04x03 - Abracagrandma / Momma Lisa Smile

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

Stop shaking cows!

That's not how you make a milkshake!

♪♪

Scaredy: lemonade... Check!

Palm trees... Check!

Warm breeze...

Check!

[Relaxed sigh]

Can't think of a better way to spend my day off.

[Phone rings] nestor: scaredy!

I need you to come into work immediately!

Wow! There is a better way to spend a day off.

Working!

Momma and grandmomma are coming in

To see the new display for magic minute meatloaf!

What display for magic minute meatloaf?

Exactly!

Get down here and make a display, pronto!

I'll be right there, nestor!

Richard, I get to go to work!

Hmm... A magic minute meatloaf display.

What... To... Doooo.

A magic wand? A magician's cape?!

"The magic meatloaf book of recipes and spells."

I've got it!

The display should be a giant catfish

Fighting a lizard on a rooftop.

Or it could have something to do with magic?

Bah! There's no time to hate your idea.

Just do what you want!

[Excited chatter]

Grandmomma: start the show!

I'm ready to hate it!

Ahem.

Abracadabra, meaty-maroo...

Make me the perfect dinner for two!

And while we wait one whole minute

For the magic minute meatloaf to cook,

I will dazzle you with this amazing trick!

My trusty assistant, dave, will-

The great dave-aca-pocus!

Crowd: [cheers and applause]

Will magically switch places with this watermelon!

Booo-ring! Cut him in half!

Zip it, mother!

I do the heckling around here.

Cut him in half!

Scaredy: ala-ma-bama, tenne-ma-see,

Switch me this skunk for the melon I see!

Ahhh! I-i must've said it wrong.

Ha-ha! Look, scare!

That watermelon has legs just like-

[Realizes] agh!

Scaredy: quick! Somebody catch that melon!

Momma: get on with the show!

Scaredy: sorry, dave. I'll fix you in a sec.

For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer!

Grandmomma: right here, bucko!

Momma: careful with grandmomma, squirrel!

Her bones are made out of dust and old cheese!

Alrighty.

Up on the magic pedestal we go.

You harm one hair on her head...

[Gulps]

Grandmomma: magic time!

Make me young again!

Gimme fangs! Turn me into a lion!

Scaredy: [laughs] crazy.

Just stay nice and still.

Magic minute meatloaf is so delicious

That it'll vanish right before your very eyes...

Like this.

Where have you gone, where could you be,

Make this bird vanish from me!

[Shocked gasps]

Wow! I mean, uh, ta-da!

Now bring her back!

She can't be late for her sleep-and-be-fit class.

Um...ziggity-zoom and kalamazoo,

Bring her back better than new!

[Loud poof and fart]

O-okay, o-okay, okay, this'll do it!

Hoggity-h*-memory-lane,

Make that old lady appear again!

[Loud poof, cow moos]

Momma: if you don't bring her back right now,

I'll make you disappear!

I'll bring her back, I will...

Uh, right after this short,

Suspiciously placed intermission!

And nobody eat any watermelons with feet!

Great trick, scare!

So where did you hide her? Up your sleeve?

No! She's gone!

Speaking of gone,

Did you happen to see where my legs went?

[Panting]

Mayor runswell: and first place goes to...

A watermelon with legs!

[Covers microphone] call a doctor, I've just gone crazy.

We'll find them later, I promise.

First we gotta find mrs. Nestor's mother's momma!

You go that way, and I'll check over here!

Aye-aye, captain!

[Objects thunk and clank]

[Belches]

♪♪

I can't find her anywhere!

Dave?

Dave: scare, look!

I made a decoy!

Momma will never know the difference...

[Splat] oopsie.

I gotta fix this somehow, dave.

Yeah. We just need some pumpkin glue.

There's gotta be another trick in this book

To bring her back! [Pages flip] here!

Making a bird appear!

"Alla-birdus-flyus-concoctus!"

[Bird chirps]

Hmm...

Try it again with a little more oomph!

Alla-birdus-flyus-concoctus!

[Chirping and cooing]

[Defeated sigh]

At least I got my legs back.

[Excited] all four of them!

Ahhhhh!

Where did these come from?

[Frightened mooing, kids laugh]

This book is not helping.

It's time to get professional help.

You mean a dairy farmer?

I could use a milking. I feel bloated.

I meant a magician.

There's only one place in balsa to go!

Wally wizbanger's world of wizardry.

Dave: wow...

So how do we get inside?

With magic, of course!

[Gasps]

Only magicians can enter the store,

Using the highest level of sorcery.

Behold!

Is that a garage door opener?

A magician never reveals his secrets.

Now how can I help you?

I made an old lady disappear and now I can't bring her back!

Now you know why magic should never be left

In the hands of amateurs!

I'm no amateur!

I'm in the middle of a magic show right now!

Momma: intermission's over, scaredy!

Scaaaaaredyyy?!

Gary: it's like he...disappeared! Ooooh...

Momma: [growls]

Please tell me how to bring her back!

My life depends on it!

Pigglefloots!

As I said,

A magician never reveals his secrets!

A real magician trades!

Trades?

A trick for a trick.

Do you have a worthy trick to trade with me?

Ha! Do we?

I could make you a chocolate milkshake.

Uh... We do! Check this out!

Watch in wonder

As I make the stain on this shirt

Magically disappear!

There! Ahh!

Heh heh... No more stain...

Wally: enough! You've wasted too much of my time already.

Get out!

But... But... But-

Out!

[Crying]

But, wally, what's that on your face?

Got'cher nose!

Ahhh! My proboscus!

How in higglewumps did you do that?

Nunh-unh!

You tell us how to bring the old lady back.

There's a mystical place where lost things go:

Magic rabbits, tube socks,

And every cell phone you forgot in a taxi.

It's called... Lost vegas.

How do we get there?

Through a magic hat of course.

Thanks, wally.

Good luck.

Now give me back my nose!

Here ya go, mr. Magic face.

Whoa!

What? What is it? Is it on crooked?

Gotta go!

Faster, dave! Faster!

Dave: moooooooooo!

Ahhh! My craziness is back!

I've got the crazies! Ahhhh...

Wha! You guys are still...

Uh, thanks for waiting!

And just look at our delicious magic minute meatloaf.

Mm-mm!

Looks like it could melt in your mouth!

[Sizzles]

And through the floor.

Momma: scaaaaaredddy!

Uh-oh, scare.

I think it's time to get lost!

Whatever you do, don't let go of this rope!

When I find grandmomma, I'll tug twice

And you pull me out of lost vegas.

Got it? Got it!

When you find the tugboat,

You'll rope grandmomma in los pegasus!

Close enough. Wish me luck!

All right, cow-skunk.

Where's the squirrel?!

I have no idea of who you are referring to, miss.

But hey, is that a nose on your face?

[Growls]

Aaaaaaaaagggghhhhh!!!

[Loud crash]

Wow... Lost vegas.

Oh good, a map.

"You are not here." Great.

Agghhhh! Welcome to lost vegas,

Where the lost get lost and the lost...

I lost my train of thought.

Scaredy: I'm just looking for somebody and then I'll be leaving.

Izzy: leaving? Ha.

Good luck with that!

Well, I just have to tug on this rope,

And my friend dave will- ahhhhhhhhhh! Dave?!

Dave: oh! Ow! No! Please stop!

Momma: I got your nose!

And your ears! And your eyes!

What a shame.

Have you seen a little old lady,

About yay tall, with a beak and some feathers-

You're funny!

Lost vegas is huge, endless.

Way too big to ever find anyone

You might be looking for!

Grandmomma: weeeeeeeee!

Scaredy: there she is!

Sorry, I've got a speeding grandma to catch!

There goes my best friend...

Scaredy: mrs. Nestor's mother's momma!

Slow down!

Or at least put on a helmet and check your tire pressure!

This is the best day of my life!

Scaredy: eeee!

Aaaaggghhhhh! Ugh!

Mrs. Nestor's mother's momma!

We have to get you back home!

Grandmomma: right after we jump off this cliff.

What cliff?

Ahhh! Dave?!

If you can hear me-

I have her

And we could really use a helping hand!

Momma: waaaahhh!

You got it, buddy!

Momma: you'd better tell me where my mother is!

Dave: no. Wait.

I'm trying to save- ungh!

Faster, grandmomma!

Faaaaster!!!

Grandmomma: don't have to tell me twice.

Scaredy: waaaaaaggggghhhh!

Dave: oh! Scccaaarrraredddyy!

Oh! I got a big one here!

Don't even try it!

Dave: [half-hearted] ta-daaa!

[Applause and cheering]

You're lucky, squirrel!

I was this close to making you vanish...

From the planet!

C'mon, ma!

Your "slow driving class" starts in half an hour!

Grandmomma: but I wanna fly off a cliff on a bicycle again.

Scare! Did you hear the applause we got?

We should take this act on the road!

No way! My magic days are over.

And for my final trick...

I'm making this book disappear.

Pfft! I totally saw how you did that.

Wait! I still don't have my legs back!

Mildred: can I get a price check on a walking watermelon?

Dave! I know! Awesome!

I've never eaten a walking watermelon before!

[Sighs]

♪♪

Momma: listen up, disposable work force!

Sales are down.

Now I don't want to point any fingers,

But who's fault is it?

Squirrel! Ahhhh!

Well, uh...

Momma: spit it out!

I think the person costing us sales is-

Who?! Aggghhhhhh!

It-it could be maybe-

Tell me! [Echoing] tell me... Tell me!

[Apples rumble and crash]

There's evidence that would suggest, perhaps...

Momma: sayyyyyyyy iiiiiitttttt!

[Panicked screaming]

Dave: you! Totally you!

Because you are one scary bird!

Is that riiiiight?

Nestor: how dare you!

Momma's as gentle as-

A chainsaw? Rabies? Fire monkey?

Can it! Elaborate, squirrel.

You can be a little... Intimidating.

This cart is squeaking.

Will you please fix it?

Whoa!

And stay out of my store!

Are you chewing gum in my store?

Spit. It. Out!

Nowwwwww! [Spits]

[Screaming]

And don't come back!

Good day, officers.

Aghhhh!

One sample per customer!

Ow!

Huh. Whaddya know.

Never really thought of myself as intimidating.

What do you suggest?

I have just the thing!

Welcome to your first smile school

Correspondence course.

This is ridiculous.

The bigger the smile, the bigger the sales!

Now let's go over our mantra again:

A smile is a frown turned upside down and-

A cheer, not a leer, will make them hear.

Yeah, I get it.

Now let's see that smile.

It. Feels. So. Unnatural.

Ah, yeah, we should really practice.

The big smile exam is comin' up

And we're not even on the chart yet!

We gotta get your smile much smilier

If we're going to pass that test!

[Cracking]

Dave: [screams] your face!

What happened to your face?!

Put 'er there, fr..frrriend.

Ahh! She's got me! She's got me!

Okay, take it easy, mrs. Nestor's mother.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

[Struggling groan]

Have a nnn-nnn...

Have a nice day. [Belches]

Nestor: momma, I have a great promotion idea.

That's won-der-ful news, son.

Huh?

I am not unproud of you, nestor.

[Gasps] who are you?

What have you done with my mother?!

Agghhh!

Agggghhhhh!

Aggghhhhhhh!

You're doing smiletastic.

It barely hurts anymore!

Greetings and welcome to the stash "n" hoard.

Thank you for shopping here.

Come in for the fruits, and stay for the vegetables.

I'm... I'm just so proud.

It's always nice to meet a new customer.

Welcome.

Stash "n" hoard?

More like the bland and bored.

That's not very nice.

Well, neither is your hair.

Did the mole that cut it lose his glasses?

[Anger rumbles then heart beats rapidly]

Name's momma. I own this dump.

Well, that's an insult to dumps.

Name's garth

And I've been in balsa five minutes

And I hate it already.

I feel like I'm looking in a mirror.

Scaredy: wow! I think momma has a crush.

This is great timing.

Happiness increases smilability by 84.9%.

Sometimes I think you make up numbers.

I've never even heard of 84.

Momma: I'm taking the day off!

Scaredy: ooooh boy.

I have got a good feeling about this!

Ugh! Why would you say that?

Spoiler alert!

They hit an iceberg and the boat sinks!

And the popcorn topping isn't real butter,

It's diacetyl!

[Car honks]

Garth: hey! Where'd you get your hat?

The laugh at me store?

Momma: it'd look better if it covered your face.

Tha-ank you!

[Splash] aghhh!

[Spits] oh, w-waiter!

Please give the chef my compliments.

I didn't know you could make spaghetti

Taste like burnt tires.

And may I ask whose nose my drink came out of?

[Spits]

[Momma laughs]

[Scaredy hums]

Dave: that garth guy said the nicest thing!

He told me my vest had more food groups on it

Than his favourite buffet restaurant!

I'm not so sure that's nice.

Here he comes now!

Momma! Garth! How's the smiling going?

Garth: I thought she paid you to make good displays!

Oh! Zing!

Nice one, g!

Not as nice as the furrows in your brows.

So pronounced, so handsome.

Wha-wah-what-what-wha?

Hey garth, what's that buffet restaurant called?

You're so dumb it's unbelievable!

Hmm! Weird name for a restaurant.

[Gasps] do you know what this means?

They're all out of roast beef?

Ow! Garth is a bad influence!

Momma's not smiling anymore,

And we've lost all our of customers again!

[Wind gusts]

I need to fix this.

[Farts]

[Knocks]

Oh! I don't recall ordering any ugly.

Yeah? Well, I don't recall ordering any... Any...

I need to talk to you, garth.

Well, ain't that what you're doing?

Can I at least come inside?

All right.

But don't drip on my carpet.

Scaredy: wow. Nice place.

Garth: whaddaya want.

Scaredy: stop encouraging momma to insult the customers.

I ain't encouraging her,

I'm enhancing her natural talent.

But it's making customers scared to go into the store!

Plus, she has her smile exam tomorrow.

Garth: smile exam? Ha!

Can't you just leave her alone?

Forget it.

Me and momma are a team

And the frown brigade don't smile for no one.

Now scram.

[Sighs]

What am I gonna do now?

[Loud thunderclap]

My umbrella. Great.

[Struggling grunts]

Garth: how are my precious shinys doing today?

Ooh! So shiny! Shiny, shiny, shiny!

My my my,

That garth sure does have a pretty smile.

Momma: [yelling]

[Panicked screams]

If you're here to try and get me to smile again,

You can forget it!

Scaredy: actually, I was here to say you never have to smile again.

Good. I won't.

And you and garth should not show up

At the smile exam today.

Good. We won't.

Oh! I can just picture it,

You two insulting everyone and ruining the entire day.

Ooooh. Heh heh heh.

Well, don't you worry about that.

[Wind gusts]

Dave: how did I get in here?!

[Scaredy sighs]

[Applause]

Lovelife: welcome junior smilers and smile coaches

To your final exam.

Momma: smile a little more,

They can't see you from space!

That looks painful!

Scaredy: in appreciation for all the joy smiling school brings to balsa,

I'd like to present a special, shiny...

Yes, very shiny sculpture to the smile school.

Crowd: [impressed] oooh!

I'll let you take this one.

Oh! Oh! Shiny!

So beautiful!

So shiny!

Now that's one winning smile, folks!

[Applause]

[Steam whistles]

Momma: what are you doing?

Smiling over a bunch of beach litter?

It's gruesome!

It's shiny!

Arrghh! You're not the crab I thought you were.

Get out of my sight.

That's right, you... You shine-loving smiler!

With garth gone,

There's no reason not to smile.

So come on,

Turn that frown upside down.

[Crying]

Yes! Sweet salty tears of joy!

[Wailing louder]

We were the frown brigade

And he went and ruined it by smiling!

Wahwahwahhhh!

Scaredy: no, mrs. Nestor's momma.

Smiling is a good thing.

Please! It's not too late!

[Wailing louder]

[Wailing louder]

[Panicked screaming]

Scaredy: oh no! All is lost!

[Laughing]

Look at 'em! Look at those poor saps!

[Laughing]

Scaredy: you did it! It's a full smile!

Lovelife: and here is her diploma!

I am so proud of-

Aghhhh!

Aggghhhhhh!

You maybe wanna tone it down just a bit

With the smile?

I can't, you nincompoop!

My face is stuck.

[Grunts of effort]

Whoa!

Nestor: [humming]

[Gasps]

Aghhhh!

[Screaming]

Momma: greetings and welcome to the stash "n" hoard.

Customers: [panicked screaming]

Dave: ♪ it's scaredy squirrel's safety corner ♪

♪ Scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪

Today's safety corner is all about smiles.

And some people are better left un-smiling,

Like momma.

No, dave.

A smile is a joyous demonstration-

You messed with nature, scare,

And what happened?

The whole smiling school went whitewater rafting.

Yes, but that was just one-

She scares me when she smiles.

Well, if that's the case,

You're not gonna like our special guest.

Momma: was that my intro?

I'm ready for my close-up.

[Growls, glass cracks, static hisses]