01x05 - Linus' Security Blanket

[bunniefuu]

A cat's got Woodstock! The cat

next door has got Woodstock! Save him!

Save him!

Cat fight! Dog fight! Cat and dog fight!

It's a m*ssacre! Snoopy is

rescuing Woodstock! The cat next door got

Woodstock! And Snoopy is rescuing him!

It looks like just a yellow glove.

I apologize, Snoopy. I thought the

cat next door had gotten Woodstock, but

it was only an old yellow glove. But

it proved one thing, didn't it?It

proved you were willing to give your life

for your friend. You could have been

k*lled.

So you finally did it. You got into a

fight with a cat next door. Come into the

house. We may have to call a vet.

What's that all over your tongue?

Yuck. Cat hair.

How's our hero?I'm going to take him to

the vets. That's good. He probably needs

a tetanus shot. Actually, we're

fine. Five good tetanus shots.

Tetanus shots of our horses. But he

looks like he was stepped on by a horse.

The vet said you really took quite a

beating, Snoopy. He said he's going to

give you a long-lasting penicillin shot.

Woodstock would have been proud of you,

Snoopy. After all, you really

thought you were fighting to save his

life. That was no ordinary cat,

either.

Are you going to keep on reading w*r and

Peace?

We just got a call from the people next

door. Guess what?They claim that you

attack their kitten. I'm

going over to our neighbors and apologize

for Snoopy attacking their kitten. The

whole thing was really my mistake,

Charlie Brown. You stay here. I'll

go over and explain to them what

happened. Ohh

That's no kitten. That's a thousand-pound

gully cat. A

centimeter?If any

centimeters come crawling into this room,

I'll step on them.

Yes, ma'am.

For show and tell today, I have brought

this leaf. You will know that I

left the tree where it was.

Yes, ma'am.

A man in the truck drove to the zoo.

He said to the zookeeper, I've got

some good news for you and some bad

news for you.

Another C minus. You

know what?I always enjoy

speculating on what our life would be

like if you and I ever got married,

Schroeder. I'll bet we'd have a

son. And he'd probably be a

great musician just like you.

But I wonder what he'd look like. I

wonder if he'd have my sensitive

expression. What do you think our

son would look like?Well,

perhaps. But I'd like to

think that his nose wouldn't be quite

that big.

Beethoven was born on December 16th,



very good year. That was the same year

that Gainsborough painted the Blue Boy.

Maybe we'll have another year like that

pretty soon. I hope so. We're

overdue. As a young boy,

Beethoven was powerfully built. He was

short of stature,had broad shoulders, a

short neck, a large head, and a round

nose. He sounds kind of cute.

Beethoven was not cute.

Today is the 200th anniversary of the

birth of Beethoven. I shall celebrate it

by giving you a kiss on the nose. How

quaint. The kiss will be supplied by

my representative.

Happy Beethoven's birthday.

Ow!

But is it art?

Hey, manager, I think we should call the

game. Call the game. Why

should we call the game?It's raining on

my cake.

What are you doing, Charlie Brown?

Go on home. The game has been

called. Don't you think I know

that?I'm here for tomorrow's game.

Come back, everybody. We can

still play. A little water doesn't

hurt! The waves aren't that high! There

aren't even any whitecaps!

Good grief! I'm floating out to

sea! This is

ridiculous! I'm floating

out to sea on a pitcher's mound!

Help! There's never an umpire

around when you need one.

Hey, look!Your brother's floating out

to sea on the pitcher's mound. You should

wave to him. You'll probably never see

him again. So long, big brother!

Floating out to sea on a pitcher's mound?

I can't believe it. Charlie Brown's

in trouble, Snoopy. We should do

something. Help!

I'm floating out to sea! Help!

Somebody save me!Hang

on, Charlie Brown. I have good news

for you. You're not floating out to

sea. You're floating down a

driveway and into an alley behind

a supermarket.

And h*.

What are you doing, home?I thought you

had floated out to sea. No, I guess

not. I ended up in an alley behind the

supermarket. It was a terrible

experience. I

suppose you're going to want your room

back.

Sit down, please. Thank you.

I'm going to ask you a question, and I

want you to answer me truthfully. You

see, physicians can learn a lot about a

patient by asking what may even sound

like a very simple question. All

right, now answer me truthfully. Which do

you prefer?A sunrise?Or a

sunset. Well, a sunset, I

guess. I thought so.

You're just the type. I might have

known. What a disappointment.

People who prefer sunsets are dreamers.

They always give up. They always look

back instead of forward. I just

might have known you weren't a sunrise

person. Sunrisers are go-getters.

They have ambition and drive. Give me a

person who likes a sunrise every time.

Yes, sir. I'm sorry, Charlie

Brown. If you prefer sunsets to

sunrises, I can't take your case.

You're hopeless. Actually,

I always sort of prefer noon.

Charlie Brown!

It's that time of year again.

Tum tum be dum be dum be dum bum bum.

I'll hold the ball, Charlie Brown, and

you come running up and kick it. OK?

OK

She thinks I'm stupid. She

plans to pull the ball away when I come

running up and kick it. But this year,

I'm going to fool her.

This year, I'm just going to make her

wait. If I have to,

I'll sit here in that house until

midnight.

bee. She's sound asleep.

This is my big chance.

She really slipped up this time.

We fanatics are light sleepers,

Charlie Brown.

Linus has a stupid new green blanket. I

like you, Linus. I like you, and I

admire you. But I could like you even

more if you give up that blanket. I

don't really care if you like me or not.

I look forward to the day when I'll

understand girls.

Hey, Snoopy, I need a favor. Now

listen carefully, you stupid Beagle.

This is what I want you to do for me. I'm

going to try to kick this blanket habit

once and for all, but I need your help.

I want you to keep my blanket for me

and don't give it back no matter how much

I plead. No matter how much I

beg, no matter how desperate I

become. And this isn't

going to be fun. Do my

eyes deceive me?Are you

actually going to bed without your

security blankets?I gave it to

Snoopy to hold for me. I'm going to break

the habit this time if it kills me.

I told him not to give it back no matter

how much I paid. I wouldn't trust that

stupid Beagle with anything.

Why not?I'm sure he's put it away in

very safekeeping.

I haven't slept for two

days. I want my

blanket back. I thought I

could give it up, but I can't. I've

got to have it back. Please give it

back. Please. Please,

come out and bring that blanket with

you. Do you hear me?Come

out. My

blanket. He had my blanket

made into a sport coat. I'm

going crazy. I gave

you that blanket to keep for me, only to

see if I could give it up. And you had

it made into a sport coat.

Do you know what that stupid Beagle of

yours did?He had two sport

coats made out of my blanket. This is all

that's left. It's all your

fault, Charlie Brown, because you own

such a stupid Beagle. Do you know

what I just read in the medical journal?

It said that a person who is deprived of

his blanket by a stupid Beagle

who has it made into a sport coat cannot

survive for more than 48 hours.

That must be an interesting medical

journal. Please let me

touch my blanket. I know it's your

sport coat now. I don't deny

that, but I've got to touch it.

Let me touch your coat, please.

My hands aren't shaking. I'm not

dizzy anymore. My stomach doesn't hurt.

I'm actually hungry. I made it through

the weekend without my blanket. I

did it! I did it! I did it! And I did

it my way. Dear

sister, guess what?

I've broken the blanket habit. I made

it through the weekend without my

blanket. I did it! I did it!

And I did it my way. That's

the screaming and shouting and pounding

on the ground, making a fool out of

yourself way. Linus, I have a

surprise for you. Surprise for you, too,

Charlie Brown. Guess what?

I have finally-- I felt responsible for

losing your blanket, so I bought you a

new one. Oh,

no! I had it licked, and now I'm hooked

again! So I

bought Linus a new blanket. I thought it

was doing the right thing. Hmm

I'm not quite sure how I can put this,

Charlie Brown. But let me say

this. In all of mankind's

history, there has never been more damage

done than by people who thought they were

doing the right thing. Five cents,please.

This is really quite fascinating.

Have you ever read anything about mass

communications, Charlie Brown?It's

interesting to see, Charlie Brown, the

effect the TV programs

have, and things like newspapers and

comic books have on children and

other and other

people, and how we are

sometimes led to believe that

you're not listening.

It's a story I've been reading called The

Pit and the Pendulum by Poe, and it's

about this man. See, who's a

prisoner. He's tied to a table, and this

big pendulum keeps swinging back and

forth above him, getting nearer and

nearer. It sounds like an exciting

story. I'll have to read it. I

think you'd enjoy it. I really do.

Edgar Allan Poe was a riot.

There I was, standing in the front of the

whole class, and I forgot what I was

going to say. I could feel my

face turning red. You know how it feels.

It's like when you're upside down and all

the blood rushes to your head. That's a

good example. Maybe my

faithful dog will rescue me.

Maybe he'll discover that I'm gone and

he'll come looking for me. Dogs have an

unusual sense of loyalty. He's

bound to have missed me.

Every time you think things can't get any

worse, they get worse. This time,

however, I don't know what could be

worse than being tangled in a kite string

and hanging upside down from a tree.

If you're tangled in a kite string and

hanging upside down from a tree, it's

nothing to worry about.

Eventually, the string will get wet from

the rain and dry out in the sun, and then

it will weaken and break.

It's nature's way of protecting the kite

flyer.

Dogs are a stupid lot. Oh, I

don't think so. I think dogs are pretty

smart. I think we're lucky to have dogs

with us. I think having dogs

around has made this a better world.

What's this?Oh, I said a

nice word about dogs. And now he

hangs on me all day. I guess he

appreciated what you said.

Yes, I guess he did.

Schroeder, do you like dogs?Oh,

yes, I'm a great dog lover. I

firmly believe that this is a better

world because of the presence of dogs.

Free. Do you like dogs,

Charlie Brown?Hey, that's not fair.

You have to answer. Oh, good

grief. Yes, I love

dogs. I think having

dogs with us has made this a better

world. Free.

Anybody around here like dogs?How

about it?Are there any dog lovers

around here?Real dog lovers?

How about it?What do you say?

Anyone around here like dogs?How about

it, huhWhat do you say?

Anybody around here like dogs?Huh

Any dog lovers around here?

What's going on, Chuck?All I did is

say something nice about dogs, and

he's been hanging on me ever since. Did

you mean what you said?Sure, I really

like dogs.

He just gave my arm an extra little

squeeze.

Listen to what it says here in the latest

issue of the medical journal. If a

dog hangs on to a person's arm too long.

It could conceivably do that arm serious

damage.

There, now don't say I've never helped

you.

Girls are kind of strange, aren't they?

Oh, I don't know. I think they're pretty

smart. In

fact... I think this is a better world

because of the presence of girls.

Oh, no.