01x23 - Dibble's Birthday

[bunniefuu]

Are those the kind of cars
our men are driving, Flanagan?

Yes, sir, you're looking at

'the best ones, commissioner.'

Well, I won't have it.

Get rid of every one
of them, sergeant.

Every single one.

'There's no room
in a modern police force'

'for broken-down wrecks.'

- 'So get rid of them.'
- 'Yes, sir.'

Excuse me, doc.

I'm Officer Dibble.
I'm due for my physical.

[male #1]
'Uh, would you mind waiting
outside for a moment?'

Eh, speaking about
broken-down wrecks, commissioner

there's one outside now
that ought to be in a museum.

[male #2]
'They hired me
to run a police department.'

'Anything that can't function
properly has got to go.'

"Got to go?"

gulp

[theme song]

♪ Top Cat ♪

♪ The most effectual Top Cat ♪

♪ Who's intellectual close
friends get to call him TC ♪

♪ Providing it's with dignity ♪

♪ Top Cat ♪

♪ The indisputable leader
of the g*ng ♪

♪ He's the boss he's a pip
he's the championship ♪

♪ He's the most tip-top ♪

♪ Top Cat ♪

♪ Yes he's a chief he's a king ♪

♪ But above everything ♪

♪ He's the most tip-top ♪

♪ Top Cat ♪

What a sloppy place.
It's frightening.

I'd better call in
and report this again, as usual.

Hello? Patrolman Dibble here.

[mumbles]
I.. What the..

A soda pop bottle?

That does it. That does it!

I'm gonna round up
that whole Top Cat g*ng

and give them the third degree.

And I know just how to get
them here on the double.

[evil laughter]

clank clank clank clank

- Uh, I'm next, Choo-Choo.
- Sure, Brain, sure.

clank clank clank

- TC!
- Uh, yeah, TC.

Only one thing could drive me
from your arms, honey.

What's that, Fancy?

clank clank clank

That's it. TC!

Oh, men!

clank clank clank clank

Man, like, it's TC.

And a one, cha, cha, cha.
And a two, cha, cha, cha.

And now, Benny, the eight ball

in the side pocket,
the easy way.

clank clank clank

Coming, TC!

Hold it, Benny.

- 'Where're you going?'
- TC's callin'.

I'm right here, Benny, rember?

Well, then who's banging?

I don't know,
but let's find out.

Alright, you guys, confess.

screech

What's the charge this time,
Officer Dibble?

Same old thing.

Only now,
you don't even bother to put

the phone back in the hook.

tsk tsk tsk

Terrible, terrible, terrible.

I will launch
an immediate investigation.

Benny, check the east side.

Choo-Choo, the west side.

- Gotcha, TC.
- Oh, no, you don't, Top Cat.

Fancy and Spook, the Bronx.

Like, uh, okay, TC.

- Now cut that out.
- 'Brain, the East River.'

- Knock it off!
- And I'll check Broadway.

Why, you little..

Come back here, Top Cat.

I'll get you if it's
the last thing I ever do.

Oh, boy, what a temper.

Okay, you guys, all clear.

'Now, rally round, fellows.'

'I wanna check up
on a few bets.'

Anybody know who won
the ball game last night?

I think it was Milwaukee,
Top Cat.

Milwaukee? Thanks, Benny.

You've got it all wrong, Benny.

- It was the Angels.
- The Angels, Fancy?

- Yeah. Five to nothing.
- No, it wasn't.

It was seven to five.

Man, I heard it was,
like, uh, eight to six.

Thanks a lot
and I'm sorry I asked.

- What do you say, Brain?
- Who, uh, me?

- Yeah, who won?
- 'Eh, who was fighting?'

Nevermind. I'll put in
a call on Dibble's phone.

Now, you stick around, Brain.

If you see Dibble coming,
you tell me, okay?

All you gotta say is

"Dibble is coming,"
you got it?

That's not too complicated
for you, is it?

I mean, if you see
Dibble coming, you say

"Dibble is coming," okay?

Ey, Dibble is coming.

Oh, beautiful. Beau-ti-ful.

Now, that's the idea.

Hello, uh,
this is Officer Dibble speaking.

Ey, uh, who won
the ball game last night?

- Dibble is coming.
- What? Wait, hold it.

Yeah, Dibble is coming.

Dibble is coming.

Okay, okay, you got it.

Now, relax, will you?

I'm sorry, will you
give it to me again?

I didn't hear you.

clank clank

Yeah, I was trying
to tell you, TC.

It's okay, Brain.
I got the message.

Dibble has come.

How many times
do I have to tell you?

Lay off my phone.

It's for official
police business.

Hello, Officer Dibble speaking.

- 'Oh, yeah?'
- Oh, hi, sarge.

What's that? Six to four?

- In favor of the Angels?
- Thanks a lot, Dib.

That's all I wanted to know.

Alright, beat it.

No. Oh, not-not you, sarge.

What?

You're wishing me
a happy birthday?

Why, thanks, sarge.

I didn't think you'd rember.

Oh, you just happened to be
going over the records, huh?

I gotta what?

Report for a physical?

How come?

Oh, yeah. The yearly checkup.

Okay. I'll be there.

What? No..

You don't have to send
a wheelchair for me.

I'm in great shape.

Right, sarge.
I'll be seeing you.

So long. Big deal.

You'd think I was pushing 80.

You don't have to worry, Dib.

If things get real tough, you
could always move in with us.

Oh, thanks a lot, TC.

That's awful nice of you.

But for your information

I'm not being retired yet.

If I catch you
using my phone again

I'll throw the book at you.

Let's see.

Oh, here it is.

"Using a police call box

without authorized
permission is a 6-0-2."

First offense
costs you two bucks."

That means you'll start out
owing us a hundred

and the department
don't take any IOU's.

Huh.

Officer Dibble is sure
off his feet, huh, TC?

Well, I don't blame the guy
for not being happy.

When you get around his age,
every birthday counts.

Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't we cheer
Dibble up by having

a birthday party for him?

[Top Cat]
'What? A birthday party
for Dibble?'

Yeah, a surprise party.

You mean you wanna celebrate
the day Dibble was born?

What are you,
some kind of a traitor?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I take it all back.
That's a great idea, Choo-Choo.

You mean, man, like, uh

you're gonna swing
a party for Dibble?

[Top Cat]
'Hold it, hold it, hold it.'

Let me think for a minute, yeah.

I'm getting the picture now.

Sure. Once a year.

Birthday. Oh, why didn't
I think of it before?

Right under my nose
and I never saw it.

I think we better choose
a new leader, fellas.

- TC's flipped.
- Don't you get it?

We tell the neighborhood
we're throwing a party

for Officer Dibble.

For once we got something
legitimate working for us.

We can get anything we want.

Soft drinks,
fancy cakes, cold cuts

a couple of pizzas,
maybe a new TV set

some furniture,
all kinds of goodies.

But what if they, uh,
play it cool?

Like, uh,
what if they don't give?

Don't worry, Spook,
they'll give.

Everybody wants to get in good
with the cop on the beat.

Okay, you got the picture?

This is Operation
Birthday Party.

I want you guys to spread out.

Mingle, mingle, mingle with
the neighborhood storekeepers.

Then pick good places.

We don't want any junk,
you know.

Remind everybody, it's for
one of New York's finest

'after 20 years of service
to our community.'

'Lay it on thick,
you know what I mean?'

But Officer Dibble's only been
on the force ten years, Top Cat.

I will pretend I didn't hear
that last remark.

This is no time for facts,
we want action.

Benny, you take the west side.

Choo-Choo,
you take the east side.

Fancy, you take 5th Avenue.

Spook, you work 7th
in the Village with Brain.

Okay, all set?

Go, adventurers, go.

And bring back souvenirs.

Go, go, go.

swoosh swoosh swoosh

What an idea! It's a gold mine.

We're gonna be rich.

Rich and I owe
it all to Dibble.

Huh.

I don't see any reason
why this physical

should be any tougher
than the others.

As a matter of fact,
I feel great!

Are those the kind of cars
our men are driving, Flanagan?

Yes, sir.

You're looking at
the best ones, commissioner.

Lucky, we've got
a good mechanic in the shop.

'I don't know how he kept them
running this long.'

He's a genius.

Well, I won't have it.

Get rid of every one
of them, sergeant.

Every single one.

'There's no room
in a modern police force'

'for broken-down wrecks.'

- 'So, get rid of them.'
- 'Yes, sir.'

[Flanagan]
'We'll start getting
rid of them today.'

Excuse me, doc.

I'm Officer Dibble.
I'm due for my physical

[male #1]
'I'll be right
with you, Dibble.'

'Uh, would you mind
waiting outside for a moment?'

Sure, no rush.

Eh, speaking about
broken-down wrecks, commissioner

there's one outside now
that ought to be in a museum.

[male #2]
'Well, they hired me
to run a police department'

'not the Smithsonian Institute.'

'Anything that can't function
properly has got to go.'

"Got to go?"

[Flanagan]
'As matter of fact'

'we're running some of them
through a test now.'

'I'll be glad to send
you the report.'

Fine, I'll expect
that report on my desk

first thing in the morning.

Alright, Dibble,
you can come in now

and we'll get started.

Uh, Dibble, let's go.

Huh? What?

Oh.. Oh, sure, doc.

[male #1]
'Now just take a seat there'

'while I get your
records out, old man.'

"Old man?"

[Dibble]
'"J, S, P, C'

'"I, W, H, X, U'

L, M.."

I mean, N.

No. It's a-it's an M, I guess.

Uh-huh.

Well, that's fine, officer.

Uh, that takes care
of the eye test.

'What is that last letter,
doc, an M or an N?'

It was a G.

What? A G!

'Have you had any trouble
with eye strain lately?'

'Headaches?
Spots in front of your eyes?'

Gee, no, doc.
I-I feel fine. Honest.

Well, don't hesitate
to come in if you do.

Sometimes men
approaching your age

require glasses for reading.

It's nothing to be
alarmed about.

Yeah. I'll bet.

'Just part of
the aging process, that's all.'

'Now, if you'll just
step this way'

'I'll leave you
with Officer Dooley'

'for the rest of your physical.'

Twenty-four,
twenty-five, twenty-six.

'Okay, Mullendorf.
That's enough.'

'Twenty-seven, twenty-eight.'

'Okay, okay.'

'Twenty-nine, thirty.'

'Okay, Mullendorf.
That's enough.'

Start the pushups.

Dooley, this is Officer Dibble.

- Hi, Dibble.
- Hi, doc.

Uh, just run him through
the regular tests.

Okay, doc.

Be with you in a minute, Dibble.

Take your time.

[Dooley]
'Hey, Mullendorf,
how many pushups so far?'

- Forty-five.
- Forty-five?

[Mullendorf]
'Forty-six,
forty-seven, forty-eight..'

Okay, okay.

You can take a breather
for a while.

[Mullendorf]
'Okay, Dooley.'

Good man, that Mullendorf.
Like iron.

'Alright, Dibble, you're next.'

'On the chinning bar.
Let's go, Dibble.'

Huh? Oh, sure, sure.

'Take it easy.
Don't strain yourself.'

'Get up to about 20
and see how you feel.'

Twenty?

All set now?

One. All the way up, Dibble.
That's it.

Two. You're doing fine.

'Three. Only 17 more to go.'

[grunting]

[panting]

What's keeping those guys?

We should've had
some happy returns

on Dibble's birthday by now.

[Choo-Choo]
'Make room, TC, here we come.'

We got everything
but where do we put it?

[Top Cat]
Wowee. Wowee, wow-wow-wow!

You were right, TC.

Everybody likes Officer Dibble.

[Spook]
'Like, uh, more loot coming up.'

Put it down, men.
I wanna count the items.

I could've, like, had more,
but I couldn't carry the stuff.

Yeah, they all wanted
to chip in with something.

I'll go back for some more.

[Top Cat]
'Forget it, we'll make
the rounds next year'

with a truck.

This is a king's ransom
as it is. Let me see.

TV set, toaster,
alarm clock, cowboy hat.

- Cowboy hat?
- Yeah.

You said to try
every store, TC, so I--

[Top Cat]
Oh, well. Slippers, egg timer,
shoehorn, razor--

Like, uh,
what time's the party, TC?

Foot powder,
shaving cream, six pizzas.

[Spook]
'I said, like, uh,
what time's the party?'

A dozen hot dogs. What party?

Outdoor barbecue,
cigarette lighter.

The party for Officer Dibble.

You know, the surprise party?

[Top Cat]
'Oh, that. I don't think
we'll have time for it.'

'It's gonna take us
quite a while'

to hock all these items
you brought back.

Let me see,
we ought to be able to get

at least ten on the toaster

five on the clock, easy.

I don't think we'll get much
for the dozen hot dogs.

'So we'll just keep
them for ourselves.'

'Now this TV set
is worth plenty.'

'Somebody give me a hand.
How about you, Choo-Choo?'

Do you mean you're gonna hock

Officer Dibble's
birthday presents?

[Top Cat]
'What else?
I told you we had a gold mine.'

We'll make a fortune,
somebody give me

a hand with this TV set.

How about it, Benny-boy?

Gee, TC,
I don't think it's right

to hock
Officer Dibble's presents.

- They were for his birthday.
- 'Birthday.'

Birthday, birthday.
Don't you get it?

That was the whole idea.

We ought to be able
to get a 100 bucks

for all this stuff, easy.

Don't you get it, really?
You explain it to him, Spook.

Not me, man.
I don't like the idea either.

- Uh, hocking Dibble's presents.
- 'You don't, huh?'

[Top Cat]
'Okay, you tell him, Fancy.'

Not me, TC. Count me out.

[Top Cat]
'Oh? How about you, Brain?
You understand, right?'

Oh, sure, Top Cat.
I like the idea.

[Top Cat]
'There you are. You see?
I got somebody who can think.'

'Somebody who's
a realist, practical--'

I mean, uh, I like the idea

of a birthday party for Dibble.

- 'Huh?'
- Yeah.

You can't give somebody's
birthday presents away.

- Uh, that's sneaky.
- What? Sneaky?

Brain's right, TC.

What is the matter
with you guys?

You know how I operate.
Like that Cat Robin Hood.

We take from the rich
and we give to the poor.

And who can be poorer
than us? Huh?

We need Dibble's presents
more than he does.

Next year, we'll let him
keep everything, okay?

[Fancy]
'No dice, TC.'

- But I just explained--
- 'It ain't fair, TC.'

Okay, okay, I'm not a mean guy.

I'll tell you what I'll do,
I'll put aside a few things

that he can really use.

'Here you are. Razor blade,
soap, shoe polish.'

- Oh, but--
- 'Okay, okay.'

'I'll throw in the foot powder.'

Nope. It's gotta be everything.

- Yeah. I'm with Choo-Choo.
- Everything?

Do you guys realize
that you're kicking away

a fortune in negotiable goods?

You're letting sentiment
interfere with your brains.

It's the only decent thing
to do, TC.

Decent? Decent?

We won't get another chance
like this in a million years.

Why should we give
it all to Dibble?

- Because it's his birthday.
- Oh, there's that word again.

Again with the birthday bit.

Alright, alright, I'll give in.

[Choo-Choo]
'No kidding, TC? That's swell.'

Sure. Why fight it?

I don't want you guys
to think I'm cheap.

Come on, we'll buy him
a birthday card, okay?

Well, that's about it, Dibble.
You can get dressed now.

I'll fill in
the rest of this report

and leave it
with Sergeant Flanagan.

- 'Uh, how do you feel?'
- Uh, just great, doc.

Say, what's the name
of that place

they got in Washington?

You know,
for all those old relics?

Oh. You mean
the Smithsonian Institute?

Yeah, that's the one.

I think maybe I'll be
paying them a visit soon.

Oh, I'm sure you'll find it
very interesting.

'Uh-huh.'

So long, Dibble.
I'll be seeing you.

'Yeah, if you happen
to be in Washington'

'drop in and say hello.'

'I'll be with the rest
of the old fossils.'

We're gonna have to find
someplace to stash this stuff.

You guys
know how mad Dibble gets

if we clutter up the place.

Anyone got any ideas
where to put it?

We don't have time to move it.

Here comes Dibble now.

[Top Cat]
'Uh-oh, he'll probably
ask a lot of questions.'

'I'll see if I can stall him.'

Hiya, Dib. How did it go?

Hey, Dib, wait.

screech

I guess you didn't hear me.

How did it go at the physical?

- The-the physical?
- Yeah, how did it go?

I did great. Just great.

What's all this stuff?

Oh, that, well, it's, uh

just a few things
we picked up, Dib.

We're fixing the place up.

Oh, okay. Take it easy, fellas.

See you around. Maybe.

Well, what do you know?

I was expecting him
to throw the book at us.

"Okay," he says.
"Take it easy," he says.

Yeah, like, how about that?

What do you think
is the matter, TC?

[Top Cat]
'Wait a minute,
wait a minute. Hold it. Yeah.'

I think I got it.

- Sure, that's it.
- What's it?

We can all relax now, men.

From now on, we've got it made.

- 'Uh, I don't get it, TC.'
- You don't get it?

It's so simple.

It means that Dib probably
flunked his physical.

And that means he won't be
in our hair anymore.

Gee, you mean
they're gonna fire Dibble?

No, no, no, no,
not fire, Benny-boy.

They retire him.

They put him out
to pasture, so to speak.

Boy, now he can really use
a party to cheer him up.

- Like, yeah.
- Right.

Uh, yeah.

Well, what are you all
looking at me for?

Can I help it
if he flunked his physical?

I got nothing to do with
police department regulations.

Poor, old Dib.

Yeah, he'll never know
how everybody liked him.

[Top Cat]
'Okay, okay, you want
a birthday party for Dibble?'

Okay, I'll bring him back.

Can he have
all his presents too?

Now, that's
a pretty dumb question.

Of course he can.
It's his birthday, ain't it?

Hey, Dib, wait up.

'Hold it, will you, Dib?'

'You went by so fast,
I didn't get a chance'

'to tell you before, Dib.'

screech screech

The boys and I would like
to wish you a happy birthday.

Dib, did you hear me?

Hey, Dib, I said we wanna
wish you a happy birthday.

Yeah, happy birthday is right.

I can celebrate becoming
a broken-down wreck.

Boy, it sure sneaks up
on you fast.

screech screech

Hey, Dib, can your hear me?

[Dibble]
In one day, just one day,
I become a has-been.

Many happy returns
of the day, sir.

[Benny]
'What happened, TC?'

He went right by us
like we weren't even here.

I don't know. Looks like we're
not getting through to him.

Hey, I got an idea.
Maybe it'll cheer him up.

- Make noise. A lot of noise.
- What kind of noise?

Any kind of noise.
Just so there's a lot of it.

Hold it, Dib! Not so fast.

Come on Dib, hold it!
It's an emergency. A 4-0-9.

clank clank clank

Do you hear that,
Officer Dibble?

If you turn them in,
you'll get a promotion for sure.

A promotion?
Don't make me laugh.

I'm through.
I'm turning in my badge.

- What happened?
- He's turning in his badge.

But, gee, what about the party?

You saw what happened,
Benny-boy.

I tried, didn't I?

Isn't that Dibble
up ahead, Kowalski?

Yep. Looks like him.

Well, uh, pull up by him.

There's something
I wanna say to him.

screech

Hiya, Dib. I, uh..

Hey, Dibble.

'Hey, Dibble!'

Huh? Oh, hi, sarge.

Sorry, I didn't see you.

I wanted to congratulate you.

It was a pretty good score
you ran up on your physical.

Very good.

- Are you kidding?
- Why, no.

As a matter of fact

you got the highest mark
in your group.

Yeah, I'll bet.

Not bad for a broken-down wreck,
I guess. Huh?

[Flanagan]
'What do you mean?'

You can forget
the snow job, sarge.

I heard what you said.

All about the old relics
you've got in the department.

Yeah, we got some cars

that are really ready
for the junk heap.

They're not safe to drive.

Cars? Did you say cars?

Yeah, I was pointing this one
out to the commissioner.

Some heap, huh?

You mean, you mean

that's what you were
talking about?

- Cars?
- Well, sure.

What did you think?

You didn't think
we were talking about you?

Yeah, I was just on my way
over to turn in my badge.

[Flanagan]
'Well, of all the nutty'

half-baked, knuckleheaded ideas.

Don't you know you're one
of the best men we got?

No kidding, sarge!

No, I'm not kiddin'.

Now, uh, isn't it time
you got back on the job?

Yes, sir.

Well, carry on, man.

- Carry on.
- Yes, sir.

And I'll be thanking
the sergeant

for the good news, sir.

Hey, TC, Officer Dibble
just turned into the alley.

Okay, we'll give him
his last chance.

When he gets to his call box

I want you to all say
"Happy birthday" real loud.

Now, put some feeling into it.

Ready now, group?
And a one and a two--

[Dibble]
Hold it. Hold it.

What's all this junk doing
around my call box?

I thought I told you guys

I don't want anything
cluttering up this alley.

What is this stuff, anyway?

'The minute my back is turned,
you load up.'

Holy mackerel.

An electric clock
and all these other things.

I get it now.

Handling hot merchandise, huh?

Don't you know
that's against the law?

Oh, I never thought
you'd stoop to becoming

a fence for stolen goods, TC.

But it figures.

'I thought you were getting
too smart for your britches.'

Look, Dib,
you got it all wrong.

No, don't.

Don't give me any
of your phony excuses.

I'm calling
for the wagon right now.

What's this stuck
in my call box?

More of your loot?

Read it, loudmouth,
and you'll see.

"To Officer Loudmouth."
Uh, I mean, "Dibble.

"To the best officer
on the force

from Top Cat and the boys."

Gee, gosh.
I don't know what to say.

Well, you didn't have
any trouble thinking

what to say a minute ago.

This present goes with
the card, Officer Dibble.

For me?

'Oh, my gosh. A whistle.'

'A gold-plated whistle.'

Gee, fellas.
That's what I always wanted.

Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.

Well, go ahead
and try it out. Blow.

Yeah, sure.

[whistle blowing]

Oh, beautiful. Just beautiful.

Gosh, I..

Well, uh, gee..

I'll see you later, fellas.

Look at that.

He's so happy, he could cry.

Who would ever have thought

Dibble would break up
over one little old present?

Hey, we, like, forgot to give
Dibble the rest of his presents.

You're right. Come on, Spook,
help me carry the TV set.

I've got the cigarette lighter.

- Wait for me, fellas.
- 'Hey, now hold it .'

[Top Cat]
'Don't lose your heads, man.'

Wait a minute.
Let's not be hasty.

thud

Wait. Officer Dibble,
we have more presents for you.

[Top Cat]
'Oh, come on, fellas.'

'The hockshop might
still be open.'

'You're giving away a fortune.'

Wait, Dib. Like, there's more.

He's happy with what he's got.
Why spoil him?

[Choo-Choo]
'Happy birthday, Dib.'

[Brain]
'Yeah, three cheers
for Officer Dibble.'

Oh, well, if you can't
beat 'em, join 'em.

Wait for me too, Dib.
Happy birthday.

Happy.. Here goes all the loot.

Happy birthday.

[theme song]

♪ Top Cat ♪

♪ The most effectual Top Cat ♪

♪ Who's intellectual closefriends get to call him TC ♪

♪ Providing it's with dignity ♪

♪ Top Cat ♪

♪ The indisputable
leader of the g*ng ♪

♪ He's the boss he's a pip
he's the championship ♪

♪ He's the most tip-top ♪

♪ Top Cat ♪

[instrumental music]

♪ Yes he's a chief ♪

♪ He's a king
but above everything ♪

♪ He's the most tip-top ♪

♪ Top Cat ♪