean, does she go with, uh.. You

want to know if she's replaced you?

Kinda. Well, find out for yourself. She's

down there.

Merry Christmas, Petunia. I will

be a present for you. The

moon.

Bye. Ah, my little pupon. We will

bring in the new year together.

Double sigh. Wish I

had a co-star who cared about me.

Hello. Hi. I'm, uh,

Buster Bunny. Hi. I'm Beth's

Bunny. No relation. Hey,

that's the first time that ever made

sense! Do I know you from

somewhere?Yes! We're the stars of

Tiny Toon Adventures! You're

crazy! Lucky is the star!

Who are you?You're stalking me! Get away!

Leave me alone! Had enough?

Yeah, yeah, say, Buster, you really have

had a wonderful cartoon show.

I take it back. I wanna be on Tiny Toons.

Please let me back. Yeah, well, I'll see

what I can do. We gotta wait a couple of

minutes, though. Why?

Commercials. Oh.

I wanna go back. I wanna be on TinyToons!

You can't just leave! Take me back!

Buster! Fat! Do you know who I

am?Buster, this is no time for some tired

American Express card parody.

Yippee!

Somebody call my chiropractor.

Merry Christmas, you great, big,

beautiful Acme Hickers, you.

Buster! Yippee!

You gotta admire his spirit.

Happy holidays, you radiant radical, you!

Happy Hanukkah, you magnificent mogul,you!

Season's greetings, you awesome audience!

Feliz Navidad, you pretty planning you!

Noel, to you!You,

Luscious Looniversity, you, okay, we got

it. Let's go, laughing boy. Monty's

special, really... Stinks! It

stinks! It stinks! Away to the bank, I

drove in a dash. I opened the CD and

deposited cash. You call that funny, hmm

I like it, don't you?He is

so lost. Yes, he

is. I quit! I don't

want to play Leona Helmsley!

I found him!

Does that mean I have to put him in my

shoe?No. You're

fired!Buster,

you're rehired!

Our prayers are answered!

Don't worry, Monty. There's a part for

you. You're the star.

Gee, the star!

Okay, guys, let's set up for the finale.

You got it, babe!

That reminds me. I'm still mad at you.

What were you whispering to her about

anyway?Well... He wanted to know what to

get you for Christmas. Oh.

So, uh, what'd she suggest, a tattoo?

No, this.

Oh.

Uh, speaking of gifts, what'd you get me?

The greatest gift of all, my dear.

The gift of charity. Hobbs is here

for comic relief.

If troubles come our way To spoil the

holiday It doesn't really matter 'cause

it's youIf you deck the horse,

an anvil fall. It doesn't really matter

'cause it's you. If the holiday sheet

gets eaten by the dog, and you're able to

tell to you, I guess the egg won't knock.

If it's New Year's, even you're too

muzzled bound to dance. And all you got

for Christmas is dark, and

then they're pants. Boy, I tell you. It's

hard it doesn't matter 'cause it's you.

It's the Christmas tree's pathetic.

And the time you sign it's headache! It

doesn't really matter 'cause

it's you! Hey, get me down from here! Uh

I don't wanna be the star! Get me, baby!

And if you ever feel like a loser again,

Buster Buddy, remember... Don't tune

in about your friends!