03x05 - Hey, Hate to Burst Your Bubble, But..

[bunniefuu]

[classical music playing]

[camera shutter clicking]

[Santi] Well, if you put
about 50,000 euros into it,

the value will increase by about 30%.

-He's ripping you off, dude.
-I mean, if you're selling it.

Oh, no, no, no.

I wanted to see how much it might go for,
and Esther won't shut up about it.

My parents are getting back together.

But then you won't be able to renovate.

And why would
I wanna renovate my childhood home?

It'd be like prostituting my memories.

-Luis, time changes everything, eh?
-Huh?

Look in the mirror.

Hmm? I still see the young man I was.

Hmm. You sure?

[Pedro] He just wants to bring you
as a client for his new job.

[Santi] Well, I guess it would be good
for me. What are friends for?

Any plans this weekend?

Well, I'm going to a countryside hotel.
I planned a romantic getaway with Esther.

You realize you have to take care
of your significant other.

I'm coming.

-What?
-[Raúl] It's a couple's trip.

'Cause Marimar says we can't go alone.
Too much temptation.

What mental illness makes you think
that way when you're a 40-year-old woman?

I don't know. She was a sl*t at 15.

Don't say that about Marimar, dude.

In a countryside hotel,
I think we might f*ck.

Yeah, women that act
like saints are usually wh*res.

Well, say something, will you?

All right, I'll come with Irene,
and we can work on our intimacy.

Just us would be weird, but as a group…

Well, I'll come with Daniela. She's been
happy lately. We don't argue anymore.

[Santi] Which hotel? Is it expensive?

You can't. It's full.
It was a special offer that ended.

[Raúl] Don't be so damn cheap.

We can all share.
Let's get a country house.

You sure you want a repeat of Ibiza?

It'll erase bad memories.

-Yeah, that's true.
-Oh, look. A fireplace.

-Romantic.
-Ooh, that's nice. How much?

You guys are ruining my plan.
We wanted to go alone.

Pedro wants to win back Daniela.

Santi wants to get intimate with Irene,
and I wanna f*ck Marimar.

-Are you our friend, or are you not?
-[Pedro] Hmm?

I'll check on it with Esther,
but I'm not promising anything.

She is super excited
about our romantic getaway.

What am I going to do
for four days stuck in a hotel with Luis?

-I don't wanna go.
-Then don't go.

[sighs] I can't complain
that he doesn't take the initiative.

-And then when he does, mess up his plans.
-Ooh, I don't get monogamy.

I don't need more adventures
in my marriage. That's why I'm acting.

Oh, that's right.
How did it go with Alpha Males?

Great! They loved
how I acted kind of drunk.

Really?

Pedro says I have potential.

Okay, why not make it
an acting challenge for you?

You're now playing a happily married wife.

[scoffs] And what are we gonna talk about?

You'll also be having sex.

Not for very long.

Right. Another advantage of dating women.

We go at it for three hours.

That's an advantage?

[laughs] Yeah.

And how are things with Paz?
Has she called you?

-No. Maybe she's waiting.
-Then you do it.

No way. No.

Right, with girls,
who calls first in these cases?

-Hmm?
-She can do whatever.

The good thing about being a romantic
anarchist is you spread love around.

[cell phone chimes]

[gasps] Paz!

-She's calling me.
-Ah.

-Well then, your afternoon is looking up.
-Yeah. [gasps]

What should I do?

ALPHA MALES

[laughs] I don't know.

-The two of us alone, isn't that weird?
-[Pedro] No, no, no, no.

With our friends, as a group.
We got a country house.

And how many clothes did you buy today?

You know that babies grow every month?

You guys really wanna repeat
what happened in Ibiza?

We'll replace all of our bad memories,
and it's a bit of fresh air for Viviana.

-Anaïs.
-Right, like the cologne. [clears throat]

[clicks tongue] Well, let's go, then.

But Patricia isn't coming.
I can't have her near a cliff right now.

She seems nice
and comfortable here with her family.

[woman] Move, move your legs.
Don't let your body sink.

[Irene] Santi, I have to finish
this f*cking book.

Aren't you done doing rewrites?

I don't know. I think it's polarizing,
too theoretical, and boring.

[sighs] There's something off.

[Santi] Just put it aside for now,
and revisit it later, all right?

And if you come on this trip,
we'll laugh together.

Also, lots of good sex.

Just as friends, of course. Hmm?

All right, maybe disconnecting
will be good.

Awesome! Then you can see things
with a new perspective. Yeah?

-Okay, kisses.
-Can't wait to see you. Bye.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! [scatting]

[gasps]

[exhales] Hmm.

[Marimar] Well, I like the idea
of a trip together while we're dating

so we can get to know each other better.

But I'm worried that we'll lose control
and do things that we'll regret later.

Don't worry.
My friends are all Christians. Hmm.

I mean, one's married with two kids.

Another couple is expecting.

Santi and Irene just started dating.

But they all go
to church every Sunday, you know.

But our bedrooms will be separate.

Oh, of course. Pedro and Daniela
are gonna sleep in separate bedrooms.

-Are they new to dating?
-They're the ones who are expecting.

Oh, really?

Yeah, mm… They're traditional,

and, you know,
they made a hole in the sheet to do it.

Seriously? So depressing.

Yeah.

Well, all right,
if they understand our relationship

is a Catholic one
and that we're waiting, then fine.

I don't wanna feel awkward.

Be yourself, and you'll fit in, Marimar.

Oh, yeah, all of us together. That's good.

That's a great idea. Hmm.

Oh, I told them we might wanna go alone
since it was supposed to be romantic.

It'll still be romantic, honey.

But this way,
we might even have some fun as well.

Okay. So no hotel?

Yeah, just cancel it.
Here, finish this. I have to go shopping.

Right now? For what?

I wanna look hot. Those b*tches
are not gonna show me up again.

Hmm.

Are you sure
she's ready to meet your friends?

Álex, I need to sort my feelings.

We watched Bridges of Madison County,
and she didn't cry.

What girl doesn't tear up watching that?

You know, a better cry
is Toy Story 3. [chuckles]

Aww, when the kid gives Woody
and Buzz Lightyear to the little girl

because he's grown up
and before he leaves,

he thanks all his toys. [sobs]

Oh, well, that just
makes me feel old. See you.

-[horn honks]
-[Álex] Oh! Mm.

Right.

-Where are you going?
-Uh, a weekend trip.

I don't feel safe
under the same roof as a sex offender.

-[horn honks]
-[Luis] Santiago!

-You're going away with our friends?
-Those friends aren't yours.

-They never were and never will be.
-[Blanca] Wait.

-I need money for another lawyer.
-Another lawyer? Why?

Well, my lawyer wants me
to plead guilty to reduce my sentence.

Blanca, you grabbed a guy's a*s, twice.

-It's his word against mine.
-They got you on camera.

-I think my drink was spiked.
-[groans]

Let's go, my God.

Luis, Esther,
would you say I'm your friend?

-Huh? Uh, yeah, sure.
-Yeah, why? You wanna come with us?

No, no, no, not possible. She can't go.
She has to work on her jewelry.

No, I'm a masseuse now.
I do shiatsu and Reiki.

-Shiatsu. Oh, well, that's great.
-Yeah.

Yeah, she practices
at night with strangers.

In Reiki, you don't touch anyone.

Hey, Dad, here! Play this with Irene.

"Connect"? What's this?

A game for building deeper relationships
with "friends." Know what I mean?

Yeah, it's for those who are unemotional.

-[Álex] If this doesn't help you two…
-No, I don't want this pressure.

We going, or what?
We still have to go pick up the feminist.

-Irene. Yeah, thanks.
-[Luis laughs]

Off to the countryside
with Irene, eh? You dog.

Do you have any friends
you can introduce me to?

Roof down?

[exhales] No, there's too many mosquitoes.

-All right.
-[engine revving]

[clicks tongue]

-[revving]
-Hey, we're not going to do that!

[exhales] Uh, no, no. Yeah, sorry.

-[crowd chattering]
-[jazz music playing]

Sorry, love.

-[both] Mm!
-My day was so shitty.

With all the meetings and phone calls.

And plus, the hour and a half I spent

in the jewelry store. [inhales sharply]

-Mm.
-What is this?

Well, I thought about it,
and I want you all to myself.

I'm old-fashioned.

[chuckles]

So, let's get married.

And here we go again with the rings.

[sighs]

[Rita barking]

Hey, what's up, loser?
You scared of sharp turns, or what?

-Grow up, Raúl.
-[Daniela sighs]

How pretty. It's huge.
Glad we don't have to clean up.

-[Esther] Didn't you bring Patricia?
-She's off today.

f*cking Stefan.

It's a good thing you're deconstructed.

-You can cook us dinner.
-[chuckles]

Marimar, how was the drive in?

It was great.

Hey, this is Esther, my…

[exhales] …wife.

-Hi there.
-[Esther] Nice to meet you.

Take in that great view.

To think some don't accept
there's a God. [exhales]

Yeah, it's, um, incredible.

Hmm. Shall we pick our rooms?
One, two, three, go!

-Hey. Luis. Run, Luis! Run!
-I… [sighs]

-[Daniela laughs]
-They're all the same, right?

[Esther] Bullshit!

So, okay, Irene, this is Raúl.

-[Irene] Hey.
-"Iren-is" got a p*nis. [laughing]

-Have you ever heard of that one?
-[Irene] Never.

You are the first one.

-Dude, come on.
-She took that well.

You know we're not really close friends.

Oh, like Pedro?

Yeah, I'm really only close with Luis.

-Hmm.
-If I'm honest. Yeah. [exhales]

-You see that?
-[Pedro] h*-h*-h*!

[Santi] Are you an idiot?

What's the problem?
That joke was a classic.

"Iren-is" got a p*nis.
Alberto the "pervert-o."

-Montoya's got a--
-[Santi] Raúl, be an adult, damn it.

Why do I gotta be the adult?

Hey, why are you wearing a cross?

[chuckles] It's from my First Communion.
My mom had it.

[chuckles] Who'd have thought that
you'd use it to get some p*ssy, huh?

-[laughing]
-Shh! Don't ruin my story.

I told her all of us are religious.

-Oh.
-Wow.

Hey, this is so nice.

Well, we like to live a little.

Yeah, we're all about
having a good time. Hmm.

Luis, can you come here a moment?

The best room went to the Catholic woman
who's sleeping alone. That little b*tch.

-Don't start criticizing everyone, okay?
-We haven't discussed it yet.

But I think it's kind of wrong
for Raúl to bring someone else.

Tell that to Luz.
She wanted this romantic anarchy.

Marimar's a victim.

Okay, so we get settled in,
and what's our plan?

We could go hiking.
I downloaded trail maps.

Hiking? No, we're doing something else.

You can do lots of things here.

Horse riding, quad bikes,
even zip lines. Hmm.

[thunder crashing]

It's raining.

[Daniela] Didn't anybody think
to check the weather?

[Raúl] It'll pass soon.

I'll light the fireplace.

[Pedro] Come on. The heater's already on.

Come on, bro. It's very romantic.

-I'm ready!
-[Daniela] Ooh!

[laughs]

Where are you going?

What? We're not going out?

[Pedro chuckles] Where to?
The village pub?

You look beautiful, honey.

Well, take a photo of me
in front of the window, at least.

You do that. I said I would make
some dinner for all of us.

You set the table.

-Me?
-Yep.

-Can I help you?
-Okay!

Uh, oh, sure, but you don't have to.

But, okay, if you want to.

Um, whatever you want, Marimar.

Uh, you could smile as if you were happy.

-[camera clicks]
-[Irene] Play a game, hmm?

Parcheesi? Strip poker?

[Daniela] Let's snoop in the drawers
and see if we find something weird.

[Irene] Mm!

-And lift.
-[both laugh]

[inhales] Hey, Pedro.
I haven't said anything,

but thank you so much for the opportunity.

-[chuckles]
-Uh, yeah.

It was only three lines. It's no big deal.

-And you really think I have potential?
-Huh?

'Cause a little birdie told me that
you loved my kind of drunk performance.

Uh, yeah. You have potential, yeah.

Yeah? Because I actually have
some ideas for season two.

I'll share them.

-[cell phone rings]
-Just a second. Sorry.

Aren't you supposed to be f*cking now?

[Luz] I split up with Paz.
Wanna get a drink?

No, I can't. I'm on that trip.

Ah, that's right, your romantic getaway.

No, all the guys came in the end.
Thank God.

All the guys?
Raúl too? He didn't say anything.

Oh, no?

That's weird.

And we had plans
for a trip in the countryside.

So, why don't you come over here
and surprise him?

You sure?

Yeah, he'd love to see you.

Why did you tell Esther
she was great when we cut her scene?

The joy on my wife's face is priceless.

And when it comes out?

"How will you live, Rambo?" "Day by day."

[sighs]

Hey, I brought
this fun game called "Connect."

Oh! What's that?

[shouts] Santi found
a game called "Connect."

"A game of questions and answers
to have fun with your friends

and make connections that are genuine."

-[Santi] It's a two-player game.
-You can play as a group.

-Uh, oh, yeah.
-[Daniela] Mm-hmm.

-I think we should let her go.
-[Santi] It's Irene's turn.

Please. Hey, shh! Concentrate, come on.

-Pedro.
-Pedro.

"If you could send one message
to everyone on WhatsApp,

what would you send?"

[exhales] Um… Oh, uh…
I would send a d*ck pic.

-[all laughing]
-[Luis] All right, yeah.

Let's take it seriously.
Pedro, no, you're eliminated. You're out.

-Okay.
-[Raúl] But who wins?

Well, I think it's whoever opens up, yeah?

What if we played some Parcheesi?

-Yeah, no.
-[Daniela] Luis.

Yeah.

"If you could go back
to when you were 20 years old,

what would you say to yourself?"

-Uh… uh, sex is not a big deal.
-[Santi] You're eliminated too.

-I mean, honestly.
-I mean, that was honest.

Oh, all right, all right.

-Marimar.
-[Esther] Hmm.

[Luis] "What are you most
excited about in your life right now?"

Raúl.

-Ah!
-[all] Aww!

-Aww.
-[Marimar] My turn.

[hums]

Esther, choose one.

"A perfect body
or amazing emotional intelligence?"

-A perfect body.
-[Luis] What are you saying, honey?

No way.

Oh! Raúl.

-Hmm.
-"What do you think about lying?"

"Are there any situations
where you think it's justified?"

No, no, no. It's always bad.

[all laugh]

[Raúl] All right, Daniela.

"What is your biggest disappointment?"

Um, that I wasn't given the award
for Influencer of the Year.

-Eliminated for lying!
-Come on! [laughs]

-And it's okay for him?
-[Santi] Okay, it's my turn.

And this one is for Irene.

[chuckles] Oh, it's a good one. Hmm.

"What are you most afraid of?"

Uh, that the patriarchy keeps mutating
in order to perpetuate silently.

And that word comes up again.

What do you mean, it's mutating?

Well, new masculinity, for example.
What the hell is that?

Careful, all of us have a diploma, right?

Well, I'm more concerned
about this new feminism.

Thanks to all this progressiveness,
my daughter is now confused.

-He knows who he is. He's Jacob.
-[laughing]

Have you asked her why?
Why she wants to be a boy?

It's most likely dysphoria.

-Huh?
-She says it's cooler now.

See? We're told things are
for boys or girls,

and that boy things are cooler.

Then it's normal she'd wanna be a guy.

It's the fault
of stereotypes in our society.

[Esther] Well, I disagree.

-[Irene] With what?
-All of it.

Everyone treats us like we're delicate,
disabled, or victims. It's so annoying.

But what does that have to do with--

Excuse her.
She suffers from toxic masculinity.

-Toxic masculinity? It's not a virus.
-Yeah.

-You have toxic masculinity.
-No one's asked me a question.

Listen, I don't feel like a victim,
but it is true.

There is structural sexism in society
that we do need to fight against.

[chuckles] Oh, yeah? And how?
By showing off on Instagram?

Or launching rockets
at your gender reveal party?

At least I don't criticize other women.

[Marimar] The real problem
is that both women and men

have distanced themselves from God.

-Of course, I agree.
-[Irene] It's easier to think like you.

That everything is fine
and that we're all hysterical whiners.

But don't worry.
We're here fighting for you.

-I don't need anyone fighting for me.
-Esther, you're a d*ck defender.

-I'm a what?
-[Pedro] Oh!

-What about we all go to bed?
-Good idea.

-We're all tired from driving.
-Yeah, let's do that.

A man-apologist and a panty-ironer.
You're meant for each other.

Really?

Since you guys are deconstructed,
you can handle cleaning this, yeah?

Don't worry about it.

-[Marimar] Good night.
-I hope you sleep well, Marimar.

[Raúl] See you tomorrow, dude. Mm.

-There's the hetero pat.
-[Daniela] Huh?

When guys hug,
to avoid any doubts about their sexuality,

they finish off with a macho gesture.

-The hetero pat.
-[Daniela] Oh.

Is that true?
Hey, come here. Gimme a normal hug.

Mm. Mm.

Dude, I can't help it.

It's like a body reflex.

Okay, let's just clean up.

Santi, control your friend.
She's gonna ruin everything.

I don't own her, you know.

-Great idea, bringing that stupid game.
-The game was only for the two of us.

Don't ruin my romantic getaway, please.
I'm asking you, just be normal.

Santi, this is your warning.

Irene is our Yoko Ono.

-What are you saying?
-[Raúl] That's what those girls do.

They infiltrate male friend groups
and destroy them from within.

They're like cancer cells,
designed to exterminate.

Divide and conquer, an age-old idea.

[Luis] We get
that you've fallen for Irene, okay?

She's Patrick with a vag*na.

But she treats us all
like we're a bunch of idiots.

The problem with you guys
is that you're a bunch of old dudes

that can't stand that this woman
is brilliant and also empowered

and that your mediocrity is now exposed.

-That's right. She's not welcome here.
-No, don't worry.

She won't come again.
No, and I won't either.

-Santi, come on. Don't be like that.
-[Luis sighs]

And you two could pretend
a little better around Marimar.

Just be thankful I haven't told her
that all you wanna do is f*ck her.

[Raúl] What do you know?
We're getting to know each other.

Raúl.

You're pissed off
'cause I stole your platonic love.

What do you mean, platonic?

-Nothing happened.
-Yeah, of course.

Because she didn't want to.
That's why it's platonic.

I think you're jealous.

No, I'm not, but now I get why
you're all weird whenever you talk to her.

I don't get all weird.

[mocking] "I hope you sleep well,
Marimar."

See? If we'd come here alone,
we wouldn't be having these problems.

-[cell phone vibrates]
-[Luis exhales]

-It's my dad.
-Damn.

-What's up, Dad?
-Tell your daughter to let me in.

She locked me out
after I took out the trash!

-W-what? Uh, one sec, wait.
-What?

-Call Ulises and tell him to put Jacob on.
-You can't call her Jacob.

-What should I call him? He gets upset.
-Call her "honey" like I do.

Don't you have the authority
to tell her to let me back in?

Oh, not from here, Dad.

You're so whipped!

-[exhales]
-[cell phone chiming]

Ulises, put me on with, uh, your brother.

Grandpa is an old transphobe.

Come on…

Listen to me. We have good news for you.
We understand what's wrong now.

-It's called sexism.
-Mm-hmm.

What's that?

You don't have to be a boy
to do boy stuff.

Like… your mom.

She has lots
of masculine energy as a girl.

What are you saying right now?

-I don't wanna get t*ts.
-Here we go with the t*ts.

Let him in. Come on, son!

[toilet flushes]

[Pedro] The dog's sleeping
on the floor, right?

Poor thing. She hardly moves around.

[huffs] This is strange.

Why? Girls sleep together
all the time, and it's fine.

You are over
your hetero-curious phase, though, right?

I'll be back. Or not.

Where you going with the blanket?

To see if Marimar is feeling cold tonight.

It's only the first night. Come on, man.

She can confess tomorrow at Mass.

[chuckles]

Weren't you going to disconnect? [sighs]

It's your friend's fault.
She gave me a good idea for a chapter.

Who? Esther?

Uh-huh. Every system
of oppression needs accomplices

who are amongst the oppressed.

I wanna add women
who are entranced by patriarchy.

Uh-huh. Yeah, but you could leave it
for tomorrow, right?

Okay, let's pick a card
and see what it says. Oh, this one.

"When was the last time
you cried?" That's a--

No, just open up. Don't worry about it.

-Yeah, one minute.
-Tell me everything.

-Mm.
-Watch out for the card. Tell-- Oh!

-[knock on door]
-[Raúl] Marimar.

Raúl, what are you doing?

You wear glasses?

Yes, it's 'cause I'm a bit short-sighted.

Just a bit? What prescription do you have?

You have to leave, please.
You're not supposed to be here.

I brought you a blanket
in case you were cold. Yeah.

[Marimar chuckles]

Want me to hold you until you fall asleep?

[chuckles] Oh, hey.

I looked up Daniela's Instagram page.

And she claims she's traditional,
but I don't think she is.

All of her pictures are…

She donates almost everything
to charities.

She sacrifices her body to help others
less fortunate, kind of like Jesus.

Really?

Put your glasses on, love.
I promise it's okay.

We're getting to know each other.
That's what the trip's for.

-Yeah, that's true.
-Mm.

[Marimar sighs]

[exhales] You're beautiful.

-[Santi moaning loudly]
-Oh.

-[moaning continues]
-[rhythmic thudding]

But I thought Irene and Santi
were getting to know each other.

Oh, sure.
That's Luis and Esther. They're married.

It's not them. They're down the hall.

[moaning continues]

No, no. It's Irene and Santi.

How disappointing.
They don't know the value of waiting.

Come on. Get out.

-Oh, can I have a kiss good night?
-[exhales]

[Raúl moaning]

Raúl, you gotta leave.

-Time for bed.
-[chuckles]

[Santi moaning] Yes!

-[sighs] My God, Marimar.
-[Santi moans loudly]

-Good luck.
-Thank you. Shh!

[gasping]

-Daniela, you up?
-[shouts] What?! What are you--

Did I interrupt you?

Uh, well, yeah.

What do you need?

Well, nothing.
Just seeing if you were cold.

I'm good, thanks.

-All right, then. Um, sleep well.
-[Daniela] Mm.

Good night.

-Are you sure that's okay when you're--
-Oh.

It's okay. Check it online. Mm-hmm.

-Hmm. I'll… check it out.
-Mm.

-What are you doing out here?
-Waiting for you.

I get the feeling that Esther
is getting bored of me lately.

And now you notice?

Dude, at least you've got
someone who's bored of you.

That's true, if I compare it to you two.

-How goes it with Marimar?
-Bad. No way I'm getting laid.

[chuckles] Hey, how are things with Irene?

Bad. She only wants to f*ck.

Well, we still got two nights left.

-It can't get worse.
-[doorbell rings]

Surprise!

-What are you doing here?
-[Luz] Oh.

Mwah! Where is Rita?

Sweetie, what's up? [laughing]

Aren't you excited?

Yeah, of course.
Just, you didn't say you were coming,

and there are no rooms left.

So I can't sleep with you?

It's 'cause I'm stuck with Pedro.

Sleep with me. Luis can go with the guys.

No, no, no. There's no way, no.

Esther, this is supposed
to be a romantic night.

-[Marimar] She can sleep with me.
-[laughs]

[chuckles]

Yeah.

Let me introduce Marimar, my girlfriend.

Nice to meet you.

-[Raúl] This is Luz, Esther's friend.
-[Luz splutters]

Oh, welcome, then.
Come on, I'll show you to our room.

[Esther] Yay! How fun! Girls' night! Ooh!

-What the hell?
-Girl, I was so bored.

And you thought
this couldn't get any worse.

[Pedro blows]

What kind of sh*t plan is that?

It's finally sunny.

Marimar found a church in the village,
and she's excited about going.

-Go to Mass. What for?
-For sex.

The last time I went to Mass
was for my Confirmation.

You think they've changed,
like, lyrics and stuff?

You can lip-synch.

-Good morning!
-Oh, hello, Marimar. [chuckles]

-[Raúl] Hi, princess. Did you sleep well?
-[Marimar] Yes.

Luz is wonderful.

-Isn't she?
-[chuckles] All right. Let's get dressed.

[Santi] Yeah.

Not having breakfast, Marimar?

No, I always fast before church.

-Oh.
-But I'll help you clean up if you want.

Oh. Oh! Huh.

-[Marimar chuckles]
-[Luis] Hmm. Hmm.

Oh, hey, Raúl has really changed.
He was a mess in high school.

-Uh, you've helped him mature.
-[chuckles]

I've never experienced
someone so respectful.

-It means so much.
-Mm-hmm.

[snores lightly]

Good morning, sleepyhead.

-Raúl, Raúl, no!
-You wanna have a quickie?

-You miss having a man?
-Your girlfriend is outside.

Well, you can't just
turn up unannounced like that.

Does she know about your romantic anarchy?

She's super Catholic.

Dude, affective responsibility.
You haven't learned a thing.

-Ready?
-Yeah, but what's the plan?

[all] I confess to Almighty God
and to you, my brothers and sisters,

that I have greatly sinned

in my thoughts and my words,

-by omission.
-…omission.

-[all] Through my fault…
-Through my fault…

[all] Through my grievous fault…

-[Esther gasps]
-[all] …therefore, I ask blessed Mary…

ever-Virgin, all the angels,

and the saints,
and you, my brothers and sisters,

to pray for forgiveness…

-…to the Lord, our God.
-[winces]

-[priest] May God have mercy on us.
-[mutters]

[priest] And forgive us our sins.

-And bring us to everlasting life.
-Quiet.

[all] Amen.

-[Santi] Oh.
-[priest] Lord, have mercy.

[all] Lord, have mercy.

-Raúl.
-[priest] Christ, have mercy.

[all] Christ, have mercy.

[priest] Lord, have mercy.

[all] Lord, have mercy.

-[priest] Glory to God in the highest.
-[gasping]

[priest] And peace to his people on Earth.

Bring goodwill among men.

For we praise you.

We bless you.

We worship you.

We glorify you, and we give thanks.

I don't owe you any explanations.
Remember, we're not together, Pedro.

Your Danielers think we are, so I'm…

hmm… the official cuckold of Instagram,
so I'm the new Shakira.

Oh, so that's what you're worried about.

I'll post a Story saying the only reason
we're living together is for our daughter.

But who is this b*stard? Are you serious?

Hmm. We're getting to know each other.

[muffled] So why did
you come on this trip?

I didn't wanna make you feel bad, dude.
Look, I just…

You hear them?

[exhales] Well, no,
but based on what they're doing.

-Mm.
-[Raúl] Mm.

But that's terrible.
How could she cheat on him?

All my friends are disappointing, my love.

[Daniela speaks indistinctly]

Oh, they're coming!

-[all] Oh!
-[Esther] Come here.

-Good boy.
-[Luis] Interesting, huh?

[Santi] Yeah,
you pull the chain like this.

Look, okay, show's over. I'm outta here.

But why? If he's angry, he should leave.

Well, hmm, it is her fault, though.

I'm sorry?

Daniela, it's not my place
to get involved in your life,

but I think you might be a little wrong
to go from making love through a hole

in the bedsheet to cheating
on your husband while pregnant.

Yeah, 'cause of all of that repression.

[Irene] Nobody is leaving.

The girls are going for a walk.
Hmm? What's there to do in this town?

Something nice and chill, okay?

Oh! I don't wanna let go!

No, no, hey! You owe me one, okay?

Whoo!

I don't want a turn!

[sobbing] The log is too far away!

[shouting]

[Esther] You'll pay for this!

Ah, f*cking b*tch! [shouts]

-[horse whinnies]
-[Daniela chattering]

[all laughing]

Let's go, Esther!

How do you go faster?

Help me.

-[Luz] Come on!
-I'm so nervous. [groans]

[all chanting] Esther! Esther! Esther!

-[shouting]
-[chattering]

-Which way is it?
-That way. Wait.

[chuckles] Let's go over there.

Good, keep up the rhythm.

-Let's go. Come on!
-[all cheering]

What kind of degenerate pervert
hooks up with a pregnant woman?

They have no respect these days.

"Daniela Galván was all lovey-dovey
on the streets of Madrid."

"She was seen with an unknown young man
while pregnant with Pedro Aguilar."

-Who's this?
-[Raúl] Hmm.

Now we know why she was so happy lately.

Son of a b*tch. He caught her with her
defenses lowered because she's pregnant.

[Luis] Isn't that coerced consent?

I can probably ask Irene.

-Think they use a condom?
-Yo!

I mean, she can't get pregnant.

Well, this really can't get any worse.

Listen. It says here sperm
during pregnancy is good for you.

-It lubricates the canal for birth. Hmm.
-[Raúl] Hmm.

A bit early to be lubricating
the birth canal, though, right?

Can't we just talk about something else?

-Okay. [clears throat]
-Don't worry. She's obviously testing you.

More?

[Santi] Be nice.
Don't make it easy for this guy.

That's true. Show off that diploma.

Said they're getting to know each other.
That's what you say when you're not sure.

[Daniela] I'd forgotten what it's like
to be in love. It's so good! [squeals]

-[laughs]
-[Luz] The hormones are great, right?

I feel horny all day long, but it
doesn't make biological sense, though.

-Yeah, sex isn't only about reproduction.
-[Daniela] Mm.

[Esther] Make the most of it
before it goes to sh*t.

Luis and I went to a club for swingers,
and no one even checked us out.

What do you mean, swingers?

Oh.

[Daniela] Marimar, I don't know
what Raúl has told you about us,

but I don't f*ck
through a hole in a bedsheet. No way.

But what about your relationship with God?

Hmm. Don't have one.

Since I got baptized, it's cooled off.

Well, I always thought that
our relationship with God was toxic.

[Marimar] Excuse me?

I mean, come on, we're imperfect,
arrogant, selfish, and sinful.

But even so, God still loves us.

See? He destroys your self-esteem
through a hierarchy

so as to generate dependency,

and you think that he's the only one
who can love you.

A textbook ab*ser.

Marimar, you need to wake up.

If he was your boyfriend,
I'd say, "Red flag."

My experience tells me that you can
only be happy by following Christ.

-Mine tells me that monogamy is unnatural.
-Mine tells me that marriage is a scam.

I always make it clear
that I want casual encounters.

But it sucks. This is the third time
I've been given a f*cking ring.

-Ugh!
-You're the one with the coulant?

Yes, honey.

-[intense strings play]
-[Marimar huffs]

[Luis] Pedro, "What is the greatest lesson
that life has taught you?"

No idea, dude.

Should've gotten a house
with a pool table.

-[Luis] Hey, how was it?
-Can we speak alone?

f*cking as*h*le. You humiliated me
in front of all your friends.

Humiliated? Really, Marimar?

But she's your ex-girlfriend.
And you f*cked her.

A long time ago, barely remember.

-And we even shared a bed!
-Well, you offered.

What are they saying?

That she's humiliated.

Yeah, and she only knows half of it.

-Marimar.
-Idiot.

-[Luis] Oh, they're coming.
-[Raúl] At least let me take you home.

No, I'll call a taxi.

To Madrid?
That's gonna be really expensive.

-Don't worry. I'll take you.
-Thank you.

No, honey, I'll pay for the taxi.

-[Irene] Santi!
-Are you all leaving?

[Irene] Come here quickly!

-Move!
-Ah!

-What?
-They're having a meeting.

-Who?
-The incels. They never meet up.

This is a perfect chapter for my book.
Darío has to be there.

How can Darío go if he's you?

What? No, oh, no, no, no.

-Please.
-No, I'm not an actor.

I don't wanna get hurt.

-But they're not violent.
-But wait, so are they violent or not?

Not to each other.

Santi, I need you.

Are you my friend,
or are you not my friend?

Yes, I'm your friend.
Your coolest best friend. Yeah, but…

Why the hell are they meeting up?

Are they gonna
sacrifice a virgin or something?

I don't know.
You have to tell me if they do.

So for three years,
they've talked to Darío.

You need to study my notes.

-[sighs]
-I'll send them to you.

Hey, but do you really think
I look like an incel?

This is super secret, okay?
You cannot tell anyone.

No. No, I'd never.

[sighs] Thank you. You're the best.

[both moan]

Marimar, listen to me.

Don't talk to me.
I don't wanna see you ever again.

-You're terrible, Raúl.
-[huffs] So glad we didn't consummate.

-No, no, no, no, honey.
-We are also heading out.

You guys are leaving too?

-Luz, will we fit in your car?
-Sure.

-Okay.
-What's going on?

-It's a secret. Bye, see you. Come on.
-Mm! Bye.

Okay, until next time, guys.
It was fun. Better than Ibiza.

What? Where are you going?
I'll take you home.

-I'm not staying. There's no point.
-Oh, no.

Don't worry. I've got a ride home.

-[Pedro hesitates]
-Did she book an Uber?

No, it's not an Uber.

What a f*cking awesome weekend.

Hey, let's see who gets to Madrid first.

Hey, no, no, don't leave!
Guys, look, I found Monopoly.

All right, we're finally getting
our romantic getaway, after all.

-[chuckles]
-We have this huge house all to ourselves.

Wanna make love by the fireplace, hmm?

-[laughs]
-[mutters]

"Are you bored of your husband?"

-It doesn't say that.
-It does. Answer it.

The fireplace wasn't a bad plan. Hmm?

["The Nutcracker Suite: March" playing]