02x03 - Elephant Issues

[bunniefuu]

We're tiny. We're toony. We're all a

little loonyAnd in this cartoony, we're

invading or heating. We're comic

dispensers. We've got them all

dispensers. On tiny two adventures, get a

dose of comedy. So here's at the acres,

it's a whole wide world apart. Our homes,

we only stand alone, the cartoon works

apart. Let's rest. We're rejected. Expect

the unexpected.

about to shot They're furry, they're

funny They're fast and busted funny Much

had a match as money Now my wreck is a

pain He's hunting and lucky Disney,

devil, yucky Purple's unlucky And

Gogo is insane And at the

university we earn our two degrees And

the teaching class has been dealing wack

since 1933 We're tiny, we're too

many We're all a little loony It's tiny

to your friendship Come and join the fun

And

How was that, Byron?Pathetic.

Thank you. Oh, there.

So good of you to drop by. Every so

often, I like taking a break from my

wackiness to ponder today's relevant

issues. Did you say elephant

tissues?Oh, no. None of your

tomfoolery, please. Seriously,

today we take a tiny turn look at burning

issues in a fruitless attempt to win

another Emmy. Burning tissues coming up.

Now, today, you're going to perform a

classic scene of tunery in which

yours truly outwits the Tasmanian

devil. Buster, you'll attempt to portray

me and Dizzy,Eh,

you'll play Tazzy. Now let's start with

your line at the top of the page, Diz.

Uh.. Dizzy, whenever you're ready. It's

right there, Diz. What, boy, you bury me

in the cold, cold ground. Me, though.

Me want to make sure me get it just

right. What, um.. Uh..

what.. Let me take a look at that script.

Oh, I found a problemo. You've got the

darn thing turned upside down.

Here's the way to do the scene. Me

hates this class. Me hates school.

Do I get my check now?My scene's over.

Didn't this same plot line happen to

Tootie on the Facts of Life?Rope it in,

babs. Imagine poor Dizzy not being able

to read. Come on! Let's see if we can

help the little devil. There

it is! Dizzy! I hope you don't mind our

just barging in like this! Doodle.

This?

You've been working all day at your Too

Cool school. You've earned a break, so

eat some cruel. Cruel is tasty,

cruel is death. Eat yourself, you won't

have any teeth left. Coming up

next, get your favorite show,

Tiny Toons. In today's wacky

episode, Lucky Duck's thrown into a

Turkish prison. Oh, no!

I hate the way they drew me in that

episode. I hate the way they drew me in

this episode, too. No wonder he can't

read. He's watching TV all the time.

HmmHello?Earth to Dizzy.

Watch TV, Dizzy.

Don't read boring, stupid books.

TV is good for you.

But Cosby's on Nets.

Now this is important to read

because reading could save your life. Say

you're riding your bike down the street

and you're watching the TV. You don't see

a stop sign and before you know it, well,

you're injured. Or you're walking down

the street and don't look at the sign and

before you know it. You're injured again,

and or you wander into a neighbor's yard

there's a dog. If you read the sign, you

would've known, man. Wee!

What's he doing now?

Arrest TV.

Oh, well, if he's not gonna hit the

books. Ow!

Me so dizzy me had to be spinning.

Little Jack Corner sat in a corner eating

his Christmas pie. He stuck in his thumb

and spoke out... P-L-U-M.

Um And said, What a good boy am

I!

Mary had a little lamb as fleece was

bright as snow.

L-A-M-B, lamb.

Me likes lamb, too. Medium

rare.

Dizzy, don't breathe. Watch

TV! Me rather read about food like

gingerbread man. Run, run,

as fast as you can. You can't catch me,

I'm the gingerbread man. Who is

this?Another poor soul lost to the boob

tube. You can't catch me,

I'm the gingerbread man. Is that

dizzy?Come on!

Recipe for a gingerbread man. Mix

together two eggs. Ginger, flour,

molasses, place in a preheated



done. Hiya, bunny!

And thanks! Me like reading now.

Oh,

no. Oh, yes. We're back. You know,

getting along with different people is

one of the more pressing issues of life.

Issues of life! Hot off the press!

Now, for our next cartoon.

Now, in this here-- I say, in this here

laboratory, we dissect jokes. Cut

'em open, find out what they're made of.

Separate the rib from the tickler. Whoo!

Hey, almost made it funny there. Humor,

that is. Why must I endure these lame

ol' lexers?

Hey, get a load of Robo-Tot! He looks

like the cover boy for Better Homes and

Grease g*ns.

Quiet now. Quiet, I say. You got your

jaws flapping so much, your gum's about

to get sunburned. You'll have to

excuse my friends here. They're not used

to, uh.. whatever it is you are.

Hello, Dave. My name is Clyde. A junky

like that should be called Clyde! What a

freakazoid!

The ugly gap-toothed boy child disturbs

me, Dave. Life stands

for Cybernetic Laser Ionized Digital

Entity. Watch me, Lumbada.

Hmm.. Kids, this may be a good time to

get a cheese sandwich. I also breakdance,

Dave. You must be searching for the

Ferthestair Dance Studio. It's just a

quick stroll up the street. Ah, that's

incorrect, Dave. But thanks for playing

our game. I have just enrolled in Acme

University. Clyde signed on

for the semester. Good answer, Dave. Now

for Final Jeopardy. All right now,

everybody, back to work. Uh, Clyde, you

take this seat up here. Thank you, Dave.

I'd like to buy a vowel.

For sure-fire belly laugh, not I say

nothing works better than the element

of... Surprise!

Bingo. Hmm,

green eggs and spam. The mess hall must

be using the Dr. Seuss cookbook again.

Clyde the robot, come on down.

The password is lunch.

Those metal bolts look a lot better than

the green slop I'm eating. Sorry, pal,

this seat is taken. Hampton to block.

Next time, call for a reservation. Most

of our contestants stay at the Essex

House overlooking beautiful Central Park.

I'll take potent potables for 100.

Thanks for sharing. Huh

Look what you've done, you cordless

weenie roaster! All over my new Dacron

Dickie! That tears it! I told you guys

this robot was nothing but a clod! Uh,

Dave, don't you want your lovely parting

gifts?We are experiencing technical

difficulties.

Is this seat taken?Things you say on a

bus. I'm starving.

Want a carrot?Things rabbits always say.

Yeah, whatever. I have a question for

bachelor number two. So, uh, how do you

hike it at Acme, Lou?I don't understand

the rules, Dave. Uh, there are no rules.

Just be your robot self. I don't want to

be a robot, Dave. I want to be

popular. But... Just

like you. But... Please?

I guess I could try. What can I say?I'm a

role model.

This is more fun than a robot ought to

have. Hey, trust me.

Nobody stains my dickie and gets away

with it. That's why I bought... Snide!

Super new and improved droid eradicator.

He's gonna make mincemeat out of that

chump. And the best part is it came with

a 99-cent rebate. Go

get 'em! Huh

Now what's wrong?

Ah, here it is. I forgot to program it.

Attack steereth geek.

Help! Not me! Time to party,

Clyde-style.

And you win. A brand-new

car, with dual automatic transmission,

front-wheel drive and rich Corinthian

leather.

And reconvenient steering.

And that's not all. Tell him what else

he's won. Well, Dave, it's a Learjet.

Look out ahead, Dave.

Transportation provided by Air Klein.

Ah, you saved my life! You've really

taught me a lesson. Now I realize it's

not what you look like on the outside,

but who you are on the inside that

counts. Now I realize that's the answer.

Correct, Dave, but you didn't state it in

the form of a question.

I think this new kid's gonna fit in fine.

If all your friends did something

foolish, would you join in?Hey,

Gogo! We're all jumping off a cliff. It's

cool! Everybody's doing it!

Always retain your individuality. Don't

give in to peer pressure. Hey,

Gogo! We're all gonna swallow live

porcupines! It's cool! Everybody's doing

it! If something

doesn't seem right, refrain. There's no

need for you to follow the crowd. Hey,

go, go! We're all gonna wear cold

cuts and run through the lion pit

screaming lunchtime! It's cool,

everybody's doing it! Now that I can

relate to! Hey, guys, wait for

me!

What'll it be, boys?Juice, milk,

soda?Or...

A cold one.

You mean... that's

beer?

What are you thinking, Buster?Let's drink

it. Drink it?But,

Buster, this isn't like you. I know,

but in this episode, we're showing the

evils of alcohol.

So, uh, don't you guys drink, beer?

Uh, only on a full stomach.

Well, what are we waiting for?Come on. Ah,

nectar of the hops.

Gee, maybe we should just take it back.

Ah, stop being such a square pig,

Hampton. What are you, yellow?

Uh, here, Pookie. Thanks,

Lops. Hampton!

I'm... you first. Uh Was

your idea. I dare ya.

Darers always go first. Geez.

Am I glad that's settled. All

right. Bottoms

up.

Now you.

Look.

Hello?

Are we worth it or what?

Just pass the brewski, bub.

Hey, don't be such a hog. And

that's a good one.

Look, babes!

Yeah, what

smells?You babes wanna

hang?Or what?

Far-far-rama, they've been drinking.

Uh, who needs some

Oh, this is so weird. Why

beer in the whole world looks--

Screwy. I'll drink

to that.

Well, looky here. How about

we go for a little... a little ride?Do

you mean, like, steal the car?

Risk going to jail?Sounds

like fun. Cool, man.

Hey, you guys, help me with the gas.

Okay. Try it

now. Thanks.

Hey, watch where you're going.

So, Plucky, how does it

feel to be DWI?

DWI, what's that?

DWI! Driving while

intoxicated! Ah, that's

ridiculous. I don't know how to drive.

Hey, I got an idea!

This is more like it.

Hey, guys, look.

Can anyone read that road sign ahead?

It says, Danger

rolled out ahead.

Hmm, that's not a very good sign.

I hope the kids got the message. Yeah,

drinking's uncool. So do we get to do a

funny episode tomorrow?I hope so.