04x05 - Day of the Stackal / The Dave N' Dave

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

Stop shaking cows!

That's not how you make a milkshake!

♪♪

Scaredy: [whispering] gotta stay focused.

Creamed corn is the second hardest thing to stack.

[Loud whisper] what's first?

[Whispers] marbles.

[Gasps] I love marbles!

[Creamed corn rumbles and splatters]

Did you have to scream marbles?

I didn't scream marbles!

This is me screaming marbles!

Maaaarbllles!!!

Momma: stop yelling marbles

Or I'm gonna lose my marbles!

[Yelling] sorrrrrrrrryyyy!

Mrs. Nestor's mother,

I didn't mean to yell in the store, I was just-

Silence!

This is chipper curtsy, greeting guru.

He's gonna fix this train wreck of a store

And get some customers in here.

[Wind gusts]

Dave: [giggles]

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Wow! Impressive shake.

Don't I know you from somewhere?

Maybe you're familiar with my work.

Scaredy: "greet, shake, love."

Chipper: it's a best-seller.

Greeters are the future of grocery shopping

And this store needs a greeter.

Makes good sense.

Everyone loves a pleasant hello.

Not me.

[Phone rings]

Don't even try it.

Hello.

[Cries]

Guy: all right, nestor,

You have 30 seconds

To get your mother to say today's secret word: "hello."

Go!

Not goodbye, but...

Get out!

What you say to someone when you first see them?

You're fired!

A friendly greeting.

Pass.

You can't pass.

Momma: don't tell me what I can't do!

Whatever it takes to get some customers in here.

You need to find the perfect greeter.

Someone who loves the stash "n" hoard

More than anything.

[Watch beeps] aw, shucks!

Is it getting close

To the end of my shift already?

♪ My lovely working day is sadly nearly done ♪

♪ But there's a silver lining

♪ And so I won't be glum

♪ 'Cause I'm coming back tomorrow ♪

♪ And I can hardly wait

♪ I'll be at the front door at a quarter afffter eighhht! ♪

Chipper: does he do this often?

Every day.

Then he is your greeter!

Wow! Awesome!

But what about my stacking?

I'm sure you can still stack.

You'd just need to manage your time.

Chipper: [overreacting] no!

[Clears throat] greeting is the only thing that'll save this store.

In fact, place your hand here

To swear to the greeter oath.

Do you, scaredy squirrel,

Promise to greet customers faithfully

And to always be cheerful?

Sure, but I just don't-

And do you swear to forego all other duties

Which would interfere with your duties as a greeter,

Including stacking?

I just don't know if I can never stack!

Scaredy, you could save this store!

[Gulps]

I'll do it.

For the good of the store!

I will be the greeter and I will not stack again!

Hey! I'm scaredy! Welcome!

Shop! Help? Me! Enjoy.

[Sighs] phew!

Look at you...

Just sitting there looking like nothing.

What's that?

You wanna be stacked into a giant molar?

[Sighs] I know, I wish I could.

But I took an oath.

Dave! Scaredy?

I see you're talking to toothpaste now.

I just really miss stacking.

I know it's rough, buddy.

But just think, as bad as it is right now,

It's gonna get way harder

The longer you go without stacking!

Uh... Thanks.

My pleasure.

[Sighs]

Mmm... Grocery carts.

You could stack into a sailboat or a mouse trap,

Or a bigger grocery cart.

[Deep breaths]

No! I am not an animal!

I mean technically, sure, but still.

I took an oath!

The needs of the stash "n" hoard must come first!

You're a greeter now.

No more stacking.

For any reason. Ever.

Nope.

Nooope.

Nope. Nope. Nope, nope. Nope. Nope.

Well, this is just silly.

Tv announcer: tonight, on stackbeat tv,

We talk to the world's greatest stackers.

[Tv clicks off, scaredy yawns]

I should get to be- [snoring]

Chipper: we said no stacking,

Or didn't you hear?

I heard it. I'm not stacking.

Really? [Chuckles]

Are you sure about that?

[Snoring]

Did i... Stack?!

[Wind gusts]

[Police radio chatter]

Scaredy: [gasps]

Oh no!

Cop: "oh no" is right!

It's stacking vandalism!

We got a stacking vandal -

A stackal! -

And he's gonna be in big trouble!

Like big trouble?

Oh yeah.

This kind of crime could get someone a verbal warning.

A verbal warning?

[Whimpers]

Dave, I think I stacked those grocery carts

In my sleep!

I-i might be... The stackal.

As soon as I saw it, I said, "scaredy did this!"

Then the cop said, "what?"

And I said, "I wasn't talking to you."

And he said, "okay."

We have to make sure I don't do that again.

No more sleeping.

Ever!



Who? Why? What?

Just come by my place tonight and help me stay awake.

The un-sleep guru is at your service.

[Snoring]

Scaredy: but, dave, I don't want to fall asleep,

Remember?

You're here to keep me awake so I don't stack.

Exactly!

And now you're too busy being cozy in bed

And drinking warm milk to sleep!

But dave- [glug]

Ahh! Tut, tut, tut.

You just lie there all comfy and alert

While I tell you a story.

[Yawns loudly] please, dave, don't!

Dave: [soothingly] once upon a time,

A handsome, fluffy squirrel prince

Was sunning himself on a lily pad

Beside a babbling-

[Snoring]

I guess he changed his mind about staying awake.

Now I have to eat this whole turkey by myself.

Mmm... [Chomping]

Scaredy: [panting]

Desert good. Nothing to stack.

Oh no!

Scaredy, these grapes are the grapeyest grapes on grapes!

Mmm... Grapes!

Scaredy, whatchya doing?

Nothing!

Huh?

Agggghhhhh!

Ahhhhh!

[Gasps]

Oh no.

[Phone rings]

[Gasps]

Ewwww...

Aggghhhh!

Runswell: wha-? Wh-where am i?

Ohhh! That is it!

If this stacking vandalism continues,

I will have no choice but to ban stacking in balsa...

Forever!

[Gasps]

If only we could be sure who was doing this.

This isn't funny, dave!

If I can't fix my sleep issue,

Stacking will be banned forever!

Hey, I used to suffer

From a nighttime issue of my own:

Sleep eating.

Really?

Yep. I cured it,

And you can too,

With the help of dr. Woolworth

And his fabulous sleep machine!

Why wouldn't you have told me about this

Like a week ago?

Well, that would have made for a pretty short episo-

I mean adventure.

Uh, try to relax, scaredy.

What does this dreamalyzer machine do anyway?

Uh, it allows you to explore your subconscious mind

And see the true message of your dreams.

That's amazing!

How does it work?

I don't know.

The manual was in swedish

And I'm pretty sure I put it together wrong.

I had a lot pieces left over.

Det kan inte vara bra.

I don't wanna do this anymore!

Dream sequence initiated... [Machine whirs and fizzles]

I think.

[Snores]

[Groans]

[Loud thud, cat screeches]

Chipper: marbles are the hardest thing in the world to stack.

I know.

That's why I would never try to stack them.

That's it!

In my dream, I was stacking marbles,

But I don't stack marbles!

Dave, do you know what this means?

You've lost your marbles?

No! I'm not the stackal!

Scare, that doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't matter! Now let's save balsa!

This is the last of it.

We've removed every potential stackable object

From the streets of balsa!

Yes! Why?

The only thing that's left to stack are these marbles.

The stackal won't be able to resist trying to stack them,

And while he's fumbling away,

We swoop in with the police!

Marbles?! I love marbles!

Yes. I think you mentioned that earlier.

Scaredy: a-ha! We caught you red-

Chipper?!

You're the balsa stackal?

You've almost got it right, scaredy squirrel.

Jimmy stackyarty!

That's right, and I'm here to-

Dave: whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

I got no clue who jimmy stackyarty is.

Can we get a flashback please?

Scaredy and chipper: fiiine.

Years ago, when I was attending rookie stack camp,

Jimmy stackyarty and I were neck and neck

For the best new stacker award.

We should have been best friends,

But jimmy was obsessed with marbles.

No I wasn't!

Stop ruining the flashback!

Whoa!

Scaredy: one of his failed marble stacks injured our professor

And jimmy was expelled before graduation.

Chipper: this isn't over, scaredy squirrel!

I will have my revenge! [Evil laugh]

I will have my revenge! [Tires screech]

Here comes the fuzz!

So this is the notorious balsa stackal, huh?

Okay, bub, you're comin' with me.

Scaredy, please.

It's over, jimmy.

I'm so close!

Can't you give me a chance to finish this

Before they take me away?

Please?! For the love of stacking.

[Sniffling]

Dave, are you crying?

I didn't think you cared about stacking.

I don't. I'm allergic to marbles.

[Pre-sneeze inhales]

Noooooooo!

[Big sneeze]

[Screams]

Jimmyyyyyyy!

Jimmy: [malevolent laugh]

This isn't over, squirrel!

Scaredy: jimmy! Thank goodness you're okay!

Stop being nice!

I will have my revenge!

[Evil laugh]

Scaredy: okay! It was great seeing you again!

It was good to see you- no, I mean...

Revvveennnnnge!

[Evil laugh]

I love your costume!

Thanks! I made it mysel- oh!

Revennnnnngggge!

He seemed nice.

Yeah. Jimmy's a great guy.

♪♪

Momma: arggghhh!

That apron is filthy!

Uh... No it's not.

Don't tell my mother she's wrong!

[Splash]

Momma: these wieners are two small!

Ow! [Gags and coughs]

What's with the toothpicks?

Nestor: don't you hurt my mommy!

[Belches]

Momma: the tone is all wrong. Do it again.

[Loud belch]

You're here! I need you here!

Here! [Roaring belch]

Yikes.

They're in a mood today.

We'd better be on our best behaviour.

Okay, dave?

Ahhhh!

What're you doing?

Throwing a ginormous wheel of cheese

Down the aisle.

Duh! That's not a good idea!

Nestor: what's not a good idea?

Nothing. Not anything.

Doin' nuttin'. That's what we're doin'.

Scaredy's doing nuttin'.

I'm gonna bowl this wheel of cheese

Into those turkey legs.

It'll hit that turtle...

Over mildred's conveyor belt,

Outside the store,

Back inside the store,

Nothing but turkey legs!

Momma: you'll never make that shot.

I'll never not make that shot.

If you make that shot,

I'll give you the deed to the store.

Yeah! She'll give him the- what?!

Scaredy: maybe we oughta think this through before-

Dave: cheese away!

[Smack]

[Pitchfork tones, mildred belches to match it]

[Cars honk, cheese pings]

[Metallic clank]

[Hard thump]

[Cheese pings off walls]

Scaredy: well, I guess that's that.

[Dave farts, turkey legs clatter]

Oopsie!

[Gasps]

Sometimes you bet the store

On a wheel-of-cheese- turkey-legs-gamble

And you lose.

Nestor: no! Mommaaa! Nooo!

Scaredy: mrs. Nestor's mother,

You can't let dave run the store!

Which I have no doubt you'd be excellent at!

Please! I beg you! Rethink this!

I can't believe I'm saying this but...

Listen to the squirrel! Waah!

Momma: too late! I'm gone!

Peace out!

Nooooo! Agh!

This is not good.

[Rooster crows]

Scaredy: morning, dave.

How's your first day as owner going?

I'm takin' a hands-off approach.

The place kinda runs itself anyway.

Mildred: my cash register is outta change.

Oh. Okay. So, uh, what?

Well, normally, nestor would just go to the bank-

We're out of bananas, apples, and oranges,

Plums, mangos, peaches, pineapples, prunes,

And pears! [Screams]

That's every vegetable I know!

What do we do?

Well, nestor would just order mor-

Wee-eee! Woo-hoooo!

Dave, you can't just ignore these problems!

You're in charge now.

Sometimes ignoring things is good.

That's how I got so many cavities!

[Flies buzz, odor hisses]

That's not a good thing!

I'll restock the produce and get some change.

But you're the boss now;

You have to run this place.

But I don't know anything about-

[Gasps] everything I say tastes minty!

Dave, this is your chance to make the store

Into what you've always wanted it to be.

Mildred: still outta change.

What I've always wanted it to be?

[Gasps] I think I'm getting an idea!

[Farts]

False alarm.

[Whistling]

Mildred, I got some change at the bank...for...youuuu!

Customer: aggggghhhhhh! Employee: yee-haw!

[Screaming]

Yip, yip, yippee!

Yee-haw!

Scaredy: yeah. Okay. Buck, what's going on?

It's cowboy tuesday.

I didn't see anything about cowboy tuesday

On the bulletin board.

Dave leaves his messages under the rock

Outside the store.

Tuesdays are now cowboy day.

Gently... Gen-tl-y.

Oh.

Wheel of prices? When did this happen?

Mildred: [belches]

Round and round it goes,

Where it stops, nobody- free groceries!

Moooo! [Horn bellows]

You can't give away free groceries!

Dave's rules.

You pay $1000!

That's not a very good spin.

Philmore: [crying]

Dave: closing time, everybody!

Scaredy: dave, it's 12:30 in the afternoon.

You can't close the store!

Hey, hey, who's the boss here?

[Lights click off]

Scaredy: this is still not good.

[Cat screeches]

Dave, we really need to talk.

You remade the entire office out of gelatin?

Agh!

And it was not cheap.

So what's up, buddy?

Be gentle with her!

[Loud crash]

Last time bertha was moved,

Someone switched on her turbo-boost setting.

[Relaxed sigh]

Aghhhh!

Aww. Bad times, bad times.

What were you saying, scaredy?

Maybe you need some help running the stash "n" hoard.

You don't think I'm not a good boss?

Mmm... Anyway...

I brought you an audio book that might help.

The seven highly effective things

That get done by highly effective people

When they're being highly effective!

I hear it's pretty effective.

Give it a listen when you get a chance.

I should get back to work.

Or we could lock the doors,

Fill the store with water,

And pretend we're in an aquarium!

M-may-maybe you could listen to it now.

[Slurps]

Narrator: hello and welcome to the seven highly effective things

That get done by highly effective people.

[Snoring]

Narrator: ...and we can't stress this enough,

You need to expand the profit margin!

...have we mentioned that you really need to expand

The profit margin?!

And now you are an effective boss!

[Snorts] aghhhhh!

Wow. This audio book is goooooood.

Hey, mildred, need any change?

Dave has me all topped up. [Belches loudly]

Dave has us all covered!

Wow, I guess that cd really worked!

Why are you standing still?

We'll never maximize the efficiency

Of the dave "n" dave like this.

The dave "n" dave?

I renamed the store to make it more profit expanded,

Margarinely speaking, of course.

I... I don't know what that means.

It means... Get to work!

Hmm... Expand! Aggghhhh!

The profit!

Margarine!

Phew!

Expand the profit margarine!

Ugh!

Dave: [over pa system] staff meeting! Now!

All right, everyone,

Dividends and third quarter mandibles are to be expected.

The assets are spiraling upward...

...and that's why the moon has a face.

Questions?

What was that you said about fudge?

Yummy.

Any other questions?

All right then, meeting over-adjourned.

Now it's time to run the dress rehearsal

For tomorrow's work day.

[Everyone gasps]

What do you think you're doing?

Eating a banana.

Very profit margariney.

Nice work, buck.

I'm gary.

Dave: did you just correct me?

Okay, everyone,

We're going again from the top,

Thanks to buck!

Way to go.

But I didn't do anything!

I need to find momma and get her back in charge!

Nestor: welcome aboard "who cares" tours.

If you look to your left

You'll see another balsa city tourist trap.

Momma: shut your tourist trap

And read from the script I wrote.

I can't. I dropped it in the water.

You what?! Agghhhhhh!

[Vehicles screech]

[Screaming]

Momma and nestor!

[In slow-motion] whoooaaaaaaaaaa!

Ungh!

Oh, thank goodness I found you two.

Welcome aboard!

Five bucks! Hand it over!

Mrs. Nestor's mother, can you please-

Save your questions until the end of the tour

When I'm gone.

The stash "n" hoard needs you back!

Dave's being the bossiest boss that ever bossed!

So the skunk is being bossy, huh?

Bossier then me?!

Yes.

[Growls angrily]

Nobody exploits my employees but me!

Nestor, turn this bus around!

We've got a store to take back!

[Tires squeal] yes, mother!

Scaredy: I have an idea.

You'll get the store back by betting dave

You can ride bertha on turbo mode.

Piece of cake.

Let's just get to the trainin' montage!

Momma: agghhh! Agghhh!

[Blows whistle]

Aggghhhhhhhh!

Agh!

[Chicken clucks]

Momma: whoa! Ahhhhh!

[Screams]

Ungh!

Blaaawww...

[Machine whirs]

A good manager keeps the customers on their toes.

Hello, dave. Scaredy.

[Splat]

Momma thinks she can ride bertha on turbo.

No you can't! No one can!

It's impossible!

Is that right?

Scaredy: a-ha!

Well, how about if momma can do it

She wins the store back!

Dave: on second thought, I bet she can do it.

In fact... Here.

Whoa! That is a load off my chest.

That was like way easier than I thought it would be.

Oh no! I hope you didn't do a big training montage.

[Angry groans]

Scaredy: dave! Wait up!

Are you still going to ride bertha?

I think you can do it!

Go, momma! Go, momma! Go, mom- gah!

[Panicked screaming]

Aaggghhhhhh!

[Whistling]

Dave: running the store wasn't for me,

But I kinda liked having a job.

I have an idea of something you might enjoy.

Now, if you look down, you'll see your feet!

[Hard clang]

[Water glugs]

And water - lots and lots of water.