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03x10 - Buster's Directorial Debut

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Tiny Toon Adventures". Aired: September 14 – December 6, 1992.*
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Cartoon set in the fictional town of "Acme Acres", where most of the Tiny Toons and Looney Tunes characters live.

03x10 - Buster's Directorial Debut

Post by bunniefuu »

We're tiny. We're toony. We're all a

little loonyAnd in this cartoony, we're

invading your meeting. With comic

disadvures, we cut them all in sensors.

Our tiny two adventures get a dose of

comedy. So here's at the acres, it's a

whole wide world apart. Our hopes, we

only stand alone, the cartoon worth of

art. The rest were rejected, expect the

unexpected.

They're furry, they're funny They're

thousand, busted, bunny Much had a match

as money And my wreck is a ping He's

husband, and lucky Disney, devil,

yucky Purple's unlucky And don't go

is insane And at the university, we

earn our tune degree We're teaching cash

and getting wax since 1933 We're

tiny, we're too many We're all a little

loony It's tiny, too near friendship Come

and join the fun

And now,

that Emmy award-winning rabbit, Buster

Bunny! Uh, thank you,

sir, thank you! And welcome, Toomsters,

to a very special day on Tiny Toons.

My directorial debut. Uh,

is the roof in the right place, Mr. Bunny?

I think it should be a quarter-inch

camera left. Uh, yes, sir.

Don't you just love power?

As a director, I felt an urge to

express myself musically. So I'm

going to direct Furball on the Roof.

Heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe!

Cut!

Fabs, what are you doing?Exercising. I

watched yesterday's show, and I look like

a blowfish. Fabs, I have a show to

direct. Unless I lose a couple of inches,

I can kiss my career goodbye! What about

my career?You're right. You're as flabby

as I am. Come on!

Heel-toe! Heel-toe! Heel-toe!

Keep up, Buster! Ohh Furball on the roof,

this ain't. Nope, it's power walking.

Step lively! Heel-toe!

Heel-toe!

Breadcrumbs. I saw it in the movies.

What do you expect on my salary?A girl's

gotta eat!

Well, I am whipped!

Lunchtime! Break out the picnic

basket du jour, buster. Huh

Make with the food! I'm starving!

Food?What food?All I brought was these

breadcrumbs.

I'm fading! I'm

fading! Fading! Babs, we've only

been gone for three minutes.

You know, as a director, I would've lived

this differently. HuhUh, sh**t!

A carrot cake house!

Down! Carrot cake! There's

icing!

You can't just eat someone else's house?

Thank you, Miss Manners. Hello, bunnies.

I'm Sandy. Have you lost your way?I

was just sitting down for a bite. Care to

join me?

Must be a girl thing. I live to

serve bunnies. Whatever.

Enjoy.

Can I fix you a plate?

I'll pass, thanks. I'm way behind

schedule. Probably over budget, too.

Babs! I know.

I'm ruining my diet, but I just can't

help myself. Guard yourself.

Please.

Two rabbits do. Make sure

rabbits are real. Do not substitute

toon rabbits.

Sandy isn't what you think she is.

Men, never able to accept a caring

woman.

Let's bolt! I'm not going anywhere in

this rain. Plus, I've always wanted to

stay at a country inn. Look, Buster,

isn't this romantic?

Babs, you don't understand. Sandy, you're

a... witch!

Hola, Buster! Wanna say hi to my

girlfriend, Harriet?

The ingredient, one. Now,

where is that magic dust?

Here it is.

Snack?Thanks. Don't stab it!

I'm late.

I just wanted to direct for a ball on the

roof. Was that so much to ask?

Maybe it was.

Now to catch your little friend. Can't

make two rabbits stir with just one

bunny, can I?

HuhWho could that be?Oh, I'm

coming!

I'm from the Acme Vacuum Cleaner Company

of Walla Walla, Washington, and you look

like someone in need of an Acme SRV-250.

I just got laid off. Now I know you're

wondering what makes this vacuum cleaner

so special. Not really. It's slices

and dices, scrub scrapes and chops that

will even watch the dog and entertain the

tittiesI have no money. But it is

also a locksmith. Mind if I demonstrate?

Go where, I'll call the police.

Run for your dear little life. She's a

big, bad witch, and she wants to eat you.

You're not from the Acme Vacuum Cleaner

Company. You're a

rabbit. Eh, your

mother rides a dustbuster.

After him!

No hard feelings, but you can't outsmart

a rabbit. It simply can't be done.

Oh, that's all?A witch in time saves

nine. Oh, nice

comeback. Ouch!

Nehemiah stood asides.

After that bunny!

Should I or shouldn't I?Hmm

A footnote. The first recorded occurrence

of this dad was by Chuckles Bones in



Snap out of it, Bobsy. Babs, do that

funny thing you do! Do Joan Rivers! Do

Maury Amsterdam! Do something! Uh,

there's dust in that corner!

Hocus pocus, Huey dooey, turn these

rabbits into

chop suey! Ohh Talk about splittinghairs.

Now, I've gotcha.

Ah, why not?

Magic powder. Thank you, Lazy Rider.

You wouldn't dare! Never

underestimate that little guy.

Ooh, a fish sandy witch!

Come on, Babs, hurry up! I've got a

cartoon to direct!

Well, at least it'll be quiet on the set.

And now, without further ado, disruptions

or distractions, I present my

directorial debut. Furball

on the Roof! Action!

Stop the presses! I protest!

This is ridiculous! Furball on the roof!

You're going to direct a major musical

starring a cat that can't even talk?

Cut! I demand a rewrite!

Rewrite?I'll get you a rewrite.

This is workable.

So, where's my script?

Ducklahoma, starring Plucky Duck. Now,

this is a classic!

Nee-nee-nee!

And... action! Oh, such a

wonderful anvil!

This setup seems painfully familiar.

Plug, babe! This is your

story. It has Emmy written all

over it. Yes, yes, well, of

course, I... Let us continue, shall we?

And... action!

There's a nice flat black scene on the

anvil. There's a nice flat

black scene on the anvil. It

goes up from the ground to rise way

above town. And it looks

like it's falling, it's coming straight

down. Oh, such a

wonderful

Oh, how it fills me with glee!

Watch now, I'm changing my thinking!

That animals are falling on

me!

Cut! This is absurd!

Exactly, plucky babe, and that's what I'm

going for here. Now, this is your big,

big... You're a beautiful

babe. Don't have a change, huh

Like morning to you, Mr. Plucky.

Morning, Miss Shirley. I come to ask you

to the dance. She ain't going with

you.

Well, if it ain't ham fry, the hired

ham. Ain't

nobody taking her butting me.

Butting you?Sure.

I'm telling you, Mr. Plucky, nobody

crosses Mr. Habfry. I'm taking Miss

Shirley to the dance. Is that right?

Well, take a listen here.

Pigs and hogs and sows say goodbye

When I drop this thing from on high

When I drop this thing, the sandal with

the tablecloth

I like this part.

Don't worry, my Mr. Hemp Fried Cutie Pie.

I'll go to the dance with you.

No, thanks, Ms. Elbari. Why

not?'Cause where you go,

and those follow.

I never seem to fall for the right guy.

Um, just like what's wrong with you and

junk?

Not another song! Please! I can't

take it! With every song, I get

pulverized!

I know I've been bad. I know I shouldn't

have disrupted your directorial debut.

But isn't there someone else on this show

obnoxious enough to get hit with anvils?

Oh, don't cry, hard booey, hooey

little ducky-wocky. Oh, please,

please, please

Cue Elmira song!

Thank you. Thank you.

Here is a gal who can avoid

anvils You should have pity, you'll

see I always try

to clear the path But they keep

falling on me When I hear

that whistlin', fallin' sound I

know I ought to get right out of town

But I never seem to move

enough And my head is always pummeled in

the ground Hi!

Listen here, Mr. Hamfry. Miss

Shirley's agreed to go with me to the

dance. I'm like, um, sorry and junk. Uh,

why don't you take Miss Elmiry?Why,

should I?'Cause then we can cut straight

to the finale and get this thing over

with.

Well, all right. Yay!

Duck, 'lahoma, watch the anvils fall out

from the sky Duck, 'lahoma,

where the sound of holy iris It's like a

siren, watch the anvils start to rain out

from a high Even though a fair

warning is said It's sure

you'll get one on the headSo let's all

sing! Ouch! We really

need it, hey! Ouch! We're

really hurtin' Run for your life

Duck-lahoma!

Duck-lahoma! W-K-L-A-H-O-M-A!

Duck-lahoma!

Cut and print.

Am I gifted or what?

Um, speaking of gifts, the cast and I got

you a little gift to show our

appreciation. Oh, you shouldn't

have. I don't deserve it. Oh, yes, you

do. Oh,

I'm overwhelmed. The safest.

Oops, forgot something.

How could you leave me like that, you

no-good excuse for a-- Gosh, Babs, you've

lost weight. I have?You look

great. Really?

What do you want?I'm a director. I'm

supposed to schmooze.