Primal Games (2025)

[bunniefuu]

- Hey, welcome back.

- Yeah, what time is it?

- Uh, you don't want to know.

- It's that early, huh?

- Tried my best to stay quiet.

- No, it's fine.

I just, I had a nightmare.

- Uh, no, it happened.

We got married.

You said I do.

- Just drive.

Smart a*s.

Wow.

- Now that's something

you don't see every day.

- It's beautiful.

- Huh.

Not as beautiful as you.

- Yeah, Ben.

You're so cheesy.

- What, I mean it.

- I have something for you.

It was the first date.

- Now who's being cheesy?

- Do you like it?

- I love it.

You ready?

- Here?

- What?

No.

No, we gotta get going.

You know, tight schedule.

Lot of places to go, not a lot of time.

You should know, you wrote it.

- But it's our honeymoon!

- sh*t.

- Maybe we should try and turn back.

- Looks like we're going off-road.

Hold on.

This might get a little bumpy.

Should we stop?

- You crazy?

Keep going.

- What if they need our help?

I'm stopping.

- See no one's here.

I mean, maybe they already got help.

Could we please just go?

- Stay here.

- I, I don't want to disturb you,

but I was really hoping that

you guys could help me out.

You can see my van broke down.

- Yeah, we stopped to see

if anyone needed help.

- I appreciate that.

I really do.

It's hard to find decent

folk around here, you know?

Most of them just drive on by

without a care in the world.

- Well, I'd like to think someone else

would do the same for us.

- What I really need is a ride,

and just to the nearest town, you know?

I don't want to inconvenience you,

but we are in the middle of nowhere.

- Ben?

- That's a good looking girl.

You're a lucky guy.

- Honey, we're on a

tight schedule, remember?

Maybe we should just call for some help.

We're on our honeymoon, so

I'm sure you understand.

- You'd be really helping me out, brother.

- Yeah, of course.

- Great.

I'm going to grab my bag.

- Absolutely not!

- What do you want me to

do, just leave him out here?

- Yes.

- Come on.

It's at least a 30-mile walk.

- I don't care.

Let him walk.

I don't want him in here.

- Hey, thanks again, folks.

You're a lifesaver.

- I don't think I caught your name.

- Oh, it's Shaun.

- Well, Shaun, I'm Ben.

- Ben?

- This is Sarah.

- Sarah.

Hey, relax sweetheart.

I don't bite.

- Here.

Let me take that for you.

So, you live locally around here, Shaun?

- I'm just passing through.

I try to come up here a few times a year

just to get away from it all,

but it's one of the few

pleasures I have in life.

- Yeah.

Can't argue with that.

It's a beautiful country.

- You have no idea.

- Did you come up here to hunt?

- Why do you say that, sweetheart?

- Just curious.

- No, I'm mostly here for the scenery.

- Got somewhere to be?

Keep checking your watch.

- You don't like me very much, do you?

I don't blame you.

There's a lot of bad people

around here, you know?

You don't know who you can trust.

- What is it?

What's that noise?

- I don't know.

- What did you do?

- I didn't do anything.

- It looks like I have the

pleasure of your company

for a little while longer.

- Lucky me.

- God damn it!

We're in trouble, aren't we?

- To be honest, Ben, you

know, I'm no mechanic,

but it doesn't look good.

- How far do you think the

nearest town is from here?

- I couldn't tell you.

I've never been this far back before.

I don't know, a figure

20 miles, maybe more.

- Okay.

I'll keep trying to find a signal.

Or maybe we get lucky

and someone drives by.

- Any luck?

- If he knew anything about

engines wouldn't be with us,

would he?

- I meant the phone.

- Oh.

- We can't trust that guy.

- What are you talking about?

- Are you folks okay back there?

- Just a minute.

- I don't know how, but I

think he planned all of this.

- You think he somehow made

our van break down on purpose?

- I know how it sounds.

- Why would he do that?

Or more to the point,

how could he do that?

He hasn't left our sight

since we picked him up?

- I don't know, okay?

Just something doesn't feel right.

- Hey, I found the problem.

- Let's just concentrate

on getting out of here.

Okay?

- Wife giving you a headache?

- She's just concerned

we're gonna be stuck

out here all night.

Find anything?

- Bad news is the gearbox

is completely shot.

Without a mechanic,

this hunk of junk's not

gonna go anywhere soon.

- sh*t!

And the good news?

- Good news is I got a signal.

- Thank God.

- Tow truck's on its way.

We just gotta sit back

and wait till the rescue party shows up.

- You hear that, honey?

Shaun managed to get a tow truck.

It's on its way.

- Oh yeah?

They say how long?

- Hour maybe.

They couldn't say for sure.

- You're a lifesaver, Shaun.

- We just got lucky, that's all.

- At least it's not all bad.

We got plenty of food and

drink to keep us going.

May as well make the

best of it while we wait.

Right?

You should really try and eat something.

- It's been over three hours.

What's taking them so long?

- Why don't you come over?

He's actually kinda funny

when you get to know him.

You planning on just

sitting out here alone

until the tow truck arrives?

- I don't trust that man.

- Just come over and

eat something, will you?

I got your favourite.

Burnt cheeseburgers and stale coffee.

- Okay.

- Hey.

At least pretend to be nice.

- Hope you don't mind,

Ben, but I took the liberty

of taking over on the cooking front.

- That bad, huh?

- Don't worry, honey.

I still like your cooking.

- Meat should always be cooked rare.

The bloodier the better, I say.

- Shaun was telling me

he's out here hunting.

- Yeah?

Hunting for what?

- The usual.

Mostly big game, if I'm gonna be honest.

I'm very particular about what I k*ll.

- d*ck.

Excuse me.

- How come he gets reception?

- Hey, pumpkin.

Hey, pumpkin.

How you doing,

babe, how's school?

No, you didn't.

Shame on you.

No, baby, listen, I'm real busy right now,

and I'll call you back when

I'm done, I promise you.

I'll call you back when I'm done.

All right.

Daddy loves you.

This is Lisa.

She's my baby girl.

Lisa has been sick so we've

been home schooling her,

and today she had the tutor looking

all over the house for her lost hamster.

She doesn't have a hamster.

She doesn't even have

a hamster.

Little rascal, huh?

- She's so cute.

- Yeah, she must take after her mom.

- So, you come up here a lot?

- Yeah, I try to get up here

three or four times a year.

I'm ashamed to say it,

but I think I'm addicted

to this place, you know?

But don't tell anybody I said that.

- You know, I don't think I've ever hunted

or k*lled anything in my entire life.

Maybe I'm missing out.

What do you think?

- I think it's best to just

keep it that way, honey.

You're not the type.

Besides, hunting poor,

defenceless animals isn't

exactly a sport, is it?

- You know, Ben, I got

something I want to show you,

and I think you're gonna love it.

- You're sh1tting me, right?

That's what you used to hunt out here?

- It's beautiful, isn't it?

- Can I hold it?

- Yeah, sure, why not.

You like it?

- Heavy.

Babe, you gotta check this out.

- I-

- Come on, Sarah.

Check it out.

Don't be shy.

What do you think?

- Just a knife.

- Oh, Sarah.

It's more than just a knife.

It's got power.

Power of life and death.

Hey, don't you feel safer just holding it?

Don't you feel more secure?

Now imagine that in the right hands.

The damage and the pain it can inflict.

Now that's power.

- If you say so.

- You like this knife, don't you, Ben?

- Yeah, I guess so.

- Oh, you're gonna love this.

Whoo!

That's gotta hurt, huh, baby?

Quit your whining, you little b*tch!

It's just a flesh wound.

I want you alive to

see this, m*therf*cker.

- Get away from her!

Stand up.

Stand up.

Calm down.

Calm down.

Take a breath.

Calm down.

Calm down.

Take a breath.

Take a breath.

Take a breath.

You knew something wasn't

quite right, didn't you?

Huh?

For a minute there,

thought you recognised me.

- Leave her alone.

Please leave her alone.

- Don't look at him!

Do not look at him!

He's not gonna save you, baby.

Not now.

I'm your man now.

- What do you want from us?

- Reach into my pocket.

Reach into my pocket

or I'll k*ll your f*cking husband

right in front of you, right now.

Reach into my pocket.

I'll rip his f*cking throat out.

- Leave her alone, you m*therf*cker!

- Good girl, you can do it.

You can do it.

That's my girl.

Now hand it to me.

Hand it to me.

Give it to me now.

Give it to me.

Good girl.

I need you to turn around

and sit down for me now.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go, baby.

- Please.

Please don't do it.

- This is my favourite part.

I haven't quite perfected this part yet.

- Stop.

Stop.

No.

No.

No!

Sarah!

Leave her alone, please.

- Don't worry.

She won't bleed out for another

45 minutes, if I'm lucky.

You know, I'm kicking myself

for making you so

f*cking stupid this time.

You kind of ruining my whole

experience, m*therf*cker.

- What are you going to do to her?

- I don't know.

Maybe I'll just f*cking r*pe her, huh?

Maybe have some fun with her.

I don't know.

Maybe gouge her f*cking eyes out.

What do you feel about that, huh?

f*ck you, huh? You want a part of this?

You want to be a piece?

Get up here.

Get up here.

I want you to look at your wife.

Look at your wife. Look

what you've done for her.

You're real protective, huh?

You're real protective!

Look over.

Look at her.

You feeling left out, huh?

Don't worry.

Once I get done with her,

I got something real imaginative

planned for you, baby.

Something different.

Something that you could love.

Well, I'm going to love.

Let's get naked, baby.

You have my permission to scream.

Calm down.

Calm down, Sarah.

There you go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Easy.

Easy.

Calm down.

Calm down, Sarah.

Let's get some holiday photos here.

Come on.

Let's get some memories.

Yeah, there you go.

Smile.

Smile, baby.

Smile.

- We have to get out of here.

- Hey.

Get the g*n.

- We gotta go.

- I'm going to get you,

you son of a b*tch!

I'm gonna get you.

- I need to stop.

- I know it hurts, but

we have to keep going.

- Ben, wait.

I can't breathe.

- You can't run forever, Ben.

I know every inch of this place.

You hear me?

- We need to find some help.

- I'm coming after you, m*therf*cker.

- You think you can make

it back to the road?

Hey.

- I'm dying.

- No.

No, don't talk about dying.

We're gonna find help.

Come on.

Come on.

Did you hear that?

Someone else is out here.

I got you.

You're okay.

Here.

Call the cops.

- Come on.

- Sarah, did you see that?

Tell me you saw that, Sarah.

Sarah?

- Next time, sweetheart,

I'll make sure we have

a little more us time.

I'm very particular about what I k*ll.

I know what this looks like,

but it's not what you

think, I can explain.

I'm gonna find you, you soulless b*stard.

Where you going, Ben?

I just want to talk.

Maybe we could clear up this

little misunderstanding.

I promise I won't hurt you, Ben.

Just want my phone back.

Maybe we could come to some kind of deal.

One that benefits us both.

Have it your way, Ben!

But you just remember.

I know you better than you

know yourself, you little f*ck.

I will find you.

I always do.

It's just a matter of time.

Where are you, you little sh*t?

- Your exit checkpoint

will be available in exactly six hours.

Please enjoy the remainder of your stay.

- Come on, Ben, you

little b*tch.

Get the f*ck up here, boy.

Come on, Ben.

We're gonna have some fun with you.

Get off me, you piece of sh*t.

Ready, Clarence, ready, Clarence?

Let's go.

Good try.

Look at that, Clarence.

Goodbye, Ben.

Oh.

- My God, look at that hole.

You can see right through him!

- Holy sh*t.

He's still alive.

- Watch this.

- That was a good one.

- Whoo!

Holy sh*t, man.

- Welcome back Shaun Matheson

and thank you once again

for choosing the Ben and Sarah Experience.

Please take some time to

customise your options.

Thank you for choosing King Entertainment.

You have selected Ben.

Status report.

Current performance at 72%.

Blood loss and trauma detected.

You have selected intelligence.

Please customise.

Upgrade commencing.

Intelligence upgrade complete.

Warning.

Please enable product

safety options for a safe

and enjoyable stay.

- Hey, hey, you know,

I heard you can actually

f*ck these things.

It's supposed to be just

like the real thing.

- You know what?

You're one sick son of a b*tch, Travis.

- What?

You saying you ain't

never thought about it?

- f*ck no!

- Somebody give me a

hand with the other one.

- What's the point?

We already k*lled him.

- You said you could eat him, right?

- You want to barbecue him?

- Just get my money's worth.

- Now look, f*cking them,

I can get on board with that,

but eating them? You're on your

own you sick son of a b*tch.

- I'm with B-B-B-B-B-Bobby on this one.

I ain't eating no f*cking clone.

- Well, f*ck y'all.

I'll do it myself.

sh*t.

I don't got me no barbecue sauce.

f*ck.

- I told you he one sick son of a b*tch.

- Shut up, Travis.

- You

have selected ability.

Upgrade commencing.

Ability upgrade complete.

Warning.

Ability set at dangerous level.

Please activate safety protocols.

- Why the f*ck are you so

g*dd*mn heavy.

g*dd*mn it.

- Need some help?

- The f*ck are you doing here?

You understand me, boy?

Or are you stuck on a stupid setting?

I got myself

two for one.

Wow!

You really are f*cked up!

You son of a b*tch!

This ain't supposed to happen.

Please.

It's just a game.

- I'm starting to understand

why you like this so much.

- You get that down you,

that's the good stuff.

My mommy made that.

What the hell, Travis?

- Oh.

- Got it all over me, man.

- Shh.

Was that, was that g*nshots?

- Hey, Clarence, what you doing out there,

you pervy b*stard?

- oh.

Didn't I done told you I bet

he is f*cking that thing.

- You did say he was a

crazy b*stard.

What the hell?

Clarence?

- Talk.

- I don't understand.

- What is this place?

- It's a vacation zone.

We're on vacation for Christ's sakes.

- Who am I?

- What?

- You heard me.

- You're a nobody.

You're just a clone.

Please, I just want to go home.

I, I have a family.

- You came here just to m*rder us for fun?

- It's a place where you

can do whatever you want.

Not everybody plays it like this.

- But if I pull this

trigger, you'll die, right?

- Yeah, it's what we signed up for.

It's an extreme experience.

We can control the threat

level, but yes, we can also die.

- How do I get out of here?

- You can't.

Not without an ID card.

- Then give it to me.

- You broke my f*cking nose.

- I won't ask again.

- It's useless.

It won't help you get out of here.

- And why is that?

- The exit points all use...

- Fingerprint technology?

Left or right?

- What?

- Which one?

Which finger?

- f*ck you.

f*ck you.

f*ck you.

- Let's try that again.

- Index!

Index!

Index!

Index!

Index!

Index!

- You don't mind if I take this, do you?

- What the hell is this guy playing at?

- Hey, you don't belong here.

This is our zone.

- Hey, as*h*le.

Are you deaf?

- Hey, wait.

- f*cking clones.

- Oh, hard luck, sweet pea.

Let's try again, shall we?

Just take it easy.

- Okay.

- We've got all the time in the world.

Not bad.

Just a little more to the left this time.

For the love of God,

will you please shut the f*ck up already?

I swear,

I'll put a hole in you right

now if you don't stop crying.

We're tougher than she is, aren't we?

Okay.

Let's wrap this one up.

Good.

A bit more to the right.

No, no, no, not too much.

Breathe and squeeze.

Direct hit.

- Yeah.

- Well done, Reggie.

Oh, your mother's going to be so proud.

Didn't I say it would be fun?

Now, time for crybaby.

I've got a new toy that I want to try out.

Hopefully, this will cheer her up.

She should be blown away.

- Now, hold tight.

Off you go.

You're okay?

It's okay.

- I don't understand.

Ben?

Ben?

Ben?

I'm not dreaming this, am I?

- Everything's going to be okay.

I'm here.

- Who are you?

- If we don't keep moving,

we both end up like that.

You have to trust me.

- That's ridiculous.

This is crazy.

What the f*ck is going on?

- Me, you, this entire f*cking

place is one giant game.

And we're the stars of the show.

- It was supposed to be our honeymoon.

- You don't got it, do you?

This should clear things up.

- You

have selected intelligence.

- Looks like they really

made it easy on themselves.

Intelligence upgrade complete.

- Everything you need to

know is on that device.

- Product

software updates detected.

Proceed with caution.

- So my whole life is a lie.

I'm not even real.

- What do you actually

remember about getting here?

- It's our honeymoon,

our dream vacation.

- Yeah, but how do we get here?

When do we hire the RV?

Because I can't remember any of that.

It's more like a hazy dream.

- So you're saying they just

planted all this in our heads?

- Look, I don't have all the answers.

- Where's your wife?

- She's dead.

She was m*rder*d.

Listen to me.

We stick together and we might make it

out of this place alive.

I think I know a way out.

- All remaining players,

please proceed to your exit points.

- They're coming for us.

- Let's find out how

dangerous we really can be.

- Team 7 in position.

- You

have selected aggression.

Update commencing.

Aggression update complete.

- Time to go.

- Secure the game zone.

- Product's abilities

have been compromised,

deadly force authorised.

- Copy that.

Retrieval underway.

- Who are they?

- Pest control.

I'm guessing they're here

to clean up this mess.

We don't stop.

You understand me?

We keep moving forward.

- You got a plan?

- Just follow my lead.

- Ben, wait!

- You

have selected aggression.

Update commencing.

Aggression update complete.

- No sign of products.

Wait.

- Movement detected in zone 16.

- Armed

response unit to zone 16.

Lockdown initiated.

- Drop your weapon!

- Freeze!

- Lower your weapon!

- Product is heavily armed.

Air support requested.

- Air support

inbound to your location.

- All

remaining assets to zone 16,

proceed with caution.

- I have the

girl, assistance requested.

Assistance unavailable.

- Repeat, I have the girl.

Proceed with termination.

Air support in T-10 seconds.

- We might have a problem.

- Please

confirm product termination.

- You okay?

- What just happened?

- Guessing they didn't want us to leave.

- You said you knew a way out?

- Yeah.

There's a door.

- What do you mean a door?

- We're getting out of this place.

- Please

follow emergency protocol.

Your exit point has been activated.

- We're close.

- Ben!

- What's wrong?

- The vacation of a lifetime.

- What kind of sick world is this?

Forest scan commencing.

- Not exactly the honeymoon I had in mind.

- How about we go ask for a refund?

- Is that it?

- Time to see what's behind the curtain.

- We

hope you enjoyed your stay,

Bruce Lomax.

Please present index finger for exit scan.

- Is that what I think it is?

- Trust me, the owner wont miss it.

- Ah ah ah.

I wouldn't do that if I was you, Ben.

Come here, sweetheart.

I'm an old friend.

I'm here to help you, baby.

Don't be afraid of this old thing.

Person can't be too careful around here.

A lot of bad people around here.

Isn't that right?

Do not do anything you're

gonna regret there, Ben.

Come on, sweetheart.

- I know you.

- Yeah, you do.

Come here.

- I know you.

- You see, me and your husband

have some unfinished business.

He did something real silly,

and now we gotta right that wrong.

Tell her, Ben.

Tell her what I do here.

Tell her what I do to her

over and over again, huh?

Tell her how she likes it.

I said tell her how she likes it.

What, you think you two are real?

You think if you walk through

that door you'll be safe?

You just cattle to people like me.

A f*cking holiday, a pass

to do whatever I want.

I decide who lives and who dies.

I'm God here.

I'm a legend.

It's all in your company

brochure there, Ben.

You know, I paid a lotof money to be here.

To do the things I get to do.

And soon you're both gonna be dead.

There's something I want you to know, Ben.

After I get done gutting

your wife and cutting her

pretty little face off,

I'm gonna walk through

those doors and I'm

gonna book a return trip.

I mean, this has been a five-star review

for sure.

Thank you.

And thank you.

What, you got nothing to say?

Well then let's just cut

to the good part then, huh?

Now hold still.

I haven't quite perfected this part yet.

- You forgot about one thing.

- What's that, Ben?

I made some changes of my own.

Shaun, I think you're

gonna like my new wife.

- How's this for a five-star review?

- Now hold still, I haven't

quite perfected this part yet.

No, don't worry.

You won't bleed out

for another 45 minutes,

if you're lucky.

- Now that's power.

What a d*ck!

- Time to go.

Ready?

- Identity confirmed.

- We want the little people

to get in on the action too.

We now offer econo-getaways,

bachelor and bachelorette party packages,

family funster fantasies, and teachers,

don't forget our special school discount

when you book an adventure

for your classroom.

So come and enjoy the splendours of nature

and make memories that

will last a lifetime.

And remember, nothing goes to waste.

Book your Ben and Sarah

Experience vacation now

and gain free access

to our organ transplant replacement list.

- I need a

customer check on level two.

Movement detected.

- Get the g*n.

- Warning,

security breach on level two.

- Stand down, clone scum.

- We have a security breach on-

- sh*t, these clones are armed.

- When the bombs fell, the

world was changed forever.

But thanks to King Entertainment,

the future looks bright.

Book your Ben and Sarah Experience now

for the vacation of a lifetime.

- Team 16 moving

in on target, standby.

- This

is a security announcement.

Will all customers please

proceed to the holding area.

Once again, King's

Entertainment apologises

for this brief inconvenience.

- Intruders found.

- k*ll the f*ck.

- And remember, it's good to be the king.

- Identification error.

Identification error.

- Welcome

to the Players Lounge.

Please sit back and relax

while our small technical

problem is resolved.

- Those things will k*ll you.

- Here at King Entertainment,

we don't just tailor exclusive extreme

holiday vacations for the elite.

We want the little people

to get in on the action too.

- Access granted.

- Let's finish this.

- Bravo.

Welcome, Ben and Sarah.

I've been expecting you.

- Lock the door.

- You've really made quite

an entrance, haven't you?

It's going to take me days

to clean up the mess you two have made.

- You must be the king.

- A coincidental surname,

but rather fitting

under the circumstances.

Great for marketing.

- What is this place?

- Why, Sarah, this is your home.

And like the thousands before you,

this is where you were created,

where you were born.

I guess you could say, I m your father.

- Yeah?

I'd hate to see how you treat

the rest of your family.

- Oh!

Well, you're really going to hate my wife.

- Well, just hold on.

We can talk about this.

- What a b*tch!

- Listen to me.

This isn't personal, okay?

It's just a good business.

For 20 years I've been doing this.

We provide entertainment

and we save lives.

I'm a g*dd*mn humanitarian.

- You mean you sell organs

to the highest bidder?

- Well, anything worth having has a price.

It was Sarah's stroke of genius

to make a business out

of recycled byproducts.

It's a f*cking gold mine.

And you can own part of the business.

Would you like that?

You can't k*ll me.

I'm Ben f*cking King.

I'm a national hero for Christ's sakes.

You hear that?

In about three minutes

the door's going to open

and all hell is going to break loose.

It's over.

But you don't need to die.

I can help you.

You need me.

You aren't getting out of this

place alive without me, Ben.

- I'll take my chances.

- Oh.

This just isn't your day, is it?

- I talk too much.

- Open fire!

- Next time we go on our honeymoon,

let's check the reviews first.

- We don't want to disappoint them.

Let's end this with a bang.

- Ben, I have an idea.

- Access granted.

- Room scan complete, sir.

- Well, what are you waiting for?

Clean up this f*cking mess.

I've got a business to run.

- My apologies, Mr. King.

The complex has been secured.

Wait.

The male product is still alive.

Standing by for instructions.

- Harvest the women.

You know what to do with the other one.

- Welcome back

to the Ben and Sarah Experience.

All of us at King Entertainment

have a fantastic stay.

- Aww no, no no, no.

No.

You've made a mistake!

I'm the real Ben King, you f*cking morons!

Nuclear w*r has its perks.

Sign up today and get 15%

off your next Ben and Sarah vacation.

- Some heads will roll for this.

Stop!

It's me, Ben King!

You've got this all wrong.

You have to help me get out of here.

- You know, I heard we can

actually f*ck these things.

- sh*t, baby.

We ain't come here for nothing.

- No, wait, please, please,

you don't understand.

No, listen, just wait.

- Breaking news.

Uncork'd Entertainment

goes into administration.

- Tonight on 3DS,

Redwood m*ssacre 17, Burlap returns again.

- Welcome

back, Mr. and Mrs. King.

Please enjoy your stay.

- It's good to be the Kings.

- From all

of us at King Entertainment,

have a fantastic day.

- I wanna talk to you

about King Entertainment

and the Ben and Sarah Experience.

- Best vacay ever.

- Not only did I have a

holiday of a lifetime,

but now I have new kidneys,

all thanks to Ben and Sarah.

- I had a lot of experiences.

I had one where I married my Sarah.

We had a great wedding,

beautiful reception.

She didn't make it to the honeymoon.

- I scored big at the

Ben and Sarah Experience.

Made two kills.

Maybe next time they can

clone some mice for Bucky.

He hates the white ones.

- Here at the Ben and Sarah Experience,

your safety is guaranteed

by an elite security force

of King Enterprises.

- Junior, supper's ready.

- Mom, I'm doing stuff down here.

- I've always wanted blue eyes,

and now I have Sarah's.

Thanks, King Entertainment.

- So we went to the Ben

and Sarah Experience

and our sex life's never been better.

- If it's with the clone,

it's not cheating, is it?

- Not cheating, my a*s.

- I asked King Entertainment

if you guys could make

me a big Sarah, bigger,

something with junk in their trunk.

They did.

She had the same beautiful

eyes, mouth, and skin,

she smelled the same,

but she couldn't run very well,

and she was an easy target.

- Wait.

Can you get pregnant by a clone?

- What I'm saying is you can build

your own experience, so

take your time with it,

enjoy yourself, make your

own fantasy worth it.

Enjoy, people.

- Ben and I were talking.

Found out he was a golfer.

He probably shouldn't have

played me for a night with Sarah.

Is my family going to see this?

- That stupid Ben clone

thought he blew me up,

but he didn't.

Ha ha!

- I have hunted many

things in my lifetime.

I have hunted lions

before they were extinct.

- They say what they do there is science,

but it is the work of the devil.

- And I have hunted elephants

before they were extinct, too.

- They made the clones in their own image.

Now, do you think the one above,

if he wanted us to have clones,

he'd have made them in his image.

- But I've never hunted man.

But now I have the opportunity to do so,

and I can do it in the safety

of a playground where

nobody's going to get hurt.

- Do not go to the Ben and

Sarah Experience Experience

if you care about your soul.

- So, I would like to thank

the Ben and Sarah experience

for allowing me to do

that in a safe place.