01x01 - Sticky Situation / Cowlicked

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

Excuse me!

Excuse me! Who are you?

Did you wipe your feet when you came in?

♪♪♪

[Traffic honks and rumbles]

[Loud snoring] alarm buzzes]

Radio dj: wake up, balsa city!

It's a beautiful day out there.

Steve, how's traffic this mor-

Huh! Looking good.

[Muffled gagging]

But there are... Seems to be...

Agh!

Dave!

What happened to my radio?

It don't work no more.

What about the backup clock?

Dave: what?

I was playing "find the cuckoo!"

[Spring sproings]

Winner! Well, what time is it?

Uh... 8:55?

I'm gonna be late for work!

[Iron hisses]

[Pleased sigh]

[Chuckles happily]

[Chomps and gulps]

[Laughs]

Dave: woo-oo! Way to go, scaredy.

You can do it! Don't be late!

Dave: give me an "s"!

Give me a... Uh... "K"?

Ah, whatever! Go squirrel!

And now, uniform!

[Whimpering]

A stain?!

[Goop sloshes]

[Slurping]

Mmm! Mapley.

How could this have happened?

Dave: hug that tree! That one!

Oh... Hug it!

[Laughs happily]

Hug this tree!

[Giggles]

Ah, good times... Good times.

Dave! I told you to stop wearing my clothes

When you play hug that tree!

Aww, but yours are more fun.

If nestor sees me in a dirty uniform, I'm...

[Throat cutting noise]

Dave: what's the big deal about a stain?

I've been wearing the same underwear for five years.

But I am not like you, dave.

I'm cle-e-ean!

[Thump]

There! It's not so bad.

Nobody'll even notice. Right, dave?

Ungh. Dave?

See? Not as fun.

No time!

[Traffic whirs, trolley dings]

[Bawling]

[Grunts]

That's my bus!

[Paper rustles]

Pick a card, any card.

Scaredy: [pants of exertion]

I meant one!

Get back in there!

Crowd: [disturbed shouts] hey! Ow! Watch it!

I made it! Agghhh! Sweet acorns!

[Grunts of effort]

Nestor: and that's how I discovered the most efficient way

To make a sandwich.

Fascinating.

[Gasps] mildred!

What happened to your name tag?!

You're lucky!

One more mess-up like that and...

[Mimics g*nf*re] ptchew! Ptchew!

[Slurps]

[Belches]

Uh... Bathroom duty. [Clears throat]

I'm looking for a rule breaker today

To clean the toilets.

The regular guy can't do it.

[Whimpers quietly]

[Groans and moans]

[Monster roars, employee screams]

Hmm...

[Whimpering]

Hey, scaredy,

I think you have a little something

On your uniform.

This isn't the 9:15 bus.

Aahhhh!

Ya gotta help me, dave! Ya gotta!

Take it easy, scare!

We'll have this off in a jiffy.

[Objects clatter and clank]

There. Good as new.

Really? Are you sure?

Wendy: ewww! Disgusting.

[Gags and burps]

[Vomits]

This is not good. Huh?

Gord: guys, watch this!

Hey!

Buck and wendy: cool!

Hey, hey, hey. Stop it!

Why'd you do that to scaredy?

That's not cool.

Wow! Thanks, dave.

I'll show you cool.

[Boom]

Wendy and gord: cool!

Buck: [gags and vomits]

Tchew! Ptchew

Yowza! Gotta go!

Scaredy: ahhh!

Dave: ooh, more popcorn.

Ah-ha!

[Slurp]

Ahhh!

Uh?! [Crash]

[Spindle whirs]

There, perfect!

Ungh! [Vacuum whirs]

Sheep: [crying]

[Marker squeaks]

No.

[Throat clear nearby]

Oh, hey, nestor. [Nervous chuckling]

How's it going?

Just checking out the bottles here

In a clean uniform and everything.

[Toilet brush goop sloshes]

[Whimpers nervously]

[Whimpers]

[Gulps]

[Intense tribal drums beat]

I didn't know he was bilingual.

[Bottles clank, scaredy sighs]

[Sniffs and gasps]

Aaaaggggggghhhhhhhhh!

I can't clean up that bathroom. I can't!

Maybe you could just borrow a uniform.

People sweat in uniforms.

Do you know what sweat is made of?

Uric acid, ammonia... Sweat!

Besides, everyone's working right now.

Um...

Why don't you look in there?

[Flies buzz]

Mmm, yeah. Okay.

Here I come.

[Wincing]

Huh. "Bob."

Never heard of him.

Genius!

[Cans clank, price g*n clicks]

[Cans clank]

Yes, sir! Everything's coming up scaredy.

Elderly turtle: excuse me... Bob,

Could you reach the wax on the top shelf?

Oh, heh, my name's not bob, it's actually-

Elderly turtle: oh, I think I know your name.

No, it's just- ungh!

Never mind.

Here you go, sir.

Thanks... Bob!

[Crunch]

Yeow!

Scaredy: [laughs] and then he thought I was bob.

Pretty ridiculous, huh?

No talk. Food.

[Eating noisily]

Employees: [groans of disgust]

Hey!

[Gasps] dave,

I think those guys are giving me the evil eye.

Nah. That's just pink eye.

[Pus sloshes]

Scaredy: not him.

Them.

Employees: [growling]

You're imagining stuff.

Yeah, maybe.

Huh?

That's for being such a jerk, bob.

[Gord chuckles, employees "ooh..."]

Scaredy: what are you talking about?

I'm scaredy.

Gord: oh, nice try!

Scaredy's got a totally different name tag.

Guys, I've worked here for seven years.

You threw popcorn at me this morning!

Mildred, I helped deliver your son!

[Belches]

Listen, just ask dave.

This is all a big misunderst-

[Frightened whimpers, fleeing screams]

[Gasps] they think you're bob!

[Moans]

Buck: [screaming]

Bob's back!

[Crash]

[Gasps]

Bob? The same bob I fired all those years ago?

The bob who vowed he would one day return

And exact his ultimate revenge?!

Buck: [screams] yeah. That guy.

Aahhhh!

Nestor: [panicked screams]

[Crash]

Scaredy: eeeeeee!

Sheep: hey, bob, you sold us sour milk.

Scaredy: aahhhh!

Gord: you still owe me five bucks, bob!

I don't think bob was very nice.

[Sirens wail]

Bob! Library swat team.

We demand you return your overdue library books.

Enforcers: [clucking] book! Book-book! Book! Book-book!

What? No. I don't have any books.

I'm not bob!

Library card.

Sure!

See, right there -

Scaredy orville squir- ahhh!

Head enforcer: faker!

Enforcers: book! Book-book! Book!

You are hereby banned from the library...

For life.

Nooo!

Reporter: we are live on the scene where bob,

Who by all accounts is a horrible, horrible guy,

Has just been charged with overdue library books.

I'm not bob.

Reporter: the lines are open.

The question today: bob - big jerk

Or really, really big jerk?

I knew it! I did, you know.

Crowd: [shouting angrily]

Look, guys, I can explain.

Wendy: yeah, right!

[Angry growling]

Scaredy: dave, what are you doing?

This was your idea.

They make a compelling argument.

Gord: well, come on, there's more of us than him.

Let's get him!

Crowd: yeah! [Stunned gasps]

Crowd: [angry shouting]

[Pitchforks clank]

[Angry shouting]

I can't keep doing this.

I came to work in a dirty uniform

And I have to face the music.

Right now!

[Angry shouting]

Uh, where'd he go?

Nestor: bob? Bob?!

My office is a happy place,

My office is a happy place.

[Teeth chatter] ahhh!

I'm not here!

Scaredy: it's me.

I've got something to tell you.

Gord: there he is. Get bob!

Crowd: [chanting] get bob, get bob, get bob.

Aahhh!

Please, don't hurt me, bob.

I'm too important to suffer!

Scaredy: I'm not bob.

Look.

Yes, scaredy.

I, um... Knew it was you all along.

It's my fault.

I had this stain on my shirt and then I tried to-

Is that a rip in your uniform,

Young man?!

Have you no honour or self-respect?

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

The important thing is that you told the truth.

Really? No!

Bathroom duty!

[Feigned chuckle]

Looking good, squirrel man.

Yep. And check out my uniform.

What's that for?

What, you mean my chair of safety?

[Monster roars]

Back, back, back!

What is that?

Who? Me?

Name's bob.

What now?

Bob: [roars]

Scaredy and dave: [laughing] hug that tree!

Hug all! Hug that one. Hug it! Hug it!

♪♪♪

[Alarm dings, ticking sounds]

[Nuts clatter]

[Yawns, eats noisily]

[Squirt]

[Brushing sounds]

[Shower water patters]

[Faucet squeaks]

[Sproing]

[Slurps]

[Clink]

[Train whooshes by]

[Traffic rumbles]

Elderly turtle: it's... Beautiful.

He's made tuna into art!

[Blows]

Yes I did.

[Train whooshes by]

You nervous about the paddleball match tomorrow?

Nervous? Ha!

Check me out.

[Ball clunks]

Dave: wow.

I think I've got a real shot

At beating that paddy patterson.

Paddy: hope you're ready to lose tomorrow

At the paddle ball competition.

That trophy is coming home with me!

You got that? With the pad-man!

I can't wait to show him

Some of my razzle-paddle-dazzle!

Dave: huh? Huh? Yeah.

That's right, rabbits.

Oh yeah, horse guy?

In your face, sea cucumber!

Which end is his face?

You are totally going to beat paddy patterson!

Paddy: there's no way you're gonna beat me, scaredy,

I'm the best paddle baller ever...

Good night, scaredy.

Can't wait for tomorrow!

I am so ready!

[Intense music plays]

[Giggles] your hair's waving at me.

Wha?

Why do you have that with you?

You never know when aliens will take over the planet

And make sl*ves of anyone

Who isn't wearing a matching shoe and hat ensemble.

O-kay...

Here, I can take care of this.

Huh...

Let me. [Cracks knuckles]

[Slurping]

[Winces]

[Saliva drips]

[Titters]

[Splat]

Probably be gone in the morning.

[Laughs, mirror crunches]

Good night, scaredy, see you tomorrow.

Well, it's not like it's gonna change my life.

[Groans]

[Owl hoots, lights click]

[Rooster crows]

[Alarm dings and crashes]

[Snap]

[Nuts clatter]

[Grunts]

[Muffled cries]

[Moans]

[Muffled screams]

[Toothbrush swishes]

[Toothpaste hisses]

Agh!

[Faucet squeaks, scaredy screams]

Whew! [Tub rattles]

[Floor cracks]

Agh!

[Sproing]

[Clunk, scaredy yelps]

[Whack]

[Train whooshes by, traffic whirs]

[Price g*n clicks]

Elderly turtle: he's just another squirrel with a price g*n.

This creamed corn lacks excitement.

[Gasps] oh no.

Dave! I can't stack.

I can't stack!

Well, at least you can still paddle.

Yeah, you're right.

Let's give 'er a whirl.

My razzle-paddle-dazzle's gone.

[Moans] I'll give it one more try.

Hah!

[expl*si*n] scaredy: nooo!

It's the cowlick.

We got to fix it or I'll lose my match

Against paddy patterson!

Paddy: you're gonna lose, loser!

Losing loser on the loose, loosey!

Scaredy, operation cowlick starts now

And I'm on it!

Yeah!

[Creaking]

Almost done here.

Dave, we really need to get going, so-

Almost.

So how're we gonna get rid of this cow- agghhh!

[Objects clatter]

Mmm... Huh.

Maybe we should try it my way.

[Water explodes]

[Engine whirring]

Dave: ha ha ha!

[Defeated sigh]

[Muffled] how long before our faces return back to normal?

[Muffled] I have no idea!

It's called a cowlick for a reason.

I must have been licked by a cow.

Uh, you'd remember being licked by a cow.

Maybe not.

[Slurp]

You're dre-e-eaming.

It's just a dre-e-e-e-eam,

Moo...moo...

So if a cow licking me caused this,

Then me licking a cow should fix it!

[Bottle spritzes]

[Squeegee squeaks, buffer whines]

Cow: [moos]

[Grunts and slurps]

Cow: moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Scaredy: [grunting]

Did it work?

This has gotta go. I'll try anything!

Anything's my specialty! Come on.

Yes, you've got a squirrel-lick.

Whatever!

It's not like it's going to change my life.

[Clunk]

[Thump]

Dave: so, how's school?

I don't go to school anymore.

I work at the stash 'n hoard.

Dave: uh-huh. Oh, great.

You enjoy that?

Yes. Maybe the dryer.

Dave: so what's your favorite subject? Is it math?

The cowlick, dave. Focus!

Dave: I bet it's math.

Or celsius.

This isn't working.

[Cinder block crashes]

Aahhh...

Scaredy: [sighs] the game's in an hour.

And this cowlick is here to stay.

It's a disaster. A disaster, dave!

Uh... What if I covered for ya?

Lemme!

[Grunts of efforts]

Hey!

Or maybe not.

[Wig swishes]

Huh... Covered.

Dave, that's it.

It is? Yeow!

Scaredy: follow me.

[Scaredy chuckles, dave yelps]

[Clacking]

Dave: oh, scaredy, look at this.

You gotta try it, it's fun!

Dave. Scaredy, put this on!

Thad: [clears throat loudly]

Welcome to thadius wigs.

I am thadius. These are my wigs.

Your needs?

I'm just looking for something simple.

Short, brown-

He's playing in a really important paddle ball game

Against this paddy patterson guy-

[Phone rings]

Thadius wigs, how can help you?

Paddy: the match is only one hour away, scaredy.

I am coming! Can you-

Paddle ball?

Gentlemen...

I have what you seek.

[Head cranks, buttons beep]

[Gasp in awe]

I'll take it.

Paddy: totally didn't think you were going to show.

Thought you'd bail. Skip town.

Tuck tail and run. Duck and cover.

Knick, knack, paddy whack give a dog a bone

This old man-

Hey! Ni-ice cowlick.

What happened, get licked by a cow?

And he also licked one! So... Yeah.

Scaredy: I'm here and I'm gonna beat you

And I'm gonna win that trophy!

Not gonna happen.

It could...

...n't. I've been the winner

At a coveted k-division cup of mediocrity

For three years now.

[Heavy metal electric guitar riff plays]

Yeah. Oh yeah. Watch me now...

[Paddy laughs, dave and scaredy growl]

I want that trophy.

Crowd: [cheering and laughing]

Man: what's that on his head?

Is that a cowlick?

Man 2: he can't win with a cowlick.

Murray: all right, guys.

May the best paddler win.

Wait! I need a second here.

Crowd: [impressed gasps]

[Gasps of awe] ahhh... [Whistling]

[Gulps nervously]

The game today is...

"Up the creek with a paddle."

Crowd: [concerned murmurs]

First one to miss loses.

Paddle up.

[Water rushes]

[Gasps]

Paddy: you should give up right now.

In your dreams!

Murray: set ball!

[Whistle blows, crowd cheers]

[Paddle ba*ls thump]

[Cheering]

[Paddle ba*ls thump]

Give 'em some of that razzle-pazzle-daddle-

Whizzle-fizzle... Fizzle!

[Paddle ba*ls thump, crowd chatters, impressed]

Scaredy: check out this razzle.

[Evil chuckle]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...!

Whoa! [Crowd gasps]

Ahhh!

Nooo!

It's just not fair. I worked so hard.

I can't believe I lost because of this stupid cowlick!

Dave: but, scaredy, you haven't lost.

Yeah! I'm... Paddling!

This cowlick won't keep me down!

Crowd: [cheering and whistling]

You're okay, paddy.

Don't look at that dumb cowlick.

Watch the ball. [Teeth chatter]

[Yelps and grunts]

[Whistle blows]

Scaredy wins!

Crowd: [cheering]

Woo hoo!

[Wild cheering]

Paddy: ooh! Hey! Ouch!

Hey! I'm under here!

Scaredy: good night, little buddy.

[Relaxed sigh, loud thunk]

Dre-e-e-e-eaming... Moo, moo, moo...

[Creeped out shudder]

♪♪♪

Dave: ♪ it's scaredy squirrel's safety corner! ♪

♪ Scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪

In today's episode I licked a cow and-

Cow: milly! My name is milly!

Nobody needs to know that.

Licking a cow is never a good idea

Unless you know that...

Stop that.

Milly: I'm on tv! Woo hoo!

Shhh! No! This is scaredy's show.

Go ahead, scaredy.

[Clears throat] so, never lick a cow.

I really enjoyed working with you guys.

Dave: argh!

As you can see,

I've charted the pros and cons of cow licking.

Notice the size of- wha...?

Cow: [playful growl] grrr!

Moo?

Dave: out! Out! Out!

And so, in conclusion,

I would say a cow is the least safe animal to...

[Ragtime piano music plays]

Dave: stop the madness!

What? This is your show!

If you can't lick 'em,

You might as well dance with 'em.

[Music plays, feet tap]

[Laughs]

Yeah!

Jazz hooves!