02x10 - Jawhead / Store Wars

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

If you're watching this show from a bicycle,

I hope you're wearing a helmet.

♪♪♪

Scaredy: twelve.

Twelve. Twelve.

Twelve. Twelve.

Uh, whatcha doing?

Found an egg on the floor.

Trying to find the carton it came from.

Egg on the floor, huh?

How do you suppose that happened?

Um, buck you're uh-

I'd love to help, but, you know, workin'.

Buck! You're knocking all the-

Buck: whoa, hey.

Sorry I'm not mopping perfectly.

Yeah, but it's just... The eggs?

[Rumbles] agh! Stomach earthquake!

Or...

[Clock rings] luuuuunch tiiiiime!

Blahhhh.

Time for the perfect lunch.

Meh. I've seen perfecter lunches.

What? It's exactly 7.9 inches tall,







And organic free-range grain-fed lettuce.

It's perfect.

Nope. A perfect lunch needs a pickle on the side.

No pickle, no perfect lunch.

You don't need a pickle to-

Before pickles were invented,

Uh, sandwiches weren't even food,

They were used to clean floors,

And as, uh, mattresses actually, for tiny people.

That's not true.

Whatever, go ahead. Eat your not perfect lunch.

Fine. Then I'll be back with a perfect lunch.

Lunch time!

[Groans]

Huh.

Never realized we sold so many kinds of pickles.

Guess that means you're in a bit of a jam.

[Laughs] get it?

'Cause the jam is in the next aisle.

But you could have just said that- never mind.

Well, if I want to find the perfect pickle

I'll just have to try them all.

Scaredy: ugh.

[Chews, gulp]

These are all too tangy, too soft, too crunchy,

Too dilly, or too bumpy.

There is no perfect pickle!

Raccoon: ooh.

But there is a perfect pickle, my friend.

There is.

Tell me more, frightening stranger.

Where would I find this pickle?

Crazy larry's giant sandwich emporium?

Sorry. Wrong card.

The little shop of what you seek?

There you will find your perfect pickle!

And now I vanish!

Imagine if I had vanished.

Yeah. That-that woulda been, uh, something.

Ooh. I just got goose bumps thinking about it!

Yes. Yes.

Perfect lunch... Here I come.

[Thunder]

♪♪♪

[Gasp]

Ahhhh!

You've come for pickles.

[Blows]

[Coughing]

Both: ooh!

Wow!

Raccoon: eat them! Quickly!

Mmmm...

[Whooshes]

♪♪♪

Mmmm.

Wow! They're perfect! Ow!

Not so fast, grabby mcpickles.

This jar contains 6 ancient himalayan gherkins!

Rule! Once removed from the jar,

You have 30 seconds to eat the pickle.

Not a second more, or else... Consequences!

Can you be trusted?

No problem!

That rule is locked into the ol' ticky-tock.



What's the rule?

As soon as you open the jar, eat 30 pickles.

No. Eat a pickle, count to 30

Then eat the jar. Yeah. No!

Wait until I'm 30, smash the jar,

Blame it on a cat named pickles!

I'm sorry, I can't let you have-

Once removed from the jar,

You have 30 seconds to eat the pickle.

Not a second more or else consequences.

Please, I need these pickles!

They're for my perfect lunch.

Scaredy: you're still watching, right?

Tell me if I'm gonna trip on anything.

Walking makes my feet hungry!

Why can't we take the log bus home?

Sharp corners, sudden stops,

Bumps in the river. Pickles everywhere!

No thank you. Too risky.

Uh, scaredy you're about to-

We have to keep t hese pickles safe.

There's a little- walking is the best way to-

Agh! Whoa! Ah! Eek! No!

Dave: you got- don't let- grab the-

Nice catch.

Scaredy: now richard...

No touching this box.

In fact, don't even look at it!

Better safe than sorry.

Whatcha think?

Time to eat some dangerous floaty pickles?

Nope. No unnecessary risks.

This box stays closed until lunch tomorrow.

[Yawns] whoo.

Carrying that box all the way home tuckered me out.

Safe and sound in there!

I'll get a good night's sleep

And be ready to do a victory dance

For my perfect lunch!

[Yawns]

And sleep.

The pickles are safe, scaredy.

It's time to go to sleep.

Oh no. What are you doing?

There's no need to worry, you're just overtired. Sleep.

[Ticking]

Why aren't you sleeping?

Maybe because you're talking to yourself.

Am I talking to myself?

Yes. Definitely talking to myself.

I can feel my mouth moving.

Check on the pickles.

Who said that? You did. Agh!

Pickles!

[Sigh of relief] okay, no more sleeping.

♪ 864,253 Acorns in a tree ♪

♪ 864,253 Acorns

♪ Take one down, bury it in the ground, ♪

♪ 864,252 Acorns in the- ♪

[Snores]

[Crunch] [gasp!]

Dave: mmmm. Pickly.

Scaredy: no!

Dave! Don't eat the- chips?

They're pickle flavoured.

Oh, sweet acorns!

I thought you were eating one of my-

Box is still there. Okay. Okay.

But are the pickles in the box?

Of course they are.

One time my uncle bought a box full of bricks,

But when he got home it turned out to be a stereo system!

Really?!

I think he cried all night

But I couldn't hear him over the music.

Why would you tell me that story?

Now I have to check!

See?

Are they in there? Or is it just filled with stereos?

Of course they're in there!

Agh! Okay, forget it!

Too close! Too close!

Yeah! What were you thinking?

You made- I just- I'm a little- [snore]

Aw, don't worry, scaredy. Let's get you to bed.

[Rooster crows]

Ah, pickles, pickles... So perfect.

Agh! Where are the pickles?

It's okay! I got 'em!

I haven't taken my eyes off the fridge,

Because I'm responsible!

Oh, and you might want to get a new floor!

This is it, dave!

The day I eat my perfect lunch.

Why are you dressed as a green banana?

I don't have a pickle costume,

So I painted my banana costume to look like-

[Splat] aw.

I puddled my pickle.

Weird. It hasn't rained in days.

Where'd this puddle come from?

Rabbit mom: it's giant and green!

Scaredy: what's she talking about? They're trees.

They're supposed to be giant and green.

Yeech! What is going on?

Hey, does this puddle look like a giant footprint to you?

They all do.

They all?

[Gasp]

Turmeric? Celery seed? Fennel? Oh no!

Dave? We've got big trouble!

I think there's a giant pickle on the loose!

Uh, yeah, it was on the news this morning.

They said it's going to destroy the city.

No wait, ravage. Ravage the city.

You didn't think of mentioning that to me?

One, two, three-four-five!

Noooo!

It's all my fault! Let's split up.

If you see a giant pickle, scream.

[Screams]

Yep, just like that.

[Screams]

Okay, save it for when you see the-

Pi-pi-pickle!

[Roars]

Enemy of the pickle; toothpick!

En garde!

Scared, huh?

[w*r cry]

[Snarling]

I was really hoping that it do more.

[Roars]

[Sniffs]

He's not gonna eat you, he thinks you're a pickle.

I can't be a pickle for life!

I own seven other costumes!

It's okay. I have an idea!

Think like a pickle. Be the pickle.

Crazy larry's giant sandwich emporium. Okay.

Ech. Public telephone.

Answering machine: you've reached crazy larry's giant sandwich emporium.

Leave a message!

Hello, I'd like to order one giant pastrami sandwich.

Dave: scaredy!

Um, please deliver the sandwich

To the stash n' hoard grocery store as quickly as possible!

Thank you!

Hello?

Buck: [w*r cry]

Oh. It's just scaredy, guys!

Not a giant pickle.

Giant sandwich? Delivery? Yes?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

There's no time to wait then!

Guys? I know how to catch the giant pickle,

But I need your help.

[Squirting]

A little more mustard would make it perfect.

There's no time for perfect!

Did I just say that? Yes, I did!

Nice work g*ng!

Now, buck. Do you know how to drive a log bus?

Nope. But that won't stop me!

Here, pickle, pickle, pickle!

Lunch time!

Be the pickle. Think like a banana.

Banana?

[Snarling] I meant pickle.

Not banana! I am not a banana! No!

[Splash]

Scaredy: it's working! He's chasing us!

Oh. Good.

Come back, giant sandwich bus!

Buck! Head towards the cliff!

You got it!

Wait. What am I saying?

Do it!

He's gaining on us!

This is gonna be close!

Wait, wait, and turn!

[Splat]

Now this, this is a perfect lunch!

Meh. I've never been a big fan of pickles.

Wait, scaredy?

Where'd the jar of pickles go?

Uh oh.

Nestor: himalayan gherkins?

I didn't know we sold these.

A little taste won't hurt anyone.

[Phone rings] stash n' hoard. What?

You're in the parking lot with a what?!

No, I didn't order a giant sandwich!

♪♪♪

[Giggles]

♪♪♪

[Alarm sounds] outta my way!

Hit the gas!

Oh, I don't know.

Speeding might be a bit dangerous.

And don't you think a get-away bus pa-

Pull. It. Together. Man.

Are you a crook or are you a mouse?

Well, technically- agh!

Sully: halt! Goat police!

[Bleat] halt!

[Siren wails]

Careful there, danger.

I eat careful for breakfast.

Sometimes a tin can, but mostly careful.

[Bleats]

[Gasps]

Ahhhhh!

♪ They are goat police! [Bleat]

Hey scaredy,

Don't ya think we're just like those two crooks?

You're all scared and stuff

And I'm all super tough and awesome.

I guess so.

♪ Tough on the inside!

Scaredy: aw! I hate it when they do that.

My favourite part is finding out

Who did the production accounting!

Danger: hey fans! Do you love goat police?

Both: yes.

Do you live in balsa city?

Both: yes!

Are you willing to work for free?

Meh. Yes!

Sully: goat police is filming in balsa city this week

And we want you to be an extra on the show.

So come on down and...

Keep it real.

I've always wanted to be on goat police

Since two seconds ago.

Well dave, you know what that means!

What? What does that mean?

Life is just one big surprise for you, isn't it?

I can't believe it.

We're not just gonna be regular actors,

We're gonna be extra actors.

All right. Who wants to be an extra?

Crowd: [cheering]

Aw. They'll never pick us.

Come on, dave.

I'm gonna get you on goat police

If it's the last thing I do.

Excuse me! Pardon me. Coming through.

You know, you're allowed to like goat police and shower.

Ooh! Ooh! Me. Me wanna. Extra.

Anybody?

Dave: this guy. Here! Here!

Anyone at all?

Ooh!

[Farts]

[Screaming]

Dave: it was the squirrel.

Director: [sighs] okay, you'll do.

Places everyone. Places.

Dave: this is the most exciting thing we've ever done...

This week.

Danger: the tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.

The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.

Dave, give me your lunchbox.

Excuse me, mr. Danger sir,

Could you sign this for my best pal, dave?

Danger: [higher pitched voice] sure thing, buddy.

[Gasp] you just made my bestest lunchbox

Even better-er-er!

Director: goat police, episode 123a. Scene four, take one.

And action!

All right youse low-lifes, put your loot in the bag.

Now bruno, you could say plea- ow!

The periwinkle g*ng!

I've been on your tail

Ever since you stole that lollipop

From my kid brother five years ago.

Hi! Excuse me.

Scaredy squirrel, long time fan,

First time actor.

Director: what? Cut!

Scaredy: according to episode 32g

It was danger's half brother who was robbed.

And technically it was a sucker not um...a...

[Nervous laugh] okay. Just trying to be helpful.

Director: [sighs] take it from the top.

Goat police, episode 123a. Scene four, take two.

And action!

All right youse low-lifes, put your loot in the-

Scaredy: sorry. Hi. Me again.

Director: cut!

Scaredy: didn't he use his left hand last time?

Director: cut! Cut cut cut cut! Cut cut cut cut cut cut!

Take 18.

All right, youse- one more thing.

Director: cut! Take 23.

Howdy. Just embracing the spirit of collaboration here-

Director: cut! Take 97.

Director: take 103.

Scaredy: [inhale] director: cut!

For the love of- cut! Cut cut cut cut cut!

Look squirrel,

We're gonna do this one more time.

With no helping! Got it?

The show, episode something-or-other.

Take who cares. Just who cares.

Put stuff in the bag, and stuff.

Filmore: say please. Ouch.

The periwinkle g*ng!

I've been on your tail since you stole that sucker

From my half brother exactly five years,

Three months and two days ago.

Yes! We did it. Thank you, everyone.

Great work today.

Danger: [higher pitched voice] that was a dramatic pause!

Director: [sobbing]

That's it. We're canceling the sh**t.

Everyone pack up. [Sobbing]

Hmph. Real smooth, guys. Real smooth.

Dave, I am so sorry.

At least I didn't have my lunch in that lunchbox.

That's looking on the bright side.

Yup. It was just filled with all my hopes and dreams

In the world.

Danger: [high pitched scream]

And my spider collection.

[Sighs]

Scaredy: there's gotta be something I can do

To make it up to you.

We could hang out with carl. He's a goat.

No way!

Fair enough.

Um, we could maybe, uh...

That's it!

Why does richard own a video camera?

♪♪♪

Crazy narrator: me likes cheeseburgers!

He gets a surprising number of hits.

[Snaps fingers] we can make our very own episode

Of goat police right here!

And this time we can play the crooks.

They're just like us, remember?

No, dave. We should play the goat police.

They get all those exciting paperwork scenes.

But we're not goats.

That doesn't make any sense.

[Bleat]

No, carl. Fair enough.

Okay, whatever you want, dave.

Now we just need to find somebody really bossy

To be the director.

Okay, people, let's do this.

We don't have all day, we're losing the light.

I added a love story for one of the crooks.

We can practice it together... Later.

Places! Places!

And action!

[Bad acting] do you want to go steal something today?

Oh, I do not know.

I am-i am just too scared to do any of that stuff.

Really? Was that too real for you?

Sally: cut!

Why do I put up with this?

Never work with skunks!

It's in my contract!

Dave, I wasn't really scared, I was just acting.

You were? Yeah.

You've gotta remember, no matter what I say,

Just stay in character. Got it?

I get it. Acting is easy!

Sally: go!

Gimme all your loot!

This is not in my job description.

I'll just take these.

Oh no! The goat police!

[Toilet flushes]

What?

To the getaway car!

You can take that out of my pay!

Sally: go.

Oh no! We're going to crash!

[Car sounds] crash!

Uh...

Okay. This is the cl*max.

You're about pull off your greatest heist.

You're feeling good.

You're feeling pumped.

You think you're smarter than the goat police.

Now take this prop

And pretend like you're gonna rob the bank.

Oh boy, oh boy!

Uh, does the bank know we're making a movie, 'cause-

No time! I want raw emotions!

And action!

Does that guy seriously have a bag

With a giant dollar sign on it?

Can it, copper.

You can't stop me.

I'm a crook and you're just some smelly cop

Who smells like a-

He means to say, nice day officer, sir.

Mr. Officer sir. Agh!

You'll never catch us.

Please! Please catch us!

Oh! This is great stuff!

Dave, we gotta stop this!

Sally: no, no! Keep going!

To the getaway car!

What? Every fish needs a sweet ride!

Scaredy: dave, they don't realize this is all pretend.

We're gonna be in a lot of trouble!

I don't know what you're talking about

Since I am a crook.

Hold it right there, buddy!

[Siren wails]

Does this have side impact air bags?

I don't see evidence of regular maintenance.

I don't feel comfortable with this!

Dave: yeah! Scaredy: no!

Sally: whoa! [Splash]

Uh... Not my fault. [Scream]

Ahhhhhh!

Sally: creative differences - gotta go!

This is madness!

Whee!

[Tires screech]

But... Weren't we supposed to pause mid-air?

Dave, I never thought I'd ask this,

But I need you to fa-

I need you to f-f-f-f-fart! In here.

[Farts]

[Coughing]

We did it! We made a tv show!

You don't have to be in character anymore,

We're done.

Well, at least nobody got hurt.

[Siren wails]

[Nervous laughter]

Dave: that was so awesome!

Go hook the camera up to the tv,

I'll get the popcorn.

Uh, dave? We need to talk.

We're gonna be in a lot of trouble-

Scaredy, our episode is on tv!

But how can it on-

Reporter: earlier today two fugitives attempted to rob

The balsa national bank

Followed by a high speed chase.

Oh no.

This is the best day ever.

[Tires screech]

[Knocking] police. Open up.

This is gonna take a lot of explaining.

[Nervous laugh]

Dave: ♪ it's scaredy squirrel's safety corner ♪

♪ Scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪

In today's safety corner

We're gonna talk about the difference between

Make-believe and grand larceny.

Even though what we did was make-believe,

It was bad. Really bad.

Once we were caught we-

Hey! What's happening?

We're getting thinner. [Giggles] this tickles.

Wait, wait, wait! The show's not over yet!

What's an adrian thatcher?

Stay tuned for late night with dan duck.

Staring me, dan duck.

Okay, enough! We've got a show to do!

Okay. Good. So as I was saying-

Wait! Wait wait wait! We're not done!