03x11 - Washingtoon

[bunniefuu]

We're tiny We're toony We're all a little

loony And in this cartoony We're invading

your TV We're comic defensors We've

got the ball defensors On I'm the Toon

Adventures Get a dose of comedy So here's

at the acres, it's a whole wide world

apart Our homes, we only stand alone The

cartoon works apart Let's rest, we're

rejected Expect the unexpected

They're furry, they're funny. They're

that headbuster funny. Much had a match

as money. And my wreck is a pain. He's

hunting and plucky. Disney, devil,

yucky. Purple's a lucky and go-go is

insane. And at the university, we

earn our two degree. And the teaching

class, I'm getting wacked since 1938.

We're tiny, we're too many, we're all a

little loonyIt's tiny, June adventure,

come and join the fun. And

lights on this time.

I'm getting that sinking feeling.

Cartoon escape rule number one, when it

looks as if the heroes are going to eat

it, pull in someone else.

Hey, I'm not even in this episode.

Thanks, Plucky. We owe ya. Big time.

Go on!

So, Mr. Know-It-All, got any more of

those handy rules?Just one.

When all else fails, use gratuitous

violence. Fine. Take

your pick.

Works for me.

Owie, owie, owie! Owie, owie,

that hurt!

HmmOwie, owie, owie! Owie,

owie, owie?There's no owie, owie, owie in

this script. What gives?You guys play to

rock you crazies! Something's

screwy around here.

Calamity, what happened to you?

Since when does one banana peel put a

toon out of commission?I sense an

evil presence at work.

Evil?My

goodness, no! Huh

Excuse my ill-informed ignorance, but who

are you?I represent the Adult

Coalition Against Funny Cartoons.

Okafka?Okafsi?No,

it's... Ahh....

Huh

My research shows Tiny Toon Adventures

is nothing but a lot of silliness and

nonsense. No kidding.

Cartoons are misleading. They distort

reality. Yeah. So?

Ducks being torn into little pieces is an

illustration of antisocial behavior.

It's only a gag! It is not

responsible viewing material and must

stop. That's the first sensible thing

I heard all day. We should talk. Hmm

Assassin. We stand at the

threshold of a new era. No

more silliness or cartoon violence.

Instead...

By Toon Logic Extractor.

My intention is to use this magnificent

creation to drain all the tooniness from

Acme Acres and... Reality

shall rule! Hey, what gives you the

rights?I have rights. I went through the

appropriate channels. Here's my license.

License to k*ll comedy. Great.

I'm mounting, mounting! What a walk!

What a walk!

Can I interest anyone in a slideshow

about how to wait in long lines?

So long, tunes! What

are we gonna do, Buster?

We'll fight it, and we'll save up the

acres, even if we have to go all the way

to the President of the United States.

Good thinking! Let's go!Go where?

To Washington! To see the president!

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Well, here goes something!

State your name, rank, serial number!

Bust your bunny, sir! That's bunny, sir!

Number a nation, sir! You know, the

stars of Tiny Toon Adventures?We're here

to see the president. Take the

torps. Now

what?

We've traveled so far. So far!

So very far!

Buster and Babs Bunny?Oh,

boy! Gosh, it's

really you! Hi! I'm

Vice President Dan Quayle, but you can

call me Danny or Danforth or whatever!

I can't believe you guys are at my house!

Vice President?I'm your biggest

fan! I watch every day! Wanna see my

room?I got lots of neat stuff!

So, uh, this is my room. You want to see

my Desert Storm action figures?

Navy SEALs! Awesome, huhAwesome!

Buster and Babs are in my room! Buster

and Babs are in my room! Getting back to

the point. Acme Acres is being drained of

its tooniness. It's a disaster! Oh, boy--

Do that funny thing with your toes.

Danny, Danny! As Acme's acres goes,

so goes the nation. Come on,

please, Babs!

Don't I have the cutest toes?

Oh, that's funny! This

isn't going well. Listen, Danny Boy,

we wanna meet the president. Oh, me

too! Do you know him?The future, folks.

Danny, Danny!We need to see the

president. Will you help us?

Well, George went to sleepaway camp. Camp

David. We'd love to hang here all day,

but... bye!

Don't I have the cutest toast?

Jeff's like Buster and Babs, using their

celebrity status to springboard them into

government. can play at that

game.

Hello, Sensor Lady. This is Plucky Duck.

Yes, Mr. Cluck. Uh, that's Duck. Uh,

I've been thinking about this new show of

yours. Yes, Mr. Cluck. Uh,

Duck. Duck. And, uh, well, I agree. The

children of this great land should be

made to watch boring, slow-paced highbrow

stuff. Yes. YesCome and see

me right away, Mr. Cluck. Uh-huh

Ah

There he is! George Bush! President of

the United States! Look!

Yup, and they're a Secret Service man

making sure we'll never get near him.

Gonna catch a fish, I'm gonna do it. Yeah?

That's what you think.

Tell me, Mrs. Bush, with all the

activities as First Lady, when do you get

to see your husband, the president?Well,

George and I have a unique relationship.

We watch TV together.

Wee-wee! So what does the

president wee-wee think of Babs

Bunny?HuhDoes he wipe her

ears up or down?

Say, isn't that retired, five-star

General what's-his-name?Schwarzkopf.

Gesundheit. At

ease, ladies. So, General,

what brings you to Camp David, besides

the basket weaving and water sport?Top

secret, ladies. I must confer with the

president immediately. Terrific

idea. Let's go.

Oh, George?Come on, monster bass.

George, the Tyndall has some urgent news

for you. Well, read my

lips.

No, no taxes. So what else

is new?Oh, Babs.

ohh Allow me to introduce my bodyguards.

This is Agents Kinder and Gentler.

Now take it easy! Toons are an endangered

species!

Endangered species?Oh, I couldn't toss

out an endangered species. Wouldn't be

prudent. Not gonna do it. Gosh, Mr.

President, all we want to do is make

people laugh. Soon it'll be too late.

We'll be banned from TV. There ought to

be a law. Please help us!

Yes, there should be laws to protect

cartoons, but...

But.. I don't make the laws. That That

takes an act of Congress. First you have

to write a bill, then it gets debated and

voted on. Finally, it's passed on to me

for approval. And if I don't veto it, the

bill becomes law, you see. Okay, let's go

get started. Meanwhile, back at

Acme Acres.

Watch me in my new spectacular television

series. Learn all about pet

care.

And proper nutrition.

Now I eat health food only.

And character building. Oh boy,

I'm gonna clean my room.

Oh boy, I'm gonna clean my room. Tune in

and learn!

It's time to probe! It's time to

prove! It's time to let your mind

improve! It's time to see some

docu-drama! Here are suckies!

Learn-o-drama! Hi, boys and

girls! Today, we're gonna learn

the Dewey Decimal System! If

Congress doesn't help us, Acme Achres

is doomed!

Poop, Buster! The Lincoln Memorial!

It is for us to be dedicated to the great

task remaining before us, that this

nation, under God, shall have new

birth of freedom.

And that government of the people, by the

people, and for the people, shall not

perish from this earth.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Too bad it doesn't apply to us.

Face it, Babs, we're a lost cause.

Lost causes are the only causes worth

fighting for. Who said that?

Stand tough in the face of adversity. Let

right be done. Let truth be your guide,

and most of all, never give up.

Never, ever give up. Come on,

Babs. We have our work cut out for us.

Thanks, Mr. Lincoln.

Now ask me something hard, Danny. Oh,

there you are, Ronnie. Don't you know

better than to wander out at this hour?

Oh, what am I ever going to do with you?

Say bye-bye, Teddy. Bye-bye.

We are about to make history. Her

story, too.

Congress is now in session. Will you

please come to order?The rabbits have the

floor.

These bunnies are my friends. They can

speak. So

nice having friends in high places.

Um, we'd like to say a few things on

behalf of Cartoons Across America--

Filibuster! Filibuster?Filibuster!

Filibuster! Filibuster!

Phil Aboster.

Get it?

Sipping yag.

Four score and seven minutes ago,

when in the course of Toonie events, we

hold these tooths to be

self-evident.

Tooths!Sponge! Comedy, folks,

is what we do. Cartoons are a

part of our cultural heritage. Everybody

loves 'em. Yet, we're being knocked off

the air. Banned from our

audiences. Denied our rights of

free speech and expression.

And replaced with this...

dribble.

Okay, boys and girls and animal

friends, let's explore

our feelings.

When we get mad, we frown a

lot. We tie our feelings

in a knot. But when we share

what's on our mind, our heart will

smile all the time. Ohh

Members of Congress. Free speech is on

the block! Oh!

What?The very idea!

Don't let her ruin it for everyone!

Who are you going to believe?Me or these

silly corrupters of young minds?Think of

it, folks. If she gets her way, cartoon

characters will never be able to do this

again!

Or this!

Certainly never, ever this!

You tunes are an insult to decent

Americans! Now it's personal.

Sure, in reality, when people fall, they

scrape their skin. Or if a ton of bricks

drops out of the sky, they can get

seriously hurt. But hey, lighten up!

We're talking about cartoons! It's okay

to have a little fun and to laugh at

life's ba*ls and boibles.

Laughter is a cure for what ails ya!And

it's a great laxative. I have just

begun to fight! That's what she

thinks. Bye!

All in favor of banning cartoons from TV,

say aye

All those opposed?Laugh!

Laugh all you want, but it's not overyet!

HuhWell, this can't be! What's

going

on?Oh, no! All my work!Gone!

I'm ruined! Ruined!

What's going on here?

Ohh Wait! This is

impossible! Oh, boy, I'm gonna clean my

room.

So, um, I still got no pants.

I knew you were too toony for that

overgrown carpet sweeper.

Hey, look!

Who are you?I'm your

tooniness. Why, I thought

you were lost forever.

Yahoo! Yahoo!

Wait for me, Go-Go! Here I come!

I like her. She's silly.

Thanks for everything. If you ever need

help with your tuniness, give us a call.

Thanks! I will in 1996!

Gimme four!