01x02 - Snoopy: Team Manager

[bunniefuu]

As soon as this ground is spaded, I'm

going to organize my garden. I'm going to

plant potatoes, beans and

radishes and peas. Why are you

telling me all this?

Oh, you want me to

spade your garden?I'm not

used to physical labor. Then you should

get used to it. It'll be good for you.

Does this thing have a fast forward?

I need a push.

I think I hate gardening.

I'm exhausted. I can't

move. I'll never be a

farm worker. I can't even

get up.

Just dump me by the side of the road.

I need someone to help me spade mygarden.

There goes the world famous hired hand

going to work.

I should warn you, I can't pay very much.

OK, hired hand, here's what I want you to

do. I need

this whole yard spaded so I

can plant my garden.

Are you sure you've done this kind of

work before?

No way.

I always wondered what happened to

old, worn out, hired hands. What

are you guys doing?We're helping Lucy

plant her garden. First we spaded it.

Now we're planting it.

Actually, we just do what we're told.

Well, it looks very nice. What are you

planting?French fries.

Come on, Rerun. I'm going to take you for

a little walk.

It's about time you got to look at the

outside world. Well,

what do you think?

You mean this is it?

Things aren't the way I expected them to

be. When I was first born,

everyone came around me. But now I never

see anyone. People seemed to

laugh a lot more in those days, too.

I'm only a year old,

and already I'm living in the past.

Is that your brother, Riwan, riding on

the back of your mother's bicycle?Uh-huh

She takes him wherever she goes. She says

riding a bike is such good exercise that

she's already lost 3 pounds. Because

I'm so scared,I lost 5

lbs. There's just

one big hole in the road. See,

every morning Mom pedals her bike

the same way, and it's amazing how

she always never misses it.

This is the part of a ride that I

hate. Every day, this big,

stupid Zerman Shepherd comes running

out and saves his our bicycle.

He doesn't quit until I throw my shoe

at him. I'm running out of shoes.

Look out for that tree!

Look out for that truck! Look out for

that fence! Oh, no!

I hate looking at the road through my

fingers.

There's your mother with rerun on the

back of her bike again. I'm surprised she

doesn't get bored. Well,

I suppose he finds different ways to pass

the time. 89

bottles of beer on the wall.



running around all day on the back of

your mom's bicycle gives you plenty of

time to drink. It gives you time to think

about people. And about life.

And about what would happen if we went

into a tree.

I just know it's gonna happen again. We

leave the grocery store, and I do the

best that I can. But there's this bad

spot in the road, up ahead, and she

just never slows down. Oops,

I was right. It happened again.

So who wants to ride a bicycle in the

rain?Take your vitamin C, she

says. Nothing can harm you if you

take your vitamin C. I have

news for her and everybody else.

Vitamin C does not keep you from getting

wet. Here we

go again, out of the garage.

And full speed ahead. Today it's the

Welfare League, and it's church

breakfast. There's the league of women

voters, followed by a visit to a

library. From there we go to the

hairdresser, then the supermarket,

then the rousing meeting of the

PTA. Considering I don't

do anything, I lead a very active

life. It's been a good day for

bike riding,We haven't hit a

single parked car. We may even make

it home in one piece. The only thing that

worries me is when she parks next to

the hedge. Don't forget to

put the kickstand down.

I like the way your mother handles that

bike. See how she went through the hedge

instead of into the brick wall?Yes,

I must admit that her steering is getting

a little better. Yesterday, we only

hit four parked cars.

Mom is getting better about those

holes in the road, but she still hasn't

learned to avoid those

low branches.

Here we go again, over the curb and out

into the street. On the Valley of Death,

ride to 600, cannon into the

right of them, cannon into the left of

them, into the jaws of death, ride

to 600. And through the yellow

right, three triggers.

And home again in one piece,

I think.

Did anybody get the license number of

that truck?

You know what makes me sick?Seeing you

drag that stupid blanket around.

I hate that blanket. If our

blanket hating Grandma were here, you

wouldn't be so smug. She thinks letting

kids have a security blanket is stupid.

That gives me an idea. I think I'll call

Grandma right now.

Hello, Grandma, could you come over and

see us?I miss you.

This afternoon?Fine. I can

hardly wait till you get here.

You invited our blanket-hating

grandmother over here?

Oh, what a vile scheme.

My blanket-hating grandma is coming to

visit us today. She'll want to take

away my blankets. She's against

kids carrying blankets. She knows

all my tricks. She knows all my hiding

places. I can't keep fooling her

forever. just can't keep...

I've got it!

What did you do?I mailed my blanket to

myself in a self-addressed

envelope. It'll come back

tomorrow after Grandpa is gone.

If it doesn't get lost in the mail, don't

say that.

What do you mean there's no mail for me?

I sent my blanket out in a

self-addressed envelope. I

mailed it to myself. It has to

be here. Do you see it?

Look. Is it there?No, it isn't. My

poor. blanket lost in the

mail. It's

probably in some faraway

country, lying at the bottom

of a mail sack,

suffocating to death.

No mail?My

blanket didn't come again?If

that blanket of mine is lost in the

mail, it's your fault, you know.

They'll have to haul me away kicking and

screaming. I can't live without

that blanket. You know that.

I'm going to write a letter to the

Postmaster General. Dear

General Linus, your blanket came

back. Hurry up. It's here. It came back.

Where?WhereWhere's my blanket?I knew it

would come back. Where is it?Where?Where

Where is it?April Fool.

Hey, Linus, come here. Hurry. Quick.

I don't think your blanket was ever

really lost in the mail at all. I

think it was just delivered to the wrong

address.

I might have known, you stupid

dog. Do you mean to tell

me that my blanket was delivered

to your house by mistake and you

weren't going to let me know about it?

I demand that you return it

immediately.

Come back here with that blanket, you

crazy dog.

Golly, have you ever seen so many

snakes and lizards in all your life?

No. And spiders too.

Spiders too. Yeah,

snakes and lizards and spiders.

And they're all headed this way, you say?

Yeah, there's a whole flock of them,

all headed this way, creeping and

crawling. Snakes and

lizards down.

Someday you're going to have to give up

that blanket. Someday you're going to

have to stand on your own two feet.

Someday you're going to have to grow up

and face life without any help from

anyone.

Someday.

Have you seen our baseball schedule for

this year, Chuck?My team plays your

team 12 times. We slaughter

you twice in April, smash you three

times in May, and ruin you once in

June. We m*rder you twice in July,

annihilate you three times in August,

and pound you once in September. It's a

great schedule, huh, Chuck?

Beautiful.

This year, we're going to stress proper

conditioning. I want each player to

do 20 push-ups every day. How

about one push-up every 20 days?

What a crabby manager. Hey,

manager, I can't do 20 push-ups.

Well, maybe you should just start with



demonstrate. Push-ups can be

very difficult if you're out of shape.

Sometimes it's best to start with just

one.

It's getting dark. I guess that's enough

practice for today. You think I don't

care about our team, don't you, Charlie

Brown?Well, just to show you that I

do, I figured out a way for us to play

night games. Go ahead, go out on

the pitcher's mound and see.

There's another good thing about playing

night games, Charlie Brown. Say you're

pitching a lousy game, see, and we want

to get you out of there. Well, all we

have to do is come out to the mound and

blow out your candle. Poof

I think we better stick to day games.

I was watching this ball game on TV last

year. One of the players got real mad at

the umpire and kicked dirt on him. Like

this. You can learn a lot watching those

games on TV.

Now look here. I don't think you're even

trying.

Come back here. You can't quit the team

before the season even starts. I

shouldn't have accused him of not trying.

Beagle shortstops are so sensitive.

What do we do?Snoopy's quit the team.

All I did was ball him out a little bit.

That's the trouble with that stupid dog.

He's always changing rainbows.

Changing rainbows.

Please come back to the team, Snoopy.

If you'll come back, I'll do anything.

I'll raise your food allowance. You can

play any position you want to.

Why, you can even be manager.

Now what have I done?

I've appointed Snoopy, manager of our

team. Manager?That

stupid beagle is going to be our new

manager?Nothing doing.

Baseball managers don't stand for any

back talk.

This new manager is going to be rough to

play for.

It's kind of nice not being a manager. On

the night before our games, I always used

to lie awake worrying. I wonder if our

new manager is lying awake worrying.

Here we go. The first pitch of theseason.

Good grief, a home run.

Uh oh, our new manager is giving me the

signal to steal second.

You're out!

Well, we lost our first game of the

season. I wonder how our new

manager will take this defeat.

He hates losing. When a

team loses a game, is it the fault of the

players or the manager?Well,

I don't know. It's kind of hard to say

and I... Well, I'm not afraid to say.

When a team loses a game, I think it's

the fault of the manager.

Actually, running a ball club is a very

hard job. If you want, I'll be glad

to take over as manager again. A

kiss on the nose and he's off the hook.

OK, Lucy, I'm manager again. Now

we need to run. And here's what I want

you to do. If you get on 1st, watch for

my signal to steal second. I'll tug my

ear like this. Now, if you get the



clap my hands like this. If you get

the 3rd, and I want you to stay there,

I'll tug my other ear like this. But if I

want you to try and steal home, I'll rub

the front of my shirt like this.

Strike one. Strike two.

Strike three.

That was easier than trying to remember

all those signals.

Throw it by him, Pitcher! He can't hitit!

Hey, Pitcher, are you all right?

You better start taking better care of

yourself. You don't look so good. Your

face is strange. Actually,

you look like you have 10 noses. A

lot of athletes just don't take good care

of themselves. I can't

stand it.