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03x16 - Sports Shorts

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Tiny Toon Adventures". Aired: September 14 – December 6, 1992.*
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Cartoon set in the fictional town of "Acme Acres", where most of the Tiny Toons and Looney Tunes characters live.

03x16 - Sports Shorts

Post by bunniefuu »

We're tiny We're toony We're all a little

loony And in this cartoony, we're

invading your meeting We're comic

disasters We've got them all in sensors

Our tiny two adventures get a dose of

comedy So here's at the acres, it's a

whole wide world apart Our homes, we only

stand alone like cartoon works of art

Let's rest, we're rejected Expect the

unexpected

They're furry, they're funny

They're thousand busted funny Much had a

match as money And my wreck is a pain

He's hunting and plucky Disney, devil,

yucky Purple's on yucky And go-go

is insane And at the university, we

earn our two degrees We're teaching cash

and getting last since 1938 We're

tiny, we're too many We're all a little

loony It's tiny, too, differences come

and join the fun And

this time.

Up and at 'em, Tubesters! Today, we're

getting physical with a rousing duo of

sports cartoons.

Yahoo! All right! Oh, boy.

We've gotbaseball, football, hockey, hang

diving, lawn bowling, speed sh**ting,

tennis, and deep sea diving. Ow!

And let's not forget the most important

piece of equipment for the modern sports

enthusiast.

Big screen TV!

Punch up the sports channel.

Ah, I remember my very first time on

the lynx. Never say lynx in the presence

of a pig. Oh. Sorry, Hemi.

Ah, those were the good old days. Just

me and my dad.

So, Plucky, are you all set to play

miniature golf?Yes. Wanna play

miniature golf?

Miniature golf?This one.

Mr. Golf. I wanna hit the ball down the

hole. All right, then. Here's

your putter, and here's your ball. No

red. Want blue. Don't want red ball.

Want blue bar. Okay, okayHang

on. Don't want red ball, want blue ball.

Don't want red ball, want blue bar. Blue

bar. Not red-blue. I don't want blue bar.

Blue bar, blue, blue, blue.

Want blue. Eat your heart out!

Plucky, Plucky, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Calm down, calm down. Here, look, look

There's a blue ball. Huh

Blue ball. My blue ball.

It's blue! It's not red,

it's blue. My blue ball.

I'm happy that you're happy, son. Come

on, let's go play. Wanna play Minister

Golf?Wanna hit the blue

ball down the hole.

Okay, son, here's the basic idea.

You place the ball here, stand

over it like so, swing the

putter, and hit it. It goes down the

ramp, into the candy house,

Hoops down a slide, rolls across

the green, and into the hole.

Hey, a hole in one! Hole in

one! Exactly!

Now it's your turn. It's my turn.

I hit the blue ball down the hole. Huh

Get set, go! I hit it!

I hit the ball! Good, son.

Now hit it again.

I hit it again!

And again!

And again!

Daddy is helicopter.

Where?I hit it again!

One hit the ball down the hole. No,

No noYou have to hit it harder, son.

Harder. Harder still!

No! Hit it really hard! I

hit it hard! I hit it hard! I hit it

hard! Goal

in one! Nice shot,

son! All

right, Plucky, watch closely now!

Darn it, I missed!Okay, kiddo,

your turn. Mark, get set,

go! Darn it, I missed.

Darn it, I missed. Darn it, I missed.

Darn it, I missed. Darn it, I missed.

Look, Daddy. It's blimp.

Where?I hit it again!

Now aim carefully, Plucky. I hit it

hard. No, stop!

Uh, okay, son. Now hit it.

Rubaku down the hall! Rubaku down thehall!

Congratulations, son! You're

going to be an only child!

Now, if you don't swing at just the right

time, Pluggy, those barrels will knock

your ball away from the hole.

See?Yes, sir. Okay,

you try.

Steady. Rocket ship.

Oh, no. I'm not falling for that again.

Just hit the ball. Yes, sir.

Mark, back, set, go.

Lucky! You did it! A hole in one! I

did it! Hole in one!

I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!

My blue ball go down the hole!

Nice job. Now it's my turn. Yes,

sir. Daddy!

You hit the ball down the hole. Hole

in one, Daddy.

I knew I should have entered the

praise-hood.

All right, this is the last hole, Plucky.

Thank heavens.

But on this hole, son, the ball doesn't

come back. Ball no come back?

Nope, it doesn't come back. So

say bye-bye to the nice ball.

Bye-bye. It's over, son. All

done. We gotta go. So say bye-bye.

Bye-bye, ball. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye, ball. My blue

ball.

My blue ball went down the hall.

Mark. That's it. Go.

AhLet's go home, Plucky.

Stop right there, because you are the

winner of our super grand prize:



miniature golf. I did it! Yeah!

I did it!

My blue ball came back!

Ah, those were the days.

Okay, Mr. Flashback. You're up. Sink

this pot and you win the match. Oh,

right. Hey, look, guys!

Isn't that Julia Roberts?

My ball go down the hole.

Let's see. It covers the Earth like an

ocean, and below its surface, we are

just visitors. But visit we shall,

here on The Undersea World, the

Fifi.

Let the show begin!

Here on board the Calliope, our

experienced crew prepares to investigate

one of the sea's great wonders. They may

still use sea monkeys.

The legend of the sea minky is not new.

Their image was found in Egyptian

hieroglyphics. It was recorded in

medieval manuscripts, and their

legend continues in great contemporary

literature. And although we could

buy sea minkys like anybody else, we

chose instead to spend millions of

dollars on a big boat to see them for

free. Bad boy!

Do not worry. It's bio-degradable to

search for these aquatic apes. This

dangerous mission requires a most

skewed and fearless diver.

I'm going to look for cute cuddly sea

monkeys. Being stupid doesn't hurt

either. Once prepared, the diver

is lowered into the sea, oh, so

gently.

In the water, the diver becomes

weightless.

The diver becomes a quiet observer to the

rhythms of undersea life.

Look at you, Mr. Fishhead Face.

Ohh

Everywhere, you cannot help but notice

the beauty of Mother Nature's handicraft.

Such is the fascinating Nautilus Shell.

Oh, feel the bird.

There is also the electric eel.

Umm And the M.C. hammerhead shark.

Too legit to quit.

And now the search for the sea minkies

begins using sophisticated

high-technology methods.

Hello! Come out, come out, wherever you

are, the monkey face. The

diver must search carefully, for the

undersea is not without peril.

Behold the swordfish.

Not to mention the Chancellor fish.

That tickles! Although the diver

is alone at the bottom, all have

us partake in this death-defying risk.

I could choke on a grape.

At last, we find the first

sign of the sea minky.

This evidence must be carefully

collected and preserved. Ew.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, we see our

first sea minky.

Stay away! Come back here, Mr. Sea Monkey

head!Oh, great.

Just when I'm getting close, we have to

do a stinky eyeball in a dark routine.

And a cave.

Ohh

Hey, did you see the sea monkey?

Elvira lost the sea monkey Elvira

lost the sea monkey

Finally, the creature emerges from the

darkness, leading our diver to the

incredible Hideaway of the Sea

Minkys. Can she

capture Jet One?Do you care?

And now we return to the undersea world

of Pifi.

Our diver beholds the sight before her.

Not wishing to scare these delicate

creatures, she calls to them

quietly.

Look at all the cuddly monkey heads!

Don't the monkey-wonkeys want to

play?Our diver goes

forward into one of the many puns on the

word minky that await her.

The bell of minkys.

OohI'm gonna make you

mine all mine!

Whoa.

Hey, sea monkey! You can't fool me!

Waaah! Mickey

ballerina! Hey, come out of

there! Hmm..

Here are Divel Discovel's another pun.

The Mickey Bars.

Monkey, monkey.

Look at me. Come

on, little monkey. Monkey, come on,

monkey. Ohh

I know.

Walk like an Egyptian.

Our diver discovers several monkeys,

happily diverted.

She uses this opportunity to capture the

incredible creatures.

Not just one, but two.

AhBut the creatures will not go quietly.

Slow down, monkey head! Slow

down!

And then the creatures use their tools.

The Minky Wrench.

But Juan did not get away.

Ah, looky at

you. Ooh, Monkey wants to play sword

fights. Fun!

I want to jump too!

Look at the pretty patterns we're making.

Now you're mine, Mr. Sea

Monkey.

Ohh I'm gonna love you to

pieces, Mr. Aqua Ape.

Oh, the sea monkey, monkey went

away.

Although the sea monkey has eluded our

grasp, other things are always

discovered in the undersea world.

Hey, what's this?

Ooh, ocean go down the hole.

Planet go down the hole.

You never go down the hole.

At least I got my monkey

wonky.