02x04 - Defluencer

[bunniefuu]

You've been heated
to 1,200 degrees and turned to dust.

And with me,
everything's happening really fast.

And have you registered
with the job center?

- Yes, sure.
- Great. Finally.

Yeah, it was about time.

I've pulled myself together.

Did you use the rocket principle?

Yes, exactly.

First the tip of your nose,
then fire up the a*s.

- Yes.
- And what did they say?

Good morning, Ms. Sternberg.
Have a seat.

I love your imagination, Helene.

Cool.

You sound exactly
like you do in real life.

There's no difference between the voice
you use for acting and the real one.

Sorry, should we start over again?

No, it's alright.

- Just carry on?
- Exactly.

I love your stories, Helene.

I've joined the Jehovah's Witnesses now.

What? That's such a crazy idea.

No, I really have.

I love it.

I know we're filming, but I really
have joined the Jehovah's Witnesses.

I had my water baptism last week.

Great. Cut.

Seriously? It's about the most
restrictive religious group there is.

It's incredible you still fall
for my lines after all these years.

Yes, great.

Sorry.

Why?

You must feel that I still don't
really know you after all these years.

Do you know why I think
you still let me take you for a ride?

Because deep down, it's what you want.

I'm the burning bush and you're Moses.

You want to believe the bushes burn.

I'd like to take a couple of photos.

Yes.

Yes. That's it.

Great.

Exactly like that.

Amazing.

Amazing.

Yes...

Lovely. Amazing. Great.

Great. Very nice.

Nice.

Listen, if you join the Remmo Clan,

at the start, the members send
each other a picture of their ba*ls.

And a secret that comes out
if you betray the others.

So, for example, if you say you want
to stop working with me at Vaginality,

then I could post that, and vice versa.

- Ready?
- Yes.

When I was small,
I sometimes used to sniff your panties.

What?

I wasn't sure if it was pee or pollen
that came out of you.

Your turn.

- A secret, yes?
- Yes, an incredibly embarrassing one.

So?

- Something I've never told anyone else?
- Yes.

I don't like salmon.

I don't like salmon.

I only ever eat salmon
when I'm with other people.

I actually don't like salmon at all.

And especially not sashimi.

So you find it really disgusting?

No, it's not that I find it disgusting.

It makes me feel insecure somehow.

- I see.
- Yes.

- Unbelievable.
- Yeah.

I'll hound you with that
for the rest of your life.

I couldn't think of anything else.

Bo, actually...

I've haven't slept
with Jason for two years.

That's... that's not so bad.

- No?
- No.

I...

I just find the idea of it horrible.

What exactly about it?

His...

For something of his to penetrate me...

His... point?

Yes.

- Is he unhygienic?
- No.

He even has it waxed.

Is he... is he too hygienic?

I don't know.

I think it's me.

Well, we have to...
They want us to record some sound bites.

And I need to straighten my hair.

{\an8}In the past, they often swam together.

{\an8}Today, they represent a new generation
of female entrepreneurs.

Helene Sternberg und Maike Kirsch.

Here, at the Female Force Awards
at the Vaginality Hub,

Kirsch and Sternberg
meet influencer Fleur Lafleur.

That's not Helene.

But the voice on TV
said "Helene Sternberg."

That can't be Helene. She's in...

Right. You can't be in a loony bin
and on TV at the same time.

She looks like her, though,
but with whiter teeth.

You've already had your first champagne?
It's been a successful year.

We're really getting our drink on
with the Influencers.

It is her.

I just wanted to say
I'm such a big fan of your work.

I'll call the clinic.

- Yes?
- I'd like to talk to Dr. Berg-Berth.

I don't know a Berg Bernd.

- Berg-Berth. Berth...
- Berth with "th," as in... thymus.

This is Breitbach Tires.
I don't know anyone called Berth.

Thanks. Have a nice day.

- What the...
- Heck.

- Yes.
- Yes, what the heck.

That's what I said.

Yes.

The number's right.

Yes. And now I'm at the party
where I am the party.

So, I'm not at the party,
rather I am the party. So to speak.

I just wanted to say
I'm such a huge fan of your work.

I'm such a huge fan of your work.

Thanks.

I'm having fun.

Could you?

Yes, sure.

Vaginality.

- What is it you do again?
- I'm a content creator.

Yes, I network
in the client-to-business area

and I create content.

So, I meet with big customers.

And then?

- I create content.
- How?

Well, I talk to everyone,

give the brand a face, take photos.

So kind of like an escort?

Classic Hell!

That's a classic don't-give-a-f*ck moment.

You're so right.
You're so g*dd*mn right.

Aren't we all sex workers?

- Helene Steinberg?
- Yes?

I don't give a f*ck.

I'm really having fun.

I like your panties, by the way.

- Thanks.
- Cheers, again.

- Yes. Again.
- Again.

Here. You too.

Hello.

- Hello. Welcome.
- Hello.

I'm Günther. I'm Helene's dad.

I'm a big fan of your daughter.

- Look. The same T-shirt.
- Yes. I don't give a f*ck.

She's over there.

- Okay, see you later.
- Yeah.

Of course.

Yep.

She's on television.

Helene is on TV. Just tell him.

Vera, this isn't a good time.

And there's something else
we need to talk about, Günther.

So...

Ms. Sternberg, you represent
the new counterculture

against the performative.

One, two, three.

One, two, three...

Wait, wait. Frog, spread, and close.

- I'm in.
- Really?

The gate was open.

There's not a soul on the clinic grounds.

How odd.

Darling.

There's a lot of furniture
all piled in a heap.

And the floor looks damaged.

Jeepers!

It says, "For technical reasons,
the clinic is closed."

What?

"For technical reasons,
the clinic is closed."

Yes, you said that,
but what does it mean?

I don't know.

The "f" has a curl.

Sorry, what?

The "f" in "for technical reasons,
the clinic is closed" has a curl.

The "f". Okay. So?

It's written by her.

What?

Bunny? Is everything okay?

Well?

Sorry...

to just burst in.

I forgot I was group 1b.

So I went to the art room by mistake.

And then I...

I stumbled upon this.

This... picture.

Whose is it?

I'd like to ask you all
how you got here today.

Ms. Bohlmann, we'll start with you.

When you're done, throw
the imaginary ball to the next person.

So, I'm very agitated today.

I have a lot of things on my mind.

First and foremost,
a phone call with my girlfriend.

Do you want to tell us
more about the call?

Yes. It was the first call in two weeks.

It was about the coffee machine again.

- Which one?
- Mine.

- What kind of coffee machine?
- One with capsules.

- Where the capsules fall into it?
- Exactly.

The problem is whenever I use it,
my girlfriend comes up behind me

and presses the milk foam button,
so it won't overheat.

- What does that make you feel?
- I try to stay calm.

Why?

I get that she doesn't
want it to overheat.

But she could just trust me,
that I'll press it in time.

- Has it ever overheated before?
- Ms. Sternberg, I'd...

Will you let Ms. Bohlmann answer?

No, it's never overheated.

So?

So, I could get upset that she always
presses the button before I do.

And why don't you?

- Just do it.
- Yes.

Well, I... I could.

Squeeze my hand.

And now squeeze
all your aggression into my hand.

Imagine...

that I'm your girlfriend.

So, I...

I don't want...

I...

I...

I don't want you to press
the f*cking button on the milk frother,

you stupid cow!

Ms. Sternberg?

Ms. Sternberg, could you
please keep to yourself?

How did you get here this morning?

Would you like to share that with us?

You don't want to share that with us?

Okay, fine.

Is there anything I can do to help you?

The ball.

The ball?

You were going to throw me a ball,
so I could speak.

So, I came here today by...

tram.

And Janno, I'm signing an autograph
for the first time in my life.

Female Force Award.

Today, we'll end up like the patriarchy.

f*cked up!

You've done it, Helene, sweetie.

- By doing nothing!
- Thanks, Dad.

All those overworked law students,
who've been slaving away for years,

are looking up to you now and stuffing
bad sushi into their overworked mouths.

- Come on, let's take a selfie.
- Yes.

Hi, guys.

Hi, guys. I'm here
at the Female Force Award

with my daughter Helene
and it's just amazing.

All these faces
at the party that say to me,

"You're so different,
and we're different with you."

Because you're different we've made you
what we want you to be for us.

A therapy, a pill.

The fun flows through me,
drips out of me.

I'm really running out of fun.

I'm lying in little chunks of fun
on the floor, thinking

"I need to be with you."

Where there's no fun, just sadness.

Is it actually true that you always
stole your clothes from dry cleaners?

- Borrowed them.
- Borrowed. Yes, exactly.

To be honest, I'd love to be like you.

I don't give a f*ck.

I don't give a f*ck!

- So?
- Well...

You have to really feel it,
you know? Do it.

You have to actively not give a f*ck.

Exactly.

This is a Geraldo Funke jacket.

It cost 15,000 Euros.

No. What?

What's happening?

Fleur is on fire, guys!

I suddenly really feel
like eating a sausage.

Or tidying my room.

Or catching a regional train.

The sadness becomes immense.

Boundless.

Let's break into a swimming pool
or spend the night in a bus station.

Or we poop from the stairs.

- No.
- Yes.

- Yes.
- Let's do it.

Down with capitalism!

And that's why I'm coming back to you.

Where I believe you still are.

To the cemetery, please.

What do you think is behind the mountain?

Another mountain.

And behind that?

The sea.

Shall we go there one day?

Yes.

Come on.

So, that's 42.60 Euros.

Yes.

- Keep the change.
- Thank you.

I'm coming to you
because the sadness is so great

that I need someone who understands
close to me.