01x03 - Paddle Dogs / Looking for Richard

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

Excuse me!

Excuse me! Who are you?

Did you wipe your feet when you came in?

♪♪♪

Announcer: come on, balsa city,

Make some noise for your paddle dogs!

[Cheering and whistling]

Is there anything more exciting

Than paddleball?

Skydiving.

Okay, okay. Other than skydiving,

Is there any- full contact cricket.

[Smack] other than those two thing-

Dave: medieval puppets.

Ye to be and whatnot.

Hark! Forsooth!

Do you find paddleball exciting?!

Very!

[ba*ls patter]

Scaredy and dave: g-o! G-o! G-o!

G-o! G-o! G-o!

[ba*ls whack]

Vendor: hotdogs! Get your hotdogs!

Hey! [Laughs]

[Scaredy eats politely, dave eats noisily]

[Ball thumps steadily]

[Eating noisily]

[Shudders]

High-five!

[Splat]

Scaredy: look at him, just handing out towels.

Lame!

That's his job - handing out towels.

Well, he could do it with some flare.

Those towels are so amazing!

I'm touched by their beauty.

Crowd: [chanting] scaredy! Scaredy! Scaredy!

Dave: scaredy. Scaredy. Scaredy.

Scaredy, the paddledogs won!

They did?

Announcer: they did it!

[Cheering] woo hoo! Hooo!

Announcer: who would like to celebrate with the team

In the locker room?

Are you being serious? Are you?

Announcer: this is serious, folks.

You might be celebrating with the team

If you're in section... C!

I'm in section c. Is it me?!

Please just tell me!

I molt when I am under stress.

Announcer: if you're in row 14.

F-f-four-fourteen?!

Oh, come on, lucky rabbit's foot!

Rabbit: seriously,

I must get home.

Announcer: the winner of the locker room passes is...

Seat number 508!

Crowd: [collective groans of disappointment]

I won. I won!

[Singsongy] ♪ we get to party with the paddle dogs! ♪

Woof, woof-woof-woof, woof, woof!

We?

You're my best buddy, aren't ya?

Of course I'm taking ya with me!

It's what best friends do!

[Whimpers emotionally]

I love you too!

Scaredy: let's go.

[Cheering]

Dave: hear that?

My best buddy won passes to the locker room.

The locker room.

He's taking me!

Not one of you random strangers.

Me!

Scaredy: [pants] hi. Winners.

We. 508. Won. Locker room people. Us.

[Sniffing]

[Licks] okay. Here ya are,

One locker room pass.

Scaredy: uh, the voice said "passes."

Plural. I.e., More than one.

Like two.

Nope. Just one.

But I can't go in without my buddy.

Dave: maybe we should just head home?

Well... We do have one pass,

So technically you could go in-

[Doors thwap as they swing]

Bet you didn't think he'd do that, did ya?

I'm sure he'll be right out.

[Watch ticks]

[Sighs sadly]

Scaredy: but he was supposed to say "no, scaredy,

You won the pass,

You should go in and have your name chanted

By the balsa city paddle dogs."

[Whines]

Dave: scaredy!

[Gasp of excitement]

Hey, scaredy...

Dave!

Got a pen?

What?

Paddle dog: we got one, dave!

Never mind, we found one!

This is the best thing I ever won!

[Whines, deflated]

[Garbage clatters, scaredy whines]

[Lightning crashes, rain patters]

[Car whooshes by, water splashes]

[Moans]

[Splashing]

[Thunder rumbles]

[Growls angrily]

No, richard, I do not wanna "talk it out".

I'm going to bed!

[Owl hoots, crickets chirp]

[Rooster crows]

[Rapid knocking at the door]

Good morning, david.

Scaredy, it was awesome!

Glad you had fun.

Fun? I've never had more fun!

I got to meet all the players.

They called me dave.

Sometimes doug, but mostly dave.

How very nice for you.

And, 'cause it was raining,

I got a ride home in a bright purple limo!

[Growls]

Maybe I'll skip breakfast today.

I seem to have lost my appetite.

Not feeling good?

Yeah, I think I might have a case

Of backstabbing-friend-itis!

[Gasps] sounds serious.

Oh, guess what else happened last night.

...spraying each other with sodas and laughing

And they were like "dave! Dave! Dave!"

And I was like, "this is so cool!"

They said they couldn't imagine anyone funner

Coming into the locker room.

I almost cried!

[Bus rumbles off]

Dave: ...with those little coloured marshmallows that taste fruity,

And then they gave me this!

It's autographed by the whole team!

I'm trying to work here, dave.

Best part of all...

Oh, it gets better?

They're looking for a new towel boy

And guess who got the job?

Guess!

Come on... Guess.

[Growls through gritted teeth]

Is your fenderbackstanitis acting up?

Scaredy: [screams]

I can't believe you went into the locker room

And left me standing in the hallway all night!

But you told me to go in.

And how could you take the job of towel boy?

You know how I appreciate a well folded towel.

We could do it together.

No. You take the job.

I'll go to the game

And have a fun time without you.

Okay! Have fun!

[Cries]

Whoa!

Scaredy: one ticket please.

Olm: all right, two tickets coming up.

No, I said one.

You couldn't have said one.

That would mean you're coming to the game alone.

I am!

Wow. Awkward.

Uh, free bobble-head to commemorate

Tonight's new towel boy?

[Sighs]

[Crowd cheers, camera shutters click]

Hey, guys!

Paddle dogs: doug! Hey, doug!

Ready for towel boy duty?

Am i?!

Ahhh!

Am i?

[Gasps] scaredy! Hey, scaredy!

That's my pal scaredy.

Scaredy! Scaredy!

Having fun?

Yeah!

Having fun alone!

Woo-hoo!

Announcer: l-l-l-let's get ready to paddle!

[Crowd cheers wildly]

Scaredy: o! O! O!

O... This isn't working.

[ba*ls whack]

Vendor: hot dogs! Getch'yer hot dogs!

Ungh!

Vendor: face wipes! Getch'yer face wipes!

[Pattering]

Announcer: first point to the paddle dogs!

High-five!

Spectator: hey, watch it, buddy.

[Gags]

Ow!

[Moans]

So exciting.

Buck: yeah, so buddy wins a pass to the locker room,

But his pal swipes it and goes in without him.

Wow! Some friend!

Sounds like a horrible, horrible,

Horrible person!

Vendor: hotdogs, cold drinks,

Knapsacks full of guilt.

[Thud]

And that's why it's just not as much fun

Without dave.

And, well,

I guess I did tell him to go in without me.

I'm tearing up over here.

Friendship is precious!

[Nervous chuckle]

Announcer: looks like the paddle dogs are starting to get sweaty.

Time to see what the new towel boy is made of.

Paddle dog 1: towel! Need a towel over here.

Paddle dog 2: where's my towel?!

[Whimpers nervously]

Dave, no.

Paddle dog: buddy, we're calling for towels!

You wanna keep this job or not?!

[Spits] um...

Uh, you know who would do a much better job?

My pal scaredy squirrel.

Paddle dog 1: whoa!

Paddle dog 2: whoa! Ungh!

Paddle dog 3: whoa!

Announcer: it's game point.

Team captain vs team captain.

This is for all the marbles!

No, sir! You ain't gettin' my marbles!

Don't even... [Marbles clatter]

Awww...

Dave! You gotta fold to towels!

Like this. You can do it.

Scaredy! I need you!

You got it, buddy.

'Scuse me. Pardon me.

Towel emergency.

Both: [in unison] I'm sorry about-

No. I was the one who-

Paddle dog 1: the captain needs a towel!

Agh!

[Sweat drips]

[Elephant trumpets]

[Laughs]

[Puppy barks, bear growls]

[Snake hisses]

[Paddle ba*ls patter]

[Gasps and grunts]

[Leaping grunt]

[Slow motion yell] aahhh....!

Crowd: [cheering]

Announcer: and the paddle dogs win!

[Wild cheering] woo-hoo! Yeah!

Go towels!

Announcer: wait just a minute.

I'm getting word there's been a technical error.

The paddle dogs have too many towel boys on the floor.

The paddle dogs lose!

[Collective gasp]

Announcer: oh the humanity!

Why? Oh why?

[Snarling and growling]

[Nervous laugh] friendship?

Man: it's their fault!

[Angry shouting, elephant trumpets]

Catch you later, buddy,

Right now I gotta run for my life.

I'll run with ya.

It's what best friends do.

Aww... Crowd: get 'em!

Aahhhh!

Crowd: [angry shouting]

Scaredy: aaahhhhh!

♪♪♪

[Alarm rings]

Good morning, richard.

Slipperific! Ha ha!

[Food rattles]

[Cereal rattles]

Eat up, best plant buddy.

[Slurping noises]

[Laughs]

[Acorns laugh]

[Laughing] it's funny 'cause it's true!

Wanna go outside, boy?

Huh? Huh? Do ya?

It's a hot one.

You do not want to mess with the spf.

[Hums a tune]

Dave: scaredy! Scaredy!

I found this at the stash n' hoard!

It was just sitting there!

It's a turnip.

A vegetable.

Awww, I wanted it to be fun.

Hey, hey, dave,

Turnips are like the second funnest tuber ever!

Take a look at this.

Turnip hat!

Turnip on a stick.

Turnip hacky sac!

Oof!

Turnip staring contest.

Wow.

Dave! Let's see how many fun things

We can do with this veggie!

I love turnip tuesday.

Scaredy: [laughs]

[Playful laughter]

[Laughing]

[Sizzling heat]

Scaredy: I'm a turnip. Dave: I'm a turnip.

Scaredy: I'm a turnip. Dave: I'm a turnip.

Scaredy: I'm a turnip. Dave: I'm a turnip.

Scaredy: I'm a turnip. Dave: I'm a turnip.

I hate theatre.

[Richard sizzles in the heat]

[Glasses clink, slurping sound]

[Spit] yuck!

[Slurping]

[Spit] yuck!

[Sizzling]

Scaredy: five hundred thirty-two ways to use a turnip.

That almost beat artichoke thursday!

Huh. I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Wash paws, brush teeth, stack socks,

Take richard out.

Nope. Guess not.

[Light clicks off, rooster crows]

[Dinging]

Good morning, richard.

Richard!

Aaahhhh-

Aaahhhh-

Aaahhhh!

No, no-no-no-no!

Dave: hey, scaredy,

Wanna watermelon wednesday with me?

[Cries]

And then i... Why?

[Sobbing] oh why...

It's okay, fruit makes me cry too.

Hey, where's richard?

[Bawling]

He was right here and then- [gasps]

What if he was taken by the plant poachers

Of the seven seas!

Throw him in the salad spinner!

[Clank]

Vikings!

Either that or he just got lost.

I cannot, will not,

Won't rest until I find richard.

You with me?

Mmm, he's not in here.

[Eating noisily]

[Train rumbles]

Scaredy: have you seen richard? Huh?

Seen him? Yes? Yes? No?

Yes?

He's about... Oh, yay high.

Green skin.

A little judgemental.

Scaredy: richard! Here boy.

Come here, richard.

Huh? [Titters]

Richard! [Feedback squeals]

Dave: scaredy! Scaredy! I found him.

[Whines sadly]

Sorry!

So please, if you've seen him,

Call now.

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Hello?

Yes!

Of course I'd like a subscription

To bacon monthly!

Ohhh.

Scaredy: have you seen richard?

Excuse me. Have you seen him?

Your shoelace is untied. Have you seen my plant?

[Yawns]

Maybe we should start looking again tomorrow.

You go, I'm gonna keep- [snores]

Dave: see ya later.

[Snoring]

Uh? [Weeps sorrowfully]

Have you seen my plant?

Uh, I think I saw a plant.

This plant? Exactly 27 centimeters tall?

Genus rickatus rollicus plantopolis?

Yeah, saw it with some fish.

Scaredy: a fish? Bird: uh-huh.

A blonde wig, had the crazy eyes.

Sally fishlips! I could kiss you!

But it's really a germ issue.

Not you specifically.

Hug?

I'm coming, richard!

[Bell dings]

[Screams]

[Objects clatter, dryer whirs, liquid spritzes]

Oh hi, scaredy, what a surprise.

Richard.... Missing... [Panting]

Telethon... Hugged a bird...

He said... Saw fish... And then...

Wha...whaaa?

Uh...

Sally: [titters] who left those here?

Uh... Richard!

Don't you ever do this to me again!

[Laughs] I can't stay mad at you.

Sally: yesterday, when I was staring longingly at your house,

I noticed richard needed a drink,

So I brought him home.

Oh, thank you! I could ki... Heh...

I think somebody would like to get back home.

[Grunts]

[Grunts of effort]

Richard, heh, what are you doing?

What's going on? It's time to go.

I don't think he wants to.

What? Why not?

Maybe you shouldn't have left him at home,

All day, with no one to nurture him.

It was a mistake!

You could say sorry.

Nah, he's just a little... Stuck.

[Straining] come on!

Yeowch!

Hey, sally, gimme a hand.

I don't know.

If richard wants to stay,

I can't force him to leave.

But he's my plant!

Don't worry,

I can come by every day

And give you updates on how he's doing.

Like a date. Ahhhh! We could be dating!

[Nervous laughter]

All right, sounds like a plan.

Okay, it's a plan. Okay?! Okay?! Bye!

But, but...

[Sad sigh]

Bird: girl trouble?

Plant problems.

[Knock at the door]

Hey, richard, I got you a new pot.

It's got a big screen tv,

And a recliner...

With hot root massage!

[Whirring]

Uh...

[Knocking]

Hey, richard.

Dave and I are gonna go have lunch.

Maybe catch a plant zombie movie.

I have made tons of extra fertilizer.

I can't remember my line.

[Laughs awkwardly and sighs]

[Knocking]

Please!

Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!

Thanks for the slippers, richard.

They're fluffacious! [Laughs]

Slipperific.

They're slipperific!

[Boom]

Fine! I don't need you.

I can get any old plant.

Hear that? Any old plant!

[Water patters]

One plant, please.

The kind that will make another plant

Jealous enough to come home. [Bawls uncontrollably]

Uh, how 'bout this one?

I will call him, richard...sonleetonshon.

That's right!

Richardsonleetonshon. That's a name.

[Weeps]

[Mop sloshes]

Oww!

The old richard was less bitey.

I just got him to make richard jealous.

He's gonna come crawling back any minute.

Don't ya think apologizing would- ahhhh!

Uh, you two get to know each other.

See ya, bye!

So, what do you wanna do today, richardsonleetonshon?

[Growls]

[Gulps nervously] do you, uh...

Do you like stuff?

[Horse whinnies]

Sally: what are you watching this for?

The miss pretty kitty pageant is on.

Now that is miss duchess butterfly,

She's won seven years in a row!

But then three years ago she had to give up her crown

Due to a scandal!

[Deep growling]

Scaredy: what do you want from me?

I gave you water, fertilizer...

A cute little hat!

[Roars]

Ah! Oh! Hey! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ah!

Huh? Agh! Ungh.

Why are you doing this to me?!

"Squirrious eaticus"?

Sweet acorns! You're a squirrel eating plant!

[Slurps]

[Grunts of effort]

[Buttons beep, phone rings]

I will call you jose

And I will love you and you will be my pet.

Ahhh!

Aahhhhh!

[Growling]

[Plant slurps, scaredy grunts]

I'm gonna be plant food

And I never even apologized to richard.

Hello. Richard...

I'm sorry I left you out all day.

I'm sorry for everything.

You take care, buddy.

I'm sure you and sally are gonna be really happy together.

[Horrified scream]

[Huge chomp, snarling]

Scaredy: [muffled cries and grunts]

[Plant yelps]

Oh!

Yuck!

Richard?

[Shrieks]

[Whacking and punching sounds, bell dings, horn honks]

[Chomp!]

Richard! Noooo!

[Attack scream]

[Slow motion cry] noooooo...!

[Crack, plant squeals]

[Heavy, clattering thump]

[Noisemaker honks and squeals]

[Thud]

I could kiss you!

If it weren't for the...

Ah, what the heck!

Ugh!

[Chuckles]

Richard! Here, richard! Where are-

Hello!

Aww, looks like you could use a drink of water.

And then we could hang out at my house

And watch the pretty kitty pageant!

Ms. Kit-kat vanderlay is getting dangerously close

To winning.

♪♪♪

♪ It's scaredy squirrel's safety corner! ♪

♪ Scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪

Paddle ball edition.

The most important safety feature of paddle ball

Is the elastic.

Really? What would happen without it?

Watch.

♪♪♪

[Sweat drips]

[Plink]

[Ball clanks off objects and zips around room]

Agh! Whoa!

[Ball skids to a halt]

Phew! Ah! Hoo.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Owww!

Pain. Lots of pain.