03x11 - Freaky Fur Day / Mascot in the Act

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

You're too close to the tv! Back up a little.

A little more...

Watch out for the stairs!

♪♪♪

Scaredy: [humming]

Dave: scaredy! Scaredy: huh?

Yow!

My mom is coming.

Today. Arriving mom!

Today here!

Dear dave, mom is coming. Today.

Arriving mom. Today here.

Yep, that's what it says.

This is great.

It'll be nice to finally meet your mother.

Nuh-uh.

She's coming to get me ready me

For the quarter century hot dog hot-dog

Dance your face off wiener-take-all competition.

Yeah, I stopped listening after hot dog.

It's a contest that happens every 25 years

Where you have to stuff as many hot dogs

Down your throat as you can

While dancing.

Yeee-uck!

That sounds like a total nightmare!

My family's won it the last 100 years.

It's too much pressure.

Help me get out of it, please?!

Donna: david.

Dave: mom.

Scaredy: aw, that is just so- oh!

Ow!

Ohhh sweetie,

You'll have to be quicker on your feet

If you want to be a winner.

Now get on up, pudding cup.

We have a full day of training ahead of us!

Scaredy: ahem!

I'm scaredy. It's great to finally meet-

Aghhh! Ooooh,

Scaredy, I've heard great things about ya!

Well, dave is my best buddy!

But for now I need you to stay away.

Friends are a distraction, 'kay?

Thanks for understanding.

[Whistle blows]

Hellllp meeee.

[Panicked whimpering] eeeeeek!

Donna: knees up! Knees up! Let's go!

[Blows whistle]

And now I shall buy peanut butter.

You're 25 cents short.

Today you will make an exception

For the mysterious raccoon.

Mildred: [belches]

No.

How about that coin around your neck?

Raccoon: this is a magic coin

That will switch the fate of two people

With a single word.

It looks like a quarter.

It's not a quarter.

No coin, no nut butter.

Beware! The power of this coin is greater than-

[Belches]

Why do I bother?

Quick! While my mother's not around,

I can ride bertha.

Gimmie a quarter, please, please, please!

Aren't you supposed to be training with your mom?

She just went to the bathroom!

I just wanna sneak in one ride!

Here. Take this one.

[Coin tinkles]

Agh! Yikes!

C'mon! We gotta hurry!

Huh?

I'll ride bertha.

You figure out how to get me out of the competition!

I'd help if I could,

But nothing is going to change...

Disembodied voice: change-change-change...

Your mom's mind.

That's weird. Why am I on bertha?

Why are you talking out of my face?

Scaredy: say that again!

Dave: that again.

Scaredy: why are you me?!

Dave: this is awesome.

Now I won't have to do the competition,

You will!

What? No!

There you are, mr. Sneak-away-while-i-tinkle.

Okay, let's get back to-

Wa-wait! I'm not dave.

He is.

I know.

I can't explain it, but it's true.

Tell her, dave!

Dave: hello. I am scaredy squirrel.

Scaredy: ow! Ow! I want my body baaaaack!

Scaredy, I don't pay you to look confused

And slightly relieved!

Back to work!

Hey! I'm talking to you.

Dave: that's what you think.

C'mon, dave,

You've seen scaredy do this a million times.

[Price g*n fires]

Aghhhh!

Owww!

Donna: make a path! [Blows whistle]

Scaredy: dave, you have to tell her the truth

And we need to figure out how to switch back!

Hello. I am scaredy squirrel.

Scaredy: come on!

I'm not dave, he is!

We switched bodies.

Okay, are you done, funny man?

Can we get back to training now?

[Blows whistle]

I'll prove it.

Um, 4 times 17 is 68.

Potassium is the 19th element in the periodic table.

Air is 78.1% nitro- akk!

Donna: I'm very impressed, sweetie,

But brains won't help you dance or eat hot dogs.

Knees uuuuup! [Blows whistle]

Scaredy: have you at least been washing your hands?

Please don't forget to wash your hands!

They're my hands!

[Chuckles]

All right, my little bacon cake.

Time to get your dance moves cookin'.

♪♪♪

Donna: luckily, dancing only counts for 30% of your score.

It's mostly about the eating!

Please, don't make me do this.

I can't eat with my hands, it's a thing I have-

Oh, my silly little love rainbow,

That's why mommy's here to help.

[Choking]

Quick! While nestor's not around,

I can ride bertha.

Gimmie a quarter! Please, please, please?!

Something's weird.

Dave: yes, yes, yes!

I'm dave and dave is scaredy.

Nobody knows why. Whatever.

Quarter please.

Huh.

I guess that raccoon's coin was magic.

Dave: don't care! Need a quarter.

Scaredy! Why aren't you stacking?!

Aw! You can't expect me to work all day!

Oh! So sorry to bother you at work

By asking you to work!

Should I just give you the day off?!

Dave: awesome! Woo-hoo-hoo!

Why did he just leave?

You gave him the day off.

Bawk!!

There. You didn't have to eat with your hands -

You ate with mine. [Laughs]

Yee-uck!

Now, I have to go register you for the event.

You stay here and work on your dancing.

Seriously, do it.

Okay. I will not move from this-

I gotta find dave

And get us back into our own bodies!

The competition is only 2 hours-

[Hard smack]

Aww! I was licking that.

Dave, I want my body back!

I know you're scared of the hot dog competition,

But please...

Dave: hey, I didn't ask to switch bodies.

Blame the magic coin.

Scaredy: [gasps] magic coin? [Echoes]

I'd help if I could, but nothing is going to-

Disembodied voice: change...

Scaredy: we need to get that coin

And then we can switch back!

If we switch back, I'll lose the competition.

My mom will be so disappointed!

Dave, she's your mom.

She'll love you, no matter what.

Come on,

Who's the best dancer you know?

Modern or jazz?

The best all-around dancer you know?

Well... Me.

And what was the very first thing

You ever said to me?

By law,

This daycare should have a secondary fire exit.

I can eat more hot dogs than anyone!

Scaredy: I believe that still holds true today.

Dave, you can win this competition.

I know you can!

But first we need to switch back.

You're right!

I will win it and make my family proud!

Scaredy: that's the spirit!

Now let's go get that-

[Licking sound]

Scaredy: no. Stop.

We do not suck ice cream off the ground

With scaredy's face.

Scaredy: empty?!

But we can't switch bodies without that coin!

Booger must have come by and collected the money!

Oh-h*, look who's back.

Well good, because i-

Dave: please, nestor, not on my day off!

Bawwk! Bawwwk! Bawk!

Mm-hm. Come ta think of it,

I did see a funny lookin' coin

When I emptied the fire truck.

Scaredy: please say you still have it!

You still have it.

Scaredy: do you have it or not?!

Booger: no. Dave: it's over!

I'm-you're-we're going to lose the contest

And my family will never forgive you-me-us!

Scaredy: booger, this is important!

Do you remember where you spent the coin?

Well, I bought some french fried potaters

At the stash 'n' hoard.

Dave: the stash 'n' hoard?

I know where that is! Follow me!

Scaredy: mildred, we need to look at your quarters!

Nestor just took 'em.

I think he was going to the bank.

Dave: the bank? I don't know where that is!

Follow me!

Scaredy: if you find that coin, please hang onto it for us!

We really need it.

Scaredy: we're from the coin investigation division

Of the cash squad,

Here to check your quarters.

Was that a coupon for pudding?

Yeah, and it says 25 cents off.



We need to see your quarters.

Sweet acorns!

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh.

Dave: [gasps] the competition is about to start.

My poor mother.

She was counting on me so much to win.

I've let down my entire family.

Scaredy: okay. All right.

You stay here and keep looking

And if you can't find it then...

Then, well, I promise I'll be the best dave I can be.

Dave: wow! I look at you and I see me

Being the best friend I ever had to myself.

You're welcome. I think.

Dave: wow! Do I really look that silly when I run?

Donna: david! There you are!

I was worried I was going to have enter myself

In the competition.

Scaredy: hey! That's a great ide- ow!

Donna: the dancing is about to start.

Get your striped tail up there.

Scaredy: I can do this!

It's just a little dancing

And an obscene amount of grotesque hot dogs.

Oh dave, where are you?!

Murray: welcome to the quarter century hot dog hot-dog

Dance your face off wiener-take-all competition.

Annnnnd dance! [Blows whistle]

♪♪♪

Eeesh!

Annnnnd eat! [Blows whistle]

One, two, three, four, five, six-

What are you doing there, son?!

Scaredy: chewing 32 times.

The enzymes in saliva can only do so much!

Dave: mom...of my best friend dave, how is he doing?

He's...trying?

Scaredy: dave...is my name.

Did you find it? Do you have it?

Dave: it wasn't there!

Scaredy: then I better start chewing faster!

One, two, three, four...

Guess the family legacy ends here.

Oh, my poor son,

I hope he isn't too hard on himself.

I do love him so.

Dave: even if he doesn't win?

Donna: well, of course! He's my son!

Dave: what scaredy said in the store is true.

He and I switched bodies!

I am your son!

Oh no, that is not possible!



Potassi-gum is a funny word!

Air is here, here and here!

Oh, my little fart monster! [Farts]

I got myself a number

When I thought you might not show.

Get your squirrely body up there

And win this thing!

♪♪♪

Murray: ooh! A late entry.

You've totally eaten enough to win!

Scaredy: okay. You've totally eaten enough to win.

Stop! That's my tummy!

[Huge belch]

Murray: time is up and here is your wiener!

[Blows whistle]

That's my boy!

I'm pretty sure anyway.

[Crickets chirp]

Okay, that's awkward.

I am so proud of you, my little fudge kettle!

Scaredy: I don't wanna interrupt here,

But fudge kettle and I need to find that coin

Or we're gonna be stuck-

Mildred: hey, scaredy.

Scaredy: the magic coin! Fantastic!

We can switch back now.

You guys are the best!

Nestor: would you just hurry up! We need it after you!

[Belches loudly]

Totally. Awesome. Day.

♪♪♪

[Screams]

[Sirens wail]

What is it, mayor runswell?

You called an emergency meeting?!

Ah, yes. It's a fun emergency.

A funergency. Emergun?

You know what? We're still working on the lingo.

Scaredy: what?! There is nothing fun about emergencies.

Except for maybe that clown car pile-up last month.

I laughed till I cried.

But then I mostly just cried.

Okay, carl, roll it!

Narrator: some say the "sport" of croquet

Was first discovered by the ancient baboonians

Who smacked coconuts through tree hollows.

Others say... We just made that up.

Modern day croquet is a more refined,

Respectable sport.

[Angry screech]

Runswell: citizens of balsa,

I am proud to announce we are finally getting

A professional croquet team!

[Crickets chirp, someone snores]

Yay! [Claps]

[All start cheering]

Mallet based sports are dangerous.



The crowd seems to like the idea.

Listen to this!

Yay!

Listen to them, they're going mad.

But they're just clapping because you-

Dave: woo-hoo! Yeah!

What? It's easier than thinking for myself.

And here to tell you more about the team

Is owner and star player...

Slick mcslickerson! [Crowd cheers loudly]

Slick: thank you, thank you.

And to help celebrate, we're going to hold auditions

To pick the new mascot for our team!

Scaredy: none of you even heard about croquet before today.

Let's hear it for crow-kett!

Croquet.

Whatever!

Scaredy, why are you just standing there?!

You've got a discount croquet display to stack!

We're the official team sponsor.

Now get to it!

Dave: gimme an "r"! Gimme a "p"!

Gimme a "w"! Gimme another "w"!

Gimme an "s"!

Gimme an "at" symbol. Ampersand!

What's that spell? Nothing!

Whatcha doin', dave?

Practicing my mascot audition.

Check it!

[Music plays]

Ahh! Ay!

Woo-hoo! Whoa!

Yes! That's three less rabbits

Than I took out last time!

I thought you loved paddleball.

But paddleball already has a mascot!

[Pings]

Owwww!

But if you don't think I should do it,

That's fine. [Sobbing]

Uh, dave...

[Sobbing]

Look, i-

No, you're right. I don't need dreams.

Dave, I think you should audition

To be the mascot.

All right! Alternate ending two!

[Music starts]

[Loud smash and crash]

[Cans clatter, shelves crash]

So... How 'bout I help you, okay?

Put 'er there, coach!

Ugh!

♪♪♪

[Gasping for air] phew!

Scaredy: don't worry, dave,

You're gonna ace this mascot audition!

Dave: eeeeeeeee!

Slick: next!

[Taps]

[Saw whirs]

Thank you. Nicely done!

Lock the equipment room!

Next!

♪♪♪

Grrrr! Aggghhhhh!

[Crazed panting] aghhhhh!

[Fireworks whistle and pop]

Lock my house. Next!

[Belches]

Ohhhhh! Okay, last audition.

David skunkerton weeb.

Let's go! Next audition, please.

C'mon, dave, you can do it.

Whenever you're ready.

[Whimpers]

Okay, if you're not gonna audition...

Scaredy: he'll audition, he's just nervous!

Agghhh! Agh! Agh! Agh!

[Panicked screams]

I am so sorry.

Slick: okay. That's it. Auditions are over.

But my friend-

Slick: is very sweaty.

I'm so sorry, dave.

How'd I do?

You, uh... You did great.

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

Nestor: [over p.a.] Everyone to the front of the store

For the big mascot announcement!

Scaredy: you know, dave, no matter what happens,

I'm really proud of you.

Nestor: as official sponsor of the croquet team,

I am happy to announce that...

This guy has an announcement.

Thaaaaaanks, nancy.

Nestor: the name's nestor!

Momma: [laughing]

Ladies and gents, may I present to you...

The balsa city polecats new mascot!

Dave, I am so sorr-o-what-y?!

All of my dreams - this week -

Have come true!

Really? Congrats, dave!

And that mascot will be played by...

Scaredy orville squirrel.

[Crowd cheers]

Huh?

But I didn't even audition!

Slick: of course you did.

That juggling act was fantastic.

Scaredy: but my friend dave- ermuffle-plargy-parble!

What is happening?!

And where are they taking me?

[Spectators cheer]

[Clunk]

[Spectators cheers]

But I don't wanna be the mascot!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Scaredy: [chanting] team, team, you can do it!

Use your wooden mallet

To hit a wooden ball through a metal wicket

'Cause apparently that's the point of the game...

[Whimpers]

Hey you, non-important guy sitting in front of me.

Can you skooch down so I can see the mascot?

Further. Further.

Fuuuuuuuurther.

Sweet acorns.

Rat girl: eeee! It's the polecats' mascot!

Naw, that's just some wannabe.

Scaredy squirrel's the real mascot.

[Laughing, then gasps]

Dave, I just wanted to tell you-

[Girls shriek]

Rat girl 1: can we get your autograph?!

Scaredy: I uh... I don't have anything to sign.

Sign this!

Scaredy: I'm sorry-

Rat girl 1: he spoke to me! Agghhhhhhh!

Dave: hello, scaredy.

I am very happy that you are living my dream.

These tears are tears of not being jealous.

Dave, I don't want this job.

I'm gonna quit!

Oh great!

Now no one's gonna get to live my dream.

Nestor: bawk! Come on, mascot, get dressed.

We've got mallets to sell.

Dave, I think you can live your dream!

[Crowd cheers]

[Roars]

Scaredy: okay, okay, I'm going!

Scaredy: all right, dave, you're up!

Dave: [laughs]

Go... Polecats!

[Crowd cheers]

Scaredy: well, at least you're living your dream, dave.

Slick: get over here! Half-time's almost done.

What are you doing giving me one of these?

This won't work!

Gah! Bears!

Ha!

Phew!

There. [Metallic clank]

[Sly chuckle] perfect.

That was weird.

Maybe I was too harsh on croquet.

It might not be that dangerous.

Hmm.

What's going on?

[Gasps] magnets?

[Gasps] they're cheating!

Crowd: we love you, mascot!

I loved it when you jumped and then hurt yourself!

Dave: ah, yeah! That was all on purpose!

Dave! Dave!

Scaredy, thank you so much for making me the mascot!

Okay, but I've gotta tell you something-

Dave: and the best part?

I get to do this every day!

As long as there's no scandal that somehow disgraces the team

And causes them to shut down.

Right. Riiiiiiiiiight.

Glad you had fun!

See, richard,

If I tell everyone the truth,

Dave will lose his dream job.

But if I don't,

Slick will just keep cheating and that's wrong,

Right?

[Spectators cheer on tv]

[Cheering louder]

See?! He's loving it.

[Sighs] well, thanks for being such a great listener, richard.

[Music plays through the headphones]

Dave: [pained groans]

Well, good luck out there today, dave!

Break a leg!

Uh, maybe you should be the mascot today.

What? But you love it!

I hate it!

I thought I'd love it, but it mostly just hurts.

Did you know kids kick mascots?

Dave, that's great!

I actually think it's pretty mean.

No! The polecats are cheating!

I didn't want to say anything

Because I didn't want to ruin your dreams!

It's okay!

My dreams got ruined all on their own!

All right, I have a plan to expose the truth.

But it means you have to mascot

Like you've never mascotted before.

Mascat before? Mascooted?

Doesn't matter. Bring it!

Announcer: wow! The mascot is so good today,

It's distracting.

[Cheering]

[Blows whistle]

[Gasps]

What?! Do over! Do over!

Owww!

Scaredy and dave: how's it going, slick?

Slick: you two! You knew we were cheating!

You switched our magnetic ba*ls, didn't you?

Didn't you?! [Echoes]

[Shocked gasps]

Scaredy: you heard it here, folks!

The polecats were cheating all along,

And we stopped 'em!

Go, team mascot!

[Booing]

We don't care if they were cheating.

We want to win the championship!

You're welcome...?

Get 'em!

Both: uh-oh.

Go team?

[Punching thuds, pained cries]