01x01 - Guardia urbana

[bunniefuu]

What do you feel?

I don't know. You?

I already said.

Yeah, okay.

I get it, but...

- we should think about it.
- Mm.

- We've thought about it enough. I'm done.
- What do you...?

Yeah, okay, I hear you.

We've been here so much.
This is it, I'm out.

They're great, aren't they?
Medium density, jacquard lining.

- It's tricky.
- Uh...

Which one do you recommend?

I mean, I told you yesterday, uh...

See, I recommend high density.

But that's very personal, you know?
It's... I don't know.

They're all very good.
They'll last you 20 years.

With high density,
your back ends up like "oof."

Osteopaths tell you they're great,
but don't they don't use them.

You're the one in pain, right?

No, it's only at first.
I'd say it's almost seconds.

Do you like the lamp? I have it at home.

Pau?

Go get the door. Go, go, go.

Listen up! No one's leaving here!

- Do you buy them to...?
- Get your wallets ready,

because...

...Don Hogar discount week is finally here!

It's all good, okay?

Woo!

Yeah, so, we'll take the, uh,
high density. Yeah.

So, we'll take that
and get outta here, I think.

Wait, um...

I don't feel comfortable.

- Let's not rush into this.
- Okay, we can get the spring mattress.

- The whole moving thing.
- Huh?

- The moving in thing.
- Moving in, why?

- Huh?
- No.

- I was going to get help, it's not...
- But you...

Um...

But it's not that alone.

We can talk about the little things
that add up over time, you know.

- But not here.
- Uh, but...

But, if they're little things,
we can work on 'em, right? What...

- What little things?
- I don't know.

You don't take care of me, and
you're afraid of everything you encounter.

You have no projects.

You don't take chances.

And our sex life is lousy.

I don't look up to you.

Okay.

Yeah, but... But, like,
this is my project now. You're it.

Sorry.

Uh, I just wanted to clarify

that you need to pay for the jug
and the mattress,

because of the stain.

But you still get
a 25 percent discount off everything.

- I can wash it, right?
- Yeah.

Feli, I just need a break.

I really don't want to hurt you,
but this is how I feel about things.

- Uh, yeah.
- Mm.

I mean, it takes time for sex to work.
You can't judge it in year two.

You're so right. Maybe I'm just...
I was thinking about this.

I don't wanna pry
in your personal business,

but her point isn't wrong.

- It's not?
- No. You lack passion.

I don't see your passion at work.

- No?
- I don't.

- What do you mean?
- Uh, no, no, no. Look...

I've got an idea. Here you go.

Prove you have initiative.

Give the job a break,
and instead do what you like.

I don't like the idea
of leaving you guys alone.

Let me worry about that.
No, no. We're...

I want you to be alright.
That's why you're here, right?

Okay, I haven't gone
on vacation in a while.

I'm not talking about vacation,
I'm talking about your fear.

Take a risk, make decisions.

Don't be scared.

Oh, no. Cause, I mean, I...

I-I got my new place.
I bought a bed today.

How much money do you need, Felipe?

So you can relax.

Crisis is opportunity.

- You think?
- Yeah.

Which one?

Uh...

Right, this one.

Victoria Márquez called.

Apparently there's an issue
with their payout?

Okay, I don't...
So, explain to them that it was the bank.

Why don't you explain it?

Oh...

I like when she gets
feisty like that, you know?

I wanna help here. Okay?

So, you're taking the money, alright?

I'm gonna write a check for...
How much do you need?

Forget it, I'll give you cash.

Here you go, look.

And a little more should be enough
to follow your dreams.

Alright.

Thank you, Dad.

Here I'm not your dad.

I'm just Daniel.

Guys!

Felipe is leaving to follow his dreams!

Thanks, guys.

Now, if you could clean out your desk.

Right.

Was it something I did?

Dad can be manipulative, you know?

- Still.
- Ugh, relax.

Yeah? Because there'll be
a silver lining to this.

- Sorry, dude, I don't have anything.
- I know.

That guy stole your backpack.

No! No! No! No!

Hey!

That's my backpack!

I had so much cash.

It's okay.

- I'll walk you to the police station.
- Yeah, right.

The police are useless,
they're not gonna help you here.

No offense.

I'm not police.

I'm an Urban Guard.

We are introducing
a new service for the community.

A prevention and orientation corps.

Thank you, sir!

An unarmed civilian corps

composed of people just like you.

How about it?

Forward-thinking, closeness, inclusion.

Join us and help make this city
a safer place.

Urban Guard. We are waiting for you.

For a marketing campaign,
I think it's bizarre.

I get it, man.

Who wouldn't run from masked men?

Right. Sorry for not being
a strong protective man.

I'm sensitive, you know?
Like, "deconstricted."

- Deconstructed.
- Exactly!

And everything was set.

We got a big, luminous apartment,
and she bailed on it.

I'd never bail on you.

Luminous apartments are hard to find.

You've got bad judgement.

- No kidding.
- Don't worry about it.

You've got time.

Especially if the apartment's big.

Oh, it's spacious alright.

- Two flights of stairs to get to it.
- Mm.

- You lost me there.
- What, are you lazy?

Ah.

Okay, guys,
there's like eight bars in this area.

- If I'm interrupting...
- Huh?

He only made me laugh once.
He's gotta do it three times at least.

- Mm.
- Two guys walk into a bar...

Actually beer makes me sick,
but we could have tea.

- That's three!
- You're right.

Listen, it's true.

- Diego!
- I don't work in maintenance anymore.

Come here.
Come, help me out with this thing.

- Okay, okay.
- Some mint tea or something.

Are you doing something specific?

Are you signing up for it?

No, no. I'm just here to file a complaint.

Oh, then you'll be here for hours.

We'll have tea some other time.

I want to be clear,
my girlfriend and I aren't broken up,

like, we're just on a break.

I mean, I don't want to, like, you know,

- give you the wrong impression.
- It's okay. It's okay.

We're good.

Was this a bit of a shock?

Oh, it's a wheelchair. Wow.

- Didn't notice.
- You didn't?

No, uh...

Nope. No, I didn't.

Yeah, you missed it because it's tiny.

It's really tiny.

It's nuts how small that thing is.

It's barely there.

- Good luck. Gotta go.
- Yeah, thanks.

I got it, thank you!

Huh? Sorry?

Do you have a hearing impairment,
my man?

No. Zimmerman. I'll spell it for you. Z-I...

Sorry, I just need a second, then I'll go.

Bernardo, pleasure to meet you.

My number's up.
What do I do from here?

- Your ID?
- Huh?

I told you, they took my wallet.

Then how am I supposed
to verify your identity?

But we already...
I-I'm here to file a complaint, yeah?

Oh, that's right.

Walk past these doors to the hall.

- Second office on your left.
- Thanks.

Welcome to phase two of selection.
We'd like to count you in.

We think you'll make the team.

Well, thank you so much, sir.

I feel good about it already.

Sorry, feels pretty weird to do that.

This one would be good to send incognito.

You can hide him anywhere,
which could be useful to us.

You betcha.

Well, thanks. It's cool.

- Uh, yeah. Be careful out there.
- Sure. Thanks.

I'm sorry.

- I was told that...
- Take a seat.

Oh.

How are you? My name is Miguel Rossi.
I'm the precinct's psychologist.

And I'm currently in charge.

And this is Julio García Reynoso,

commissioner and deputy security chief
of Palermo.

Alright. My name is Felipe Rozenfeld.

I-I don't know what information you need.

We'd like for you to tell us
what brought you here today,

what you're hoping to get from this.

Well, you know, I've lost so much, uh...

I was hoping to reclaim
some of what I had, at least.

That's a really good phrase. Good start.

Oh, no, no.
It's not about the money at this point.

I really hate injustice,
so if anything can to be done here...

I like the way you talk. That's excellent.

Tell us a bit about yourself.

Do you belong to any...

any minorities?

Do you have a disability of any kind?

- Why?
- We want to be as inclusive as possible.

We're trying to change our image a bit.

Ha.

Well, I don't...

Just, like, asthma and bad bowels.

- Isn't your last name Jewish?
- Yeah, I'm Jewish.

I don't think that counts
as a disability, per se.

We'd need to think it over.

It's a minority.

Oh. Yeah, you're right.

- And look, we don't have any Jews here.
- Mm.

Although that doesn't make a difference
in our image, right?

Like, in photos?

We could give him
one of those special little hats.

- Preselected.
- I'm sorry, there's been a confusion...

Selected candidates will work for a month.
You'll receive structured pay.

Uh, plus all the benefits
you see listed right there.

Oh, that's the pay.

You said there was some confusion, Felipe?

I think they misspelled my surname.
It's got a Z. They always misspell it.

- Rozenfeld?
- No, it's perfect.

- Great.
- Let's move on to the psychological tests.

- If I showed you...
- We need to clear the office now, Miguel.

Okay, welcome to the second step
of the selection process.

And how do you say the thing, um...
Mazel tov?

Is that it?

You're crazy, Felipe.
That doesn't sound like you. Huh?

Are you trying to hurt me?

Say something.

You were always different,
but you're not disabled, son.

I once dated a policeman, see,

but it wasn't a match.

- In terms of being sexual.
- Right.

I could go back to the company.
Maybe my time there isn't over yet, huh?

I think we rushed it.

Hey, working with the disabled
might do you good.

- You think?
- Sure.

It's too late.
I already gave her a promotion.

- Not a cop.
- It's not the cops.

A lot of foreigners
choose to take pictures of feet.

- Fetishists, you know.
- Oh.

And it looks like your feet
are pretty good.

They're very big feet.

- Thanks, Grandma.
- What's your shoe size?

Thirteen.

You're very creative. I'm sure
you can succeed at whatever you want.

By the way, how's Paula?

I had a dream she was pregnant.

Uh, look,
if you want to cancel the lease,

you'll have to pay
three months worth of rent.

But the studio you left
was rented already,

and we aren't really hiring new people
to show our apartments.

CAN I CANCEL THE LEASE? IS MY OLD
APARTMENT FREE? ARE YOU HIRING?

URBAN GUARD

WE ARE HERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU
GO FOR IT!

PREVENTION AND INCLUSION
JOIN US!

READY TO ACT
MEET US!

- Excuse me. How much do you weigh?
- Okay, put me down.

Huh?

Okay. Relax.

So cute girls are minorities now?

The "cute girl" is officer Figueroa's kid.

- Agustín?
- Vivian.

I dig that.

Hey, man!

I'm glad you're here.

I liked the idea of helping
and stuff like that.

Is that apartment too expensive?

Well, yeah.

- Mm, maybe we should sit?
- Sure.

Gotta catch up to me.

I feel confident, Julio.
This is gonna be great.

- Yeah, I hope so.
- Admit it's a pretty good turn out, right?

Excuse me.

Okay, it's great to, uh, see all of you.

I see some new faces.

Some of you out there I've met before,
during the interviews.

The, uh, employment office brought others.

The truth is, our selection criteria
is actually quite strict.

It will be hard to choose,

- because, well, there's a lot of you.
- Sorry.

Is this the talk about
how to renew our licenses?

No, no. That's upstairs
in the communal office.

Um, Betty, you'll have to be more precise
when giving instructions.

Well, it's not like I'm responsible
for everything.

More precision, Betty, okay?

Uh, just in case, this isn't where
you renew your disability benefits either.

Let's get out of here.

Okay.

Well...

The great news is,

we won't have to move forward
with the selection process anymore.

It's just us.

Actually, we could have
really used several more.

Well, time for the team to bond!

Okay? Okay.

And...

How are you? Huh?

Okay.

Uh, prepare for this.
An imaginary little ball.

I have it here,
I pass it to my partner. Okay?

My partner catches it, says their name
and then why they're here.

Okay, I'll start.

Okay, there you go.

Yeah, say it.

Yeah. Hi! I'm Mario.

I just got here.
I immigrated from Sweden.

Comedy! Hey!

Uh, no, uh, I came here
to try to, like, do stand-up,

but it's pretty hard, so...

Here I am, just like one about the guy...

Okay. We can do that later.
Let's not interrupt the, uh, you know.

Uh...

- Yes.
- Joni.

- "My name is Joni."
- My name is Joni. Yeah.

What brought you here today, Joni?

Well, I couldn't join the military,

and this may not be a big deal,
but it's the best I could find.

- Pass it. Pass the ball.
- Uh...

Um, okay.

I'm Sofía and I'm here because
I like adrenaline and some danger.

Yeah, but this job
is pretty chill, though.

Well, I'm also here
for the health insurance plan.

Okay.

- Do I pass it?
- Pass it. Yeah.

Check this out!

Champ!

Uh...

My name is Vivian.

I write crime novels,

and I wanted to see the monster
inside and up close.

There isn't a monster here.
We're good guys.

Okay.

Uh...

I'm Edgardo. I'm here for the money.

Okay, that's enough. I'll take the ball.

Okay, uh... It's gone now.

Why don't we do some work
to get ready to work in the streets? Okay?

Anyone up for improv?

Huh? Someone? Anyone?

A little improv?

Great.

- Who are you?
- Felipe.

Yes, I mean the character.

- Carlos.
- Carlos. Carlos.

- And what's your name?
- Sofía.

Okay. Sofía.

Sofía and Carlos. Okay?

So Carlos is walking
down the street, like...

- Yeah.
- Hey!

That's it.

What is Carlos doing?
He's doing something.

Dancing.

Yes, but what is he doing?
There's something you're doing.

Make something that would disturb...

...our public order.

- Playing the flute?
- He's drinking alcohol.

- Alcohol.
- He's drinking.

Hey!

Psycho!

Hey!

- Are you psycho?
- Really good alcohol.

- A psycho?
- No, you don't say that.

That's what you think.

But what do you say to him?
That's what this is about.

What do you say?

Again, there's no air conditioning
in the patrol cars.

- No.
- We don't have the budget for that,

- but we do for this crap.
- Okay.

Why are you drinking, butthead?

Julio, why are you doing this?

You guys figure it out, you got brains.

The Bolivian thing? Is that why?

- Are you disrespecting me?
- We repressed them. Okay.

They were disabled. We didn't know.

We are like a family.
And all of a sudden,

it looks like a bunch of weird cousins
came in through the windows by mistake.

- Go.
- What's the matter, honey?

All I'm doing is drinking.

- Don't call me that, you a*s!
- No, no, no, no.

You have to ask. You have to ask.

- And you, tone it down.
- Hey, I'm homeless!

I don't have to...

- Tone it down a little.
- I have to be truthful.

- Go away, and write some more tickets.
- In this heat?

This is 100 percent nylon!

Then help me out with Miguel, will ya?

You can tell he's trying
to be professional about it. Miguel!

- And that...
- Come here, so we can talk.

- They'll keep it going.
- You will? Do you, uh, want the ball?

- No. It's all good.
- I'll take it with me.

Go ahead.

I liked your play.

- It's a jungle out there.
- You did well.

If you don't have the basics
up your sleeve,

they'll walk all over you.
Especially you.

- Hey.
- Yeah?

Hey. Any of you excited
to meet this little guy?

Pepper spray.
Who wants to volunteer?

- Who's ready? You?
- I am.

All this effort
and we couldn't even get ten candidates.

This group might surprise us.

So what have we learned?

That we must never use violence,
unless it's the last resort.

- The very last one.
- Thanks.

It burns!

Today is an important day. Very important.

It's really moving for us to see
how excited you wonderful people are.

On the verge of tears.
That's why we have a surprise for you.

The Minister would like to say
just a few words.

- Mm?
- Okay. Plug it in.

Do you need help connecting it?

- We got it.
- The other...

I got it.

- Turn it around.
- The computer is fine the way it is.

- Like this?
- Yeah.

You're on now, Minister!

New officers, hi! You have...

...in our new inclusi... corps!

We want to tell you,

no matter if you're blind, it's a...

...and wheelchairs too!

That safety is...

back in the streets.

People...

- Thank you, Minister.
- It's thanks to you...

...are the light that guides us
so we can be closer...

Alright, I hope that today
is the start of a great relationship.

Okay. The shirts. Give 'em out.

- You got a handkerchief?
- It's clean, wipe with something else.

- Which one do you want?
- I want a jacket.

There's a... a T-shirt, a little cap.

Oh, okay. That's not necessary.
You don't need to put the...

Okay, let's get a pic for social media.

- Squeeze in a bit more.
- Move over there.

Ready? We'll take a picture now,
and then I'll tag you all later.

- Do you want me to take it?
- No. I can do it, Betty.

Oh, okay.

- No flash, Miguel.
- Yeah.

- Horizontal first and then vertical.
- Stop it, Betty.

- Mind if I?
- No.

Smile!

Great.

Now look serious, now look nice.
Real nice.

You can't drink alcohol here.
I think I'll have to give you a ticket.

I'll have to give you a ticket.

What's up?
Are you making me give you a ticket?

What, you want me to give...

- What are you doing here?
- I came to pick up some things.

I thought you'd be at work now.

Did you, like,

leave your job to work at a... gas station?

Kinda.

Officer, what's happening?

Everything's okay.

Did I just hear "officer"?

This is what the Urban Guard wears.

Urban Guard?

I saw it on the news earlier.

You gotta have guts right?

I mean there's short people,
handicapped guys, anything you want.

There are minorities,
but it's not exclusive, you know.

Like...

Yeah, the best in each field,
so to speak, are there. We're there.

But, isn't it a bit dangerous
to work as a guard?

Yeah, it's... It can be dangerous.

- Right? There's some risks.
- Uh-huh.

- Wanna get dinner?
- No.

No, no. Let's not confuse
the whole thing.

Confuse what?

No, I... want us to respect
the decision we made.

- Well...
- Well...

Have a great day tomorrow.
And do nice things.

- Bye.
- See ya.

Do you know if they're hiring over there?

Cause I have a nephew, you know?

He's a bit crazy,
and he's a bit Ret*rded, and...

The term is "disabled."
And no, they're not hiring.

MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION

How to make a good impression.

I want you to get out
in the community now.

See if anyone needs anything.

But don't act or do anything, okay?

If you need to, you contact the precinct.

Uh, so will we be armed?

No, you're unarmed, brother.

Radios? You know, for the... beep-beep.

Not for now. You can use your cellphones.

Uh, anyway.
I created this game right here,

to organize the teams, okay?

So, on one side, you will find
a quote you should recognize.

And on the other,

the philosopher who said it. Now...

I'll hand these out and you can use them
to choose your partner.

Let's start right here.

Can't we just pair up and call it a day?

Okay.

What is freedom in the end? Huh?

"Conquering yourself." Who said it?

- Go with me?
- Yeah, you got it.

Plato.

- Homie! I'm excited!
- Oh.

I want you all to be there
for ordinary citizens.

- Maybe there's a button.
- Hi. Can I assist you today?

Oh, poor guys.

God bless you.

I want people
to see us as role models.

Can I help you cross the street?

That's sweet of you, honey,
but where's your mommy?

Been dead for years, ma'am.

Do you want me to get you some ice cream?

Yeah.

Joni, I'll wait for you here.

I like chocolate chip, dulce de leche.

From now on, whenever there's
a guard nearby, there's tranquility.

Good morning, ladies.
We're from the Urban Guard.

- Yeah.
- We're happy to help.

She and I are from the bakery.

Wanna buy anything?

How long do you go on a break for?

Depends. What'd she say this was?

Who filled up my tank?!

- Wow.
- Hilarious, dude.

Hey, what's that?

And yours too! Do you carry a g*n there?

Mamma mia!

- How'd you get these?
- We paid for it.

Skinny, look! Want a cheese roll?

No, I'm vegan, Esteban!

Copy that!

Okay.

Move faster, let's go!

I gotta run.

Keep it up.

It's great what you guys are doing.
So brave.

You don't care what people say.
I love that.

Don't let anyone tell you you're morons.
See you.

See ya, dickwads!

- Hey...
- Yeah?

Think we should ask them
to stop blocking the bike lane?

Oh, yeah.

Hey!

No one there?

- No, try the doorbell?
- Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- Our first mission together.
- Yeah! Cheese!

- Nice.
- Send it to me later.

I'll tag you.

- No, just send it to me, okay?
- Okay.

- There's no doorbell.
- So bang on it.

It's open. Push, push.

Think it's okay to go in?

Yeah.

Hello, hello!

There's a van
blocking the bike lane.

Could you move it, please?

Hey...

- Keep your eyes peeled.
- Sure.

This is private property,
so we can't just do whatever we want.

Does he look familiar?

Should he?

C'mon, man!

- That was weird, right?
- Mm-hmm.

- I'm scared. What should we do?
- Call them. Call them.

Thank you for calling
the Urban Guard.

All of our operators
are busy at the moment.

Please continue to hold. We will...

- I don't have enough minutes for this.
- Give it to me.

Please continue to hold.

- Isn't that from a movie?
- Shh.

Urban Guard.
How about it? Come on.

Show what you are capable of
and join an exciting...

Let's just deal with it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Alright.

Ooh!

Okay.

I'll go in front, you go that way.

- It's cool doing this with you.
- Time for justice, my friend.

Ready.

Hello! Urban Gua...