03x12 - Captain Nuts / Nobody Loves Hatton

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

You're too close to the tv! Back up a little.

A little more...

Watch out for the stairs!

♪♪♪

Dave: they flashed the onion symbol in the sky,

And faster than a speeding scallion he came!

Pa-shoooooo! Onion guy!

And he put on his mighty onion ring

And yelled, "potato face... Prepare to get mashed!"

But just then-

Nestor: scaredy! Scaredy and dave: agh!

Your lunch break ended 10 seconds ago!

Sorry, dr. Chickenhea- er, nestor.

Nestor: and why are you playing in the lucky camper

Marshmallow display?

This is a store, not a campground!

Dave: ohhh! So that's why these aren't roasting.

Nestor: next time I see you

You'd better be super-duper super busy or else!

Bawwwwwk!

And no more camping!

But I love supermarket camping.

No bears, no poison ivy...

Scaredy: no bug bites!

Uh... I hate to scare you,

But I think a bug bit your neck.

Where?!

Nope. Over here.

No. Just turn your head-

Now bend this arm-

Put your leg over the head...

Scaredy: impossible!

I used 3 cans of bug-be-gone this morning-

Dave: [gasps] there's only one possible explanation!

That's a radioactive super bite,

Just like onion guy's! Look!

Ooh! Scare!

You probaly have a super power now!

I bet you do!

I don't have a super-power.

Now I gotta get back to work

Before I super disappoint nestor

And he yells at me super loudly.

Ow! Whyyyyy?!

To see if you're invisible.

Are you going to do this-

Alllll daaay.

Catch the freezer!

Huh? Aaggghhh!

Dave: a-ha! You're the amazing pancake face!

Dave: stop that speeding cart!

Dave: you're the great crasheroo!

Mark down this price!

That's not really a superpower, dave.

No, but those beans are a rip-off!

Dave: scaredy...

Maybe having no super powers is your super power,

Like captain normal guy?

Dave, if I had a super power,

There would be a very clear sign.

Something big! Something ground-breaking!

[Loud rumble]

Uh-oh...

Mildred: earthquake in aisle 2 and 3.

And the other aisles.

It's an earthquake.

Whew! That was close!

Scaredy, you figured out your super-power!

You can see 1 whole second into the future!

What? Yeah!

You said, "something ground-breaking,"

And a second later the ground broke!

Scaredy: I did say that, didn't i?

Dave: yeah, and you were always in the right spot

To catch whatever fell!

I was, wasn't i?

See? You are a superhero!

I am, aren't i?

It is my duty to make balsa the safest city

In the entire world!

But remember, scare,

With great super power comes great-

Responsibility!

I knew you were gonna say that!

Actually, I was gonna say b.o.

Superheroes sweat a lot.

Dan duck: the earthquake did only minor damage to the new,

And dangerously tall, balsa tower.

In other news, crime continues to rise in balsa

At an alarming rate.

Just hours ago,

Someone stole one of my french fries at lunch.

Sweet acorns! You hear that, dave?

A crime wave!

That's the worst kinda wave.

It brings crime fish!

We gotta do something!

Well, earthquakes and crime are no match for you...

A-bit-into-the-future predictor guy!

Eh, how about a catchier name like,

The one-second wonder?

Or mr. Mega second?

Ooh! Ooh! I got the perfect name!

Wait for it... Wait for it...

[Crickets chirp, owl hoots]

[Rooster crows]

Wait for it... [Snores]

Captain nuts!

Captain nuts?

Yep. It sounds cool and it matches your costume!

Costume?

Dave: to protect your true identity,

So bad guys see your hero-face and not your face-face!

Let's do this.

No one will ever guess it's me.

Or me!

And you are...?

Best friend boy!

I have the power to be your best friend!

It's time we serve evildoers a justice sandwich!

Hold the mustard.

No, seriously, hold the mustard,

I gotta go pee.

Dave: ♪ duh-duh-da-da-woo-woooooo!

♪ It's captain nuts and best friend boy! ♪

♪ Together doing good!

♪ They're saving balsa from dangerous stuff ♪

♪ And something that rhymes with good! ♪

That's our theme song?

Wait'll you hear the tuba solo.

Wait! Do you hear that?

Not yet!

Sally: help! Somebody hellllllp!

This is a job for captain nuts!

And best friend booooyyyyyyyyy!!!!

[Meows]

Scaredy: what seems to be the trouble, sally? Er, miss?

My cat is stuck up on a roof,

Ya weirdly dressed weirdo!

Scaredy: stand aside! This might get dangerous.

Safety first!

Here, kitty-kitty.

Come to the warm safety of my...

[Angry screech] whoa! Aagghhhh!

[Pained screaming]

Your cat, ma'am.

Oh, thank you! Thank you!

You're my heeerro!

No time for hugs, miss!

I'm off to help others, for I'm captain nuuuuts!

C'mon! We've got a city to save!

[Mimicks flying whoosh sound]

[Panicked screaming] help!

This might get toasty!

[Happy gasp]

[Cheering]

[Cameras flash]

Dave: I'm his best friend!

[Oinking]

Time to bring home the bacon...

[Squealing]

[Cheering and cameras flash]

Dave: I'm his best friend!

Scaredy: these prices are a real steal, huh, badger?

[Groans]

Dave: best friend boy to the rescu-aahh!

Just like I planned it!

Scaredy: he's my best friend!

Scaredy: be on the lookout for citizens in need of assistance!

You got it captai- oh!

Glad you could join us, green menace!

Who is he?

I dunno. Nobody does.

Dan duck: [over radio] we interrupt this radio silence for an emergency bulletin:

A giant earthquake is going to hit balsa any minute!

In lighter news the balsa tower

Will fall down when that earthquake hits!

Hang on tight!

I'm going to go the speed limit!

[Honking]

Scaredy: c'mon, best friend boy!

We've gotta get to that tower!

It's gonna take all the super power

My bug bite can muster.

Dave: oh no! Scaredy!

The bug bite's gone!

Scaredy: what?!

It healed? My super-powers!

Scaredy: my legs feel so-

And my arms-

I can't even finish a sentence!

Quick! Test your powers!

Predict what I'm gonna do next!

Uh, uh, you're gonna sneeze!

Ahh... Ahh... Ahhhhhh...

Oh no! You were wrong!

What am I going to do?!

I can't save the tower without superpowers!

Don't worry, scare!

I'll find another radioactive bug to bite you!

I'll be back.

Hatton: captain nuts, help!

My lawnmower is trying to eat me!

Sally: I can't find my hairbrush!

Please, help meeeeee!

I look awful!

Buck: help! I'm out of toilet paper!

Never mind! [Paper rips, toilet flushes]

Gross.

Mildred: my car won't start!

Old turtle: my pants are on fire!

Newsboy: grandpa's stuck in a well!

Eeeee!

Don't just sit there, help us!

Agghhhh! I can't help any of you!

[Shocked gasps]

I've lost my powers.

I'm no longer captain nuts.

I'm just plain old-

[Ground rumbles]

All: the big one! Waahhhhh! Save yourself!

Ahhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhh!

Woo! Thanks, captain nuts!

You know I was a super hero back in my day.

Scaredy: of course you were,

And now you just need something to lean on.

The balsa tower!

Dave: captain nuts!

I found radioactive bees!

Quick, eat one!

Those are fireflies, dave, and I don't need them.

I've always had a super power...

I'm a stacker!

And I've always been your best friend!

Dave: this has a knot in it.

I can't [gasps] uh, [wheeze] helllp.

Come on, best friend, to the balsa tower!

Dave: oops! Wrong way!

[Beeping]

With no captain nuts in sight,

In mere moments,

I will be crushed horribly by this tower.

More at 11, but not from me...

Time to get stackin'!

Dan duck: wait a minute.

Somebody is stacking something behind me!

Oh! Look at him go,

With the gusto of a thousand worker bees...

They're fireflies and he won't eat them!

[Gasps]

[Creaking]

[Worried gasps]

[Screeching halt]

[Cheering] hooray!

Sally: captain nuts, you're my hero- scaredy?!

That's right, sally.

I learned that I always had the power

To help others and that's why....

It's not a superhero.

It's just scaredy.

Come on, guys, let's go.

Hmm...

Dave: "and that's how super scaredy and best friend dave

Saved the town from the leaning tower of balsa.

The end."

I love a happy ending.

Ooh! What's gonna happen in the next issue, scare?

Nestor: bawk! There won't be a next issue

If you don't get back to work!

Agghhhh!

Dave: ow! Scaredy, something bit me!

Remember, dave,

Radioactive bugs only happen in comics-

Dave: and cartoons - I know, I know.

[Energy hums]

Dave: uh... Scare?

♪♪♪

Emergency! Look alive, people!

This is not a drill!

This is not a drill!

Nestor: where's the emergency?

Does momma know yet?! Not my fault!

Oh. It's you. What now?

This year is my turn to organize

The annual "furry hearts and hooves"

Quarter-formal dance.

Nestor: so?

So, you can never be too prepared

For possible dance-related mishaps.

Chocolates in the eye.

Pointy construction-paper hearts.

Red dye food poisoning.

Gah! The dance has always been fine.

[Slow music plays]

[Sad singing]

Buck: I am so lonely! [Crying]

The biggest danger with dances

Is the chance that someone might feel left out.

But not with this -

The "purple punch bowl of perfect partnering!"

Patent pending.

It guarantees everyone gets paired up!

Nobody needs to be lonely ever again!

Wow, scaredy,

That sounds like a really lame idea.

Thank you.

Whoa! Pick a partner, buck!

Mildred.

Oh, okay. Whatever.

Buck and mildred: yes!

Scaredy: go for it, mrs. Nestor's mother!

Nestor? Do I have to speak and/or look at him?

No!

Deal!

Pick away, buddy!

Ooooooh! Sally.

Sally: what?! Dave: ow!

Sally: doesn't count. Pick again.

[Groans]

Bertha! Woo-hoo!

Time to pick your partner scaredy.

No cheating!

"Sally."

Huh, I don't remember writing this

With a heart around it.

And didn't you tear it up?

This is gonna be romantic!

I'll wear something sparkly

And you'll be in a powder blue tuxedo.

I'll need three fin corsages -

Right, left and dorsal. Eeeeeeeeee!

...and milly's paired with gary.

There, everybody has a partner!

What about hatton? Hatton?

You know, skinny donkey guy.

Kind of a minor character.

Hatton... Hatton... Hatton...

Ah! Here we go.

Hatton called in sick today. Whew! False alarm!

Didn't hatton miss last year's dance too?

Yeah, last year he came down with donkey pox.

The year before that was pox pox.

Three years ago he had something called,

Peter piper picked a peck of pickled pox.

Hatton is purposely avoiding the dance!

This needs fixing!

You're right, scaredy!

Maybe these guys can do something about it.

No, dave, we're gonna do something about it.

Aw, man! It's always us.

[Knocking] hatton! Hello?!

Hattony: hatton's not here.

Well, if you're not hatton, who are you?

[Furniture rasps on the floor]

I am his roommate.

My name is... Hat... Ton...eeee.

Hattony. Yeah.

Totally different guy.

Hatton's gone to a, uh, a papier mache conference.

To the convention centre!

Look, hatton,

I know you're just trying

To get out of the hearts and hooves dance!

[Groans] thanks for trying to cover for me, hattony,

But I'll take this.

I am so confused.

I'm not going to the dance this year,

No way.

Listen, nobody's gonna feel left out this time,

I promise.

Just let me explain.

Well... Okay.

It's as simple as that.

No more lonely hearts and hooves.

You know what?

I'm actually looking forward to the dance now.

Who needs milk?

Yes, please. Soy?

Hatton: ahhhhhh!

[Springs boing]

Dave: that's a strange place to keep milk.

Scaredy: come on, we've gotta catch that donkey!

[Video game sounds]

Dave: the dots are gaining on us!

Scaredy: [panting]

Hatton, just tell us what's going on

So we can all go to the dance

And have a pleasant time!

Okay, okay, I'll tell you.

The truth is...

I have a secret pen-pal sweetie named harriet

And I can't imagine going to the dance

With anyone else.

Scaredy: that's perfect!

We'll invite her to the dance!

I've never actually met her face-to-face.

We're star-crossed lovers like romeo and juliet.

Marco and polo. Mac and cheese.

Okay, those last two were-

[Bawling]

No. No crying!

It's supposed to be a happy dance this year!

[Bawling]

Wow. Nothing sadder than a crying donkey,

'Cept a sobbing porcupine.

If the dance is cancelled,

I might as well eat this bag of cinnamon hearts

I got for bertha.

[Steamwhistle blows]

Ah! It burns! Gah!

Why would anyone eat these?

Agagagagagag!

We're not cancelling the dance.

[Flames whoosh] ugh!

It's like a runaway cinnamon train in my face!

All we have to do is find harriet,

Bring her to the dance,

And everyone will be happy!

Sounds like a job for detective awesome!

Dave, this isn't-

Actually this does seem like a job for a detective.

It was a tough case,

I had no idea

How I'd find that donkey's dame.

I was pretty sure sittin' here

Lookin' like a detective would help,

But so far, nothing.

[Knock on door]

Uh, scaredy, what did you do with the colour?

Sorry.

Eeee! I was just thinking

We should take dance lessons!

How's your box step? Irish jig? Flemish jig?

Scaredy: sorry, sally, I don't have time.

We're trying to track down hatton's penpal sweetie.

Sally: why don't you root through his mail.

That's what i... Would do...

If I was stalking someone.

Which I'm not. Totally not.

Oh, and your cable bill's due.

It was open when I found it.

Uh...

Invasion of privacy, here we come!

[Sonar pings]

Scaredy: the coast is clear.

Check the box.

Hey, look, a letter!

It must be from harriet.

No return address.

I guess we'll have to figure-

[Dave rips open the letter]

What is it with people sending open letters today?

Dave! You can't read somebody...else's...mail!

What does it say?

Dave: [girls voice, sothern accent] dearest hatton,

I wish I could be close to you,

But as you know I live a very, very, very...

Long ways away.

And yet I still think of you-

Sorry. The text moved me.

If she lives so far away,

We'll never get her to the dance tonight.

[Gasps] wait a minute!

I'd recognize that custom-made stationary anywhere!

I don't think harriet's so far away after all.

Riiiiiiiiight!

You catch my drift?

Noooooooooooo.

Susan: scaredy dear!

Do you need more graph paper?

No, ma'am, we're here on detective business.

Are those...

Yep, cinnamon hearts.

And I'm not afraid to use 'em.

Is this one of your custom stationary designs?

Oh, yes, it is.

Do you know if someone named harriet

Bought it some recently.

[Glass shatters]

Dave: look! A note!

"I have information.

Meet me in the parking garage in ten minutes."

[Glass shatters]

"Sorry about your window.

I guess this isn't the most considerate

Form of communication."

[Giggles] oh my...

They couldn't have met us in a nice bistro?

Or a clean hotel lobby?

[Car rumbles]

[Deep voice] you came. Excellent.

Uh, what's with your voice?

Uh...must be something caught in my throat.

Here, try this.

[Flames whoosh]

[Coughs] agghhhh!

Why would you give these to someone you love?!

I know, right?!

You have some information?

Hatton: I got word from harriet

And she told me she's been lying to hatton.

She doesn't really live far away.

Why would she lie?

Hatton: she doesn't love him anymore.

[Gasps!]

All right! Mystery solved.

But... But... Those letters!

Hatton: she didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Scaredy: wait a second... You're harriet!

Hatton: no... That's harriet.

Purse slap!

Guess we shoulda seen that coming.

[Sighs] I just wanted everyone to be happy

At the furry hearts and hooves dance.

I was thinking I should probably practice

My party laugh for tonight.

Here we go.

[Creepy laugh]

Guess the only thing left to do is tell hatton the truth.

"Go away. Busy cryin'"

[Knocks]

[Gasps] dave, I think I know how to save the dance!

You do?

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Hatton, great news.

We've found harriet

And she's going to come to the dance.

That's impossible!

Scaredy: no, un-impossible.

Which actually means possible. Double negative.

I don't usually support that, but I got excited and-

Hatton: I don't believe you.

Look, if I'm wrong,

I promise I will never pester you

About coming to another dance.

Ever. Never ever.

Hatton:

Huzzah!

[Sizzling] aggghhhhh! Pain! Why? Why?!

[Slow song plays]

[Mildred belches]

Buck: uh, will this song ever end?

Buck and mildred: this is the best day ever in my whole life.

This had better work!

See, I knew you wouldn't be able to get her to come.

Oh, sigh.

She's here, all right. Look!

There was no harriet; it was you the whole time!

And when dave and I got close to figuring it out,

You tried to throw us off the trail.

You don't have any proof.

Don't i?

Both your note and harriet's letter

Had the same frilly handwriting.

You use hearts to dot everything.

Well, if that were true,

I would need to own a wig like this!

Awwww! I am not a good liar.

But why go to all that trouble?

Look how much fun everyone's having.

Momma: you're looking at me again.

Because... I can't dance.

I have four left hooves!

Is that all? That's nothing.

Look at me.

Go ahead, give it a try!

I don't know.

Scaredy: c'mon.

Ooh, okay, I see what you-

Buck: hey, look at that new dance move!

C'mon, everybody, let's do the hatton.

[Stomping]

[Cheering]

[Chanting] hatton! Hatton! Hatton! Hatton!

I love it when everything works out.

Scaredy! There you are!

Oh, sally, I'm sorry it didn't work out

The way you wanted.

Wanna dance.

[Gasps]

Sally, you okay?

[Happy sigh] uh-huh.

Best. Dance. Ever.