02x02 - Rockabye Rock / Beware the Corgin

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

Feel free to use the next commercial break

To brush your teeth.

♪♪♪

A whole week away?

Scaredy's going to miss you like crazy.

Ah, what are you talking about?

I'll be fine!

Do you have extra sunscreen, richard?

Your cactus cousin

Does live in the desert, you know.

Come to think of it,

All that dry air

Can't be good for your photosynthesis.

Maybe you should just stay home.

It is take your kid to work day

At the stash "n" hoard tomorrow.

That would be fun!

[Silence]

Or, you know, not.

Relax, scare. It's just for a week.

Well, richard won't be going anywhere

If I can't get the air out of this mattress!

[Air hisses out]

Argh! [Grunts] oh!

I'm on it, scaredy.

Big mistake, air mattress.

Big mistake!

Well, you've got your leaf brush, mister,

Sun hat, rain hat, fog hat, back-up fog hat.

Dave: say uncle! Say it!

[Air hisses]

Bus driver: the bus to iguana springs is now boarding.

Okay, i, um...

Well, I guess it's time to go.

Bye, richard. Have fun!

Huh. No richard all week.

[Chuckles] that sure frees up some of my time.

[Gasping and wheezing]

What happens to all the air you just-

[Air erupts]

[Odour hisses]

You're welcome.

[Snoring, sleepy moan]

[Watch beeps] c'mon, richard, time for break...fast.

Oh, right. This is gonna be a long week.

[Banging on door]

Breakfast is served.

Dave: wow!

Usually I have to come to your house

To eat your food.

[Gasps] oh. Okay.

Scaredy: what does a fire truck say?

Wah-ah! Wah-ah! Wah-ah!

That's right!

The fire truck says wah-wah!

Dave: pah! No! No, no!

You're trying to take care of me

And I fell for it.

I-i feel so... So... So, so...

Use your words.

You can't stop yourself!

I'm not your richard.

Sounds like someone needs a nap.

Well, I guess I could use a-

No, no!

Stop caring for me!

What about your breakfast?

Are those clean socks? Take a hat with you!

Dave: you're not the boss of me!

I could try to be!

[Watch beeps] vitamins, rich...ard.

[Sighs] well,

I guess I'll just get a little sun on my own.

Shoe's untied.

Let me get that for ya. Watch. Learn!

[Singsongy] two laces cross just like so

One comes up and turns to make a bow.

The other goes around and-

You sure are a big fella. [Chuckles nervously]

[Hard punch]

[Watch beeps]

[Scaredy lands with a thud, seagull cries]

[Watch beeps]

I know!

Hatton: ow! Oh no, I'm late.

[Sighs] I just need someone to- ow!

Huh? Oh, it's just a rock.

Just a helpless, defenseless...

[Gasps] are you okay?

You can't stay out here all by yourself.

And I shall call you stanley!

Come on, boy! [Humming]

Wee! Wee!

Whoa! I gotcha. Woo-hoo-hoo!

How we doing over there?

Warm enough? Might get cool tonight.

There ya go.

Good night, stanley.

Just in case you get thirsty.

Good night!

Stanley: [chugging sounds, burps]

Really? Really?

Okay. Come on.

[Toilet flushes]

There we go, a nice healthy lunch.

Uh, what're you looking at, stanley?

Oh, you.

Come on, stanley, lunch first.

[Phone rings] hello?

Hi, dave.

Just hanging with my rock stanley.

Stanley! What are you doing?

Dave, I'll have to call you back.

Hmph!

Naming a rock. Ha-ha! That's crazy.

Right, blowy?

[Babies giggle and coo]

He looks more like his mother.

[Classical music plays]

Woo-hoo! All right, stanley!

Go! Go! Go! Go! You got it!

[Water gurgles]

Stanley!

[Splash]

[Rapid breaths]

He's okay. Phew! He's okay.

Might be too early for swimming lessons.

Those are lovely earrings, mildred.

Balsa shopping tv. [Belches loudly]

Majestic lady collection.

Great! Do you think you could, um...

Mildred, stanley is not a paperweight!

Wha?

It's take your kid to work day.

I brought my rock, stanley.

He's just hanging out.

Can he hang out on my newspaper?

I guess.

Ugh.

Making sure the shelves are stocked

Is part of my job.

[Glass shatters] stanley!

Is this your rock?

Because that window's coming out of your pay!

Stanley wouldn't do that.

It's pretty obvious he did!

No. My stanley is a good rock and he-

[Glass shatters]

Okay, that might have been stanley.

Nestor: bwak! Take your kid to work day is over!

All children go home now!

Including you?

[Whimpers]

I'll be back tomorrow!

Scaredy: wasn't that fun?

It really felt like we were walking on mars!

Stanley, is this sticker from the gift shop?

We didn't pay for this!

Well, we don't know he stole it.

Maybe it got stuck to him by accident.

Stickers can be very sticky

And they stick to stuff all the time

And stanley gets stuff stuck to him...

How much? Nine dollars.

Nine dollars?!

I can't believe you stole it!

Which he didn't.

[Humming]

Stanley, are these your new friends?

Do you all, uh, live on this street?

Well, I'm sure your parents are wondering where you are.

Come along, stanley, time for your piano lesson.

Hmph! [Door slams]

I'm not so sure about your new friends,

They seem a little...

[Gasps] mildred's earrings!

Stanley! You can't take things

That don't belong to you.

It's not right, okay? Okay?

It's pretty obvious you feel bad,

Which means you've learned your lesson

And this will never happen again.

And in the morning

All the good rocks had turned to gold.

Good night, stanley.

[Whales sing, yawns]

Maybe I'll turn in early to- [snoring]

[Rooster crows]

Radio host: you're listening to rooster in the morning:

All rooster sounds all the time!

Now here's johnny with the news.

Newscaster: a robber is amongst us, balsa city.

That's awful!

Newscaster: the robber broke in by smashing a window.

The police are looking out for a brick

Or perhaps a rock.

Probably one of those shady rocks

You were with the other day.

I don't want you seeing them anymore.

Raisins in your oatmeal?

No? Fine.

Yesterday you loved raisins.

Today it's no raisins.

Hatton: ow! Mmm, nature's candy!

It's hard to keep up with you, stanley.

That's all I'm saying.

[Angry incoherent ranting]

You don't think that stanley

Could've broken into those homes, do you?

He's not a criminal, right?

[Muffled answer]

But if he is, is it my fault?

[Muffled answer]

Scaredy: and if it is my fault,

Then will richard become a delinquent too?

Yes.

Nah! It's gotta be those hoodlum rocks

He was hanging out with.

I'm gonna stay up all night

To be sure that stanley doesn't sneak out.

Sleepover party!

With no sleeping.

Awake all night party!

[Owl hoots]

Tv announcer: and that concludes late night owl tv:

All owl sounds all the time.

He looks so innocent when he's sleeping.

[Sighs] so whatcha wanna do?

I brought a 5 hour mini-series

About the man who invented the golf cart,

And I made snacks!

Warm milk slushies, turkey cookies,

And fettuccini alfredo. Mmm...

Dave, no!

That stuff will make us fall asleep.

Aw!

Hatton: [objects shatter] ow!

Who threw tha- [snoring]

[Door slams]

You know what else makes me sleepy?

Whales, with their non-stop woo-wa, woo-wa...

[Snoring]

Stanley!

[Gasps] dave!

Stanley's gone!

Bad, stanley! Very bad!

That's stolen cake! Stop!

[Coughs]

Aw... They look so happy.

Police officer: [siren wails] stanley, we know you're in there.

Come out with your hands up...

Uh... Just come out!

Scaredy: agh!

Stanley is bad. This is all my fault.

Police officer: please come out the front door

Because no one's at the back of the house.

No one at all.

You can send stanley out the back!

[Organ music plays creating melodramatic pauses]

Scaredy: no, dave. Let's turn him in.

It might be the best thing for him.

Police officer: don't fight us, buddy! Just relax!

This rock escaped from prison last week.

Scaredy: he was in prison?

Yep. Been in his whole life.

His whole life?

That's fantastic!

Stanley was always bad!

So richard can come home!

I won't make him a criminal after all!

Hey, hey!

When is richard coming home?

Tomorrow.

Okay.

[Water spritzes]

He looks good!

You really do, richard! So green!

Are you hungry, richard? I could make you something.

Maybe we should change your soil.

Did you get enough water on the bus trip?

Better you than me, richard.

Better you than me.

♪♪♪

Dave: not sure... How much more...

You can do it! Incoming!

[Rapid beeping]

[Slurps, gulps] did we do it, scaredy?

Please! I'm getting the maple sweats!

Just 236 more

Until we get the wonky waffle wonktacular grand prize.

Can't we just mail in the box tops

Without all the eating?

And waste the waffles?

Maybe we don't need to eat 'em, we just need to use 'em!

Yeah!

[Struggling grunts]

Scaredy: here! Here! Over here!

Dave: seat cushion?

[Splat]

Anybody?

Pre-syruped? [Nervous laugh]

♪♪♪

[Birds chirp]

Dave: or we could do waffle boxer shorts!

Waffle eyebrows?

[Gasps] waffles as waffles!

Scaredy: wait...



We did it! We did it! We did it!

So what's the grand prize?

A magic pony? A magic circus?

[Gasps] a magic circus pony?

The super swinger.

The greatest hammock ever made!

Is it a magic hammock?

Scaredy: nope. Just a hammock.

But look,

It contains the latest in anti-flip technology.

You contain the latest in anti-flip technology.

It comes shipped with a technician

To ensure 100% safe set-up!

Pfft! What doesn't?

It has a cup holder.

That. Is. Awesome!

Come on, let's go put this in the mail!

♪♪♪

I wonder how long before it gets here.

[Vehicle honks]

Efficient!

Wow! A box!

Sweet acorns!

[Mechanical whirring]

Har-e: good day slash evening, hammock enthusiasts.

I am har-e 5000:

Hammock assistant robot, expert class.

What does the 5000 stand for?

I do not make fun of your last name.

Do you think you are better than me

Because you can breathe air and cry tears?

Wow. Touchy.

I am programmed to ensure safe

And optimal hammock enjoyment.

You complete...

Me?

Scaredy: all right!

Safely opening the box now.

[Alarm wails] what?

Freeze, hammock cowboys!

Step one:

Clear the lawn of all debris.

It's clear!

Insufficient.

Witness the potential danger of debris.

[Rumbling, screaming]

Wow! Your worst-case scenarios are in 3d!

Look, laser-head man,

This lawn seems pretty clear to me.

So yeah!

I have been sent so that even slobs

Can get the job done right.

Dave: slobs?

How dare you call us slobs!

Oh, great.

Now I dropped my armpit cookies!

Scaredy: dave, I think we should listen to har-e.

Since when have robots ever caused anyone trouble?

[With mouth full] okay, let's do this.

♪♪♪

[Scanning and beeping]

[Beeping]

[Laser blasts]

[Whirs]

[Truck rumbles]

♪♪♪

There! Done!

Har-e: scanning.

Lawn is...100% debris free.

Yes! Thank you, mister 5000!

Please, mr. 5000 Is my father's compu-name.

Dave: [singsongy] oh yeah, we did it!

We beat the robot!

Robots are are stu- agh!

I seem to have learned the emotion you call hate.

Uh...

He'll be okay.

Thanks, har-e.

You taught me how to be even more organized

And thorough than I already-

Scaredy: [alarm wails] but... We just... You said...

Don't argue. He's got a zappy head!

You forgot step 2.

All right, what is it? Open the box?

Prepare the allen key?

Motor oil, 9 volt batteries...

What is this stuff?

Important safety items you must retrieve.

Do not question.

But I thought the next step would have something

To do with the hammock.

Dave: agh! Let's go.

[Dustbuster whirs]

Scaredy! What are you doing here

On your day off?

Just buying some stuff for a robot.

Whatever.

I need you to come in for an extra shift tomorrow.

Sure! After the robot lets me use my hammock,

I'll be totally rested.

Dave: [with enthusiasm] to the battery aisle!

I need to stop asking questions.

Steel beams.

Dave: to the hardware sto- agghhhh!

Motherboards.

Dave: [exhausted] to the computer store.

It's okay, dave. I got these.

[Loud crash]

Okay, har-e, we found all the stuff

You asked us to get, so-

Thank you, carbon-based mouth-breathers.

Scaredy: huh?

Har-e: where is the three-quarter inch printer cable?

[Mechanical whirring]

[Slurps] ahh...

This is the robo-life.

Scaredy: har-e, what are you doing?

You said this hammock wasn't safe.

Not safe for fleshy living things like you.

Dave: why, I oughta...

Hide. I oughta hide.

But when do we get to use it?

Step three:

Observe the safe use of a hammock.

What?

It seems the robot-er has become the robot-ee.

Observe. [Slurping motor oil]

Ahh...

Step 4: adjust my umbrella.

How many steps are there?

There are, uh, many.

Many, many steps.

Are you serious?

Robots are always serious,

Except for the cyber-jamboree.

That thing is off the hook.

But once we do all the steps,

You'll let us use it, right?

Affirmative.

If that's what it takes, that's what it takes.

Don't you see? He's not helping us out!

He's just a robo-jerk!

[Zapping] aaaaaagh!

This is for our own good.

Besides, robots aren't programmed for jerkiness.

Three more degrees.

Especially not ones designed for safety and protocol!

Scaredy, he... And the zap zap...

Dave, relax!

There you go!

What's next on the safety agenda, har-e?

♪♪♪

♪ One zero zero one

♪ Zero, zero, zero one, one, one, zero! ♪

Scaredy: and then the boy became a real robot

And lived happily ever after.

Again! Again!

[Sighs]

Once upon a time

In the land of motherboard...

♪♪♪

Scaredy: safety protocol!

No sleep! Need hammock.

Must be safe as a robot.

[Zap]

Your breakfast smoothie, har-e.

Ah... Ah...

Nestor: [honking] hey, scaredy.

Don't forget about your extra shift this morning.

It starts in three minutes!

Scaredy: agh! Har-e: ah-ah-ah!

But work! Negative.

Har-e: so you can be on call for more steps.

Okay, gotta go!

[Phone dials]

Ah! Ah!

[Slurps]

Nestor: ham hammock - seen it!

[Phone rings]

Har-e: massage time.

[Sighs]

Har-e: ahh. Scaredy: agh!

Har-e: ahh. Scaredy: agh!

Har-e: ahh. Scaredy: agh!

Nestor: back to work!

[Phone rings]

[Whirring]

[Drill whirrs]

[Sighs]

Robots! Rules?! Hammock?!

No! No hammock for you!

[Manic laughter] beep boop-beep boop boop-beep.

[Manic laughter]

I need to get another job.

Woo! Woo-hoo!

Scaredy: [crazy laugh] hammock? No, no, no hammock for you!

Ugh! Take your friend home.

He's scaring the children.

♪ Hammock-robot-time

♪ Swingy swing swing, swing, swing ♪

Dave: snap! Out! Of! It!

Where-where am i?

[Gasps] the hammock!

Don't you see that har-e is making you crazy?

Hey, that rhymed.

You're right, dave.

Uh-huh. Just like this:

[Rapping] ♪ dog and a frog sittin' on a log ♪

♪ Playing a game of clog

No, about the other thing.

I've become more robot than squirrel.

Time to get rid of that robot.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh...

Scaredy: hold it right there, hammock hog.

That is my hammock

And I don't have to listen to you.

Your sass does not compute.

Please get off the hammock.

I know you are but what am i?

[Laser blasts]

I didn't want to have to do this.

Dave? It's waffle time.

What are you doing, dave?

Let's do this!

♪♪♪

[Car honks]

Efficient.

I am har-e 10,000, hammock assistant.

Warning! Hammock violation!

No. I am protecting this hammock!

[Lasers blast]

Ooh!

Both: eh.

Har-e: [powering down] safety and protocol.

I knew robots were trouble.

[Relaxed] ahh...

Scaredy: so relaxing.

Ha! And I don't even care about that debris down there.

Dave: yeah! Take that rock!

[Rumbling]

Scaredy: uh-oh!

Scaredy: guess we shoulda listened to the robot.

Dave: yup. Yup, we shoulda.